In the quiet town of Peopleburg, Anon went about his usual business.
That being of course planning chaos.
Chucking to himself in his best Beavis impression, Anon rigged up a large bottle of off brand cola and mentos to a string based release system.
It was fairly simple, a cola bottle with a hole cut in it, a tube angled 45 degrees facing the locker door with a cork in one end and the other end being inserted into the bottle was filled with mentos, being held above the cola via a string.
Once the string was pulled the mentos would fall in and the reaction would make the cork pop out and a volcano of foam would cover whoever was standing in front of it.
Making sure the towel and spare shirt he duct taped to the roof of the locker were secured, he carefully closed the locker. Making sure the tape he used to connect the string to the door was secure.
Making a quick getaway Anon watched from around the corner, waiting for his victim to arrive.
Blissfully unaware, Snips and Snails walked to their lockers to get some books for their maths class in ten minutes.
Anon made sure to note down their timetable for maximum efficiency.
While Snips opened his locker without any trouble, Snails almost fell over as he was soaked by Anon’s trap.
Watching in pure bliss as the boy was forced to rush to the bathroom, using the towel and shirt Anon has secretly provided to get changed.
Anon followed, staying outside the bathroom and waiting patiently.
“Morning Nonny” Pinkie greeted, hugging her boyfriend from behind while he focused on watching the boys bathroom door.
“Morning Pinks, how’s my favourite girl doing?” He asked.
“I don’t know, I haven’t seen Principal Celestia today yet~” she teased.
Temporarily turning his head back to face her. Anon gave Pinkie the ultimate resting bitch face as a response to her snarky comment.
“I told you that was a phase” Anon said, sounding a little betrayed that she brought it up.
Simply giggling as a response Pinkie planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Love you Nonny but I’ve got Home Economics. See you later alligator” she said before skipping off to class.
Rolling his eyes, Anon couldn’t help but chuckle.
Soon Snails exited the boys bathroom in shame.
On his new shirt, big bold letters were written.
“I touch myself”
Howling to himself, Anon almost fell over from laughing. Grabbing his sides he tried to catch his breath while still laughing. Oddly enough, it sounds like Mark Hamill’s Joker.
“Anon” a stern voice said.
Looking up, Anon saw Sunset Shimmer standing over him. Arms folded in disappointment.
“Hey Sunny” he said, panting to catch his breath.
“Don’t you ‘hey Sunny’ me, why do you think that’s funny?” The reformed bully asked.
“Because it’s just facts isn’t it?” Anon asked.
Getting off the floor Anon walked to English class with Sunset.
“So what are you and Pinkie doing tonight?” She asked.
Confused, Anon raised an eyebrow.
“Tonight?” He asked.
Looking back at him with similar confusion, Sunset continued.
“Tonight, yours and Pinkie’s one year anniversary?” Sunset said, trying to jog his memory.
Anon just stared blankly at her, none of this ringing a bell.
“You forgot!?” Sunset snapped just as they reached the classroom.
“Is it really a big deal? It’s a day, we’re dating, what’s the difference from any other day?” Anon asked. Not seeing the problem.
“Of course it matters! This is a big day and Pinkie’s probably got you something already” Sunset explained.
With the gravity of the situation hitting him Anon’s face dropped.
“Oh shit” Anon said as they took their seats.
After school, Sunset dragged Anon to the Flim Flam brothers pawn shop.
“Why are we here?” Anon asked.
“You can find anything in here, and we’re running out of time,” Sunset explained, “now think, what does Pinkie like?” She added.
Thinking as he went through the shop Anon stopped at one product.
The product in question, a giant plush alligator almost looked back at him with its big emotionless purple eyes.
“Ok this is way too easy” he said, picking it up.
“Just this please,” Anon said, putting it down on the counter.
“That’ll be fifty dollars” Flim said.
“Fifty dollars!?” Anon said in surprise.
“Anon just pay for it” Sunset said tiredly, knowing a rant was incoming.
“For fifty dollars I could buy the Asian slave who made it, ship him over here and get him to make this myself!” Anon ranted.
“Ok ok. Forty nine dollars and ninety nine cent” Flim offered.
Instantly switching from outraged to victorious.
“Deal” he said.
Leaving the shop Anon and Sunset made their way to Sugarcube Corner.
“Was it really worth all that fuss?” Sunset asked.
“Every penny is a victory for the consumers,” Anon explained, holding the giant alligator plushy.
Entering the bakery the duo made their way to the counter.
“Evening Mrs Cake” Anon greeted.
“Oh hello Anon, Sunset…” she greeted before seeing the massive alligator.
“Erm, Anon, what’s with…” she asked, pointing at the plushy.
“It’s for Pinkie” Anon explained.
“Aw, that’s so sweet, she’s not here but I can tell her you were here” Mrs Cake offered.
“No thanks, it’s a surprise, it’s out anniversary tonight. I’ve just come to pick up her favourite cake” Anon explained.
The milf cooed at his explanation.
“Oh, I remember my last anniversary,” she said, remembering it fondly.
“Really? What did you and Mr Cake do?” Sunset asked.
“Well, we closed down the bakery early, then we made the twins,” she explained casually.
Blushing, Sunset tried to cover her face to hide the embarrassment.
“Why didn’t I think of that?” Anon asked himself.
“Anon no” Sunset scolded.
Halfway across town, Pinkie and Rarity were shopping in the mall.
“So Pinkie darking, anything special planned for the big night?” Rarity asked inquisitively.
Blankly staring at her friend, Pinkie tilted her head.
“Big night?” She asked.
“Oh darling don’t worry I’m just curious, although I’m going to need all the saucy details afterwards” Rarity said, giggling lightly.
When Pinkie didn’t join her giggle Rarity almost frowned.
“Pinkie, you DO know it’s your anniversary tonight. Right?” Rarity asked.
As soon as those words came from Rarity’s mouth, Pinkie’s gravity defying hair went completely straight, dropping down and covering her hair.
“Oh no! I’ve completely forgotten! I’ve been so busy with work and helping my family I’ve forgot! Agh! I’m the worst girlfriend ever!” Pinkie panicked.
“Pinkie, calm down, we can sort this out. And I know exactly where to go~” Rarity said trying to calm her down before gaining a devilish smile.
Turning Pinkie around Rarity marched her towards a shop on the other end of the mall.
Victoria’s Secret
After nightfall, at Anon’s house, our protagonist sat waiting for Pinkie to arrive.
Having set the table, lit some candles and put the roses that Sunset bought in a vase he drummed his fingers.
Hearing a knock on the door Anon almost fell over before he answered it.
Opening the door Anon saw Pinkie standing in a big trench coat.
“Hey Pinks, happy anniversary” Anon greeted.
“Happy anniversary Nonny” she said walking into the house.
“So, I’ve got dinner in the oven, do you want a dri-“ Anon began before being interrupted.
“Now come to Pinke!” She yelled, throwing off her trench coat, jumping on to Anon.
“And then we fucked on the floor” Anon said, closing the story book.
Looking down at the seven pastel coloured kids sat around his chair Anon gave them a warm smile.
“So kids, how do you like the story?” He asked.
They looked at each other in confusion before looking back to Anon.
One of them, a girl with pink hair and light green skin raised her hand.
“Yes Rock-Pun?” Anon asked.
“Ok I know that story is about you and mom, but what about everyone else? How did you start dating their moms?” Rock-Pun asked.
“Yeah!” The other six asked.
“That’s a story for another day, but the spoiler is I got drunk and woke up in bed with them,” Anon explained.
The mane 7 looked on from the sofa on the opposite end of the room. Each of them thinking the same thing.
“Why did we have sex with this guy?”
“Hey I still have that underwear” Pinkie said, piping up as she remembered that night.
