A Tale of Misadventure

by Chaotic_Ferret

Chapter 0 - A Rude Awakening

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Author's Note

Hey all Thank you for taking the Time to check out my story.
This is my first attempt at First Person so i hope you all enjoy.
It's unedited but if it gains some traction then I'll do my best to wrangle up someone to edit theses so that i can bring you all a higher quality


Chapter 0 - A Rude Awakening

The sound of steel clashing, distant muffled and distorted screams and an orchestra of explosive rumbling earbeat filled my ears as the smell of sulphur, blood and a faint sting of dust filling my nose thrash the organ. My skin was covered in a sticky sensation that I could believe was sweat although there were patches that seemed thicker which surrounded parts of my form that would burn angrily when I focused on.

My mouth was dry and my throat felt like it was home to a nest of angry bees.

My joints burned from excursion and strain that they threatened to give up on me at a moment’s notice.

I could barely breathe while my body felt like it was filled with lead.

I couldn’t see from a mixture of sweat and blood smearing my eyes, obscuring all but the blurred of shapes, the shape before me seemed to be a dark grey that seemed to pull my focus.

This was my foe but I could not recall why I was fighting, was it for love? For pride? Or in an attempt to save my own currently fleeting life?

I didn’t know as I pushed my body forward, the feeling of my sword in my gauntleted hands gave me comfort as I rushed forward while my foe mirrored me.

We were about to connect when the world and all my perceptions shattered like glass, falling away into the void, as numbness took me and I felt weightless. It was comforting in comparison to my prior situation.

There was nary a moment to consider what was happening when I felt myself being shunted into the waking world as I was thrust into consciousness.

What was once a dark infinite void was replaced with my dark small bedroom. The 15 foot by 9 foot space was sparsely decorated with my double bed, a dresser that had an assortment of picture frames and other trinkets, a shelf with some more trinkets and my tv across from my bed which seemed to be playing some shitty knight movie. The room smelt of my cologne, a mixture of Amber, warm spice, vanilla and some citrus notes, and the reek of my half finished rum and coke that sat on my bedside table along with a bottle of water.

“Damn…” I muttered as I sluggishly sat up, feeling my body opposed to this notion save for a prominent need to use the bathroom. My body shivered as it had been removed from the comfort and warmth of my blankets. I glanced at my phone which was sitting unplugged next to my hazardous drink and the remote to the TV. I collected the device and turned it to face me, unlocking it only to groan as my world was flooded with the light of the treacherous device.

Inspecting the late hour and the low percentage, I plugged in the device before stumbling to my ensuite in nothing but charcoal boxers and a navy singlet. A yawn escaped my lips as I scratched my joints before I flicked on the bathroom’s lights and hissed as my eyes were once again bullied by the lumination at my own hand.

“God damn bladder” I grumbled as I shuffled across the freezing tiles, my body refusing to properly function as it wanted to return to sleep. Once I had relieved myself I moved to my sink, turning on the hot water because the sting of winter was leaching through my walls and tiles. Once the water was sufficiently warm, I washed my hands before looking up at the mirror. There I saw myself, relatively regular looking features save for the slight disfigurement on the bridge of my nose from when it was broken, or the scar through my left eyebrow from where I wanted to be cool when I was a young teenager. My eyes drifted down from my eyebrow to lock with the reflection of my amber eyes, probably the most irregular thing about my face were my eyes which were nice. I smirked softly as I rubbed my chin, feeling the growing stumble as I rinsed my clean hands. Once coated in water, I wiped my face and ran my fingers through my oak-coloured hair which was cut short along the sides and left a little longer on top so I could shape it a little if I felt like it.

Once I had finished doing whatever I was up to, I dried my hands and shuffled back to my bed, flicking the light off to the bathroom and closing the door as I shuffled my lean form to my bed, to return to the embrace of sleep.

Except, something was off.

The TV was off… I don't remember turning it off.

My eyes shifted to look for the remote and where I had left it but it was missing, along with my half filled drink. Okay this was starting to freak me out as i sat up, what the fuck was happening, i could have sworn that.

A creak, the groan of my floorboards. Shifting my gaze I felt my heart freeze when my eyes fell on a figure at the end of my bed. It seems impossibly tall or at least the world around it seems to warp around its form.

The shape of it was impossible to discern as it constantly shifted, breaking and reforming into different uncomfortably incredible forms. What am I looking at?

“Do nOt WOrry JeREMy, WE meaN YoU No HARm” It said in a weird tone of voice, almost like dozens of different voices talking at different pitches while all seemingly to ripple from every direction. I could feel my mind failing to comprehend what was happening as I tried to tear my eyes from IT.

“You HAVe BEen SELEcTED” It said in what i could only describe as a enthusiastic tone of voice, i tried to speak but my voice failed as i was forced to witness several different eyes spawn across it’s impossible form, each of a different colour or species but no one similar. I felt my stomach churn and bubble as i noticed that the eyes were surrounded by unrealistically white human teeth.

“Why me?” I wish I could say that I spoke in an envigored, courageous voice but I didn't… my voice was broken and shuddered without a hint of pride within it. I felt afraid, i didn’t know what this thing wanted and i didn’t wish to know… i wish i hadn’t woken up, maybe it would have left me…

The eyes started glowing, it was blinding and made my brain hurt. Ringing filled my ears and mind while my vision blurred. My ability to focus was failing me before I felt my stomach drop and I was falling.

I felt no wind resistance as I plummeted but knew I was falling from the general sensation of my organs responding to the movement. I was conscious, at least I think I am… why did this happen to me? What the fuck is in store for me? Why the hell did I have the attention of Chuthulu’s weird ass dog?

Was I still falling? Or was I rising… I can feel myself moving but it quickly became confusing, wait did that steal my drink? That bastard, I swear to whatever god is listening I'm going to…

I felt an impact rock through my body as if I had hit the ground hard and had the wind knocked out of me. I gasped for breath but at least it didn’t feel like I was falling anymore. I couldn’t breath, why was this happening to me? I had been a good guy… I helped people and didn’t go out of my way to mess with people.

I could feel panic rising as my heart raced as I shifted and tried to stand. It felt like there was concrete under my feet but that can’t be right as I was in this abyss of darkness.

“LOOK OUT!” a masculine voice cried as I turned to face it only to have something slam into my chest with sufficient force, winding me once more and sending me back down onto the ground but this time I felt the back of my head connect with the hard stone ground. The sound of contact was heard along with a ringing in my ears once more as I felt stunned.

I hated this, I didn’t deserve this… After everything I had struggled to overcome… is this how I died? Alone, scared and in the dark? Why me?

“Hey… Ah buddy are ya arlight?” a southern female voice asked

What?

“Buck, Apple Bloom Ah told ya to not toss those jugs around, they are as hard as hell and ya were gonna hurt somepony!” Another Feminine voice scolded.

“Ahm’s sorry Applejack but how was ah supposed to know that somepony would be stumblin’ about the old backroad?” This Apple Bloom said, trying to defend themselves while I still tried to regain my ability to breath and process what the hell is happening.

“Well obviously somepony was ‘ere, and ya managed to hurt the fella!” The Applejack woman lectured as I rolled onto my hands and knees as I managed to regain some threads of air into my bruised lungs.

“He wasn’t there when ah tossed it!” Apple Bloom retorted in a huff as my vision began to return. It was blinding and intoxicating… It felt like drinking water after spending days in a desert without it. Everything was so vibrant and I coughed and inhaled more air.

“Well obvious ya shouldn’t have been tossing a jug around any which way cause as AH had told ya, it ain’t safe to do so!” Applejack replied in a stern tone while i collected myself and noticed that the colours were… off

“How am ah supposed to know when somepony will randomly materialise out of thin air in front of where ah am tossing stuff?!” Bloom retorted to her as the body began to catch up with me. I involuntarily gave a pained groan as the pain in my chest and head finally registered and I curled up.

“Bloom, we live in a world where ponies can use magic and spontaneously materialise out of nowhere” Jack stated as she added claps to add emphasis to her point.

Wait, magic?

“Don’t ya start clapping at me!”

“Then don’t do dumb junk Bloom!”

“What the fuck is going on here?” I growled out as I pushed myself up and turned to look at the pair behind me. I expected people but standing there were two horses… well Horse people? They had the body of humans but the heads and tails of horses and they were covered in fur… the bigger one was orange woman, with yellow hair that was tied back in a ponytail, along with her well ponytail and wore a red flannel top, sun bleached jeans, cowboy boots and a oak coloured cowboy hat, the other smaller woman… mare? I don’t know, she wore a similar attire save for the hat and a different colour flannel. In place of the stetson was actually a bright pink bow tied into her lighter red hair. She had yellow fur and seemed to be the younger of the pair from a general attitude and appearance.

“Oh heck ah completely forgot about ya sugarcube” The orange mare said as she knelt down next to me, this didn’t make sense but i don’t know if i'm dreaming, have a concussion or am dead… I honestly don’t know which is best at this point because I was in such incredible pain.

“My everything hurts” I groan as I rub the back of my head and feel a damp stickiness along with ripples of pain, making me flinch and retract my hand, revealing the blood I suspected was there.

“Oh buck, Bloom go to town and grab a doctor, we have somepony who’s got a head injury” Applejack instructed as I groaned, I love head injuries, totally my favourite thing, well at least it wasn’t broken ri…

I gave a sharp growl of pain as Applejack picked me up as I felt the broken ribs squeeze my lungs slightly.

“Ya alright?” She asked me as Apple Bloom took off running.

“I think i have a couple broken ribs” I groaned out as i felt my arm being put over the mare’s shoulders and she began walking me towards a farmhouse. None of this made sense, I couldn't really think at the moment with the state i was in, i’ll probably panic later once my brain isn’t on fire anymore.

“Come on, let's get ya to the house… and maybe find some pants.” She said, adding a soft chuckle at the last part, making me realise that yes… I was still in my boxers and singlet.

“Great first impression… sorry about that, didn’t expect to suddenly be on your farm.” I groaned out as she guided me with surprising ease as she stood slightly shorter than me

“Ya all good Sugarcube.” She responded with a chuckle.

“So where exactly am i?” I asked as we reached the porch.

“Well you're on Sweet Apple Acres on the outskirts of Ponyville.” She explained as she helped me up the stairs.

“Why do I get the feeling there are gonna be a lot of puns?” I groaned out which only gained me a laugh in response as she led me inside.

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