To say the mood around my home was frantic would be an understatement. Non-essential staff like Tonio, Syl, the gardeners and the like have already been given a temporary leave, and the only reason they needed to know was for temporary security concerns.

I also had to take the time to coach Anastasia- she’d be staying with Dee and Mamma in a safehouse outside the city, and I had to make sure she knew to keep her beak shut. I didn’t know what to expect, so she’d have to miss her second day of school… fucks sake.

We weren’t fucking around, either; My entire crew was here, as well as a fistful of lower rank enforcers. As well as our usual pistols, we also carried shotguns or rifles on our sides, mainly as a show of force. I was sitting on a deck-chair on the front balcony, watching the driveway. I held a sawn-off Wynnfield lever-action carbine; it had a shiny brass receiver with a shortened stock and barrel, six rounds in the tube and one in the chamber. Some people might call this configuration a Mare’s Leg. I call it My Leg.

I shuffled in my seat cushion, sighing in boredom. With the gun sat across my lap, I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out a smoke, lighting it and leaning back. My rifle was in my right hand, the butt resting against my leg as I enjoyed my cigarette. At the front gate, slightly obscured by trees, I could see the cars we had parked on either side move to let Glimmer’s maroon roadster pull up the driveway. She was late- we only had a few more hours until Celestia would show. The cars moved to block the gate again as Starlight parked hers, clustered with the rest out front for extra protection.

“I’m up here.” I yelled down to her, and she used her magic to Blink onto my balcony- Blinking is just unicorn speak for a short distance teleportation, based on line of sight. Apparently it’s far less magic intensive than a regular teleport.

“Sorry I’m late- I had to make sure Trix-” But I held a hand up to stop her.

“That’s fine- don’t worry about it… Hemm…” Because of stress-induced chain smoking, I’d begun feeling the inkling of a sore throat; already, my voice was a little hoarse… Just like my wife!

Starlight twiddled her hooves nervously, as even the cigarette she floated in her magic field seemed to tremble. “Wh-what-er- where do you want me?” She glanced side to side, rubbing her forehead anxiously under her hat. I couldn’t help but smirk, looking at her with a chuckle.

“While everyone else looks outward for impending danger, I just want you to listen.” Because of the aforementioned sore throat, I was smoking menthol, the faint minty taste tingling in the back of my mouth. “I don’t know how involved Celestia thinks you are, and I don’t feel like giving her hints.” Starlight nodded, sitting on the bench swing and nervously fiddling her hooves some more.

“G-got it.” She said, and I leaned my gun against the side of my chair, putting a hand to her hoof.

“Hey!” I spoke softly, getting her attention and flashing her a smirk. “It’s gonna be fine! I have eyes all over the city on the eye out for danger… Plus, just listen carefully!” My compound is surrounded by a dense patch of forest outside the city down a road marked periodically with signs that said TAKE HEED! Trespassers Will Be Shot On Sight!

We both strained our ears, and Starlight squinted in confusion. “I hear… the air conditioner running. I don’t get it.” I rolled my eyes, gesturing her to give a second! And to be honest- I was so used to the sound of my A/C running that the ambient sound barely registered. To think- growing up, that technology didn’t even exist yet.

But soon, the faint whirring of distant engines could be heard above our heads… bringing another spectacle of the modern age into the forefront of our minds.

“Oh, look! There’s Adrian!” I said, pointing out the ginormous zeppelin floating ominously around my compound like a shark smelling blood. “It’s our latest model, gonna be going into production for military use eventually!” For such a massive beast, the engines were a soothing white noise from where I sat; Hell, I could fall asleep listening to it!

“You sure that’s a good idea? Seems like a big, floating target to a dragon; not discounting how incredible it is, though!” But I just had to laugh.

“Obviously, I don’t want them anywhere near the front.” The sleek gray body was only marred by the engines dangling off the bottom; Her name was LEAD ZEPPELIN, painted towards the front in black, its designation number C-007-P at the same height towards the back. The upper and lower tail fins also had my symbol for the Syndicate painted on. “The ‘C’ indicates its purpose as a cargo transport machine. The number is just its iteration number, and the ‘P’ stands for prototype.” Starlight nodded- hopefully seeing all the merits of having these flying over the nation in a time of war.

“Does it have any guns attached? Also… is that LEAD as in Leader?” She asked, and I couldn’t help but laugh aloud.

“Does it have guns? FUCK yeah it does! Four on each side, you’ll see them when it turns broadside. And these aren’t those hand-cranked ones I showed you, either…” The gatling guns only existed because of the stresses of black powder making a true machine gun impossible with it… but with, say, cordite? “Pull the trigger, RATATATATATATA, all fuckin DAY, BABY!” I let out a hearty, almost maniacal laugh… but calmed myself quickly. “But, anyways… the name is like the metal, lead. It’s the name of a band I liked as a human, that’s all… Though, they spelled it L-E-D.” I explained before she could ask.

Seeing it turn broadside slowly from the moderate distance of my front porch, I couldn’t help but bob my head to the imagined intro of a particular song I liked from them.

AAAHHHHHH, AH!
AAAHHHHHH, AH!

Couldn’t remember what it was called, though. The lyrics were kind of weird- I never understood them either. But I knew the intro, and the guitar riff was burned into my mind!

“But, anyways… I’m gonna have the meeting on this porch, here. I just want you to use your magic to eavesdrop from elsewhere in the house.” I explained quickly, crushing the butt of my cigarette out in my ceramic tray. “Transcribe our conversation and whatnot. You think you can do that?” While my in-home soundproofing privacy system worked quite well, there were a few inherent backdoors of sorts we could use to our advantage. Sometimes, you want someone listening in.

Starlight nodded plainly, seemingly much more relaxed than before. “Sure, I can do that. Where do you want me, how’d you want me to do it?” She asked as I guided her to my outdoor PA speaker panel. There was an indicator bulb that let the user know it was listening- and I had the output temporarily re-routed to my cellar using a switchboard-esque system down there. I flipped the switch on the side, turning the microphone on along with the light.

“Observe!” With the switch still active, I unscrewed the tiny bulb. I shoved a small piece of felt into the socket before screwing the bulb back in- preventing the electronics from making contact. “Now, everything we say will be sent directly to the cellar for you to record. Neat, huh?” I presented with a smirk. She looked at me plainly… before she snorted, breaking down and cracking up in laughter!

“As soon as the Princess gets here, she’ll do a scan for any magical bugs… but she won’t find any!” She snorted, lighting what I thought was her third cigarette since she got here. “It’s so dumb, and there’s a chance it’ll work!” I just giggled.

“Worst case scenario?” I said, throwing an arm around her back, “Just hide in the bushes out front and strain your ears!” I joked as I led the two of us inside. “I’mma get lunch, I’m starvin’! Feel free to join. My wife’s pantry oughta have something good for you in there.” I said, mouth already beginning to water as I imagined the epic sangwich I was ‘boutta make.

At 4:30, the Lead Zeppelin made a quick stop for refueling; apparently, Adrian and his crew haven’t seen a thing yet, so we figured why the fuck not? Ross complained his feet were tired, so instead of the circling patrol, we just had them on lawn chairs watching over the wall in a few key strategic locations; though at 4:45, I had the patrols resume. The mid-afternoon sun still had a couple more hours until nightfall, and the gentle rays did wonders to keep the early-fall chill at bay from where it beamed upon my porch.

4:50.

“Hrm-hrrm!” I cleared my throat roughly, holding a tea-tray which I set on the knee-high coffee table on my balcony. The teacups shone just as bright as the day I’d bought them, hinting at how often I drank the stuff. Them, along with my teapot, was a basic utilitarian unpainted white. A couple spoons were set out, next to a bowl of sugar cubes, a half-empty jar of honey, and a small plate with a lemon sliced into rounds. I swallowed spit, grimacing at the nagging sensation of a sore throat. Make no mistake- the tea was mostly for me. I just brought the extra cups as a basic formality.

4:56.

“Well, might as well go pee.” I muttered to myself, not knowing how long Celestia would want to talk… if she was here to talk at all. Worst case scenario, I at least don’t want my corpse to be soaked in piss, if she’d even leave a corpse.

I growled in annoyance as I did my business- Why now for all the catastrophizing? There’s something I like to say, even if a bit cliched; If I wanted you dead, you wouldn’t be talking to me. It’s true- and it’s a sense pragmatists like me often shared. Every politician is a two-faced schemer. I’m no exception, so why would Celestia be?

4:59. But my pocket watches’ second hand could be a bit off, I noted as I wound it up anxiously… I really wanted a shot of something. Something strong that’d burn my throat all the way down.

5:01.

The sun seemed to glint momentarily, and I had to squint. Celestia flew towards me gracefully from the direction of the sun, hovering in the air in front of my balcony; it was hard to get a look at her, but I could make out her mane flowing ethereally around her.

“Leona. Long time no see.” She said, seemingly waiting for an invitation.

“Likewise.” I said with a scowl, giving no hint to the nervousness I felt. “Take a seat- I have to let my lookouts know you’re here.” Gracefully she landed on my balcony, taking the seat opposite the coffee table. I then leaned against the railing and yelled- “ROSS! SHE’S HERE!” I waved, and he waved back.

I heard a chuckle behind me.

“What?” I asked, taking my seat. “It worked, didn’t it?” I had a grin on my face, and she cleared her throat. “I got tea here if you want it. Just some generic Bargain’s black tea.” I said, pouring myself a cup over a spoonful of honey and dropping a lemon slice in.

“I appreciate the offer- but no thank you.” She said, watching me sip the tea- clearly, she didn’t think I was trying to poison her. “I’m very particular with my tea.” I nodded in understanding as I felt the smooth hot tea soothing my throat, the sweet stickiness of the honey blending perfectly with the tart lemon floating atop. “How’s your family doing?” She asked casually- possibly trying to get a rise out of me.

“They’re doing well.” I explained casually- “My baby’s doing well in school, and my wife’s got a lil’ unicorn on the way.” I had a proud grin, and she nodded with a giggle.

“Well, congratulations and good luck! Raising a unicorn foal is no easy task.” She seemed genuine- and something about that concerned me. “But there’s something important I must discuss.” She said, and I gave her a smug grin.

“Finally crawled out of your deathbed to see where the world’s been heading, eh?” I asked, and she blinked- that threw her off a little bit; and she leveled me a glare, me responding with a smug grin.

“I don’t know what wild rumors have been spreading during the absence of my retirement, but I can assure you they’re not true.” Spoken like a true politician. “But, anyways… surely you must know why I’m here?” She said sarcastically, insinuating that I was a moron by her tone. “You massacred five-thousand zebras. What is your aim here? Truly?” She asked… and I paused.

“Celestia… before you get any funny ideas, I have no intention of any invasion of Equestria.” I explained simply, but she just kept that strange look up. “The zebra’s are sitting on a hoard of oil on a tract of land that’s nearly uninhabitable. To send a force of nearly five-thousand to recapture a patch of sand was sheer folly, and my troops were defending themselves.” I explained, sipping my tea and clearing my throat. “Well, now the Shah of Irem is on his knees, begging me to spare his kingdom. But if he’d just co-operated like I originally asked him to, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

She leveled me a hard glare before glancing to the side, putting a hoof to her chin. “Do you think I’m happy about it?” I asked, getting her attention. “Two sixteen year olds were there because they lied about their ages. Now, one’s traumatized and the other has two grieving parents that hate my guts, not to mention the other losses my people faced.” I sniffed, taking another sip of tea. “I want my people to be happy. I want to give them the prosperity they deserve. So why would I ever touch Equestria? What would I fucking gain by ruling over a nation of ponies that hate me?” I asked rhetorically, shrugging and leaning back in my chair.

Celestia leaned back, leveling me a flat look. “You think I haven’t realized that all the subservient pamphlets likely originated externally? Do you think Hay-Mart isn’t under investigation as we speak? How dumb do you think Equestrian intelligence gathering is?” I struggled to avoid scowling. “Especially with Twilight’s experiment in trying to turn Equestria into a Republic, I-

“But that’s just the thing!” I interrupted, “Wouldn’t you want the ponies to have a variety of options? Marksism is still quite a popular ideology- think about it. What do all the ponies who hate it have in common?” I asked, and Celestia rolled her eyes.

“I fail to see how-” But I was going off on one now.

“Celestia, the most adamant opposers of Marksism are the wealthy… the Elites. The ponies who hate it are the landlords who raise the rent on their slums, forcing ponies to live in squalor while trying to tell them settling for poverty would make them happier. They’re the rich CEO who refuses to give out raises, on the basis that doing so would lead to an increase in the price of goods; punishing everyone else because they can’t live without their ridiculous profit margins.” Starlight was probably in the basement cheering, knowing her.

Celestia huffed. “You dare tell me how my ponies are feeling?” She scoffed indignantly, and I scowled.

“Where the fuck have you been this past half a fucking decade? You know- since you had the fucking balls to disrespect my mother like you did.” Yeah, I was bringing that up. “That was disgusting and uncalled for, by the way!” I pressed my middle and ring finger down with my thumb, pointing the devil horns at her with a glare- she appeared to shrink in her seat, sheepishly looking off to the side with a blush.

“I… I admit, it was uncalled for at the time…” I huffed, saying-

“Yeah, no kiddin’! Peeping on my wife and I was one thing, but my mother!?” I growled, lighting another menthol to help soothe my aching throat. Celestia blushed and sputtered-

“Wh- I did not peep on you and your wife, or anyone! Changeling spies already had the photosketches on-hoof, and-and-” I glared at her, causing her to avert her gaze with a sigh. “I… I wasn’t in a good place mentally at the time.”

“Please, confess- maybe it’ll make you feel a little better, huh!?” I crossed my arms with a huff- and Celestia blinked.

“I… You’re… Sigh…” She looked off to the side, biting her lip. “My… had I not been actively using, I would have been more… mature for that ordeal.” My gaze softened, eyes widening as the gears in my head started turning.

“Usi- you were on drugs?” I asked, my anger fading away as realization struck. She looked away ashamed- but I wanted to know more. “I… Huh. Shit. I sympathize, I really do.” I looked off to the side sheepishly- “I’ve struggled with alcoholism for longer than I care to admit… so I know what that cycle’s like.” She nodded, a look of empathy on her face-

“My sister has told me in the past. You were kind of a way to test her theories on ‘Dream Recovery,’ an idea she had after coming across many ponies in drug comas having nightmares.” I giggled, unable to forget that weird experience.

“Don’t think I’m unappreciative of that- I just wish I took the lessons to heart earlier.” I shrugged, sipping my tea and secretly wishing it was a whiskey instead. “I uh… almost lost some important people from my life because of it.” Celestia nodded sympathetically.

“Well… at least your wife never had to tie you down because you were hallucinating would-be assassins emerging from your walls.” She giggled- but my eyes shot open. “Ketamine, before you ask… Take my advice, make sure it’s-”

“Honey, I’m way ahead of you on that… Jeeesh… Ket… That’s nasty stuff.” I almost said Jesus in front of Celestia- and she blinked oddly.

“Indeed.” She said plainly. There was a few moments of an awkward silence… and I sighed.

“Truth be told, I’m not that upset about that… that other thing.” Referring to the photo incident. “I mean, I’m still a little disgusted- but I did tell her about it.” I puffed my cigarette, looking off the balcony… I chuckled- “She said, For all the times I walked in on you? That’s what you get!” We both shared a brief spell of laughter,

“In the heat of passion, a lock is the last thing on your mind. I get that.” Celestia quipped, giggling mirthfully. “I truly am still sorry about the whole thing. I remember my dear old Mother- and she’d slap me on the back of the head if she found out!” I just shrugged, waving her off-

“Eh, all’s forgiven. If Mamma ain’t upset, I don’t have much reason to be.” I held a hand out, shaking her hoof with a warm smile.

“One of the core tenets of recovery is making amends… and I’m glad I could do that here.” She had a gentle smile- “Tell you what. Why do we have to be enemies?” She asked rhetorically, and I wanted to scream ‘THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING!’ From the beginning, I wanted nothing more than to share the prosperity with Equestria. “While a continued policy of isolationism may be the best for our nations… and I think your treatment of the diamond dogs will be quite ineffective in the long run… why not call each other friends?” She had a warm, genuine smile, holding her hoof out.

I looked at it curiously before shrugging and taking her hoof. “You are painfully easy to get along with… I assumed you thought I was some violent barbarian.” She paused briefly before giggling, “And what’re you talking about? The dogs are complacent- that’s better than I could ask for! They got their bread and circuses well taken care of.” Once again, Celestia’s breath seemed to hitch in her throat.

“True…” She muttered, looking off to the side. “Regardless- I think a policy of integration and acceptance would’ve been more beneficial in the long run, but… Eh.” She shrugged- “But I do understand relations were quite strained to begin with, probably playing a role in your choice.” I just snorted.

“Understatement of the century. Tell me- would military action against the occupying dragons of Catlus count as military action against Equestria?” I asked frankly, chuckling as Celestia cocked an eyebrow.

“On paper? Absolutely. In reality? To the victor goes the spoils.” She said with a shrug, “Normally, I would be going through great lengths to convince you that such a move would be suicide… but it’s been a few years, hasn’t it?” She mused, likely painfully aware about how shut-in she was. “I don’t even want to think about what a force of five-thousand zebra warriors would do to a pony settlement as small as the one you’d set up. The unicorn mages would try and hold their shield wall and fire off spells when they could afford to break that focus. The pegasi would skewer them from above with spears- perhaps if there were enough clouds, they could prepare a lightning storm, unless they were desperate enough to try and generate a twister with their limited numbers.” She mused aloud.

“As the earth ponies try their best!” I quipped… earning me a faint scowl.

“I do not insult the merits or capabilities of your race- I ask that you extend mine the same courtesy.” If my wife was here, I’d throw an arm around her back and say Come on, I married a dirty mud horse! Who love’s ‘em more than me? But something told me that joke would fall flat.

“You’re right. I apologize.” I was at least half sincere. “And to be fair, my army does have a small minority of ponies enlisted. Due to the current state of Equestria, certain ponies’ve swapped loyalties due to the… well, better-ness.” I blushed sheepishly, not intending to call her nation shitty to her face. “Stability! That’s the word I was looking for.” She didn’t scowl- so that was good at least. “But the dozen or so enlisted ponies there were essentially tasked with the crew-operated gatling guns. If a unicorn fired a spell off, it never made it into the official report.” I sniffed and cleared my throat, pouring myself a second cup of tea and swirling in some honey.

“That’s what I was getting at.” She muttered, grimacing as the zeppelin partially covered the lowering sun. “And the driver behind the fear that made me call for this meeting. Dragon scales can be pierced by no existing bow-and-arrow, and the only swords made legend for piercing their hides belong to my sister and I. So what’s your strategy?” She asked, half-staring off into space, probably remembering something she’d rather not.

“What happens when a heavy mace meets a steel plate? Well, a steel plate with the flexibility of chainmail, and… Ah, this metaphor kinda fell apart.” I muttered to myself, causing Celestia to giggle. “A steel plate that can pop its own dents out! You shoot it, and it buckles before deflecting the bullet… but what happens to your sternum beneath the armor?” I pounded my chest to prove a point- “The bullets fired by my individual soldiers will, if not pierce their scales, pulverize anything beneath! And while they’re coughing blood and falling from the sky, they’ll be getting shot over and over again!” It’s like how modern body armor worked back home- it’ll stop a bullet, but it won't stop your organs from screaming out in pain from the energy transfer.

Celestia nodded in understanding, a somewhat impressed look on her face. “What about Ex-Dragon Lord Torch?” She asked, referring to the building-sized dragon who destroyed the bridges. I gave her a smug grin, leaning in to whisper a hint at what I planned.

Her eyes widened as the words left my mouth.

“Fucker won’t know what hit ‘em.” I said as I leaned back, a smug grin on my face. “Do I have your approval?” I asked smugly, and she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“The world is advancing so quickly around me- even without my hiatus, I feel like I’d have trouble keeping up.” She muttered to herself, looking towards the horizon.

“Truth be told, this war is happening with or without your passive approval- and I mean no insult by that.” I said, lighting another cigarette with a light cough as her gaze was seemingly held by the sun. “If you must break the law, do it to seize power.” I read that quote in a book before- and I loved it. “The die is cast, Celestia. My army will cross the Rubicon to deliver to the dragons a curb stomping so thorough, that-”

“In all other cases, observe it.” She said plainly… causing me to blink in confusion.

“What?” I said plainly, sipping my tea and preparing to dish out some sass.

“If you must break the law, do it to seize power; in all other cases, observe it. That’s how the phrase goes.” I blinked, scratching my head in confusion. I read that book here, right? On Equus? “I have lived long enough in both years and accomplishments, Leona.”

I simply nodded. “Fair enough. Figures you’ve been around long enough, you read a lotta books.” I half-stammered awkwardly… and Celestia sighed.

“But… by what means do you use to quote Gaius Caesar before me?” She looked at me with fear and concern. I sat there like a fucking idiot, jaw and eyes hanging open limply.

“Caes… Gaius Caesar. J… Julius?” I stuttered, in utter disbelief at what I was hearing.

“His gentes, yes.” She responded like it was obvious. I stood there, frozen in awe. Neither of us seemed able to think of words, the two of us just sitting there with our eyes locked.

“S-So… you’re… you’re a h-hum-” I stuttered, hesitating almost.

“Congratulations!” A deep, smarmy voice spoke above our heads. “You’ve figured it out!” A glance at the sky told me the zeppelin was on the other side of my home, and Ross sat on his chair with his back turned.

“Discord.” I growled deeply, and Celestia just sighed. He floated off the edge of my balcony, pretending to casually lean against the post. “Do you mind?” I asked, and he cocked an eyebrow.

“Do I mind what?” He asked, snapping his finger. “How could I miss this reunion of humanity?” I didn’t even have to look down to know that my tits were out; my sore throat discouraged me from yelling, thankfully.

Looking at Celestia, I saw… a rather plain woman. Much like mine, her body was covered in thin black hair, unshaven all the way down to her snatch while the hair on her head hung to her shoulders. She was kinda short, her average-sized tits being a sight for sore eyes. From her dark eyes and shapely nose, I had an inkling of a feeling where she was from.

“Discord… please.” Celestia said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Not now.” She looked my body up and down, much like I did hers.

“To be fair?” I said with a smirk, “If I saw two pretty Italian ladies sitting naked in front of me, I’d be hesitant to leave too.” She looked at me and gave me a brief chuckle.

“How did you know my father hailed from Italia?” She asked, and I just shrugged. “Was it… oh God, it’s the nose, isn’t it? My father even got his name from it- Aquilinius!” We both shared a giggle while Discord scoffed at me.

“Why is it always something sexual with you?” He asked me with his arms crossed, and I shrugged with a look of incredulity.

“Why? You wanna see me without clothes so bad!” I purposefully put my leg up over my chair’s armrest. “Come on! Isn’t this what you wanted to see?” I crooned sarcastically, gesturing to my snatch.

“UGH! Disgusting!” He snapped his fingers; I was a griffon again, Celestia was a horse. “Bad!”

“Whaddafuck!?” I exclaimed as he summoned a spray bottle out of nowhere, spraying my face like a misbehaving cat.

“Bad! That’s inappropriate behavior for a kids show!” I glared at him, gritting my beak- and Ross finally decided to turn around from the distant wall, aiming his shotgun from shock. “HEY!” Discord said to him, moving like the fucking flash towards him.

“Watch where you point that thing!” Discord’s head appeared out of the end of Ross’ shotgun, scolding him for doing his job before disappearing with a laugh.

Ross looked at me incredulously. I just shrugged. Then he shrugged, returning to guard duty.

“Anyways…” I muttered, wanting to change the topic. “I gotta know- where’re you from?” She hummed, holding a hoof to her chin as she tried to remember.

“I was raised in Cataractonium. You ever been there?” She asked, and I shook my head. “It’s a city in north Britannia, not far from the Wall of Hadrian. My father was an architect- designed the bathhouses, the Circus, all sorts of stuff!” My suspicions were all but confirmed.

“You and I come from… very different era’s, Celestia. Our ancestors may have come from the same sunny peninsula- but I suspect there may be a two-thousand year difference involved.” My voice caught in my throat, throwing my arm towards my face to cover my cough. “About a week ago, I spent a couple days taking care of my daughter while she had the Bird Flu. Evidently, it’s almost my turn.”

I sniffled, sipping on the lukewarm tea. “There is so much I wish to discuss, but I fear that talking may soon be unbearable.” I joked with a smirk- and Celestia nodded with a look of sympathy.

“The feeling is quite mutual, I assure you… Dare I ask. How fare’s mighty Rome?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Depends who you ask! The city of Rome may have been sacked, but the emperor moved the capital to Byzantion, to the east, until that eventually fell to the Ottomans… but the bottom line is, Italy was a capitalist republic when I cashed in my humanity.” She nodded, humming to herself.

“Tell you what- there’s these dream-meetings I like to attend. I forget the acronym- but it’s essentially an anonymous way of doing group therapy.” She suggested, and I cocked an eyebrow. “If I could set up a dream for us, we could spend hours discussing the worlds from which we hail!” I nodded, remembering that time Ponyville got launched into a shared dream. I had two Tommy guns under my arms, firing away at the sky!

“Why not?” I said with a shrug, holding my hand out. “You wanna be friends? Fuck it. We’re friends.” I coughed into my shoulder as I took Celestia’s hoof again. I noticed that the sun was setting, and dusk would soon be descending on all of us.

I looked at Celestia, sitting in the shade… turning somewhat transparent as the sun fell.

“Rest well, friend. Be seeing you!” She said, disappearing entirely with the setting sun.

“Oh. Okay.” I muttered to myself pulling a handkerchief out of my pocket to blow my nose, lazily tossing it off to the side. “I’m going to bed- I feel like shit. I’ll talk about what… whatever tomorrow. Please, let everyone know they’re good to go for me.” I said into the microphone, clicking the device off and heading inside. More and more, my head felt like it was filling with fog.

I went straight to my bedroom, throwing my clothes off into a pile. I sighed in relief as I crawled into bed, resting my eyes as the ambient light faded away… but my sinuses, getting stuffier by the second, wouldn’t let me sleep.

“Aaagh!” I groaned in annoyance, futilely attempting to clear my nose into a tissue. I lay on my back, bored and breathing out my mouth. Maybe… maybe I just needed to expend a little energy. Celestia… human Celestia… was still quite fresh in my mind. “Ehhh, fug it! What else I got to do?” I said, tossing the blanket off and sticking my legs in the air.

Discord's brief show left much of Celestia’s body up to the imagination as I pictured her in my mind, nonchalantly bare-ass naked on my balcony. As I played with myself, I could hear her voice in my head- saying cheesy stuff like when in Rome- may as well fuck like a Roman, you plebeian slu-

SLAM!

“Leona, I heard you were sic-” I heard Mamma’s voice as she barged in my room, My tail and both my hands rushing to cover my shame. “Really? Really!?” She asked, and I was thanking whatever deity would listen that it was just Mamma and not Anastasia.

Why does this always happen to me?

On a positive note… at least my sinuses cleared briefly when I finally came after that interruption. Small blessings.

Author's Note

Italian American meets a Roman Citizen. Fangirling ensues :3
Join the discord server if you wanna talk about the latest chapters and stuff :p

As always, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! What ya's think about the revelation? I've been sitting on it for a while :p