Despite her training to always keep her eyes on the road behind the wheel of a motorcar, Syl couldn’t help but glance around bored at a particular city intersection with an infamously long wait time; it was a five-lane part of a pre-syndicate Featherworth cart road that shares the now paved street with buses and electric trams run via a buzzing overhead cables, given the nickname Pigeon Poppers because of the old-infrastructures affect on the city birds. She was just too late to make it through the black and gold streaked traffic light before it changed from yellow to red, where it hung firmly in the center of the wide faded-paint intersection… meaning they’d be waiting for another ten minutes or so here.

They drew eyes in all directions within the newly-acquired hot pink inline-6 Ben’s luxury car with comfy seats, fast-heating system, kerosene engine-warmer, a flat protruding nose underlined with a chrome bumper, and fender-flush headlamps that swept seamlessly along the wheel wells like the rounded-off boot with a spare tire; All the while her boss sat next to her rambling on about roads, traffic signs and their ‘symbolism’, how tacky the beige Model-T in the lane to the right of them looked, and most importantly of all… ‘Eminent do-mane, cocksuckers.’... or something. But indeed, the car with its chrome-capped whitewalls and ‘Yellow Sign’ hood ornament drew lots of jealous and envious eyes from everyone else waiting around in either some Model-T variant or a newer family car, with matte painted wood paneling or the occasional steel body: but this car was paneled with painted aluminum witch had a nice, glossy sheen to it, a far cry from the steel-panel counterparts which added unneeded weight… but she was still unable to flex the engines wonderful purr and let it roar, sitting at the traffic light like everyone else… even the black paneled tram with a gold-yellow roof and window frames was waiting its turn patiently.

Ding!

The light turned yellow, letting those a few lanes over pay attention to make their move as speakers on every building corner crackled to life with a stern but window-muffled, police-sounding voice with a tinny echo to it. ‘Proceed with caution and diligence; deliberate reckless driving will net you jail time, criminal penalties, your license being revoked, and in the most extreme of cases, mandatory wage garnishment, barring your rights to EMT services, or even death- In that case, the charge will be severe disregard for the lives of your fellow Syndicalist.’ As the light ding’d green for that other lane, the Traffic Overwatch felt the need to make a message clear- ‘This is not a recording; it is being spoken as you hear it, so don’t think we’re not watching- watching for the sake of your own Prosperity.’

But despite the police-state nature of Syndicalist Griffonia… Syl had to admit the car was nice, at least; the drive, however, was not. Her pregnant boss spoke up- “You know, public transport is important and all, but I couldn’t fathom having to take one of those every day.” She said in her typical snobbish tone and probably holding her scoff back. “Even when we lived in Manehattan, I refused to even step hoof into those dirty underground subways!” Syl forced a chuckle, pretending to give a shit casually like she usually had to and fiddling with the chain on her necklace idly.

“Wise choice- I’ve heard of ponies getting stabbed or mugged down there.” She replied, despite knowing that this mare probably deserved something worse for her complicit nature. After all, the power vacuum she left is what started that crime wave back in the mid-twenties… allegedly. And that was before the recessions started hitting… but her boss was gonna enforce engagement whether Syl liked it or not.

“Yeah, my point exactly! And they all had those shitty benches to try and keep the homeless away, but the stupid ‘arm rests’ were uncomfortable, even above ground!” She scoffed, continuing on her rant- “I mean, how can a society even stomach letting their once-beautiful infrastructure go to waste and decay like that? See, that’s what happens when you let knuckleheads like my father-in-law…” then she turned her head and went silent abruptly… and Syl opted to enjoy the peac- nevermind. “I love him but… he can be a little… short-sighted, is all. He and all the rest of his generation of old-money businessmen, really; but make no mistake, I am not ashamed of my prestigious heritage, either.” Syl had to clench her beak hard to keep from thinking of the terrible irony of that situation, given what the genealogical records she was supposed to pass off at some point. “In fact, my father was a Baron before I was born, and my grandfather was an honorable knight and shrewd business-stallion!” She exclaimed, aloud as the tram next to them finally was given the go-ahead.

Resisting the urge to call her a literal blueblood, she said- “I read your autobiography- Diamonds are Unbreakable.” correction- Syl was forced to read that autobiography as part of a standard immigration process… and she was sure it was little more than propaganda and embellishments. “Your grandfather was… Obscenely Rich, if I’m not misremembering.” She said, wondering if anyone could forget such an obvious sounding name; all the while, Dee snorted and burst out into a cackle-

“My Pap-pap was the Original Robber Baron, too! Don’t you forget it!” Syl nodded along, as it was previously mentioned, she already read her tale of redemption and second chances; and in the land of do-overs and a rebirth of one's very ego, coming from a morally-shitty background is great PR. “My family wears Unabashed Pieces of Shit with pride; for all the good fortune that came from it, how could I feel guilty, ya know?” She asked rhetorically as Syl thought the opposite sentiment briefly. “It’s just business- there’s winners and losers. Bosses and workers. But make no mistake; my values have long since shifted towards a more populist stance- mainly because it looks great for the media.” Syl nodded as it was finally her turn to go ahead, shifting it into first and easing on the pedal. “When the people win, everyone wins.”

Silence, as she now had the excuse of focusing on the road to zone out… but she was feeling… bold. Try her luck at teasing any useful information out of her. “You seem a little… agitated, I’ve noticed; your tone has become darker than usual, if you don’t mind me saying.” The Dictatress huffed and chuckled.

“Horomones. A little depression. My wife keeps fucking off to Equestria. I dunno.” She shrugged, apparently satisfied at the non-answer; all the while Syl gave her a quick side-glance to gauge her expression and was unable to recognize the flat look on her boss's face. “Can I be honest with you? You’re the best damn secretary I’ve ever had.” Syl blinked in mild surprise as she made it through the intersection, the sun flashing in her face giving her a decent reason why. She smiled as they went down the 4-lane old red-brick wrought-iron town avenue, saying-

“All part of the job, Ma’am. I pride myself in what I do.” Was her only response as she listened closely to her boss yapping on, even as she took in all the old shops with overhead apartment buildings that flanked either side of the road.

“Exactly. You remind me of my childhood butler, Reginald- and believe me, that’s a massive compliment.” Syl nodded with a smile, her professionalism overriding the urge to roll her eyes. “You’re discreet. You listen well. You’re smart, you’re really smart- and what I mean by that, is you haven’t betrayed me or my family.” Syl nodded along as she drove with that dainty smile, yet unable to keep from itching her neck-feathers in a show of slight anxiety. “I don’t want you to listen anymore- I want your advice on something; and I expect your constant discretion. Understood?” Syl took a breath and steeled her nerves, thankful that they seemed to be approaching a red light before they got on the exit ramp that led over the old city walls.

“I understand completely.” Was her only reply as she swallowed dryly, tapping on the steering wheel and focusing on an old Syndicate propaganda poster from the early days. It read- ‘Don’t be Stupid, be a Smartie!’ Underneath that was a picture of Diamond Tiara pointing at the viewer with a grin, wearing an everyday vest and shirt with an old ‘Yellow Sign’ armband, with the final message- ‘Come and join the SYNDICATES party!’ “What can I help you with?” She asked with finality, regretting the fact that she had to join the Syndicates party… all for the sake of her home country, Equestria. The Crown which had brought so much good throughout history was in a rough patch- all because of these Syndicate assholes.

“Here’s the situation, don’t ask for the how or why.” Tiara began sternly, looking out the window as the light changed, lifting them high above the city streets to surmount the old wall. “But all you need to know is that because of our dragon war plans being pushed back for diplomatic reasons, we’ll be sorely missing out on a large influx of gold which I’d been anticipating.” They passed over the now-useless wall to go down the ramp, which hovered over a public park kept clean by constant local vigilance, lined with signs that promised hefty fines and punishment for littering. “Every bank in Griffonia is about 20% lighter in gold than they ought to be right now.” Syl couldn’t keep her eyes from shooting open at that revelation, giving her a small side-eye as she stopped at the light at the bottom of the ramp, leading into the tall urban apartment buildings, along with the occasional parking garage and crossed by various tram-lines. “Any ideas on how to handle that situation gracefully would be appreciated- but most of all, I need gold… and I’ve been racking my brain for the past week trying to figure out a solution.” DT went silent- so Syl assumed that was her cue.

She didn’t have to drive down the two-lane road before she pulled at another stoplight, taking a deep breath in thought. ‘I try to keep my mouth shut, because I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing.’ She tilted her head side-to-side in thought, pursing her beak. ‘Fuck… if I give her bad advice, then what? I don’t have an answer, because that situation is insane! It’d cripple the trust in her economy if that got out, SWEET CELESTIA!’ She took a deep breath, focusing on a large painted mural on one of the apartment blocks. There was an attractive griffon woman in a stylish black military outfit, straddling a large brass cannon like riding pony-back. The bold text highlighting the upper frame of the wide mural yelled ‘Join the Crew!’, the right half of the mural being a map of the northern hemisphere, dotted with eyeballs to represent the Syndicates worldwide military holdings, domestic and abroad. Syl could only shrug, resisting a full-blown shudder.

“The Minotaurs are known for their bank, and their economy’s floundering along with Equestria.” She said, regretting her choice when she saw her boss turning away in thought from her peripheries.

“Truth be told, I feel like a full-scale invasion of Minos would send the wrong kind of message to the dragons, considering their similar status’ as quote-unquote unconquerable.” The mare shrugged with a grin- “The rumors say that their bank is a massive underground complex of tunnels spanning beneath Minos where they can collapse their gold in if they’re outta options… but what if they’re bluffing?” She clicked her tongue, rubbing her hooves together with a faint giggle. “The Minotaurs were second to adopt train technology, literally right after the Griffons; perhaps in order to replace an ancient system of crumbling tunnels destroyed by plate movements, all with the increased safety of train-travel through their lands? Their gold has to get from one bank to another somehow, right? BOOM- TRAINS!” She clacked her hooves with a cackle, “Ah-ha! A-Oh, here! Right!”

SKRRRRRRRRRT!
AAAAOOOOOOGAAAAA!

The tiles squealed a little as they swerved into the White Palace drive-thru lane, forcing some guy in an SMC wood-paneled truck to slam on his brakes and press the side-mounted horn lever. He yelled something muffled by the glass as Diamond Tiara nonchalantly picked up the dash-mounted CB radio with a candlestick mic made of ivory, matching the white interior of the car- “I HAVE THE FULL AUTHORITY TO DETAIN AND ARREST! GET BACK IN YOUR CAR NOW!” Her voice crescendoed, causing Syl to flinch as her right ear popped slightly.

Thunk!

She didn’t have to look back to see the door slamming shut, even able to hear the guy as he backed out to try his luck someplace else. A wise choice. “Sheeesh, guy didn’t have to leave! I told him to settle down, not fuck off!” She ranted as the Model-A in front of them finished their order quickly. “He probably didn’t see the government plates until it was too late, it happens!” Syl shrugged as the engine revved towards the large standing microphone and glancing at the speaker-topped menu board.

‘Welcome to White Palace, what can I get you today?’ The cashier spoke through the tinny sounding speaker as Syl’s boss leaned over her to yell-

“Fifty-five hay-sliders, fifty-five potato fries, fifty-five cheese sticks, and a strawberry shake!” She leaned back and muttered- “Believe me, that’s the most they’ve ever agreed to make for me.” She muttered before asking- “Syl, you want a slider or a soda or somethin’? I don’t mind paying.” A little dazed, Syl could only nod politely as she turned towards the microphone-

“Root beer and a small fry, please.” Syl didn't want to refuse out of politeness- but at the same time, she wasn’t hungry at all. ‘I gotta keep my mouth shut… but… holy fuck.’ All in one conversation, she’s discovered Griffonia’s achilles heel, all the while she’s forced to help them plot. ‘I can’t wait to be home.’

“Just like that- I have a month’s supply of White Palace in the freezer, and no more drive-thru until then!” Her boss cheered as Syl nodded along simply. “Even better- Leona’s not there to nag me about avoiding ‘regular experiences’ and shit!”

—

“Sunrise.” Was my wakeup call, followed by being poked with a hoof. “Casanova’s incapacitated and passed out; I got some information out of her ramblings.” I let out a huff, rubbing my eyes with my air-chilled hands to help myself wake up as I crawled towards the fire silently. “And full disclosure, Filly Casanova is-”

“That waitress you gave a wad of cash to that one time, I remember… well, I dreamt about it, anyway.” She nodded silently as I stood up, feeling a throbbing in my splinted and slung left wing. “The stars align well in this place, I’ve been told. Not a fuckin’ clue what that means.” I said as I cracked my neck and basked in the small fire we had left.

She replied dryly- “That’s oddly similar to something she told me- ‘The stars are the satellites of the Gods! That’s how they see their eyes!’” I didn’t even turn away from the fire, simply staying quiet as I awaited further- “She said that with no pretext and no context, waking up and blurting random stuff throughout- but I can tell you how she got to this point, I think.” I nodded up and down, looking at the slowly-brightening sky and shutting my eyes.

“Yeah, she’s definitely fucked up. Blacking in and out, probably doesn’t know what she’s saying most of the time.” Starlight hummed in response, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “That’s like trying to tell history through word-of-mouth folklore with how much the crank distorts the original vision.” I mused airily, feeling a bit out of it myself from the small amount of uncomfortable sleep I got. “What’d you piece together, and is she still alive?” Truth be told, I wouldn’t mind it if that cunts heart exploded already.

“Amazingly, yes. She’s been eating raw pinecones and drinking sap for sustenance, and doesn’t remember when she got away from the rest of her crew.” I turned back to see the prisoner tied to the back shed post and cocked an eyebrow- some of those pinecones are as big as my head, and they look like they’re made of solid wood. Those ones are rare, but they fall off the dying ones occasionally. “She eventually stumbled across this cabin and lit the fireplace for warmth before falling asleep.” I continued nodding along with this batshit insane tale, unable to keep from chuckling when I heard- “When she woke up, the room was engulfed in flames, and decided that ‘that’s not good’- and decided to wait around for us.” I couldn’t help but shake my head at just… everything.

“I… You’re doing a fantastic job, Starlight; I’m not just saying that because I’d be fucked without you here.” I turned to look her in the eye as I said- “I’m sorry if I yell at you sometimes- you mean well, and it’s something I’m trying to reign in.” She blinked twice and seemed faintly taken aback. After a few moments of silence, I said- “I-I know it seems random, but it’s been on my mind. I never should’ve yelled at you that one time.” I returned to the fire, adding in another split log so we could catch up.

She gave me what I hoped was a genuine smile and half-shrugged- “It’s alright. It happens, I barely remember it.” I nodded in appreciation as I reached out to bump her gun-gauntedled hoof… that’s when our hostage blurted out from the back of the shed, startling me-

“I bet you weren’t gonna mention the fact that Trixie talked to you about this earlier? That’s the only reason you’re apologisiiiiing!”She sing-songed the end while I forced my tail down and approached her with a scowl- “Or as you called her in private before, Trixie the Trap!” By the time I had my fist around that cunts scrawny neck, I heard Starlight yell-

“WHAT!?” I turned back to Starlight while the methhead-cunt struggled in my grip, the cauterized holes in her cheeks revealing a constant snarl behind that faintly-struggling smile.

“I WAS STONED, MY WIFE WAS EGGING ME ON TO MAKE THOSE JOKES WITH HER!” I defended myself while she approached with a snarl of her own; it was slowly becoming evident to me this mare's purpose in biting me like a savage earlier. “It’s not like your wife ever found out or heard it! Just me, Adrian, and Roscoe!” I recalled the event to the best of my abilities, not knowing the extent to which our prisoner might be able to call me out- I turned to her and pointed at her, thrashing her neck into the back pole- “And if you think you can just invade my mind and air my dirty laundry, you’re FUCKING mistaken!” In a swift movement, I balled my left fist and held on to her right cheek with my other.

CRACK!
“MMMMFFFFFHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUMMMMMM!”

The tied-up mare cried out in pain as my left fist collided with her jaw, misaligning a few of her front teeth as others got knocked out of place. “YOU’RE NOT EVEN WORTH WASTING A GAG CLOTH ON!” I made sure her jaw was laterally shattered, rendering even moving the broken implement an exercise in extreme will from the blinding pain. “AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHO’S WATCHING YOU THROUGH YOUR DISGUSTING WORMS EITHER! SPARE ME THE SUPAHVILLAIN SPEECH!” I reared my backhand-

SLAP!

She fell to her side while still tied to the pole with a crying groan as I turned around to look Starlight in the eye- where she stood frozen with my knife in her magic.

Clang!

The fact that she dropped it when I looked her in the eye told me everything I needed to know. I shook my head, unable to keep from shuddering- “You and her talked more than you were letting on.” She nodded while looking off to the side, and I didn’t have the power to maintain my normal level look. “I… I’m hurt. Immensely.” I choked out as I punched the sheds wall- “YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND, WHAT THE FUCK!?” I yelled, storming out of the shed with tears in my eyes, preferring to stare out into the forest than showing them my face. “You listened and gave a shit when no one else would; and I wasn’t lying! I’m sorry!” I turned to her with a look of fury in my eyes, meeting her glare from across the fire-pit. “You really trying to start a vendetta over this shit? YOU’RE REALLY GONNA TAKE THAT JUNKIE CUNT’S WORD OVER MINE!?” I ranted, gesticulating angrily at Cassie while she huffed, approaching me across the firepit.

“Even if she’s lying, I don’t deserve to be disrespected.” My gaze softened as she spoke- “I don’t deserve to be yelled at over the phone over a misunderstanding; and dammit, it’s impolite to refer to sex workers as ‘whores!’” I couldn’t help but sigh, rubbing my temple at the sheer audacity. “I don’t care if you’re breaking balls or whatever, but this thing of ours is built on mutual respect- these are your words, Leona.” I nodded with a flat look, sitting on my flanks to think.

“I… I’ve never met a prostitute who objected to being called a ‘who-uh,’ especially considering how much cash I always have to tip out.” I shrugged, looking her in the eye- “Starting there, what’s the big deal? So we can both return to our families alive, let’s talk.” I commanded wearily then tossed another cut log onto the fire to keep it from petering out, thankful to be able to sit on my heavy outer coat; taking her seat on the opposite side of the smokey campfire.

“That’s the problem- they’re gonna sit there and take it in silence because it’s you!” I blinked in thought despite her voice rising in a crescendo. “They’ll suffer the indignity because they wouldn’t dare go against the Bosses choice of words, lest it cost them their paycheck!” I rolled my shoulders and tipped my head side to side in thought. “It’s an archaic and deeply disrespectful term, like Retard or Lunatic; and it all circles down to respect!” She reiterated, and I began seeing her point here. “So out of respect for myself, those close to me, and the workers I sympathize with greatly- please take those words out of your vocabulary.” After a few moments, I huffed with a faint smirk and met her stern gaze-

“I recognize your point. I can live with that.” I replied with a nod, reaching over the smokey fire for a hoof-bump- “I’m sorry for egging you on during that phone call, about the letter Celestia sent you that one time. I was way outta line, and it won’t happen again.” She finally smirked, and I bumped her hoof with a grin. “If we can settle this without violence, I’d be very appreciative; and to the most recent revelation, I apologize for disrespecting your wife.” The last thing I wanted from this disaster was a full-blown war… and I mean war as in the Godfather kind of way. “Be glad you’re a made mare- most wouldn’t get the chance to apologize.” Starlight nodded.

“The rules are rules- I’m glad we could call it a truce, though. You’re the boss of this family- as your subordinate, I expect better.” I let out an indignant huff, pointing a finger at her-

“Don’t get cute with me!” Then I gestured for her to follow along into the shed, grabbing the pistol I’d left next to my belt and heading into the room. “You- get up.” I said, undoing the rope that bound her to the back wall post and letting her struggle to stand, front and back hooves bound together with rope; my pistol constantly trained on her head, I walked backwards as she tried to hop-walk towards me.

“KNIFE!” Starlight yelled, reminding me to lunge for my knife just as she made a move to. “Nice one!”

“OH! Good call!” I gripped the back of our prisoner by the back of her pissed-off looking head, pointing the knife at one of her eyes- “Girl, you’re trying to piss me off today, you know that?” I turned to Starlight- “Grab a shovel; we’re planting this cunt in the ground so her friends don’t even find her.” She grabbed it in her telekinesis without even flinching- which seemed to bode well for us.

I put my heavy outer coat and parka back on as Starlight tossed a few more logs onto the fireplace, and securing the shovel to her side with some rope, she held her Derringer with its one shot left in her magic; I pointed my pistol at the back of her head from behind, all the while Starlight stood a few feet ahead and off to the side, using telekinesis to keep the pistol trained on the cunt without even looking back at her, only sparing the occasional glance; as we left the clearing and went into the forest, stepping over branches and roots atop the white, powdery bottom layer with stalks of grass poking through.

At some point when Glimmer looked back, she huffed with a grin. “What shit luck, huh? You had it all, and you lost it all.” She shrugged after her simple taunt; our prisoner stopped, so I bashed her on the back of her skull with the butt of my pistol and making her slam into the ground. I couldn’t help but grin.

“See, I don’t really believe in good or bad luck.” The broken-jawed mare growled impotently as she stood up under gunpoint. I plucked one of the few remaining cigarettes out of my pack, lighting one and offering another to Starlight as the bound mare struggled to stand. “All this cunt is, is some waitress who tried to grab the world by the balls and ya’ fumbled it in the end zone.” I shrugged as we resumed our smug trek into the woods- “This world is built on Virtu and Fortuna- the gods may get in our minds and can tell us what strings to pull without us even knowing it; everything else comes down to our waking choices, and Virtu is the wit that can occasionally outsmart Fortuna.” While our prisoner gave me a look of blind hatred, Starlight cocked an eyebrow- and I grinned, puffing my cigarette into Cassie’s face.

“Fortuna is the river which floods irregularly, damaging villages in the incidental floodplanes; Virtu is the intellect required to build dams and drainage systems to prevent unnecessary loss of life.” I took another puff as we made our way down a small incline. “This is one of many cases where Fortuna and Virtu host their liaison; Fortuna has given you some unknown portion of my thoughts and memories like a smash-and-grab robbery. All the while, my Virtu tells me you’re a fucked-up junkie looking to sow chaos for some unknown reasons or benefactor.” I couldn’t help but shrug as she rolled her eyes pathetically, rejecting the one Truth of this reality which I held dear. “It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not; The sun doesn’t give a shit that you need its nutrients to survive, crops don’t give a fuck if their failure causes great famine, and whatever Gods are watching are doing so of their own interests we can only guess at. My birth is proof that they suffer from the bounds of Fortuna, and must come up with their own incomprehensible Virtu in order to survive and keep their influence on the Cosmos at large. Fortuna favors no one, it is what it is; conversely, Virtu is the skill that sets us apart from the non-sapient animals in how it allows us to adapt in real time.”

I found myself having to breathe heavily after that small speech, finishing off my cigarette and tossing the butt out in the snow as we approached another clearing; for some reason, my heart was racing, and I decided here was a good spot to catch our breath. “Fuckin’ junkie, have you even been listening?” I was mainly yapping on for Starlights sake, as I was considering keeping her on an ocean-wide leash if we got out of this alive.

I thumped her on the back of the head, causing her to faceplant into the snow. “Oh! Glimmer, here’s good.” I took a few steps back from the mare, keeping my pistol trained on her head. “Use your magic, untie her front hooves and toss her the shovel.” She tilted her head in confusion as she undid her forehoof rope and tossed her the shovel- and when Cassie looked at me with a look of grinning disbelief with those gritting teeth, I reiterated by gesturing with the gun. “Pick up that shovel, don’t try anything stupid. You think we’re diggin’ that hole?” I had a smug grin as Starlight and I both stood a couple feet back from her as her gaze drew back-and forth. “The ground’s a little hard, but just use some of that ol’ crackhead strength you’ve got in you.” Cassie spat some blood at the ground, painting a small red splotch in front of her while she grabbed the shovel and sat on her flanks.

“OUU ‘INHH HUH H’OLD BOTHHAHHSH MEH!?” She barked out suddenly while pounding her chest with her free hoof, making me smirk at the fact that she could barely talk with that broken jaw. “IHH WHASH MMEHHH FOHH MUH! FUH CWISHTALA!” I looked into Starlight’s eyes for a brief moment, and she summed up my thoughts nicely.

“The fuck is she on about? What’s she saying?” I snorted and rolled my eyes, saying-

“Who gives a shit?” I turned my gaze back to Cassie and said- “SHUT YA FUCKIN’ MOUTH!”

Clang!

My eyes shot open as everything seemed to happen at once; Cassie took advantage of those few seconds where Starlight and I were sharing that quick exchange to swing around and bash her shovel into Starlights Ushanka- topped head; I instinctually looked over to her and felt two hooves colliding with my chest, all of this happening within mere seconds. “SHOOT THE CUNT!” I barked out as she started prancing through the woods, her rear hooves freed somehow as she managed to jump over a bush!

We both darted in chase, and I could see Starlight had blood leaking down the side of her face, forcing her to clench that eye shut as we chased this zig-zagging cunt. We were weaving through and around bushes and trees, trying to be mindful of my step as I waited for the right moment to line up my shot, the pistol tucked beneath my wing for a quick draw.

POP!

“FUCK!” I heard Starlight swear as she tripped going up a snowbank she probably missed while aiming her derringer, recovering after only a few crucial seconds as I continued the pursuit; and after a few more yards, I had my chance as she was climbing up a steep snowbank in a straight line. I drew my gun and aimed the sights calmly, holding it by the forend.

BANG!

The cartridge popped out as I saw a spray of blood shoot from her head, causing her to stumble over some great pine roots. “What the fuck!?” She got up and bolted just as I stopped to catch my breath, stumbling over her hooves like a shot deer. “I hit her, didn’t I?” I asked Starlight, still in shock as she approached me from the side and shoved a hooffull of cold snow onto her wound.

“Yeah, you did! There was a friggin’ geyser of blood and everything!” She recalled as I stood up to speedwalk over the crest, unsure of what to expect… and feeling the dread set in when she was nowhere to be seen. “She’s gotta be in shock or s-s-somethin’!” Starlight shivered towards the end as we felt a gust of chilly wind from atop this ridge.

“Th-there’s some blood!” I remarked, the two of us making it to the trails end after only a few feet; the field before us was destroyed by various footprints… meaning we lost her. “What the fuck! It’s like she vanished or somethin! Wearin’ a purple fucking coat!” I punched the snow angrily, genuinely feeling unsure of where to go.

Starlight put a hoof over my shoulder as I sat down, staring out at the snowy region slack-jawed. “Fuck ‘er. She’ll either bleed out from the piece of skull dangling from her scalp, or she’ll crash somewhere in the snow, totally helpless.” After a few moments of breathing heavily, I scowled at the forest itself.

“Fuck it- you’re right. Let’s get back to the cabin.” I turned around, intent on following our footprints back. “Follow my lead- I know what I’m doing.” I said, not paying attention to my step-

Snap!

“FUCK!” I barked as I tumbled down the small snowbank. “WHY ME!?” I yelled into the uncaring cosmos. By the time I was able to stop, I was growling to myself- “Fucking CUNT!” I yelled, realizing that the snowshoe on my wooden leg had completely snapped, leaving only a metal nub with a small surface area.

Thankfully, Starlight was by my side to help me stand up afterwards. She’s a psychopath, and she plotted to kill me over an insult; yet, I couldn’t help but recognize the ultimate usefulness of keeping her around. If you’re useful to me, I’ll forgive a slap to the cheek- that’s all I’m saying… but the main reason I bring this up, the more and more I realize: that thing she said about me being too afraid to say No to my wife?

The more I think about it, the more I see how spot-on she was. And that scares me. It scares me a lot.

Author's Note

Thanks so much for reading! If you liked it, please consider my Ko-Fi link in my profile description, but likes and comments and stuff are good enough, too :3

Thank uuuuu :3