God, I need a cigarette yesterday. The fucking gall, the fucking AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH!

To say I was upset would be the understatement of the century. Scootaloo fucking snitched! To my Mamma, no less! She told her fatass Aunt what happened and she went straight to Ma about it.

Do you know what I’d do to snitches? I’d shove a dead rat in their mouth, tie their ankles to their necks and let them choke themselves. But I can’t fucking do that here, now can I?

Currently, I was just trying to brood and enjoy my lunch with my new pals when Scootaloo had the audacity to approach me.

“Hey, Leona! Enjoying your lunch?” she had a certain smarminess in her voice that just pissed me off. Without looking, I flipped her the finger.

“In case you didn’t know, that gesture means go fuck yourself. You oughta listen.” she just snorted, and I gritted my beak so hard I thought it would crack.

“Hey, you better watch what you say.” I turned around and saw her smug look, my claws scraping against the wooden table. “Wouldn’t want your Mamma to find out how you talk to ponies, would you?” she chuckled and walked away, and I genuinely wondered if I could get away with murder, one last time.

I’m gonna kill her. I’m actually gonna kill her.

If there’s anything that pisses me off more than anything else, it’s feeling powerless.

“Shoot, Lee! You really gonna let her talk to you like that?” Dee spoke up and I couldn’t help but sigh.

“There’s just… There has GOT to be a way that I can get back at her.” I leaned in and whispered. Silver Spoon decided to chip in-

“We can all go to their clubhouse and mess with them after school!” I blinked twice and tilted my head.

“They have a clubhouse?” then Dee spoke up and said-

“Yeah! It’s wayyy inside Sweet Apple Acres! Just a rickety old treehouse, really. Nothing special at all.”

Then I gasped, my eyes widening and a massive grin appearing on my face.

“I’ve got it.” I took out a piece of paper and wrote down a… shopping list. “I could really use your help, at least getting things ready.” I slid them the paper. “Think you can get some of this?”

The girls looked at each other and shrugged.

“Meet me at the outskirts of the orchard at about midnight, where that duck pond is. Trust me, I got a plan!” A good one, too. For once, I would resolve a problem without bloodshed.

This… was gonna be fun.

Come midnight, I’d snuck out of the house and was decked out in my usual black cloak. I was sitting with my back against a tree when my pals showed up, each with their packs carrying the supplies.

“You both got what I need?” They both nodded and pulled out four bottles of Rotgut- a special Griffonian import bottle only available in Equestria. “And I trust your parents won’t miss a couple bottles of liquor?”

“Come on, what’s the plan!” Dee seemed quite giddy, which was good. I smiled, having a good feeling about this.

“We… are gonna burn their clubhouse to the fucking ground. That oughta send a message that we’re not fucking around.” Dee smiled wickedly and Silver gasped, surprising us both.

“Hold on, we can’t do that!” she was whisper-yelling, glancing around like there were feds in the shadows. “That’s illegal!” I just snorted.

“Oh, please, no one’ll know for sure it was us. They’ll have no evidence, no proof. If you say your parents won’t miss a couple bottles of booze then we’ll just disappear into the night.” I gave her a wide grin.

“But they’ll suspect us heavily- they’ll know we’re not fuckin’ around and they’ll be afraid of us.” I held out a hand, “What d’ya say?” She just shook her head slowly, backing off like I had a knife in my hand.

“Wow, Silver. I didn’t realize you were so lame.” Dee said with a scoff.

“I mean, is this really worse than fuckin’ with people like you normally do?” I spoke and Silver seemed taken aback by this. “I mean, you can beat someone to an inch of their life and it’ll heal eventually. Being humiliated, though- that sticks with you. Pops into your head while you’re trying to sleep, you know?”

“That’s different!”

“Is it? At least doing this, no ones really getting hurt by it.” not that I'd care either way.

I pointed a finger at her and scowled.

“Look, if you’re not with us you’re against us. How do we know you won’t rat us out now?” I admit, I did not expect this. Normally I’m good at reading people- and I sort of figured Silver as a personality-less yes man. Guess not.

Dee slowly put my arm down.

“If she wants to be lame about it, let her. But she won’t tattle on us, I can promise you that.” I glanced at her and she looked sincere. You better be fucking right. I sighed.

“Fine. Leave the booze and fuck off.” She glanced between the two of us before squeaking out a quick I’m sorry and running home.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my beak. I looked over to DT and said “I really hope she keeps her mouth shut.”

She just shrugged. “Eh, she’ll get over it.” And I couldn’t help but smile.

I grabbed a spare black cloak out of my bag. “Put this on. It’ll help you blend in with the dark.” She did just that, and we…

Were looking pretty awesome.

Slowly, we made our way through the orchard, making extra sure to avoid more open areas; wouldn’t wanna get caught by a pegasus on a midnight flight or something.

When we made it, I couldn’t help but giggle in anticipation- apparently, Dee couldn’t help it either.

“So the process is simple-” I pulled out a bottle of rotgut and an old rag. I popped the cork, “Soak the rag in liquor, then-” I used a dowel rod to shove the rag into the neck of the bottle. “Then light the rag and throw. This stuff is crazy flammable- it’ll set that dry old wood ablaze pretty quick."

I did the process again, except I took myself a little pull from the bottle. I cringed fiercely, but with a smile- “Ohhh, that stuff burns worse than I remember.” I took a deep breath and held the bottle up.

“Want some?” she looked at it curiously before slowly taking the bottle off me. She took a sniff and recoiled back. “Don’t try to savor it- get it down as fast as you can.” She just stared at it nervously and took a gulp- regretting it immediately.

Instantly her eyes widened, nearly dropping the bottle as she coughed and sputtered. “Gah, how can anypony drink this?” I just laughed.

“It’s better on ice.” I finished making our cocktails and pulled out my lighter.

“Care to do the honors?” she seemed taken aback by this.

“Wait, you want me to help you? I thought this was your plan?” I just tilted my head in response.

“What, did you think I was gonna drag you all the way out here and say you can’t even get in on the action?” I gave her a smirk and handed her a bottle, rag facing towards me. “Try and aim for the window.”

Her smile grew and she nodded; I lit the rag. “THROW!” she launched the bottle and it smashed through the window- already I saw the glow of fire inside.

“Good throw! My turn!” She was beaming at me as I chucked a bottle of my own, just missing the window and breaking against the sill- it still burned well though.

Frig off, I’m out of practice.

“Two more left!” I handed her another bottle and we went to the front of the building. I lit the rag and she gave it a toss, barely threading through the heart shaped hole cut out in the door.

“Holy fuck, that was awsome!” I gave her a good slap on the back for that one and she started giggling with a light blush.

“Last one.” I gave the bottle a toss and smashed it against the front door. The place was really going up in flames now, the crackle of burning wood audible and the smell of smoke in the air.

“Alright as much as I wanna watch the fireworks, we gotta bail!” I grabbed her hoof as she was just standing there, mesmerized by the flames and destruction as the roof fell inward. “Come on!”

We were both running through the orchard like madwomen, giggling and laughing as we both shook from excitement; eventually we stopped back at that pond and Dee was just prancing around with a mad grin.

It’s always nice to meet another budding psychopath. Or would it be sociopath? I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist.

“Leona!” she stopped in front of me, “Am I drunk? I think I’m drunk, I feel super weird right now!” I couldn’t help but cackle.

“You’re not drunk, that’s the adrenaline!” I poked her chest where her heart would be, “It’s pumping through your system like nitrous. That’s how you know you had a good time!” my own heart was pumping heavily. She just cackled.

“Yeah I did! Those blank flanks’ll never know what hit ‘em!” I just rolled my eyes and chuckled.

Then I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Time to get semi-serious.

“Alright, alright calm yourself. We still gotta get home without raising suspicion.” I glanced back where we came from. “If anyone’s up this late, they’re gonna see that big plume of smoke coming from the farm.”

I went up to Dee’s side and put a wing around her back and she quickly calmed down.

“I’ll walk you home- that way if we do get seen, we can just pretend we’re a couple good friends out on a late night walk.” After all, it was a Friday night- so we wouldn’t look as suspicious for being out late. “And if anyone asks about the cloaks, it’s to help keep warm.”

I noticed she once again had a faint blush on her cheeks. Shit, maybe that sip of liquor did get to her a bit.

“Lead the way?” she looked at me with a smirk.

“O-Oh, right. This way, follow me!”

And so, we walked through the town side-by-side, sticking to the outskirts as much as possible to keep from prying eyes.

When we finally made it to her place, I couldn’t help but smile at the design- It looked like a classical antebellum plantation house with white columns, a balcony running across the second story and red brick siding mixed with white paneling.

We snuck through the back garden and came across an open window- her bedroom, apparently. Her movements have also been getting a bit sluggish- evidently, the adrenaline was fading fast. Heck, I feared that she would collapse under my wing. I let her climb on my back to more easily get inside, and we were both just leaning against the sill.

“I had a wonderful time tonight.” she had a warm smile and a faint blush on her cheeks. Damn, maybe the adrenaline mixed with the booze is what’s got her acting so drunk?

I just nodded. “Now remember. If the cops do show up, play it cool. As far as anyone’s aware, we were in bed all night. Don’t let them gaslight you into confessing- they know nothing.” I’d have to give her a full lesson on talking to cops eventually, but for now I just condensed it to- “Remember, NEVER talk to cops any more than necessary. They’re all bastards after a paycheck.” She nodded in understanding and I breathed a sigh of relief.

We just stood there looking at each other for a few moments before she spoke up.

“Well… I guess this is goodbye?” she had an odd sadness in her voice that I couldn’t quite place.

“Until tomorrow. Well, see you! I’ll come find you and make sure you’re good at some point.” I turned around to leave and she muttered out a yeah.

“Wait!” she yelled, and I turned around and leaned against the sill- “One more thing before you go!” I tilted my head.

Mwah

“Okay bye!” she ran into her room and I damn near fell on my ass. I rubbed the cheek she kissed curiously, as though I expected to feel blood or something.

As I walked home that night, I had a pep in my step and I felt oddly drunk… and I’m not sure why. I know ponies show friendship different from griffons- I read as much in a book- but I still felt odd.

I slept good that night.

The next morning, I awoke after a night of pleasant dreams that… Well, I couldn’t remember them other than the fact that they were pleasant. It was a minor annoyance to be sure, but I was in a good mood that morning.

My morning ritual was about the same as it had always been, with some minor differences. I was in the bathroom using a small stone and a special cream to smooth out my beak- the griffon equivalent of brushing your teeth.

You know- since we had no teeth. Actually, it might be closer to shaving off stubble in concept, but pedantics.

I went down to the kitchen and turned on the radio. The station it was currently on was playing some shitty pop music- which I wasted no time in changing. I heard a pleasant, jazzy tune playing and couldn’t help but smile. It’s not rock and roll- but it’ll do.

I kinda wanted to listen to some AC/DC, not gonna lie.

I was cooking my breakfast and swaying to the tune. Mamma was off today as well, so I thought I’d surprise her. We still had a bit of salt pork left from the journey which I had left soaking in a bowl of water since I’d gotten home that night. Cutting it into thin slices, I used it to make us what was called travelers bacon.

Not as good as the bacon that ol’ butcher Pete made.

My smile fell a little. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been missing home for awhile now- the food, the people, the culture… aside from the poverty. I couldn’t help but wonder what Vito was up to? I’d have to write to him and Auntie sometime.

Homesickness aside, I finished making our breakfast of “bacon,” eggs and (considerably better than we used to drink) coffee and I sat at the table, enjoying my breakfast with Mamma. It really did lift my mood a bit- It reminded me of the good ol’ days before everything went to shit.

Jesus Christ I’m an eight year old reminiscing about The Good Ol’ Days. That did remind me, though- my birthday was gonna be tomorrow. As a human, I never really celebrated my birthdays- even my Mother, if I dare call her that, told me all it meant was I was a year closer to dying.

Mamma, however… always went out of her way to make it feel special. We’d always have something good to eat, I’d get a couple gifts, and Gramma would bake a pie. It was nice.

I lifted my coffee to take a sip-

Knock, knock, knock.

The door. I sighed in annoyance; Better not be the fucking cops. Mamma and I went to answer, and lo and behold, the guard in golden armor was standing at our door.

“Hello Ma’am. I just had a couple questions to ask, if you have a minute.” Mamma sent a glare my way and I just raised my hands in a gesture that meant It wasn’t me!

“I suppose… would you like to take a seat?”

“That won’t be necessary Miss…”

“Grimfeather.” Mamma spoke up and the guard nodded.

“We’re currently investigating a fire that occurred at Sweet Apple Acres last night. We suspect it to be arson, so we’re just going around, asking if anypony saw anything strange.” I just huddled next to Mamma and she put a wing around my back.

“I can’t say I have, officer.” Mamma looked a little apprehensive. The guard had that same stony expression they usually do.

“Are you positive you didn’t see anything suspicious?” he glanced down at me, “Didn’t notice anypony… missing?” I spoke up in turn,

“Hey, I was sleeping all night.” I just stood firmly next to Mamma. The guard cocked an eyebrow.

“And you didn’t even, say, get up to get a snack or use the bathroom and notice anything odd?” Mamma scoffed in annoyance.

“Are you saying that because we’re griffons, you think one of us did it?” The guard's eyes widened and he began to sputter.

“N-No it’s nothing like that, it’s just-” I decided I’d join in on the fun.

“Why do all the ponies think we’re bad people, Mamma?” I gave her the best pair of puppy dog eyes I could and the guard looked really embarrassed.

“Look, it's not like that! We’re just trying to cover all our bases!” Mamma just snorted.

“Well, cover them somewhere else, then.” she slammed the door and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You gaslighted him on purpose, didn’t you?” Mamma asked.

“I might’ve.” Mamma let out a deep sigh, lowering herself to bring me to her eye level.

“Leona, sweetie… was it you? Did you start a fire in the apple orchard?” I couldn’t blame her for asking- it’s absolutely something I would do and she knows it. I simply looked at her.

“Mamma, why would I try and burn down their orchard? It wasn’t me! Honest!” I kept up the puppy dog eyes and she conceded a little. For me, lying came as naturally as breathing.

“Just… promise me it wasn’t you? Please?” she pleaded, and I looked at her with a smile.

“I promise, Mamma. I’m trying to stay on the straight and narrow, you know?” After a few moments, she smiled and gave me a hug.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Mamma.”

Later that day, I was flying around trying to find Dee. I was a little worried, to be frank- I just didn’t want her getting into shit for something I did.

“Hey, Leona!” I heard her yell from below and I smiled.

“Ayyyy, Dee!” I landed and went in for a quick friendly hug. “You doin’ alright?” I asked and she nodded, asking-

“Did the guards visit your place, too?” I just chuckled.

“Yeah they did- then I gaslighted the fucker into making it seem like we thought we were being racially profiled-” We laughed heartily, “he fucked off after that.”

After calming down, I asked her, “Have you heard anything from Silver Spoon, yet?” her smile shrank a little.

“I haven’t… I’m a little worried, to be honest. I went to her house not too long ago but her parents said she wasn’t home.” I just shrugged.

“Eh, she’ll come around eventually I’m sure.” I leaned in and whispered, “Some folks just aren’t cut out for greasework.” We were in an emptier part of town, so I had no problems discussing what happened. Dee just sighed.

“I know, but… it still sucks, you know? We’d do everything together. I can’t believe she just ran like that!” she looked to the ground. “I feel… a little betrayed, really.” I just went up and put a wing around her.

“There’s an old saying where I come from.” she looked up and cocked an eyebrow. “When the going gets rough, you find out who your friends are, real fuckin quick.” I couldn’t help but sigh, certain bad memories popping into my mind. “It’s like, you expect someone to back you up in a fight, and you fully intend to cover their ass too, only for them to fuck off when you’re not looking.

“It really sucks, don’t it?” and to be honest, if past experiences have taught me anything, it’s to keep your friend pool small and your associate pool a mile wide.

She just laughed. “Yeah. It really does.” she sent a smug smirk my way. “Tell you what, let’s see if we can find Scootaloo anywhere! I wanna see the look on her face.”

I couldn’t agree more.

We were just going around and enjoying our day, keeping our eyes open for any fuck-around opportunities when I heard Dee gasp.

“What you see?” I asked and she pointed. We found Silver Spoon; she was sitting at a picnic table in the local park, talking to who else but the fucking CMC.

“Heyy, woah what the fuck is this?” I glared at Silver Spoon- and surprisingly, she glared back.

“I’m just expressing my condolences since… since their clubhouse mysteriously burnt down last night.” Scootaloo just snorted.

“Oh please, we all know who did it!” she pointed an accusatory hoof at me. “Admit it! Admit that you burned our clubhouse down!” I just gave a mock gasp, holding a hand to my chest.

“I would never! Are you accusing me because I’m black?” black feathered, that is. Scootaloo blinked twice in confusion and I approached with a glare.

“But do be careful- that maniac arsonist is still on the loose!” I gave her a wicked smile and she took a step back. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll wake up one of these days to the sound of screaming and crackling flames; the smell of smoke and burnt flesh heavy in the air.” I put a hand to her chest and pushed her onto her ass, savoring the look of fear in her eyes. “Best not fuck around and find out, huh?”

“Stop it! Just, stop it!” My eyes widened when I realized it was Silver Spoon yelling.

“Diamond Tiara, you are taking this too far! Both of you are!” Dee just snorted.

“Oh, I’m taking this too far?” She gave me a smug look. “Because all we’ve done is warn them to be careful! What’s so bad about that?” I just nodded in response.

“You’re hurting them! Leona was right! We are hurting these ponies, all for what? Personal entertainment?” I fixed her a glare and Dee just had an odd look in her eye.

“Silver Spoon… just what have you been doing all day?” she glanced back and forth nervously, and I noticed the CMC crew were getting awfully close to Silver. She huffed and said,

“I’ve been trying to make amends before something bad happens!” Dee still had that unreadable expression and I was getting concerned. “Did you know that Truffle told me that he wanted to stop eating forever?” Dee just snorted.

“Good. That fatty could afford to lose some weight.” she gave me a smug smile “If a few insults are all it takes, then so be it!” I just smiled and nodded.

“That’s not the point!” she slammed her hoof into the dirt below. “Diamond Tiara, as your Best Friend Forever, I ask that you please stop it! Somepony’s gonna get seriously hurt if you keep on like this!” Dee just had a blank, unreadable expression on her face- one which concerned me a little. With a flat expression and monotone voice, she spoke up.

“Best Friend Forever?” she asked simply, and Silver took a step back. “Silver Spoon, as far as I’m concerned, you’re not even a normal friend, let alone my BFF.” The CMC all gasped in unison, and Silver looked utterly heartbroken. Slowly she shook her head, then turned around and bolted off.

“Come on, Leona. Let’s ditch these blank flanks.” Her expression was cold and calculating, and I had no idea what was on her mind.

I just put a wing around her back and let her lead the way in silence. We passed through the town and went into the Whitetail Woods.

We were at that big lake in the middle- it was late afternoon and the sun reflecting off it was blinding at certain angles.

We sat down on a bank next to each other and she was staring straight out.

Her breathing, which was once deep and even had begun to shallow. Her posture shifted slightly and her body began to shake. I looked over and saw she was holding back so, so much pain.

“You can let it out, you know. I won’t make fun of you for it.” That was all it took; she let out a sob and the dam broke.

I never was good at the whole “empathy” thing- so I just hugged her and let her cry into my shoulder. I knew the feeling of abject betrayal all too well.

After a little bit, her crying slowed into a much calmer whimpering.

“You gonna be alright?” I asked, and she sniffed.

“I-I think so.” she shuddered and I put a wing around her. “It just… it just hurts so much… She was my friend!”

“For what it’s worth,” I started, “I consider you to be a good friend.” And my only friend, really.

“R-really?” I just nodded with a warm smile. She just smiled back. After a few moments she said-

“Well, I consider you to be a good friend.” I couldn’t help but keep smiling.

“Thanks, Dee. It really means a lot.” I took a deep breath, and we just sat there watching the lake.

“Tell you what-” she looked up at me. “My birthday’s tomorrow. If you want, you can come over. You probably wouldn’t like what we’re having for dinner, but there’s gonna be pie at least.” Not gonna lie- I felt a little nervous asking her. She just giggled.

“Sure, why the heck not? It’s the least I could do for a friend.” I couldn’t help but put my arms around her.

And so, we just spent the rest of the day hanging out- we were going around town fuckin’ with people all day. It was nice.

The next day, Mamma made me and her a dinner of steaks and jacket potatoes- a simple meal but a treat nonetheless.

After all, beef was hard to come by around here for obvious reasons.

Mamma was really happy that I made a friend, finally. A friend who’s not even on my payroll, no less!

Dee came over not long after dinner, and we were about to dig into the pie. Mamma poured out two shots and grabbed a juice box from the fridge.

“What’s this about?” Dee asked.

“It’s a family tradition.” Mamma explained. “The idea is to get used to drinking so that when you’re old enough to buy your own liquor, you don’t act like it’s the best thing on the planet.” I don’t know about that last part, but I was glad nonetheless. It wasn’t rotgut, though- just a cheap ass rye whiskey.

“I’d like to toast-” I said, holding up my glass. Mamma joined with her glass and Dee held up her carton of juice. “To those we lost along the way and to those we gained along the way.” Dee looked at me with a wide grin. “May we forever barely avoid going broke. Cheers.” We threw our drinks back and I cringed terribly, pounding a fist into the table. Mamma had about the same reaction, except she grabbed us a bottle of juice to chase it with.

“Ohhh, that was shitty.” I took a deep breath and Dee was laughing at our expense. I couldn’t help but join in on her laughter.

“Ohhh, I’m so proud of you, baby!” Mamma hugged me from behind and I couldn’t help but blush.

“Maaa’! Do you gotta do this here?”

“Yes.” Dee kept giggling at me and I crossed my arms.

“Are you gonna let go sometime tonight?”

“Nope.” I groaned in annoyance.

Eventually I was released from my hostage situation. We ate our pie and I got to open up my gift- and it was a fucking pong machine! I haven’t played that game in forever!

The machine itself was as big as two cinder blocks stacked atop each other and weighed twice as much. I didn’t even take the time to ponder how it worked or even the fact that fucking computer technology has been invented in this early industrial country- Dee and I were just having a wonderful time playing it together.

I was winning with a score of 5-4 when suddenly-

Knock, knock, knock.

“I’ll get it!” Mamma yelled and I didn’t even think about it at the time because I was just totally lost in thought. I have a friend! I’m playing games- with my friend! It honestly felt fantastic- as though there was something missing from my life that I never knew I was missing before. And I didn’t even have to pay her a pack of smokes in return!

“Miss Grimfeather, we have a warrant for the arrest of Leona Grimfeather and Diamond Tiara.” Both of us froze stiff as beads of sweat formed on my forehead. “We were told they would likely be found here.”

“Leona?” Dee asked me. “How fucked are we right now?” That was the first time I ever heard her swear properly.

“LEONA GRIMFEATHER!” I heard Mamma yell. I gulped nervously.

“A little bit.” was my response. “Just try to keep it cool, alright?” she nodded in response.

Well…

Well shit. We were both taken to the town hall to await our trial- if you could call it that. Ponyville was such a small town that there was no proper court- so for petty crimes where no one got hurt or for juvenile crimes, the mayor would handle sentencing.

Her name? Mayor Mare. I love and hate pony names, to be honest.

The whole ordeal was being held within her office.

“So according to the confession of one Silver Spoon, and as well as circumstantial evidence in the form of liquor going missing and glass found at the crime scene, we have reason to believe that you two were behind the arson attack at Sweet Apple Acres.” THAT BITCH! Dee just shrunk beneath the mayor's gaze, and I just glared.

“So what are you gonna do? Lock up a couple of 9 year old's?” I asked, a bit of venom in my voice. The mayor just scoffed.

“According to the Juvenile Delinquency Act of 985 A.B.-” she grabbed a gavel she had nearby. Fuck knows why she had it in her regular ass office. “I sentence both of you to one month at the Manehattan Juvenile Correction Facility. To answer your question, I absolutely will lock up a couple of 9 year olds to ensure you are both taught a valuable lesson. What you did was extremely dangerous and somepony could have gotten hurt!” She slammed the gavel into her desk and Dee whimpered.

I put my wing around her. “It’s gonna be alright. It’s basically gonna be like school, except you get a bedroom. They wouldn’t chain us up in a cell.” that did little to ease her shaking. I sighed.

“I’m… I’m sorry I got you into this. That whole thing was my battle to fight.” she just snorted, surprisingly.

“Oh please. For a friend? I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” I saw the mayor give us a nasty look and I elbowed my friend.

“Don’t say it in front of her!” and I whispered, “And thank you. It means a lot.”

We were both led out of the office by the mayor and were greeted by…

Both of our families and Granny Smith- the ancient matriarch of the Apple Family.

“We’ve got a proposition fer ya.” she spoke up “Instead of shippin’ little Tiara off to some facility, I want her help with this years apple harvest.” I couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, looks like you lucked out, huh?” but she gave me a look of disgust.

“But what about Leona? Am I supposed to let her go to jail alone?” she scoffed. “Sorry, but no deal.” my eyes widened and I whispered-

“What the fuck are you doing? You don’t wanna go to jail!” she snorted.

“You said it yourself. When the going gets tough, you find out who your real friends are.” I began to feel a lump in my throat, my eyes welling up slightly.

“Thanks, Dee. It means the world to me, you know?”

“You know-” Granny spoke up. “More hooves we got the merrier, I say. I’d be willin’ ta have ye both around fer the harvest.” I couldn’t help but feel relieved.

Mayor Mare just shrugged. “Eh, what the heck.” She looked at us sternly. “Every day after school I want both of you to head straight to Sweet Apple Acres, as well as on saturday- but you may have sundays off.” she looked up to Granny Smith- “Does that seem fair?”

“Darn tootin! Don’t ya worry one bit, Miss Mare! A little bit a’ hard work oughta straighten these two out.”

I couldn’t help but feel like we would regret taking this deal.

The walk home with Mamma was long and awkward. I tried to alleviate the tension- “Man, I still can’t believe how terrible that whiskey was.” She gave me a death glare and I took that as my cue to shut the fuck up.

We finally made it to the house.

“Stay. Put.” was all she said, leaving me to stand in the living room. When I saw her come downstairs with the Heirloom, I signed the cross- as though that gesture had any meaning here.

This… was gonna suck.

The next day at school, I brought a pillow to sit my ass on. Despite the fur, it was still quite red and sore.

Dee had the same idea.

Thankfully, the stinging pain subsided throughout the day. Even better, no one said anything to us. Either afraid of us because of what we did- or they were feeling sympathy pains for our asses.

We went down to the farm once school let out, walking next to each other in nervous silence.

When Granny Smith mentioned hard work, she was not joking. Dee was literally kicking trees, causing the apples to fall into baskets below. My job was simple- load the heavy ass baskets onto a cart for Big Mac to take.

After about two hours of working, we both decided to take a breather and sat with our backs to a tree.

“I… I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard in my life.” Either one for that matter. The sun was surprisingly hot, too- Maybe Celestia was telling the world to go fuck itself. I don’t know.

“No kidding.” We both took heavy gulps from canteens, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. Neither of us were built for this kind of work and it really showed.

Applejack decided to show up with a seemingly empty cart. “Y’all better not be slackin’ off, now!” I let out a sigh that sounded like a wheeze.

“Jesus Christ, just give us a minute! I’m tryin’ to catch my breath here and poor Dee looks like she’s aboutta have a heart attack!” she just laughed.

“And where’s Big Mac, anyway? We ain’t seen him in a while.”

“Why, he’s on break, a’ course!” Dee and I both groaned miserably. Thankfully, our slave driver wasn’t completely evil- she reached into the cart she was hauling and pulled out two tall glasses of lemonade for us- which we both quaffed with gusto.

“Y’all got five minutes.” She gave us a smug smirk and a wink before walking away pulling a full apple cart. Dee looked at me.

“We should’ve just taken our chances with jail.” Dee wheezed out, and I couldn’t agree more.

“I have to ask-” I began, and she looked over wearily. “When you said you’d do it again in a heartbeat… Did you really mean it?” she just snorted.

“Fuck yeah I would. You’re my new best friend, after all.” I couldn’t help but smile.

You know, I was reading about a strange phenomenon that happens in Equestria from time to time; the ambient magic in the air sometimes reacts to strong emotions in an area.

The result? Music. As we got back to work, I heard a guitar playing out of thin air and I felt like I got a big burst of energy.

Dee began to sing- “Kickin’ trees in the- hot sun! I fought the law and the- law won!” I smiled and joined in and we sang together-

“I fought the law and the- law won!”

For once in my life, I had a friend. A real, genuine friend.

Despite the circumstances, I couldn’t be happier.

Author's Note

Redemption arcs? Nah, son.
And Leona finally made a friend! Although something tells me they won't be a good influence on each other. At least Silver Spoon is trying to be a better pony, though.
And the timeline? Fucked. You've heard of the butterfly effect- now get ready for the Leona effect.
As always, thank you for reading! Likes and comments are encouraged and appreciated greatly :3