A Walking Shadow

Dafuq am I?

'Ow my head!' I wake up with a brain four sizes too large. Did I drink last night? I don't think so, seeing as though I don't drink. And I'm not one to do drugs either. I flutter my eyelids open, it was harder than it should have been. To my surprise I stare at the sky.

'Okay, maybe I did have something last night. So what the hell was it? I don't even remember going to a party let alone doing anything out of my usual norm.'

The groud feels oddly soft. Really soft. Pain shoots through my head again. I close my eyes tight and press a hand to my forehead.

"What the...?" Instead of feeling a fleshy palm, I felt something hard and smooth. And there was something weird on my face. I open my eyes one at a time to see what it was on my hand. But it wasn't something that was on my hand, it was my hand. My eyes soon shot wide open as I saw it.

"The hell?" It was gold, shiny, and plated. What the hell? I didn't have skin, I had scales! Claws and scales that ran from the tips of my four fingers all the way to to my shoulder, then my chest, and--Four fingers?!

I had four fingers! What the hell happened to my fifth? In fact which one was I missing? Pinkie? Middle? Ring? Gah! I don't know! Speaking of missing appendage, I seem to missing my toes. Why don't I have all my digits? Why? I only have three toes one each foot!

I try standing up, doesn't work out so well, it seems that my heels have been heightened too, so now it seems that I have to walk on my toes. Fan-freaking-tastic.

"Okay man, just calm down and figure out what happened to you." I say to myself trying to do everything to not have my brain explode. My entire body was covered in golden scales, hands, arms, body, legs, head, everything. So that means I'm obviously some sort of lizard.

......... What was on my back?

I slowly turn my head to look behind me to the best of my capabilities. There were two large wings, but they didn't match my body. They were feathered, orangey-red coloured had feathers, and there was something else there, lower down. A tail. I had a tail with fins at the top splitting off in a V-shape from the tip to the base. But the tail was matched to my body, golden and plated in scales. Wow, gloves really came off there.

"I'm okay with this." I'm oddly calm about knowing that last part. And kind of happy. Wings and a tail, that's pretty awesome actually.

I no longer had nails, now I had sharp claws that glittered off the edge from the sunlight. My face wasn't flat any more, now I had a snout. So yeah, I was definitely some kind of lizard, but with lips. There were very sharp teeth inside my new mouth. And hair? Hey, I actually still had hair! Thank you for small miracles. I don't even know the logic or the possibility of how the hair would be able to grow from a lizards' head, but you know what? Fuck it. I'm just too surprised and everything about the new me that I'm not even shocked about anything else.

So any ways, my hair was longer than I usually kept it. It was mid to short in length, went down a little past my shoulders, and resembled closer to my wings rather than my scales, it was orange-redish, not yellow, or black like how my hair's supposed to be. And it's shiny. I really don't know how any of this is possible.

But you know what the oddest part about the whole thing was? I'm now a cartoon. Solid colours, outlines, and everything. The works man.

'Okay man, just calm down and think about what you remember before this happened.'

"You mean to say that it's possible for you to send me to Equestria?" I ask this hot chick that randomly decided to talk to me. Don't think that I don't want her company, I just find it a little strange for a chick this hot to be talking to a stranger so suddenly. "You do realize that this sounds just like pretty much every Human in Equestria stories start, right?"

"Pretty much. So, yes or no?" No asks plainly.

"Yeah, I'd love to go."

"Yay."

'... And then if I remember correctly, she sucker punched me and then his. So maybe it wasn't all that important to recall and very brief, but at least I remember what happened last. So does that mean this is real life or I'm just unconscious? And in worst case scenario, she drugged me and I'm just trippin balls. Doesn't feel like it's a part of my subconscious, feels completely real. So this is real then? Because I really hope it isn't the other one.' I go over the last of my thoughts as to what happened when my brain finally catches up to speed and I ask a very obvious question. "Where am I?" I meant specifically, I was in Equestria I knew that much, I hope, but what was this extremely soft substance I was standing on?

I look down to my feet to see a white fluffy substance. 'Wait, snow? No this isn't cold. Then what is--!'

"GAH!" I jump back, scared out of my wits. I was standing on a cloud! 'Holycrapholycrapholycrapholycrap.' I poked my head over the edge to see solid ground. 'HOE. LEE. CRAP!'

"Okay let's see here, I am in Equestria, this may or may not be a real, I'm a dragon, and I'm on a cloud!" I slowly stand up, shoot my fists above my head, and shout three words for all the world to hear.  "BEST. DAY. EVER!"

And Discord was right. These things ARE soft!