Chapters Sweet Dreams Are made of ...
“The lunches, the long talks, the benches we sat on, none of that was real!?”
Lyra's words stung that day, a piercing pain in my gut, my heart. When was the last time I had gotten to do something real? For the longest time, I had been living a lie, and finally…
Finally, the truth was out, I had let somepony in on my secret, and something in my life could be true. Even now the potential for dire consequences makes me shutter, but having said that, I had let my best friend in on my darkest secret, and suddenly it felt like I could truly live, no longer strangled by the cruel embrace of silence.
Better yet was having a friend at all, even better than the freedom of truth was the feeling of having my friend accept me again, the feeling of being in her embrace.
I never wanted to lose her again.-Redacted
I stepped into the record store fighting the urge to clench up… or more likely to fight something, as the door shut behind me, its bell ringing in the silence, its sound a sharp contrast.
Professionalism. I had seen some horrible things, but I couldn't let it show. Nopony could Know. I was here in this store, just a curious candy merchant asking about some old music, nothing out of the ordinary. Definitely not a representative of a secret society bearing no allegiance to anypony, creature, Nation, organization, or otherwise.Completely clandestine and intended for the protection of all Equestria and the better good… definitely not all that… Was I sweating, could anypony see me sweating?
Breath.
Just a pony looking for a record.
I approached the unicorn Mare at the counter… “Hello”
She looked at me… or at least I think she was looking at me as it was impossible to tell through those thick shades. I had to get me a pair of those. But I doubt she heard me as over her ears she wore a pair of noise-canceling Headphones, pumping out the sickest beats I had ever heard… honestly I needed to add some of that to my heist playlist. Despite, and perhaps largely because of her sick beats she likely wouldn't be my greatest source of information in this scenario.
I nodded at her, and whether or not she heard me...
I glanced around the store.
Ah, there it was.
I approached the rack, one labeled in rather an obvious script as
: Polka
I only knew of two ponies that would listen to Polka intentionally.
I approached the shelf, scanning my hoof across the various titles, a surprising number of them composed by Cheese Sandwich…
Polka Party
Brahms. I didn’t know a single party-pony who would listen to Braums, that had to be it. I mouthed the record case.
First giving a light nod to the distracted cashier I stepped into the listening booth and slid the soundproof door shut behind me. With some struggle (EarthPony problems)I managed to unseal the record and slide it out of its sleeve placing it on the player. Setting the needle down I listened intently to the recording.
The record began to spin, and the somehow soft serenade of accordion-filled beddy-bye music began to play from the speaker. I listened for a moment, to its bobs and sways… struggling not to fall asleep myself… Come to think of it, I hadn't slept well in weeks. Then just before I thought I could stand it no longer I skipped to the very end of the record, setting the needle down with my mouth, and trying not to drool all over the vinyl.
“Good Morning Special Agent Sweetie Drops.
Your Mission Agent Sweetie Drops, should you decide to accept it, would be to infiltrate the dreams of Princess Luna, gain access to the wider network of dreamers, and seek out nightmares in order to discover the true location of this master shadow. You must get to it and dispose of it before any other power can take control of it and bring the end to Equis. While you work other forces will be working on the outside to attempt to detain and dispose of the Shadow Handlers.
As always you have carte blanche as to method and personnel, but of course, should you or any member of your force be caught or killed, the princesses will disavow any knowledge of your actions…
Oh and Agent… it is your choice, but this time I would suggest you bring a friend, the sleepover is friendship themed and requires a plus-one… ,well that, and you probably could have used some backup for that bugbear.
As usual, this recording will decompose one minute after the breaking of the seal.
I hope it’s a welcome back Drops. It’s been a while."
My heart began to rise... One minute, one minute, how long had it been?
3
A small explosion behind me.
The white mare at the counter continued jamming out, noticing none of this.
Sweet Dreams Are made of ...
There is nothing like having a best friend. A simple enough fact…
when your friend isn't secretly a secret agent who had been hiding their true identity from you as long as you have known them.
Although…
There is nothing quite like that either.
Mine and Bon-Bon’s…er... Rather mine and Agent Sweetie Drops' relationship had never been all that simple anyway. My obsession with “Humans” ... and with benches for that matter, her tendency to seemingly randomly disappear in the middle of conversations…and both of our passions for talking over one another… It's a wonder we got along at all… Although I am embarrassed to say, that was part of the reason for my distress when she told me her secret. You see at the time I was harboring a secret of my own, and I didn't feel worthy of her friendship… for a split second I thought that it had all been a lie… that maybe she was only close to me to spy, to keep an eye on the strange pony with a passion for anthropology. An oddity surely the princesses would have an interest in. But no… no. I don’t think that was it. In fact, I'm certain. At the time it was just my nerves.
After all, I ate all the oats. -Lyra
I managed to twirl the fork over my hoof, a task that would have been so much easier with fingers, a trick I had taught myself years ago while trying to imagine how other creatures would have used the implement.
“I was reading over some of the books Princes Twilight gave me. You know, the ones written by humans… did you know some of them use a pair of sticks to eat, not one in either hand, but in one hand… something like this…”
Somehow and with some effort, miraculously I managed to balance a pair of forks on my hoof as if they were chopsticks held across the arch of the thumb and between a set of delicate fingers… As if held between a human middle finger and ring phalange. They held there for just the smallest moment, and then fell, clinking to the ground.
“What's that… oh, Lyra, you dropped your silverware.”
A golden gleam of magic radiating about my horn I picked up the forks placing them gently back on the table …Bon-Bon had missed my feat… decidedly more interested in something else, which was fair enough, most ponies were not very into human lore, a subject most found to be more trouble than it was worth. But there was something else to it. Bon-Bon seemed particularly alert, on guard… and only to anypony who knew her well enough to notice. She seemed nervous. Not that the nervousness was really showing all that much. After all, she was really good at her job. But the nervousness was there, the swish of her tail, the movement of her ears, the light and constant tapping of her hoof, the tightness in her face.
Honestly, in the past, noticing these things about my friend, I had always just assumed her to be the nervous sort, prone to anxiety… but now… knowing of her secret career, I paid more attention. She was watching for something, ears twitching in each direction, alert.
Glancing around in what I hoped could be considered discreetly, I tried to follow my friend's gaze. What could she be watching for?
The busy Ponyvillian street across from our cafe was a bustle, carts and merchants lined it in every direction, ponies trotting and shopping in every which way. A flower merchant here, an apple stand there, Derpy coming up the street barring a basket filled to the brim with muffins, all pretty standard stuff. She was watching the crowd… Watching for something… somepony.
Suddenly, she turned away from the street; propping an open Ponyville Chronicle between her face and the crowd, somehow managing to flick her shades down as she did. The message was clear, be cool Lyra, be cool.
I lifted the encyclopedia Twilight had lent me. It occurred to me that I might peek over and ask her what we were looking for… but no I didn’t want to blow her cover…our cover…
I grinned.
Suddenly there was an explosion, or something like one as Derpy tripped over a loose stone, trying to catch herself sending a flower cart careening down the street, its momentum only stopped by a wayward pie stand, flowers and muffins and pies flying in every direction. Mass hysteria. Stampedes, perhaps way too easy to start in Ponyville. I doubt humans deal with quite this much chaos… but with magic invading their world… maybe.
In all this chaos, I don’t think Bon Bon even batted an eye. Trying to keep a calm composure, I glanced over the encyclopedia at my friend. Finding myself not able to see her face I leaned back to glance at her expression beyond the newspaper. She was smiling…Apparently, everything was going to plan. I returned to my book “reading” as ponies screamed and flailed around us, screaming in the mass panic.
And then. In the chaos. Unbeknownst but perhaps anypony but me, Agent Sweetie Drops leaned down and picked up a muffin sliding it into her saddle bag.
Sweet Dreams Are made of ...
Muffin Received. I returned to my newspaper, anonymity a must. I glanced over the top of it, Lyra was greening across from me.
“What?” I asked… but I knew the answer. She was on to me.
“What's with the muffin?” She queried.
I leaned in real close to her and whispered "I figure its about time we plan a party”
“Why are we at Pinky's house? “
I mouthed the key into the lock.
“And why does she keep it locked?... and she gave you the key?”
I placed the key into my saddle bag and pushed open the door.
“Full of questions today aren’t you.” I glanced over my shoulder to make sure nobody was watching and then stepped in. “Pinky Pie, the party pony, is a collector of information, and she has the largest collection of character profiles in all of Equestria… as a responsible pony she keeps the information under a secure lockdown.”
“And you have the key because…. gasp, Is she a part of your organization.”
I spun on a bit, placing my hoof against Lyras mouth. “Shh… don't mention the organization. Pinky is not one of mine… She has always been a free agent… there is no predicting her, but no, no she’s not one of ours. I have the key because I am her candy supplier, I'm contracted to fill her reserves, it's given me a certain amount of access. ”
With that I tapped my other hoof against a statuette of iced-cream and a trap door opened before us revealing a worn sun yellow slide.
“After you”
“You want to know what the deal is with this muffin.” I took it out of my saddle bag and placed it on the tabletop between the two of us.
Lyra nodded.
“Ok Lyra. I need to know I can trust you and more than just as a friend. Lyra. Can I trust you?”
Again she nodded.
I turned to the filing cabinet closest to me and began flipping through files.
Lady-Gaval
… her name wasn't there.
And then I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Try under Heartstrings… I…I changed my name when I moved from canterlot.”
(King)Longhorn
Fair enough I supposed… Shed didn't know everything about me after all… and I would know soon enough, pinky's records where immaculate…If perhaps too extensive. Some of these ponies didn’t even exist.
I returned to my digging.
Hughbert Jellius
I missed it.
Haakim
There we go… I grabbed the file and dropped it on the table.
Much of the following document has been redacted for my friend’s protection.
Heart-String(Lyra)- Anthropologist
Lyra moved in to Ponyville (Date Redacted) From Canterlot in hopes of reinventing herself after
Her favorite ice cream is a Cookie Crumble Blizzard
She likes Pink and green bloons
She enjoys board games and music.
She is terrified of (Redacted)
(Redacted)
(Redacted)
Great gift Ideas for Lyra include
Books on (Redacted)
(Redacted)
Gloves
Hairbrush
Harp Strings
(Redacted)
(Redacted)
(Redacted)
“Cotton candy?”
Lyra squirmed in her seat a little at this.
“Its just so… Sticky”
Having completed my analysis I proceeded to sit down with Lyra and brief her on the mission.
I balanced the muffin on my hoof before her and in my other hoof I held a simple cupcake.
I began my well practiced monologue-
“Unfortunately, no one can be told what this muffin is. You have to see it for yourself. … This is your last chance Lyra. After this there is no turning back. You take the Cupcake, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the muffin, you enter Wonderland and I show you how deep the rab-”
In a sudden explosive action Lyra yanked the Muffin from my hoof and cramped it in her mouth.
…
“I..I … was supposed to eat some of that too.”
