Pinkamena loses her mind

by PinkamenaGoneCrazy

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Cheese Sandwich, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 3633

Pinkamena slowly realizes her life is nothing but a script.

April 20th, 6:09. Wednesday.

Pinkamena wonders how her life got to this point and wonders if she’s even real. It soon begins to drive her mad and even breaks the fourth wall. What will happen now?

WARNING if you haven’t noticed, this is an alternate version of Pinkamena with her own backstory. I do multiple AUs sometimes however.

This is also my first book so help would be appreciated! :)

Might change tags if needed.

Art by me :)

Published 2023-09-17 18:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-09-19 11:39:38 UTC

“Brooding today aren’t ya?”

April 20th, 9:06 AM.

It’s now 3 hours after Pinkamena’s Epiphany, she felt much more relaxed now and decided to forget about it. She got up, getting ready for the day. Pinkamena looked into her mirror, straight hair, dull pink color palette, Cliff-faced as usual. Everypony tells her she should smile more and that it’d look better or cuter, but she didn’t care. If you’re lucky enough you’ll at least get a smug smile out of her, but that was the closest you could get. She soon heads down stairs to see Mrs. Cake playing with the cake twins. Those two were adorable, they make her happy sometimes, despite her not showing it much.

“Good Morning Pinkamena” Mrs. Cake greeted Pinkamena. She said the same to her and began to head towards the kitchen but was stopped by Mrs. Cake. “I almost forgot to ask, but can you make some deliveries?” Mrs. Cake smiled sweetly at Pinkamena.

‘Deliveries? She usually never asks me to do that.’ Pinkamena thought, but she couldn’t just say no to her employer and landlord. “I don’t mind.” Pinkamena replied, she headed to check the delivery chart.

-Cheerilee at the school
-Carousel Boutique
-The Golden Tree Library.

‘Only three? I guess it makes sense’ Pinkamena thought. It was her first delivery. It’s still odd how she had to deliver sweets. Usually Mr. Cake does that stuff, but she just sighed, they were busy with the new foals. She didn’t take too much time thinking about it, she had some treats to deliver and she wasn’t going to disappoint.

— Outside of Sugarcube corner —

It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds singing, flowers blooming. Foals playing or staying near their parents. It was probably the perfect spring day. Too perfect. Pinkamena had seen this scene before, over and over. She dragged her hooves, she was probably one of the only out of place ponies. Everypony here was so colorful and happy while she was dull and-

Suddenly her thoughts were cut off by bumping into something. She soon shook her head, looked up and scowled at them. Only to realize it was. . Cheese? She blinked confused. “W-what are you doing here?” She exclaimed, more confused than annoyed.

“What? Can’t I visit my best friend?” Cheese smiled with good intent.

She rolled her eyes “oh, yeah, that.” She and Cheese weren’t friends, or what she said.
They were like opposites. Cheese was a happy, out-going, joking party pony who if he made a mistake, he would laugh it off and joke around. Pinkamena, however, was a mare who didn’t like to be messed around with, some could say she’s uptight or a perfectionist, but that’s simply how her family taught her. If she made a mistake, she would get mad and upset.

However, Cheese travels around the world, almost. Why would he be here? Usually that never happens. “So what do you want?” She said, still in a very annoyed tone.

“Well, my cheesy sense told me somepony was feeling upset! And I think I found it!” He grinned while she scowled again.

“Ugh, Cheese, I don’t have time for this!” She raised her voice. “What’s the real reason you’re here?”.

Cheese frowned “I just wanted to spend time with you Mena. .” He said with a genuine tone. That, made her a bit bad, but she didn’t show it.

“Well I’m sorry to inform you, but I’m busy. So you wasted your time” Pinkamena was obviously aggravated

Cheese frowned and groaned. ”You don’t have to be so brooding, do you?” She rolled her eyes and trotted away. She didn’t have time for this. She wasn’t about to disappoint Mrs. And Mr. Cake. Or waste her time on some pony who wastes his time with stupid emotions.

She had a delivery to make of course, that’s what she was meant to do. . . What she’s. . .scripted to do. Oh great Celestia, there were those feelings again from this morning. She trotted along, begging herself to ignore it. Muttering to herself, “you’re not a character in a book, you’re not scripted to do anything, you’re fine.”

“You are not a puppet, Pinkamena Diane Pie”

“Here they come, those feelings again!”

These feelings make her sick. These feelings make her want to vomit. They make her feel upset. They make her feel like the world is going monotoned. That was exactly what she hated. Why was she feeling like this? What did she do wrong? She then snapped out of it. She had a job to do. She wasn’t about to disappoint Mrs. And Mr. Cake.

She walked towards the school, knocking on the door. No response. She was a bit confused but the door seemed unlocked. “Hello?” She peeped in. Cheerilee looked surprised. “Oh! Pinkamena! What a surprise! I didn’t expect to see you here. What are you doing here?” Cheerilee questioned the rather shorter pink pony. “Oh, just taking care of things for Mrs. And Mr. Cake.” Cheerilee’s confused look turned into a sweet smile. “Aw, how nice of you! Well tell them I said thank you and that congratulations for the new twins.” She soon turned away after Cheerilee waves her goodbye. First delivery complete. Things were going well. Yeah, nothing could go wrong. Not even the slight- “GAH-“

She soon tripped and fell, but not just fell. She tumbled all the way down a hill. Hitting her head a bit, grunting as she was bruised. Suddenly, “OOF!”. Everything went black. .

“Ugh my head. . .” She rubbed her head, then felt her stinging nose. She soon felt a running warm liquid and look at her bloody hoof. Great, how could this day get any better. She tried getting up but immediately fell down. “Mmmghhhhh!” She groaned, annoyed. She suddenly shuddered, feeling a cold mystical fog. Everything surrounding her began to feel. . Odd. Did the Everfree forest always look so dark? She had a stinging pain in her chest, it was hard to move, she felt like she was about to die.

“Welp, that was fun” she feels like these should be her last words as she lets death itself take her. But, she didn’t die. She just lied there for a few seconds. “Hm, I thought death would be a lot quick- AH-“ Pinkamena soon felt her head being grabbed by magic. Her head was moving so fast, literally, she was zipping though the forest when she sees a blueish white Unicorn with light pastel hair.

“Mmm” The mysterious unicorn muttered. “Kat, parece que he encontrado otro pony” she spoke.

Pinkamena blinked confused before being dropped down with a grunt. “Hey! You can’t just-“ Pinkamena coughed, seems she shouldn’t raise her voice. A pastel light pink Pegasus with pink hooves and black hair steps before Pinkamena.

“Howdy there!” She spoke with a friendly voice.

“Huh?” Pinkamena was now even twice as confused.

“Are you hurt pal?” The Pegasus placed a hoof on Pinkamena’s back. She winced. Every part of her body hurt. “Well don’tcha worry your lil bitty head o’ yours, I’m Kat! Pleasure to meet ya!” She said with a slight country accent.

A few minutes after being healed up, Pinkamena asked the two “so, what are you two doing in the forest?” She tilted her head. “Well ya see, me and Sparkle Zone here are, hmm. What are we again?” The Pegasus looked towards the blue unicorn.

“Estamos aquí para asegurarnos de que nada salga mal y nada se borre por la curiosidad y la tontería.”

Pinkamena just stared.

Kat nervously chuckled “What she means is, we’re trying to make sure nopony becomes self aware!” She whispered to Sparkle Zone “Sparkie, I don’t think she knows how to speak Spanish.” Sparkle Zone only tilted her head. “ qué quieres decir?” Kat facepalmed.

“Self aware? What do you mean by that?” Pinkamena tilted her head.

“Oh, you’ll see, or maybe you won’t! My point is we’re making sure you don’t die!” She booped Pinkamena’s nose, which resulted an annoyed grunt from her. “Look, I don’t know what you even mean! I think you have the wrong pony”

Kat just giggled. “Oh don’t you worry! We’ll make your life exciting and you won’t expect a thing! Ahuhuhu~” something about her tone felt unnerving to Pinkamena. Whatever could she mean by that. Before she could even speak she was soon cut off and teleported back to Cheerilee’s school. The only this different?

The forest wasn’t there anymore.

“Just one time”

Pinkamena stood there, confused. She had just been on some wacky adventure, how could you not be confused on that? It’s full on Bananas, as Cheese would say. “Whatever. I’ll just ignore it. I do have to deliver these treats” She said, continuing to trot along the dirt path. For some reason, her injuries didn’t hurt anymore, like it never even happened. Interesting. But as much as she would just love to ponder about it, she had a job to do.

— time skip to after the deliveries —

After finishing them, she headed back to Sugarcube corner. Only to be welcomed by Cheese, again.”oh great, what do you want now Cheese? Can’t you see I’m busy!”

Cheese just blinked “I know that! It’s just. . I wanna spend time with you. We haven’t spent time together in a really long time! And it was so fun when we did! You agree, don’t you?” He blinked with pleading. How could Pinkamena say no to those eyes?

She sighed “fine. But only once.”

Cheese jumped in happiness as he wrapped his hooves around Pinkamena’s neck. “Great! I’m so excited I can hardly stay still!” She shoved him off of her.

“Whatever, let’s just get this over with.” As defeated as she sounded, she was interested into seeing where this went. She followed Cheese and his giddy self. She couldn’t deny, it was kinda cute. It reminded her of when she was a filly, or at least happy when she was a filly, but she’s not a foal anymore, she’s an adult mare. And adults act mature, so why couldn’t Cheese? Maybe his parents never taught him. It didn’t matter though, it’s too late now anyways.

“Welcome to Papa’s- err, I mean, Welcome to PoniPoni’s Bakeria. With sweet treats and everything! Or welcome back should I say?” Cheese smiled towards Pinkamena. Pinkamena just froze. Whenever she was around cupcakes, ice cream, desserts or any sweet things, she felt really warm and excited on the inside. She absolutely loved sweets, they made her feel like a little foal again. But ever since she’s gotten older, she has had less time to eat sweets and less time to feel like that. And well, she had to keep it that right. But, loosening up a bit hasn’t hurt anypony in a while. “Why’d you take me here?” Pinkamena stared at Cheese with a curious glance.

“Oh well! You remember right?” He still smiled. “When we were younger, since your house was near here, we would go here a lot! It was so fun trying new treats!” He soon looked over “wow! They still have Chestnut Custard and Ruby Short cake! Isn’t this so cool? To relive the happy parts and memories of a life that was once yours? Not saying it is! Ahah!”

The names of treats always confused Pinkamena. She remembered one time with Cheese;

“Ruby Shortcake? You can’t eat Rubies!” A small filly giggled

“It’s just a name, silly goose!” A skinny, taller colt chuckled

The two foals giggled and moved on. She soon snapped out of her flashback and shook her head. She might’ve enjoyed reminiscing but that wasn’t the point right now. The point was to make Cheese satisfied enough to where he’ll leave her alone. Alone, just like she always was. Just how she liked it. At least that’s what she told herself, because she was used to it.

“So, what do you wanna get?” Cheese grinned at Pinkamena, looking intently at all the treats. “I think I might get Chestnut Custard! What about you?” Cheese exclaimed. Cheese had a feeling what she would get, he knew what she would get, although it would switch. Sometimes she would get Ruby Shortcake or Platinum Spicecake, it depended on what she felt.

“I might get Strawberry Funnelcake.” She finally spoke, which totally threw Cheese off. She usually stuck to what she usually gets. “Yeah, I’ll try it” she softly smiled. Despite her smile being so soft, it was hard to contain her excitement. She suppose she did a good job.

“Well! If you say so!” Cheese smiled, he was just glad Pinkamena was there with him. Maybe a little too glad, as he didn’t notice he was blushing at the thought of just being with Pinkamena, it made him feel so at peace. He sighed, off in his own dream world. Pinkamena only just looked at Cheese, noticing Cheese’s now crismon face. “Cheese? You good?” She tilted her head, rather concerned for the party pony. Cheese suddenly snapped out of his trance, chuckling nervously. Pinkamena just shrugged it off and ordered the treat. She always thought Cheese was a little weird. But then again, everypony is weird in their own ways, even her, which she tried to fix constantly.

——+——

After ordering the cakes, they talked a bit. About how they were doing, how life was going, and so on and so on. However, Pinkamena did not mention the part where she had a whole epiphany, she had a strong feeling she should leave that part out. She didn’t want Cheese to worry about her, it felt pointless, but at the same time. She needed somepony to talk to. No. No she didn’t, that would be a lie. She only needed that when she was a young, immature, stupid foal, and when she called out for help multiple times, nobody came. But, in a sense of light, she felt hope. This was Cheese Sandwich after all, one of her fillyhood friends, surely she could tell him anything right? Wrong. He wasn’t her fillyhood friend. She didn’t have any.

They were all dead.

“Relax! I’m here for you!”

Dead. Gone. That’s what happened. They were dead. She watched them die right in front of her. It was disturbing to say the least. Their gushing blood in one big muddy puddle. She wanted to vomit at the thought of it. She hated herself for not protecting them, even though she was the youngest of the group, why couldn’t she just do better? She soon snapped out of her trance, realizing she was zoning out.

“Menaaa! Are you ok? You haven’t eaten yet!” Cheese tilted his head and looked at her with genuine concern. He had such a gentle tone with her, a tone he rarely uses with her. It almost made her feel comfortable around him, but still, she can’t just let her guard down, she must stay focus. “I’m fine” she lied, she wasn’t really fine, far from it actually. She felt overwhelmed, a lot of things were happening. She didn’t even feel hungry, but she didn’t want it to go to waste. So she ate. She had forgotten how good the cake was here. “It’s great.” She said, looking down at her cake. But despite all this cake, she felt empty. She was sure Cheese could tell too. “Are you really okay Pinkamena? You look, well, sadder than usual, no offense!” He smiled nervously, he knew Pinkamena could get violent and he wasn’t eager to fight. Physically or verbally.

Pinkamena looked at him dead in the eye. It really sent a shiver down his spine, her stare pierced through his soul. She soon spoke. “Cheese. I need to tell you something.” She paused and looked around “Privately.” She stated, she really meant it. She began to walk out the door, leaving Cheese alone with his thoughts. “Oh! Uh. .ok!” Multiple thoughts her rushing through his head. ‘Could it be? Could it be she’s possibly confessing her love to me? Or at least willing to consider me her friend?’ He thought to himself, it didn’t matter what it was, it only mattered that he was with Pinkamena. He quickly shook his head. “Oh blasphemy! Don’t be silly Cheese. Get that out of your head!” He soon followed after her, putting the cakes in his bag. But he couldn’t help but feel excited, he did know that what he wished for wouldn’t be the case but still, he just felt like possibly, it could be. “Soooo, what’d you need that was so important?” He grinned nervously. She turned to face him, sighing. “I. . .”

“I’M LOSING MY MIND HERE!” Pinkamena groaned. Cheese just stared, flabbergasted. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up, that was partially his fault but he wasn’t expecting this. “How so?” He nervously chuckled, a bit disappointed it wasn’t what he wanted but he still had to help his friend! “It’s just so difficult! So confusing! It’s like putting on a shirt but end up getting stuck in a shirt and you can’t get in or out of the shirt so you have to ask your older sister!” She whined, she knew she lost her composure, but she was desperate and she couldn’t tell the Cakes anything. So she was at a lost. “What’s with you and shirts?” Cheese asked, rather curious about Pinkamena’s experience with a shirt. She pushed it off. “Not my point! What I’m trying to say is-“

“You’re having an epiphany about whether your life is real or not and considering it’s a script so then you deliver some stuff for Mrs. And Mr. Cake because they can’t do it themselves but you end up almost accidentally dying by tumbling down a hill and then you but then you meet these two earth ponies in some forest and they leave you confused but then that forest disappears so now you’re here with me and you have no idea what to do so you are not cling on me to help.” Cheese inhaled. Pinkamena just stood there, confused. “H- How’d y-“ she was interrupted by a friendly smile from Cheese “just a hunch!” He grinned. She sighed, of course it was a hunch, it’s always a hunch! But, she just couldn’t help but feel a little happy a bit, Cheese was always so unpredictable. “Cheese, you are so random” at least she got it off her chest.

“Pinkamena, why’d you try to hide it from me? You know you can tell me anything!” Cheese grinned. While it was true, she didn’t know how to phrase it rather than you make hoof gestures very vaguely, and that would get her nowhere. “Now listen, I know nothing about epipens-“

“it’s epiphanies” she corrected him. He gestured his hoof “Epipens, Epiphanies, blah blah! Whatever! Not my point! My point is, whatever you’re going through, I can help you! That’s what friends are for of course!” He smiled widely, sure, it wasn’t a love confession from Pinkamena, or him, but that didn’t matter! He just wanted her to be alright! That’s all that mattered to him. He felt a bit embarrassed, looking up to a mare like that, but is it a crime to have a-. He paused his thoughts, shaking his head. “Don’t worry your sweet pink head! I’ll help in anyway I can!” He petted her gently on the head. He knew she hated that, but she didn’t mind this time. She was just happy she could tell somepony something for once.

——— Later ———

7:24 PM. It got late fast. She already said her goodbyes to Cheese and headed back to Sugarcube Corner. She was getting rather tired. She yawned, she was surprised she made it so quickly back to the bakery. She didn’t mind though, she was ready to be in her bed. She said her good evenings and good nights to the Cakes and began to got ready for her slumber. She looked in a mirror, normal, as usual. She soon crawled into bed. She soon slowly returned to the land of sleep.

Pinkamena’s Epiphany

April 20th, 6:09 AM, Wednesday.

Pinkamena Diane Pie sits in her room, just staring at the ceiling thinking about random things, like what if someone’s mom is using her as a bad example for their foal or how octopuses are just really wet, aquatic spiders. But suddenly, she lands on a random thought and ponders, she thinks about it for a while. She tries to think about something else but she can’t stop thinking about it. It wasn’t like any other thoughts like ‘What if somepony found the one piece’ or ‘if your leg get cut off, would it hurt?’ it was mind blowing, something so life changing she just had to find out.

“What if my whole life, is just a script.” She said out loud. She thought about it, sitting up. She thought about it some more, I mean nothing new and exciting really happens. She wakes up, she gets ready, she bakes pastries and other sweet treats, it gets dark and then she goes back to sleep. That was pretty much it. Nothing more than that. What if that was it and nothing else. She began to look around. Everything seemed real to her. . . Right? It all seems normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Gummy sleeping, Her room dark, her closet full of close. So what could’ve lead to this thought. It was hurting her brain. She decided to go back to sleep. Hoping everything would be fine. ‘Yeah, yeah! I’m not just a script. I’ll be fine. I’m real.’ She thought to herself. And that’s how it was gonna stay. Right?