A Pinkie Surprise
(it's the best kind)
Twilight trotted though town on her way to sugar-cube corner. It was a pretty sunshiny day, and she knew she would enjoy whatever it was that Pinkie Pie had planned for them. The birds were singing and the bees were buzzing. Twilight looked down at a lonely, half eaten honey muffin that lay broken apart in the street. “Looks like the bees really ARE buzzing around today,” she said to herself as she moved past the small insects zooming around the sticky pastry.
Twilight trotted up to the door to Sugar-cube corner and gave it a knock. She was greeted instantly with a smiling pink flurry that was her friend Pinkie Pie.
"Oh good, you got here just in time to help me get ready for the party!" Pinkie Pie left the door open as she bounced into the kitchen to check on the cakes. Twilight Sparkle entered making sure to step over the unfinished banner laying sprawled over the floor.
"Does she know yet? I was pretty sure you wanted this to be a -”
"SURPRISE!" Pinkie promptly turned to shoot off a confetti popper at Twilight, who merely widened her eyes before almost instantly regaining her composure. "Were you surprised? Were you, huh? Huh? Were you?" Pinkie bounced around in place as glittery powder and small twists of ribbon and paper settled over Twilight's head.
"Yeah, it was exhilarating." She blew upward at the chunk of streamer that dangled from her forehead. "But just to be clear we don't want Rarity to know about this right?"
"How could it be a surprise party if she did, silly Twilight-sniffing-highlights?" She she moved to take the cakes from the oven. "Now I'll leave those there to cool off, and you can help me get the banner ready."
"OK, sounds like a plan." They walked over to the red paper banner.
"I want it to look all glittery and pretty with bows and ribbons and stuffs that are pretty!"
"Uh, yeah, that sounds like a fitting way for a party banner to look."
"So, first thing's first, can you get that bottle of glue over off the shelf for me?"
"Yeah sure I . . . wait." Twilight's face froze as she looked over to the shelf that housed the party decoration supplies. Her eyes focused in on the small bottle of adhesive, and suddenly the whole of the rest of the world fell away. A chill frosted over her mind. It had been right there in her face for so long, and time and time again she simply missed it. She had attended Pinkie's parties for months now and for some reason she had just never bothered to finish the equation that was sitting in plain sight. In her defense she would have used magic where other ponies had used normal mechanical means, so it's only natural that she overlooked this one little detail. The sun shine seemed to grow suddenly dim, and Twilight imagined that she perhaps heard some pony screaming far away. It could have been her imagination, she was not sure. Then she suddenly wasn't sure about anything. She felt a grip of fear wrap her heart.
"Twilight?" Pinkie had been studying the banner for optimum fun layout, and only now glanced up to see the look of terror on her friend's face. She followed the direction of twilight's gaze. "Oh. You didn't know about that, did you?"
"What?! . . . er, um. What do you mean?" Twilight tried to remain calm as she turned to find Pinkie's face very near her own. A cold sweat broke across Twilight's brow.
"I sorta thought it was funny when you first came here and just readily accepted how we do things. Now it turns out you really aren't that observant after all. It just took time. But, geezy poo! It took you THIS long to make the connection? A lot of supposedly 'dumber' ponies found out within the first week? All those books have made your brain rot."
"Uh, Pinkie."
"Yes, Twilight?" Pinkie's glowing smile never faltered.
"I think I might have to go now."
"Oh, no you don't. This party won't throw it's self. You're going to sit right here and help me glitter up this banner. YOU can use the glue. It'll help you get used to- HEY! Twilight come back!"
Twilight was through the door before Pinkie could stop her. She got only a little farther when Pinkie stepped out the door of the bakery and shouted. The sound made Twilight stop in her tracks. It wasn't a whinny or a neigh or any other sound she had ever heard any other pony make. It was an indescribably foreign noise, and Twilight found her hooves unable to propel herself forward. She glanced back briefly only to be met once again with Pinkie's shining smile inches away from her own mouth. Twilight tried to scream but not even a whimper came out.
She was vaguely aware that the rest of the ponies on the street were now moving slowly towards her. Her head jerked from side to side. Earth ponies. They were all earth ponies. Where were the other types? Her mind seemed to run in every direction at once, and focusing on any one thought was like trying to gather up a large quantity of broken glass shards with raw bare hooves.
"Relax Twilight." The upbeat charm in Pinkie's voice was the same as it ever was. "I'm your friend. We're ALL your friends." The crowd had formed a circle around her that was quickly closing up. "And now we're going to have different kind of surprise for you. It's gonna be super fun! You won't ever forget it."
Twilight mustered enough strength to finally utter a partial phrase. "Celestia won't let-"
"Oh, my! You're acting like she never knew in the first place. Where do you think she sends all the pretty ponies who break their little legs? It's not just because we all can work together and can keep a secret REEEEALLY well. We also have a talent for it, you know. OOooOoOOoohh Twilght. You've seen THAT building, but you've never seen beyond the locks. It might be labeled as a 'specialty clinic', but it is much much more. You've never seen that back room, TWILIGHT! YOU'VE never seen ANY pony ever come out!"
Twilight's mind split further apart as the crowd moved still closer, and all she could think of was Pinkie's smile, a ghastly smile that she couldn't look away from. She was suddenly very aware of how disgusting the yellow color of Pinkie's teeth were, and how her red and swollen gums were slightly pulsating, and how chunks of sugary candy remnant were lodged in the oddly shaped gaps between each tooth. The sickeningly sweet odor of cakes mixed with rotting enamel began to turn her stomach, and when Pinkie spoke again the voice was a warped fracture of what it should have been. Twilight felt her mind beginning to leave her.
"But don't worry, FRIEND. Dear sweet pretty FRIEND. We all love you. And we're going to take good care of you. Then you can LOVE US ALL RIGHT BACK!" With that the crowd closed the circle.
Twilight walked cautiously into the bakery. A week had gone by since last she had been there, and she tried to keep her emotions even as she closed the front door. “Twilight!” She winced at Pinkie Pie's greeting. Pinkie noticed this and her smile faltered a bit. She approached slowly but only as far as she thought Twilight might be comfortable with.
“Hey Pinkie,” she forced a half smile; Pinkie could tell.
“I'm sorry for . . . uh, you know.”
“For drugging me, you mean?” Twilight's voice caught a harsh edge to it.
“HA! Yeah , um . . . Heh heh, yeah . . . I mean, it's really not funny but . . . um . . . giggle at the ghosty?”
“Pinkie, I could have gotten seriously hurt. Or worse, I could have hurt somepony else. The doctors said that I was too clouded in the head to use magic, but what if I would have . . . I mean, I didn't even know what was real and what wasn't! Any number of bad things could have happened. Why do you even have party favors loaded with that sort of drug anyway? Or ANY drug for that matter?”
“Well to be honest, it was going to be a practical joke if Gilda ever came back. You know, shoot off a seemingly innocent confetti popper at her and then watch the hilarity ensue. I guess I got so excited about surprising you that I grabbed the wrong one by accident. In retrospect I probably shouldn't use something like that on a large, strong, angry Gilda with sharp claws, huh?”
“NO! No you shouldn't! I thought you had more sense than that.” Twilight glared down at Pinkie, who hung her head.
“I'm really sorry Twilight. I promise I won't use any of that ever again.”
“I certainly hope not. That whole experience was like having a nightmare you can't wake from. I'm only glad I can't remember most of it.”
“Really? Well then it couldn't have been all that terrible if it didn't make . . . an impression . . . sorry. Again, sorry.” Pinkie shrunk further down under Twilight's burning glare.
“You're not helping me want to forgive you, you know. Don't ever let me find out that you've used that on any pony else.”
“I won't do that, Twilight. I said I wouldn't. Besides, I used the last of it on you.”
“Well don't let me catch you trying to make any more.”
“Oh, I won't be doing that any time soon. Zecora doesn't have any of the mushrooms left.” Pinkie's expression lightened as she said this. Upon hearing the upwards inflection in her voice Twilight shot her a stare that would frost a window. Pinkie lowered her head once again. “I mean, no. I won't be doing that again. Ever.”
Twilight tried to fathom just why Zecora would let anypony have something like that, let alone Pinkie Pie. After a brief mental struggle she just decided to accept it with a sigh. “Well, I suppose that maybe one day I might eventually look back on this and smile. Years from now. Many years from now. Alright then, I accept your apology.”
“YAY!” Pinkie jumped up and down before wrapping her forelegs around Twilight's neck and dancing in a circle with her. The rest of their visit went in a typical fashion with fun chit chat and newly baked muffins and plans of the next party to be thrown.
As the sun began to set Twilight was saying her goodbyes. As she moved to the doorway to leave she passed the cabinet where Pinkie kept the party decorations. She recalled the initial scare that sent her down the road to a bad trip. She felt uneasy again.
“Hey Pinkie,” she looked from the cabinet to her friend, “What exactly is it that you use to make the glue?”
Pinkie blinked at her once and simply stared. Twilight began to feel quite upset before Pinkie erupted in laughter. “HAHAHA! Just kidding silly filly. It's a mix of honey and water mostly. Hee hee.”
“Oh, heh, you had me going there for a minute.” Relief washed over her as she turned to leave. “Goodnight Pinkie Pie.”
“Goodnight Twilight.”
Twilight skipped out into the evening towards her library home. She decided to go to bed early that night. It only occurred to her after she was safe and snug in her bed: throughout all the hot days of summer, she couldn't remember any of Pinkie's parties ever having problems with insects buzzing around the glue that held the decorations together.