Anon is tracked down by the Internal Revenue Service or the IRS

by milk rain

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Other, Profanity, Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2601

Anon didn't pay taxes back in the human world and now that his former government has found him, and they will take him back to earth by any means.

Anon didn't pay taxes back in the human world and now that his former government has found him, and they will take him back to earth by any means. [fun fact the only thing the joker fear's is the IRS]

source of picture https://www.dontmesswithtaxes.com/2022/11/irs-ci-domestic-and-global-tax-crime-efforts-pay-off-in-fy2022.html

Published 2023-08-27 20:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-08-27 20:20:00 UTC

TAXES ARE A LIE!

Anon and Twilight were just sitting down together reading a book enjoying each others company. That's when they heard the door knock "Ill get it Twilight dont worry" as Anon said this he got up walked to the front door and opened it and was shocked to see not the human's standing Infront of the door but what they were wearing he could see it clearly on the vest they wore IRS.

Twilight looked up from her book shocked at what she saw at the front door, "Anon are those other humans-" but she was cut off by the door slamming in the other humans faces as Anon locked the door. Twilight surprised by this would just say.

"Anon! why did you slam the door in their-" but she was cut off again by Anon rambling about stuff.

"No no no how did they find me! How did they get here! I cant go back they wont take me back." As Anon was saying this Twilight could hear the other humans yelling from the door.

"Hey! Hey!" Shouted one of the IRS agents as they knocked on the door. "Open the door Anon you know why we are here just come with us, Or we can do this the hard way."

Twilight still in complete shock asked Anon "Anon! what is going on-" "But she was cut off again-" "Stop making me get cut off by other people! cant I just say a sentence-" But she was cut off again by me the Narrator, because she cut me off while I was speaking about this story how rude.

Twilight scoffed at me which was not nice I am sad now. But after making me sad she looked over to Anon who has just smashed his fist threw her floorboard. Twilight would just responded "Anon what the hell are you doing-" but she was cut off as Anon would say "I have to go to my secret bunker Twilight" as he said this he would pull a leaver under the floor board he just broke to reveal a stair way down to some sort of basement

Twilight eyes go wide as she say "When did you have time to build this into my house!?" she shouted. But Anon did not answer as he quicky descended the stairs. Twilight was then spooked by the other humans trying to break down her door, and not knowing what to do she quickly descended the stairs after Anon.

As The IRS are trying to breakdown Twilight's door one of the agents heard rustling coming from a bush he went to check it
out and was scared by a pink pony popping out of the bush.

"Hi-ya friend" the pink pony shouted. The agent would just stare at her confused and then ask "And who may you be?"

The pink pony would then correct him "you mean whom" the agent would only roll his eyes "yeah yeah potato potato, can we help you?"

"I wanted to ask why the men in black are trying to break down my friends door?" The agent would reply "first off that's classified, and seconded how do you know what men in black is?"

But he would be shushed by a hoof being placed on his lips and a cupcake being handed to him the pink pony saying "shhhsshhh that's classified" a smile coming across the pink pony's face as she giggled. but the giggling was interrupted as the door to the house finally busted down.

The leader of the squad would look to the agent holding the cupcake and say "Stop messing around with the locals we got a job to do" Then yelling to the whole squad "Everyone lets roll" as they all started to funnel threw the door.

The pink pony would smile at the agent telling him that she hoped to meet him again as she jumped out of the bush and bounced away. The agent would keep staring at her confused by the encounter as one of his colleges joined him saying "you know she got a fat ass."

But he would be smacked in the head by the agent with the cupcake still in his hand as he said "of course you of all people would point that out you get no bitches." as he said this he scarfed down the cupcake joining the others down stairs in the secret basement.

As Twilight descended the stair's she would come into a room not that big but it had armor and weapons she had never seen before "Anon what is all this?" Twilight asked.

"Weapons from the human world, when I got here some of my stuff got transported here too." as he said this he was finally done gearing up. Twilight looked at him he looked like the humans that were outside but with much more gear on.

Twilight would then ask "why did you never show me any of this?" Anon would just reply "I dont think human technology and magic should mix" as he said this he would check himself having everything he need he cocked back his m16 as they heard the door break upstairs, Anon would then tell Twilight to hide somewhere Twilight would ask why and Anon would just respond "because I am about to air this shit out."

As a IRS agent descended the stairs his leg would be blasted by a couple bullets he then tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs. Twilight would see this and be in total shock anon had just injured one of his own so easily with that weapon he had.

"Anon! did you just-" but she was cut off as anon would tell her that yes he just did that, he would then run for the exit behind him as the rest of the agents came down.

"Shit he's escaping I want you three to go after him" as the leader said this three agents would run after him. Twilight came out so see the agent who had been injured being cared to as the leader came up to her.

"Sorry Ms. for inconvenience but we have to take that human back with us." Twilight would just reply "what did Anon even do?!" concern on her voice.

"he did not pay his taxes" Twilights face would go blank as the leader said this. "All of this for TAXES!?" Twilight shouted back.

"yep and we are going to take him back by any means necessary." as twilight heard this she had a great idea to help Anon get out of this situation but she would have to contact Celestia. And as she finished her thought she would then asked the leader if she could help find him.

Anon would walk down a path threw the snowy winter as he was spouse to meet up with Twilight at a camp sight of some sorts its had been a while about 2 months since he has been on the run it would be nice to meet up with Twilight. As he got to the site he saw Twilight sitting on a log a scarf over her muzzle the icy wind blowing her mane to the right a camp fire lit.

"Well long time no see Twi, you weren't followed right?" Twilight would just responded "the other humans are not interested in us ponies they would have no need to follow me."

"Well ok then you wanted to talk, about what exactly?"

"I think you should give yourself up" Anon would just chuckle at this "what are you talking about Twilight why would i go with them I am not going back to the human world especially not with them am not going to jail." Anon said defensively. They would go back and fourth the other trying to reason with the other one but twilight eventually gave up. "Well then Anon i tried but before i leave could you tell me how this works" putting her hoof onto his m16.

"you know i cant do that Twilight" Twilight would just sigh taking here hoof off the gun "Well that's to bad...sick em boys!"
As she said this multiply IRS agents came out of the wood works from trees bushes everywhere surrounding Anon. Anon would look back at Twilight who was already walking away "YOU SET ME UP!" As he said this he tried to fire at the enemy's but his gun would not work. "God dammit she probably used some kind of magic to make my gun not work" he was swiftly tackled to the ground. But everyone would freeze and at a golden and dark blue light descended from the sky.

"Thou better release anonymous this instant!" As the IRS agents heard this the lights disappeared now hovering in front of them 2 pony's alicorns to be exact. Most of the humans took their attention off of Anon and looked at the 2 pony's now looking at them from above. Some of the agents point their weapons at the pony's but Twilight would quickly say.

"You guys should lower your weapons because right now you are aiming your weapons at the leaders of this country." A smile coming across her face. The next pony to smile would be the white alicorn above them "My student is right, as of right now you are pointing your gun's? as Twilight calls it, at the leaders of this nation that you are currently standing on. And i dont think the human military pointing their weapons at the leader's of a new nation is not a good introduction to one another."

the leader used his hand to signal his squad to lower their weapons as everyone did the leader would then ask "Ok then what's your business being here and also we are not the military-" But the leader would be interrupted by the other
shouting at him.

"Thou ask what we are doing here, we should be asking you that. You come on our soil and do these illegal operations with out Thou notice before hand, and not only this you attack the ambassador between our worlds. I should punish Thou by beheading thy on a guillotine-" But Celestia would quickly step in.

"Sorry for my sister she is very angry at the moment but basically we came to ask you all to leave politely, and you all will have to because thanks to twilight here we have learned that there is a law in your human world called International extradition, and the rules of this law also line up with our version of this extradition law you humans have. So if we tally everything up you come to our world unannounced, you do your military operations with out our notice or consent, you attack the ambassador of both our worlds, and on top of that Anon here asked for citizen ship for this country which we granted so technically your attacking on of our citizens to. And to think all this could have been avoided if you all asked nicely to take Anon back to his world." After Celestia was done with her little speech she would just mumbled under her breath.

"Even though we would not let you take him back" as she said this she tossed a scroll at the leader "If you read this law it should line up with yours, and that the fact you did not ask for permission to take Anon back means you should cease your operation and go back to your world."

As the leader read this he sighed throwing the paper back up to Celestia, Celestia catching it in her magic a grin coming across her face.

"Fine you make some good points and if you want us to leave we have no other choice." As he said this he told everyone to pack it up the next thing they all heard was disgruntled human noises as most of them had been tracking Anon for like 2 months at this point only to come up empty handed. The leader would then press something on his wrist a portal through space time opening up and as the agents started to leave we would say to Anon "we will be back for you Mr. Anonymous" as the leader said this he walked through the portal too and the final you human to go through the portal would stop turning to the rest.

"Hey i dont know who she was but could you guys tell that pink pony with that poofy hair that i really liked her cupcake"
the agent said.

Twilight would immediately perk up at this "you mean my friend pinkie pie?" The agent would only smile at that. "Huh so that's her name" as he said that he to would walk though the portal it closing behind him. Everyone would just stand there in silence looking at wear the portal use to be when all of a sudden Anon would groan.

"uuughhhh Twilight take us home i need to sleep in a proper bed" Anon would then flop onto Twilight his hands holding onto her "yeah yeah ok Mr. Fugitive" Twilight said annoyed. She would then look up at Celestica thanking her form helping her in the plan before teleporting both of them home. Then Luna would ask something." Well sister seems we have done it now i shall be going to my dream walking duties i am late since you brought be into this but i must ask why did these other humans come after Anon? you said you were going to tell me."

Celestia would then tell her sister that the humans came for Anon because he did not pay his takes in response Luna would make a joke saying. "Well what are thy chances Anon has not paid our takes dear sister" saying this she would teleport away.

Celestia would chuckle at the joke starting to teleport away when she would stop herself mid way her eyes would go wide some sort of realization coming to her she would then quickly resume teleporting away.

It has been a couple weeks since Anon was finally done being tracked down, he was now with Twilight trying to figure out some jigsaw puzzle they were working on when a knock would come at the front door.

Twilight sighed "Ill get it" she would walk to the front door opening it only to see royal guards standing Infront of her house.
"Oh hello is their some sort of problem?" she would then gasp "Is queen Chrysalis back!?"

But the guard Infront would just reply "No none of that we are actually here for Anon, turn's out the Princess had looked over his file and his taxes returns are so bad, that the amount he kept from us would send us into a great depression in the next month if we dont get those bits back, trust me Ms. Sparkle i have seen it for myself it is absurd." Twilight would slowly look back to where Anon was sitting he was not there she then turned to her other side and saw her floor bored broken a small leaver poking out she then looked a few feet away from the leaver and saw a whole new passage in her house.
She inhaled and exhaled slowly and in a shout that everyone in Ponyville heard that day, she would shout "ANON!"

Author's Note

First time making a story, doing it just for fun right now but criticism is appreciated.