“One day yer gonna grow up to be a mare; yer a good, honest girl- and maybe by the time yer grown, Apple Family Farms’ll have grown big enough too that… I’m not gonna bore you with all my fancy college-words, Applejack.”
“Always remember- be honest with your friends, be honest with the business; your friends will stay your friends, and the Apple Farms’ll flourish. Don’t lie, cheat, or steal- Princess Celestia would never stand for it!”

As her Ma’s words rang in her ears, Jackie felt… numb. Staring up at the exposed springs of the bunk above her, she never imagined she’d be wearing one of those infamous black-white striped shirts: Labeled on the right side of her chest as FE40536.

“Mrs. Apple?” the sound of a guard outside the cell door snapped her out of it. “Your Lawyer is here.” She looked at him for a moment and nodded, getting up silently.

“Wooah, AJ! You’d better not be runnin’ without me!” The green hippy mare who occupied her top bunk quipped while snickering- not even bothering to roll over.

Applejack giggled- “Wouldn’t think the world of it… Tree Hugger, right?” Rolling her eyes and following the guards, who all shot glares at the mare on the bunk. “If you don’t mind- Jackie Apple. Call me Jackie.”

Fwoooo-

Looking back to see what the sound was- she saw Treehugger puff on a straw like a joint. “Rock oooon~ Can’t regulate placebo, bitches!” A bit crass- but a friend of Fluttershy’s was a friend of hers; and there were no-doubt worse cell-mates to have.

Furthermore- the guards were all unicorns, armed with shiny new cap-and-ball revolvers, made to mimic the ones seen in Griffonia… they know how their style of ammunition worked- but without the industry secrets required to make the machines necessary… they were still woefully behind. These particular ones were particularly bulky copies of the Galante-made ones used by Leona herself…

To anyone who knows guns- think of a cap and ball revolver designed on the general shape and vibe of a Webley Mark-IV… with none of the original functionality of the Webley aside from the fact that it is, in fact, a revolver. Insightful.

Bottom line is, they all knew not to fuck around. That’s why the guards flanking her didn’t even bother with chains.

Rows of cells and concrete occupied all five floors of this prison complex’s main ward. The cells were full of miscellaneous nicknacks, the crowd was full of faces; some prisoners gawking in shock, others laughing joyously at the irony, some were even wishing her death; and aside from the guards encircling her, were the ones tasked with keeping the peace while they entered a quieter hallway.

No more cells… small barred windows… concrete halls. And as their echoing hoofsteps rang in her ear, bouncing off the mundane propaganda posters and the walls of stone; all of it was a facade- a comfortable dam holding back the dreary stone ocean.

They led her to a booth room with one-way glass and soundproof walls, instructing her to take a seat at the table and wait; and thanks to the rights of due process, her private law firm would’ve had the room monitored for bugs already.

“Your lawyer’s here.” She eventually heard one of them yell from outside the room… allowing Applebloom to walk in calmly, holding a briefcase in her muzzle; along with her expensive pinstripe, she wore a matching black bow in her red mane. Shutting the door behind her, she set the briefcase on the table… approaching her sister with a wide grin.

“Watch the right side ribs- Twilight’s got a nasty right hook.” she muttered, rubbing her tender ribs as she got up… the two immediately going for a prolonged hug.

After some time her sister pulled back and spoke with a grin. “So, let's get down to brass tacks here.” Each taking their seats… They still gave each other a loving smile. “Button Mash and the twins are still a little shook up, but they’re managing; my husband’s soft, but he’s not weak… mentally.” Applejack nodded approvingly, always wanting status updates on the immediate family.

“I only ever called him weak when he challenged me to a hoof-wrestle to impress you- back when he was just a scrawny teenage colt.” The two shared a giggle at that memory, both silently recalling how fast he lost and how hard he cried… but Applebloom had the additional sweet memory of consoling him when he ran out into the orchard on that hot summer night; holding on to him while convincing him that she didn’t think he was a loser, sung from the heart to the chorus of midsummer insects… and the smell of the apple-orchard breeze that brought a sort misty-eyed nostalgia one can only find in a memory… that’s why she named her twins Junebug and Orchard Breeze, when they were eventually born.

Applebloom sniffled, pulling a handkerchief out of her pocket to wipe the tears out of the corner of her eyes. “Best. Wingmare. Ever. To think- I wanted to choke you when I thought you drove ‘im away!” The two giggled- That beautiful summer would be a cherished memory forever.

While Applebloom blew her nose, Applejack spoke- “Can’t forget- what about Big M-!” Her hoof shot to her mouth politely, looking down and catching herself like she was about to curse. “Orchard Blossom- I mean, you named your daughter after Big Sis for landsakes! Heavens to betsy!” she genuinely felt frustrated with herself- and Applebloom put her hoof up with a smile.

“Jackie- how many times does she let AJ slip?” Jackie sighed, looking off to the side apologetically. “It’s okay to make a mistake- as long as you apologize when you do, then here’s what’ll happen- I’ll either give ya a great big smile or if I’m not around, you’ll have my earnest appreciation.” The two sisters looked at each other with grins- transitioning was probably the best thing to happen to their newfound oldest sister’s confidence and self image… ever. “You wanna know what I think it is?” Applebloom asked snarkily, her sister cocking her eyebrow in turn. “You’re jealous because you’re not the oldest sister anymore!”

Applejack huffed with a grin- “Stuff. It.” While her sister just stuck her tongue out playfully. “If anything, I’m happy that Sisterhooves Social turned out the way it did!” Applebloom just snorted with a grin.

“No? Really?” Jackie rolled her eyes silently at the flat look and snarky tone she was being given. “Our marketing department wouldn’t be nearly the world-class juggernaut it is without Orchard at the helm… You know what they say about quiet ponies- all that time in your head makes you creative I guess.” The two shared a soft giggle, returning to seriousness with a deep breath. “But uhm… Well, neither one of us are doing too good right now.”

The level stare and flat tone Applebloom gave her made her aware of just how… tired her sister looked. “Let me have it- I’m sure whatever it is… you probably told me so, right?” Jackie smirked briefly… but her sister had her heartfelt introduction; it was time to talk to her Lawyer, signified by Applebloom gently undoing her bow- twisting her mane into a ponytail and using the bow as a simple hair tie. Because of the constant stress between dealing with family and dealing with work, the youngest Apple sibling found it easier to just… have another Applebloom she can mentally switch to.

Back in college, she picked up saying s’alright in response to any minor inconvenience; a friend took that and gave her the nickname Sally Right, Attorney at Law. It reminded her of the concept of Plurality amongst changelings, where a single body can hold more than one mind; was like a mental defense mechanism- so while the more personal Apple Bloom hopped in the mental backseat for a rest, Sally Right hopped in the driver's seat to spare the other personality from having to scold her sister like a proper lawyer- with no jargon, no sugarcoating, and no concerns over feelings… or ethics in regards to skirting the law for family.

Letting her red ponytail flop down, Sally stared forward… blankly. But Jackie knew she just had to wait a seco- “Ahh, where was I… oh right.” Sally said on cue, clearing her throat while her sister prepared to get chewed out; it wasn’t personal, it was just business.

“As your lawyer, I suggest you sit down and be quiet- I don’t even know where to begin with this fiasco!” She got up and sat on her flanks, spreading her arms wide in frustration- “I can’t even say S’all-right, sis! It’s not alright!”

Jackie sat quietly as her Lawyer ranted, pacing in circles around the room like a shark smelling blood. “So let's start with the what happened- And I’ll tell you exactly what happened!” as she ranted, her sister stared forward contemplatively, taking all the time she needed to think. “For starters: Hay-Maker’s been under Don Fatasses direct influence this whole time- hey, remember when I tried to warn you, and you didn’t believe me? If the rumors are true, your good friend and honest businessman is trying to strike a deal by selling whatever he knows to the crown.” She nodded along, all while Sally continued going off on one.

“But that’s not even the cherry on top of the told-ya-so sundae!” She stopped directly in front of her sister, sitting on her flanks and throwing her hooves out- “YOU DIDN’T THINK A BUNCH OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND CARRIAGES COMING AND GOING FROM A SUPPOSEDLY ABANDONED FARMHOUSE WOULDN’T BE SUSPICIOUS!? Even when you still had Twilight on your side, do you really think-!”

“HEY!” Her sister barked, slamming her hoof down on the table- “There is no point in bringing her up right now!” Sally just gave her an incredulous look, eyes wide open. She approached the table slowly, leaning into it with her front hooves and craning her neck down to look her sister in the eyes- and Applejack gulped nervously.

“Let me tell you something- do you know where I was, what I was doing while you were out?” She asked, her sister flinching involuntarily. “Sick. With food poisoning. Four in the morning, you know where I was?” She sat down on the stool across from her sister with an intense glare, who simply tried to avoid eye contact. “In the bathroom. Taking phone calls in between scrambling through law books, trying to find something I could use to get you outta here!”

Jackie looked away ashamedly… slowly coming to terms with how fucked things truly were as her sister’s alter-ego went off- “Orchard B’s been running herself ragged between dealing with the media, PR, and whatever the fuck else she can to keep our name from getting completely dragged under and shot!” Sally hung her head, resting against her hooves- “And as for your Vice-prez, Braeburn’s runnin’ like a headless chicken dealing with the shareholders that haven’t offed themselves yet… and I’m dealing with worried calls from his husband on the daily.” She sighed… taking a deep breath and looking up slowly.

“So after the stress prolonged my case of the trots out over two days plus three more of constant, sleepless, expensive, and mind-numbing reading… I’m serious, our whole private firm’s been clockin’ OT scouring the national Book Dump from opening visiting hours, up until the guards are dragging us outta Canterlot Library.” She quickly flipped open her briefcase, sliding a paper-stuffed brass ringed binder and presenting it to applejack closed. “I’ve come up with the best legal defense plan possible… considering the circumstances. Take a look, tell me what you think.”

Applejack gave her sister an impressed grin, though she only got the same neutral look in turn… nevertheless, she flipped open the binder excitedly, revealing- “Wha- this is fulla blank paper!” she slammed the folder shut angrily, “What… what’re you-”

“Jackie, please listen-” she huffed in response, all while Sally looked on in trepidation. “There was a recording- and I’ve read the transcripts.” Fear began to creep up her back, seeing her sister's dead-serious expression. “If you had ever mentioned my name specifically, we’d both be on the same side of that table; that we still have the blessing of attorney-client privilege is sheer luck.” It began to dawn on Applejack- they weren’t bluffing when they said they had a recording.

Sally kept her muzzle shut, locking eyes with her older sister as she slid the binder out of the way. Removing her hair tie entirely in one swift movement, she let her mane flop loosely around her shoulders as she reached to hold her sister’s hooves.

“This is both of us talking to you; even if Sally is rough and blunt… she loves you just as much as I do.” Both mares felt tears welling in their eyes; and in that moment, Jackie felt like the younger, less wise one. “No matter how you spin it- they have what amounts to a direct confession of conspiracy to commit treason; no matter what you say to a jury, they’ll know that you meant every word you said because you thought you were safe.” as she reiterated her statements, it seemed as though her Apple Bloom personality and Sally Right personality were both interjecting subtly.

While Jackie held her tears inside, Apple Bloom's tears rolled down her cheeks freely. “The sentence for conspiring treason is death- no ifs, ands, buts, precedents, nothing aside from death! Death, or some very limited form of pardon; and the only case you’ve likely heard of where that happened is for Luna’s mock absolution trial after her return- and I can barely count those other fringe-cases on my four-fucking-hooves!” As she spoke, Jackie saw an anger in her sister's eyes… which turned to despair which punctuated the last sentence… almost like AB was shocked at Sally’s harsh choice of words.

“I…” Apple Bloom clamped her eyes shut, head hanging as she bit her lip, trying desperately to keep her composure. She blew her nose into a large pocket handkerchief- using the clean corners to wipe her tears and setting it off to the side. She sniffled, looking her sister flat in the eye again- “I talked to Twilight… begged her, really. She told me that she had a meeting tonight in regards to how to handle this whole thing and… she told me she has high hopes… whatever that means.” Looking down slowly, she had a weary look in her eye. “That's it. I only got one other thing.”

Jackie was always the type of mare to cry on the inside- a mare like her can hardly afford to show an abundance of tears; aside from the occasional spillover, keeping her composure was… usually her strongest suit. While she took a deep breath, her sister was once again opening her briefcase.

“Twilight gave me a personal letter of approval to bring this- nothing wrong with needing a drink, she said.” She said, pulling out an old but ornate wooden box made of hoof-carved applewood. Though partially faded, the still excellent mouth-calligraphy on top read-

Granny Smith’s
Goodest Whiskey!
Stay out, fillies and colts! Only a Beating awaits the Bold!

It was a relic their Mother Pear Butter made for Granny before their oldest sister was born; she made this after a conversation they had where Granny wanted to lock up the good booze… simply so they wouldn’t drink it all as teenagers. Therefore, the ‘goodest whiskey’ had an extra line of defense… being the half-tarnished brass latches on the front of the box; being the only their mother didn’t make, they were simply mass produced by a vendor that Barnyard Bargains used to go through… but she hammered the tacks in place herself.

“Don’t get me wrong- I love Orchard Blossom with all my heart…” Jackie mused aloud as her sister clicked the latches open, swinging the lid open slowly. “But I love you a little more right now.”

Inside the wide box was a fifth of homemade applejack- originating from a small select reserve that made up Granny Smiths last distillation run of the stuff before she passed. Along with that were red velvet lined, hoof-shaped cutouts meant to hold up to fifteen shot glasses, three rows of five- though the box only had four glasses within. That’s how big they wanted the family to be, before the carriage accident left Apple Bloom as forever the youngest sister.

Apple Bloom spoke calmly and plainly… almost numb-sounding. “I can’t help but feel that we sort of got… corralled into this… life. All because of a mix of poor circumstances.” As her hair was still down, it sounded like two constituents of her mind were sharing the floor; Apple Bloom says how she feels- then Sally explains why… but Jackie was distracted.

“Still got Grannie’s hoof writing on the label.” And since her sister barely seemed to be listening anyway, what did it matter? “I hear what you’re saying, sis. But I wanna circle back to that- I’ve never read this before, have you?” Her sister blinked in response, realizing that… her sister was right.

Thinking quickly, she swiftly tied her bow back up into her mane- kicking Sally to the backseat. “Uhh…” Apple Bloom stared downward blankly… blinking twice. “The uh… Oh!” Jackie giggled while the two tried to decipher Granny Smith’s shaky, handwritten note on the standard label template, glued on the front.

They could tell she wrote carefully, and the fact that there were a few layers of labels glued on told them she had a few retries… but she was a strong, proud mare; despite her then-insistent trembling, her handwriting was reasonably small, and only a little jagged. But anypony who saw her once beautiful handwriting would recognize it instantly, even in this state-

To my beautiful foals, grandfoals, so on and what have you- Thank you.
I couldn’t have asked for better souls to call family- and I couldn’t resist making one last batch to celebrate.
So, before I go- save this. Save it for a good day, or for a bad day; I’ll always be keepin’ an eye from above with a proud grin either way.
Take the wisdom I’ve taught you, and you KEEP TEACHING IT! And when you come across your own wisdom, you know darn well what to do with it.
Your Granny Smith loves you all in ways I can’t describe on such a small canvas.
So… Cheers! We’ll see each other again one day, I know it.

Over the part of the label that had a box to write the proof, written haphazardly overtop the labels’ faded-red outer border and trademark info-

STRONG! Made me cough hard!

While Apple Bloom was once again blowing her nose and wiping tears off her cheeks, her sister had a wide, nostalgic grin. “About as good as any number to know how strong it is, I reckon.” she said, popping the cork and pouring out two shots.

While Apple Bloom choked back full-on sobs from how emotional that made her feel, she grabbed the shot glass- leveling it with her sister. “Ch-cheers… To Granny Smith.” Despite how choked up she was, she exhaled as they clinked glasses-

Tink!

Shooting them back, they both inhaled slowly afterwards and exhaled slowly… just as Granny eventually taught them both how to when she deemed them old enough.

The two of them suppressed their urge to cringe at the burn, Apple Bloom shaking her head with a sigh. “Granny Smith was a mother to me- I’m sorry to say it like that, but it's the truth…” she sighed, grabbing the bottle and pouring two more shots. “And despite the trauma it put me through at the time… I couldn’t think of a nicer way to go.” She finally smiled-

Tink!

“Ehyuhyu!” Jackie shuddered and giggled simultaneously, “Eeyup! All four of us in the living room- having a nice conversation after a fantastic Hearth’s Warming dinner." She wasted no time, grabbing the bottle and pouring two more shots. “Passed in her sleep on her rocking chair, surrounded by family.” Constantly aware of the striped shirt on her arms… Jackie couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever be afforded that luxury. “But I understand where you’re coming from as well… it wasn’t easy for any of us to get rid of that dark cloud that… well, followed right afterward.”

Tink!

As it happened, Apple Bloom was the first to realize that her snoring had stopped- and did not take it calmly or easily. As she poured two more shots, she spoke- “But, hey- that whole thing is what led to me finding Sally Right’s-” She spoke thoughtfully, the two sisters raising their glasses in unison whilst Jackie waited for her sister to finish patiently- “Cheers to Sally- without her, I’d have went no-pegasus skydiving off Mount Canterhorn.” Having an alter with flexible morals is imperative if you wish to not bring extra stressors from work home… and vice-versa. The two sisters giggled-

Tink!

“Hoooo, nelly!”
“Yeeeesh!

The two sisters cringed, clamping their eyes and focusing on steady breathing to calm down. Jackie looked up with a giggle, saying- “We-e’ve gone through half the bo-o-otle!” She laughed as she spoke, her sister laughing as she pulled her bowtie out. “One more, save tha rest for Blossom after!” She poured out two more shots while Sally Rights sloppily tied her ponytail up,

“To the Empire we built together.” Sally mused, holding the glass up and meeting her sister in the middle. “Along with every second we’ve spent together as a family, Apple Bloom wanted me to add.” Jackie giggled, pausing for a moment of thought.

“Whatever happens, sis…” she spoke somberly, Tink! They clinked glasses, giving each other warm smiles. “T’ain’t yer fault, ah… ah messed up.”

Shooting the glasses back, they slammed them on the table with a clack! “I’ll have me a good nap after this’un.” She said, jamming the cork in tight, packing it away with the shot glasses.

“It’s not wholly your fault, either.” Unlike her sister, Apple Bloom had a full lunch before she arrived… whereas Jackie had merely been picking away at her meals from the anxiety. As a result- she wasn’t so drunk that she was periodically slipping out of her received accent. “Apple Bloom and I have been thinking this over for a while- and we want you to hear it.” The only tell of her inebriation was the faint blush on her cheeks and the fact that she was referring to her other self as a separate individual- something she tried to avoid doing so as to not be perceived as ‘crazy.’

“Spill it, ‘hun.” her sister replied, clicking the latches to the box closed. “Wha’s on yer mind?” She asked, leaning into the table with a smirk, preparing to listen.

“The more and more I think about it, the more I realize that expansion was our only option for survival in the long run.” Jackie tilted her head while her sister reached into her jacket- producing a wooden cigar box meant to hold a single cigar- inside of which was a half-smoked stogie… and as it turns out, the box also functions as a lighter on one end… Naturally, indoor smoking was heavily tolerated; a complimentary ash tray was already set out on the table. “Remember when I was like… twenty-three, and you found a bunch of old stocks daddy never told anypony about in the attic?”

While Sally lit the stogie, starting it with a few soft puffs- her sister nodded with a chuckle and smug grin.

“... You mean those stocks that turned out to be worth hundreds of thousands, single handedly putting you through college, buying Granny a new hip, and went towards buying out an up-and-coming competitor?” She giggled, Sally giving her a wide grin. “I’d never even seen so much liquid cash… but when I signed that fancy new cultivar up for that exclusivity contract with Phil…” Jackie had stars in her eyes as she recalled. “There were so many bits, that the little Ponyville Bank couldn’t handle such massive amounts! Piles of golden bits locked away in the barn, guarded 24/7 by big, beefy griffons with swords and crossbows until Phil convinced his bank to sign us on as partners!” The two giggled at the story, thinking of how fun those days were until… until it just became part of their job.

“Jackie- I missed four lectures at Canterlot Law to come home and see it for myself… before Sally came along.” Her sister gave her a wide grin as she spoke- “Remember when we all got our old sleeping bags out because the three of us thought it’d be fun to sleep next to the pile of money?” But before her sister could go on a rant about how- there ain’t nothing wrong with a little bit of money!- she continued, “Because I remember distinctly that it was an absolute blast! It was like when we were kids- the only difference being three sisters instead of two!”

After a few moments of giggling, Sally forced herself to calm down and took a few puffs of her stogie. “Alright, enough distractions- listen for a second.” smoke rolled from her lips as she spoke, her sister nodding lazily as her laughter slowed down- the smile never leaving her face.

“So, the Apple family as a whole- we’re made up of several different, sometimes but mostly tangentially related community families.” The smile slowly flattened off on her sister's face as Sally continued- “Not strictly unified, but always keeping touch to ensure we were all keeping up with each other… And I was thinking- why did Daddy buy all those risky stocks in secret, not telling a soul before the worst happened?”

Jackie tilted her head curiously now, wondering where her sister was going with this. “Obviously, mommy and daddy wanted a lot of foals- as you typically do as a farmer, to help with the big harvests; and with how many years separate us foals, there was plenty of time to have more… but they didn’t, and I think I know why…” Jackie was sitting quietly, as she knew her Lawyer was the pony in the driver's seat; more direct and impersonal, getting her point across concisely. “But look at the consequences first; of how hard we had to work to keep up with the harvest, barely breaking even as we had to hire seasonal labor yearly- Daddy was wise enough to see how unsustainable in the long run this would be, and made some risky capital investments that accidentally paid dividends.” she took a few slow puffs of her cigar.

Jackie nodded- she spoke slowly, slurring her speech slightly but sticking to her trained enunciation. “I’m following. I saw the original stock prices- later on I went back to our old bank to look at their records- lo and behold, Ma and Pa had five-thousand bits transferred to a Canterlot Branch… near Palistrade Avenue, probably where they used it to buy those very stocks.” Sally nodded along with a plain expression. “Ma was from the Pear family- they had a big enough familial labor pool that they could send one of their own off to school… and Pear Butter happened to fall in love with Daddy. She might’ve just been smart enough to sniff out such a lucrative gamble- or maybe she had friends on the inside before… you know.” Sally nodded, blowing out a puff of smoke before speaking-

“Listen to me- I talked to Orchard Blossom. You remember how thin the walls were in the old farmhouse?” she had a sly smirk on her lips, while her sister grimaced in disgust… and her other personality just tried not to listen. “I had to ask because Apple Bloom wouldn’t; our older sister can confirm, they tried for a foal as often as they could- which was unfortunate for our midnight-snack loving older sister. No hiding the cookie jar with her around, eh? Remember how upset she was when Granny made her bolt the lock on the cabinet she started keeping the cookies in?” that little tangent seemed to pull her sister's mind away from the immediately disgusting implications of her original statement as she giggled. “Full disclosure- I wasn’t there… but Orchard said you always got a kick out of that.”

As Jackie nodded, Sally continued- “And back to what I was saying about the branches of the greater apple family- You and I both know how common inter-cousin marriage was in the family just two generations ago. How many slander cases I’ve won against news publications and whatnot?” Her sister gave her a flat look, nodding slowly. “Our parents must have bought those bonds because they intended on going corporate one day- they saw that the lack of help would cause the farm to end with us.” Jackie’s eyes widened as she came to the same conclusion. “Maybe they’d be proud of the empire we built- even if it topples in the end.” Her sister mused with a shrug… Jackie unable to resist smiling.

“Really was fun ‘till it weren’t no more.” she concluded with a sigh. “We either died doing farm work, get bought out by a bigger farm using the same loopholes and nonsense you helped me to exploit…” She paused in thought, and her sister continued-

“Until the ladder topped out- and it all came crashing down.” She said, pulling a folder out of her suitcase and sliding it across the table. “Here’s a report of the company’s general heartbeat. Spoiler alert- it’s not too great. Feel free to take it back to your cell.” She then snuffed the stogie out in the ashtray, throwing it back into the single-cigar box.

Apple Bloom pulled the bow out- once again wrapping her mane in a ponytail. “Before Sally has to get back to work… hug?” she said, just as she finished re-packing her suitcase. “Got a decent drive home ahead of me.”

What followed was a blur after their heartfelt goodbye- and once again, Jackie found herself staring at the springs of the upper bunk in a daze… only this time, she was pretty drunk.

Fwoooo-

“... That straw any good?” Jackie asked numbly, vital corporate documents slid carelessly under her bed.

Treehugger just returned a somewhat dopey-sounding chuckle. “If you’re in a shitty state of mind, the placebo’d never take hold- but my vibes are immaculate, dude!”

Fwoooo-

“... Oh.” Jackie had… nothing to say, really. So she sat there in silence… silently hoping that Granny was still watching, or… or that everything will turn out alright.

Fwoooo-

“You know… it’s really funny.” Her roommate spoke up- “Some powerful corporate mare and a hippy, sharing the same cell?” She asked with a giggle, not caring if her cellmate actually found it funny… and evidently, she didn’t.

After a few moments of silence, Jackie let out a quiet sigh. “I… I have my share of regrets, and… perhaps I could’ve done things differently.” She replied, feeling a heavy weight off her chest to admit that. “I was outta line.”

Fwoooo-
“Wrow. You ponies do have consciousnesses.” Jackie scowled at the mattress springs above her. “Took you long enough to realize.” As the cellmate giggled, Jackie hopped out of bed so she could look up and glare at her directly.

“Now just what the fuck is that supposed to mean you lazy junkie?” Tree Hugger rolled onto her side to look down, glaring right back down at the mare.

She deadpanned- “I’m in here for smoking a plant and criticizing the government for locking innocent ponies up.” Jackie's lips pursed angrily, and while she huffed, the other continued- “You’re in here because you and your cronies made the mistake of thinking that the Police State that your people funded wouldn’t bite you in the flanks.”

Jackie couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the dreadlocked mare above her, taking a step back with a huff while she continued. “You got too greedy- and now it could cost you everything. That’s what you regret.” Her eyes shot open in response… and Jackie couldn’t help but begin to feel… shame. Tree Hugger jabbed her hoof downward towards Jackie- “And now you’re having to face the facts- you’re just some no-good oink-oink two-face robber baron who’s about to get precisely what she deserves.”

Full of class resentment, Tree Hugger scoffed while her cellmate returned wordlessly to her bunk. “Don’t be upset at me- I’m just saying what millions of impoverished ponies are thinking right now, man.” She scoffed, full of frustration- “You just killed my imaginary buzz, bro.” The whole bunk shook and squeaked as she rolled over to get some rest. “Wack..”

Jackie Apple was… mortified. ‘There was a time where my word was as good as gold…” She thought to herself… feeling tears welling in her eyes again. “Is… Do… am I really that hated?”

Despite her best effort… she couldn’t hold these sobs back, turning and crying into her pillow.

Clop-clip! She heard her cellmate jump off the top bunk, landing on her hooves- and felt a hoof run across her back. “I’m sorry I yelled, man… but you gotta know- you’re not very popular right now, friend. Just be careful- that’s all I’m sayin’...” The crying mare didn’t respond, just sobbing meekly into her pillow as Tree Hugger spoke with a sigh- “Fluttershy says you’re a good mare, and I believe her… for what it’s worth.” She said, returning to her bed…

“... Thank you.”

Whiiiirrrrrrr!
…
…
“COME ON!” THUD!

“Leona, what’s the matter?” I heard Celestia yell from behind me- and I just huffed, pointing at the stupid vending machine behind me.

“This fuckin’ thing ate two dollars and the last bag of pretzels is still stuck!” near the vending machines, we had the lounge couches arranged in a circle where we all sat in the same arrangement as upstairs… naturally, so we could all have quick access to snacks. “Would any kind unicorns like to lend me some magic?” I asked as Celestia rose with a giggle, setting her modest pile of pre-packaged cupcakes on the side table, one of which was set between each couch with enough room left to get up.

“Those things have a magic sensor in the chassis, along with the normal alarm that screams obnoxiously if you try rocking it.” Should’ve figured as much. I nodded silently-

“They’re just wedged between the glass and the shelf- on the top row, no less.” I couldn’t even save it by buying something above it. “Come on- you’re a strong unicorn, surely you could pick a vending machine!” I quipped as she laid on her back- side pressed against the front of the under-counter vending machine; on top of the food-and-drink vending machine was the counter with the coffee pot.

“True- but why bother when you can do it the old fashioned way? Less guesswork involved there.” her horse-like arm was actually pretty thin- her hoof crept slowly through the open bottom slot, rising slowly behind the glass. She looked at me with a grin- “How’s my aim?” She asked, and I… I can’t get the sight out of my head. The singular second it took for my brain to process her request was spent in dumbstruck awe. She was laying on her back with her dark purple overcoat sprawling outwards from where it normally draped halfway over her slender barrel like a constellation-inspired piece of artwork, shielding her from the cold tile floor the refreshment corner was surrounded with. The stylish bun she wore her mane with came undone from the jostling movement, causing the strands of her natural mane to flow outwards wildly and freely.

When I recall what happened, I get actual goosebumps and butterflies; the feeling is as strong as when I felt them when I looked down at her ardent, magenta eyes. Her friendly, somewhat-strained smile made me spring into action. Moving around to an angle where I could lean down to guide her, my eyes were drawn to her fine-tailored stitch-patterned burgundy vest; the eye-catching design ended abruptly, the white blouse underneath meant to cover all the way down her barrel… Even writing this, I blush at how her flanks and cutie-marks were half-concealed by the frill-hemmed white garb in a way that absolutely was not deliberately meant to be a tease when you consider the regalia she used to rule with; and my eyes being drawn to her flanks so quickly gave me a brief glance at her breasts, nestled between her legs and mostly covered because of the cat-like way her hindlegs tucked close to her body.

I focused on the bag of pretzels intensely after that brief glance at her non-human tits, hoping dearly that no-one noticed how bad I was sweating in that instant. Eyes on the prize, Leona. “Up, a little left- you just gotta poke the bag.” She adjusted accordingly, tip of her hoof nudging the top of the bag. “Got it! On the money!” With the sound of rustling pretzels and crunkling of waxed paper, the bag of hard snack pretzels crashed to the bottom of the machine! I looked down and muttered- “I sure as shit wasn’t gettin’ my arm up in there- thanks!”

Celestia giggled cheekily as she retracted her arm, rolling over onto her belly when she was out- “Sorry I can’t get your quarter-bits back; talk to the owner of this building if you really need them back.” she smirked as she rose up from her loaf-position, sticking her tongue out playfully. I rolled my eyes, adding the pretzels to all the other bags of chips and snack cakes, held under my wing.

“You kiddin’ me? If I’d tossed a couple of Syndicate quarters in there, they'd be valuable enough to buy another vending machine!” I quipped with a smile; she quickly draped her mane loosely around her shoulders as we walked side-by-side back to the couch, knowing damn well how hyperbolic that was. I felt like a feared lion walking next to a majestic horse, the comparison being more than simply the size of our Earth animal counterparts to our current statures; the casual chit-chat between the couches politely quieted down out of respect as we approached exchanging banter.

“Is that so? Tell me- is your lowest coin denominator valuable enough to include a wheelbarrow for all the bread such value buys?” She exaggerated with a giggle as I stepped aside to let her into the couch-circle first, my chuckling forcing Emmie to lean in closer to Thorax to hear what he was saying. “Griffonian penny-beggars must live in grand palaces with a want of more!” She joked, hopping onto the couch next to Luna as she chatted with Cadence, sitting in Twilight’s seat on the left; the former princess sitting across from Emmie, the empty spot to his left allowing me to sit straight across from Celestia.

As much as I wanted to howl, I forced my cackling laughter to an acceptable level as I dropped my pile of snacks onto my left-side table, saying- “Look, it was never about the coins; it’s the principal!” I spoke as I took my seat. We were all close enough together that I hardly had to raise my voice- and even with my terrible case of CHSS (Can’t Hear Shit Syndrome), and tinnitus, I find it… difficult to lose focus of Celestia’s voice. It was nice to listen to- one of the many reasons she became Equestria’s state-myth, in a way. Celestia, a normal woman shaped by experiences and circumstances, became a revered-and-feared Goddess; and from what I’ve read, that means she pulled off what Mussolini’s Fascist party couldn’t… but enough of those observations.

Celestia covered her mouth to giggle, unwrapping what looked like a Hostess chocolate cupcake, even down to the icing swirl on top. “What? What does that mean?” she asked, wasting no time chomping down on the cupcake; her magic grabbing a Tangelo from the ice bucket under my table, her telekinesis strong enough to crack it open without a tool to do so.

I realized that Emmie was talking to Cadence about fur-care routines and stopped caring immediately, focusing on Celestia as her sister chatted away with Thorax. “Because if I never bothered even trying for that last bag, then…” I paused briefly, conflicted about what I was about to say out loud. “The next time some fatass like me rolls up wanting a bag of pretzels, they’re sure as shit not gonna be able to stick their arm up there!” I blurted out on purpose, dying inside a little with a grin. The snorts, giggles, huffs, and chuckles originated from everyone except Celestia and Emmie, sticking to polite neutrality… but of course, Twilight decided to stroll up quietly at the precise time to hear every word; best case, I’m hoping they take that harsh self-deprecation as a sign of unspoken self-image problems. I wanted to be underestimated and thought of as a genuine non-enemy; and to do that, I had to cultivate the right type of mask for myself here.

The best scam you can pull is the type where the sucker doesn’t realize he’s getting screwed until it’s too late.

She snorted with a dopey grin before crescendoing with laughter as she approached her seat… occupied by Thorax in the moment. Emmie bumped hooves with Cadence to wrap up their conversation, turning to get the seating situation figured out.

“Well, we aren’t all three gonna fit!” I held back my grin, knowing damn well she was more than a little buzzed from the way she spoke. Cadence giggled,

“Nope. Not getting out of this chair.” She said, leaning in her seat with a sigh; much like me, her gut was cinched with a belt around the waistline of her undershirt, which was a frilly white button-up longsleeve blouse… and without the coat for extra coverage, the belt was pointless in hiding our… less-shapely proportions. Evidently she agreed, signified by her horn glowing a pretty blue glow- “Oh, blast this belt- damn the buttons.” she grinned, tossing the belt away and sighing. I can’t imagine that gut helps with the Crystalians' likely Antoinette-esque image of Cadence- and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel better about myself.

Thorax raised their hoof gently as I started undoing my belt… subtly… While it no doubt helped with my subconscious-driven messaging, I couldn’t keep the very-real shameful blush off my face. Thankfully, Thorax provided a good distraction- “I’ve got an idea! You can still sit here, Twilight!”

In a glow of fantastic green flame, he turned into a fluffy persian cat… if the cat's fur was colored with a Thorax-themed paint job, even down to the purple compound eyes. They hopped onto Cadence's lap, resting their arms against the side of the couch with the flexibility to look all around. “Awesome thinkin’!” Twilight hopped onto the couch gleefully, joining Cadence in slowly petting the cats fur. Before anyone else had the opportunity to speak… Cadence spoke up.

“I gotta ask, Leona. Did having Anastasia do to you what having Flurry Heart did…” She pointed a hoof at her gut a few times to get the point across. “To me?” she asked with a playful grin, leaning forward to take her blouse off and toss it unceremoniously to the side. “You gotta learn to love yourself, focus on the people who love and admire you.” I looked off to the side, unable to wipe the creeping smile off my beak as I tossed my coat and belt behind me. “Take it from one happily married woman to another; The less mental energy you put towards hating your body, you’ll feel a lot happier.” I smiled, finally saying fuck it… as did the rest of us, aside from Thorax- who wore a carapace as a suit, I guess.

Casual nudity is still a valid choice for everyday acquaintances in the east and the west; and seeing Celestia bare herself before me casually was… not as thrilling as when I only had part of the picture, somehow.

“Hey, since we have an extra couch, do we wanna move it out of the way?” Thorax the cat spoke up, all of us exchanging glances as a group in thought…

“Hold on ladies…” I spoke up, glancing at Thorax- “Kitty-cat…” I turned away from their beaming grin to look at Emmie. “...Cyclops… I’ve got an idea.”

We decided to rearrange the couches, lining them into an open arch pattern that ensured we could all look at eachother comfortably. In front of the arch was a small area we cleared since Celestia and I were sitting on the outer edges of the arrangement; a small space was cleared in case either of us wished to stand to speak. In the middle of listening to the casual smalltalk and moving the couch into place… I turned my head to see Cadence attempting to sneak up behind me. She had a sly grin, and turned my head with a raised eyebrow.

“Can I help you?” I asked, turning my head forward in bemusement at her antics. I felt my neck hairs raise as she leaned in and whispered softly in a sing-songy tone-

“You gotta crush on Celes-ti-aaa~!” she was quiet, but just loud enough that I heard Emmie snort. She stepped back just as my head swung around, meeting her smug look with a glare.

“Lower. Your fuckin’. Voice.” I enunciated as I stepped forward, leaning in close to her unwavering expression. “You give people the wrong impression makin’ stupid remarks like that.” I growled… only for her to giggle.

“I’m sorry, just making an observation based on where your eyes tend to track.” She said… making me pause and blink. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” Her genuine smile calmed my rage… but what she said still lingered in the back of my mind… I smirked to distract myself from that thought.

“I appreciate what you said to me earlier…” I looked off to the side sheepishly. “It’s been… challenging. I hadn't even realized I’d been getting heavier over time until I just…” I paused when I saw her put a hoof up casually, peering her head over my shoulder.

“We’ll be a minute!” She let the rest of the group know as she led us away to a couch; facing away from the rest of the group sitting next to each other. “I know exactly how you feel. I know how bad the pain can feel.” I rolled my eyes with a grin, assuming her words to be empty… until I saw her gesturing with her hoof between us; she had a look of honest sincerity in her eyes which prompted me to hold on to her hoof gently with my right hand… looking forward with a sigh of resignation. “Spill it; tell me what’s digging at you.” She commanded directly, gaze never leaving my direction; We sat at a coincidentally similar height and apparent weight, due to her alicornhood’s natural growth acceleration.

I just chuckled mirthlessly and stared ever forward. “We’ve known each other for barely an evening, here. What’s your aim? You spill it, why dontcha!” I joked, turning my head with a grin… only to feel a little guilty when it fell dead flat before her unchanging expression of concern. “I-I mean, I-I’m not, j-just-” I looked away as I stumbled over my words like a fucking idiot.

“Because I recognize the pain and disgust you had in your eyes when you made that joke about yourself.” My heart skipped a beat, as I assumed she realized the game I was playing at. “You joke and force yourself to laugh to mask how you really feel.” I let out a silent breath I didn’t know I was holding, looking her in the eyes again. “And… I admit that I giggled before I saw the look in your eye… I’m sorry.” Her apologetic smile disarmed my initial weariness, and I let out a sigh as I leaned back and faced forward.

After a few minutes, I spoke in a flat, soft tone. “When… when I was a little girl, I was so agile that I could pick-pockets mid-air. I stayed active into my teens, and… the time in my life when I felt the best about my body was probably in my mid-twenties…” I decided not to explicitly mention why I was so fit. “Every night my wife would gush over how toned my flanks were… always going on about how sleek, elegant, and perfect my body looked because of the endurance training I’d been going through.” Even though I smiled, I huffed and shook my head. “I’m… pretty sure things started changing not long after Annie was born.” I subconsciously rubbed the side of my belly, remembering when that part wasn’t squishy.

“I see- it sounds like your lifestyle changed as you settled into your current life- exactly like I did.” She said, and I turned to her with a questioning look. “I used to be captain of Canterlot High’s cheerleaders. All the way up until graduation, I was widely considered the best-looking in my grade… just like my husband was a rare intelligent jock until he became a guard.” She smirked, shrugging casually. “I kept up with all my exercise routines until we got married. My husband kept up with his training regimen, all the while I slowly just… lost the will to bother.”

She stared forward with a casual smirk while I looked at her blankly. “Then the self-loathing kicks in as you realize that… that there’s no easy way to go back.” I slowly turned my head forward as she nodded.

“Yep.” She said, not elaborating any further, until I couldn’t take it anymore.

“So then why so cheery about it? I… I’m sorry if this sounds blunt, but why wouldn’t you hate what you did to yourself? Because I hate myself; I’ll tell ya’ that for fuckin’ free.” I asked incredulously, keeping my eyes straight forward anxiously.

“One day I was in the middle of a mental breakdown- and I asked him why he didn’t call me beautiful anymore…” She said as I turned my head slowly to see her massive grin. “He told me that he… that he thought I was getting annoyed because he said it constantly for the first few years.” I stared in disbelief at that ridiculous sounding answer. “And because I was having a mental breakdown and didn’t believe him, I cast that truthterrogation spell- you know the one… and he repeated himself word for word.” The rising treble of her voice sounded like the memory came with a wave of powerful emotions; and I… I believed her story. She turned to look at me with a soft smile- “But, here’s the thing; despite how hideous I thought I looked, my… idiot husband-” We both shared a giggle, “pointed out the simple fact that… that he was always the one who… He uh… shit, I uh-”

“Honey, spit it out. My wife does things to me in bed that’d scare some people.” her sheepish smile changed into a dark grin with a snort.

“He was always the one who would come onto me to bang, rather than vice-versa. I couldn’t think of an elegant way of putting that.” I smiled- that was a perfect compromise because I didn’t give a shit either way. “The bottom line is, I realized I had a happy family, a stable sex life, and a husband who’s seen me as beautiful as the day we met; so then how could I hate myself?” She finished her retort to my earlier question with a smug grin. My beak opened to say something… and no words came to mind.

“... shit.” I muttered to myself dumbfounded, rubbing my chin and looking off to the side. “She’s… she’s slowed down because she knows I’m worried about the baby- but she’s just as touchy-grabby in bed as she’s always been with me.” I… I genuinely hadn’t noticed until I thought about it. While I was still in shock, Cadence laughed as she threw a wing around my back.

“I want you to think very hard about what the small interactions between you two really mean… then immediately afterwards…” She paused for dramatic effect as a misty-eyed smile grew on my face as I silently thought about how often my wife tends to allow me through doors and up stairs first… even though I walk slower up the latter. “I want you to picture enjoying a six-course gourmet meal without the subconscious self-disgust that comes after.” The two of us shared a laugh, as I knew exactly the feeling she was talking about.

“It’s never the meal itself you regret, either.” I mused, and she nodded along with a smile. “Just the upset stomach and worrying about how ashamed my family must feel of me… while my wife’s staring mesmerized out the window and Annie’s passed out in the back seat.” The two of us shared a brief laugh before I quieted down to continue- “Realizing that I let myself go was a tremendous blow to my self esteem, and… well, it… it doesn’t sting as bad right now.” Cadence giggled, and I couldn’t help but smirk.

“I feel ya’. I still don’t find my body like… attractive… but I’m slowly learning to appreciate the appeal of wider curves.” I smiled at that nice thought. “So cool it with the nasty self-deprecation. Jokes should be light-hearted like the one you just told me.” as my laughter slowed down, I realized the irony of this whole thing; I deliberately tried to subtly depict my own self-esteem issues in regards to my weight… only to invite the concern of someone who can actually relate to how I felt.

We looked at each other with wide grins- pulling eachother in for a friendly hug. “Big girls like us gotta look out for one another.” She said as we pulled apart. “We are definitely hanging out… soon.” I agreed sincerely as the two of us got up- since my wooden leg couldn’t bend, I had to take a deep breath to get up fast and panting to catch my breath when I stood.

“See, you have an excuse to let yourself go!” She joked, and I rolled my eyes as I helped her slide off the couch gently. “Thanks.” she muttered with a thankful smirk, and the two of us hesitated walking back for a little longer.

“Honestly? It’s not as awful as you might think.” I tapped it into the ground- “Aside from random phantom pains, losing my ankle and everything else below the knee is something I’m thankful for.” She tilted her head in confusion, and I finished- “The guy who saved my life now wears an eyepatch that’s smaller than the chemical burns beneath it, along with having stumps for wings.” She gasped dramatically-

“No way!” she held a hoof to her mouth in shock like a diva, “He saved your life?” As soon as I nodded, she gave me a grin.

“The day I resolved to definitely become a mother was like something out of a sappy romance novel!” I joked as she held a hoof to my arm- guiding us back down into our seats with wonder in her eyes. “Running out of air saying some sappy final words in a cave in; unaware of the incoming rescue while I clung to my hope to someday be a mother, making a last-minute promise.” I had enough stories between me and Adrian to fill a dime novel with embellishments to hide the horror of the actual event.

“I gotta know the details!” she asked with stars in her eyes, evidently being a dime-novel connoisseur… but neither of us had a chance to say anything.

“Are you two done gossiping yet!?” Twilight yelled across the room, a peal of laughter rising up from behind us… and I wearily looked Cadence in the eye as the two of us prepared to stand back up. She patted my shoulder with a hoof and returned to the group casually walking side-by-side with smiles. I turned and asked quietly-

“You got any nicknames you don’t mind goin’ by?” I asked, causing her to cock an eyebrow before she nodded with a smirk.

“Caddy. Or Cad. One of Flurry Heart’s friends in preschool gave me that nickname- it caught on after a while; now all my friends call me that, basically.” I nodded, more than happy to have a shorter name to call my new gal-pal.

“Much appreciated, Cad.” I said as we both flopped back into our seats.

While I was getting comfortable, Emmie nudged my side calmly. “Cadence and I saw how you were looking at her earlier.” I scoffed in annoyance, rolling my eyes at such a ridiculous idea. “You can’t control your feelings.” he muttered, causing me huff quietly.

“Oh, come on. You know how out of my league she’d be anyway.” The reasonable level of chatter drowned out that whisper… and Emmie chose to keep his mouth shut. “Don’t be ridiculous…” I muttered, taking my seat and shaking my head to mentally focus myself. What am I, sixteen? I don’t have a crush on Celestia; I merely respect and admire her as an intellectual equal. Even if it's because Cadence saw me looking- I refuse to take fault for having an aesthetic appreciation for her shiny white fur coat, the way she chooses to dress and carry herself, or for loving her angelically charismatic voice… I love Celestia as a friend, because I’m happily married to the woman bearing our second newborn at this very moment. I don’t have to testify to prove I’m not into Celestia in that way… and I might have fully believed it, had that whole vending-machine encounter not planted that miniscule of doubt.

“We ready to get this show on the road?” I offered up with confidence, causing the chit-chat to decrescendo into attentiveness. Aside from that little hiccup, I was actually enjoying myself along with everyone else! No one seemed nervous or apprehensive unlike the start of the dinner. Our expensive clothes were tossed unceremoniously to the side as a sign of trust and friendship, on top of being comfier after a large dinner.

“Actually, wait.” Cad spoke up, causing me to cock an eyebrow… “I gotta pee first, I’ll be back!” As she stood up, I figured… well, so did I.

“I’m coming with.” I said, walking beside Caddy with a smirk while Twilight groaned behind us.

“Somepony wake me up when they decide to come back.” She said, knowing damn well that Caddy and I would spend no less than ten minutes chit-chatting by the sink after we wash our hands.

Dunno why we do it; must be a girl-thing, I guess.

Author's Note

Leona is so queer :p
Also... apples :3