Live, Die, Repeat

by Hidden_Night

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Profanity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Princess Luna, Anon, Original Character
Length: 80836

An Isekai starts when you die, so what if you kept dying and got placed somewhere else?

It all started with a truck, then a magic blast, then a futuristic space gun, then I’m half sure I was disintegrated in a volcano at some point, and so many swords through my chest.

Ahem.

Point is, I’ve just kept coming back into different worlds. All violent, all with magic power systems that are similar, and with people I’ve met, lost, and abandoned.

Yet, this could be the first time I can die happy. As a unicorn oddly enough.

A more humorous take of Anon in Equestria, and other self insert Isekai Stories.

Featured: 9/10/2023 THANK YOU!
9/15/2023 agian, wow. Thanks!

Note: While I am happy with the attention, I am finding myself unsatisfied with the result of my work. I am still going to write for this story and character. Only this time, a bit better. I want to make a story I can feel proud of making.

A rebirth if you will. Live, Die, Repeat will return as a remake. Just not for a little bit. Thank you for reading! I’ll be back with something I can be proud of!

Published 2023-08-20 19:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-11-30 09:02:12 UTC

Up again! Punch a tree! Go find a job! - Edited!

My heart aches, and a piercing jolt through my chest wakes me up yet again. I am punching my entire being to sit up and inhale. Panic breathing settles in as the adrenaline in my body flows through me, giving me the strength to get up.

I’ve woken up again, how exciting! I wonder how I’ll die this time. I’m placing my bets on Plague this time around. It’s been a while since I’ve dealt with one. Though, with how many times I’ve fallen to a plague, it’s unlikely due to my body retaining some “experience” from my last life. It’s a neat system! It’s like leveling up, only I just get placed in a different place and hope it can improve.

Or worse, but that’s also unlikely.

I should probably open my eyes and take a gander around. A good rule of thumb is to find civilization, find a guild, and then go do something for a while. It should be fine to kill time that way.

I slowly let my eyelids open, only to find it was an open field. Grass of green, skies of blue, a water stream next to me, and a tree line defining a dark forest. If this were an RPG-like world, that would be the first area to level up, but considering I don’t want to risk getting arrested for illegal hunting, I’ll pass up for now.

Am I getting onto my…hooves?

With a quick gander down, a green body of fur awaits, with flat circular limbs protruding out of my body. With a black tail behind and a question mark on my bum, flank, whatever. I am forced polymorphed into a pony. Okay, no big deal. I remember how to walk, if only through other experiences. It’s like a wolf, only without the paws or…claws.

After taking a few troubleshooting steps, using both my hind and forelegs one at a time, I get the mechanics down and then take a quick prance to the nearby tree. I am eyeing up the tall, dark set of bark. It is tall, definitely not oak or any wood I know of. They probably named something stupid like Dark Wood or Evil Plank.

Getting up on my hind legs, I can stand up. I'm leaning forward due to the placement of my forelegs, just dangling there like on a ledge, but I’ll have to force them to relax on my side as I move myself into a fighting pose. Right hind leg shifted forward, left shifted slightly, twisting upper body thanks to legs in prime position, and a sudden turn and a hoof shooting forward, I punch the tree.

Well, it's more of a stomp since I can’t ball a fist, and I’d rather not test pony ankles on wood. I guess it would be like open-palming something.

As the bark snaps forward, the roots lift from the dirt below me, and splinters flying around my hoof. I still had my strength with me, something good to know. All that’s left to test is magical ability; then, I could take this wood and turn it into a cabin.

Yet I need a medium. Naturally, humans can perform magic. They need a medium to access their source of magic. The same should apply to ponies.

Probably any stick could do, but that leads to the chance for a spell to backfire and kill me right away, so it's for the best to avoid that. I may be brought to another world upon death, but I strive to see how long I can last before I kick another bucket.

With my head shifting left and right, trying to find anything metal, or at least smooth to use, I found nothing, but gazing up slightly caught my attention: a horn! On my forehead! I’m not just a pony but a unicorn, which comes with infinite life, a free pointy stick, and can probably turn people into confetti if shot at someone.

I have to avoid pie confectioners. The last time I was a unicorn, some guy cut it off, and I fell down a cliff. Not fun.

Anyway, using my horn, I decided to do something simple yet fun.

Magic Missile!

Focusing my thoughts on the medium, my horn, I can surround it in an aura. Then, three bolts of a green light flew out of my horn, making contact with the tree. Letting more splinters spark and ignite as the wood snaps and cracks. A nice new hole was now open through the tree before it slowly leaned back and fell upon the tree line.

With my quick check of my body completed, I can now set off to do whatever I want. Finding civilization, living in a cave, dying, and staying here are all my current options. So, let’s head down to locate any society. It shouldn’t be in the forest. It looks like the place a guild would camp outside to draw in skilled rangers and harvesters. So, it’s time to circle and hope I go in the correct direction.

Settling myself back down on all fours, I began to gallop, using that experience to run around the forest. I’ll dub it the First Forest in case this place is primitive.

It’s been an excellent half an hour. My heart is steady, my breathing is fine, and my legs feel better after breaking in.

‘SO WHY AM I SO CONFUSED?’ I thought to myself, as I’m being babbled too by a very Pink Pony.

“Heysowhereareyoufrom?IfeltmytailgotwitchytwIitch,whitchusuallymeanssomethingisgonnafall,butthenIfeltmy-“ She would not slow down if she’s the leader of being able to speak this fast. I don’t know what to do.

Oh, right, to catch you guys up here. So, I found this quaint village a little medieval, something I’m pretty familiar with. I enter, next thing I know.

PINK IS ALL I SEE.

Also, I'm chewing on cake right now, just nodding and grunting with my mouth full. I have to pretend I understand. The pink speed-talking pony has been going on for about 10 minutes or so.

“Soanyway, WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!!” She suddenly started speaking like a normal person, with her body suddenly standing straight up and decorations that somehow got here way too quickly. She fanned her front legs out, almost as if trying to show me the decorations—a banner with ‘WELCOME TO PONYVILLE,’ various balloons, and streamers.

I just got here looking for a job and a hotel to start, something decent. Perhaps one of the other ponies here can get me into something to start, a part-time job, one free-lance shift, anything really.

With a small crowd around, some waving at me, others ignoring me, and this kid taking a large bite out of my cake. It's rude but understandable. With another peek around, I see a white pony in a dress. Everyone else is nude but her. Go off, I guess, upperclass, I assume, so she won’t accept my support. Looking up, I see some ponies flying with wings, pegasi, I presume. Anything that requires flying is an immediate no.

So I decided to get talking to some of these ponies. Their vocabulary is odd since the only thing they change is ‘somebody’ is now ‘somepony,’ and other such bodies become ponies.

Attempting to find work is challenging. Some ponies, wait, I'm doing it already, are nice enough to ask their boss to see if they have openings. Yet, I still can’t find any higher-ups. Maybe the white girl has something for me.

So, taking in a deep breath, talking to a high-class lady is going to be difficult.

I approach with a confident gait, but I am not too sure. I slowed down to walk normally towards the mare, who glanced in my direction when the white pony in a dress heard my footsteps before being surprised and turning towards me.

“Hello,” C'mon, say something charming. Must be sociable while not flirting with the white pony! I assume she’s female from the dress. “Fair lady,” I say, speaking generally while slightly bowing.

“Oh, how nice of you, darling.” She giggles into her hoof. Got called Darling, a good sign. Plus, she sounds posh and trying very hard to sound British. “It’s a wonderful change of pace to see a gentlecolt walk into town.”

Gentlecolt…it’s supposed to be Gentleman, but with the male horse name, got it!

“I pride myself on knowing a lady when I see one.” I got that charisma flowing through me. See blushed slightly at the flattering, though faltered at the end. She probably thinks I’m sucking up to her. Just pull back to prevent brown-nosing. I have to get that job opportunity. “As a new citizen, I, too, need to play my part in society. So, do you have any job openings you are marginally aware of?”

“Hmm. Well, I do require some help in a store in Canterlot, but that would be too much to ask of you if you’re moving here.” With her hoof to her chin, she began to ponder, making overly dramatic hmms. Then, with a sudden lightbulb in her brain, she continued. “Oh, perhaps you could foalsit my little sister and her friends while I get you a job set up in my store here in Ponyville.”

She seems excited at the revelation. I’m not going to prod into why she needs a babysitter, but I assume it’s to go on a date or check on that other store in totally not Camelot.

“Sounds good to me, Lady…” I held my hood up, circling it in the air, prompting her to introduce myself.

“Rarity, and please just call me Rarity. How about yours? A handsome stallion like yourself must have a name to remember.” With a warm smile and her hoof extended to mine, we shake. Also, she’s flirting with me! Okay, I did too much. Not rich enough, nor the status to go out with a girl like her.

“Alright, my name is Anonymous. Just call me Anon.” The tried and true name. Usually, I’d try to get a unique name for each world I’m in, but I’ve reached a writer's block of names for a while, so that Anonymous will do.

“Anonymous, it’s been pleasant meeting you. Shall I meet you tonight? I assume you don’t have a place to stay yet, so if it isn’t too much to ask, may you watch over my sister overnight?”

“Overnight…yeah. I don’t have a place booked yet. I can do that.” Anonymous the…untitled has now become Anonymous the Babysitter.

I was exchanging goodbyes and getting the location of her place. It was going to go well. Apparently, she had to do something with the girls in Canterlot and can’t miss it.

So I wondered.

This place is a blend of modern society and medieval. They have no guilds for adventuring or fighting. Just normal society with jobs that are bog standard and decent, they have stores that are specialized for comfort, a bathhouse that has become a spa, and I'm lost. Though if my magic is any indication, they probably have it down, and it’s so normal to them that they don’t have any advancements in magic outside of those who are in specialized schools.

This is going to make my life difficult. I’m basically in a normal society, with no wars to fight and no one to sign up as a mercenary. It feels like Blue Collar America all over again, and yet, I’m not bothered by this. It feels liberating. I can finally just have an everyday life without worrying about my life! Perhaps I might still worry. No life is stress-free.

Then, when all hope is lost, I see a shining beacon of hope. HayBurger, but then I lost that hope when I remember: NO MONEY.

‘Time to do old faithful…’ I say, creeping into an alleyway and getting a tin can.

Author's Note

I don’t know what I’m doing. It just was a thought I had for a moment and decided to write it.

Yeah! Cardboard! Begging! - Edited!

“Change, please!” There I was, sitting down on the cardboard I found in the dumpster, holding a tin can in my telekinetic grasp. Shaking the one coin I found on the floor, hoping the rattling sound would attract someone.

Being homeless is a pretty good test of generosity within any Isekai area. Usually, it comes in one of three types.

Generous communities give you coins and leave you alone. They’re type 1. If you have enough for a hotel room, that means a free shower and a job interview the next day. They’re the most helpful for newbies in the world like me.

The second type is apathetic communities. They give you nothing but ignore you. Not the best, but enough to know that you can go somewhere else and find work if they don't care about you.

The last type is the aggressive communities, usually in futuristic settings with modern police and active mayors. It’s still a free bed and breakfast in jail either way. Rather than spend a day in prison, it is harder to end it quickly and head to the next world.

Still, perhaps this won’t be so bad. The one coin has no rust, so it’s pure gold. So, if I’m thinking about this, this works off the gold standard. I don’t know the exact weight of gold to buy power yet until I get my eyes on some prices.

Then I checked up at the sun, noon. Perfect. If I know anything about villages, noon is when they get produce and go home after waking up at dawn. Six to seven hours of work is the prime time to fish out any cash I can get; I have to get the line drawn and hook primed

I use my magic to ruffle my hair and make it extra ragged and messy. I headed to the stalls, or as it’s probably known, the marketplace. The smell tantalized my new pony body: fresh apples, excellent-smelling carrots, and the godsend celery. Celery should be able to hold this new body over for quite some time. Though I should get some protein to satiate my past bodies, if I go full vegan, it’ll not be easy to go back to meat. Man, mental battles are challenging.

“Spare change!” I call out, sitting near an alleyway right by a dumpster. The perfect spot for begging. They’ll assume I hide out in the dumpster, feel pity, hand me a coin, I endlessly thank them for their generosity, repeat. It should be easy.

With a rattle of the can and a quick “borrow” a spare wooden plank from said dumpster. I use my horn to inscribe a message upon it, marking dark ink upon the board like gliding a Sharpie.

I dub it Magic Marker

Thank god I learned how to write without a pencil. It makes the whole thing easier. The wooden plank now has the message, ‘Pls help, no coins : (‘. I think they can recognize emoticons down here

I hold the new sign on my left hoof and the can on my right. Both arms extended high as I sit down, furiously shaking to sell my misfortune as much as possible.

‘This has gone wonderfully.’ I think I'm counting 15 gold coins from being a beggar tonight.

First, one came around, looked at me, hung her head high, facing away from me, and then walked away. She seemed to be high-class and very much stingy. Curly violet mane and rose body, and an odd picture of a wedding ring upon her rear. Perhaps she married into greatness, and it’s getting to her head.

The next few were kind enough. A gray, crossed-eyed mare was the first, telling me how the post office was always open for me. She seemed nice and almost ran me over. Minty green unicorn deciding, and I quote, “Maybe I should do a good deed today.” We love to see it!

Then, a couple of generic ponies I could not remember the colors of.

The most generous tip was a group of fillies. Orange, white, and more of a yellow-red combination. A whole four coins from them. I did the usual thank you, and they called me ‘Mister’ God…I miss having kids. That’s in the past now; wait, the white girl seems familiar somehow. Eh, coincidence, maybe.

Dusting my green butt off, I get up and set off—a chance to find something grand. The grind never stops! The public library! Yeah!

I mean, there has to be a public library. Every small village has one where the resident nerd hangs out or the quiet and cute librarian who somehow already has an affair with the most muscular guard on duty. It’s odd how many times the librarian goes for a soldier…

With no knocking, it’s a public library. I hear an audible,’“Oof!” with plenty of objects falling. None of them sound particularly expensive, so at least there’s that.

With a peek around the door, I see a tiny lizard down on the floor while books have found a place beside him. One even laying on his head. I swear I can see stars around its head. Wait…no, lizardfolk are usually taller, have more jagged chins and muzzles, and eyes are not as sharp as snake eyes. Plus, with its leg length and pointed tail, it’s a dragon. A small one, yet still a dragon, they could be dangerous. Breath attacks are scary indeed.

“Oh! Sorry, dude!” I snapped myself out of the staring and used my magic to grab the books. I used my legs to close the door behind me and quickly set a pile on the table in the center. Extending a hoof down to the dragon.

“Ow. That definitely happens a lot.” He grabbed my hoof on what is seemingly instinct, using my body weight to get himself up off the ground. He isn’t very heavy, about 15 pounds at most.

“Yeah. Should maybe have knocked, but then again public library. At least, I hope this is a public library.” I explain myself, taking a gander around.

“Oh. Right, should still probably put a sign up there. I know that door has knocked me around a few times.” He grumbles that last part.

“Could be good. Just asking if you could help me find something real quick, and I can be on my way.”

“Sure! I’m the Number One assistant here. What are you looking for?”

The reason why I’m here is quite simple: any good rule follower has to know the rules, and the rules are laws. I plan on staying as far away from jail as possible. Sure, I have an active medium on me, but they might have counter-spells to shut down my magic, so it's best to follow them.

Also, I don’t have a counter-spell to a counter-spell to a counter-spell. I’m not that deep into magical duels. I might as well get a spell to help me evade those duals.

Still, I get two books and go through the check-out process. A book on laws called. “Laws and Rules by Ledger Keeper,” and another, “Wormholes, Portals, and Teleportation! By Shattering Star”. These ponies have very… exciting names. I wonder how you get a nickname with those types of names. Ledge, ledgy, ger? Shat? Yeah, I should stop.

With the whole reading materials gained, I head out. I thanked the dragon for its time. He’s friendly, and I wonder when he’ll grow big and strong.

Then, I took myself to where I was supposed to be. Since I had no pockets, backpack, or bags, I had to store the books in a quaint little pocket dimension. It's relatively easy to keep things in there, but I can’t bring anything from another world. I tried already. It doesn’t work out.

I'm still wondering how I know how to open a pocket dimension but can’t teleport without Chaos Magic. It is beyond me. I want to stay out of chaos magic in my body for a long time. It really does hurt to tap into and maintain.

Upon my arrival at the Carousel Boutique. It just led me to a question. Why is it a carousel? Do they offer a ring or clothes you can encircle yourself with? Carousels are theme park rides. Are they still horses or just different animals? Hell, if I know.

With a quick straightening of the hair using magic, my horn starts to ache a little. Magic exhaustion is not on my to-do list today. I need a mana potion. Plus, I think my built-up mana reserves did a reset when I died again. There is a thing I have to build up again.

Knocking on the door, I’m greeted by much-ready Rarity. “Thank you, darling, for doing this for me. It was dreadfully difficult to find a last-minute foalsitter for my sister and her friends. Normally, I’d ask my friend Fluttershy, but we got our business to take care of.” She just kept talking to me while she was getting a sun hat fitted on her hair correctly, sunglasses being placed upon her eyes, and a suitcase.

I nodded and entered, sidestepping from any floating objects when needed with a comically large scarf whizzing past my head to wrap around her neck. Suddenly, it’s an average length for a scarf.

“Ta ta darling. Please keep my sister safe; don’t make me regret this decision. This is my little sister I’m trusting you with.” She lowered her sunglasses to look me directly in the eyes. I felt compelled to sit straight up and respond.

“I promise not a hair on her head will be hurt!” Was the salute selling too hard? Yes, absolutely. Did I do one anyway? Yes, abso-fucking-lutley.

“Good. Good.” She backed away slowly before closing the door and leaving me in there. I feel like she’s forgetting something.

Then the door swung back open, causing me to flinch slightly. “Oh! Almost forgot. Spare keys are underneath the potted plant, and you can get snacks in the fridge. Bye-bye, darling!” She was gone again. Well, at least I got a roof over my head the first night, even if it was someone else’s house.

“Now, who’s the little sister?” With a quick circle around, I climb up the stairs and meet eye-to-eye with a familiar white filly.

“Oh! You’re the Homeless Pony!” She said, oddly excited about the whole me being her babysitter thing.

Great. Kids. I forgot how much I don’t like kids.

Ears! In Pain! Help! - Edited!

Okay. So, quick rundown. Kids are excited at the prospect of hanging out together.

The Kids are also very good at meeting up way too quickly after adults leave, and there’s no subtly about it.

And also.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER LUMBERJACKS! YEAH!”. Three adorable, albeit loud, fillies yelled suddenly. My ears are flicking and ringing.

[15 minutes earlier]

“Hey! You’re the homeless pony we gave bits to!” She pointed at me, the coolest homeless guy to ever be homeless. It’s a lovely white unicorn filly, adorable pink and purple hair mixed with curls, seems natural. Plus, her green eyes, hopeful she isn’t green with envy. I miss her sometimes.

“Yep. And I’m thankful for your generosity. Also, your sister gave me the job of watching over you.” Flash a smile for the kid. It's not too sharp, just a tiny happy smile.

The kid seemed to get it, giving a smile back as she paced the stairs and hopped over to face me.

“Oh. Did Rarity bring you here? I thought I was old enough to take care of myself.” She put a hoof on her chest and tried to stand tall, puffing out her fur in an act to appear more prominent and, therefore, an adult

“Uh uh…so did you almost burn the house down while cooking?”

“H-Hey! Rarity said she would tell nopony!” She was embarrassed now. The white fur wasn’t helping in hiding her very blush. How am I seeing blush on her coat anyway?

“It was just a lucky guess. Relax. Not here to rat on you, just here to uh, I guess, watch you?” What was I to do? I was just given a house and a child. I got no instructions on what to do.

“That’s cool. I think.” Her voice squeaked. Cute.

“Anyway. I’m Anonymous, and you?”

“Sweetie Belle!” Perking up at the question, she eyed my butt, tilting her head. She was about to speak before a knock at the door stopped her from talking.

“Oh, that’s my friends!” She rushed past me and went to the door.

“Applebloom, Scootaloo! You made it!”

“Yeah! Who’s watching us?” The orange one asked.

“Mister Anonymous, the Homeless Pony from earlier!”

“Really? I know Rarity was panicking to find us a babysitter, but I didn’t know she would go for a homeless guy.” She is seemingly baffled by my very existence as a homeless pony. I get it. Still, she was desperate, I think? Either she’s good at hiding her emotions, or she’s just flirting with me so I can watch over them. Either or…

“So, who are you two? I know Sweetie here, but who are you two?”

[Now…]

Then I learned their names, Scootaloo and Applebloom.

They ran off to find stuff to cut wood and lumberjack caps. They got one for me as well, it’s green like my fur, but it feels nice to wear a hat. Ear holes are a little weird.

“Yeah! Ah got the axe from the barn, and we could head down to whitetail woods.” We are also near the South, apparently. Usually, the fantasy southern folk are the hospital versions. We don’t talk about the other facet…

Also, that hand axe is way too big for her.

“Oh! Oh! I want to say ‘Timber’ when it falls!” The orange one exclaimed. Somehow, their voices aren’t faltering despite the whole screaming so loud I could swear it’s a lethal weapon.

“Wait! Wait! I almost forgot something.” The white girl yelled and quickly went upstairs, leaving me with two staring children.

“So…” I started. “I think, uh, Rarity would like it if just kept near you girls.” I didn’t want to harm their freedom and force them to stay inside. Even if I am babysitting, I’ll still respect what they want to do.

“Oh. Right. The foalsitter. Ah forgot. Mister could w-“

“Anonymous or Anon if you want.”

“Ah, gotcha, Anon, can we please go out and cut a tree? We gots to try to earn our cutie marks!” Her eyes, why are they so big? So cute? Wait no! I must not be charmed!

“Yeah, but I’ll watch. Just in case.” You’re a weak man.

“Yay!” The two weren’t as loud as the trio, so thank god my ears aren’t going to go deaf in this world!

Also…cutie marks. Hmm. These must be the names of the badges for Girl Scouts. Safe estimation, it would seem, but where are their sashes?

“I got them!” The white filly was dragging three patchwork capes in her mouth. It's a little gross, but who am I to complain about hygiene? I was homeless a moment ago! I still am, but I might have enough for a hotel room if I don’t feel comfortable using their shower or bath…how do sentient ponies bathe?

Watching her drag the capes, one began sliding down underneath her hoof, slipping her up and causing her to roll forward. Being the excellent babysitter that I am, I use my magic to catch her. A green aura captures her before she can hit her head on the stairs. I can’t say the same for the capes which were flung downwards. They were cloth, so they were fine.

“Woah! Careful, stairs are very dangerous.” Mild scolding, rather than yell.

“I…thank you, Anon-e-mus!” Sweetie seems generally unshaken by the experience. She almost died stairs today. She stumbled on my name, but it’ll be fine.

“Just be careful next time. Why didn’t you use your magic to carry the capes?” I think they were capes. They look like very hastily stitched-together rugs or a blanket that hasn’t been repaired.

“I…um…my magic doesn’t work…” Why is she so quiet? Is it embarrassing? Is being magically mute a disability in this world? Oh god, it is, isn't it? Since unicorns are a race here, that means they do magic regularly. Therefore, Magic Muteness is real, and it’s embarrassing.

“Oh. That’s alright, don’t worry. So long as you keep trying, even a spark can start a fire.” I assume she can shoot sparks. I mean, it’s what magically mute individuals did in other worlds.

Since magic is highly volatile no matter the world, magic sparks are dangerous. If an active magic mute individual kept trying to cast a spell, their sparks would grow bigger, then bigger, then eventually they became explosives. Only when they can harness those explosions can they do the usual magic.

Magic is also a simple subject when broken down. You have three things: a medium, the mana pool in your body, and your veins. Magic muteness is caused by a blockage of magic in your veins, so if you could create a spark large enough to cause an explosion, that means you cleared your veins enough to allow magic to flow through. However, the process can take years of casting magic sparks before even casting a spell. Sometimes, it is in a matter of minutes, depending on skill, yet that only clears it for a short time, not wholly erasing the condition.

Hopefully, she can get help soon.

“I…I know.” She hung her head low as I set her down, still embarrassed about it. It hurts to see a kid do this to themselves.

“Don’t worry,” I brought over one of the capes and tied it around your neck. “You still got time.”

I just hope I’m getting to her. If I’m going to stay in this world, I want to see her improve, damnit!

“Yeah! Ah, think you can still do it, Sweetie Belle!” Applebloom was very supportive of her friend. It's rather sweet, actually. I also put the cape on the other two while I could. It just seems right. They’re having a moment.

“Right! We got each other!” Scootaloo, while headstrong, seems to do well.

“Thank you! Girls!” Sweetie pulled them into a hug before the three girls talked amongst themselves.

These kids are lucky to have each other. You know? No matter how many times I see it, best friends bring a warmth to my heart. Individually apart, but together strong. Something to that effect.

Perhaps I long for the same as well. You know what, after this, gotta make a friend! How hard can it be?

”Cutie Mark Crusader Lumberjacks! Yay!”

The trio separated, getting the things they needed to be a Lumberjack, apparently. Also, OW MY EARS AGAIN!

Opening the door to the exit, the trio rushed out. I grabbed the key from the potted plant and locked the door behind me. Seeing an open closed sign flipped to closed.

I turned around and stored the key in the pocket dimension for now and began to rush after the girls.

A quick jog to the woods, w. We found a tree that was skinny enough to be cut and other such nonsense. It’s just a tree the girls decided no one would miss.

Applebloom with the axe was up first. Holding the handle in her mouth, she reared back her neck and torso, giving a hearty swing, only for it to miss and the axe to fly off her mouth into the dirt.

At least it hurt no one.

Sweetie Belle was following after Applebloom. She held it in her mouth and began to turn her head to swing, not swinging her with her body. It struck wood but could barely make a dent—a valid attempt.

Scootaloo was up next. She used her oddly tiny wings to keep her upright as she buzzed. She gave rapid swings to the wood. It made some dents, but, uh, nothing was happening. It seems more at home with a woodpecker.

They kept cycling in and out. Applebloom would continue to miss, Sweetie Belle was far too gentle with the wood, and the woodpecker over there was making process, just plodding progress.

It wasn’t long before they panted, falling down to the grass as they were tuckered out. Not even 1/8th of the way through the tree, and they are already tired.

They would make terrible lumberjacks. As a test, I picked up the axe in my hooves. Inspecting it, I thought it was a real axe, but it was dull. Thank god Applebloom didn’t hit anyone with her aim.

“You girls tired?” I asked, looking at the pile of tired ponies.

“Yeah. It’s so hard!” Scootaloo complained.

“And I didn’t even get to say Timber!” She just flopped over to her side. I know how to make this right.

“Well. Perhaps it wouldn’t be.” I set down the axe and decided to do what I do best. Punch a tree.

“You made this easier for me…”

“Mister, you need the axe to cut down wood.” Applebloom sits up, tired, but won’t fight the process.

“Ora!” I punch the tree, the trio jolting up as I make a dent. “Ora Ora!” I need an extra two punches to get my body going.

Let’s do this! “Ora Ora Ora!” I repeat, punching the tree rapidly. Splinters are definitely digging into me, but that won’t stop me! Punch a tree! Get wood! Build a house! If these girls want to see what a lumberjack is about, I’ll let them deal with a fallen tree log.

“Scootaloo! Get ready!” I call out, punching the tree as hard as I can, getting through the wood.

“Oh! Okay!” She was getting giddy, ready to yell at the top of her lungs. I can feel it.

With my hooves ready, I twist my body to punch the last bit of a tree I can. A hoof reaching up and gently pressing on the tree. “Boop.”

As the tree creaks, I hear a very loud. “TIMBER!” From Scootaloo. Today was a good day.

I punched a tree for the second time today.

Questions, Stories, and ? - Edited!

You know, it’s awkward to carry three tuckered out Ponies on your back.

As a human anyway, but as a pony it’s quite simple. Just tucker one near my neck, one rests in the middle and carry the last one in my magic. Dunno, Scootaloo seems to be enjoying it, hearing the very fast buzzing of her wings as she pretends to fly is quite adorable. I don’t say anything though, she might get embarrassed.

Though, the stares I get from others is quite harsh.

My anxiety flaring.

A guy with kids? He must be up to no good. Oh no, Madam, I’m a babysitter. So you can be close to those kids you sicko!

Man, you’d think I’d learn how to think without hating myself.

With Scootaloo being gently set down I had to open up the pocket dimension to grab the keys. It was way safer to pocket them in there than under the plant. Gotta remember to put it back.

“Woah! What was that?!” I heard the voice of Sweetie Belle behind me, with her resting on the middle of my back.

“Uh. Pocket Dimension?” I point to the hole in the air. The other side was mainly static, but it still was holding my two books, proudly at the edge.

“Wow! Ah bet Twilight ain’t even know that!” Applebloom, you’re too close to my ears to be so loud. Since she’s on my neck and her chin resting on my head. Also, Twilight? Sounds like the resident mage type. Could learn something from them.

“I mean, it isn’t that complicated. Just rip a hole somewhere.” It was complicated, just became second nature at some point after learning it. It really is a useful spell to know.

“C-Can you teach me that spell once I get some magic out of my horn?” I don’t even need to be facing Sweetie Belle to see the eyes. I know they’re hopeful. Just…gah.

“Yeah. Sure. Why not?” I unlock the door and let them inside. The two girls hop down from my back and head upstairs, I decided to start following Sweetie Belle up. Rarity did say I could spend the night. I assume in her room. Any high class lady would want their room spotless after a visitor. So best to keep an eye for that.

“So what time do you girls usually sleep?” Had to ask, I know the routine I’m going to go through.

“Oh. Our usual foalsitters usually let us stay up all night!” Thank you Scootaloo. How did I know it was going to be you to say that line?

“Good thing I’m not the usual. I’m me.” I look at the walls, only for my eyes to find a wall clock. First of many modern advancements I see. That’s odd. Anyway it’s reading 8:49 right now. Best to put them to bed right now. I have no idea if it’s a school night, but if they’re staying together tonight it’s probably not.

Kids have school in small villages, right?

“So, about time to bed. Uh, soon I think.”

“Awwww.” The kids are sad now, good.

Though, what I wasn’t expecting was for all 3 to climb into the same bed side by side. That can’t be comfortable. Then again, they are small and that looks like a King Sized bed.

“I would tell you a story before you girls slept, but all the books I have on me is a spell book and a law book.” I stand over the middle of the bed. They’re oddly snug in there and it looks maybe comfortable. For tiny little horses.

“Oh! Oh! Ah know, can you tell us how you got that right there cutie mark mister?” Applebloom points to my bum, taking a glance at where she’s pointing meets me with the question mark I showed up with.

Well, if anything it just appeared on me, but cutie mark. Mark…what do they mean by a mark?

Oh, I think it’s like a seal or a sign signifying something. I’m not a stranger to magic symbols meaning something. What did they want me to say?

“I mean, it’s not that exciting.” Pretending to be bashful.

“Naw. It must be cool. Like you solved a mystery!” Thanks Scootaloo, not a detective.

“Or you’re good at hiding things!” Last time I tried to hide something I died Sweetie Belle, so probably not.

“Maybe ya learned yourself a secret spell! And you’re really good at that hole stuff.” Not that secret where I’m from. A few lives ago.

So, they might my Talent. Come to think of it, I’ve seen those symbols on everyone’s flank but theirs. Perhaps that’s what they’re going for, that thing. That’s what the whole lumberjack business is about, it’s about seeing what they’re good at and getting that symbol on their flank. What fits in with a question mark.

What do I say? I can’t lie to them. So might as well tell my tale of…uh.

I put my hoof to my chin and decide to think about it for a moment.

The kids tense up anxiously waiting my answer.

“If it helps you sleep. I’ll tell you.” I take a deep breath, sitting down and steeling myself for the tale.

“Yay!” Even tired, they’re still loud.

“So you see, back when I was younger. I was a traveller, hopping around place to place with folks that weren’t my parents.”

“So you’re an orphan?” Scootaloo interrupted.

“Nah, they’re still alive. Just haven’t seen them in a while. Anyway, so then I learned of a strong wizard who’s taking in an apprentice.”

“Woah…” An audience that reacts to my story with interested eyes. Finally.

“I never was the best…or used magic at all, but I still was excited about the possibilities. Learning under someone strong to because as strong if not better was appealing to me! So I had to sign up. Then I was brought into a chamber, with plenty of kids, adults, and everything in between. It was heart pounding, I kept thinking to myself. Maybe he’s looking for someone with potential, maybe that someone isn’t me, maybe I’m in over my head. Then when I was about to turn away to leave, I’m called up next.”

“Then I was bought into an office. The wizard, with his wizard hat and his cloak. Extended some sort of spell towards me, strange blue tendrils shot out and wrapped around my body, even still I felt a flicker in my heart. I now know he was using a detect magic spell to figure out how much I have, but still it was odd to feel something dig into me.”

I shook my head at the thoughts. Feeling an extra level of violated is not easy to remove. Nor the trauma is.

“Next thing I know I screamed and my magic burst from my body, rejecting the intrusion of being touched. Apparently that’s a very good reaction to it. It means my magic capabilities were unknown. No one knows if I have a limit, or if they can even find the source of my magic. An enigma of what my magic is or where it is. It’s Unknown.”

“I don’t know when this thing appeared afterwards, but I assume it has to be related to my magic. Either that or I’m just a confusing person myself and I always had it.”

Those were the days, one of my first lives when getting Isekai’d for the first time. I had nothing, ported into the body of an orphan to be enslaved by that wizard. Fuck you knock off Merlin! At least I lived bitch! I made sure your soul would stay in hell!

All that’s left is stunned silence by the girls. They looked down at my cutie mark and back at me.

“So your cutie mark is magic related?” Sweetie Bell seems to be the smart one here

“Yeah. I think so, these things are up to interpretation no? That’s why they’re symbols and not words.”

“I mean. Yeah. Thought you were a detective.” Scootaloo crossed her arms and sulked, then yawned.

These kids do not know the mental trauma I went through, good. They do not need to know.

“Well. It seems it’s time for bed. I could show you some magic tricks to squeeze the last bit of excitement out.” If my pocket dimension is unknown here, then I could use some other useful spells. For me at least.

“Hmmm. Okay…” Sweetie Bell. You’re getting sleepy~.

“Okay. Let’s see here.” Using my horn I snuff out the candles and focus myself. I can do this. If anything I should find this spell quite simple.

From my horn an aura surrounds it, as streaks of green light slowly fill the room with a beautiful somber light. Filing the roof of the bedroom with waving soft green light. Extra white dots line the roof as well with some slowly dissipating. It stings. I’ve used too much magic today. I should’ve short rested after using Magic Missile, would’ve helped me.

Looking up, I admire my work. I have created an Aurora Borealis in her bedroom. At this time of year at this time of day, in this part of the neighborhood, localized entirely in her bedroom. It’s quite nice.

“Woah…” the Fillies are watching as the sky slowly dances in her room.

“Sleep well little ones. I may not be here tomorrow, but put in a good word with your sister, okay? I wouldn’t mind watching over you three.”

“Okay!” The girls were happy, either at the prospect of a cool babysitter or the fact I can do that.

So yeah, I’m now Anonymous the Cool Babysitter.
Title pending.

Closing the door. I take a deep breath, poking my horn and feeling my eyes weigh down. I am definitely tired after that spell. Maybe I shouldn’t have made it last all night, whoops my bad.

Soon I found myself poking around, finding a broom close that is mostly fabric and no brooms. The bathroom with an extreme amount of conditioner, each a different scent, and shampoo, also different scents.

Using the bathroom, shower, I’ll just use the baby shampoo, use one of the many stack of towels. Hang it up. Then it’s showtime.

First I waited to dry off then I continued exploring. Finding the bedroom. It also had a workshop on the other end, I guess work is a priority.

It was nice to sleep in a bed the first night of any new world. It was nice. The velvet sheets were nice to sleep ontop of, and the pillows had lots of softness. Just absolutely sleeping on my stomach, limbs sprawled, it’s not good for my spine, it just feels correct.

Then I pass.

First day and night, successful. Next goal: A week.

In my dreams, I was running for my life. Tears from my eyes as I heard the thing get closer. It’s bloodstained finger tips inching closer to my back. As I heard him yell. “Come back here! You will have your soul devoured! Hahahaha!” It laughed,

Huh. Anyone else feel aware right now? Are my dreams usually this cringe? This could be the dream of a 12 year old for all I know.

Next thing I know I felt a dark blue light hit both of us.

I was back at home, sitting in front of my computer. Just scrolling through Twitter dot com. It was a nice reminder of what I lost.

I laugh at something funny, a tweet of triple demon dog attack! Written in Japanese and English. It was like a very cool reference to a show I watch. Haha! Relatable am I right?

Then I tried reading it again, only it was a little blurry. I can recognize that it says, but the details were fuzzy. Huh, wait the images are also blurry. That’s odd, and I hear the familiar ring of my phone.

Huh. Weird. This is a memory, but I’m aware…

Oh shit!

I quickly kick the chair I was sitting on away, causing myself to tumble downwards. I forgot to stand up. Quickly getting myself level using the table, I take a few steps back. Even in a dream, I could still fight back.

“Halt! We do not wish any harm!” A female voice called to me.

“Nope! Not trusting dream magic!” I called out, using the depths of my soul as my magic conduit, I forcibly woke myself up. Meeting morning.

My heart was pounding, my mana has recovered from overuse yesterday, but now, I’m back to being me. I didn’t have that much mana stored up when I was first woken up in this world. Now that I felt magic that wasn’t my own, my body reacts a certain way. Quickly absorbing any magic, then it adds to my own supply. It’s a weird ability, but saved my ass a couple of times. Doesn’t work against volatile bolts though.

Still, I’m probably gonna see the Dream Wizard tomorrow in my head, if she’s out in this town somewhere. Dream Magic has range…right?

With a quick glance at the window the moon is still out, best to try to sleep.

Eggs and Book Horse.

How…advance are these ponies?

I stare at the kitchen before me, this stove isn’t gas powered it’s magic powered. I can feel it, there’s a heating crystal somewhere embedded into the circuits. Yet there’s also electricity, it generates from yet another crystal.

There’s a fridge, dishwasher, blender, microwave, and, a sink all here. It’s way too modern, it’s been a while since I’ve entered a proper modern society. It’s nice to see there’s actual advancements in terms of technology with magic. I can assume they had no need to create microchips, who needs something to be sorted when a simple magic circuit does it for you?

I’m digressing, I still have 3 foals I need to feed. And one adult! I forgot to eat yesterday and I’m pretty sure that made the drained mana thing very difficult.

Digging into the fridge I see oddly cheap looking ingredients. I’d assume there’s a wine bottle in here somewhere, or it’s hidden.

So getting some eggs, biscuits, and oat hay. Hay is for horses. I start to fire them up on the grill. The oat hay oddly behaves like ground beef in this world, so I just made 4 patties with them. Put a sunny side up egg ontop the patty, then layer them into biscuits that have been cut in half. Bam! Breakfast Sandwich. Just some apple slices on the side and pour a good glass of milk. All part of a complete breakfast if I do says k myself. Horse food…I think I did well.

Gotta tell Rarity the damages. Once she comes back from whatever she’s doing. Not my place to know, though I do gotta ask about this Twilight person pony, pony-person. Anyone with spells is automatically useful to me, I learn more by example than with reading, then it becomes second nature once I can replicate it.

While I wait for the girls to come down I crack open one of the books I checked out. The law will be read and it will be understood!

Okay, some interesting points.

First off, it’s pretty standard with normal societies. It’s oddly progressive despite the government body being the Diarchy, the House of Nobles, and the Commons. With the Diarchy being the head of everything, being Judge, Jury, Law makers, and of course, diplomats. That’s a lot of duties, but they mainly hold Day and Night Courts, where they take suggestions from both the Commons and Nobles. It also says they raise the sun and moon, I mean I’m not doubting, but I am doubting. Should keep an eye on the sun and moon, if they’re actually raising it I can probably feel their magic.

The Nobles are the backbone of society, to get elected there is either through bloodline or work hard enough to become rich. There’s at least two nobles per city, with Ponyville’s representative being Filthy Rich and Spoiled Rich, formerly Spoiled Milk. The Noble’s mainly handle economic affairs and development in Equestria. They’re the ones who have developed technology, such as trains and the stoves. They also have a lead head for the nobles, some guy named Prince Blueblood. Fitting.

The Commons are the people, to be elected is to be chosen through democracy, and every city gets one per few thousand citizens. Ponyville being small it only gets one Mayor Mare. Another odd name, was she destined to be a mayor? They are the actual law makers, while the Diarchy can make the laws, it’s up to the Commons to enforce, amend, and implement laws. Usually through a democratic vote.

It also says a Noble can be elected as a Commons Spokespony, and vice versa. So dual classing is quite common. Such as with Jet Set, and Captain Spitfire. Though I’m not sure Wonderbolts Training camp counts as an actual town, I guess the Military does get special privileges.

It’s not a fantasy society without a class system.

Though, it seems the actual law book is quite basic. Don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t be this, don’t be that yadayadayada. Just don’t be a dick, is what I’m seeing. However the book was nice enough to include some humorous laws in a section about failed laws.

Like in Manehatten it was illegal to handle fish with evil intent. Since apparently the pegasi kept dropping live fish on ponies and it caused a panic, thinking it was the start of a tribal war. Fun times with Racism in a fantasy world, I’m so immersed!

And how you can’t kidnap a Stallion as a Mare, but it’s okay to kidnap a Mare as a Stallion. Apparently that law was implemented to fight declining male birthrates. It’s stable now of course, even if it’s 35%/65% in terms of male to female birth rates.

With that I close the book in my hooves, looking at the girls enjoying their breakfast. It was nice to see someone enjoy my cooking. Their plates are empty, bellies full I hope as they thank me for my cooking. Of course, I let it go to my head.

The other two left to go home as promised to their families and they set off. Leaving me and Sweetie Belle alone for a time.

“Hey, A-Anonmous?” She struggles to say my name, but at least she’s trying, getting it right enough for me to look down at her.

“Yeah?” Personally I was going to start digging into the magic book.

“What’s it like being homeless?” Asking the harsh questions right away when others are gone, well might as well be honest.

“Pretty boring, don’t recommend.” What do I say? I’ve only been homeless for a day in this world!

“So why move here?”

“It seems…” Why am I moving here? Other than the trial of seeing how long I last. Just say something cryptic. “Or rather it feels like my destiny to be here.”

“Yeah, lots of interesting things here happen all the time! Maybe you’ll be in one of them!”

Oh, fuck. I’m living in interesting times. That’s a bad prospect for my life. Usually when something interesting is happening in a fantasy world, it’s a monster attack, or a new princess emerges that destabilizes the country, or total war. Placing bets on new princess.

“Maybe. Maybe…” With the Dream Mage in my mists I’m sure I’m now the target of this interesting time already, I could jump ship and move to a new town, but no! I’m not running away! Hear me destiny! I don’t fear you! Come at me, take my life! I dare you! I double dare you mother fucker!

“Anonymous?” Hey she got my name right. “Why are you smiling at the ceiling?”

“Pulp Fiction.”

“What?”

“What?”

. . .

There was a knock at the door.

“Oh thank…” Almost said god, what is their god here anyway? The book wasn’t specific. “Gosh?”

I slowly pan my eyes to Sweetie next to me, only to see she wasn’t there. She was already at the door opening it wide open for her sister, which is Rarity, to walk in. Chatting amongst themselves as they walk inside.

It feels rude to intrude on family affairs so I’ll just turn over here. With a quick pan of the neck I look at one of the display dresses, on a mannequin but pony shape. ‘Wow that’s a very nice dress.’ I stare at a simple sundress, spaghetti straps and all. I’d wear that dress. Pink isn’t my color normally, neither is it with this fur color. I think I could get in black, no that would clash to much with my hair and I’d be monotone. Purple, deep dark purple to match my forest green fur. Perfect!

“Oh. See something you like?” I’m startled by a sudden voice behind me, it was Rarity. Having to quickly turn around, pretending I wasn’t taken out of focus. Though her clothes were also nice. With her wearing a traveling outfit. Blue really does work well on her, especially with her make up. Cause damn, that blue sweater and beret makes for a fun outfit to see.

“I am now.” I say as I stare at her outfit, quite captivating if I do say so. Wait, I shouldn’t be flirting this much! We just met, and I got nothing!

Giggling into her hoof she used her light blue magic to carry a small pouch from her…bag. Saddle bags, but without the saddle.

Anyway.

“Here’s your compensation, thank you for watching over my little sister, especially on your first night here.” She seems to really annunciate the ends of her sentences. Very noticeable with her accent. Very cute quirk.

Taking the small bag in my magic, I can feel it’s weight. I think about 20 coins are inside here. Besides a money pouch would actually be great for myself. I can’t exactly just flash my magic in front of the two, rather not get asked questions like with the kids. So just placed the bag on my back for now. Should probably learn that teleport spell soon, so it looks like I am not tearing a hole in reality.

“Thank you Rarity. I shall be on my way now. Have a good day now.” I give a small wave as I make myself towards the door, getting out of prim and pristine, now to the terrible outdoors. I forgot how medieval this place was for a moment. What modern comforts does to someone.

Still, I made my over to the library. A left here, a right there, across the bridge, near the central plaza. Here it is! I approach the wooden door and remembering yesterday prepare myself to knock this time around. Though I do hear someone speak from inside. Pressing my ear against the door, I got a few interesting glances in my direction from others, but I can shut them off.

“C’mon Twilight.” A very tomboyish voice was heard, it was like Scootaloo’s speaking tone only louder, and with slightly more confidence. “If he’s here in Equestria, let the fastest flyer in ponyville search every door in Equestria to catch this guy!”

“Rainbow, I can’t. I just can’t right now. I have so much to do, so much to research, we don’t know what he’s capable of, you’ve seen what happened to Luna this morning! It’s not like this stallion will come knocking on our door.”

A challenge! I shall oblige!

I knock on the door.

“Coming!” A familiar voice, the dragon’s voice. Opening up the door for me.

“Hello!” flash my best neutral face as I’m met with a Cyan and rainbow haired pony and the purplest purple pone to ever purp…le.

“Wait a second! That guy? How’s he dangerous?” The cyan pony points to me. “He looks kinda scrawny.” With her quickly flicking towards me and inspecting me up close. I didn’t appreciate that.

“Rainbow!” A sudden violet mist tugged the girl’s tail. Pulling her away from my presence.

“You!” She looked at me.

“Me!” I have no idea what’s happening, but apparently I did something bad already. Is that a new record? Yes it is! Second day here and I’m already in trouble! Let’s go! “The very same…uh…bad pony you were looking for.”

“See? He’s evil, he’s admitting it. Now if you just.” Rainbow there was already picking a fight with me.

“Rainbow, we can do this diplomatically. After all Luna said she startled him.”

“Princess Luna?” I asked, her name was mentioned in the law book after all, her counter part being Celestia.

“Yes. You caused her magic to stop flowing with whatever you did.” Purple Smart explained.

“Huh. Neat. Didn’t think Vow of Silence worked on dream walkers. I just wanted her out of my head. Don’t worry it’s only temporary, like 4 hours max.”

“You caused a delay for the moon to lower!” Purple kept going. Not my greatest moment. Since I can already see where this is going. I somehow stopped the magic of someone who can carry a giant fuck off rock in space with magic. They accuse me of being a heretic, or a traitor to the crown. I get thrown in jail, I either break out or end myself to continue the cycle.

I’m gonna try to guess her next line, just to see if I’m correct.

“Surrender yourself to the crown!”
“Can you say you’re sorry?!”

We both yelled at the same time. Only for both of us to pause.

“I owe an apology?”
“You’re a prince?”

Huh…

Interesting things indeed Sweetie Belle.

Author's Note

I have no idea what I’m doing, but the criticism is actually helping. Thanks y’all!

Intrusive Interrogations Interrupt Important Independent Ideas.

It’s all coming together now. Me being in this book horse’s house. Purple Smart? I’ll think of a funny name for you later. Rainbow Dash on the other hand, I assume she’d be offended if I called her Dashie. I’d bet three of the gold coins on my person that her parents called her “My Little Dashie.”

Oh, they’re approaching, and where did the sunglasses and police caps come from? The lights have suddenly gone dim despite being the afternoon. Also, there’s a spotlight suddenly. Wait, it’s a good cop, bad cop routine. They don’t end well for me, can’t help bringing me into shit.

“So,” Purple began, “we heard you’re a powerful wizard. If you’re able to mute Luna’s magic for four hours that means you’re-“

“A spy!” Rainbow dash interjected. “A spy out to stop the princess and take over Equestria!”

“That sounds more like a crown traitor out for a coup than a spy.” Is she overloaded with ideas from her own imagination. Or does that normally happen around these parts. “But I am not a spy. This Luna was in my dreams, I panicked and turned off magic.”

“Princess Luna.” Purple guided her friend down from flying for a bit to meet us at eye level.

“Right.” I glance over at Rainbow, even with the shades I can still tell she has a glare at me.

“So, she would like to extend a formal apology for frightening you, and I think you should do the same for shutting down her magic.” Oh, that sounds reasonable, if I was stupid. I know the ruse.

“Right, and then you’ll get me surrounded by powerful mages when we meet with the princess and I’ll be captured.” I’ve been captured by a princess before. At first it was really good, then came the torture. Pretty sure I died after that.

“W-What? No, the princess wouldn’t do that!” Purple is astonished by my assumption.

“Then I can send a letter or something.” I lean back in my oddly comforting pile of hay. “Probably might go into my head tonight anyway. So, might as well wait until she does.”

Dream magic. I hate it. It’s nothing personal, actually it’s very personal, I don’t like it when people are in my head. At first I learned how to use it so I could get lucid dreams every night. I used those lucid dreams to remember my original life, my family, my friends, and everyone who I loved in these Isekai worlds.

Then I found other dream mages. At first it was neat, every world hat at least someone in the dream realm. Usually an ancient dragon, or a wise old wizard who just likes to watch. Then I found one who actively messes with people.

They messed me up. Hard. Scrambling my memories away, forcing some of them into suppression. I don’t know why they did that. I wanted to remember my family, now I can barely remember their faces. It’s never good to go into a memory of your little sister being born and meeting the same face on everyone. It sucks.

I vowed to never enter the Dreamscape again, I don’t want a repeat of that. Now that I’m probably going to be confronted by a dream mage, it’s not going to end well for me is it?

“That’s probably what she’ll do.” Purple snapping me out of my sulking, they probably noticed my twinge of emotion. Didn’t want to grimace at the thoughts, but I can’t control my emotions that well.

“So, could I send her a letter instead? So I can give her a heads up to talking in my dreams.” Seems reasonable, I hope.

“I uh, yeah. Glad this worked out!” Purple took off her shades and police hat and placed them somewhere. To be fair, I didn’t know what she was going to do, but I assume she’s going to give me some parchment and I hand it over to the mailman.

“SPIKE!” She called, her entire body facing the stairs.

Soon the little dragon from yesterday comes from upstairs, munching on something. I can’t smell it, but I can tell from here that it’s probably rock candy judging from the sounds.

“Yeah?” His mouth was full, some shards of blue spewing from his lips.

“Take a letter. We’re going to send Luna message.”

“Okay!” He quickly swallows anything in his mouth and draws a quill and parchment. Where he was hiding those I have no idea.

There’s me wondering why she couldn’t write the message herself, telekinesis works wonders for writing. Probably some nerdy reason like shorthand notes. Fucking nerd. God I love nerds.

“Dear Princess Luna.” She paused, looking over at Spike to see if he was writing it down.

“The pony that has cut your magic off temporarily in the dream world, has given permission for you to enter his mind tonight.”

“Permission for you…” Spike was reciting the words as he written down.

“From, Twilight Sparkle.” I know her first and last now, still gonna call her Purple it fits her. I wonder how they’re gonna send the letter?

With an inhale, the dragon breathed fire on the letter the embers forming into a mist of ash and soot. A gentle breeze suddenly emerged, guiding the formation out of the window and heading towards the castle. Magic fire, got it.

“Neat.” I said quietly. I doubt they heard me, so o decided to just pull out the law book from the pocket dimension.

Purple did notice it, her eyes wide opened in surprise. Guess no one bothered to use a pocket dimension to carry things here, or seen one. Wait, then where did the dragon…?

. . .

Ew.

“I checked this out yesterday, just came to return it.” Was a good book. Learned that it’s legal to have polyamory. Not looking for a harem, but if I get one it’s legal. Though, it’s legal in a lot of fantasy worlds so the idea of a harem lost it’s charm on me.

“R-Right. One second.” Stumbling on her words for a moment, she opens up the book and began to write something in the little sleeve behind the cover of the book. “Name?”

“Anonymous.” The interrogated. Lost title rights for being the coolest babysitter to a pink pony. How she got the rights is beyond me, also how did I know her?

“Hey, that’s a name a spy would use!” Rainbow is pushing it.

“Thats my birth name you…uh…prismatic pest.” Glaring at her, I was almost at my limit, but maybe instead of hurting her I could do something else. Make her hair invisible, steal a feather, or use gravity to ground her. All these possibilities, but I’ll hold for now, make her throw the first punch.

“Rainbow. We got what Luna needed from him.” Purple being the voice of reason seems fitting.

Aw. I wanted a fight, MOM!

“Fine.” She takes off the shades and hat, tossing them aside to a corner before making a gesture at me. Her hoof pointing at her eyes, then back to me. I knew an ‘I’m watching you’ when I see one, even with hooves. I just gave a curt in response.

With her departing out of an open window. Purple placed the book on a pile. I assume for Spike to put away, the art of delegation still strong.

Now I’m just left here alone with Purple and Spike.

“So…” Taking a crack at the ice. I needed something. “Any of you know a hotel around? I ain’t got a place to stay tonight.” Anonymous the Homeless is being retired, besides I don’t need the title anyway.

“There’s one by Quills and Sofas.” Spike was the one to perk up, I assume he does the chores while Purple does the…reading?

“That’s an odd combination of items to sell…”

“They sell a whole bunch of stuff, like ink.” Spike, you’re making this really hard for me to Ken here.

“Just the one example?”

“I don’t buy the sofas, just the quills and ink.” Spike would be fired immediately as an advertisement agent.

“Right, I’ll be on the lookout for a giant sofa, and quill I guess. See you?” I gave a small wave to the two.

Purple looks like she was going to ask me something, but I quickly got out of there as soon as I could.

Should probably get something to eat before going to the hotel. Celery will do today, just order takeout for any protein.

Taking down to the market I head towards the stalls. It’s busy today, I assume due to some rush for the delay of the moon. So shifting through the crowds as best I could I grabbed my coin pouch from the pocket dimension and bought some celery stalks. It costed me two bit per bundle of celery, so I got two, I had some money.

Then I met a familiar little scamp, Applebloom was sitting next to a orange pony with a hat, and a fucking huge dude. Holy shit man, that dude was easily twice my strength and then some. Was the red his fur or his bulging muscles exposed? I like what I see.

Wait, now’s not the time. Just go up and buy their shit, probably apples. I’m guessing apples because of Applebloom’s name. If they’re all Apple related somehow I’m going to eat that hat.

“Oh. Hello?”

“Howdy dere partner, what can I get for ya’?” The orange was the talkative one. Big red over there was just looking at me with extremely gentle eyes, he just seems so lax and calm. If I was into men, I would, so drinking buddies will do.

“Just looking for something to buy. What you got for me?”

“Well, we got Apples of all kinds, and we have some of our own Granny’s apple pies. Woo wee. You haven’t lived until you’ve taken some bites out of mah granny’s pie.” Huh, the pies do smell good. I can even see the smoke lines above them. She does make a good sales pitch.

Applebloom seemed to have noticed my gaze and began to blow the wind into my direction, giving me a good whiff of apple pie goodness.

“Aight. I’ll bite, how much for a pie?” I’m ready for this to be a little expensive. I got a total of 34 coins left.

“About 10 bits!” The orange mare was excited for some reason. I guess all salesperson are the same.

“Okay. Here you go.” Using my magic, and some funny counting. I gave her ten coins in two five count piles. She took the bits and slid one of the pies toward me. It’s not that big, but damn it smells good.

“Pleasure doing business with ya partner!” I should learn orange’s name soon. If not only to get close to red. Who’s been looking at someone. It’s sad to lose someone’s attention when you like them, won’t cry over it just a little saddened.

Heading out, and when I was out of sight of the crowd I stored my food in the dimension. It’s removal from existence should keep the food ripe for longer than a fridge. At least I hope, haven’t gotten food poisoning from food from there yet. Plus it’s really easy for me to open and close my pocket with the horn. I didn’t have to be carrying a wizard staff on me at all times for now!

Following Spike’s not great directions I found Sofa and Quills, a very specialized store, and right next to it I see Berry Punch’s Hotel and Bar, adorned with grapes on the sign. It seems important for me to enter and rent a room.

So heading into the front desk room, I could see it also doubles as a bar at the end. I see a pony, that can only remind me of the color of wine when spilt on a white shirt, tending the bar. I assume this is Berry Punch. There’s three other ponies here, but they didn’t seem important.

Heading over to the register I waited for a moment and voila Berry came over.

“Hey.” Her voice was slow, like an alcoholic speaking, yet didn’t have the slurring. Almost as if she mastered the speaking part. “Are you here to rent a room or buy a drink?” She reeks of grapes, which usually isn’t a bad smell, but she absolutely reeks of it.

“Rent.” I hope the prices for staying at a hotel overnight isn’t too expensive. So, slowly I pulled out my coin pouch and waited.

“It’s gonna be 8 bits per night.”

“That’s perfect actually.” 24 bits left, enough for 3 nights. I’ll buy two for now, keep the extra 8 for emergencies. I do need a job still, and that job Rarity promised hasn’t come true yet.

With a couple seconds of waiting I got my room key and exit outside. The hotel was organized like a motel, a balcony connecting the upstairs, and all the doors facing the streets. Only two stories each with 5 rooms. I guess this place isn’t that popular to hold too many ponies. So entering my room of 104, that being the bottom floor, I settled in, finding it quaint. A single twin bed, a night stand, a couple of hanging shelves, closet, and a bathroom. No TV, or stove, or microwave, so I guess it’s just enough to live. I’ll afford modern luxuries later, I’m just glad to have a bed.

Flopping down on the bed, I quickly obtained the Magic book I have yet to read and decided to just go through it. Oddly enough, it had the same words as every other magic nonsense, only this time it’s called a Magic Source for the horn rather than a Medium, I guess when you’re naturally born with the ability to cast magic there’s no point in calling it a Medium, I mean others call it a Catalyst as well but whatever. So with the simple translation. I’m able to understand something.

I’ll just keep reading until I pass out.

I’ll give this Luna one chance to explain herself. Then if it’s positive, I’ll stay, if it’s not, then I’m ready to become the leader of a coup attempt. Gotta make my mark on the world somehow.

Dream Walking Princess - Edited!

I am not ready.

I’ve been distracting myself with celery and a really good apple pie. Never was a fan off apple pie, but they got a new one now.

Still, it’s disheartening me, I have to talk with Princess Luna, if anything the law book, and my experience as taught me, is don’t fuck with Royalty too hard. They’re Royalty for a reason, many of them have insanely overpowered abilities, at the behest if whatever god they worship. Never in my travels have I met a Royal who’s able to move the sun and moon. So this could be interesting, I could…

No.

I’m not going to do that until I have some more information. I’m still a baby in this realm, only been here for two days. Just close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

With my eyes shut, I wait. Snuggly tucked into a bed of crumbs and celery stalks.

I’m waiting to sleep…

…

The tension is killing me.

Just, a drowsy spell.

…

That’s it!

With warmth from my horn I hit myself with a sleep spell, it has come really handy to use against bouts of insomnia. Its not exactly comfortable to get hit with one, it feels like a slap across the face and then I’m out like a light.

I draw my bow, aimed directly at the head of the monster of the village. It’s invigorating, my hands are steady as my breathing, my heart is pounding in my chest and, I love it! The thrill of hunting.

Letting the bow string go, the arrow flying free with a quick flick I felt something was off, the arrow seems to whiz by the head of the creature, missing completely.

Wait this ain’t right, I remember this. This was the one time I chose to be a ranger, I never did choose ranger again. I wonder why.

Then I heard the monster roar at me, I couldn’t remember what it looked like so on my end it was a large shadowy creature with red piercing eyes. It was quickly charging me on all fours.

I remember now, I suck at ranger. Hey is that monster getting closer? Oh shit!

Kicking off the tree I was hiding behind, the creature swiped where I was, it’s claws getting stuck in the bark as it roared at me. Trying to get itself free.

Drawing another arrow I needed to quickly do this. Fuck it, using magic. Tried and true STICKS TO SNAKES! So throwing a bundle of sticks that transforms into snakes, each of them biting down on the beast. It was a strange sight, no blood, no carnage, the snakes took one bite then poof it’s gone.

Odd happenings in this forest, but is this really the monster that has been terrorizing the village some time now?

Wait a second. This isn’t right…I’m a human, but I haven’t died yet. What is, oh right, dreaming, duh.

Using my magic, I quickly found myself out in the dreamscape. It’s different in each realm, though the night sky littered with the dreams of the other beings in this world is quite a sight. Looking back at my dream, it dulled into a gray before closing in on itself. I guess when I’m not dreaming it doesn’t exist out here.

Looking at myself, I’m back in my pony form. It’s a strange feeling to be back in this form but it’s okay.

With a sigh, I began to hover around, trying to find this Princess Luna, the book didn’t show a picture of her, nor did I remember seeing her yesterday, so this is going to be my first meeting face to face with the pony princess.

I wonder what she looks like, if it’s moon related then either white or blue. Not like an icy blue, probably the color of the night sky, then again even that has variations.

“Ahem.” A feminine voice rung behind me, I guess I was distracted by my thoughts.

“Oh. Sorry was distracteeeeeeeeeeeeee-“ My brain sputter as I turned to face the princess. W-why am I finding a horse cute? How the fuck am I going to function if the hormones in this pony body is making me find the horse cute? Fuck it, I’ve seen to much to be close minded, we shall love the horse!

The Princess far exceeded my expectations, navy blue fur, with cosmic flowing hair giving me the vibes of a night sky. Then there was the mark, sure it was ink on a crescent moon, I could feel an odd touch of dark magic, but it just blended in well with her body. Silver accessories adorned her, silver horseshoes, silver neckpiece, and a dark iron crown. Plus the large horn and her great wings, oh boy she’s a hybrid of all 3 ponies isn’t she? She is beautiful. I can admit.

“Prithee, thou art staring upon our visage.” Oh, she speaks in Ye Olden talk. Fuck that’s —okay steel yourself you got a puppy crush upon meeting a princess, besides she probably has dozens of suitors vying for her attention, or hand in marriage.

“My apologies.” Snapping myself back to reality, or dream reality I guess. “My lady, I have to ask. Why did you invade my dreams?”

“Invade? We assure thee, we did no such thing. We are the vanquishers of nightmares.” Her hoof pressed against her chest, standing proud. I guess that makes sense.

“Then what did you do?” It’s make or break. At least she’s to the point.

“But when we tried to vanquish the foul nightmare, plaguing the dream. You were caught in the blast. Normally this would’ve woken thou up, however. The dream self absorbed our magic, forcing your mind to create a new dream. We wished to help thee, but your soul rejected our help and sealed our magic.” Oh the explanation.

“Not much of a nightmare, just a little thing I may have exposed myself as a kid. I guess it still kinda haunts me.” Yes, I was scared of Sonic dot executable file. Don’t judge me, I was stupid.

“I assume you mean the genre of horror?”

“Not much of horror anymore. It’s kinda cringe looking back on it. No idea why it keeps popping up, it’s weird.”

“And what of thy’s absorption of magic? Very few have the talent to absorb magic, and with the exception of one, none of them can absorb Alicorn magic. Only Alicorns can handle Alicorn magic.” She inspects me closely. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was getting flustered with the inspection.

“I uh, just can I guess. It’s something I always could do.” I watched her circle me, as if trying to get a read on me. “It does hurt do absorb magic, I just have to focus on it. It’s hard to focus on absorbing magic when in pain, or under the effects of another spell.”

“Then how did thee absorb my magic if thou weren’t aware?”

“Well if it directly aims at my soul. It’s automatic.”

“Hmm.” She seems satisfied with my answers. I’m not a danger to her or anyone else at least. I’m guessing the absorbing she’s talking about is directly stealing from another source. Since mine is more of a defensive ability. It should keep a target smaller on my back.

“Also. I apologize for my misdeeds from yesterday. I didn’t think my silence spell would affect you for that long.” To be fair, Vow of Silence mutes my magic for a little bit as well, though magic absorption makes it last not as long.

“Tis’ okay our little pony. Thou are given forgiveness for thy misdeeds.” She gave me a small smile, I guess she was expecting one. Just not one so abruptly.

“Well. Uh. Now what?”

“We wish to extend our apologies to you, we are sorry for interrupting your slumber.” Oh, she apologized as well. Haven’t seen a Royal apologize for anything since….ever really, now that I think about it. Also slightly dropping the ye olden speech, nice!

“I accept this apology.” With a smile, we’re stuck staring at each other. If I pop out of the dream realm now, I’d be awake. So might as well enjoy her company while it lasts.

“Forgive us, it has been a spell since we’ve last had someone in the dream realm with us. How do you know about the realm?”

“Oh. I just learned dream magic to take a look at my memories when I sleep. It helps to remember my family.” Gotta be honest, lying to the face of a Royal leads to the guillotine.

“Thou hast a pure cause to study dream magic, but we must ask. How long have you been studying dream magic? Tis only been a year since we’ve returned, and would like to know more about any advancements we should brush up upon.” A Royal we, me and the crown. Great, I might have to be face to face with more royalty, though I guess giving Luna some extra…wait a year? Returned? Returned from what?

“I must ask princess, what exactly did you return from?”

“Oh. Thou hasn’t heard?” I haven’t so I shook my head in response.

“Well. We…ahem. I mean…me…we’ve been Nightmare Moon for a millennia, with our visage being sealed on the moon.” Oh, she’s a thousand years older than me? But she looks like she could easily be 30 years old. What does this mean? Sealed on the moon? She was stuck up there? Magic imprisonments does shut off your mind, so it’s like a nap.

“Ah. I guess that explains the whole…dark magic I can feel from you.”

“We understand that dark magic as well, it has formed around our cutie mark when our emotions got the better of us and we descended into nightmare moon.” Understandable, I should stop asking about it. Knowing she has a demonic form is good enough information to me. Plus, it’s honestly pretty rude to dig into this sort of thing.

“I…apologize for asking about something that personal.”

“We accept. It only seemed fair after an examination of thee.” Yeah, fair. My head does hurt.

“Would thou please consider any advancements in dream magic a gift to us? We would like to know if our methods have fallen behind the times. As the protector of dreams, we shall not let anymore nightmares fall upon our citizens.”

“Yeah. Why not, better to do so in person. I think, I don’t have a house at all or anything. I’m homeless.” Anon the Homeless title in question here.

“Oh, truly? A practitioner in dream studies such as thou are homeless?” She leans in getting close to me, shock across her face.

“Yep.”

“This cannot be. Please, meet with Twilight again. We shall send thou a ticket to Canterlot.” She seems very adamant about this…

“Wha?”

“No time. It’s bound to be morning. Sleep well thine little pony.” With a quick flash she’s gone.

“What?”

I woke up, sitting up on the bed and looking out the window. It’s morning.

I guess I’m doing a tutor session with a princess. Should I teach her all the memory stuff, or just the decent parts? Is there anything she knows I don’t?

Fuck if I know.

I guess I’m heading to Canterlot today. Using my pocket dimension I quickly obtain the pie and finish it off. Tossing the tinfoil in the garbage. Though the celery sticks do give me some sort of relief.

And a shower, with the tiny baby shampoo bottle. Yeah!

Morning prep done. Now to head outside. This is moving to fast. It’s only been two days and I’m already meeting a Royal. At least she’s nice.

Usually whenever I meet royalty it’s oddly quick in my Isekai life. They’re usually the first actual family I meet. Royals are a mixed bag, but one thing stays consistent with my relation with them. I’m always in confidant with at least a princess or a prince, usually both. I don’t know why, it’s almost as if they’re drawn to me.

Hell, the story I told the crusaders wasn’t the entire story. After being enslaved by that wizard guy, a prince actually came and rescued me. I wish I remembered his face, because he’s the guy I strive to be.

Strong, charismatic, happy…

I just don’t know his name, or face anymore…

I just want to remember…

I want to remember so much…

Maybe Luna can help fix me. This could benefit us both.

It’s my destiny to be around princesses. So I shall oblige!

Author's Note

I am trying my best!

Train Tracks

A morning routine done, is a morning routine done…something. I don’t know any sayings, I’m just pulling them out my ass! I don’t have a donkey either!

Taking my room key with me, I head down to the streets of Ponyville. Now that I think about it, it is a strange name. The main race living here then the ville suffix. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a Dragonville, or a…Humanville. Humanville sounds stupid, but it’s probably real. God knows I’ve been in way too many WinterHolds in many worlds.

How do you hold winter?

Anyway, marching on down to the local Library, I didn’t hear anyone on the other side so I just knocked. Gave it a second, heard nothing, and then entered. Kicking the door forward. Only to hear an “Oof!”

Whoops. That’s two now.

“Oh crap. Sorry Spike!” I quickly entered and pushed the door off of him using my magic. Poor guy was dizzy seeing Rarity circling him. How am I seeing that?

“Aw don’t worry.” He shook his head until he was seeing straight then stood back up. “What brings you in today?”

“Well. I’m taking a train ride to Canterlot. So I was wondering if I could bring a book with me when I come back.” I wonder what to get. There’s always magical studies I could partake in, but teleportation was kinda useful to know.

It’s basically imagine a place, light horn and then force yourself into that place. It’s quite literally overwriting reality but you chose the position of yourself. It was quite painful to learn, I teleported myself into my own bathroom wall way too many times. Still, I do need to keep the book on me, I am still studying.

Maybe a fun book would do, Daring Do was over there, something about a Volcano and an Idol. could take the body language book, it’s useful to control my outward emotions as much as I could. I got it.

“What kind of book are you checking out today then?” I just realized. Spike is wearing a pink apron. It really clashes with his colors a little bit.

“Just looking something about dream magic.” It could be a good place to start.

“Right on it!” This little dude is fast about getting books. He already placed the book on dream spells on the table in the center.

“If you don’t mind. I have some chores to do. The gems await me!” He holds a duster high like a sword as he continues what he was doing earlier.

“Right. I’m gonna hang here for a bit.” Sitting on the hay chair, I opened up the book on dream magic. I do need to be here to meet Twilight. Getting train tickets from her is odd, but I assume it’s via—do I hear someone’s stomach growling?

I turn around to see Spike hold his mouth shut with a first before belching loudly as green embers flowed from his mouth. The ashes swirled for a bit before turning into a letter, apparently it was addressed to me, I assume so, I doubt anyone wants to send a letter to another Anonymous.

“Oh hey! It’s for you! How did it get through me?” He sets the letter down to my book I had opened. I didn’t even get to read it yet.

With a quick close of the book, quickly ripping open the letter to read the contents inside. The letter was a pass to enter the castle grounds, and a singular train ticket. Apparently a round trip ticket, didn’t know they had those here.

“Huh. Neat.” Convenience at it’s finest. Sitting up and holding all the contents with my magic, and tossing the scrap letter into a trash can, I set out for the train station.

I heard hoofsteps behind me and a “Spike, did the princess send a-“ then she was too far for me to hear once I closed the door behind me on my way out.

I don’t know where the train station is, all I know is to follow the tracks at the edge of town to the station. So once I found those I went right first, onto to find no station and it just leads next to the spooky forest. I kinda want to go in there to see what’s in there. Not now of course, but treasure surly awaits in there.

Turning around, I followed the tracks to the left this time. Finding it quite empty guess I’m a little early. I could just teleport to Canterlot, only issue is where it is.

It could be that castle on the mountain there, but I doubt anyone wants a strange green guy to come in and be there. Also, still new with teleportation, I could end up inside someone and kill them with a telefrag. It would also kill me, so, I’ll wait until I know how to teleport, or at the very least learn how to open a portal.

Guess I could’ve asked for a world atlas…

Fuck! Could’ve asked for that instead!

Oh well. Handing my ticket to the guy sitting at the booth he called some rude words then handed the ticket back. It apparently was supposed to be given to the conductor not the ticket booth guy. Whoops.

Also, I learned a slur! Thanks dude!

Now who do I call someone’s horn an extended goose egg when it’s appropriate? Also a Pinhead.

Anyway. The train eventually came, it’s very pink, could’ve been red. Red make thing faster.

Boarding the train and taking a seat, I took out my dream magic book to look over while on the ride. According to the overhead voice the ride will take 6 hours.

That’s a long ass time to be killing time. Hopefully it’ll be a fun ride. I hope. Gods this is going to be a while.

Good news! I’m alive! Bad news! I’m still on this train, it’s only been 1 hour and I’m already so bored! I thought being on a train would be neat and a good chance to see the scenery, but there’s nothing but blue skies and green hills! It’s beautiful but when you see the 60th hill it makes you want to kill to see at least a tree in the foreground.

But I digress. The book on dream magic is very light. It’s missing a lot of components of dream magic. It’s missing the memory viewing, mind manipulation, the dreamscape itself, and a whole lot of miscellaneous things. All it really teaches you is how to enter your own dreams at will, and how to enter other’s dreams. The Dreamscape makes it way easier to enter other’s dreams, but I guess if Luna was the only one there with me in that black void then it probably means she’s the only one who can actively enter it.

Also, didn’t those girls say something about cutie marks meaning talent? So if I’m guessing this right, her talent of dark magic and the moon means she’s literally all aspects of the night. Sleeping, Darkness, Shadow, Moonlight, and the Occult are probably things she’s already good at. So why am I going to visit her? I could’ve easily told her in the Dreamscape!

Am I trying to talk myself out of visiting a princess? Yes. Am I going to talk to her in person anyway? Also yes. Very much so.

Am I going to be captured by some very cool ponies and told that I’m a danger to national security? I’m filing that under maybe, the coup attempt will sing wildly if they try!

Anyway, gonna go read on teleportation magic now.

3 hours of sitting on a train doing nothing. I don’t even have anyone to talk too, the girls sitting on the other side of the isle from me haven’t spoken a word to me, and I’m way too socially awkward to strike up a conversation without a method of getting out. At least a method I’m consistent on.

I’m not going to practice teleportation magic on a moving train, because I like being able to breath, but the book was helpful. It was just a lot of reinforcement of what teleportation is, I could do instant teleportation, but I never was good at those types of spells. However, Portals? Yeah, that’s my thing. I’m super good with portals. The portal magic I use to enter my pocket dimension is similar, but I still have to imagine the place I’m going to enter.

Plus it came at the nice price of not risking my life, still portal travel is part gravity magic which, according to the book, is very difficult not even the most skilled non-magic talented unicorn could do well. I guess my cutie mark is carrying me through this world. Fuck if I know what it means.

The ? has had me confused for a while. What does it mean? What does it do? Why is mine so simple compared to everyone else’s?

Then I realized, I’m not of this world, so it probably defaulted to a ‘base’ design and gave me this. It just feels right to call this a generic design, I’m not overtly handsome, I’m middle of the road while still looking appealing. I’m a shade of green that looks like the color of grass. My hair is jet black, yet oddly fluffy despite being straight hair, and my tail curls at the end, the swish it makes when I sway it side to side does feel correct.

I assume my eyes are green, it’s the color of the aura of my magic. I’ve noticed it around, the color of the magic matches the eye color, I haven’t seen an exception to this rule yet, so I’m just gonna assume it works as such.

Looking at my hoof I wondered how I was able to grab things despite lacking fingers. Anytime I flex my ‘fingers’ I felt a strange pulse of magic at the end I’m guessing I also have short range telekinesis, whatever works for me.

Resting my head back I stare outside. This is a long ride.

Finally! After 6 hours of monotony and pain, I’m finally here at Canterlot!

This place is huge, and the castle is off in the distance. Still a while away from my position.

HOW DO I GET THERE?!

Author's Note

Hecking Canterlot. I don’t know how to describe you other than visit Joe.

Joe is a bro.

Lost In Canterlot - Edited!

This place is very confusing. I thought I would end up at the castle by following the main road. You know, a route usually in the center, large enough for anyone to go by with carts.

I am staring at the pearly ivory white pavement and its blinding effects on my eyes. Why does it have to be noon? I spent my entire morning on a train, and I didn’t even eat!

I do have eight bits left from my whole shopping spree. With my hairstring budget, I am going to need food. I am just going to ask for a super tiny ultra favor for food at the castle when teaching Luna about the advancements of dream magic, and by advances, I mean dozens of lifetimes of dream magic practice from other realms.

It counts as advancement. I think.

I could go completely hobo and dig through garbage, but I feel like I'm not getting any food poisoning today.

Taking a trot forward, I keep an eye on the locals here. It’s overwhelmingly unicorns. I can barely make out an average pony or even any flying ones. I’m guessing they’re just not around if horse racism is real. At least it’s reaching all the hallmarks of a Good Fantasy Realm: Magic, Racism, and Royalty. It all works. It just needs a dash of war, methinks.

With my trek to the castle being interrupted by an empty road, I thought it was to make room for something. Then I stepped to the side to follow the crowd, eyeing the middle of the road to see what was happening.

The crowd roared as a golden carriage passed by. I could only force myself through a small gap in the group to see what was happening. Only to spot what can only be described as a living goddess of horse people. Pure white fur dawned upon the body, and gold accessories filled her body. The shoes, the tiara, the neckpiece, it was all magnificent. That doesn't even start with her hair, a flowing beauty of pure magic, with the cool colors flowing wonderfully upon her visage, giving the world a flash of color. She is Celestia, isn't she? The crown, the insane aura of magic I am feeling and possibly absorbing from her, is too strong. I feel like I’m set on fire just being here, and that’s not the burn of powerful magic. It's the blush on my face.

In terms y'all can understand, I really want to meet this pony personally, get to know her, do some—hold on. Don't think about that stuff. You can go about worship later. Now is the time for moving, not gawking.

Moving backward and ensuring I don't bump into something, I shift to the sidewalk again. My adventure to the castle will be a long one.

With a growing stomach, I had to stop, looking around before I pulled out my bit bag. Lunch is a priority. I am hungry.

I wandered a bit, going past restaurant after restaurant. I stop at a building that is on the corner of the block. This place is empty and doesn't have a lot inside. Looking up at the sign, it says “Pony Joe’s.” Taking a minor risk, I enter. A bell above the door frame rings as a caramel-colored unicorn looks up at me with a smile.

“Welcome!” He announced. The friendly demeanor of this guy was just infectious. I can't help but feel welcome to this place. “What can I get for ya?”

With my eye wandering to the menu I look around. A doughnut is four bits. I can get two of the sugary circles to satiate myself. If this place is as modern as I think, there's possibly a water fountain for me to drink from.

So it was a deal: I met Joe, bought doughnuts, and now I feel so much better after eating. It was a good day.

I’ve reached the neighborhood section of Canterlot. Far from the shopping district, I was wandering around. However, the houses here are pretty nice. They remind me of suburban homes, and the higher the house is on the mountain, the richer it seems. Plus, the closeness to the castle helps as well.

With my eyes staring up at the castle, I bumped into someone. I saw a flash of white fur before stumbling to the ground, quickly gaining my footing and looking up at a huge stallion. The dude was massive and oddly fluffy.

“Sorry, dude!” His voice seems calm, almost as if talking to an older brother.

“Nah. It’s my fault. I wasn't paying attention.” I stepped back, trying to get into the eye line of the stallion. He was white, with blue hooves and hair. His eyes were tripping me up, the odd blue tint to differentiate them from his fur, and the strong blue upon his iris was intense. The Cutie Mark upon his rear was a shield with some stars.

“It's okay, man. We all forget sometimes.” Wait a minute, he's a local. I could ask him about this.

“Quick question. Do you know the fastest route to the castle? I have this invitation from Princess Luna.” Quickly opening the pocket dimension, I pull out the pass to enter Canterlot Castle.

“Huh. The Princess did mention a tutor coming around. Do you have a map in that little portal there?” He doesn't seem too surprised by my pocket dimension. I guess it's kinda of normal for him.

“Oh, no, I don't. Not one in here.” I did check around. It’s just holding my books, the celery, and the train ticket for when I leave.

“Well, uhhhh…” He looks around, pointing at a teal-colored house in the distance. “So you want to follow the road down to the blue house over there, then turn right. Go uphill for a bit, then when you run into a house with Fancy Pants’ name on it, go left, and you'll find the entrance to the castle.”

I think street names aren't a thing yet. In Ponyville, everyone knows where things are by heart, making it very difficult for me to keep track of where things are. It's not that big of a deal if I'm visiting here for a short while, but it's more efficient for me to get some semblance of a map down on my head.

“Thanks, dude. It's almost like you work there.” A quick joke never fails.

“Heh. Yeah, about that. I do, actually!”

“Oh, no way. What do you do anyway? Guard duty?”

“Nope. Even better, Captain of the Guard.”

“Woah.” Neat, he's important. Also, does that mean glorified security or an actual army leader? I don't care that deeply, but if he’s this open about his position, then it must mean they are seeing peace for the foreseeable future.

“Yeah.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yep.”

This is killing me, that awkward moment where we have run out of things to talk about. It's been a while since I've run out of anything to say.

“So I’ll be on my way.” I quickly get out before sidestepping and walking forward, going past him. Man, I suck at small talk. Hopefully, the Princess is mostly business, possibly flirting and asking why she has wings and a horn.

Following the instructions from the captain, I soon found myself with actual noble houses. Mansions, penthouses, and towers littered the front of the castle.

Stopping at a house addressed to Fancy Pants, I assume it's either an insult or a name. I can never tell with these Pony names. So far, the only reasonable names I have heard are Luna and Celestia, but they're royalty, so they get a pass.

Turning left, I kept my walk steady, seeing a couple of nobles leave the gates of their houses to head towards the castle. Keeping slightly behind them, I can hear them converse.

“Oh, please, like I’d let a station such as him rut me. We both know he never lets a mare finish.” The aura of many derogatory terms I could sling at this girl was hitting me. These don't feel like nobles, just housewives with no adversary in their lives, so they create their own misery and discord to satiate some sick need to complain about something.

“Yes, I am well aware of his,” she gave a curt ahem in the middle of her sentence, “inability to please, but it's all worth it. He's a stallion of many riches. He could support many mares in his herd with his wealth.”

“I know, Flur. I just wish there was a stallion who knew what he was doing down there.”

“Why not get a peasant to take care of that for you, Hoity?”

“I can't risk it. If Jet found out, I would not be able to live comfortably.”

“What if it's with another mare?~”

“You make a cunning deal, Flur.”

Instinctively, I turn my brain off. I would instead not let that be in my head all day. Flirting is fun, but I'm not trying to learn from cheating mares.

Oh, hey I'm here. Looking up, I saw they let the two mares in front of me through but stopped me with their spears.

“Halt! It is past day court hours. State your business.” I will call this generic white-furred pegasus guy Hank, and the guy next to him also Hank.

So I drew my pass from my person and showed it to the guards. The guards took the pass from my hooves and inspected it themselves.

“Yep. You’re all clear. Sir Anonymous, a guard shall escort you to Her Majesty’s private library. Please enter and wait in the lobby until called upon.” They saluted and held their spears vertically, as good soldiers do with their weapons.

“Thanks.” I nodded to Hank 1 and 2, proceeding past them and sitting in the lobby. It was a nice purple-colored chamber. Leading to what I can assume is the main throne room behind the large wood and iron doors.

I have no idea what to do to kill time while waiting for the escort, and I have no clue where the two mares went. They're probably off doing whatever lesbians do.

That display also makes me realize I have been starved of any love or attention. These lifetimes haven't been kind to the whole Isekai survivor.

Though, I feel an odd sensation of love magic brewing somewhere in this castle. I felt Luna’s magic in the dream realm; it's a cooling sensation, insulated like the moon, and Celestia’s magic feels like overwhelmingly solid winds push against me when within eyesight. I shudder to think what would happen if I was close to her. The love magic may feel weak, but I can tell it's from another Alicorn, perhaps not as powerful as Luna and Celestia, but still firm.

I ponder to myself. Is there a being stronger than them? I feel drawn to the statue in eyesight of the window.

It just feels correct to look at it.

Author's Note

I forgot the difference between ebony and ivory.

Private Tutoring, Ears AGAIN

With the guard's arrival, I was then escorted down crystalline halls. It's strange to say, but it's nicer walking within the castle than outside. Perhaps due to the true level of the floor, or maybe it’s because horse hooves are naturally acclimated to flat surfaces. I wouldn’t know anything about that sort of thing.

Up ahead, that endless sense of love magic grew. The aura it exuded seemed to throb and pulse with great power. Then it stopped. It made me wonder if that love magic was even there. Who just grows a sensation of love magic on impulse and then stops. Unless they…

My thoughts were interrupted as a pink-winged and horned mare trotted out of the room—a wide, gleeful smile upon her face. Her saunter was deliberate. Though faint, I can still feel the love magic upon her and on the other side…of that…door.

I'm not going to think about how she did it. I just know she probably was thinking of someone when she did. It wasn't passion or heat. It was love that pushed her to do that action.

A quick bump from the guard escorting me stopped me from eyeing the pink mare.

“Hey. Watch it. That mare is taken, sadly. The captain of the guard says he plans on marrying her.”

“Huh, I met him earlier, swell guy. We didn't have much to talk about.”

“Don’t worry about him. He's a big doofus. Just mention some nerd stuff, and he won't shut up. The dude’s like his sister, only with comics and not the whole scientific stuff.”

“I feel I met his sister, but can't tell anything about it.”

“Yeah, yeah. His sister is just the one and only student of the Princess. The lucky tramp…” He grumbled the last part. It seems resentment of the royal family is common no matter where I go.

“I mean, magic from royalty sounds nice enough to become a student under. I wonder what they're teaching her…” Let's see, Dream Magic is a no-go. Luna is learning it from me. That just leaves whatever magic Celestia uses. I can only speculate what she is teaching her only student, probably royal magic spells, such as the secrets to manipulate the sun and moon.

“Something about friendship.” He seemed to almost gag at that part. “I don't know. I don't get paid enough to know.”

“Friendship is magic?” It's not the first time I've seen ‘Friends Are My Power’ before. The whole thing happens in way too many isekai worlds. I know it's about joining forces to decimate the enemy, but pure and raw friendship magic is hard to come by. I've only felt it once, and it's with the Prince who saved my life. I still wish I could remember his face.

“Apparently. I don't know much about what she's teaching, but she was sent on a study vacation to some backwater town.” The guard spoke with plenty of venom. I assume it's because he wanted to date the student of the princess. It does seem like a good method to get into the princess’ good graces, but it won't last.

“Neat.”

We continued our walk until he stopped, prompting me to stop with his spear. Now before a wooden door with glass paneling. Pushing the door open for me, and it led to a pretty nice sight. There is a coffee table in the center, a couple of candles for lighting, and the banners of Equestria in the center. Shelves were neatly lined with books, and a couple of lovely cushions circled the coffee table

“We’re here. Her Majesty will be down to meet you down a moment.” He left me to my own devices, taking a turn and leaving. I have no idea where he's going, and I don't care.

Quickly entering the study, I sit on one of the cushions. The velvet soft luxury on my rear felt nice. It was a welcome change from a cheap hotel room. Berry Punch won't mind if I'm not there today, plus I'm now totally destitute. I got no money to my name!

Now what? I came here with no plan and no books to give to Luna. How do I show her the advancements of dream magic when I have no proof or study equipment for her? I really did just accept this with no plan.

I quickly shifted through the shelves, hoping to find an empty journal, book, or anything that could help at all. I found a couple of scrolls of parchment paper and an ink well labeled ‘Infinink.’ I can only assume it's infinite ink.

With my new study equipment ready, I took a few rolls and began writing down everything I knew, which is quite a lot. I'm jotting down the ins and outs of any dream magic I know of, mentioning memory viewing, dream manipulation, and nightmare intrusion. The last one seemed especially important, considering she used to be Nightmare Moon.

With the last of everything I know jotted down. I sit, and I wait for quite a while.

With the sun setting down behind me, I feel a strange sense of peace. It's been a hot minute since I've had anything to do; just be patient and relax. It allows my thoughts to clear up and shift through my mind. I wonder if I could feel at ease daily without worrying about my money situation or even my mortality.

It never hurts to be careful either, so as long as I can find a place within this world, I can be left to my own devices. Out of many deaths, I still hold true to one idea: Old Age. It's the only death I haven't experienced. I've had my body destroyed every which way. I've felt soul manipulation that has permanently scarred my soul and felt my mind deteriorate. All those deaths and I've never fallen into old age. I hope dying peacefully is the key to finding salvation because if it isn't, then I'll just give up.

I heard footsteps approaching, and my pony ears flicked toward the sound on their own, causing my head to turn. It was Luna, seemingly ready for the night, turning into the study. Her classic silver adornments litter her body as she sits across from me.

“It’s truly an honor to meet you outside the Dreamscape, Princess Luna.”

“Tis also a wondrous meeting with thou Anonymous. We are ready for any session thou hast prepared.”Her voice is positively booming with volume. Do royals sound like that up close, or is it just her? My ears are not taking this well.

“Well, first quick question. Do you usually talk that loudly?” I rub my poor ears.

Luna’s eyes widen as if suddenly realizing I'm right here. ”We-” she paused, though she blasted me loudly with her voice. I still kept my face straight and did not wince in pain. “-I would like to apologize. Sister has been teaching us—I mean, me—the ways of modern society. It's been a little difficult not to use the Royal We. I hope to mend this upon our arrival of Nightmare Night this upcoming fall.” She seemed to slump down a little. Was she ashamed of her inability to break habits? That's a little sad.

“Hey, don't worry about it. It only improves through practice, and I'm here to help.” I couldn't pat her on the shoulder, but the best I could do was verbally help.

“Yes. I thank you for this chance. Now, I’m ready to hear about Ponies' advancements in dream magic. Our capabilities to fight nightmares may be sharp and peerless, but even we haven't kept up with the times.” She seemed to draw some reading glasses. It held the same tone as her fur and placed them upon her muzzle, drawing some parchment for herself.

“Yes. Quite, just a little warning: The advancement I made for dream magic is a little, uh, volatile?” This seemed to spark her attention.

“Thou has spells that can harm our subjects?” GAH! I'm never ready for the volume of her voice!

“No! Not like that! Just things that can cause harm if used incorrectly.” My poor ears, and I thought the girls were bad enough for my hearing.

“Oh. I apologize for taking out the Royal We again.” I rub my ears.

“I mean, you could use it to harm your enemies...” A little hope, perhaps!

”Then thou hast no honour! We shall test the true strength of our enemies on the field in one one-on-one combat!” NOPE! THERE IS NO HOPE!

“Okay. Okay!” I shook my head until I could stop this ringing in my ears. “I still think it's best to show you either way. Just in case.”

“Hmph! If thou wishes.” When did she become like this? I don't understand women, especially horsewomen.

“Anyway. Let's just do the stuff I have written down so you can study, then we can do practical stuff when in the dreamscape.”

Luna could only nod as I used magic to slide my parchment down to her. “Memory viewing? Dream Magic can be used to search through memories?”

“Well, yeah, dreams can only be formed by things you have seen, even if you don't subconsciously remember that you saw them. So you can go a layer deep inside somepony or your own mind to see memories.”

“I had no idea the capabilities of dreams. We hast always used the dream realm to protect our little ponies?”

“Protect how?”

“From nightmares, our bodies being so intuned in magic when our mind has a nightmare it could cause effects that we did not intend to do whilst sleeping. Such as a dream of being crushed, we could be flattened in the waking world, or hast flattened an object nearby.”

“Nightmares are dangerous here then. Out of curiosity, what would happen if you died in a dream?”

“Then thou wouldn't feel unimaginable pain. Th-hmm-your body would feel that wound as a phantom pain for a day. Then it'll pass once magic has stabilized.”

“Huh. It seems we're teaching each other.”

“Yes, it seems so.”

This is a Tutoring Session for me and her. It's nice to get some information about this world.

Yet, my mind still itches. That statue, why was it so easy to stare at it?

Also, it feels a little stronger now. Too strong.

Wait a second!

“Hey Luna, do you feel that?”

“Feel what Anonymous?”

“Outside, somewhere…”

“Speak up. What are you talking about? If it’s dangerous magic you're absorbing, tell us now!”

“Chaos magic…I wasn't expecting a source to be nearby. I noticed a pink royal earlier. Do you perhaps have another royal around?”

“Thou must mean Cadenza, but the only other royalty here is my nephew Blueblood and he’s not...Discord.” Luna’s eyes slowly realize what was going on, a wave of panic shuttering through her body.

“Luna?”

“I must meet up with my sister!” With a flash she teleported away from me.

“Huh…” With that I turn my head outside. Why is the Sun and Moon dancing in the sky?

Chaos! Chaos! I can do anything!

There's an appropriate song for this moment—something about the world and spinning.

Also, my head began to revolve around its brain due to one thing. Chaos Magic. Now, with Chaos Magic, it's hard to generate itself, as you need to be in tune with entropy, forcing your body to do anything to continue the generation of magic. Also, I'm not fond of it at all.

Chaos Magic is powerful, yes. However, the generation requires me to bend reality in extremely uncomfortable ways. I would need to be doing rubber-hose-style movements, let my limbs freely extend from their sockets, and let my body mold and bend into new positions.

The worst part is my passive magic absorption removes the normal painkilling aspect of chaos magic, just adding it to my mana supply at a higher rate than most others.

Then there's using it. The effects are random; of course, it's Chaos Magic. The causes I put into the spells are consistent: if I want to shoot magic, I shoot magic; if I want to teleport, I can teleport. It's what happens afterward that causes the most headaches. Such as my magic blast suddenly embuing life or my teleport setting me on fire. Masters of Chaos Magic can manipulate cause and effect, considering it harms my body every time I use it. I kept away.

I should fix my head situation. I don't want to get a head of myself. My head was detached from my body, spinning around my neck with a brain hovering just above it. It was a strange sight, and I was oddly calm about seeing my brain. I just have to mend this, and then I can leave.

“Oops! I forgot I broke something!” Oh no. British!

“Wha?” My head was constantly spinning in place, unable to face the source of the British accent.

“Don’t lose your head, friend! I was wondering who was generating enough Chaos for me to break free! I have you to thank for it!” I felt a bird claw and a bear paw grab my head and put it back in place. Then suddenly, everything began to spin, as I heard familiar ticks of something being screwed down into place.

I almost threw up from being spun around like that. “Ghk!” I searched frantically for a trash can to hurl in before a brown plastic bag was placed on my muzzle. With my mouth letting go of the tension being stocked up, I began to hurl what I had into the bag.

“Awww, don't be like that. It was because of you I am now free a few days ahead of schedule!” He pulled out a stopwatch, clicked the top of it, and showed it to me. It was suddenly a digital clock with the word ‘now’ on it. “See? I was supposed to be out by the time season 2 came around, but I guess this is still season 1.5 or something like that. So congratulations!” He waited until I was done puking and grabbed the plastic bag from my muzzle, lifting it upside down over my head. Now, it's sprawling confetti over my head.

“What the hell?” This was odd. I'm not absorbing Chaos magic from him. What gives?! I should be able to get something from him. Yet I'm gaining nothing.

“Hel is what you mean, my friend. Those bird people always had an interesting culture.” Bird people? Griffins? “Also, I saw you were absorbing chaos into your body, and since I owe you for freeing me, I turned off your whole absorbing chaos magic for some time now, now you won't deteriorate. Pony bodies do not bode well with chaos magic.”

“Yo—What?!”

“I mean, if you were still Human, you would've only felt burning.”

“Again, WHAT?!”

“I think the main character has finally realized what was happening. Tataaa~!” He opened a book from a shelf and dived inside, leaving a picture of himself.

“I think I'm on drugs.” I stare at the book.

At least I'm not feeling much of anything right now. I step out of the study. Only to see actual chaos brewing outside. Pink clouds are raining; what I could only hope for is chocolate. The landscape was broken and hovering in the distance. The sky was a different color as well.

With a pace down the halls, six ponies ran past me. I recognized all but one, a buttery pony with pink hair.

I wonder what they're doing here. It doesn't matter much to me, I guess. I just need a safe room.

I felt a pulse of magic wash through my body. Even if I didn't absorb it, I can still feel it. Chaos Magic is not very difficult to differentiate from other types. The plants above hanging suddenly sprung to life, shooting down their thorns from their height advantage. Being the calm individual I am, I fucking panicked and began to sprint down the halls at full speed.

The thorns were blanketing the carpet with every volley. Who gave plants infinite ammo?! I felt some stray thorns dig into my rear. It was a slight sting but still painful enough. I just gotta hope they're not poisonous.

I dove into a small room. It seemed to be a broom closet but for instruments. Guitars, Bass, Violins, and all the stringy instruments were dotting the walls, leaving a lone piano underneath a spotlight in the corner of the room. He wouldn't, would he?

Slowly, I approach, using my magic to remove the thorns embedded in my rear. They didn't strike blood, thanks to my coat, but it still hurts either way. I stop before the piano, my breathtaking, steady, slow, and trepidatious as I touch the piano. Curiosity killed the cat, and I'm a fool. I know nothing. I take the role of a silly clown.

Then suddenly, the piano attempted to chomp on my hoof. I was able to reel it back. I laugh at the sudden realization of the danger I put myself in. I turned to run, only to see the guitars had blocked the entrance while the violins had drawn their bows and string-like arrows. The Bass just spectated, cheering

I realized what was happening. This is now a gladiator ring, but instead of a tiger, I'm dealing with a killer piano. If I die to a piano, I will just cry.

Stepping away from the entrance, I lower myself to the ground. Ready to bounce away from any strike. I just need to set this piano on fire and then run away like a madman. If I do fireball in this close of an enclosure, I will also hit myself.

The Piano took its first move, rushing with its mouth open, the legs kicking the floor as fast as it could. I jumped back from the bite and used my magic to conjure a chain from my horn, whipping it down to the wooden surface of the piano. I was able to strike, but the piano grabbed the chain with its mouth and used it to swing me around in the air. Detaching myself from the chain, I found myself flung towards a wall, my back crashing against it. Air escaped from my lungs as I felt the wall slam into my back.

Falling down, I saw the piano rush over, mouth wide open to catch me on my descent, so I did what any normal person would do. I opened a portal underneath the piano and set it above the violins. I watched as the piano fell and slammed down on the violins beneath them. Thank god for learning how to open portals today. I just grabbed the guitars and tossed them behind me so I could leave. The bass was cheering on. I assume they are, plucking their strings like that.

My victory is mine, and now I'm...still looking for that safe room. This whole chaos magic brewing everywhere the thing is getting hard to process. Is there even a safe room? Yeah, probably now.

You know what? Screw it. I opened my pocket dimension and hopped in, floating in the endless static void. I’ll just wait it out.

“Oh, don't be like that.”

“Are you-” I heard that familiar British accent.

“It's no good just to hide! It was fun watching you. You actually fight back and succeed, unlike those guards. I wonder why ol’ Tia keeps them around for? They don't do their jobs!” He laughs.

“I….yeah, I felt that too. They don't seem to do much.”

“See? We agree on something! Oh, where are my manners? I'm Discord, God of Chaos.” He drew a paw towards me, and I could only oblige and shake his hand.

“Anonymous,” I respond.

“No, you're not. What's your true name?”

“Like I'm going to tell you.”

“I bet it's something basic, like Michael or Eric.”

“Oh, you're just going to keep going.”

“Hmmm. Alex?”

“No? Can we not do this? I'm more confused as to how you got in here!”

“Don't worry about that, chum. I can see through other dimensions. It comes with the job.”

“Being a god of chaos is a job?”

“Of course it is. I got a thousand-year vacation! It was wonderful! I got to sleep in every day! Now that I'm back on the clock, but enough about me, what about you? The readers pondered why I was released early and what chaos magic does to you!”

“Can we not break the fourth wall?”

“Nope!”

“Figures.”

He floats behind me, opening up my pocket dimension and tossing me back into the castle. Into what looks like private bedchambers. The sun symbolism and the fact that it's brightly lit leads me to believe that was for Celestia.

“I promised Tia I wouldn't mess with her stuff, now you can do that for me! I keep my word you know? I just have to go mess with the population in Ponyville!” With another flash, he’s gone.

“Hatsune Miku does not talk to British people.” I felt compelled to say.

Gods! Goddess! And me!

I don’t know what to do. I tried to open the lock on the door to Celestia’s room. It turns out it’s enchanted with a magic lock I can’t absorb or even crack. Almost as if it was tailor-made to prevent anyone from entering. The balcony doesn't look too appealing. I could jump, but that just leaves me at the mercy of the portals I can create. Jumping will keep my momentum, so I’d rather not deal with math to keep myself living.

Now, in someone’s bed-chamber, I feel awkward. So far, my teleportation magic is just within eyesight. If I had any amount of chaos magic, I could force myself just outside the doors by shifting reality, but since that old British man turned chaos magic off for my body, I can't either.

Then, I turned to the extra-large bed in the center of the room. I prefer a corner bed myself, but that's just me, as any normal person would do when they see a massive bed. I jumped upon it and sprawled my limbs everywhere. It was the most comfy bed I've ever experienced, the delicate velvet pillows lovingly pressed against my head. The mattress itself was almost like a cloud, with how fluffy it was. I was in heaven.

That British man said to make chaos, so I'm creating chaos all over this bed. This is not an innuendo; I'm just relaxing.

Closing my eyes, I just retired my body to chill. The chaos around me is still active; it will probably take another 30 minutes to fix, or 22, give or take.

With the door to the room creaking open, I raised my head, peering at Celestia entering her room. She was seemingly exhausted as soon as the door closed. Her poise and grace were lost, now letting her body feel the weight of itself. “Finally. Discord kept his word about my room all these years. Perhaps he has some good within him still.” She used magic to remove her golden accessories, leaving her pure white fur unguarded by materials.

When she turned to me, she was shocked before regaining her poise. “Welcome, my little pony. I wasn't expecting any pony to take asylum in my chambers.”

“It wasn't by choice, Princess.” Her magic is overwhelming. The pressure she exudes from just having her magic up is intoxicating. The absolute power I can get from just being near her is too much. Alicorn magic is one hell of a drug. “That weird…goat, bird, lion, lizard…thing brought me here.”

“So Discord is the one who brought you here.” She walked up to the bed. I just decided to get off. It was her bed, after all. “Thank you.” She began to climb onto the bed, her body perfectly fit in the bed relatively comfortably, but something about her movements felt stiff and anchored, as if my presence was preventing her from getting a pleasing rest.

“You okay there, Princess?” I tilt my head, walking around the bed to get within eyesight of her. Though she may be resting, she still attempts to keep some grace about her.

“Yes. I appreciate your concern. It's only been a long day. My faithful student shall take care of it. I'm only here for a moment once Discord has been finished. You may leave.” Right now, she’s loafing herself, lying down like a cat. I wonder how comfy that is when there's a cushion beneath me.

“Huh. Neat.” I sit down, not exceptionally comfortable on the hard floor, but better than nothing.

“So what brings you to the castle, if I may ask?”

“I was here to teach Princess Luna about Dream Magic, then the whole chaos magic guy came around and shut my lesson down.”

“Never expected Luna to require dream magic. I wonder why she never talked to me about it.” Why is she slightly offended by that? I know they're sisters and spent one thousand years apart. I thought they would know boundaries by now.

“I don't know either, but I'm here. I'm supposed to leave tomorrow, but I don't know if my train schedule will be messed up tomorrow.”

“If it’s the hours you're worried about, it should still be nightfall once discord is defeated. Think of the clock as being paused for the time being.”

“Works for me.” I wonder if it's appropriate to mention my literal broke self or the fact that I’m going to be homeless once on my train ride back.

“Rest, my little pony. You shall receive private chambers for yourself soon, as of now.”

“Thank you, Princess. It gives me time to read now.” So much for the nap I was going to take, but if she’s going to take up the bed, then I won't complain. She is literally three times my size. Opening my pocket dimension caught her attention, and her head turned to look at my magic.

“That’s new. When did you learn that spell?” She was eying up my spell before attempting to replicate it.

“Uh, I don't know when I did. I can sort of open it at will at some point.” I scratch the floor some more. I should kept that spell under wraps.

“It seems that it’s a much more secure place to keep the elements instead of the vault.” She could drag my portal to my pocket relatively easily using her magic, seemingly wanting insight into how I've done it.

“Hey! That's my pocket dimension.”

“Yes, it is. I just needed to look into it…” She focused for a moment. Her power is actively pushing me away, and then suddenly, a poof of magic—Celestia now has her own pocket dimension formed.

“Twilight should be able to access this if given the same spell, correct?”

“I mean, yeah. Technically, it works like hammerspace. Only instead of storing things on you, you put them in what is essentially a safe. Just your own code on the spell.”

“And how secure is this spell?”

“You can set a passcode for the pocket if needed, yes. The only issue is, I think Chaos Magic.”

“Well, considering we only have one active chaos magic user who's likely to be sealed again, then it's secure enough for the elements.”

“Okay. Should I write the spell down for you or?…”

“Yes. That would be most beneficial.”

“Alright then.” I didn't have any parchment on hand, but Celestia was kind enough to hand me over a couple of rolls. Apparently, she keeps them around to send a response to her faithful student.

With the spell written down and instructions on how to replicate said spell. She somehow copied and pasted the ink onto another roll of parchment and rolled it up, sealing it with a red ribbon with her seal, the gold-encrusted sun.

“So we should just wait this out?”

“Yes. It would seem if you don't mind. Discord appeared when I was deep in sleep. I would like to get some rest.”

“It's quite alright. I’ll just be reading.” That brought up a soft chuckle from her.

“You should spend time with my student if you're just going to read.” I could only smile at her request before she lowered her head onto the pillow, giving a giant huff as she got comfy.

You know, I should find a way to spend time with her. I ain't liking how stiff she is and the formalities.

Perhaps, given time, we could be friends.

Author's Note

I have zero clue as to what I'm doing still.

Gonna take a short hiatus after this to refresh the idea of the story I had in my head. Also to re-watch season two.

Jobless Trainee.

“Hear thee, Anonymous. For thou help with our catching up with dream magic, we shall bestow upon you a Royal payment.” She placed a large bag of bits on my back. The golden coins cling as they shuffle within the pack. It also caused my knees to buckle under the strain. I forgot how heavy gold was.

“Oh. Thank you, Princess.” The strain on my voice is heavy, and the weight upon my shoulders is aching. Still, I turned and went to leave the castle, storing the pack of coins in my pocket dimension, which took up a majority of my visible space, better there than me.

It’s been a hot minute. I’ll catch you guys up.

In short, Chaos Guy is back as a statue, harmony has been restored across the equestrian land, and I’m getting paid! I never did agree on a payment; I just accepted to train a princess.

For a long story, I’ve been in safe keeping with Celestia. I did not have much accomplishment other than Celestia napping the entire time, and I read a book.

Also, I figured out how to teleport now! It was a remarkable accomplishment that took me a couple of tries when Celestia was sleeping. I think I woke her up a couple of times, but she was just happy to see me progress, it felt like. Also, learning magic while right next to Celestia is incredible. Due to her immense power pouring out every moment, I could refill my mana instantly without breaks.

Then she woke up and told me it was safe to go, and I obliged by teleporting to the study. It was a mess while I was in there, so I took the liberty of cleaning up. The hardest part was scrubbing the ink off the carpet, but nothing a little fire can't fix. It didn't repair the carpet, but I did eventually fix it! Don't flag me for arson, please.

As I marched toward the train station, my energetic steps stopped once I saw the state of every pony in a short-mile radius. They were traumatized. Everyone was asking what happened, will it happen again?

It's a good thing I’m not in charge of the citizens. That's Celestia’s and Luna’s job! However, this whole manic event has caused my train to be delayed. I wonder…

Closing my eyes, I try to recall the last place I remember in Ponyville—the Library. The circular center is inside a massive tree. The walls of books are carved into the tree. The odd purple book horse that is a colossal nerd should be there if she lives there. She's also quite cute herself, but that's just me and massive nerds. Nerds are adorable when you get them going about something they like.

With my heart ready, I lit up my horn and teleported, a flash enveloping my eyesight and body as I landed on a table. Not much of a landing, I crashed back first on the oddly stable table, then I flopped to the ground. “WOOOO!” I raised my hooves in the air as I sat up on the floor. “Can't believe that work! Actually, I can, it was me!” Gods above, the ego I get when I learn a new spell could send me to heaven and then crash into hell.

“Owww…” A lingering male voice was in pain beneath me. Looking down, I saw Spike face down on the floor.

“Oh! Sorry buddy! I wasn't looking.” I quickly got off of him, hoping I didn't hurt him too badly. Either way, he should be more durable than me.

“Figueres. Whenever Twilight teleports, it gets me as well.” He struggled to get up for a moment, and finally, he could kick himself back off the ground.

“Next time. I should probably look before I teleport.” Opening up the pocket dimension, I hand Spike the teleportation book. “As you can probably tell, I don't need this anymore and would like a new book.”

“Jeez, you're really just going through these. You’re a lot like Twilight.”

“Huh. In a good or bad way?”

“Uhhh, good? I think.”

“Yeah. Well, I think I’ll need a book on…” Man, this is hard. Usually, reading material on magic in other worlds is kept secret and hidden from the world. They're sometimes only taught by seasoned magic masters, and they are entrusted to teach spells through memorization rather than reading. Then there's the fact that not every human is magically adept, so it would make no sense for a small village to contain books on magic within their local library. It just makes this place a whole lot better, in my opinion. Since magic is commonplace with an entire subsection of ponies dedicated to magic, and even some outliers with others, magic is accepted, expected, and studied.

I have to learn as much as possible from this world if I croak. Knowledge of magic is invaluable, especially in worlds without magic. Luckily, it seems I won't be dead anytime soon.

“Got any books on heat spells?”

“Oh, for the winter? I got you!” With that, he zooms off, picking a book for me. “Heat Control and Fire Magic by Flame Works” was the title. It seemed alright to me. It'll work for me. I wonder if the author has a sibling named Fire Works. I guess I'll never know.

“Thanks, Spike!”

With a quick signature and stamp, I got myself a fire magic book. I knew the very basics of fire magic: shuffle molecules around and toss them once you make a ball of fire, but I needed more precision if in an enclosed area. The piano fight opened my eyes to that fact. Fire is a lot more consistent than ice magic to me, anyway. Lots of things can be solved with a good old firey cleanse than a frozen bath.

Now, on my way to do something I should be doing: find a job! I had sizeable savings from Luna. Now, I just need to see actual sustainable income!

The job hunt begins now!

[Job ~~Begging~~Opening Test 1: Sugar Cube Corner]

“Hiya Nonny!” A pink friend was stationed at the front. I knew her from the first day I was here. Good times. “What can I get for you?” She’s very bubbly when she's not speaking at a million miles per hour and bouncy!

“I'm looking for a job!” My heart was excited. I could do anything with this energy I have! I'm still riding off the high of figuring out teleportation!

“Oooooo~ Let me ask the cakes!” With a zip, she zooms into the back section of the store. I could only hear a few segments of the conversation. Hearing ‘Job?’ ‘Two Foals’ and ‘Can’t.’ This is really cutting my chances of finding a job.

The pink friend returns to the front desk a little less bouncy but still herself. “Sorry Nonny! The cakes said they can't right now. They have two foals and can't afford another employee.”

“Darn, that's alright. If I can't get a job, can I get a cupcake instead?” I had bits. Why not?

“Okie Dokie Lokie!”

“Lokie? LOKIIIIII!” I went along with it!

[Job Opening Test 2: Sweet Apple Acres]

Still chewing on the cupcake I ordered, I went onto the local farmland. Now, I'm no decent farmhand, but I'm willing to learn. I have no idea what to do in an orchard, but it seems as easy as picking apples.

Seeing the big red man, I stopped in my tracks. This was it. “Hey, uh…you got a minute?” I don't know his name, but damn, he's sweaty and smells like apple sauce for some reason.

“Eeyup.”

“That’s awesome.”

“Eeyup.”

“So, do you have any job openings?”

“Nnnnope?”

“Oh. Is it because your farm is only operated by family members?”

“Eeyup.”

“Figures. I'll buy more apples from ya from the market today. Thanks for your time.” Turning away, I went to leave.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac was saddened about not being allowed to get help when his sister could but knew that it was a family-only farm.

“Darn.” Was all I could say under my breath.

[Job Finding Test 3: Carousel Boutique]

With a knock on the door, I waited momentarily, remembered it was a business, and walked in. The bell above the door rung out again, causing the white mare to look at me and smile, but her smile was a little weak, and her eyes were saddened

“Hello, Anonymous. I'm sure you're here about the job offer, but we have a small issue.” Her voice was also weak.

“Darn.” I didn't know what issue she had.

“I'm sorry! I know I promised you a job, and now I'm just a liar to you!” Her entire body swooned as a couch was dragged from out of my view to beneath her. “It's just been so terrible! First, Discord attacks and ruins my ‘in the zone’ moment, and then he comes and ruins my shop! I had a store opening in Canterlot, you know, and now I'm ruined! Now I have to restart on all my dresses right away. I'm sorry, Anonymous, but I can't hire any help at the moment!”

WARNING DRAMATIC WOMAN! ABORT ABORT!

“That’s okay Rarity. I'll come back when your store in Cantelrot is okay.”

“Thank you for understanding, Darling.”

With that, I left. Best to keep away from that drama. Its a good way to lose my head.

[Job Begging Test 18: Golden Oak Library]

Let's see, plenty of businesses are in disarray from Discord. The post office won't take me, not a pegasus. Bon Bon’s Sweet Confectionary only needs one, plus a Lyra. Sofa and Quills are somehow expanding into Beds, turning into Sofa, Quills, and Beds. So, no bueno there.

Also, many farms here are family-operated. I get that part. There are plenty of fantasy farms that are only operated by family. The only time they get help is when a family member falls sick. That kind of sucks.

So now I'm back to where I began, the Library. It's not too late in the day and should still be open. With a knock, trying to keep Spike’s safety in mind, I waited a moment, then entered. There are no bumps on the door, which is good.

“Oh, hello, Anonymous!” The cheerful voice of Purple Smart was always a good sign.

“Hi! I'm here to see if you have any openings for a job!” It hurts to be denied by 18 other places, but I'm willing to make it 20 by applying to the weather team as a joke.

“Oh, sorry, Anonymous, I just don't have any need for a library assistant when I have Spike.” Ouch, I'm like pretty sure that dude is underaged and is under indentured servitude. Well, that sucks.

“Well, Darn.” I've been saying that a lot today. Something about this place is preventing me from swearing vocally. Probably the Harmony.

“You sure you ain't have anything else for me to do?” I am pretty desperate at this rate, it kind of sucks for me, but I do need a job. Also, a house! Ego inflated, then deflated today. It shows me that getting a big head is bad; don't do that.

“Well…wait. Anonymous…Anonymous. You're the stallion who taught Luna!” She points at me. Finally, we're getting somewhere.

“Yeah, I did. Got a pretty fat paycheck out of it, but I still need some income.” It was 400 bits in that huge sack. Not enough to buy a house, but enough to live comfortably for a few days.

“And also gave Celestia a spell even she didn't know. I would know she gave me that pocket dimension spell.” Recognition: This is new. Usually, my accomplishments with royals are dedicated to just the royals, writing me out and all involved. So this is new. I am credited as the one to help the royals.

“Yeah. I did that too, didn't get much of it, only protection from the chaos magic guy.”

“Right, right. So, how much do you know about magic?”

“I know it is more of a science field than actual magic. Despite its namesake.”

“I know. It's a strange thing with magic. Lots of Ponies think it's all about runes or letting magic do its thing, but it’s more about manipulating the very fabric of your being and atoms themselves from horns.”

“Yep! I don't know all the technical terms for magic, but I am adept in the ways of science and technology. Also lots of schools of magic, illusions, evocations, transformations, transfigurations.”

With every school I know of being listed off, Purple seemed increasingly interested in what I was saying. A lightbulb shined in Purple’s wise head. “Wait! What if we did some scientific research together? I could ask Celestia for a research grant, and we could figure out a whole new field of magic with science!”

“You know what, that's the best deal I heard all day!”

Become a mad scientist with a librarian. Let's do this!

SCIENCE RULES!

Author's Note

I’m back, fresh with ideas now.

Not going to be daily as much as I used to be, but still kinda frequent.

Homeless Pone

‘I am a homeless pony looking for a place to stay. My job is currently no, but I get the Royal unemployment stipend and am a private tutor for the Royal family.’

I stare down at my parchment with the new message written upon it. Is it too much? I probably shouldn't mention I have no job and was a private tutor, not currently one unless I begin to teach Twilight my less combat-effective spells, like Talk to Animals and Sticks to Snakes. She has ties to the royal family, so maybe I could use her to get money, but then I would be disingenuous using her like that. I'm not good with moral conundrums. I did spend most of my time in blood in other worlds, whether that be my own or others, depending on the day, but trying to be a good person was not exactly high on my list. So, fuck it, using Twilight now. I only have to detach my emotions slightly from teaching new spells—no big deal.

I began to write down a new message on my parchment: something simple, nothing too intense

I’ve mentioned it before, but perhaps I could sell weapons. I do know minor amounts of smithing and enchanting, but they are brutal on account of my passive-absorbing abilities. I could probably recreate firearms from my original world. Crystals are plentiful and must be crafted like a rail gun to perform as a gun. I'll make a prototype with Twilight first. If anything, she’ll be more responsible than me about dangerous weaponry.

Putting away the parchment in the pocket dimension, I began my journey. The real estate agents are probably sleeping, and my hotel has barred me access now. I think, at least. I have no idea how generous this countryside town is.

Slow, steady steps across the road, I forgot to eat again. My stomach growls lowly. I ran out of celery already. Dumpster Diving would set me back for now, so take it in stride.

My march takes me down to a bridge, separating town over the river that glides through the center of the village. Sleeping under the bridge overnight is definitely an option, but I won't be a troll. I don't even have a fancy riddle for them to think about for about 5 minutes!

Walking over the bridge, I continue down, seeing the stores and stalls closed within the darkening hours of the day. The light that once lit them is now dim, and darkness has taken rein.

You know, I never did build that cabin. Perhaps I should do that. I don't know the zoning laws of this place, but I don't care. I don't care, that’s right, I will be assaulting trees! I'm looking ahead! It will work out.

With the new fire in my heart, I rush into the whitetail woods, seeing that tree I punched down the other day. Knocking my hooves on the fallen log, I've noticed they're stable pine trees. I hope I'm not a plant scientist, just the mad inventor kind. It will definitely last me for a short while as the homeless guy in the woods. It's only temporary until I can get housing within the village. Standing on my hind legs, I crack my forehooves. This will be my greatest work yet.

With a punch to another tree, I began to work. Albeit without tools and a strong sense of wanting a roof over my head.

I pant heavily. My horn is lit in pride as I look upon my new work! A log cabin in the woods! It's got all your essentials: a door, a singular window, a door, and a cardboard bed. I returned to get my cardboard from my begging adventures. It shall be my bedding in my sleep! I fine-cut the wood upon the door and window with my horn, just sanding the things down. I don't know any good wind spells to cleave people. I should probably study up on one or two. They're helpful in flying if you can't use telekinesis on yourself to fly.

Resting my head on the cardboard, I feel satisfied. It's good enough for tonight. At least I was able to build that log cabin.

With a stifled yawn, I began to shut my eyes. The hazy world darkens as I sleep. Tonight is good for me. I wonder if I'll see good ol’ Luna

“Avast!” I yell at the top of my lungs in my wooden sloop!

“Ye salty dogs shall hear the tale of mine! The Pirate King!” Holding my swashbuckling sword up high, I point to the endless sea before me. The waves gently carried through the vast expanse before me.

“Hahaha!” E-gad! An enemy! “Who has approached the Black Beard Anonymous?! You shall feel fear beyond fear!”

The waves crash as a loud cannon shot in the air. No, multiple cannons. They fired hard and fast toward my wooden sloop, tearing holes through the boat. “PGA OPEN UP!”

“Wha-”

“I repeat. PGA OPEN UP!”

“WOAH!” I sat up, hearing the constant knocking on my shitty wooden door. Damn, dude, you don't have to break it. I made that last night!

Feeling the bags in my eyes, I blinked a couple of times before standing up and opening the door. “Hello?”

“Sir! This is the PGA.” A stallion stood before me. He is wearing armor, the golden standard I've seen in Canterlot. He’s instead of a generic white pegasus. It's a large and in-charge brown pony with no wings or horns.

“What now, also PGA?”

“PonyVille Guard Assembly! We provide PonyVille with top-of-the-line protection directly from Canterlot. You, sir, have violated the first law we had to enforce since the illegal parking with a traveling magician!” He is loud, talking like a military officer training new cadets loud. It hurts.

“I… there's parking laws?”

“Sir! I shall be asking the questions and investigating the premises.”

“I plead the fifth?”

“The what, sir?”

“Never mind.” Fuck, I have to talk to the police. Okay, okay. If I get thrown in jail, I’ll have no excuse. If anything lying could get me in deeper shit, so I should stretch the truth as much as I can.

“What I thought, sir.” He pulled out a notepad and quill and began to write down something. Where did he hide that?

“So…what did I violate?” It must be a city-specific law.

“You have done unauthorized construction on the property of noble Filthy Ritch’s land. You shall be subject to his actions, and I shall have you stationed here until he arrives.”

“Oh. That's neat.” I pissed off a political figure, great. That only leaves more.

“Sir, why have you had this log cabin built, and by whom?”

“I didn't have anywhere else to stay. I am poor and have nowhere else to go.”

“Mmhm. Who did you contract to build this log cabin?” He scribbled down on his book.

“Myself.” That's a way to determine if someone is lying about being poor—just rapid-fire the next question.

“Okay.” More scribbling action. “When did you come to Ponyville?”

“About four days ago, sir.” It’s an unforgettable four days, in my opinion. This realm is so close to my home that it's wild how similar they are. If only I could use a phone again. I miss the internet sometimes. Even the future internet in the cyberpunk world is fun.

“Are you currently receiving any pension funds for homeless and or ponies who cannot work due to ‘special’ cute marks?” God, I can feel the quote-un-quote in his speech.

“Yes.”

“Who is responsible for collection and giving pension to you?”

“I shall keep her name anonymous for her.”

“Very well, sir.” Thank god, I'm not telling anyone about what me and Twilight do. If anything, I think she’d crack underneath police pressure.

“Thanks.”

“Your name, sir?”

“Anonymous.”

“Sir. We do not do jokes here.”

“I am not joking. My name is truly Anonymous.”

“Surname?” Scribble, Scribble, Scribble.

“Incognito.”

“Anonymous Incognito is your first and last?”

“Yes.”

“Of course, sir.” He sounds very exasperated. Perhaps I am annoying, which is good. I never did respect the police in any world I was in. So, fuck ‘em.

“I have arrived per your instruction.” A voice rang out. He sounds like a very business-type voice. All business, no pleasure, and infinite confidence in securing a deal. He is also wearing a suit, an odd fellow.

“Ah, Filthy Rich. You’ve made it just on time.” So that’s the noble. “How’s the missus?”

“Lovely as always. Spoiled really does know a thing or two.” He chuckled, fondly remembering his wife.

“How’s the kid? It's been a while since.”

“You know, it's Diamond Tiara’s birthday soon. She’s turning ten this year, and I've been running short of birthday ideas. The Little one has been looking at her schoolmate’s tree house, and perhaps I have found what I have been looking for. A little refurbish, and she has her very own log cabin.” Eyeing my cabin, muttering.

I…no! Why?! He’s taking my shit! No! I was at least hoping to have a whole character arc in that cabin, maybe burn it town to come to terms with my whole wanting to leave a mark thing I want to do.

“Of course, sir. It’s a nicely built cabin.”

“Oh, don't you do that, Caramel. I know you well enough that you don’t have to call me sir.”

“Yeah, yeah, Filthy. Don’t forget about the guy. What did you want to do to him?”

“Oh. Just lead him off my land and sue the company that allowed this illegal building on my land.”

I’m right here, guys, literally right at the doorstep of my home—the place you guys are taking for yourselves and packaging it to your daughter due to negligible parenting. To be fair, it is impossible to gift something to a pre-teen. So carry on! See if I care, DAD! Wow, where did that come from? It must be from a lack of sleep.

“On that note. Who built the cabin here?”

“The stallion built it himself.”

“Oh? How fascinating, a homeless pony with talent, after all.”

They look at me. Finally, a source of acknowledgment was brought to my direction. Took a second or two.

“Now please leave the premises, sir….” He turns to his fellow pony.

“Anonymous.”

“Sir Anonymous, we shall not have any more rabble further tarnish my land. Chop-chop.” He shoes le away, no payment for building your daughter’s birthday present? I guess that's how the rich stay rich.

I could only nod and walk away. Great, there goes my cabin living days. Still, I'm proud it'll stand, even if it’s not for me anymore.

I am so tired.

I found myself at the park. It was the only place with a bench. I laid down, trying to sleep, but couldn't. The day was too harsh upon my eyes, so the curse of no rest reeks on me.

“You have a problem?! DO YOU?” I hear danger approaching. I wonder what that is about.

Sitting up from lying on my back, I saw Twilight. Her eyes were crazed, her hair unkempt and unbrushed. I could see the individual strands standing up. Soon, her sights set on me, lighting up as she suddenly boosted in my direction.

“Hiiii~ Anonymous.” Her teeth were out. I never noticed how odd horse teeth look. Neat?

“Hello, Twilight.”

“You must have a problem. Riiiiight?” She leans in, wrapping a foreleg around me and pulling me close to her.

“I mean. I do. It's not the most fun problem in the world, but it’s definitely a problem for me.”

She squealed in joy? It's an odd mixture of happiness, relief, and crazed that makes me slightly uncomfortable. I would stick my dick in crazy, but this is just insanity.

“What's the problem, my dear friend.”

“We’re friends now?”

“Of course, was your problem a lack of friends?”

“No. It's not that. It's just…uh. I'm homeless.”

“I…” The gears in her head are churning as she begins to process what she hears. Her face slowly loses the crazed pinprick stare and returns to full. “What?”

“I'm homeless, Twilight.”

“I…what, why?”

“I got no home.”

“I know that, but why? What led you to be homeless? Equestria hasn't had a homeless pony in a while! All fillies and colts are required to have housing, and even still there are methods to distribute housing!” She let go of my shoulder at this point, she was shocked at my state of myself. I didn't know about any of this. I didn't tell a soul about my homelessness issues. I just didn't have a job and begged. Is begging considered performative art here? “But then again. That was shut down once the homeless issue was rectified…”

“I didn't know that. That would have been real good information to know when I came to this world.”

“I'm sorry. This world?”

Aw, shit. I said too much. Just keep going. If I get a home from this conversation, then so be it. I won't lie. Just tell her the truth as far as she would know. A lie by omission is a lie I can live with.

“Yeah. This world, I'm not from Equestria.”

“Then. Where are you from?” She leaned in. I didn't know if she still wanted to hear about my problem or about me—both work, I guess.

“A place where I just couldn't be. So I left, I took a gamble, and just teleported somewhere. I didn't expect it to be here I ended up staying. I never was good with teleportation. Just anywhere but there would be fine. Since then, I have just kind of been wandering around. I couldn't find a place, I left as soon as entered most of the time. No coin to my name, no friends to fall back upon, just a smile and hope that I could do something, you know? I really do have nothing except the knowledge in my head, and the fur on my back.”

“I get that.” Twilight smiles. She wants me to continue my words. My face hurts. My grimace at my situation is a little too tight.

“In all honesty, I've been trying to leave my mark upon where I live, Twilight. Even back home, I wanted to be remembered as someone by people I leave behind.”

“People?”

“Regional dialect. Plus, you're really nice, and the princesses too. I never expected to meet royalty when I arrived. It's nice.” Royalty, me and you always intertwine no matter the world. Even if it’s a Cyberpunk CEO, a prince of light, or the devil king, we seem to always meet.

I wonder what Twilight will do with this connection, she isn’t a Royal, she’s a student to a Royal. She studies magic, perhaps on the road to becoming the grand wizard. I will never know.

She paused for a moment and put a gentle hoof on my shoulder. “I just want to ask, why don't you stay with me?”

“Huh?” I was expecting me to ask her, not the other way around.

“You heard me. I know an easy solution to your problem.”

“You know, I never thought to ask about spending the night at your place. I was afraid to abuse your kindness for hiring me and being your lab partner.”

“Well. You don’t have to fear that. I may not have known you for very long, but I'm willing to extend a helping hoof to a friend in need.”

I smile, kindness, generosity, I can feel them. I can feel the magic. I'm absorbing something. I don’t understand it. Perhaps this is friendship magic. In that case, I'll happily take it.

“Thank you, Twilight. That means a lot. I hope to find something in return to give you.”

“Nonsense. I don't need anything else.” She giggles. This nerd doesn't know it, but she gave me a challenge.

“I feel like I learned something…”

“You did?” She was way too quick on the pen and parchment draw, almost as if she was waiting for this.

“Yeah. Yeah. Even if I don't understand the world around me, when I feel true kindness from another pony. Perhaps I shouldn't be afraid to ask for help when needed. The warmth of the friendship should be able to validate any emotion I feel. Even if they're not the proudest.”

“Done, and Done.” With a flash of her horn. The letter went away, to where? I wouldn't know.

“Thank you, Anonymous. I needed that friendship report.” She hugs me, huh? I guess I already did give her something.

“No problem, Twilight.” I pat her back. What do I do when a girl hugs me anyway?

“Well. If anything, we should set up your room. I am still going to keep my promise of helping.” She lets go, hopping off the bench.

“Yeah. That would be nice.”

This feels nice. Harmony…

This is a good change from war and violence. This peace should stay.

However, I can't help but feel I prevented something catastrophic.

Author's Note

I have no idea how to write emotional stuff.

Also, game plan! I am going to attempt to write somewhat close to the main Season 2 story, the changeling invasion is the usual stomping grounds for Human in Equestria character arc finales.

Yet, I'm always left unsatisfied after the arc. I'm planning something different for Anon during the invasion. Can't wait to show ya’ll what I have.

But for now, I bid ya’ll adieu. Good ol low stakes slice of life coming up!

Fall Frontiers Feel Fantastic

I’ve settled in. Today is the day that marks my first whole week within Ponyville! I should catch you guys up.

For starters, I’m living with Twilight. That was three days ago. At first, I slept on the couch. Then I got a little on the room Twilight lent me. It was initially a room she used for storage, but after some organizing and sacrifices to the basement, I got myself a small space I could call home. With the new room comes a chance for furniture. So I used the money Luna gave me to buy some stuff. A comfy bed, a poster of this group called ‘The Wonderbolts’—I know nothing about them. I just think they look cool—and a quill. I didn't buy a sofa, despite how comfy they are. I am starting to think Sofa and Quill venturing into Beds wasn't such a bad idea.

I've got myself chores. I can't be a freeloader forever. I do basic cleaning, occasionally organizing books, helping Twilight’s research in the basement, and some grocery shopping. It isn't much, but at least I keep myself clean now. A source of running water is quite the luxury I haven't been able to experience for some time.

Also, it might be good to keep a diary, just in case I die too early. Writing my thoughts is a therapeutic way of coping with the inevitable. Plus, leaving a memory of my life is better than nothing.

Thanks, book. Also, accounting for my earlier experiences, this place is nice. I want to explore more of it, but rest is needed for now.

I also don't know what day it is.

Setting down my Quill, I close my diary, sliding the book underneath my bed—no nightstand for now. I'll just hope Spike doesn't open it too early. Leaving my room, I found myself in the central library circle. To satiate my curiosity on the day. I walk over to the Calendar by the stairs, reading up on it.

Let’s see, there are about 45 days in a month, two months separated into the four seasons for a total of 8 months and 360 days. Interestingly, they use the 24-hour time systems and still refer to the days as Monday through Sunday. However, it seems the months aren’t as lucky, just being named Mono, Bi, Tri, etc. These are odd conventions for calendars, but when two people control the sun and moon, they can decide how the calendar is.

Though a certain day caught my eye, Nightmare Night. It's next week.

“Morning Anonymous.” I heard a tired Twilight walk down the stairs, so I looked up. Her hair was messy, and she was brushing it on her way down.

“Mornin.” I gave her a small wave, horses can wave somehow.

“Coffee?” She made her way to the kitchen, I decided to follow behind

“Say less.”

“How?” Her horn lit up, grasping the coffee maker’s bowl, whilst also getting two mugs from the cabinet. The mastery on her telekinesis is amazing, I would kill to have half the skill of her.

“Throw hot coffee on my face obviously.”

That got a giggle out of her. “That sounds like it’ll hurt.”

“Yeah, but I’ll get me awake regardless.”

She giggles again, I’m killing it! My confidence has shot up! With the coffee being poured out, with creamers and sugar cubes being set out I drank mine black. Who needs all that stuff? The coffee here tastes better without it!

“On another note. What is Nightmare Night?”

“Oh, right, you probably never celebrated it back home.” Oh god, she pulled out a book, this is going to be a long one. I’ve seen her explain things like this once, to her friend Rainbow who was checking out the latest Daring Do book. I haven’t met Rainbow past the whole interrogation thing, but she seems like the type of girl who would know a thing or two about fun.

“Nightmare Night is a celebration of fall. Named after the same night Nightmare Moon was banished to the moon. It was coined by sir Haunted House, who decided to theme a new holiday to give honor to Nightmare Moon. It comes in a few parts, first is Trick-or-Treat! Go door to door with costumes to get candy, but they share the candy with Nightmare Moon so she may not haunt their dreams. Next is the Fall Festival, with games, music, and stalls. The last part is to get the weather ready for fall, that mainly falls on the weather team!”

Woah, she can really just keep going, but even still it’s Halloween. A holiday that has been ingrained in my mind for so many years. So if Nightmare Night is coming, then…

“I’m going to need a costume, but what to be…I need ideas. Twilight, who are you going to be?”

“Oh. You’ll know when you see him.”

“Him?”

“Yes! He’s Sta-“ She stopped herself. “Oh I see what you’re doing there, sneaky colt.”

“I was trying something?”

“Don’t play dumb.” She giggles, for the third time this time. If I didn’t know any better then I think she likes my very odd sense of humor, or lack thereof.

Women are weird.

“Aaanyway. Costume ideas…” I’m trying to shoot an idea into my head, but I’m shooting blanks. Also this gun doesn’t even shoot blanks, so it’s broken! Get me a new gun, er brain, whatever.

“That is a good question. For your first Nightmare Night. I’d say get something simple! There’s a Specter Hollow Eve store in Ponyville.”

Specter Hollow Eve? Sounds oddly similar to another store. I wonder if it also appears from basically nowhere then vanishes into the night. If it’s corny costumes I shall wear then corny costumes I shall get!

“Huh, well I’ll go check out that store…right now!” I stand up.

“Wait! We can’t skip breakfast! It’s on our schedule! I already planned this out ahead of time?”

“What?”

“I think we should slowly introduce you into Nightmare Night without it being totally overwhelming. So you can get into the spirit of the night. So, I got our schedule here.” A roll of parchment encased in her magic was drawn somewhere—I really need to ask about that pulling stuff from out of view—unfurling the parchment the roll rolled past me and into the main chamber of the library.

“Okay. So I separated the day from fun things, which are in red, and not fun things which are in black.”

Looking my eyes over the parchment, something was off, “…but they’re all red.” I told her.

“I know!” She began to dance in place, not much of a dance more of her stomping her hooves on the floor. Is she…stimming? That’s adorable! Also terrifying, she’s going to enjoy teaching me way too much.

According to my story I’m an immigrant leaving a war torn country, which Twilight pinpointed as the County of Longsword in Griffonia. I just accepted that’s where I’m from, if only she could scan my soul and see where I’m truly from, I’ve yet to meet someone who can cross dimensions.

I digress, point is, she took it upon herself to teach me Equestrian customs, holidays, and other such goodies, plus they’re good Friendship lessons to Celestia up with the weekly upkeep of her letters going through. Never knew that was a rule until now, but it makes sense to me a teacher has to know how her student is progressing.

Twilight nudged me towards the table. “After breakfast, It’s good to start going down the list one by one.”

“I see that. So how many things are we going to do.”

“Oh you know…buying costumes, history of nightmare moon, books about Nightmare Night, the first Nightmare Night, the biggest Nightmare Night Celebration-“ She just kept listing off what was on her list. Honestly, I’m quite excited which is odd, considering back home I hated history, but in the other worlds learning about their history and wars was so much more enjoyable. Perhaps it’s because they’re different and unique, while still being as petty as others.

Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two.

“Okay! So let’s get started!”

“Wait what?” Suddenly a hoof grasped my chest and I was pulled out the front door of the Library. This is going to be a long day.

[Activity 1: Costume Shopping]

I walked out of the dressing room with a green tuxedo, with a big green forehead, bolts are attached to my neck by some mean.

“Hmmm. I thought it would be perfect because you’re green but you’re too green now.” Twilight has been sitting on that chair, studying me with each costume I wear. It was charming the first time, I felt like I was doing a private show, but now it feels like I’m modeling for a very strict fashion show host:

“How about we try the centurion armor? It’s made for pegasi but if we just…”

“Right…” Also, learned that the guys in this world are the ones with the sexy outfits. Good thing Twilight didn’t pick any of those out.

[Activity 6: Trick-or-Treating!]

“Trick or Treat! Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat!” I’ve been practicing outside of Twilight’s tree house for a couple minutes now. I know the chant I’m just messing with her for fun.

“Anonymous, no! That’s the wrong chant again, also what are feet and why would I want to smell them?”

“No idea…someone is into it…” I muttered.

“Pardon?”

“No.” Don’t Twilight. You don’t know the forces you’re playing with.

“Oh. It’s Trick-or-Treat! Nightmare’s Eve! Give me something good to eat!”

“Yeah yeah. I got it this time, honest.”

“Good! Cause after this we got reading to do!”

“Oh yeah, the readings. That’s going to be something?”

[Activity 13: Nightmare Night and Death!]

“A surprising statistic shows that no pony has passed away on Nightmare Night. There’s plenty of theories to why this happens, it could be that Nightmare Moon is merciful with the candy she is offered, or that all the candy is healthy for our bodies to contain. As a Mare of Science myself, I believe that the magic contained within the sweets and the over abundance has caused an unintended life extending effect. Not unlike Earth Ponies living longer than the other tribes due to having magic inside their bodies at all times.”

Wow. Lore.

My butt is sitting down at a desk she pulled up. No idea where she was keeping this. However, this stool is very wobbly, it’s fun! However I must keep my focus! Don’t get distracted by the very funny stool! This stool can drop a beat, but it can’t drop my focus!

“Any questions?”

Aw, shit. What do I say? I can’t say no like that last time. I need to show her I’m paying attention.

“Why?”

“Yes Anonymous, everyone wants to know the why no pony hasn’t died during Nightmare I assure you, no harm will come your way during that time!”

A stagnant wind blows through my body. I don’t like that sentence Twilight. You’re going to jinx me!

[Final Activity: Nightmare Night Review]

“In short, you now know everything about Nightmare Night! Congratulations!”

I have no idea where we got this cap and gown for this faux graduation, but I’m not complaining I walked up on ‘stage’ which was just desk she was teaching me from the entire time.

“I have a few words, if I may be so bold.”

“The floor is yours.” She stepped away from the desk to give me space.

“Ladies and Gentlecolts, I’d like to thank you all for teaching me the ins and outs of Nightmare Night. I may not have known much before, but I can now see how much of an integral holiday to remember Luna, Nightmare Moon, and the sacrifices Celestia made to make sure she never forgot her sister. Celestia knows I may never forgive myself if I sealed my Sister on the moon. Still, I can recognize the culture of other places, no matter how different it is from my own, I can still accept and appreciate what it does for every pony. Thank you.”

“YEAH WOOOO!” What the fuck? PINK HORSE?

“Pinkie? How did you get in here?” Twilight is flabbergasted, fair enough. She did just write down my speech and sent it to Celestia.

“What? You think I’d miss a graduation ceremony! That gives me an excuse to party!” Where did she get the cannon!

“Pinkie wait!”

With a tug on the strings, a cake shot at me and knocked me down. Chocolate and…strawberry! Aw hell yeah thanks Pink Horse!

“No problemo Nonny!”

What?

“What?”

This is weird. She is just like this, I’m not absorbing any chaos magic from Pinkie. Unless she is actually full of…never mind it’s unlikely.

Odd mind reading aside today was a good day. Pinkie gave me a party, even if it was pretty small—Also cake—and Twilight got that letter sent to Celestia. I pulled that speech out my ass, but it’s the best way for me to continue on.

Another entry for the diary in my actual book.

Author's Note

A messy chapter in my opinion. I probably should get an editor for my story soon.

At My Side All Along

What do you know about Nightmare Night, son?!

I have…NO IDEA!

Good talk, son!

Thanks dad!

Anyway, Nightmare Night is upon us! Twilight has been in her room for a couple of hours now, she keeps telling me “she wants to look the part” a lot, but I think she’s just shy about her costume. Probably something cute, like a main character from a book, or a knight in shining armor, or even a prince from a book.

Me personally, I’m wearing a cape. It’s I could find that wasn’t too revealing or going overboard. Just a cape. It also comes with these neat little hairband with a halo. So I guess I’m an angel. I wonder if someone is a devil so I can make a funny joke.

“Twilight! You done yet!”

“Just one moment just gotta! Tighten…this!” She is struggling with something, tighten something? Like…nope! No dirty thoughts today. It’s fun and whimsical time. Nerdy cute horse should stay nerdy and cute.

“Gah! I’ll deal with it later!” She opens the door, it’s the big reveal and…

“Huh…” It was an odd sight, she was wearing a cape and a hat, embroidered with bells I could only find partially familiar, but the odd part was the make up she used to look older and a fake bushy beard that was hanging on her face.

“Sorry about the wait.” She almost stumbled on her cape but caught herself.

“Pfffp! Nice look gramps! I don’t even know who that is!” Oh yeah, almost forgot about Spike. He’s here too. Wearing a costume of a dragon, even though he is a dragon. Aight, odd suit.

“Spike! Don’t you recognize him?”

“No.” He began to point and laugh at Twilight’s costume, but to be fair. It is pretty amusing.

“Anonymous? Not even you?”

“I mean…ancient wizard, beard, bells, and no whistles…” I could say Merlin, but she did teach me about something, plus all the magic books I read did mention a guy by his full title nonetheless.

“Yes. Yeeesss!” She was getting giddy, guess she was hoping for someone to recognize it.

“Starswirl the Bearded? Or was it Starswirl the Old Pillar?…” They weren’t clear, but they kept saying he was the true escalation of the research into magic. As before, unicorns used their magic for two things, shooting lasers and telekinesis.

“Starswirl the bearded! Yes!” Her smile was worth knocking the old noggin over for information.

“I knew it was something having to do with beards and a great wizard. He kept showing up in all the magic texts I’ve been reading. It’s good to have a refresher.”

“Oh right, you know some some spells were so good, that even today’s researchers couldn’t improve them! Starswirl was truly a head of his time!”

“Neat. Should probably find a biography of him. You gotta have one in here somewhere.”

“Yeah. I keep it in my personal bookshelf next to my bed!”

“Phsa! Eggheads.” Spike is unamused by our banter. “Get a room you two!”

Twilight instantly recoiled at that statement. Even with her heavy use of make up, I can see the blush. “S-Spike!”

“Can’t afford one.” My flat words stop the two.

“But you don’t pay rent…” Twilight muttered, but I could still hear her.

“Still can’t afford one.” Twilight looks saddened, did I shut down a moment of her thinking we had a chance? Oh god. She was into me? Unlikely, need more data. She can’t be attracted to a literal homeless guy she picked up off the street. To be fair this homeless guy did teach the princess so I’m probably someone of some merit, and she did assume I escaped from “Longsword” so I’m a foreign refugee. I should tell her the truth about myself if she ever wants to be actually do something with me.

“Would if I could. Just saying.” I started to walk out the door, fixing my previous transgressions. At least I think. Flirting is hard, I don’t know what to say.

Twilight fell into a deeper blush as Spike climbed on her back, whispering something into her ear. I just needed to break away from her for a while, she has been my only female contact this entire week and a half. Also, I would like some friends, maybe Davenport could be good, Big Mac could also be good, and I think that Lyra girl can help with the lack of female contact. It’ll be great because she is a hardcore lesbian with Bon Bon, even if they still call eachother ‘Best Friends’ I can see the writing on the wall.

“Hey Twilight. I’m going to check out the fair. Have fun!”

“Okay. I’ll be taking Spike Trick—or—Treating!” She was saying that oddly forcefully, I won’t question it. She probably has something on her mind.

Oh wait, Luna was coming today, she’s probably thinking about that. When is she coming anyway and does Twilight know? Probably should’ve told her…

Oh well! Nothing bad will happen I’m sure of it!

But for now, it’s time to Socialize, make my own friends, get a girlfriend someday! I can’t be mooching off Twilight forever! I haven’t even so much as talked to her friends when I moved in, other than Pinkie. That’s only because she’s Pinkie.

Wow, where did all that energy come from?

Time to not use it, time to…fucking uh…

I look around at the fair grounds, stalls selling tasty treats, a catapult with pumpkins are in the distance, those could be fun to use, oh hey there’s a-

CRACK! A thunderous roar caught me off guard causing me to yelp loudly as a result. I’m not normally scared of thunder, but magical thunder, that’s a whole different story! I absorb it, yes, but the magic from the bolt comes into my body so quickly it feels like a tingle through my back.

All I could hear above me was hard laughter, someone was laughing with their full stomach.

“Oh you should’ve seen the look on your face! Hahahaha! And the sound you made! How does a stallion make that noise!?” A purple figure above me, but the rainbow hair was unmistakable, Rainbow Dash was the one who scared me! How rude!

“You done?”

“Yeah. Hahaha. Yeah…hahaha.” She wipes tears from under her goggles before breaking down into laughter again. “Man I should’ve pranked you earlier! Hahaha!”

She’s just going to keep laughing. Though her costume is familiar, it looks like a Wonderbolts uniform, only this time themed with the night. I wonder what they call themselves. Probably something edgy like Evilbolts, or Scarbolts.

Yet the laughter won’t stop. I’ll get going now, Rainbow is fun and all, but I feel the thundercloud trick is all she’s going to do tonight.

Turning away I began to walk down the fairgrounds, stocking up on candy and other such goodies. Then something caught my eye, a stage in the center of this fun fair. Looking upon the poster I decided to take a quick read.

‘TEST YOUR MUSICAL SKILL’

‘SING ABOUT NIGHTMARE NIGHT’

‘GRAND PRIZE IS 100 BITS!’

Interesting, I could try my hardest, if I had a song in mind. Think Anon, think! What song do you know from other worlds that you could…

Aah, You were at my side all along. My true mentor. My guiding moonlight.

A shock of magical energy flowed through my body. Luna was here, she’s in Ponyville, I can feel it. Nightmare Night is actually about her, and how Celestia had to banish her sister to the moon for a thousand years.

I feel bad, I don’t want to sing about the terror of Nightmare Moon, I don’t want to do that to Luna. She’s not Nightmare Moon anymore, she’s herself now.

I know what I must do. Get on that stage, and sing! Sing with my heart, with my soul, and sing with my will! Get down to rock! Get up to burn! Stand up with pride never fear your desire!

Let’s Rock!

Running to the sign up I saw a DJ there, blue hair, white fur, almost looked like a gender bend of the big guy I saw at Canterlot. I wonder if she has odd blue eyes like him.

“Yo! Signing up?”

“That I am!”

“Cool. Cool. Put your name and band here, if you don’t have a band just put solo.”

“Awesome possum.” Taking the quill and ink I sign myself and solo.

“Anonymous Incognito? Neat! You’re that homeless guy that Filty Kicked out! Ha!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Heard his kid got bored of the cabin a week afterwards! That’s been more funnier! Ha ha!”

“Well. I don’t expect kids to enjoy their things for very long.”

“You said it! Anyway, see ya later. I’ll ring you up when it’s your turn. Show up about say…” She looked around, there was no clock, so she resulted at looking up at the moon. “Thirty-ish.”

“Aight, air enough.” So checking the time from looking at the moon was a skill here. Probably a useful one.

So time to dick around for 30 minutes and return.

Though why is Celestia approaching with Luna? The heat of the sun is breathing down my neck by her just existing and approaching Ponyville. What the hell is going on?

Looking out at the distance, I decide to sit on a bench. Seeing a pony mare with a bun, and a devil outfit!

“I can say the thing now!”

“What?”

“I can be your angle or your devil!”

“What?…” She is unamused.

“Someone will get it?”

“Someone?”

“Yep…”

My Guiding Moonlight.

[A Few Moments Ago]

Anonymous walked outside, with Spike on Twilight’s back he leans in and whispers.

“Cmon Twi’ your crush on him is more obvious than mine.” He jokes, since Twilight teases him on Rarity it’s only fair he does the same.

“I-I know. He seems to not know either.” Twilight is still a little shocked at Anon’s comment about sharing a room. “I think. Is he flirting? That’s not how the books go.”

“Twilight. It’s not always about the books.” Spike kicked his heel into Twilight side gently, just enough to be a friendly jab.

“I-I know. It’s just, all the books I read on this subject keep saying that I should get to know him more. I’ve shown him all of my interests and he reacted positively, but I don’t know anything about him.” Twilight watched as anonymous walked away, heading to the fair grounds nearby. She knows about the bits Luna has given him, and she’s grateful he’s not spend happy.

“True, true. Have you tried asking about that?”

“I thought about it!”

“But have you tried?”

“N-No.”

“Then how will you know if you don’t ask?” Spike, being concerned for his sister leaned down and looked at her face. She was avoiding eye contact, still uncomfortable with the idea of trying.

“I know Spike…it’s just, I think it’s too soon. I need to know more. He’s from Longsword, so maybe I should look up customs from there on…”

“Twilight. You’re dodging the question.”

“I…” She grumbles, trying to think. “You’re right. I should try to hang out with him…the only things I know about his interests areScience and Magic so he’s two for two on similar interests.”

“Then maybe try studying magic with him. You like doing that already, maybe you’ll be faster together?”

“Y-Yeah! I could try! I should send Cadance a letter…she would know what to do better than me.”

“True that. Now c’mon let’s go trick or treating! Oh hey, who’s that carriage for?”

“H-What? Celestia, Luna?!” Commence a freak out.

[Back to Anonymous]

“Snap back to reality…”

No. Not that song, it doesn’t even fit Luna! According to Twilight, Luna was purified from her evil spirit, no snapping back to any form.

“This is hard. How do I plagiarize correctly?” I’ve been playing songs from memory using dream magic, then some illusion magic to actually play the song. Of course I’ll be singing, can’t plagiarize my voice after all.

“Hmmmm…” I could do rock actually, metal is also cool I don’t know if that’s an actual genre of music, I’ll just say it’s music from Longsword. No one knows what a Longsword country music even is.

“NOOOOOOOOO!” Hey Twilight’s voice, I wonder what she’s doing. She probably just noticed Celestia and Luna approaching.

Eh, probably unimportant. I’ll just focus on music. Probably something somber, like a Lullaby for a Princess or something.

But I still want it to be metal or rock. Hmmm.

Name of Heaven? Nope. It’s more about freedom than Luna.
Talk about You? That’s a song about a child. Save that one for later.

Wait, I know.

Celestia, thanks for bringing Luna Home.

I guess the elements too.

Now to wait.

I wonder what Twilight is doing.

“THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!” Luna’s voice is even louder when in person. How? No clue. Still it’s cute when she’s excited.

Why am I getting attracted to horses? No fucking clue. Am I complaining? Yes, because I’m weird. Am I going to stop hitting on the horses? No. Like all creatures, I’d like some love. Perhaps getting to know Twilight isn’t all bad. She’s cute, a huge nerd, and a powerful mage. Three things I’m looking for with someone. Perhaps if we develop the ability to cross dimensions, we can actually be happy, but no. She’ll pass way before I figure it out. It’s difficult.

I’ll have to tell her everything if she actually wants to get together. If she rejects me after the truth, then it wasn’t meant to be. Yet, why do I feel hopeful she’ll accept me for who I am? Do I have a crush on her?

Likely, she’s the only female contact I’ve been regularly seeing here.

If I’m going to attempt to be a member of society, I should get an actual job! I want to be at least not be dependent on her if I’m dating her! It would be like dating your landlady, and that’s already weird enough.

I am unworthy. So I must make myself first!

“Anonymous!” The white mare yelled out my name. “Get on stage. It’s your turn!”

“Thanks Vinyl!”

“Hey, I told you tell me DJ-Pon3!”

“Yes you did.” I walk up the stage. All eyes on me.

“Welcome our next contestant! Anonymous Incognito performing by himself!”

A small cheer was heard. Looking upon the crowd, I saw everyone I know. Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Spike, the girls, and the princesses. Wait, oh no. LUNA AND CELESTIA ARE WATCHING OH FUCK.

It’s okay Anonymous, you can do this. Just sing your song. Let state fright pass over. Relax. Deep breaths.

With a heavy inhale and exhale, I grow determined.

Let’s do this.

Using my horn I manifest instruments made out of a green holographic light. Illusion magic is not my forte but I love playing music with it. Strumming on an electric guitar I feel at peace. You can do this.

The violin. the choir, and the bass plucks.

Turn around, Stay Away.
Laughing so hard, here it goes again.
Time will wait for us, or so I thought.

Upon grass, out of luck.
It’s just our usual stuff and all.
But where have your hoofsteps gone?

What am I doing here?

I don’t know how you’re feeling now
Hope you’re not lonely
Worrying about weather
Are you crying?

Coming Home!
Coming Home!
I’m here waiting for your words.
I’ll be here, brought to you
Can’t wait to see you smiling

Coming Home!
Coming Home!
But my words just fade away
My sun has gone down a long time ago~!

Celestia looks shocked as I’m playing the minor bridge right now. I think she knows I’m singing from her perspective.

Nightmare Night is about both of them after all. The lament of leaving her sister on the moon may not be my place to have a word on, but I’m sure I can still bring happiness to her.

Our Garden, Our School,
Our Neighborhood, places you loved.
Can’t find anything left of you

From the highway to the border
Even over the seven seas
Can’t find your hoofsteps though
Still looking for your trace

I don’t know what you’re doing now
I hope you’re not scared alone

No one will harm you
So please stop crying

Coming Home!
Coming Home!

I’m here waiting for your words
I’ll be here, lonley too
Can’t wait to see you smiling

Coming Home!
Coming Home!
But those words are lost in the wind
Your moon has come up, a long time ago~!

The guitar solo, a place where I can truly understand what I’m doin. What am I doing? I’m singing about something I would never understand. I never had to…no. I never had to, I was forced to abandoned my sibling just like Celestia.

I miss them everyday, even if I don’t remember their face I know the pain you feel Celestia. I just wish I could see my sister face to face again. Even if I can never go back, just one more look would bring me comfort.

I am a mess.

I don’t know, what should I do?
Not sure who you are anymore
Was it only me?
Who thought I was failing

Coming Home!
Coming Home!
You are here, brought to me
I can see you smiling
Coming Home! We are home!
These words won’t ever fade away!
Our Sun has come up a long time ago~~!

I may have plagiarized, but I think they got the message. My voice hurts from the last high note.

With the resounding finish I let the guitar play a few strings then end the song. A slow strum to end the music.

I was met with cheering? Looking at the crowd they’re happy. I guess the song doesn’t exist in this world. I feel dirty plagiarizing, but I feel happy to have performed it myself. I think I’ll just call it a cover to keep myself happy. Thanks illusion magic.

With a bow I turn and walk off the stage. That was awkward. I kinda don’t want to show my face right now. I don’t know why. I feel I need a helmet to hide myself. Fucking imposter syndrome can you piss off?

Take a deep breath, before creation comes destruction, just destroy your mind’s mess for clarity, then it will be clear of what to do.

“I feel we should thank thee anonymous.” Oh hey Luna. Didn’t feel you…LUNA!?

My head turns to face behind me, Luna and Celestia are there, so is Twilight. I guess she is Celestia’s pupil so it makes sense to why they’re here.

“Despite not singing a dark, brooding song like the rest. You chose to sing about Celestia. Why?” Twilight chimed in.

“I guess. It’s because I wanted to sing about something I feel could’ve been sung about. I don’t know really. It felt correct.”

“Well, Anonymous Dear.” Oh god Celestia called me dear like I’m a child. This feels odd. “I’d like to thank you personally. Though you may not be winning the competition, it is nice to hear a positive version of Nightmare Moon’s banishment.”

“O-Oh. Thank you Celestia.” With that, Celestia and Luna depart. Twilight walking up to me.

“So. What spell did you use to manifest those instruments? I haven’t seen a spell like that yet.” Twilight, curious as usual. The nerd.

“Oh those a combination of conjuration and illusion magic.”

“Of course! Quick you gotta tell me the details while we go home.”

“Yeah. Of course. I can do that.” I smile, maybe I did good today. On our way home I began to describe how my instruments work. Perhaps I can actually learn my own song or two, if a cover is what gets me into music then so be it.

Author's Note

Plagiarism goes hard.

Also actual song for your listening pleasure:

https://youtu.be/q707LpwDKiI?si=O6cFf3bUBr3CnIy4

Not gonna write my own music yet. I’m still garbage at that, but I’m going to keep trying to write this and music.

The Very Isolated Times. [Short]

It’s been another week. Research has been going steady, we finally figured nothing of note. Twilight’s research is a lot less exciting than I thought, still fun at least. I just hope we begin experimenting on the Timberwolf’s bits and parts eventually.

Turns out, Twilight doesn’t have to do a weekly friendship report. Celestia kinda found out how much it strained Twilight so just extended the due date to two weeks in between letters. Which is nice, however turns out there’s another holiday I was unaware of, Sibling Day.

Sibling Day and Family Appreciation Day are both well meaning holidays, I guess it replaces Mother’s and Father’s Day by including everyone. Leaves one issue, I don’t have an excuse to celebrate it and most businesses are closed to handle the local event or visiting their siblings. Even Pink Horse is visiting her sisters.

That just leaves me, alone. Twilight and Spike went to Canterlot to visit their brother, good for them good for them. At first they didn’t want too because they didn’t have someone to look after the library while they were gone, so I was entrusted with holding the fort down for the two of them.

I could go out and socialize, but it isn’t my place. I don’t know anyone who isn’t visiting a family member. I hate my lack of social ability to just approach ponies. Why is it so difficult for me to talk normally to someone? Why does it always lead to someone else leading a conversation? Why do I keep complaining about an issue I can resolve by talking to someone else?

I should probably shut up. It’s not good to just keep telling off myself. You’d think I’d have charisma after visiting so many worlds, but no, I’ve only talked to the people who want to hang out with me. I never felt the need to go out and find a party to join.

I don’t have family here, but I do have a method of visiting family at least. In my memories I can see them, even if I don’t remember their faces I can still remember enough to appreciate them.

Closing my eyes I decided to take a visit to the dream world.

“Hello Dreamscape.” I told the empty space, only a few dots lined the sky around me, other dreams. So far only pony dreams I can see. I don’t know about other species’ dreams.

“Alright.” I waited for a moment, maybe I could talk to Luna. Yet I didn’t feel her presence. She’s probably hanging out with Celestia.

A defeated sigh escaped my lips, maybe I could…

Stop! Just visit your family man, it’s the only time you’ll be isolated long enough to see the memory. Take it!

My magic shot out then looped back to hit myself in the head, shifting though the memories inside. I didn’t want to fully replay them, just watch the memories. It’s like watching a screen but inside my eyes. It’s nice.

Sitting down to get comfy, I smile. It’s been how many years? I can’t tell, being dead makes me blind to that. I know it’s roughly 39 lifetimes I’ve lived, but I’ve died more times than I could feel at ease. Dying on arrival was oddly common.

Yet, I’ve adapted, with magic being the most common element throughout all of them. I learned magic, and I dealt with political intrigue way too much. Sometimes that got me assassinated, but at least they were quick.

Looking at an image of my original family I could feel tears slide down my face. It’s been too long. I can’t forget them, I already forgot their face, but I can’t forget who they were to me. I can’t afford to let them die a second time.

I decided to open my eyes, that was enough. I’m surprised Luna isn’t here still, I thought she would detect me in the Dreamscape. Guess she’s too busy with her sister.

A light of my horn brought me back to being awake. The Library being the bright beacon I needed to see today. Perhaps Twilight could give me some pointers on how to make new friends, or I could join in on her friend group. Yeah, that would give me something to work towards, a goal. Perhaps even some fun!

Twilight has been too good to me, you know? I don’t really deserve someone like her to help me, I should figure out what she would need. I can do almost anything.

I got an idea.

I stepped down to the basement, rummaging through the boxes I pulled out an oddly long purple crystal.

I wonder if she’ll appreciate a new weapon, girls like weapons, right?

Author's Note

Short chapter today. I got no excuses.

Presents! It’s not even a holiday!

BOOM

“I’ve done it! I fucking did it!” I took off my goggles and shook the soot off of my face. After many trials an errors I’ve created the human’s most deadly weapon.

A shotgun.

My earlier attempts were…shotty to say the least. Heh, pun.

Ba dum tsss

Hehe. I knew remembering the instrument spell would be useful. Anyway!

So I’ve created a shotgun, to be more precise it’s a double barrel shotgun that uses crystals instead of buckshot. I’ll still call it buckshot because I haven’t figured out how to tighten the spread. Still deletes anything in a 15 foot radius don’t get me wrong. Just the walks of shame back from the Everfree forest with a broken gun is too much for me.

The barrel is long, big and made of steel Twilight said she was going to use but never had any actual plans. The wood stock is obvious, can’t skip out on that. The front opens up, trigger is weird, had to make the trigger activate from the back instead of the front due to fucking hooves. I manage. Crystals are lodged in the back as usual, but the best part about it—I don’t have to swap crystals! I just open the hatch and let the crystals cool for a second then I shoot two more shots! I feel like a badass letting smoke emit from my shotgun as I wait patiently to delete another person from life. Heh violence.

I’m really giddy for reason. Big cannon go brrrrrr!

Bitches love cannons, or so the voices in my head tell me.

I forgot the mention I didn’t sleep tonight! That’s probably important! Maybe.

All nighter and didn’t even leave the house! Don’t worry Twilight I still did my chores when you come back eventually!

When did she say she was coming back? The Basement doesn’t have a clock or source of light. I should probably go check about that! I can’t shoot my working fire arm while people are sleeping, that would be very rude.

Also this is probably a Chekhov’s gun moment here, it’s probably gonna be important eventually. Like right now!

As I bring myself upstairs I noticed it was midnight. Damn, I must’ve forgotten to eat, or sleep, or do my chores. Eh, can’t be bothered! Science takes priority when I’m alone. God I’m such a well adjusted pony, why haven’t I made friends outside of Twilight and Spike? Do the girls count?

Eh.

Anyway. I also had an idea! I needed a little sister, so I should adopt someone! I’m a trustworthy individual who can be trusted with children. Wait I have no papers, no matter cloning shouldn’t be too difficult, it’s like making a body double only I just need a little bit of DNA. I can get some off of myself!

Or I can build a robot, Twilight has some mechanical parts I can ask her if she built these devices herself or bought them.

Sitting on the stairs I just sit there, my head mildly spinning from no sleep. It kinda hurts, a lot. Too much! I know a good solution, coffee!

Sliding over to the kitchen I quickly place the beans in my mouth then drink some boiling water. They’re crunchy, the water could be hotter actually. It’s a good shortcut for when you don’t want to wait for coffee to boil. I love how crunchy the beans are, tasty stuff!

With caffeine in my system I take a trip outside. I should meet Twilight at the station, if anything I know she’d be on time. Earlier she told me she would be here at 12 PM, so I have sometime for…wait, what time is it?

I’m outside, there’s no clocks, giving the sun a look burnt my eyes slightly, so I don’t know what time it is. Who do I know has a clock? I don’t remember if Twilight has a clock, last I checked she just knew what time it was on instinct, or has a pocket watch. Either way it’s a weird system, since Celestia literally moves the sun and moon, does she dictate what time it is?

Fuck if I know.

Pacing around Ponyville, this really is a tranquil town. Now that I’m not looked at as the homeless person wandering around, it’s honestly peaceful. The feeling of being at ease and not having to run is nice. So nice I could just unwind.

Sitting my ass down on a bench, I look up at the sky, seeing the clear blue sky. My eyes feel heavy, but I can’t sleep, the caffeine won’t let me feel tired. Magical caffeinating hits different y’all, it’s one hell of a drug. It does the job off preventing your brain from feeling tired but better. No idea how much better, it it’s better.

A deep exhale escapes my nose, I need a friend. Someone to hangout with, and I’m out and about. Yet, why am I avoiding social interaction by sitting on a bench?

Then shut up and get socializing! You only live in this world one time, make the most of it!

With a newfound passion, I stand up from the bench, and went down to the only place I know a friend is guaranteed: Sugarcube Corner!

Just walking in I see a couple of ponies just enjoying their sugary foods on the table. There’s a mare in-front of me who reminds me of someone…

“First, I find Stawberry to be dreadful so please skim out on strawberry this time, second I require a happy birthday Filthy Rich in cursive. I have to hawk my husband some respect, and finally, add his Cutiemark to the cake.” A very dignified mare was speaking, she sounds a lot like Rarity of she was from the Real Hosewives. It’s an odd experience.

“Oki Doki Miss Rich!” Pink horse is writing down something at a dexterity even I couldn’t match. How is she doing that with her mouth?

“Thank you Pinkie. Do not disappoint me.” With that, what I can only assume is Spoiled Rich walked past me. Even as she muttered something under her breath, I can still hear her. “At least the homeless pony found a home, good, one less stain on our town.” I could feel the malice in her voice. It’s quite hurtful.

Anyway, turning to the pink horse I smile and walk over to her. Break the ice, that’s a good start.

“Hey.” Amazing start!

“Hi Nonny!” I wonder when she started to call me that, I don’t remember consenting to a nickname, but if I am trying to be her friend then I must be courteous.

“Pink horse.”

“Homeless horse.”

“The cookie part in your store, the chocolate, is that chocolate chips, or raisins?”

“Well if we’re talking percentage, then at least-“

“I do not care for raisins.”

“Neither do I! So we have 100% chocolate chip cookies.”

“Fantastic. I’ll take a baker’s dozen.”

“16 chocolate chips coming up! What’s the occasion nonny?”

“Seeing if you know a thing or two about giving gifts.” Make a friend and figure out how to present Twilight her new shotgun, a win win. I just through to this.

“Oooooo. You got a gift, for Twilight?” She leans over the countertop, leaning closer too me.

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Easy! Twilight keeps mentioning her favorite book a lot, something about you and the wizard character being super similar, wondering if you came from a book but decided that was impossible, but considering in the future we get pulled into a comic book, anything is possible!”

“What.”

“Oh nothing, just Power Ponies being a really fun time.”

“I-I guess?” What the hell is she talking about?

DING!

A loud ding came from the kitchen. With Pinkie rushing in then out in a pink blur.

“When did you?”

“Oh, Nonny I always have my friend’s favorite ready at any moment.”

“So we’re friends then?”

“Of course! I’m friends with every pony!”

“Well that’s fantastic.”

“Of course there’s one ponies I’m super best friends with, Lyra, Doctor Hooves, and Muffins! Then there are my super duper best friends with Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, you know the rest! Then there’s my friends which are ponies I kinda get along with, even if we disagree on stuff every pony is my friend!”

“So where do I fit in on that?”

“Hmmmmm. Super Best Friends! Normally my friends just ignore me, but my Super Duper Best Friends can’t be replaced! Also I went to your graduation so I we are super best friends!”

“Fair enough!”

“Oh this is exiting. Are you excited! I’m sure this line doesn’t get old from the millionth person who reads or hears this line!”

“What?”

“Never mind that! What did you get Twilight?”

“Well it’ll be a surprise. So I’m not going to tell you.”

“Oooooo. I gotcha I get ya. How long is it?”

“I dunno.” I put my hooves on the counter and spread them apart. “Bout this long.”

“Nice. Glad you’re not giving her anything dirty.”

“Pardon?”

“Nope. Just not yet anyway!”

“So are you just placed here as a fun way to tell the future or are you going to be shipping me and Twilight?”

“Yep!”

“Right…you know how to present it to Twilight or?…”

“Don’t think too hard about it! If you keep thinking about it she likes the gift or not, soon you’ll be stuck trying to present the gift in a good way, but that’ll just keep you on an endless cycle to trying to give the gift! Just give it, don’t be afraid.” Oddly good advice from the Pink.

“Huh…thanks Pinkie.”

“No problem. Also! Twelve bits please!”

“Oh right, the cookies.” I turn behind me and see a small line has formed. “And I’ve been holding up the line, oh lord.”

“Okay. Okay. You can do this. Twilight comes home in…” I look around, still no clocks. “Any time! Any time is bad time I need more coffee.”

I scratch my head, which is weird to do with horse hooves, and shake it real quick. “No! You have to wait! It should be around 12 am sharp and if I know Twilight. She’ll be home about a minute early.”

Taking a deep breath, I sit down. I did my chores, I did something to pass time, turns out hanging out with Pink is actually pretty fun. We got to play cards. She won every time. I can’t help but wonder if she was cheating because of that poofy hair of her’s. Also spine breaking goodbye hugs.

At least I got a friend. Just need to fill out a friend group, unfortunately cannot include pink in the friend group due to her already being in a friend group, which is also the same group my landlady is in. So, yeah. Mission accomplished.

With the door swinging open, I could hear spike yawning. “Did we really have to wake up at 6 AM to catch the train?”

Twilight was looking like her usual self, while Spike somehow had bags under his eyes. I didn’t know dragons can get those.

“You slept through the train ride, how tired can you be?”

“Very. I didn’t sleep well during the ride. We could’ve went to Celestia to ask for the carriage.”

“I know, but we should still do things without relying on her.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” With Spike jumping down from Twilight’s back he walks past me.

“Hi Spike.”

“Hey Anonymous.” He was tired, just slowly climbing the stairs up to the other room.

“Hello, Anonymous. I see you kept up with your chores.” Now it’s just me and Twilight. Gotta show her my cool thing.

“Yep! And I finally made a breakthrough!”

With a gasp she leaned in. “Did you finally figure out the accelerator?”

“Well. No, but I did make something else that accelerates something.”

“Like what?”

“This!” With a use of my magic I pull out the shotgun. It’s still good, crystals primed.

“What is that?” She seemed curious, looking down the barrel, by instinct I point the gun up.

“I don’t recommend you do that.”

“But what is it?”

“A shotgun!”

“A shot…gun?” She tilted her head.

“Well, yeah. I thought it was cool.”

“What does it do?”

“Well right now. Anything you put in the barrel here shoots out really fast in a spread. So far I only used these crystals to accelerate any object inside with a minor magnet field, it follows the object down the barrel then shoots through the other side. Making a makeshift rail cannon.”

“Wait. That sounds like Pinkie’s party cannon but pure magic instead of powder, it just a crystal. Anon you know what this means?”

“I created a weapon?”

“Well, that and you figured out how to make a rail system condensed enough to be put down into a small size!”

No one has figured out a gun yet? But they have cannons, so they might have flint locks.

“I mean, right now it shoots lasers because the ammo is other crystals…soo.”

“That’s even better! We can save on so much with this! Think of it Anon! With your shotgun design we can make an engine that runs on pure crystal energy!” She pulls me into a hug she gets even more giddy. “I gotta get down into the basement, with the Timberwolf heart we can get started on a design for the engine, then we can probably work on condensing that engine smaller and smaller…”

She trails off as she runs down to the basement.

What can I say? Bitches love cannons.

I shouldn’t call Twilight a bitch, that’s rude! Also untrue! So…

Mares love a good shotgun!

That’s better!

It’s alive! [Short]

“Hammer.” Twilight lit up her horn, setting aside a screw driver.

“Hammer.” I slid the hammer to Twilight.

She battered down some nails.

“Razor Blade.” The hammer was tossed aside, I’m pretty sure I heard glass and a cat meow, but that’s probably in my head.

“Razor Blade.” I wonder why she needs one. We have a scalpel to the side. With a flick of my magic I slid a set of razor blades to her.

With some cutting and some more slicing. She took a step back. Examining her work.

Well, I also helped but we did it together.

“Finally. After many moons. We have done it!” Twilight lifted up her goggles, letting her soot colored face to be broken up with her eyes.

“Yep. I don’t know how long a moon is but we have done something.”

Twilight took cables and attached it to the object.

“Ground Spell active?”

“Ground Spell refreshed for good measure.”

“Good. Activating power in…3…2…1!” Twilight ran across the lab room and pulled down on a red handled wall switch.

The object gave a soft hum, the other device attached to the object lit up, the valve on it slowly turns, hitting a value. Twilight rushed over to see the results and squealed in excitement.

“Anonymous! We’ve reached 4 megawatts!” She’s stomping her hooves again, definitely stimming. God that is oddly adorable.

“Nice!”

“Anonymous, you don’t understand. This is about…3.8 times more than the current stove generator! We could win the Mare Bell Prize. I could see it now.”

Is she daydreaming? She’s just closing her eyes and smiling. I mean, day dreams are technically dreams. This is an invasion of privacy so I’m just gonna peer in to see what she’s so excited about.

Twilight imagined herself on stage, in a fine black dress, next to her was Anonymous in a black tux that matched her’s. Together they were on stage, an adoring audience before them cheering for them.

“For the creation of the Crystal Engine, we hereby give Anonymous and Twilight Sparkle the Mare Bell Prize in Engineering!”

“Thank you! Thank you!” Twilight felt tears in her eyes as she waved to the crowd, her friends were sitting in front, excited for her.

“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I am so proud of you.” Celestia flew down from above landing on the stage next to her.

“I am honored Princess.”

Anonymous walked over to Twilight and gently guided her face with his hoof. “I’ve been holding it in for a while, but would you like to go out with me?”

“YES!” She tackled Anonymous to the ground, everyone still cheering.

I stopped viewing as soon as I saw that. You know, I never expected her to actually like me that much. I had suspicions ever since Nightmare Night but this is a much different beast. How do I approach this? I can’t ask her out right now, it would ruin her fantasy. She’s also gotten really physical with me lately, a lot more hugs, some minor nose rubs. I know horses are more physical creatures whilst also being a matriarchal society, so she’s probably putting the moves on me. Considering the 35-65 split on males to females it makes sense to me that the females would be the ones to be the initiators.

Also, Twilight reads to me as the male equivalent of a loser, so she most likely fantasizes about the male approaching her. Unless she just asks me out straight away, which is another event I’m not prepared for.

I should probably prepare for when she does, as it stands I see myself as unworthy of dating a powerful wizard such as her.

Though I’m feeling a strange sort of energy, erratic, intense and coming from upstairs. It feels like someone is blessing another person with talent in an ability.

I should check that out, Twilight has resulted into cuddling a pillow right now. I think she forgot I was here. Might as well deal with the guest while I’m going upstairs.

Author's Note

I decided to make these basement chapters shorter for reasons.

I don’t know, I’m out of ideas.

A Mirror Image.

That source of magic should be here.

Oh it’s just Apple Bloom, covered in Cutie Marks. I’m just gonna…ignore that.

“Sorry Apple Bloom, Twilight is in the basement just go ask her for help!”

I did not have any solution to that, what the fuck does a Cutie Mark even do?

“Salut, où vas-tu? Reviens!”

“No time! I’m going!” Yeah, I’m just gonna…go.

Applejack was there and she was disappointed of the guy. Twilight has expressed she had maybe a tiny little itty bitty crush on him, just a maybe. She wondered what Twi saw in him, this is probably not his finest moment so she’ll give him a pass.

Quickly running outside I take a deep breath, in case you were wondering, I left because Talent Imbuing magic is really annoying to get absorbed, you get a skill in something you don’t need and have the impulse to just do that skill. It’s how they get you to learn the skill, since it’s also a little bit of hypnosis magic.

Taking a breath, I need to get a little bit away from Applebloom. She spoke french, she’s dead to me now. How dare she! Though to be fair, it wasn’t her fault, it’s the fault of whatever Talent Magic has taken ahold of her, and if I know anything, then the true culprit is in the forest!

I shall find them, I shall capture them, and no one shall never have talent again. I’m not getting applause, I’m sad now.

With my roaring energy I run towards the forest. If anything it should be somewhere. No idea where I’m going, but a bird is chirping at me. Turning my head to face the chirps I see Mr. Jay.

“No time friend! I’m going deep into the forest today! I shall find this talent giving item and put a stop to it!”

‘Hey, Listen to me! The Zebra isn’t in her hut right now! She’s buying tea for a bit!’ The bird keep chirping at me, I’m not going to activate the talk to animals spell, because I don’t want to.

“Cool, cool. See ya!” I turn to sprint into the forest. Deciding the dank depths are more favorable today. I’ll just avoid the path and hop into this pile of mud! Those blue flowers also look kinda spooky, they’re colored like they’re poisonous, so I’ll just side step those!

Why am I like this today? Running into the forest and deciding to avoid social interaction? Manic horse brain probably. I just felt like running I guess? Do horses just take off for no reason when they’re discontent with life? I don’t know.

Yet I am here, hooves muddy, body sweaty, and heart racing. My breath has gotten ragged and heavy. Probably some water is needed. Hearing some growling behind me, I can only assume a beast can smell me.

“Fuck it! We go into caves today!” I don’t know where I am still, it’s too dark to get a precise location of where I am, but I do see a hole. It’s slightly glowing with bioluminescent flowers, but I’ll take my chances in hoping it’s unoccupied. I jumped in, curling my body into a ball as I tumble downwards.

As I roll down the hill, the twists and turns of the cave caused me to speed up, I felt like hurling due to how fast I ended up rolling. Yet when I got to flat land I opened up my body and landed on my stomach.

Groaning in pain I lift my head up. Looking out at the world around me, it’s wonderful actually. The glow of the plants perfectly light up the pool of water. The dark brambles line the walls line the floor and crawl up to the ceiling. This is quite peaceful, but I don’t know what this place is. Water is water, so I walked over and dipped my head inside, trying to take a sip, only to find that I can’t even get the liquid inside of my mouth, it avoids my mouth on purpose it feels.

“Well. That’s pointless.” I sit down on the ground, looking at the pool.

“I know right, what a rip off.”

“Yep. Don’t I know it.”

“Yep…”

Turning my head, I see a green stallion with black hair and a question mark on his bum. He looks familiar, don’t I know him?

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“Dunno. Was thirsty and heard monsters. You?”

“Same actually. That’s pretty funny, how did I…”

We pause. Staring at each other. Wait a second, that dude is familiar. It’s me!

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” We yelled at the same time.

“I…this…” My brain malfunctioned for a moment, shaking my head back straight we stare at each other. This is odd, a clone of myself but he isn’t evil, or a robot, or anything odd. I can’t detect a soul in him, so he’s not truly me, just a copy. My magic draining is being nullified as well, since we’re both passively absorbing each other at the same rate.

“So…yeah.” We pause, trying to cope with this.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” He started up.

“I hope so.” I replied.

“On the count of three.”

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three!”

“WE SHOULD CLONE OURSELVES A LITTLE SISTER!”
“DESTROY YOU TO RETURN TO NORMALCY!”

“What.”
“Pardon?”

…

This is going to be a long day, Twilight is probably busy with Cutie Mark Abomination Applebloom, so this is up to me to take myself out.

…

“So cloning a little sister? Using my DNA and this pool?” I look into the water, Anonymous the Second walked next to me and stared down with me.

“Yep. I don’t know how we’re not absorbing the water here considering that we can just absorb stuff, but I’m willing to die for this cause. I ain’t got a soul so I can actually die!”

“Wow…a miracle I can’t obtain.” At least they’re me, giving them death is a release they’ll actually have. Even if they just get deleted from the universe.

“Right. You reincarnate. Whoops.” The Second lit his horn up and pulled out some paper. I didn’t store paper, so he probably just stole it from somewhere.

“Let’s get to work.” The Second began to write down something on the parchment, it’ll make sense to me once I read it I hope. It is me writing it. He might have obtained a slightly altered version of me where he likes experimenting a bit too much, I wonder if that’s a side effect from my mood going into the pool.

“I wonder…” I look at the pool, it was time to get to work after all. With a smile I jump in.

“Roll call!” I call out to my horde of Anonymous Horses.

“Right!” All of me’s lined up, ready to get to business.

“Our goal! Figure out how cloning magic works, then learn it, then use it ourselves!” It’s probably already been studied, but the pool is painless and creates perfect clones. Why not abuse the power while I can?

“And a little sister!” The Second in Command is Anonymous The Second.

“That’s weird.”
“Why is the second in command him again?”
“Why was I born?”

“Anonymous the Depressed! Keep your head up! You can die when you’re done!” I had to call out, you know, maybe thinking about sad stuff while jumping in the pool wasn’t a great idea. It probably is, it leaves the others knowing they’ll die once they served their use. It’s like Shadow Clones!

“Yay…”

“Break off team!” I announce. It was quite easy to delegate roles.

Three teams of ten Anonymous Ponies were assigned. Team One was Observation, we take turns jumping into the pool, killing off the clone, then record any magic detected. Team Two was Replication, they tried to copy the magic data recorded by the Pool Observation team. Team Three was the Vanquishers, they kill off any spare clones made by the pool, or any failed replicated clones created by Team Two.

Leading this charge was me, I dubbed myself l Anonymous the First, I was there to be the catalyst of the clone process. I jump into the pool and take a clone out, Team One records data, and Team Three eliminates the extra clone.

Every good leader needed a spokes person, pony, so we have Anonymous the Second. He records failed spells from Team 2 in hoping to get a breakthrough.

So far, we are a well oiled machine.

Still

I wonder how Twilight is doing, I kinda miss her.

I should run experiments with her sometime. This is nice, but it’s still just me.

Huh…

Anyway! We got clones to make and kill! I can come home to Twilight with a brand new spell just for her when I’m done!

Author's Note

I’ve finally figured it out! I got my plans in order. Heheh. Let’s do this!

Foul Filly

“They called me mad! Insane! ANONYMOUS! But finally, I have created the perfect cloning spell!”

“Little sister! Little sister! Little sisters!” Anonymous the Second chanted.

“Seriously who let that guy in charge!”
“We should kill him first!”
“What’s the point in deciding who dies first, we all finally get to die.”

“Anonymous the Depressed, no luck on the whole happiness thing I see! No matter, we all can finally rest. Well you guys can, I still get reincarnated when I die.”

The tears of my men who helped this endeavor was enlightening. Our work has finally finished, how long as it been anyway? I have not seen the sun. I also haven’t been eating at all either. No matter, just teleport home!

“We have fully replicated the spell of this pool of water. Plus, we can edit the very DNA of the clone to create anything we want! Thanks to Anonymous the Second’s notes.”

“Little Sister! Little Sister! Little Sister!” He hasn’t stopped chanting. Was I really that obsessed with little sisters? Or was it just him? Considering the major differences between each of us from the water’s magic, we should be different enough.

“Alright! It’s time for the main event! All clones! Time to die!” I call out, since the crowd is me and I probably have issues they saw no problems with this order.

“About time!”
“Hey let’s play a game!”
“What point is there of a game…”
“The one with the most amount of kills win!”
“Of course…a game of violence.”

And so it broke out, I decided to step back and stand near the entrance of the cave while green lasers, rocks, and sticks flew past me.

The horror I am witnessing is beyond any normal man should see. Team Three, they are crushing it, they are a force of nature, they’re killing it on this stage. It’s a lot to see here on this earth, and seeing my group of experienced clone dispatchers fight is a lot.

A sudden explosion from one of the clones is heard, Anonymous the Depressed is somehow expending all of his magic energy in a suicidal collapse of his magic. “I WONT DIE ALONE!” He called out. What a guy.

With Depressed’s magic clearing away the dirt, smoke has risen over the crowd. Lasers still kept shooting out from the dust, I wonder how long this’ll take.

Eh, give or take an extra second.

A loud thud was heard from the cloud, a body falls and a stallion walked though the chaos. Oddly enough Anonymous the Second is the last one standing.

“I only went this long to witness the birth of the little sister!” He was in bruises, the clones are not that durable from the cloning process, yet the second was the one to figure out how to make sure they live just as long as a real horse.

“Is…that it?” You know, I should honor his wishes. He was the first, he has seen everything.

“Yes! You have no idea how long it took to figure out the spell! While you’ve been jumping into pools, I’ve been studying the spell. Learning from the deepest parts of the groups. We have finally reached a breakthrough. Just…take this. Please use it.” He pulls out two parchment pieces, one is the clone spell that the pool of water uses. The other is a spell for creating a little sister, using my DNA specifically.

“You know what. You’ve been good to me, I must give you a unique name. Second Heart. That is your name.”

“I shall wear it with pride.” He smiles, since he can’t use the spell himself, I’ll use it.

“Step back Second. We’ve got a scroll to use up.”

“Yes sir!” He takes a few steps back. With him properly away from me, I light up my horn. I place the clone scroll away into the pocket dimension. The little sister one is set down on the ground. Following the instructions of the spell, I draw a summoning circle in the dirt, letting it wrap around the scroll and ripping a strand of hair from my head. Using the strand of hair as a catalyst, my horn lit up a beam of light shot towards the strand of hair, causing it to float above the scroll. a beam of light shot up from the scroll, the strand glowing green as it slowly turns into the form of a filly. She is about Applebloom’s size, no horn or wings, so an earth pony.

As the light clears and the filly falls down to the dirt, I could hear sobbing behind me. “I can’t believe it! It worked! It workeditworkeditworkeditworked!” Second Heart began to shake me violently as he cries.

“Okay! Okay! Jesus, Second! Chill!”

“Wait so is she our sister or daughter?” Second Heart just stopped crying and looked at me

“Fuck if I know.” How does cloning work? Is she my sister? Me? My daughter since I created her? I’m just going to work sister to make it easier to explain to Twilight. Right, I also need a cover story for why I sprinted out all of a sudden, uhhhhhhhhh. Make one up on the spot with Twilight there, you’re good at that.

“Hey. She’s waking up!” Second Heart turned my head to face the little one, instead of my green eyes she had purple. A small distinction but it’s enough. Other than the non-horned or winged thing.

“Oh, what the fuck!” Her first words were not what I was expecting.

“Yep. Welcome to being alive!” I smile, she’s already growing on me.

“Fucking hate it!” She got up onto her hooves and stared at me, definitely Applebloom’s size.

“I know you do. You’re kinda me? Maybe?” I look over her, small filly, hair is much more fluffier than mine, tail is even more fluffier than mine. Huh, neat. She also has nothing on her flank, so a blank flank like Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. I wonder if Applebloom will keep a cutie mark from the talent magic she was blessed with.

“Yeah yeah, at least you can cast magic.”

“True, aren’t earth ponies blessed with super strength?”

“Dude, I want to throw lighting at people, not punch really hard!” This is an exciting conversation with myself? She’s technically a different person, also where did Second heart go.

I turn my head to see Second Heart in tears on the floor.

“She’s beautiful Anonymous. A little being of a bastard!”

“Fuck you too, I guess!” Little lady really hates everything, perfect someone I can relate too!

“Yeah. She is cute.” I turn to look at her.

“Bite me!”

“So what do we name her? Can’t keep her nameless.”

“Nah. You do that. My time has come…” Second Heart stood up and used a spell to slowly disintegrate his body. “I came to this place with a purpose, and now it’s done. Goodbye Anonymous. I’m glad it was born from your psyche.”

“You know I can just create you again with the spell right? This isn’t really much of a goodbye.” I wave him goodbye, before he fully turned to dust I copied him as a clone for later. Just in case.

“Heh. I know. I just felt like practicing future death lines when you get emotional inves-“ He turned to dust before he could finish. I’ll just let him hang on that for as long as I can. It will be funny I swear.

“Right. So what do we name you?”

“Name? Can I name myself?”

“Go for it, I guess. You are your own pony thing.” I wonder what she will make up.

“Fucking uhhhhhhhhh. Big Bitch!” She isn’t going to try isn’t she?

“There’s already a Big Mac, and also you’re not a dog.”

“Hmmmm. Green Hornet!” That could work, she does seem kinda toxic. Are hornets toxic or are they just actual bastards of a species?

“Eh. Hornets are yellow, no?”

“Duh, that’s why I added Green dumbass!” I feel we can do better though.

“Fuck it, you’re now Anon.”

“That’s just your name but shorter!” She points at me.

“Exactly!” She stared at me dumbfounded for a few seconds as the gears turn her head.

“That’s…good actually, shit. I am you, and you are me. FUCK!”

“If it makes you feel better you can choose your own last name so you could be different.”

“Fuck yeah. How about. Anon Namless!”

“You want to be known as Nameless?”

“Yep! So the government can’t tax me!”

“Right…I don’t think I’ve paid taxes since I got here.”

“Fuck yeah we’re off the grid.” She dances in place.

“Let’s just go home. Alright.” I light up my horn, I’ll just teleport back to the library. Way easier, a portal should be enough for the two of us.

“Wait. I just got an idea for my name.”

“Didn’t we just finish.”

“No, shut the fuck up and hear me out. Nameless Anon! Way better!”

“Yeah, that’ll do.” My horn shined through the dark and I opened a portal, the bright day time outside was intense. Almost blinded me due to how long I spent in the cave.

“Fuck man! Warm me next time!” Namless chastised me before walking through the portal herself.

“Clam down man, and maybe hold off on swearing? These ponies are way more family friendly than you.”

“Nah. I’m being me, fuck them if they don’t accept that.” She has to be so proud? I follow after her, now we are outside the library. Not much has changed while I was gone it seems. How long was I gone for?

“…I’m really close to beating a child.” I whisper.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” I quickly knock on the door.

“Coming!” I heard a Twilight’s familiar voice. A couple of hoofsteps later she opens the door to see me.

“Anonymous! Where were you! I was so worried when you suddenly, Applejack told me you just ran off without…” She slowly trailed off looking down at Nameless her eyes widened once they made eye contact.

“Sweet Celestia, Celestia was right.” She seemed to grow tears in her eyes, stepping back quickly as she held her stomach. “I SHOULDN’T HAVE THOUGHT IMPURE THOUGHTS OF A STALLION NOW IM A MOTHER.” Twilight began to scramble around the library, quickly grabbing parchment paper and trying to write something but the feather kept breaking underneath her magic.

“The fuck is her problem?” Namless looked at me.

“No idea. My guess is she grew up as a pure mare and some scare tactics to get her away from romance for a bit.”

“She look like a twenty something.”

“Twenty two actually.” I duck underneath some books flying over my head, parenting books it seems.

“And she still?…”

“Yes I think. I’ll give her a moment to get it out of her system.”

“SPIKE! PLEASE I NEED TO TAKE A LETTER! I NEED TO TELL MY BROTHER ABOUT!” I cover her mouth.

“Twilight. Let me explain before you do something drastic.” She looked at me, blushing heavily. I could feel her heavy breath on my hoof. This is a very uncomfortable position.

I wasn’t expecting this reaction. Yet, it’s quite adorable.

Author's Note

Is going OOC worth for a joke? Eh, the writers of MLP do it all the time!

Explanations and Laughter [Short]

“So you’re saying Nameless is your little sister?” Twilight has finally calmed down, though now a bit clammy. Her hair is a mess, she’s slightly sweaty, and still breathing heavily. I personally think she’s like that because of me touching her.

“Yep! I’m the best little shit you’ll ever meet!” Nameless is sitting on a high stool looking at us. Usually Spike would sit there, but he’s doing something else.

“Well her vocabulary is…” Twilight slowly turns to face me.

“Vulgar, yes I know.” I gently pat the top of Nameless’ head. “Makes her, well her.”

“Doesn’t really excuse the language.” Twilight’s ears fold back. I am such a good older brother, standing up for my new little sister.

“Bite me purple smart!”

“Eh don’t mind Twilight Nameless. We’ve got to do some bureaucrat shit to get you officially adopted.”

“By the way. Where did Nameless come from? I know she’s your sister, but she just appeared from nowhere.”

“Longsword, where else? I dipped back home to grab family.”

“But you said you didn’t have family alive.”

“I know I did. That’s why I went back recently to make sure.”

“I-Is that why you were gone for three days?!”

“Yes.” I was gone for three days without eating, or drinking water? I should be dead! How the fuck am I alive? Spite probably.

“Sweet Celestia. I thought we…never mind.”

“What’s this about having a baby already?”

“I…”

“Hey. I’m way too cute to come out from her! Besides I don’t got a horn! Makes no sense!”

“One: Rude, Nameless, Twilight is cute. Two: Yeah, unicorn and a unicorn should make another unicorn.”

“Actually…wait, you think I’m cute?…never mind! It’s more likely than you think. If a family comes from mixed tribes, such as a Unicorn Father and Pegasus Mother, there is a change they keep that change for a Pegasus DNA when the offspring is a Unicorn, and Vice Versa!” When Twilight goes into these tangents, can’t help but enjoy her speaking. What a big fucking nerd.

“Is she always a big fucking nerd?” Nameless looked at me, unamused. Twilight on the other hand deflated at being called a Fucking Nerd. She’s not going to cry, but she is hurt.

“Nameless!” I know you’re me, but have some respect!

“What? It’s true!”

“Twilight. You got soap?”

She immediately bounced back from the insult, she’s probably excited about tormenting a nine year old. I wonder if Spike went through this process. With a quick grasp of Nameless in her magic she began to carry the filly away. The filly was trying to fight it off.

“Hey! Let go! I’ll be good! Don’t do the soap! Anonymous! Hey, Dude! Help!” I won’t help Nameless. She didn’t say please.

Wait a second, what was she doing when she was having a very accurate representation of finding out you’re a mother. Wasn’t she writing a thing?

“Hey Twilight. When you were writing on that paper didn’t you send it?”

She dropped Nameless as she froze in place.

“Oh sweet Celestia…”

“I mean, she is cute, not sure why you felt the need to…wait a second…” She’s her personal student, and if she accidentally told Celestia that I…

DID I PISS OFF THE LEADER OF A COUNTRY OR NOT…

“Oh good lord.”

“I don’t know any lord…was there one in Longsword?” She spoke slowly and deliberately. We are both frozen in fear.

Celestia was finally done with a long session of day court. Her hair wasn’t flowing as smooth as it was at the time. Luna is still getting used to speaking without the Royal We, so she had to stand by her sister’s side to adjust her to modern society. Honestly she needed a small break, so she brought her favorite tea for herself and sat down.

With a poof of magic, a scroll fell upon her horn. Twilight must’ve wrote, the tales of her adventure always brought a smile to her face and eased her of stress. Was it wrong to vicariously live through her student? She doesn’t think so.

Her horn unfurled the scroll, overtime it became second nature to open Twilight’s scrolls, no matter how hastily or neatly it was put together.

Dear Princess Celestia.

HELP! I HAVE THOUGHT DIRTY THOUGHTS OF A STALLION AND THREE DAYS LATER OUR CHILD WAS DELIVERED TO MY FRONT DOOR JUST AS YOU SAID. I AM SORRY I FAILED YOU CELESTIA, I AM WILLING TO TAKE ANY PUNISHMENT YOU DEEM NECESSARY.

Your faithful student
Twilight Sparkle.

She couldn’t believe her eyes, her mouth furled into a soft smile before she bellowed a laugh to herself. She forgot about that.

You see, long ago when Twilight was in highschool, Celestia didn’t feel like dealing with any colt friends like she did with Cadance. The amount of arrogance each stallion had about dating a princess still burned into her mind. So to prevent any stallion getting close to her precious Twilight, the innocent book nerd, and to herself, it was a necessary evil to tell her a white lie about getting with a stallion.

It goes as such: If you like a stallion, don’t think about doing anything dirty with him. Or else a stork will bless you and the stallion with a child too early.

Maybe it was something along those lines.

Yet she couldn’t stop laughing, she thought after a couple years out of highschool Twilight would wisen up and see through her lie to protect her innocence. She never would’ve guessed she still held onto that thought into adulthood. She misses Twilight somewhat, she should pay Ponyville a visit again. Hopefully it won’t be ravaged by Parasprites next time.

Bureaucracy

“I feel a disturbance in the wind.”

I put down Nameless from her soap mouth punishment, leaving her at the mercy of the scientific Twilight Sparkle. Who is now determining the most effective way to clean a dirty mouth, soap or sanitizer.

Yet this is more important, I can feel it. I can taste it. This isn’t just any normal pressure. It’s a pressure I’ve never felt before. At least I don’t think I have. The magic absorption is going off the charts. I am the energy now.

Wait, this energy isn’t random. It’s controlled, a controlled random.

Oh god…

No…

It’s…

PINK

I pinched open the door to the bathroom only to find a swirl of pink rapidly fixing decorations to various pins, already placed hooks, and a cannon shooting all the extra confetti, streamers and lettered balloons. The balloons read out Welcome to Ponyville. How did she know? When did she know? WHAT IS THE POWER OF THIS HORSE?!

“Hi Nonny! You think you can keep the new pony in the bathroom just a little bit longer! I’m almost done!” Pinkie stops in place to dig out cake from her mane…and it somehow has zero hair on it. What.

“Pinkie, can you…?” She was too fast for me to track, just how energetic is this horse. I decided to continue. “Can you tell me how you’re moving so fast?”

“Easy! I had three cupcakes!”

“That’s reasonable…” What were in those cupcakes? Crack?

“Almost done Nonny!” She was still rolling around at the speed of sound. Wait that doesn’t sound correct, if she broke the sound barrier she would’ve destroyed the library. So she’s just moving very fast.

“Bleh! Twilight enough I already said—hey why is there a pink tornado in the library?” Nameless was not having a good day, she already was having her mouth washed with soap and sanitizer, so it was already full of foam. She had a hiccup and it formed a bubble from her throat. That can’t be healthy.

“Done!” Pinkie was standing in the middle of the room. Decorations of all colors of the rainbow was around, balloons were tied to the table, and the table in the center was full of sweets, with candy apples, cupcakes, and a large cake that emerged from Pinkie’s hair.

“Woah…” Nameless was oddly giddy, I m I couldn’t help but wonder something. How the fuck does she know? I know from my first day she had a ‘twitchy twitch’ somewhere, but for the life of me I can’t tell if she has some sort of magic sensing, or she can see the future!

Magic is stupid. I should stop asking questions.

“Now we wait! I sent every pony an invite!” She looked at her fore hoof, pulling away her pink fur to reveal a watch. “One…two…three…NOW!” She let’s her fur go back to normal over her hoof, and with a point towards the door. Ponies began to enter the library. When did they have time to do this?

“Nameless…” I look down at my clone, only to find she somehow vanished.

“FUCK YEAH, CUPCAKES!” nameless was already running towards the cupcakes.

“Nameless! Language!” Twilight yelled, she was wearing her goggles. I guess she was actually doing some science with Nameless.

“Ooooo~ your name is nameless?” Pinkie crouched down to the small filly. Nameless was trying to reach for a cupcake but the table was too high for her to properly reach.

“Yeah! Nameless Anon!” She was able to swipe a cupcake down getting the cake to balance on top of her head.

“Oh! Hey! It’s a small Nonny! I’ll just call you Anon-Filly! We have Nonny, and Anon-Filly!” Does…she know? I’m scared of her knowledge, but at the same time, curious.

“Yeah. Yeah. Whatever helps you.” Namless sits down and holds the cupcake, eating the sweets. Her tail was gently wagging as she filled her mouth. “Holy shit…how the fuck does this?” She was mumbling to herself, probably enamored by the food. In response, I reached a hoof over and closed her mouth. It’s rude to talk while your mouth is full.

Pinkie decided to catch up with Twilight for a little bit. Guess that leaves me to guard over Nameless. I wonder how I should get her to acclimate better. School will do, get her around kids her own age, hopefully don’t turn the child population into potty mouths, and siphon some history lessons from her. I think the local teacher is also the principal of her own school. I have zero clue on the education structure in this world, but talking to the teacher should get me started.

I think her name was Cheerily? Cheerfully? Oh, it’s Cheerilee. Man pony names are strange. I guess it’s no stranger than my own name. I walk through the crowd, if she’s not here then I can head to the school after this cool party. Oh, hey a punch bowl! I’ll do it after the party, I can think hard later.

It was a mildly successful party, caught up with Rarity, and that’s it! Man I need more friends. The cutie mark crusaders didn’t even want to talk to me either! I was their babysitter…once…god, I sound creepy. However, Nameless now has some new friends. It turns out she’s considered a ‘Tomcolt’ by some snooty bitch and hit it off with some colt named Rumble and Scootaloo. Does little Nameless attract pegasi like I attract royalty? Though, getting to know Thunderlane by proxy of Nameless was neat, he gave me a written schedule of the weather! How kind of him.

Though now, it’s me and Nameless in front of the local school. A decently large red building is before me. It’s tall, not exactly wide or very long. I didn’t have any plans for this. So I decided to knock on the front door. Why is this door one large oak door? Every other building has two sections for the doors almost like a horse’s stable. It’s best not question it right now.

I heard someone yell from the other side. “Come in!” I lit up my horn to grab the doorknob.

“Why am I here again?” Nameless jabbed my side as I was about to open the door, cutting off my magic.

“To get your dumbass learning.” I sighed as I light up my horn again.

“Why? I don’t have to go to school.”

“You need something to do during the day.”

“You don’t have a job!”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I finally get to open the door, leading Namless through no hallway. The school is a single room with thatched floor and cubbies, some desks in the center. So at least they have furniture. You know, this school feels homely, almost as if it’s made for this small town.

“Oh! You must be Anonymous and Nameless. I got Pinkie’s invite for your Welcome to Ponyville, but I had student’s papers to grade.” Cheerilee is sitting behind a desk, a large stack of parchment next to her. Of course, the overworked underpaid teacher stereotype. Does she get paid? Fuck if I know.

“Yeah. It’s alright. I’m just here to sign little Nameless here for school.” Nameless was wandering around, looking at stuff, spinning the globe, poking her head in the cubbies, sitting at the desk. Usual mindless kid stuff.

“Well, we can do that. Do you have proof of her citizenship?” Cheerilee looked at me with a sweet smile. Wait…citizenship for Nameless.

“…Fuck.”

“Okay. Why are we at the Townhall?” I’ve set up a meeting with Mayor Mare, she’s in today at least. I think most adults didn’t want to go to a child’s Welcome to Ponyville party.

“Technically, we’re both refugees. I haven’t gotten an official citizenship from Ponyville’s local government. So I have to get this for me and you.”

“Don’t you get a stipend from the queen or whatever?”

“Princess, and yeah.”

“…so why are we here?!”

“To get you into school!”

“I don’t want to go!”

“You have too! I’m 90% sure it’s illegal to hold you back from school.”

“Then look if it’s legal then let me stay home.”

“Nope.”

“Fuck you!” She held a hoof out in an attempt to give me the finger. However, HOOVES.

“Nameless, we are in public. Keep your mouth clean or I’ll let Twilight do more experiments.” I lean in to her, putting my face to her’s.

“…point taken…” at least that shut Nameless up.

I pull my head back. This was a long day. We were already sitting here for about thirty minutes.

“Mayor Mare can see you now.” The secretary’s dry and monotone voice was a little taste of salvation. I wonder if it’ll last.

“Thank you. C’mon Nameless.” I stood up, motioning Nameless to stay close, and with a nod she began to follow. With our trip to the office we were able to meet face to face with the local elected government.

“Hello.” There she is, the mayor of this town. Wonderful gray hair, tan coat, and an ascot.

“Hey. I’m here to inquire about getting local citizenship.”

“Oh that should be no problem!” She pulled out some papers from her desk, probably something to put through the system. “Just one question, since you’re not born here, where were you from?”

Better go with Twilight’s assumptions. Would make my life easier. “The County of Longsword.”

“Wait..you mean from Griffonia?”

“Yes.” What is a Griffonia?

“I…I am so sorry you had to go through that.” Her voice reeks of sorrow and depressed rage. What the hell happened in Longsword?

“It’s okay. At least I got my sister.” Just have to pretend I have hope. It’ll get my sob story through faster.

“Y-Yeah. He has me!” Nameless plays along real quick too, at least we got the whole sadness apart down. Though her acting could use work.

“Well. Unfortunately. I cannot help you.” Mayor Mare slides her papers back into a drawer from her desk.

“Wha-“

“If you want to get official citizen ship. You’ll have to go through Canterlot’s Refugee Assylum to get your citizenship”

“Why can’t you do it here?”

“We don’t have the capability of putting you as a registered citizen in Ponyville without Canterlot’s help. Due to our small population, central location, and Canterlot being our neighbor, we hardly get refugees to come here. I apologize for this incident, but I will help you as soon as I get the information from Canterlot.”

“…Fuck.”

So we’re on a train! Heading to Canterlot. God I hate it. Six hours of doing fuck all! Me and nameless are sitting next to each other, our eyes are growing tired from sitting here doing nothing. Our arms are crossed as we stare out the window.

“Hey. Why am I here?” Namless turned to face me, she looks so tired.

“I need proof you exist.”

“But…you know what never mind. Just one question.”

“Shoot.”

“If you can teleport, why can’t you just head straight to Canterlot?”

“Good question, I could, but I’ve only been there once, I need to have a decent idea of the location, and a good picture in my head before I teleport.”

“Great…” Her ears fall flat on her head as she rests her head on the side of the train.

“Don’t worry. Once we’re done there. We can teleport back home. Easy peezy.”

“Fine fine.” Namless gets tired of having her head slightly bump from the train movement and decided to rest her head on me. This is nice. Moments like these make me miss home.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR FULL?!” I had enough, I’m already wasting my day dragging Nameless around, but I’m stuck finding out that the fucking Refugee Asylum is full and already has loads of paperwork filing to do. Bullshit!

“Sir. If you could calm down. We are working as fast as we can.” The guard stationed in front of the local Canterlot Refugee Asylum, was standing there with his spear and clipboard. I guess he also doubles as a secretary. How neat.

“You know what. It’s fine. It’s okay. It’s a-ok.” Tranquil rage builds over me.

“Sir…” Why do I sense fear in his voice? Is he not used the power of relaxing?

“Dude. You okay?” Nameless jabs me in the side again, immediate relief of my stress. Huh, who knew violence could help.

“Thanks Namless. I needed that…” I exhale loudly, looking up at the sky. The moon was out. Was it that late already, to be fair a six hour train ride is quite bullshit. Wait a second, if I remember correctly Luna should have night court open, but since I am not going to deal with bureaucracy today. I’m getting this nation’s managers!

“Uh…dude I don’t like the sound of that.”

Using my magic I place Nameless on my back and sprint up the mountain. I remember the path to the castle at least. Thanks to funny man with blue eyes. A turn here, the cyan house, and a quick left here. There it is! I see the Royal Palace in sight, the drawbridge down, the guards on stand by, and there’s no line! Let’s do this!

“Dear sister. That was three petitioners who are asking for more land. Why do they think they’ll let me give them land that isn’t theirs?” Luna was there on her throne, Celestia was standing beside her. It seems Night Court is handled by Luna. I wonder why Celestia is there.

Celestia sighed, knowing the answer all too well. “Well, since you’ve returned, they think you’ll be a bit more lenient due to your thousand years of absence.”

“Oh! So they disrespect the crown! We will not have this go unpunished!” She tapped into the Royal We at the end.

I was huffing and puffing, I made it to the throne room. Nameless was holding on tight to my neck for dear life, she almost choked me on a few turns but nothing I couldn’t handle. It seems Celestia noticed me while Luna was looking directly at her.

“Luna. Look, another partition…Anonymous. It’s wonderful to see you.” Celestia nudged her sister’s side. Taking a step back to observe I assume.

“Welcome, Sir Anonymous! Pray—“ She bit her tongue, trying to stay away from her usual archaic words. “What has brought you here today?”

“Yeah. I’m here to inquire about citizenship.”

“Anonymous. I thought th—grr.” She paused yet again. “I thought you already had citizenship.”

“Well. It’s not for me this time.” Luna looked at me strangely, I thought she…wait. I turned my head to kinda see behind me, turns out little Nameless blends into my back really well when she’s holding on tight into me. That’s cute. Using my magic I pry her off.

“Yo yo! I was stuck trying to not die! Again! This stallion is mad! Arrest him princesses.” She points at me.

“Oh clam down. I just had to get here quickly.” I pat Nameless on the head. She just pouts angrily at me.

“This is Nameless Anon. My sister.”

“Oh. She is adorable Anonymous.” Luna smiles, attempting a compliment her sister does a lot.

“Thank you?” Nameless had no idea how to feel. One, she knows she’s adorable. Two, unfortunately she’s stuck trying to figure out how the fuck Luna’s works.

“Yeah. Since we are refugees. We need some special requirements to get citizenship in this country. The Refugee Asylum is full of already being processed Refugees, no idea from where, but they’re here.”

“The Refugees are from Stalliongrad, our nearby neighbor. There should only be about 100 ponies within. Once they’re processed we’ll put you and Nameless into the system.”

“Yeah. We kinda need that quickly.” Use the sob story Anonynous. “We’re from Longsword.”

That caused Luna and Celestia to freeze up. Then I felt a surge of magic course through both of them, this magic feels angry. A tranquil rage.

“It seems Longsword really has gone through with their acts, sister.” Luna turned to Celestia. I can feel the seething rage on their voice.

“It seems they have.” Celestia, a paragon of virtues and love, the smallest hint of anger scares me. It’s like seeing your mom yell at a stranger.

“Tell me, Anonymous. When did Nameless get into your grasp?” Luna, please relax. I thought my rage was scary.

“About yesterday…”

“Dusktalon…” Celestia laments. “Even to children you went through.” She leans in and whispers something into Luna’s ear.

“I apologize sir Anonymous. Me and Celestia have to close night court for the time being. We shall grant you and your sister full citizenship in the morning, please as an extension of the crown, we offer you a night in one of our spare bedchambers.” I watched them leave the throne room. I guess it’s as a good as any to head towards the bedroom.

“Bitchin’ we get to sleep in a castle.”

“Yeah…yeah.” What the fuck happened in Longsword? I need a map. I need to take a look for myself…

Author's Note

I needed an excuse to include my favorite HOIIV mod in this shit. Gives me something to do and play for further “research”

…

Before you ask, yes I am tossing nukes at the Everfree again. That forest had it coming man!

Danger Danger! [Short]

Longsword, a country in Griffonia. Located at the edge of the Hertzland, once a band of knights joined together by King Gover II, now stand as an independent nation. They are closely tied with Hellquil. I know nothing of the two, but it seems like something was going on. The Riverlands are their closest neighbors door, holding ponies as their primary race.

I don’t need to update my story at least. I can still say I’m from Longsword and my mishap of appearing here is due to a panic teleportation spell. It’s also why I studied teleportation first when I came to Ponyville. Glad these things worked out. Coincidental things are the best.

I put down the book I was reading. Leaving the Royal Archives, I had to sneak in, they probably wouldn’t let an outsider like me walk in and take whatever I want.

Yet, this doesn’t please me, I need more. I need to know exactly what happened, and the only way to know. Is to go there myself. It’s risky, but I need to know.

I quickly hide myself into my chambers. Nameless is sleeping soundly, that’s good. Leaves more for me to explain without a clearly traumatized child. I can explain with their dirty mouth as a coping mechanism if the things in Longsword are too dirty.

I light up my horn, remembering the one picture of Longsword. The scenery, the house, the griffins. With that I open a portal to…somewhere. I’m lost, I can’t see what the other side is about. Perhaps I can’t open it due to the distance between me and Longsword, considering it’s on an entire different continent I’m willing to believe it.

I looked through, scanning left and right. Nothing out of the ordinary. I should pull my head away before I am spotted, however something wrapped around my neck. “Oh no.” I knew this device, it’s a one of the catchers for stray dogs, I don’t know the name of it, but I tried to pull my neck away. Only for me to be pulled down and onto the dirt, falling down onto my back.

“Ha! Boys we found another one!” A griffon was standing over me. At least I assume he is one. Brown plumage, with a black cat body, and bird claws. Yep, a griffin. Great. He’s also wearing a very militaristic uniform, complete with badges and way too many pockets. No body armor though, which is strange. They’re most likely scouts delivering orders.

“These fucking ponies. Did this unicorn think he could just…” I could see another Griffin walk into my view. Darker plumage…great. I’m now a prisoner of war.

“Get the spear. We have to kill every one of these horses on sight. Remember?” The darker plumage griffin was still speaking, my portal was still open at least.

“Hey. This fucking pony has a portal opened to a safe house!” The griffin holding me down with this device around my neck turned. Now was my chance. I used my horn to shoot a beam right at the back of his head. Nothing too bad, just a stun beam. Killing is very unethical right now, I don’t need blood on my hands right now.

“Hey! You bastard!” The other one rushed towards a knife hidden in his feathers, but I just also shot him with the paralysis beam.

“Disappointing, but what can I get from normal soldiers anyway?” I pull the device off of my neck and stand back up. So this is Longsword, the hills are a darker green, there’s snow on the ground even though it’s supposed to be winter, and there’s a burning village in the distance. Nothing too suspicious.

Wait, a burning village? I don’t know what to do, if I investigate I might get captured or killed, if I don’t I’m going to have to keep a facade of whatever is happening here. Actually…I have an idea, I wonder if these soldier boys have any Intel.

I decided to go through their limp bodies, paralyzed bodies are strange. They’re warm and firm, like a sleeping body, but they can see and kinda speak.

“You’ll never get away with this Unicorn.” The griffin I was frisking was struggling to speak. I think he was trying to move. He had nothing of note on him, just a uniform, a couple of daggers, and a stick of dynamite. They have dynamite here, that’s neat. They’re probably chucking it like grenades. I wonder when they’ll figure that out. He started speaking in German at me, I have zero clue what he’s saying.

“Shut up.” I went over to the other guy, the other one doesn’t seem to be taking the whole paralysis thing well. He’s struggling a lot, his muscles are tense and kept trying to push through.

“You fucking pony! You don’t know what you’re doing! You should be at my claws groveling like the mud horse you are!” Throw more slurs why don’t you? My hooves now started to frisk him, I found something interesting. Pulling out a piece of paper from one of his coat pockets. Only to see its in German, and in some sort of coded language. I can’t read this. I could give it to the guards back at Canterlot as proof of my involvement in Longsword. As long as I can keep a story. From what I’ve heard from this loudmouth. They’re trying to kill ponies. Now does that mean they’re at war, or are they going on a full blown genocide? I may never know.

I look at the portal back to Canterlot. It won’t stay open forever. So I have a choice to make. I was never good at this sort of deal. Should probably kill these guys, I’m sure they won’t be missed.

Author's Note

Not a basement chapter, but a choice. I got two ideas for this story. Investigate Longsword, or pretend to be a victim. Whatever is funnier I’ll decide.

Sadly, EQ at War isn’t very funny. It’s hilarious!

Taking no chances.

I have to get out of here. I don’t think staying in Longsword will be very beneficial. I don’t have a power source nearby to draw from, Celestia and Luna aren’t going to be stepping over to Longsword considering it’s placement on the map. They already have one foot on the door with New Manehatten, they don’t need to be smack dab in the middle. If they push themselves right into this spot, Griffonia will most likely take offense, and the River ponies won’t exactly like big sister breathing down their necks either.

So I’m getting the fuck out. I look at the two bird gentleman before me, they’re still struggling with their paralysis. “Eh. You’ll be fine.”

“Fuck you!” He started yelling in German again. Probably saying a ton of slurs my way. Okay dude, we get it you’re bilingual. Shut up. I give him a good kick on the beak for good measure. I heard something crack, how fortunate for him, he has something to remember me by. That reminds me, while I’m in Canterlot I should get Twilight, and Spike some doughnuts.

With my portal still opened I turned around and went through, kicking some dirt behind me on the griffon’s face. He deserved that. With myself back in the room, I check outside. Still within the night hours, good. I can get at most four hours of sleep. Hopefully the princesses won’t ask what I’ve been up to, but how do I give them this note from the griffins? It’s hopefully solid proof of their involvement with the whole kill all ponies on sight thing. Is it war plans? Orders? A random poem from a lover? I’ll need someone who can read German to do that for me. I can write it off as something I took when I was saving Nameless.

Is this even called German in this world? I’ll give a minor guess and call it Gryphon language for now. Unless someone has a really funny pun they’ll tell me relatively soon.

When I close the portal behind me, that strong sense of love magic is live again. I felt it once before, now I’m feeling it again. How am I absorbing this much love magic? I don’t even know any charm spells! Unless I can shoot it as a laser beam, then fuck yeah love magic. For now, I just see pointless magic I can’t use, but hey, it’s there.

I just sit there waiting for the eventual sudden rise of love magic to happen before I sleep. So, sitting there I think about what to bring from Canterlot. I wonder if they got some book stores around, I do need some sort of magic book to study while I can. The whole griffon duo reminded me that my life can be taken away if I don’t put action into my life.

I wonder what I should study…I should ask Twilight, she’s a massive nerd she can probably help me with my studies. It’ll actually make me go through a book way faster if she’s also familiar with the magic we are studying. Damn, I’m actually looking forward to that, it will actually be nice to hang out with Twilight.

Wait, that source of love magic stopped all of a sudden. Hearing loud clip clop noises outside my door. Oh no, is she.

“I feel a love problem!” With a powerful kick the the door slammed open, causing my body to jump as a very sweaty pink alicorn was staring at me, panting and smelling really strong. Nameless was surprisingly still asleep, inherit my heavy sleeping why don’t you?

“Can I help you?…”

“No! I can help you!” She was okay? I think I can smell fish, do Pegasi eat fish or was that just her?

“Oookay? Can we take this outside? There’s a filly sleeping here.”

“Oh. Right sorry.” She immediately quieted down. I guess she might be good around fillies. She slowly stepped back from the room, I followed after her and closed the door behind me.

“Who are you anyway? I can recognize the other two Alicorns I know, but not you.” She is definitely royalty with the whole wings and horn thing.

“Oh. I’m Princess Cadance. Princess of Love.” She is a mess right now, messy hair, kinda sweaty, baggy eyes. To be fair I guess she doesn’t really care if no aristocrats are here. Plus she seems young, absurdly young compared to Luna and Celestia. Early thirties or late twenties. So she has some wiggle room to cut loose.

“Oh. Love magic. We got the sun, moon, and love. You’d think there’d be a planet princess with the space gimmick that was happening until now.”

“Haha, yeah, but love is important too. Like the sun and moon, love makes the world go round.”

“Fair.” Wait I thought this planet was stationary, unless that’s a saying about the cycle of life…I’ll file that under strange circumstances.

“So, if you were wondering, my job is usually to manage foreign relations, but I dabble in a couple of relationship advice here and there. So, lay it on me, I can feel you’re in love with some pony, and you’re not sure how to approach.”

“…Isn’t it a bit late for that?” I take a look around, there’s no windows. Probably because this is a hallway for rooms.

“It’s never too late to recognize your feelings.” She is excitable, reminds me of Twilight. “Like right there! I felt it right there.” She suddenly puts her hoof to my chest, stopping my train of thought.

“I…uh…don’t know what you mean.” She’s scaring me slightly, is her obsession with love how she became a princess of love?

“So tell me. I need to know so I can help you!”

I need to get out of here, if anything I’d rather confess my feelings towards Twilight myself. I ain’t taking any chances on love advice, I’m going to be me.

“I…I think I can do it myself. I thank you for your support in my endeavor, however I believe what I’m doing will secure my spot in that pony’s heart.”

“Yeah. But love is fleeting, it’s not like you can generate love on a whim.”

“…” I’m going to be mean. Fuck the consequences. “You mean like the ones you generate all the time?”

“I mean. My love is different. It’s not like-“

“No, I mean the ones you generate in your room.”

“Wait..no…I thought no one can…sweet Celestia have you been watching?!” She is suddenly angry at me, and now I’m stuck cowering before a very angry women. Note to self, don’t poke the lion.

“What?! No! I absorb magic passively, and every time I’m in this castle, I feel a sudden urge of love magic from you!” Is it good to yell back when a women is yelling at you? No, does it feel cathartic? Also no, I’m chalking this up to bad decisions volume 48: Equestrian edition.

“But…” Her face turned red, I swear I could see some tears from her eyes. I guess she’s really mad and embarrassed at the same time. There’s a word for this I think…

She takes a deep breath and huffs my direction. “Fine. But mark my words, you will need my help with your love life!” She marches away back to her bedroom. Crisis averted!

Yet, I don’t feel very accomplished, just very hollow after making someone almost cry. This isn’t a good feeling.

“…stagnant air is a common sign of foreshadowing.” I’ll definitely be seeing Cadance again, hopefully I can make amends. Women are difficult.

A Family Trend

‘I still can’t read German. So, I’ll just hand this stuff over to the guard and get out.’

Is what I thought what would happen, now I’m standing in front of the Captain of the Guard, and some auxiliary in a room, an office I assume. The picture of the mare from last night was on his desk, I envy this man slightly. Nameless got to opt out of this whole thing, something about how they don’t want to reawaken traumatizing thoughts in a young filly.

You know, being interrogated might be a trend at this point. If this happens a third time I’m just going to shoot the person interrogating me, probably with the paralysis beam. It would be funny I assure you!

“So…” I slowly mutter, trying to find the appropriate words to articulate myself. “Why am I here again?”

“You are here because the princesses believe you have some information about Longsword’s wrong doings, I’m here to ask nicely.” I can recognize him, he’s the guy who helped me to the castle when I first came here. What was his name again? Ah, well, I didn’t get it. He continues, “Hank here will be writing down what you say so we have a record of this meeting.” He gestures to the white Pegasus behind him. This feels…familiar. Haven’t I done this already?

How did this happen?

[About 30 Minutes Ago…]

Waking up in this castle is actually quite nice when a chaos god isn’t making a mess. Plus, I’m not spending all my time studying like last time, I can relax, recoup myself.

“Hey! Dude? Where the fuck can we get food?” Nameless boops me on the nose. This little shit! How dare she!

“I have zero clue, maybe there’s a lunch area somewhere, fuck if I know.” Rolling off the bed and I land on my back. Not the smartest decision to wake up, but I’m up. Scrambling to get my footing I felt something hop on my now slightly aching back. Her small forelegs wrap around my neck. Her hind legs kick me on the side. D-did she…and I’m automatically walking forward. How the fuck.

“Well, then get going! I’m not the child who’s brought to a capital for some fucking license.” Nameless really has that potty mouth still. Twilight isn’t here so I guess she’s really gung-ho about the whole swearing thing.

“Yeah. Yeah. Don’t treat me like an actual horse.” I light up my horn and open the door, taking the intel from the scouts yesterday. I should give this to the guards while I’m eating. Should’ve given this to Cadence yesterday, but I kinda made her almost cry from being embarrassed. I should apologize when I see her again. Nameless was stuffing her face into my neck, I seem to have a trend of carrying fillies. The couple of the maid staff look at me while I’m carrying Nameless. I can’t tell if they’re into a guy who’s good with kids or like the little bastard of a filly on my back. No matter, even if these maids are adorable and cute, I have my eyes set on someone else! Some pony else, there we go.

I turn my head to look out for any kitchen, dining room, or anything for a moment before bumping into someone. It was odd, I felt like I bumped into someone with muscle but no actual power behind it. I pause to recuperate myself only to find someone else on the ground. A large white stallion with blonde hair, who is wearing almost a tux around his next. “You savage!” He chastises me. Oh boy it’s a noble. I can tell by his voice it oozes of pampered lifestyle.

“I’m sorry?” I step back, Nameless looks over my shoulder, eying up the poor sap.

“Sorry does not suffice for ruining my freshly tidied up hair!” His hair looked the same as he jabs into my chest. I felt his hoof press against my chest, again it’s so weird, I can feel the muscle in his hoof, but no power. Hell, the little magic I’m getting from him seems unused, he has a large excess of magic that’s pouring out from his body. Is he a tempered mage? Can he control his strength on a whim? Best not to anger the hidden potential yet, I am not accustomed to fighting in this body.

“You hair looks the same as always, sir.” A very VERY tired maid was already on brushing his hair with one of her wings. The bags under this maid’s eyes felt a little sad.

“That’s because you’re the only servant capable of getting my hair correct.” He responds to her, before putting his hoof down from my chest. “But that’s a matter resolved, now we have the perpetrator before me.” Now that I have a look at him, his eye whites are also slightly blue. Does that mean he and that other blue eyed guy are related? It would make sense, blue and yellow. I just need a red guy to come up to complete the set.

“Uh huh…” I just stare at him, I don’t feel entitled to give him a proper response, or anything really. Though I feel a tighter force around my neck. god damnit Nameless don’t ruin this.

“Who’s this fuckin dweeb?” Nameless, sometimes I should wash your mouth with bleach, but then you’d be dead.

“Excuse me!?” This dude’s voice was even more offended now, probably even more so with a child calling him that. “Don’t you recognize my presence, child! They teach me in the very same school you go too! I am Prince Blueblood!” Oh that’s his name…oh shit he’s actually a Prince not a Noble. God damnit Nameless!

“Jesus dude, calm down. Don’t need to yell,” can hear Nameless yawn on my back, “it’s too early for that.”

“Too early?! Too EARLY?!” I step back, he’s getting way too close for comfort. I’m not letting him close to Nameless. “Filly! You should be in school at this hour! I shall inform your parent to watch your mouth.” He clears his throat before facing me. “Ahem. Dear Peasant, would you please discipline your daughter?” What…is he negotiating with me. Is he Bipolar?

“I was already planning on it. She’s having a real foul mouth. Don’t worry, when I get home she’s getting much more than soap in her mouth.”

“Pleasant, now. Get out of my sight before I inform my aunties about your presence, chop chop.” He slams his hoof down into the ground twice. At least he’s inviting me to piss off, how courteous. So I just nod and walk away. That was…interesting.

“Dude. Did you say that to get him off your dick or are you gonna actually?” Ah, Nameless even after the threat of punishment you still keep going.

“Shove a bar down your throat instead of washing your tounge? Yes.” I take a left, this castle is so confusing. Where am I? The maids walking around have now shifted to being guards. I must have left the living spaces. I can ask one of them for directions maybe.

“Gross. I already had enough with fucking Twilight cleaning my mouth. I don’t need you!”

“As long as you learn you lesson eventually, no matter how many times you are punished.”

“Bitch, you’re trying to condition me!” She kicks her hind legs again into my sides, causing me to slowly trot instead of walk. Again, what.

“Correct.” This is getting annoying, I need to find food. When was the last time I ate anything? I really need to stop going on these long binges of not eating.

In case you were wondering how the fuck I’m alive after no food or water for days. My passive magic absorption artificially lengthens my life for me. I haven’t reached an old age yet, so I don’t have any data on that. How long was my longest life anyway? It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten. I don’t know if Nameless has gotten the passive magic absorption that I do, but I haven’t felt anything being drained from me, nor do I feel anything from her. Does she even have magic?

I kept wandering around, eventually I found myself surrounded by more guards. I’ve definitely reached somewhere. My ears twitch as I hear a voice from somewhere. A familiar voice.

“Okay. So Luna wants me to talk to Anonymous. Is that his actual name or does he want to keep himself hidden from Longsword?” I saw a large pony in exalted purple and gold armor walk out from what I can only assume is his office. I mean, I can see a desk with a picture of the pink alicorn from last night. Then the door closed before I can properly get a good look at the inside.

“His name is Anonymous. According to Ponyville’s Guard, his full name is Anonymous Incognito.” He’s followed by a white pegasus stallion, in just a standard gold armor, like the guy in Ponyville.

“That’s a…name. Parents want to be off the grid or something.” His head tilted once he locked the door to his office.

“Most likely, can never be too sure with foreigners, especially Riverlanders.”

The big guy flinched at the charged comment “Hank. He’s a pony like the rest of us, don’t bring your Riverlands hate into the office. Okay soldier?”

“Okay Captain.” Hank didn’t seem to put that much energy into his word.

“That’s an order, Hank.” The big guy’s voice went deeper, I guess even a kind soul like him needs to discipline idiots.

“Yes sir!” He had to reply with forced gusto. It feels like boot camp all over again.

“Good! Now let’s find this Anonynous and…” He paused once he turned to face me. Nameless peaked over at him and looked between us.

“You two should kiss.” She snarked really quickly.

“I have a fiancé.”
“I kinda do.”

Well this is awkward, we stare back at each other. I mean, I would. This guy reminds me a lot of Big Mac back in Ponyville. Big, strong, a kind face instead of a gentle one. Plus the muscles! God damn, if I was…

I should really stop having these thoughts about these guys. I’m trying to get with book nerd! Oh well, won’t stop me from admiring from a distance. Hehe.

“What?”
“Damn.”

Big guy shakes his head from the situation. “Sir, you are Anonymous correct?” Oh, I can mess with him. I still ain’t gonna respect the police!

“Are you asking for my name or…”

“Yes.” There’s my answer. I guess he’s quick with his tongue as well. Dirty thoughts, not right now.

“Well, I am Anonymous. What about you?” Can’t keep referring him as big guy forever.

“I am Captain Shining Armor.” Ooo, like a knight in shining armor, oh save me sir! From you! God I might be bisexual. Never too late to find yourself eventually.

“Neat. So, what’s this about finding me?”

“The Princesses have informed me that you have some information on Longsword and we’d like to talk to you about it. You are the first pony to escape from Longsword and we’d like to talk about your experience.” Seems, reasonable. Though I wish I’d stayed a little bit longer in Longsword. Luckily I have a fuck ton of trauma I can pull from to get a story that’ll helpfully meld together. Haha… I am in trouble. I need to pick my words carefully.

Then I slid them a note that was in German, now I’m here. Great! Time to do this!

“Okay. Okay.” I take a deep breath, so this guy is getting engaged to the princess. I guess the whole knight in Shining Armor is for her. Still, who am I jealous of? Him or her? Both maybe.

“Nervous? I know it might be hard to think about Longsword, but we’ve got some tea heading your way. Helps relax your body, my sister sent me the recipe from where she lives.” Shining had his helmet removed, letting me see his face clearly without obstructions from his armor. At least he’s the kindest interrogator I’ve dealt with.

“How kind of her.” While I’m not nervous about trauma, I’m more nervous on trying to wave a narrative that’ll benefit me, because I don’t know what they’re looking for. Are they looking for acts of war crimes from nations at war, a mass exile of ponies from a country, or, worst case scenario, evidence of genocide? I’ll just start broad then head towards specifics once I know what they’re looking for. Mix truth with my past lives. It should be golden.

“So. How did you first come to Equestria?” Okay, general first.

“I teleported here, not on purpose mind you, I just felt a need to leave Longsword.” My ears twitch as the sound of Hank writing. So everything will be logged, okay, more reason to keep my tongue held.

“Why did you feel a need to leave Longsword in a manner of teleportation.”

“Fear mostly, I didn’t know what was going to go down, so I just left. Didn’t specify where to go, I didn’t study up on teleportation well enough to actually get a decent location. I was hoping to land in Wittenland for studying, but I guess Equestria is a good alternative.” Thank god I studied up on Longsword before hand, otherwise I wouldn’t be surviving.

“That’s fair enough. According to the guards in Ponyville, you were a bum for a couple of days. Care to explain why?”

“No money.”

“That’s it?” His face dropped, I guess he wasn’t expecting a straightforward answer.

“I didn’t know if I had to pay a fee to rent a book on teleportation, or if there even was a bookstore for me to get one. I just know I needed food to not die. I’m a fan of not starving.”

“Fair enough. I guess the Riverlands and Longsword have different library rules.” He exhales a moment before a maid entered the door, placing two teacups before us. The smell seems familiar…Twilight’s tea? I never had it on account on not wanting to drink leaf juice. It’s probably a coincidence.

“Thanks.” I told the maid, she simply nodded and smiled sweetly at me. I wonder where they took Nameless to. No, don’t let your mind wander Anonymous, you have a story to weave.

“Continuing.” He lifts the teacup in his magic and blows gently. The smell is definitely relaxing…shit he’s using smart interrogation tactics to get me to relax even if I don’t drink the tea! Smart man, but I caught on! “Records state you were there for multiple weeks in Ponyville before dissapearing for three days. We can confirm you were there due to the stipends you collected, which are sent to ponies unable to find jobs due to their cutie mark, sent via mail. Care to explain what took you a moment to get to Longsword to collect your sister?”

Shit…I don’t actually have a foolproof shield for this. I’m gonna have to do some bullshit. I take a sip of the tea to gain an extra few seconds to think. “I was trying to perfect the teleportation spell. I know I teleported here on accident, but I didn’t want to be left in the middle of nowhere with no way to return back to Equestria. I know the Reformisten takes a couple of days for their officials to get their act together. So I had some time to bide.” A lie I can reasonably back up is better than a complete one. Longsword’s government is a military state, so they must have power struggles within. The military government isn’t always the best choice when it comes to ruling.

“Of course.” He believes me or does he not? It’s hard to tell from the tone of his voice. I think the relaxing nature of the tea is getting to him. “Man. My sister knows how to get a good tea going.”

“Yeah. What’s funny is that the librarian back in Ponyville drinks the same tea.”

“Haha. Yeah, that would be…wait.” He sets down his tea cup, suddenly he’s serious. “Hank, could you ignore these next few lines?”

“Of course captain!” Hank was still going to write it down. It would be really funny to see him get protective over his sister, again.

“Good. Good. If I know my sister, she only shared this tea with her closest friends. So, what’s your relation to Twilight Sparkle?” He is leaning in close to the table now, his upper body was now being supported by his forelegs. They were bent to look like elbows resting on the table.

Twilght got mentioned, is that his sister or? I don’t see the similarities, Twilight is a light purple while he’s white and a loud blue, so I’ll just answer honestly.

“Oh, her? I live with her.” Why does it feel like I watched this man’s soul shatter? He stopped doing emotions now.

“My little sister…finally has…” He muttering now, why does it feel I’m being cursed? I’ll…I’ll just get back to Longsword before I get stabbed.

“So is this still about Longsword or…?”

“Oh! Right.” He was still out of it, I’m going to chalk it up to the tea and not his sister…is his sister Twilight? If so, then fuck I’m running into a protective brother, luckily not overprotective.

“So, I go back to writing captain?” Hank was clearly amused by the display, but disappointed to not see any overreaction. He remembers when Flash Sentry was forced to mop the bathroom floors for a month for mentioning hitting on his sister. He thought that guy probably didn’t deserve it. With another thought he eventually went to the conclusion that he did deserve it, Flash is a chick magnet.

“Yes. Please.” Shining brought himself back together with a long sip of tea, seeing the empty tea cup down on the desk. “Can you tell me how you got your little sister?”

Okay, good question. I can’t tell him about the fact that she’s a clone, I already have the story of Nameless being my sister, but I have to tell him something believable.

“When I felt an premonition of something bad happening to my family, I just acted on my own. Running out of the house and teleporting straight too Longsword. Only to find burning villages…” I paused for dramatic effect, and also to get myself into story mode. I did see a burning village, I have zero memory of any names of locations in Longsword, so it’s best to hope for no geography questions. “At first, I had to search for my little sister. It was difficult, considering that the griffons had an agenda. I heard them say, ‘Kill every pony on sight’.” That last sentence caused them to freeze. My trip to Longsword was fruitful.

“So it’s true then. Longsword really was on a path to genocide.” Shining Armor’s voice dropped to one of sorrow. It feels he has sympathy for me. I can’t help but match the tone shift. Nothing can be peaceful, even here. Genocide is something I can work with. Plenty of memories of people I’ve seen get murdered in a blind rage. I just hope they’re enough to fill the gaps. “I’m sorry you had to go through that Anonymous, but please, any more information would be useful.” In the end, I have to keep going.

“It’s quite alright, I’ve learned to live with it.”

“That’s not quite healthy, you know?”

“…I know. Still, I don’t know much about it, other than having to run with my sister on my back. I didn’t exactly have enough magic to teleport me back as soon as I found her.” Bullshit the three days absence. I don’t need to talk about bloodshed.

“Where did you find her?” Fuck, think. The shape of Longsword is mostly hilly, so maybe this can work.

“Would you be surprised if I told you I found her in a cave?” Slight truths, you can work with. Keep pushing.

“No. I don’t think I would. Longsword is known for their scenic caves.”

Plot convenient, but if this is a trap I won’t oblige that comment.

“Perhaps, but I just found her in a cave. Sure I had to stop a few guys, but that was about it. On one of their bodies I found a note. I don’t read their language, but even I know a coded message when I see one.”

“Griffon Deutsch isn’t a language that many ponies know, even in the Riverlands.” So that’s what they call German in this world. Good to know. “I think.” He looks over at Hank, patiently waiting for any confirmation that he’s gotten everything down. With a nod from Hank shining stood up. “Thank you for this. The information you provided will save many more ponies from Longsword. While Equestria cannot intervene, Celestia is on her way to the Riverlands to give them support for the Longsword refugees.”

Well that’s handy, I’m just glad he didn’t ask for specifics. They just know roughly three days ago, Longsword began to purge their pony population, and they’re burning villages and some refugees hide in caves. I should get out of here and get that citizenship for Nameless.

Also, what do I even respond to Shining with? I’ll just nod and stand up as well. Finish the tea as well. If anyone asks me for specifics about Longsword, I’ll just tell them it’s too traumatic for me to even speak of again. Should keep them off my ass.

“Hank. Send the report to Luna.” Shining flicks his head towards Hank, his horn lit up to put his helmet back on. A shame.

“Isn’t she asleep right now?” Hank rolls up the parchment into a scroll and sealed it with some sort of small silk cloth.

“Yes. She will need the report first thing when she wakes up.”

Hank contemplates complaining, but decided it was better to do nothing all day then be forced to do something else. “By your orders Captain.”

Shining simply nods as he opens the door out of his office. “If you need anything while you’re here Anonymous, simply ask.”

“Yeah. Just two, where is my sister and also where is her citizenship certificate?” Gotta get that out of the way while I’m here. I need to go back home.

“Oh. Your sister was probably brought to the cafeteria and Raven Inkwell should be bringing your certificate when you meet up with your sister.” I was about to nod before Shining put a hoof to my shoulder. “One older brother to another. I respect a stallion who goes and protects his family.” I feel a newfound respect emanating from him. You know, maybe he isn’t so bad.

“Thank you sir.” I lift up a hoof. “Pound it?” Please do it.

“Of course!” We both reel back our hooves and slam hooves together. Hell yeah! New Bro acquired.

“I’ll shall send a guard to escort you to the cafeteria. Then you’ll be able to get your sister.”

“Thanks man.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

I turn around and leave Shining’s office. So that’s definitely Twilight’s brother. Small world…

Twilight hasn’t seen me in a day. She’s probably doing nothing important.

Twilight in her friends was trying to show Rainbow Dash a lesion in humility as the heroic Mare-Do-Well! There was a mixed reception by the civilians of Equestria. Not their greatest moment.

Yeah, nothing important at all.

I loiter around for a couple of moments before a guard comes my way and escorts me to the cafeteria. It seems to be made for the staff of the building rather than the princesses. It’s probably best that way. I’m starving so, might as well.

I take a gander around, and find Nameless stuffing herself full of sweets, Apple fritters, cakes, and even some chocolate. How is she fitting all of this. I walk over to her table and see a chef smiling at this.

“Hey. You feeding her the cakes?”

“Oh zes sir! With Zelestia gone, we needed za cakes to be conzumed!” I can’t determine this guy’s accent. French maybe? Gross.

“Fair enough.”

With that, me and Nameless practically started eating our body weights in cake. It’s not a healthy breakfast, but after multiple days of no food. I’m satisfied.

“Oh come on! More waiting!? We were just about to leave.”

“Nameless, Raven is going to be here soon and once we get your papers we can go home.” Me and Nameless were sitting around in some sort of reception area. I can assume this is for ponies who want a private talk with a Princess.

“But I don’t want to go to school!” She kicks my sides again, it took all of my willpower to not start walking, only for my forelegs to kick the air. God damnit.

With the door suddenly opening I jumped in place, stopping my body’s automatic movement. With a pan over to her, I see she is familiar…wait a second. I imagine her in that devil costume I saw in Ponyville. Yep, same mare.

I should hit her with a shitty pick up line.

“Did it hurt when you fell down?” I leaned in, trying to add something to my voice to increase seduction.

“Yes actually. You’re the first one to notice I fell down the stairs today. I’ve been walking with a slight limp but no pony noticed.” She seemed to be more appreciative of my words than actually seduced.

“Oh. Right.” I can’t tell, her fur is probably covering up her bruises! Now this is awkward.

“Here’s the papers for Nameless Anon. Thank you for your patience.” She slid a folder near me using her magic. I transferred to my own telekenesis, it was weird being handed something like that, but I’ll get used to it. She smiled and turned to leave. Simply because with Celestia absent she can take a relaxing day today.

“Right…”

We’ll meet again, I’m sure. Just need a better shitty pick up line.

“Why did you try flirting with her?” Nameless spoke directly into my ear, painful.

“It’s a joke.”

“Weirdo.”

“Listen man, I can definelty be her angle.”

“You mean angel?”

“I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thank you.

Author's Note

Longest Chapter I put out. I want to continue this trend of longer chapters for the foreseeable future.

Basement Shorts will now be reserved for my mindless ideas of fluff!

Fluff and Story! A perfectly balanced novel for fanfiction. Something like that.

It’s good to be back!

Luna sips on coffee, with Celestia gone to the Riverlands she had to overtake the duties during the day. Thank goodness Coffee was invented while she was on the moon, other wise she wouldn’t even be slightly awake. However, her duties right now as to review the interview with Anonymous with Shining Armor.

“The tea enchantment, did it work?” Luna asked, the tea was spiked with a minor truth enchantment during it’s brewing process.

“Yes. It worked well enough. He isn’t lying. At least for the most part. A few points where he lied was finding his sister in a cave, and staying out of trouble for visit in Longsword. Which is fair if he got the note.” Shining armor has been highlighting some parts on the log. Trying to match his sister and father, he color coded them. Truth is in green, red is lies, and yellow is the mixed group. He’s slightly proud of where he has got it.

“Wonderful, it’s a shame we had to spike the tea. Otherwise the other nations wouldn’t rely on our information. I trust Anonymous’ word. However, I fear the Riverlands won’t trust his.”

“That is a fair assessment, Riverlands hasn’t looked kindly upon Equestria for a while. The new government with River Swirl should get the balance of harmony back over there.” Shining curled up the log and let Luna handle it. With a burst of magic she sent the letter to Celestia, the roll of parchment turning into a mist of pure magic. An invisible wind pushed the magic outside the window, heading to Celestia.

“We shall see. Normally, Equestria isn’t this aggressive with interventionism, but we may need to put our hoof down, for the sake of ponies.”

“We’ve also got the note from Anonymous translated.” Shining armor placed down the note and the translated copy. “It took my guys a couple of hours, but we do have it.”

Luna takes the translated copy, reading upon the neatly folded paper. “Hm…I hope Tia knows what she’s doing. Otherwise, many more lives will be lost.”

“I hope so too…” Shining stood up, his work here was done. He has a date with Cadance after work and he’s not planning on missing it.

“Anonymous. Forgive me, I may need to check your memories.” Luna lamented as she watched Shining leave, such a good stallion to her niece.

My horn was lighting strong and true, trying to open a portal again was difficult. It was easy with Celestia within reach, but now that she isn’t here and I just have Luna somewhere in the castle, I need to build up strength for a few moments.

“Cmon! What’s taking so long!?” Nameless was on my back, waiting for me to open the way home. We also stopped by Doughnut Joe’s and picked up a couple of doughnuts, they also offered Amber incrusted doughnuts for dragons, so I took some for Spike. Dragons are possible here? I guess so.

“Not my fault! Just a little more!” My horn began to crackle and sparks flew across my horn. It’s been a while since I had some volatile sparks, but I can control this!

“Hurry up! Or else I’ll eat one these rock doughnuts!” Nameless was holding onto the bag for me, why need saddle bags when can have little sister?

“You can’t even eat rocks!” With a few more sparks I open a portal to the library, specifically my room. Well, mine and Nameless’ room for the time being. Haven’t gotten sorted on her own private room, but I don’t trust her with one yet.

“You don’t know me!” She yells at me, kicking me and…god damnit! Why does this reflex exist for horses!? Or is it just me? Fuck…

With my automatic saunter into the bedroom, I close the portal behind me, a small fraction of the magic spent opening the portal went back to me. It’s nice, I won’t be suffering from no mana any time soon. That reminds me, I always hear about magic but nothing about mana in this world, it’s possible they think magic is like a muscle that needs too he trained. Yet, I’ve always seen it as a resource that can be gained, differences in philosophy I say.

“Fine. We’re home. You can eat in the kitchen. I’m not risking a messy eater in my room…which is now our room for now.” Right…haven’t set up a room for Nameless in Twilight’s place, I’ll have her sleep in here and I can sleep on the couch. It should be comfortable enough.

“Ew, Commie.” Somewhere, someone—rather some pony sneezed.

“Huh. Radicalism, I can get behind that.” No I can’t. Too lazy for politics. Just trying to live. End up involved in politics anyway. Life sucks.

Setting down Nameless we head out of our room and see Spike in a pink apron, it looks okay on him. I guess if they were to find an apron in his size it would be a filly’s apron, a colt won’t be caught dead wearing that. His hands were occupied with moving books around and dusting, he’s doing his chores at least.

He did eventually notice us, his mouth smiling as he sees the two of us. “Oh! Hey guys! When did you get back?”

“Took a portal here, it’s rather easy to open them with enough time.”

“Huh. Neat!” His nose began to twitch, hearing a big sniff from the young dragon his body began to float in the air for a moment, before he realizes what he was doing and sets himself down. “Did you get Doughnut Joe’s?” It’s hard to hide your enthusiasm Spike, especially with food.

“Yep! Got you some of these amber caramel doughnuts.”

I took the bag from Nameless’s mouth, prompting a “Hey” from her, no matter I did dig out the two Doughnuts for him.

“Eat them now if you want, I am not Twilight after all.” I give him a wink, hoping he just eats the food. I’m sure Twilight will allow Spike to eat these doughnuts anyway, but she’s really stingy on doing our chores. She’s like a very sweet, but also aggressive mother. Scares me.

“Thanks!” He takes off with the Doughnuts. I follow Spike into the kitchen and set the bag on the counter. I wonder why they haven’t invented doughnut boxes yet, maybe because it’s hard to balance a box by yourself if you’re not a unicorn or a pegasus. Yeah that’ll work.

“So. What’s been happening? I haven’t seen…” I felt some claws land on my back. I know Nameless isn’t a bird or a griffon so who is it? With a turn to my head, I found an owl with a very interesting bow tie. “Hello, who are you?”

“Hooo.” I should’ve seen that coming, I’m talking to an owl.

“Right. Forgot.” It’s an owl, I’m not going to fall for the Who joke train.

“Ah don’t worry, it gets me too.” Spike was talking with his mouth full, chunks of amber fell from his teeth. Gross.

“I’ll just…” I’ll just use the last of my magic to cast Speak to Animals. Just a quick shot of something. “Alright, this should work who are you?”

“As I said good sir, I am Owlowiscious. Fair helping bird to the mare known as Twilight Sparkle.” He is British, I should’ve seen that coming with the whole…tie.

“That’s an interesting name for an owl…it’s just owl but delicious? Owlicious?” I definitely butchered that.

“No no, there’s an extra -luh- in the phonology needed to correctly say my name. It’s okay if it’s difficult, only Twilight has been able to correctly say my name upon the first use.”

“Right. Right. Owlowiscious, how come I haven’t seen you yet? I’ve been living in this tree house for about a month. I get if you’re nocturnal, but why now?”

“Wait, are you taking to him?” Spike was just watching me talk to the Owl, this was mind boggling to him. The only pony he saw talk to animals was Fluttershy.

“Yeah. One second.”

“It’s okay my dear Spike. We are just having a pleasant conversation between gentlemen, and for why you haven’t seen me. I’ve been doing my own thing, molting, nesting, courting the fair owl in the forest. My adventures are my own, but I shall let you know they are exciting in their own right. I would write a novel about my adventures, but alas, no pony would read them.” He…is a oddly talkative.

“If you want to write about it, then do it. Be like that one writer…what was her name…uh. Daring Do! That’s the one.”

“The one that loyal Rainbow Dash reads?” His head tilted. Well, not so much his head as his face rotated. Owls are weird man.

“Heh, reading rainbow.” That’s a funny joke. I should say that too her…if I ever talk to her.

“Quite a reading rainbow she is, but I shall take your advice. Anonymous, in response to your kindness. I shall tell you something about Twilight.” Gossip? Ha! I knew this world work!

“Lay it on me.” He flies off my back and upon a very conveniently placed bird rest.

“First off, Twilight does keep a diary. I do not know if it’s contents, but she is quite the prolific writer within. I know she keeps it under her mirror.” Oooo~! While ponies don’t have panties for me to do a panty raid, at least I don’t think they do—adult conversation for later—I think a diary raid will do. If I get blasted in the chest by Twilight then I can be really funny or plead to being lonely and cold. Emotional manipulation always wins! That can be tonight perhaps…

“Well. Thanks for the info.” I uh…how do I salute work hooves? I stare at my hoof for a moment before deciding to just wave him goodbye as I walk back to the lunch table.

“So, what were you talking about? Fluttershy usually don’t tell us anything about how it goes.” Spike, please. Chew your food.

“Well. Mostly introductions and how he wants to be a writer. I wonder how it’ll go for him.”

“Well, hey! If he needs an editor, I know some pony to who can speak his language.” He snaps his fingers and points at me. Finger guns, hell yeah!

“Ayyyy.” I wish I had fingers right now to shoot some back, but alas, hooves. I wish there was a druid or a shapeshifter nearby. Their specific magic for polymorphing can come really handy. Hehe…I made a pun.

So, my ability to talk to animals is weird. In reality, he hooted twice, but the spell translates everything he says into a speaking tone based on what the animal believes they would sound like if they could talk, but it doesn’t follow exactly how the animal talks due to how some of them communicate. Through dances, body language, and other sounds, it goes through a lot. It takes time for the translation to go through naturally without speeding up the translation’s speaking speed. So to spike, it probably looks like I’m staring at this owl for an uncomfortable amount of time.

So basically, I talk to animal in my own space. Animals do funny things to talk. In reality, I’m staring at an animal. Got it? No? God this is why I let Twilight write the reports on magic!

I heard the front door open and a hearty. “Spike! I’m home!” Speak do the devil. Twilight is here! Let’s go! “Let’s get this place clean for when Anonymous gets home, Luna said…” Twilight walked into the kitchen, pausing her sentence, holding some groceries in her saddle bags I assume. With some minor thinking she continued, “…that he left already. Should’ve maybe seen that coming. You did teleport here before after all.”

“What up? I brought doughnuts!” I slid over the bag to her. I did mention to Joe that I was going to bring things to Ponyville, and was wondering what the locals from there usually get. He mentions his favorite customer always reading in here, I ask if it’s Twilight Sparkle. I felt a glint in his eyes, mumbling something about young love and he gave me a special order.

So yeah, that was fun!

“Doughnut Joe’s! You know, I usually get my…” Twilight reached in the bag and pulled out a doughnut. A stunned pause afflicted her. It’s her usual flavor, coffee flavored. “How did you know?”

What do I say to that, I know, I told the shop owner about you? How do I even naturally weave that into a conversation without sounding overtly creepy or…fuck it say something! “I just guessed.”

“Thank you!” She is hugging me, oh this is nice! It’s more than just the friendly hugs. I guess she wasn’t having a good day, or was worried for me, or both. Though I do hear whispering between Nameless and Spike, I’ll…hold off on doing something about it.

“Pony Joe just kinda knows, I guess.” I eat my doughnut abruptly, god I love glazed doughnuts. Trying to not ignore the mare in my fur. It’s good to be home.

“Right.” She let’s go and chuckles. The books kinda lied to her, when a colt gives you a gift that you know is personal, hug them deeply and they will hug back with the same effect, but anonymous didn’t respond in kind. She guessed it was a coincidence this time around, but next time she’ll get it. It was advice from a relationship advice book, but she’s trying!

‘It’s good to be home’ I think to myself, ‘What a wonderful world.’

You know, with more days like these. I think I’ll enjoy myself.

Luna looks over the notes on memory viewing that Anonymous had given her. It was difficult to actually read, given to Anonymous’ habit of going on long exacerbated tangents on the most niche of magical subjects. Still, she was able to get it down.

“You can only dream of what you’ve seen, even if you don’t remember seeing it…” She recited, trying to get herself ready for any tragedy that she may see in Anonymous’ head.

“I’m sorry my temporary mentor, I just need to know what you’ve seen.” With a light of her horn, the world faded around her. The Dreamscape was now her new environment around her. With baited breath, she awaited Anonymous’ dream.

“Oh. Tia is sleeping too…” She peered in and saw…cake. Luna was unamused by this and pulled away. “I suppose I can pass the time by helping with nightmares. Anonymous does sleep rather late for a pony. I should respect him more for wanting to be awake longer in my night, but today, it’s only wasting more time for me to be in the Dreamscape…” Luna talks to herself, she has no idea why she felt compelled to talk this much exposition, but it felt nice to get her plan and frustration into words.

With her wings unfolding, and a powerful gust of magic wind underneath, she flies though the darkness of the Dreamscape.

Memory

Huh…I’m in the Dreamscape. That’s odd. Last time I was pulled into this place automatically was when…

When the dream wizard…

Not again. God damnit. Who is it this time?

I had enough of people digging around in my head. I just want them to stay out of the things I hold dear. I should be able to take care of this…

I exit my own dream and wander around the Dreamscape. It should take care of itself.

Luna’s heart was pounding, she was about to invade some pony’s memory for the first time. It wouldn’t be the first time she used Anonymous’ dream magic, she did some—tests let’s call them that—tests on herself. Memory manipulation is surprisingly easy. She was always adept with dream magic, so it was just another facet of her abilities.

She dove in headfirst, careful not to disturb Anonymous’ dream. It wasn’t a nightmare thankfully, her beating heart can’t help itself from imagining the worse. Perhaps it’s nervousness, or rather the guilt she feels having to do this to an innocent pony. She decided she can apologize to him later, she just needs a tiny bit of a memory.

Closing her eyes, she delve deeper into Anonymous’s mind. Leaving the dream world and into his memories, it was strange. The writings did say that everyone has a different way of viewing their memories. Yet Anonymous’ mind was cluttered. It was a rows upon rows of shelves placed in a wide white void. Everything was exposed like a book upon a display stand. The memories themselves are dvd disk cases, complete with the title and image.

“The memories are here, but why have so many? What did you experience Anonymous?” Luna said to herself, taking a slow walk forward through the memory space. The titles of the memories are exposed out to be read.

“First spell learned, First Fire Pit…First time drinking…I’m in the wrong section. This seems like the area of firsts.” Luna craned her neck to view the other sides of the isles. To her left was family stuff, but something felt off. The titles were fine, but the covers usually displayed something relating to the memory, a fire ball, a fire pit, a beer. Yet the family on the cover had their faces marked over with pen. Plus their bodies were too lanky, and they had clothes.

“Poor anonymous. To have your memories messed with. Fret not, I’ll be careful to—“ She felt something, her magic was being drained at an exponential rate. She shut off her flowing mane and constant exhaust of excess magic to prevent this new danger from gaining more power.

“Careful? CAREFUL?!” The familiar voice of Anonymous caused Luna’s ear to twitch. “I had enough of you dream wizards thinking my mind is your own playground! Get out! Now!” The voice was filled with so much hatred, it caused Luna’s face to visibly cringe at the sound.

“Sir Anonymous! Tis’ I, Princess Luna! I wish you no harm! I just needed to confirm your experiences in Longsword!” Luna was caught red handed. She felt the need to stand her ground for whatever reason. Deciding to accept her instincts for now.

“I know what you’re here for Luna! I already gave Shining Amor your interview or whatever. Truthfully I did not enjoy having to bend the truth so much to be right.” Anonymous slowly made his appearance, forming a human shape. The usual black tie, the mask, his mismatched socks and black tennis shoes. A strange mask was covering his face, green with an embroidered question mark.

‘That’s not Anonymous.’ Luna thought, yet in her heart, she knows that’s him. ‘He looks like a cross-between a Minotaur and a Monkey. Just no fur.’

“I can hear that you know!” The sudden outburst made Luna flinch at the threat.

“Right. Apologies Anonymous, I forgot you were an adept in the dream field as well.” Luna had no doubt that this was anonymous, but why choose such a form? She had no answers, nor could she give the question a thought.

“Yeah. Yeah. As I said, I gave Shining Armor the thing, or whatever and you have it. That should be it, done! Yet, you’re in my head. Why?” Anonymous’s hand clenched into a fist. Even if Luna can’t see her face.

“Anonymous, I truly mean no harm. If you have nothing to hide, then why have such animosity?”

“Because it’s uh…” Anonymous paused, even here she can hear his thoughts. ‘No…not again,’ his thoughts were sad, it hurt her to hear that. Anonymous shoot his head clear, realizing she can do the same to him. “Just get out, okay?”

“Anonymous, what does ‘again’ have to do with this?”

“None of your business.” Anonymous walked over to her and tried to push her out of his head, but the mare wouldn’t budge. She just stood her ground. This was a sad display, it was like watching a teenaged version of herself again. Internally, she cringed when she remembered she called herself ‘Blood Moon’ for a year.

“Anonymous, you and I both know I cannot just be mushed out of a dream.” Anonymous stayed silent, his hand pressed against her fur, his feet slides across the floor as he tried to push her. He grits his teeth and closed his eyes, his scrunched up face in an attempt to push her. Luna feels mixed about this, it feels nice, but at the same time alien.

“Get out!” Anonymous yelled again. He seems like a broken record, Luna noticed this and decided to use her dream magic to pull Anonymous away from her. Holding him up in the air. “Hey! That’s cheating!” He was struggling, flailing his limbs around in her magic grasp.

“Anonymous, I truly mean no harm.” Luna sighed, this was getting difficult.

“That’s what they all say!” Anonynous was not being easy to deal with, it was like a child.

She decided to carry him above herself, looking over the memories. Seeing one that’s particularly interesting, since she was still in the lane of firsts, a memory labeled ‘First arrival to Equestria’ next to…’first arrival of Rubicon’? There is no such world known as Rubicon. The cover had a picture of a strange mechanical thing. She did not know what she was looking at.

“Sir anonymous. Care to explain these?” Luna looked up at Anonymous, who was still struggling.

“Fuck off!” Luna flinched at the foul language. She was no stranger to the rough intensity of Griffon swears, but didn’t expect it from Anonymous.

“Anonymous!” She scolded him, but decided to ignore him for now. Deciding to check more of these ‘First Arrival’ memories. All of them were places she had no knowledge of, Lordran, Kanto, Night City, and Yggdrasil was listed multiple times.

“Anonymous, where has thou been?” She instinctively spoke in her Royal We, these memories were real. She could feel them, they weren’t fabricated or imagined worlds, but real tangible memories that imprinted permanently on Anonymous’ mind.

“Places! Let me go! Or I’m calling myself!” Anonymous reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. With a click he turned it one, and dialed a number.

“You can call your…” Luna realized, this wasn’t Anonymous, this was simply a doppelgänger. “No!” She knew that Anonymous could reasonably take her out if the dream realm, so in a panic she began to shift through the firsts as fast as she could. Then she found it, an odd memory. First arrival in Longsword, it wasn’t of his birth nor was it of anything she knew of Longsword. It was just two griffons wearing their dark colored uniform.

She regrets having to intrude into this, but her curiosity can’t be satiated. Her horn lit up and entered the memory.

“Fuck!” Unfortunately, when she entered she dropped Anonymous on the floor. “My nose!” He clutched his nose with both hands, sitting up on instinct. “God damnit. How did she fucking shut off my absorbing!” He punched the floor. He dialed the number again. “C’mon you fuck, pick up.”

I slum around in the dream world, my A.D.S (Anonymous Defense System) should have pushed the intruder out by now. It usually works wonders, it pretends to be weak, then after absorbing a good amount of their magic, he self destructs, taking the dream intruder with them. Sure it kinda gives me a headache when I wake up, but it keeps my memories safe.

Then I felt a buzzing on my butt, that’s an odd feeling considering I don’t have any pockets. Turning my head I see my cutie mark has lit up and began to vibrate, that’s neat.

Using my horn I pull the cutie mark off my butt and put it to my ear. The hook of the question mark holds near my ear, while the tail is acting as my microphone. “Hello?”

“Hey you shitter!” I pull the question mark away from my ear, of course he’s this loud. Keep forgetting I made him.

“Ayyy! Anonymous! How’s it been bud?”

“Terrible, this big ass blue horse lady walked in and prevented me from being a fucking bomb!”

“Blue horse lady? What kind of blue? The only other blue horse lady I know is Rainbow Dash.”

“I didn’t say rainbow horse lady, I said blue!”

“Then…” I slowly realize who it was digging around my memories. “Luna…”

“Yep! That’s the one. I’m taking my fifteen, go do your whole magic battle or whatever.”

“Yeah, yeah. Give me a second.” I light up my horn and disappear, heading into my own mind is strange but I’m used to it.

Let’s see, where could she be? I close my eyes and cycle through my memories quickly, years of dream magic has kept me organized in my head. Yet even shifting through, I can’t find her. That’s odd, she usually should….

Wait…

“She shut off her own magic didn’t she?” I smile softly and chuckle, continuing, “…clever girl.”

I had to enter my own Mindscape. The rows of memories segregated into their own section. I had to fly through the isles to see if any of them got messed with. Then I noticed something odd, it was my memory of Longsword, on the floor. She…is going through to see if I was a liar. Oh fuck! Enter!

I quickly hop into the memory, I didn’t need to use magic, it was my own head! I’m in control here!

I slide through and skid on the dirt, stopping myself cleanly as I look around. Trying to find her, it’s difficult to find another person in my own memory already. Now that she has turned her magic off, she practically made me blind to her presence. This is so annoying.

“Anonymous Incognito!” I heard a Royal Canterlot voice behind me. That scared me, its proximity and the fact that it’s Luna. I don’t know how much of an experienced Dream Wizard she is, but since her talent is everything relating to the night, I’m kinda fucked.

“She’s right behind me…” I turn around slowly, looking up to see a flying Luna above me. Her angry face was all I need to know that I’ve been caught as a liar.

“Hey…Luna.”

“Princess Luna!” Her royal voice still rings loud. “Why hast thou been stringing a lie together!?” She’s disappointed. Now I imagine getting yelled at by Celestia is like disappointing your mom, she’s mad at you, yes, but wants you to do better. Now, getting yelled at by Luna feels like I disappointed the cool aunt who isn’t going to do the cool thing anymore.

“I uh…” I had nothing, I didn’t have a plan for when I get caught, hell I didn’t plan on Luna raiding my own mind!

“Anonymous!” Her cold and bitter voice rung in my ears.

“Eep!” I squeak on the very sound of my name.

“I am a fair Princess, but at least you still helped. I’m not mad Anonymous, just…disappointed.” No matter who is saying that, it still hurts to hear.

“I still went there! I still saw what I saw!”

“You have barely spent five minutes in Longsword! You’ve been attacked by two scouts, saw a burning village then left! Your note is now the only trustworthy source I have upon Longsword’s crimes.” Luna stepped forth, bringing the note to my muzzle, I just grab it and pull it off, but she shoved it back into my muzzle.

“I…uh.” Wait where is she going with this?

“Your note is more than orders to be passed along! They aren’t doing just genocide, Anonymous. They’re enslaving ponies in thralldom, and yet you, a stranger who hasn’t been born there, who hasn’t even been originated from Equestria, and made us take action early was not a good decision Anonymous, yes it saves lives Anonymous. Our core tenants of harmony is honesty, and you’ve been honest, yet deceitful.” Uh, you’re losing me Luna, my fear is turning into confusion.

“So I’m being yelled at for forcing your hand to take action? Doesn’t make much sense to me. It feels you are making an excuse to yell at me. For what?” I look up at her, Luna is…crying? She’s red in the face, but tears are budding.

“You’ve suffered for too long Anonymous. I’ve seen more than just Longsword…” She sniffs, rubbing an eye to clear out her out her angry tears. “I’m not sure how to feel. I want to be angry that you’ve lied to us, yet I can’t be. Your actions will save many ponies from indentured servitude, but it’s through a path of lies. I just want to ask Anonymous. Why did you go to Longsword? You could’ve died, or worse been captured.” Her voice slowly relaxes itself, no longer blind by a fury, but a calm tranquil peace.

“Could’ve just asked from the start…or not even entered at all.” I sigh, this is too much. Good grief. “I went there out of pure curiosity, it was by chance I ran into those two and took the note. That is all, it’s true I’m not from Longsword, or Equestria…”

“Then where did you come from?” Oh boy, do I tell her?

…

Fuck it, someone needs to know.

“I died Princess Luna. I died and just appeared here.”

“Anonymous, we can hardly such a believe a story if we haven’t seen your memories.” She chucked, sympathy pouring from her.

“Yeah…” Where did I come from? It’s been so long since I’ve seen home. Perhaps the Wizard that originally attacked me is still affecting me. It doesn’t matter, I can’t go home anyway. I’ll just live life to the fullest, for them.

I felt a wing wrap around me, then suddenly draw close to Luna. “I can hear your thoughts Anonymous. I know I missed my sister when I was gone on the moon. I’m glad I have her, I just hope we can be there to support you.” Luna’s fur is so warm. Hehe, I can see that blush Luna. ‘Thou can not.’ I heard her thoughts ring. This is nice.

“Thank you Luna.” I smile and hug her back.

Life is good.

Author's Note

Bit of a messy one. I’ll have to edit and refine it soon, but for now. Enjoy!

No Magic, No Problem?

Twilight and I have been walking through the market. It’s honestly quite a nice day today. Ponies are out and about. The hustle and bustle of shopping hour is quite peaceful. It reminds me of the guild halls, adventurers from all corners of the earth walking around, trading quests, gear, and overall being brothers and sisters in arms. I suppose this place got modern enough to no longer require archaic guilds. It’s unfortunate, I could’ve made great pay as an adventurer. Years of academy training, wasted!

“So what are we getting Spike?” I turn to Twilight, she’s happily walking along. It seems to be her default today.

“Well, dragons usually eat gems, and spike loves his gems. So I was thinking a gemstone. He has said he’s saving his money for a particular gemstone, so I’m going to buy it for him. It’s called the Fire Ruby, a gem that has been fermented in a lava bath for many years. It probably adds flavor, like wine. It’s precious as it’s an import from the Dragon Lands.” Twilight takes a stop near a jeweler, it seems to be rather fancy for Ponyville. Smooth pillars hold it up, rather than the wooden walls everyone else uses.

“Huh…I guess since he’s a dragon, he’s going to want to collect that.” I look over at her, “And I assume you have the money

“Yep! I usually can’t afford much. The electricity bills used to burn a hole into my pouch, but now with the magic generator we make our own! I can afford to buy it for him, but I can’t hoof the bill entirely. So, we have you.” Twilight was making her way over but I put a hoof on her midsection.

“About that…” I look away, a little ashamed at my inept magic capabilities.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you spent it all.” Twilight turns around to face me. I can see some of her hair stick out, I guess it’s a stress response.

“No. It’s just…it’s easier if I show you.” I try to cast something, I don’t know what but when I did. It caused sparks to exit my horn. My mana is full, but it seems my horn doesn’t work. Perhaps it’s my medium that’s busted and I just need a staff, or the path to enter my medium is blocked internally and I need to cast a large scale spell in order to clear it. I need a proper doctor.

“Your horn doesn’t work? And you can’t grab your wallet because…” Twilight doesn’t seem as stressed anymore, more intrigued as she puts a hoof to her chin and leans in. She brandished a small hammer and strikes my horn, causing my horn to shoot some sparks. It didn't hurt at least, just tingle.

“It’s in the pocket dimension, yes. I see you’re taking good use in it. Glad I taught you.” I’m now even more envious, I don’t think she can open my pocket dimension. My knowledge on that spell only runs to opening and closing your own pocket.

“It’s really helpful, I have an emergency first aid kit in here!” So that’s where the hammer comes from, isn’t that for checking your knees? Horse medicine will probably hit different.

“So what’s the hammer for?” Twilight ushers me to step away from the jeweler so we can hang out near a bench.

“This hammer strikes a point where a magic is unstable. It’s also known as the magic key, since it fixes most horns on the first strike. Like a key to open a door.” Now that I look at it, it looks like one of those hammers doctors use to strike knees. Since horse knees are oddly flexible in this universe, and I don’t know if they use hammers on real horses, they’ll find a use for it somewhere.

“Let me guess, it automatically ushers a spell out a quick jolt of energy to clear a horn’s blockage?”

“Well. Not exactly, it more strikes the point most common for unicorns to experience horn failure.” She points the hammer to just above my forehead. “Right here, a line connects from your horn to a spot near your heart.” Oh my Mana pool, “and this spot here has always been iffy. It causes so many problems when you use a lot of magic without rest.”

“Huh. A vein that gets clogged when lots of magic is run through. It’s like exercising to much, I think.”

“Precisely!” She flashed a smile and squees? That’s a sound if I ever heard one, it’s adorable though.

“Huh. I wonder when that happened…” I’m reminded of my horn being cracked in the dream world. I know that places with high concentration of magic, dreams can affect the body as it’s deeply connected with the soul. My soul didn’t take enough to permanently mark it, but it did take enough to take a huge chunk of magic to repair itself, so it must’ve shoved so much magic to repair itself it broke my horn. “I guess I can figure it out. For now, I don’t have access to my wallet. How much is the Fire Ruby anyway?”

“It’s about 600 bits. I was going to pool in 300.”

“That’s reasonable actually, I think my weeks of staying here, my stipend ended up giving me about 900 bits…then the ones before I have about…1289 bits? Applejack cider’s do end up burning some bits away.” I get free food, barely put in anything for rent, and I have all the entertainment at home. I should buy a house. I can’t keep relying on Twilight, then maybe I can start dating her. I don’t think it’s healthy to be dating your landlord. Something like that. I don’t think things will go south, but it will feel like moving too fast. Ack, love problems, I should’ve talked to Cadance.

“I get that. I’m no stranger to Applejack’s cider.”

“Anyway. You know anything to fix my horn?”

“Well a few things. Let’s start simple.”

“Twilight!” Oh god, Germans. If that accent is from the Riverlands then they must have water related names.

“Alole! Lotus!” Twilight called out.

“Oh Twilight, vee are very pleased to zee ya.” Pink girl responded. Who is Alole and who is Lotus? They’re both very similar and at this point I’m scared to ask. Also, the more they speak they’re also Swedish?

“Vat brings you in today?” The Blue One spoke up. Mix of German and Swedish…

“Well, I’m not here for something, but he is.” Twilight uses magic to drag me forward. You know, I’m not a fan of being manipulated like that…do it more Twilight.

“Oh, what see to be za problem?” Blue one again, they seem kinda nice, yet they have the same cutie mark. I’ve noticed that siblings typically share the same cutie mark, what gives?

“Horn problem.”

“Ah. One moment please.” The two girls went up to Twilight and began to whisper something, then looked over at me then back to whispering.

I decided to make myself comfortable and take a peek around, it’s a wonderful spa. Rooms leading to other rooms and such. Hot tub near the center, and what looks like a barber shop as well. If I felt like it I could use a touch up on my hair, but I have no money.

My ears twitch when I heard a very audible “W-WHAT?!” From Twilight, then some very quick hushes and shushes. Horn problems…is that euphemism for the inability to please? Probably is, you’d think with Erotica existing in this world, Twilight would’ve read some. Perhaps not yet? This does seem like a very pure innocent town. If I meet her parents it’s going to be very clear why she knows very little in terms of sexual interaction. I should toss something wet into my face if her parents are too pure to be alive.

I see a portal open next me and toss a water balloon in my face. “You were right by the way.” Future me spoke then dipped. At least I know I live long enough to meet her parents. Shaking myself clean I turn to the ladies. They don’t seem to notice the water balloon in my face.

Twilight seemed to break clear from the conversation and dragged me forward using her magic again. “Well. He’s gonna need it, not me.” Her nervous laughter and shaky words seem to be broken. I turn to face her, face is red again.

“Well. Ve are gonna have to do some acupuncture. Follow us.” The two decided to turn away and walk, I realized something, my magic passive absorbing isn’t active, I’m not gaining any power from it from Twilight grabbing me. Uh oh. I haven’t been noticing this all day, I usually get a nicely sized amount of magic from Twilight whenever is near me, but now I’m getting nothing.

“Alright then.” I followed them, this spa house is bigger than I expected. Rooms in the back for separate activities, a steam room, an ice room, and a door. To what? It doesn’t say. Probably a janitor closet or the Twin’s rooms.

We were let to an oddly ornate room, it seems Japanese influenced. Paper doors, a couple of incense floods the good aroma and a mat in the middle.

“Lay there, and ve will get Quake.” The twins bow respectfully before parting ways. Twilight found herself comfortable on a small pillow while I just sprawled down on the mat. How do I lay down on the map normally? Loaf myself like a cat? Can horses even do that?

“Okay. Okay.” Oh god, an American. A yellow and brown-ish mare walked in. Her cutie mark is obscured by her work uniform, which is a simple white dress suit. “Let’s see, yep. Unicorn with magical blockage…” A stern and very American voice. It feels weird, but her voice is overly American, if you can catch my drift. “Acupuncture? I really need to tell the twins I’m not an Acupuncture mare! We need more staff members…” She laments about her job before setting the clipboard down. “Alright. Just so you know, you’re going to be my third patient for acupuncture.”

“That’s reassuring.” I look away from her. This is going to sting a lot.

“Don’t worry, I’m the best in the current business.”

“That helps…?” I’m starting to get less and less confident in Quake.

“Well are going to follow this ancient book on acupuncture.” She brandished a leather bound book, at least it looks like leather. “Let’s see here…” Her hoof began to shift through the pages. “Inept stallion…no, wrong horn problem, wing-boner not going down…” They should probably call a doctor and not go to an acupuncture place. “Ah! Here it is, Horn Blockage.”

“Say, can I read that when you’re done with it?” Twilight breaks Quake’s concentration.

“In a moment. Let me focus for now.” She waved a hood to quiet twilight down and she looks back at me, then towards the book. “Let’s see. Here.” She sinks the first pin in. Ow.

“Here.” Ow
“There.” Ouch.
“Over yonder.” She lifted up my tail and sinks another pin just below it.
“Under here.” My hair got lifted up and she sinks then pins around my horn.

This continued on for a couple of minutes until I look like a voodoo doll with a very heated rival. This feels weird, I can barely move my legs. There’s some needles near my eyes! Also my butt.

“So how does it work?” Twilight asked, wincing slightly at my misery.

“Well, normally it strikes all the points for magical blockage to occur. So I took some liberties in striking some more points where I can occur, this book is old but reliable.”

“Uh…help? I can’t move?” Twilight looks at me then back to the book.

“Isn’t that the one underneath paralysis?” Twilight points to the book.

“Whoops. Sorry big guy, we’ll have to go again. I accidentally gave you the one that’ll paralyze you.”

“Why is that in the book?!” Please help me.

“Stallions were low in number.” She did not miss a beat.

“…oh.” It’s a good thing I didn’t end up in Ye Olden Times when I reincarnated.

“Maybe if we do this together we can get this faster…” Twilight is doing her Twilighting again. God save me, I hope this is to help and not experiment.

“No. That’s…whatever that is.” Twilight looks away. I did not know I could be forced to constantly cry, but here I am. Look how hard I can cry! PHSSSSSHHS

“Dude! Stop!” Quake puts a couple towels on my face.

“Okay. Last time. This will work!” Twilight is doing something. I can’t see what they are doing but they pull a needle from my back and suddenly I can feel my face. At least I’m not crying.

“Okay. Last one right here…” Right below my eye! Oh god, I can’t stay still. So I slowly turn away. “No! Anonymous, stay still!” Quake somehow grips to my chin and slowly inserts the pin near my eye. This sucks.

“Last point stuck, step back he could experience some magical phenomena.” Quake and Twilight take a few cautionary step back to behind a blast screen window. When the hell?

“Okay. You’re good to go Anonymous!”

“Alright…” This feels weird but at the same time, alright. With my magic finally flowing I call upon my magic, I’m absorbing faint magical energy again, then suddenly it sucked in a lot. Causing the pins to sink further into my flesh. Gritting my teeth in pain I continue onward. I need this magical energy, I have to buy Spike his gift. Else, what am I supposed to do today? Sit around doing nothing? I already do enough of that already, I need to make friends. This magic I absorb from this world will help. I’ve noticed it since Twilight invited me to her place. This place naturally gives you the ability to be sociable.

The Elements of Harmony naturally emit such friendly disposition. Magic is one of them, so being near Twilight allows me to channel the spark into one singular point. The spark of making friends.

I felt the needles dig to deep, hitting me somewhere and I push them back out of my body. I light a force field around me to stop the needles in their track in the air. “Okay. Okay! Whew! I feel so alive!”

“That’s normal. Glad you are my third successful patient.”

“That’s new? You meant to…never mind. Let’s go Twilight! A Fire Ruby awaits!” I quickly rush out the door, no time to stop! Magic finally giving me strength! I feel like I’m on cocaine!

“Hey! Wait up!” I heard Twilight yell as she too began to run, struggling a little but hey, Librarians don’t do much other than reading!

“Come back again sir!” I heard one of the twins spoke up, cute girls, but I’ve got a market to go to.

I should really get myself back together.

Author's Note

Anyone else suddenly think non magic anon was going to be a fun gimmick for a couple more chapters?

I’m starting to think that after a few hours.

Not going to remove this story, just now it’s not a complete fix towards his magic blocking. He’s only remedied the problem…

The First Hour

It’s three days to Spike’s birthday, nothing much has happened. Me and Twilight has bought the gifts, and my magic is stable, yet weaker. So with no further ado I got Nameless with me, we’re both in front of the Ponyville Elementary.

“Of course, why am I here?” Nameless peeks over from my neck and looks up at the red building. Clearly unamused by this.

“Easy, you need kids your age to hang around. Plus it gets you out of the house.” Using my magic I pull her off my back and to the dirt. She clearly likes riding me like a…pony…there are jokes are here, too lazy to think of any.

“Why? So you and twilight can get busy in the basement?” She looks at me with a strange look, a mixture of sass and ‘I know what you are’.

Finding myself bewildered by her statement, I quickly stammer an excuse, “Busy doing science, yes.”

“Oh bullshit!” She exclaimed as a hoof began to press against my chest suddenly, for a small girl she is strong. Must be the earth long magic. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, you like her don’t you?”

“Yeah. And?” I slowly squint my eyes towards the runt.

“Ask her out already, you cad!” Jeez, such foul language woman! She’s getting awfully loud, the other fillies luckily aren’t here to hear her. Perhaps it’s not wise to send her to school with impressionable children, but I’m not known for being such.

“I’m not ready. You know that.” I had to rebutted quickly, my voice is a little shakey. Who knew myself was this aggressive?

“I don’t.” She pauses and leans in closer to me. “Enlighten me.”

“How about I just put you school and you can worry about the topics of adults afterwards?” I quickly grab her with my magic, her flailing is making my focus difficult but it’s nothing I haven’t done before.

“Oh, don’t you test me! I’m already doing shit to Luna in her dreams. I can do the same to you too!” She kept flailing, at this point I’m dealing with a rampaging child.

“Yeah yeah. And who gave you those dream walking abilities?” It was struggle to move her the five feet, my magic is still recovering from being blocked. Perhaps I should visit this Zecora lady Twilight goes on tea outings with. Alchemy is more reliable then the medical sciences.

“I can still use them to kick your ass!”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s enough. Just get to class.” I open the door and set her down. Pushing her inside.

“This ain’t over!” I close the door and sigh, it’s going to be her first day of school. I hope the kids will be okay. Their safety is much needed when alone work her.

I’m going to visit Zecora, maybe she has some intriguing stuff for magic. It kinda sucks being this weak.

Nameless looked at the door that was closed in her face and breathed a heavy sigh. This sucks! She’s stuck at this fucking school, with these fucking kids, and this—hey, this teacher is pretty hot! Maybe this won’t be so bad!

She looked at Cheerilee, can’t deny anything. She is cute, and hot. It’s best not to hit on her, but one plus one does equal two.

“Alright Class, give a warm round of hoof stomping to our new classmate. Nameless Anon!” Cheerilee put the chalk that was in her mouth on the board, slightly spitting some chalk off her lips as she spoke. However, Nameless can figure out the fake cheerfulness of a teacher trying to bring light to students. It’s exciting to see the balance of stress and working with kids unfold in front of her. It shall be stated that she won’t add to the stress, only observe the breaking point. The other ponies can do that for her.

With a look upon the crowd, they weren’t much of hoof stompers, just enough to get a mild reception of existing. There’s a couple of nobodies, though she did recognize Rumble and Scootaloo, no empty seats next to them. Just next to this what’s-her-face, the yellow girl with the red bow, that one. The girl related to Applejack, what’s her name? Apple something or other.

“Nameless, introduce yourself. Give a description, and a fun fact about yourself.” Cheerilee whispered into Nameless’ ear. Nameless thinks she got some chalk in her ear, but that’s a story for another time.

“Well, I’m Nameless Anon, Anonymous is my brother and I was born in a cave!” Nameless was proud of her story. It was intriguing, who else was born in a cave?

A pink filly raised her hoof in the air. Nameless can just sense the privilege from her. “Why a cave?”

“Why not a cave? It’s dank, dark, and oddly beautiful. Biolu-…uh…biolom…glowing plants, and water falls, and uh…” Nameless was about to go off on a tangent, but stumbled over her words. ‘How does Twilight make it so easy?! It shouldn’t be this difficult?! Oh wait, I’m stupid.’ Nameless thought to herself, but decided to shrug it off. “…More rocks!” To finish off her sentence.

The other students couldn’t determine if she was cool, weird, or just plain stupid. So they just gave a verity of mixed expressions. Intrigue, confusion, and boredom to name a few.

“Okay. Well nameless, why don’t you take a seat…back there. Next to Applebloom there.” Cheerilee extended a hoof towards Applebloom.

Applebloom wasn’t really paying attention, just staring out the window. Then at the sound of her names, her ears twitched and she flicked herself back up. “Huh, wha?” She finally faced forward during class and saw that fellow blank flank she met at the party a week ago. She watched Nameless approach her. Nameless decided to just take her seat and sit down. No need to get talkative during class, it wasn’t important yet.

Nameless however got bored quickly, maybe she can use her new friends to cause some mischief. The bounds of being annoying do need to be tempered for a certain moon princess.

“Hehehe…” Nameless chuckles to herself.

“What ya laughing bout?” Applebloom looked over at her new classmate.

“Just thought of something really funny.” Nameless looked back at Cheerilee, not an ideal target, but that prissy pink pony near the front however…

With my journey to the Everfree I noticed someone new I haven’t seen yet, a buttery yellow pony with a pink mane. She has some saddlebags resting on her flanks, so I can’t see her cutie mark. What’s interesting is she is talking to Mr. Jay, my magic absorbing has been slowly strengthening up, but even I can tell she isn’t using magic, she naturally can just talk to animals. A ranger I assume, or a Druid. Most likely a Ranger, the Earth Ponies —not normal, I got a light slapping from Twilight, apparently calling them ‘Normal’ is really offensive, whoops—are the ones who are connected to the ground and plants, so Ranger. would Applejack be a ranger?

Class decisions aside, I can’t even hear the butter pony, Mr. Jay is very audible in his speech. I silently activate my Talk to Animals spell and walk forward to the two. I slightly remember the road to Zecora’s but a refresher from Mr. Jay should be nice. I think Twilight remembers, forgot to ask, oh well!

“So, I just ask for extra bird seed for the journey down south Fluttershy, I hopefully am not intruding on the supply of the other birds.” Mr. Jay is oddly gentlemen like while talking to her. Did he put on an accent towards this ‘Fluttershy’?

“Oh, no worries Mr. Jay, I am well aware you and Mrs. Jay have an egg on the way. I have the perfect amount prepared for the upcoming migration. Winter is soon, so rest up for the journey.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, I can barely hear her. She must be the quiet types, better make a decent impression.

“Hello?” I ask, trying to control my volume. Dont want to scare the poor girl.

“Eep!” The mare jumped at the sound of my voice, but didn’t jump just was generally startled. Mission accomplished?

“Oh. It’s…you.” Mr. Jay looked at me strange, it wasn’t much of a distain as much as a ‘I’m only being nice because I’m in the presence of good company’ type of vibe. “Hello again sir.”

“Hey. Just came to ask about that Zebra you said lived there.” I knew he said something about a Zebra, not if he knew her name. “Plus, I heard you’re having a kid, congrats don’t hurt yourself before you become a parent.”

“Yes. I plan on not getting myself too worked up before my yearly migration. Winter is coming you know?” Mr. Jay still spoke strangely, the yellow pony hasn’t spoken up, just looking towards me and Mr. Jay with her face hidden behind her hair as she turned away to hide even more. Awww, she’s shy. “But, if it’s directions you want, I’m afraid I can’t help you. Perhaps Fluttershy can.”

“I get that. So…” I turn to face Fluttershy and see that Mr. Jay has just left, the dick abandoned her so he could leave. Good for him. “Ah, he’s gone, oh well. So, you’re Fluttershy.”

”Yes…”

“What?” Even with the better hearing in this pony body, I still can’t hear her.

”I’m sorry, I said. yes…” She is making this very difficult, I like her! She should be considered best pony I met so far. Which is saying a lot considering I have been constantly hitting on unicorns lately. Listen, practicing pick up lines on the local lesbian Lyra is very difficult. I also haven’t been very successful at getting friends. Perhaps this is my chance, she’s shy, but most likely kind, I can feel it!

“Alright then, I’m just going to assume I heard a yes. Do you know the path to Zecora? I’ve heard from Twilight that she’s very adept with alchemy.”

“…You know Twilight?” She slowly turns to face me, I can see her eyes now. She is…Jesus can ponies even be this beautiful? If Rarity is beautiful because of her make up, Fluttershy just is just raw beauty. Shy, and hot…this is trope I’ve seen before.

“You’re the stallion who’s been living with her.” She was actually speaking in her usual hushed tone rather than the quietness. A good change of pace.

“Yes. It’s a strange situation, but I’ve been doing alright.” I scratch the back of my head…how am I scratching with hooves?

“And you can talk to the little critters too…” She got a little quiet, she seems to be in thought for a couple of moments.

“Yeah…” The silence is deafening. I maybe should’ve asked Twilight for directions. This is getting kinda awkward. “Just asking for directions to Zercora, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh. I don’t mind…” She lifts up a hoof and points towards the forest. “Whenever I visit Zecora, I just follow the path and walk through the thistle…” Her voice is still struggling to speak up, but I can get the gist of it just fine. ”She’s also not in today…”

“Aight, thanks!” With instructions in mind, I walk down to the Everfree. Well, that was weird. Shy people don’t really click with me all to well, but I still know to just wait and let them speak when ready. Still she may be best Pony. No doubt in my mind, unless I find some very theatric showmanship, then my mind might change.

Fluttershy watched as the stallion trotted away, despite her warning that Zecora isn’t home. Normally she would be enthralled to meet another pony that shares her gift of animal communication, but his ability to speak to them wasn’t the issue. It was that Mr. Jay was very clearly uncomfortable around him. It also didn’t help that Mr. Jay has some choice words for a ‘Long snout, small brained, horn headed stallion who doesn’t listen, who’s also green,’ so it was best to be cautious. Still, if that’s the stallion Twilight has been sheltering, she’s counting about two weeks until they end up together. The girls must never know about her secret ship chart.

With my quick venture towards the hut and minor scratches from the thistle, I find myself at this place again. I’m half sure I blew her off one time while bloodthirsty.

With a knock on the door, I sit and I wait.

She’s in today, right? Hopefully.

I’ll still wait.

…

Any second now.

I knock on the door a second time just to be safe.

And I sit her while I wait.

…

She’s not in…

God damnit, I’m gonna go find her. She can’t be too far in this forest. She must be a forager.

“And so class. For some extra help on Chemistry this week, we have Zecora here to help with our lab.” Cheerilee stepped behind her desk, she was really using Zecora as a cover so she could get on some grading she may or may not have put off last night.

Nameless on the other hand was suddenly very interested. Her plan would only get stronger with two adults. Anonymous would be so proud! So proud that he would clean Twilight’s mouth instead! Ha!

“Hahah…” Nameless was laughing to herself, again. It’s like the fourth time this class dude.

“Seriously, what is so darn funny?” Applebloom was getting kinda annoyed about not being in on the joke.

“You wouldn’t get it.” Nameless told her, she looked back at the pink foal. That little brat won’t see the light of day. She’s going to bully that privilege right out of her.

Unfortunately, she set her sights to bully on another bully. Only god knows how well this will go.

Author's Note

I’m back! Maybe! Who knows?

Is it time for a school arc? I think it’s time for a school arc.

The Two-Point-Five Hour

Nameless has gotten her first A of the school year. She is very proud of this, science is easy! Unfortunately she couldn’t bring her liquid joke out of the classroom, only taken home. It’s just a precaution, yes, but Nameless had now tools to bully with. Farmer girl could be fun to hang out with, she must be built tough like a farm. Scootaloo must be around, sure she was asleep for most of the lecture but she still could be fun!

With Nameless feeling energized at the idea of having dudes—or rather mares—to mess around with gave her some joy. She can have her own friend group. They can dent mailboxes, toss toilet paper on the annoying guy’s house, look up very unsafe things in a biology textbook. The things she looks forward too! So with a pep in her step she fell down the single step that led to the playground. “Ow…” She slightly groaned in pain, her muzzle was in kaput. Not a fun experience.

“Nice walking, Blank Flank” Nameless’ ears have twitched, looking up at the two new faces above her. It’s the rich girl, and silver second in command, what did they want? Oh, wait gotta get into character.

“Name is not Blank, it’s Nameless, unless you got gotten in your ears. It’s not that difficult to tell.” Nameless fights back, not letting the rich girl get one over her. It’s her right to win!

“Oh don’t mind us Blank Flank,” The Rich Girl and Silver Sidekick spoke in unison just for two words. They’re mega best friends, aren’t they? A pang of jealousy rode through her. “Just greeting the new pony, was hoping to meet some pony of a more…” She twirled her hoof around in the air, before pointing at Nameless’s indeed Blank Butt. “Talented verity.”

“Eh. Wishing too much, besides, not all of us can be gifted with the talent of being born rich. Don’t choke on that Silver Spoon in your mouth.” Nameless will not go down.

The comment made the rich girl blush red and gasp at the comment. “H-How dare you! My relationship with Silver Spoon is purely professional!” Silver Spoon was slightly heartbroken but didn’t think much of it, she was too busy watching the blank flank actually fight back, and hard.

‘Bingo,’ Nameless thought, a small grin growing on her face. “Must be a common comment in your house. If you can just repeat that. I wonder how many times your dad has been caught sleeping with another mare.” She chucked slightly, “a dirty household, isn’t it?” With small steps she approached the rich girl

“H-Hey! Leave Daddy out of this!” The rich girl was slowly forming tears at the edges of her eyes as she stepped back, a small crowd of fillies surrounded the two. Leaving her and Nameless trapped. Some of the fillies tilted their heads at the comment, others merely were disgusted at Nameless’ behavior. The crusaders just kinda watched, Applebloom didn’t like the use of family so slightly disgruntled, Scotaloo was crying tears of joy at how beautiful the display was, and Sweetie Bell was just more confused, what did a stallion sleeping with a mare have to do with anything, she did it all the time with Scotaloo and Applebloom!

“How about I don’t, I’ll bring good ol’ mommy into this too. Don't test me, rich girl.” Nameless poked her face into girl’s own personal space. Adrenaline spoking in her blood, this felt good.

“Well! Uh…your mom…uh.” The rich girl was stumbling over her words. Caught off guard by her comment. “You were born in a cave!” She tried to yell something, it fell flat.

Namless frowned, she was hoping for more of a challenge. “Oh well, no matter. I did my share, and you got yours.” Nameless pulled back, and walked out to the edge of the crowd, where the crusaders stood. Scotaloo moved out of the way out of pure respect.

“What just happened?” Silver Spoon quickly rushed over to her friend, who was confused, but got the message. She wiped her tears and stood up, proud and angry.

“Somepony has to be taught lession. No one brings up daddy and gets away with it! Let’s go Silver Spoon.” The two break off and head away from the crowd, which was a struggle.

Nameless looked over at the girls parting away and chuckles. “Good first impression me, I showed up, basically beat up the biggest guy in the room, and now I shall be showered with respect.” She was prepared to sit down and lean on a tree for the remainder of recess.

[…about 15 minutes later…]

“NAMELESS ANON?!”

Nameless immediate sat up and looked around. That’s strange it was almost as if Twilight was yelling right above.

“Must be the wind.” She slowly laid back down before hearing sounds of footsteps. Also burning. Sitting up she looked around and saw a blazing pony running at her directly.

”NAMELESS!” The voice there it was again…

No.

It can’t be.

The blazing pony is Twilight!

“Shit!” On instinct Namless got up and began to sprint, trying to break away from the pursuing foe. Running down the hill, Twilight was fast like this. How was she so fast, almost as if her rapid flames made her dash down the streets at breakneck speeds.

“Oh god! Oh shit! Oh shit!” Nameless’s heart pounded, deciding to duck into an alleyway, hoping to find something to hide behind.

“I’m going to have so many choice words with you!” Nameless was caught at a dead end, her little heart only pounding harder. Pacing around hoping to find any sort of exit.

“Wait, Twilight have mercy!”

“Usually, I don’t like Diamond Tiara, since she bullies my friend’s little sisters, but you made her cry! You said a bad word!” Twilight was internally channeling her inner Royal We voice that she never knew she had. Her voice boomed as she spoke banged Nameless on the head, like a drummer hitting his drums. Nameless began to quiver, but still kept a smile that twitched to a frown. She told herself she’d never go down without a fight!

“Y-Yeah, well! You’re certainly hotter than you were before, maybe hit on my brother while you’re like that!” Nameless was smiling, which only made Twilight’s flames burn brighter with seething anger. Nameless knows nothing about magic, so how she was able to produce fire from her head is beyond her. Poke the bear and you’ll get eaten. Something like that. Where did that knowledge come from?

”Oh please, next time I see him. I have some choice words to give him about YOU.” Twilight’s horn lit up, instead of its usual lovely color, it burned a deep amber. She was ready to grab Nameless and deep clean her mouth. The child behavior books weren’t keen on punishment, but this is justified!

Before Twilight could do anything a sickly green energy surrounded her and teleported her away.

“Ha! Take that! You-“ Nameless closed her eyes and began to breath slowly. “You raggedy, brother seducing sla-“ When Nameless opened her eyes, she found herself in a purple velvet room, right next to Twilight who was back to normal but with smoke emitting from her hair.

“What were you going to say?” Twilight gave Nameless a smile teeth unmoving as she spoke. They were trapped in a strange room, she didn’t know what room they were in, but there was some makeup remover on a nearby make up stand. Sure it was unsafe, but that tongue needed to be clean somehow.

“Woah woah woah!” Nameless ran towards the door, only to find it hard to open.

“Nameless~ come here, once Anonymous sees how much of a good care taker I am for foals. He’ll fall for me, I’m sure of it. All stallions love a good mother instinct likely to be faithful.” Nameless heart began pounding again, she’s not dealing with an angry twilight anymore, an insane one! Not again! Mad scientist Twilight was already scary enough! Help! HEEELP!

Author's Note

Oooo~ spooky. School arc ended, ran out of ideas!

Wasn’t much of an arc, mostly…something? Dunno if I should focus on Nameless, little side stories are difficult to wave into the main story. You know? I’ll try my best to include at least everyone once. With their own story.

The Final Hour

I’ve finally done it. Every room in this dilapidated castle is now a beautiful pristine color. Hell, I’ve even restored the throne room! Left the two thrones restored to their hopefully former glory, restoring the moon chair was pretty neat! Iron only needed to be cleaned, refurbished with a new purple padding, and cousin. The gold replacement was tricky, I knew unalloyed gold cannot be replicated due to their innate resistance to magic, so I had to use pyrite instead. A good trade off.

The only issue was the statue in the center and a weird memorabilia of a tree with holes. Wonder what those two are about. Not much I can do with those. God itself is probably preventing me from even touching those. Does this place have a god or is Celestia the next best thing?

Eh, less religion for now.

With my head and mind satiated I took a glance around. I’ve really done up the place, the book did say I need a honest opinion to break it. So here it goes! I think this looks pretty good!

…

Uhhh…Magic? Are you gonna stop?

Maybe I could continue with a couple more touch-ups. I’m not honest with myself, I may need more to fix up.

Like these…stairs! They take up so much space, put them as individual tiles on the walls. So that when intruders come, you flick a switch to retract them. Though that could be an issue with Pegasus and Unicorns being able to negate the whole uncrossable area…

Hmm…

I’m going to workshop this, I wonder if Twilight and Nameless are doing alright. I kept thinking of them when I was making the bedrooms. Gosh I am such a loving person! I should make more things for them! Right after these stairs!

“You ever feel a strange warmth after a while?” Nameless was exhausted, she was able to evade insane Twilight. Turns out, magic ain’t going to focus on a target if the user can’t even focus themselves.

“Yeah,” Twilight gives a heavy pant, now clear of mind and slowly realizing of her borderline foal abuse action. “I do.” Twilight felt her very core and hooves ache at the muscle. Too much action, even for one mare that saved the world twice.

“We really should get some exercise…” Nameless was faring much better, earth pony after all.

“Was thinking the same thing…” Twilight gave a heavy breath and stood up straight again. She read it in a book, it’s not good to sit, or lay down. Stand up straight and just breathe.

“Besides where are we? It doesn’t look like…” Nameless took a gander, yep, nothing she didn’t recognize, or know. “…a place we can afford.”

“It doesn’t look like any other architecture I’ve seen.” Twilight decided to pace around to let her muscles breathe as well. “The engraving on the table, even the bed read to me as Minotaur designs. Even a little griff in nature.”

“What? Are we in some other country that just kidnapped us?!” Nameless snapped, reaching for the door only to see the door knob as a circle instead of the usual hood handles. “Well that’s disappointing.”

“Perhaps, I don’t know how we got teleported here. Griffons and Minotaurs don’t have the magic to suddenly teleport anycreature from across the continent.” Twilight inspected the furniture further, they were a strange feeling. Something felt off. “Plus the furniture are entirely recreated by magic, they are permanent changes to the very being, but any good anti-spell can dispel these changes in a heartbeat.” Twilight continued to examine the furniture.

Nameless sighed and jumped up and got a grip on the doorknob, having to kick side to side to get the knob to twist and slowly open up due to her weight shifting the door. “Ha! Got ya! Uh, door!” Nameless let go of the doorknob and awkwardly waddled backwards to get back onto all fours. With a quick glance at Twilight, still inspecting the table she wandered off alone. A second away from her is a second spent well. “What does Anonymous see in her? I have some of his memories from his birth, something about not wanting to be a disappointment, or going too fast? Whatever, adults and their stupid romance…”

Nameless spent a moment walking down the hallway. It’s strange, she’s never seen this amount of extreme wealth, or abundance of gold in her life. Yet, yet earth pony instincts scream that the metals here aren’t gold.

Her journey took her to a throne room, empty as it was except for Anonynous in the corner doing something with his eyes. The neon green from his eyes and horn do not match his normally green eyes at all! They look so out of place.

“Hey. Whatcha dooin’?” Nameless looked up at her older brother’s visage, the bags under his eyes cannot be denied, he looks exhausted, but his eyes speak of boundless energy.

“Building extra tight security stairs.” Anonymous cursed yet again as he continued to make strange design, after strange. First was a trap door, then a cage at the end, next was implementing unalloyed gold but he remembered he can’t manifest that. So Nameless just watched in boredom.

It was neat watching stairs get lifted up then build back down like building blocks.

Eventually it got old, the sounds were not appealing. Too crunchy, not enough clicking.

“It looks fucking stupid dude. Just make normal stairs.” She broke the silence

“I-Wha?” Anonymous visibly flinched at her comment, breaking his concentration, and the stairs. Causing the stone masonry to crack and break once the magic rebuilding then was gone. “Ow! Jesus…” He rubbed his horn, burning at the edges. “How much magic did I spend? I was only here for…an hour at least. And I…” He took a look around. “I feel I’m no longer hearing my thoughts…”

“Eh, get used to it.” Nameless punched his shoulder, Anonymous simply rubbed the weak bruise he was given. “What were you doing anyway?”

“Remodeling this castle, why? Did I?” He paused for a moment. “Wait, did I bring you here?”

“Probably. Don’t know how you’re remodeling a castle…Twilight might now but she’s inspecting a table right now. Something about magic layers.”

“Like onions?”

“It’s only two layers, so like a potato? Is there a joke for this?”

“Unimportant.” Anonymous stood back up, horn feeling a lot lighter. “Whatever that magic book did, it fixed my mana issue. I think I just needed to swap settings for a moment.”

“Settings? Horns have settings?” Nameless tried to reach up to touch his horn. He shuttered and pushed her off. “Gross, it’s warm. Usually it’s cold when I touch it.”

“Incantations are so cool dude. Also don’t touch a dude’s horn, that’s actual sexual harassment in these parts.”

“Can I use one? The incantation, not the harassment.”

“Didn’t think you need to clarify but okay!” He took a step towards the hallway, he could feel Twilight’s energy from the other room. “Do you want to shoot fire from your hooves?”

“Yes?! Is that even a question you should be asking? It’s going to be yes.” Nameless followed behind.

“Cool. I think I remember a few. Gonna have to dip into my head for it though.”

“Oh. You just gave me an excellent idea of what to do to a certain…”

“Yeah going to ignore that. Just don’t kill anyone, don’t really care what you do honestly. Just don’t get hurt, or die.” Anonymous gently pat her on the head

“Bitch, you can revive me.” Nameless swatted away his hoof and pushed another into his chested stopping him in his tracks. “Just use that scroll or whatever, spellsheet.”

“That was a one time use scroll we used to make you.” Anonymous gently put her hoof down to the floor. Where he kept it near just in case she gets uppity again.

“Right…” Nameless sighed and looked down. A little self conscious about her mortality suddenly.

Anonymous wondered if it was just him, or did Nameless’ green fur suddenly flash white for a moment. It was similar to Second Heart, his first clone, but it wasn’t instant. He knew it could mean she’s slowly gaining more independence and a soul. Only leads to him wondering why Second Heart was
much faster at developing a soul. He thought it was the fact Nameless is a child whilst Second Heart was him, but from the Mirror Pool.

“How intriguing!” Twilight’s excitement cut off Anonymous’ thoughts.

“It seems this spell dates back to many centuries ago! Perhaps even longer if I could just find whoever casted this spell.” She was rubbing a now bare table, having removed the manifestation spell off of the furniture and inspected it closely. Having multiple scanning spells go off one by one.

“It was me!” It felt appropriate to yell out, unfortunately no sliding whisky for him to drink.

“What?” Twilight turned around to see Nameless and Anonymous.

“I did it like this!” Anonymous aimed his horn and shot the table. Causing Anonynous to fling himself backwards into the ceiling.

Twilight could only stare horrified at what he did. The scanning spells now wore off.

“What was a joke.” Only Namess gave a single ‘ha’, yes this is stupid.

“It was…” Nameless held in something in his mouth, maybe casting multiple spells of manifestation in a row isn’t good for the stomach. “Me. Still. I kinda messed around with a cool book I found.”

“A cool book?” Twilight immensity stopped caring about the table and got way too close for comfort to Anonymous, his instinct being to leak back.

“Yes. A very cool one. Inspiration Manifestion. Cool book, I lost it but all it was was an incantation.”

“So it’s just…an incantation? Did you use that to create all these things. Where are we anyway?” Twilight looked around and existed the bedroom.

“Some ruined castle in the Everfree. No idea what it is, just found a library, took some books, read one and made this place my home.”

“Anonymous…” Twilight was speaking low now, Anonymous now knew, he bucked up.

“Anonymous. This is the castle of the Two Sisters! The original home of Princess Celestia and Luna!” Twilight began to scold anonymous, who began to walk backwards away from her. Yet, Twilight pushed forward and kept staring at him. “This castle is officially recognized as property of the crown and you have decided to stake a claim in it? For what?”

“I uh…” Anonymous stammered. Cursing his brain for not letting him admit about wanting to move out.

Nameless snickered from the sidelines. Twilight is scary when she has a reason to be angry. Glad it’s now her this time.

“I shall see we clean this place up! Right now!” Twilight puts a hoof into Anonynous’s muzzle. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes.” Anonymous felt nothing but fear, and slight arousal at this treatment. He can’t explain why.

“Good!” She went back to her usual cheery self. It was all a ploy. To hang out with anonymous more! Those books Rarity recommended about romance were working!

Namless decided to take a step outside the castle to see nothing but derelict fog and, a moat that doesn’t have water outside. “Nope! I’ll just wait here with them.”

Nameless looked at the duo who are now casting an anti-spell to dispel the world Anonynous has created.

Anonymous felt odd, the magic that held his mind hostage went away now. It also felt like it took a piece of him away. Cursed incantations are never fun. Still, he has to visit his dreams now.

Also an excuse to mess with Luna. Could be fun, he hasn’t talked to her ever since the whole mind invasion incident. Eh, not the first time he’s been mind invaded, but he’ll take good care of an actual good Dream Wizard.

“Phew! Who knew cleaning an entire castle was that difficult. Makes me wonder how the maids do it.” Anonymous was slightly exhausted, sure his magic circulation seemed to be working now, but it was still the Everfree. Even he doesn’t know what magic he’s absorbing from this place.

“Yeah. They’re always so quick too! Celestia hasn’t told me their secrets yet, but I’m always betting on secret passageways.”

“Makes sense to me, most castles have secret passage ways so the diplomats and royalty can quickly escape when an invasion occurs.”

“Ah, makes sense to me. I wonder why I haven’t seen them….” twilight paused, then slowly a realization hit her. “She didn’t want me in there for studying! Of course!”

“You only study, and hang out with your friends. No one else enters the library unless it’s kids from that school.”

“Yeah, but…that’s fair.” Twilight looked a little down. Anonymous could only guess no one really visits her that much in Ponyville. Librarians aren’t popular here? Then that means less competitors. He doesn’t like what he’s thinking, but he’ll be fine. Sanity want his strongest characteristic.

“Learn anything this week?”

“Don’t read creepy books in creepy castles?”

“Close enough, I doubt I can put that into a letter.”

“Eh, Spike’s birthday will probably be more exciting. A lesson about sharing to bring back to generosity?”

“Are you trying to write and plan my friendship reports for me?”

“Maybe.”

Twilight could only softly chuckle and bump her barrel into his. “Oh you.”

“Yeah.” Anonymous chuckles, smiling clearly at the banter. “Maybe I can do you one better and plan your week.”

“Oh don’t you dare, I plan the week this week.”

“Don’t make me go and do your tasks you set out. I can knock them all out before you wake up.”

“Oh good luck, I organize my library in a-“

Nameless who has been following silently behind them didn’t respond with a gross face or anything mean. She was just happy, she couldn’t explain why.

She doesn’t know what these emotions mean, is it pride? For her brother/clone/father…no, her brother. She smiles because he doesn’t seem to be carrying a fake smile today. Her fur feels a little extra white again.

Author's Note

This was honestly a set up to swap to entirely third person.

Figured I’d get better at writing that style of story. Plus, leaves more room for characterization for the other nerds. Especially books.

Let me know if you want me to continue the change. Was testing the waters with Nameless for a bit, despite a few rough patches. I think I prefer writing in the third person.

The Moon?

“May you remember lost memories…” Anonymous silently hummed to himself. It was midnight, he was finding it increasingly difficult to sleep. He doesn’t know why he’s afraid of returning to the dream realm, but a minor horn cramp reminded him all the same.

“…May you find all you have lost…” He sighed, rotating his body off of the couch, making sure his steps are as silent as possible. He hasn’t felt this unease in a while. His mind ripping his ideas to shreds before he could present them properly. It sucks. The light pressure in his stomach doesn’t make it easy either.

“Luna has already looked in my head once…what’s stopping me from giving her a tour?…” He rests his head on the windowsill. Looking up at the moon in the sky, the stars seem so beautiful. A hypnotic dance of happiness and satisfaction fill his brain.

“The star…what was that one representing again?” He churned his brain again, before coming up with something reasonable. “May I find what I desire?…what do I want from this world now?”

He doesn’t know, he hasn’t had this sort of opening for self reflection for a while. He blames his ability to distract himself during the daylight hours, he blames his inability to properly sit down and talk about him. He blames the soul crushing realization that he might just die any moment, and continue on from this wonderful world.

“Huh…what do I want? My goal is to survive as long as I can, and this place has already reached the top four in terms of hours lived…usually it takes about 264 minutes to have me end up as a corpse. That happens a lot, but time goes by fast.” He stares at the moon longer, waiting for a response he can’t hear.

“You’re right. It’s just my head, at midnight. I shouldn’t even be listening to myself at this time. I should be listening to you, getting feedback from a person who lived just as long as I have. Twilight is great and all, but I feel I need someone I can relate too with my past…” He looks at the coffee table he has been using as his nightstand, the Nightmare Moon legend is upon a pile on the center.

“Because, I too know what it’s like to be taken away from home…” He decided to walk back over to the couch and lay down, pulling over a purple blanket over his body. “…it’s better to just find you. Cmon me, you can do this.” His eyes closed and his horn lit up. Slapping him in the face with a quick sleep spell.

“Here I am, back again.” The dremacaped hasn’t changed, it’s still the endless void of dreams and hopes. He should write a song about that, could sell well.

He shook his head of any ideas, or funny thoughts. Now’s the time for business. With a hopefully findable Princess. If she was in his head, he’d know. If she was nearby, he would also know. Every night, she grows larger in power as she continues her nightly duties. It’s very difficult to ignore her and suddenly start lucid dreaming when he’s sleeping normally.

“She’s probably in some sector deep within the dream scape. Probably somewhere down south, from maps I’ve seen Appleoosa as the only viable place she could be at right now, but I don’t know. That’s a bit far. It takes forever to travel through this slog…” He looks up north, Canterlot. Specifically, his eyes lock on to the protection bubble that broke his horn. He needs to ensure his magic doesn’t get broken, perhaps a part of him is inside her dreams now.

“I hate to be a bother Celestia, but I hope you don’t mind trauma dumping during your dreams!” He chuckles. Flying himself over there. Enjoying the freedom of flight, even in sleep, is exhilarating. “I need to figure out shapeshifting. Wings, and a horn?! Hell yeah.”

With his sudden halt causing an audible tire screech as he stops. Looking at the big blue bubble before him. “A bit chaotic in near her. Discord has definitely visited her…” He flies circles around it, unsure how to enter the dream. “Okay. So it’s probably by password…or something. What’s Celestia’s password…”

He lights up his horn and pokes the magic bubble, finding it stiff as always. “Let’s see if it reacts if I…” A transparent hand goes and knocks on the bubble, to test its heartiness. Still as sturdy as ever. “…” Hw stared at it. Still at a loss of what to do. “You know, I thought knocking would work. If I want a deep meaningful conversation, I might as well find someone who definitely won’t remember me…”

He looks around and sees a lone orb nearby where the Everfree should be, it’s not Zecora she’s close enough to Ponyville to be attached to it. Taking a quick hover over towards it, head dipping into the dream.

“BEHOLD! THE GRRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRIXIE!” A sudden expansion of flame throwers from the stage, a dapper mare in a purple cape and hat stood proud.

Anonymous ended up in a crowd of cheering fans. All calling out, “Trixie! Trixie! Trixie!” Anonymous couldn’t help but enjoy this dream. It was unique, a stage performer, a stage magician. “Wait a second, illusion magic! Just what I needed!” He called out, he found a practitioner of illusionary magic, in her dreams nonetheless! He knew her general location, just needed to find her. Back to the forest later then! No, if she’s in the Everfree then she must be a powerful Illusionist, he needed to get into talkings into a meeting with her.

This Great and Powerful Trixie casted a spell that woo’d the audience. It wasn’t very detailed, due to the nature of a dream. She must be focusing on the crowd, she’s probably shy in the real world and uses this to get some recognition for her talents! That must be it!

“Wait, didn’t I say I needed therapy today?….nah there’s always tomorrow.” Anonymous needed to talk to her, but how. If he just jumps on stage, he could startle her and wake her up. However, if he blended in well enough into her dream, maybe he could weave in a conversation. If Twilight’s daydream has taught him anything, is that Unicorns love a strong magic user. Is it wrong to shift a dream about pounding fame into romantic feelings? Frankly, yes.

Anonymous does not care, if he’s going to get illusion magic

“For Trrrrixie’s next trick! I need audience participation.” The mare on stage rolling her r’s like a real showman. (Showmare? Showpony? Showmare sounds better.)

“Oh that’s just perfect.” Anonymous mumbled raising his hoof in the air, the others did the same, now having to jump up and down to try to get any attention.

“Hmmmm. You! Green stallion!” She pointed at Anonymous, who seemed to be the most eager. “Come upon the stage! Trixie shall guide us to the perfect ensamble.”

“You mean ensemble?” Anonymous somehow ended up at the stairs, dreams are strange.

“T-Trixie knows what she’s saying!” Trixie pulled Anonymous over with her magic and placed him inside a box.

Anonymous felt excited, was he going to get cut in half? Rearranged? Get sent to the abyss and appear once the box opens up? He doesn’t know, and it’s exciting.

“Now! As he-“ He couldn’t hear Trixie anymore, now just mumbles as he’s in an empty space of the dream. There’s nothing for him to sit on, so he just floats there. Nothing to see so it’s just a swirling mass of Trixie’s blues and the purple of her clothing. It was nice, it was like looking at a screensaver.

“I miss phones. And computers…I can make one with Twilight…” He felt something shift in the dream. It suddenly stopped being happy. with a red aura encapsulating his being he is tossed up from the box into the wooden stage. “Ow…” He rubs his jaw, turning he saw Trixie, but with a new accessory. A red amulet upon her neck.

“Did Trixie hear the name of the mare who shamed her?!” She yelled, her voice booming as she stomped her hooves in the stage. The crowd began to boo Anonymous. “The mare who showed her up!” She stomped towards him, causing Anonymous to flinch. “The mare who ruined my career!” Stomp! “Took my home! My pride! My money!” With a final stink anonymous quickly scrambled back up to his hooves.

“You dare mutter her name in Trixie’s presence? Then dare to invade Trixie’s dreams?! Thank goodness this amulet lets Trixie know of any intruders!” She smiles, her eyes slowly growing a contrail of red. Anonymous could feel the power she exuded, this was perfect! “How do you plead!?” Her horn was once shined a bountiful purple aura, now a hateful red flicker shined through as she prepared a spell.

“Oh, well I guess I can skip the whole plan I had, anyway! I’m here to learn from the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Anonymous stood proud, smiling all the same.

“…Come again?” Trixie was suddenly stunned, unsure of what to say or do. “Did Trixie hear from you correctly? You want to learn? From Trixie?” Her horn slowly tunes down, the red flicker dying out.

Anonymous coughed as he readied himself to speak, “I mean. A powerful illusionist,” Trixie smiled as she heard that. “A great one as I can see,” Trixie couldn’t help but feel happier with these praises. “Plus, any good magician holds onto magical artifacts, I haven’t seen any others with one. So it must mean you’re strong enough to have one and keep it!” Anonymous can’t help but feel he fed an ego with how much Trixie is riding on his praises.

“Well, when you put it that way. Trixie shall oblige this request! However, be warned, only the most noble and dedicated of students must meet the Grrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie!” Trixie stood on her hind legs and let the fireworks go off around them. “In the Everfree forest, and at a fee of 60 bits per session.” She spoke that last part rather quickly.

Anonymous didn’t think about it, if he was going to learn illusions, he might as well do so as soon as he can. “Okay. Deal.”

“Perfect. Meet me at…” Trixie puts a hoof to her chin and chuckles mischievously. “That old ruined castle. Trixie can lead you to her camp if you bring the funds.”

“Fair enough. I’ll be there…uh…today? Tomorrow? Night time is weird. What time is it?”

“Trixie knows it’s…” They both pause as they stare at eachother. “Just meet Trixie when you wake up.”

“Fair enough, bye bye now.”

“Wait!” Trixie tried to grab me as Anonymous just woke up. Leaving her dreamworld.

“I’m going back! Hopefully, I don’t forget about it. It’s best to not be distracted this time!”

‘Am I being scammed? Probably. Will I learn Illusion magic? Yes, hopefully. Is it still night time?’ Anonymous turned to look outside at the window. ‘Yes, yes it is.’ He went back to sleep.

Author's Note

A magic duel won’t happen, due to unsavory consequences of Trixie’s ego.

The Underworld

Anonymous has just arrived in this new section of land. He hasn’t been this far out from Ponyville ever, it was exhilarating being this far. Yet also terrifying. If he ever finds an exit, he has no map to tell him where to go. The best he could rely on is a town nearby this hellscape.

IF there even is an exit. Which is difficult to determine, the whole place is a scattered mess of mountainous blue rocks carrying cages of azure color.

Anon groans outwardly, his face falling at every turn he makes. The monsters don’t seem to mind him, they just stare at him, or tell him to leave if they could speak. He saw a scant few ponies around. The ponies usually were insane, bashing their heads against the cages and telling anon various descriptions of his demise.

His favorite so far is having his insides turned inside out and his organs being used as a meat toboggan. A certain smugness came over him, should’ve been a meat bicycle.

Anon’s trek friend him at deep recluse part of Tartarus. The foot of the tall mountains that surround him, exhausted from walking. “This place definitely has a lot of stairs.” His magic heals his body faster than he could exhaust it, the odd balance of exercise and healing kept him from stopping. “I’m probably in hell. It would fit.”

The bottom didn’t have much, just some caves and holes. That looked artificially made into the mountains. A peak into the holes revealed an odd blue crystal at the base of these mountains. Anon could only suspect they were a magic suppression system. As he feels absolutely nothing from the gems.

The way Magic suppression usually works could be one of two things, they cut off the ability to emit magic, or forcefully eject magic from a body’s mana pool. Since he’s absorbing magic at an alarming right, his assumption is the latter.

Deciding to crawl into the hole and walk over to the crystal. It was certainly neat, pillars held the rock in the center, a magic circle surrounded the base of the system, and a magic glow of a harsh blue was a sign that it was activated.

As a hoof extended to touch the crystal, he heard a howl from above, the sound emitting a strong energy at the source. The magic surging through his body, blacking out his vision, then he found himself back in front of Cerberus.

“Oh hey. I’m back here. Bit rude innit? What was the point of trying to leave if you’re going to bring me back here?” Anon laments as the three headed dog just growled at him. Each head keeping a close watch on him.

“Right. Should make this easier on the both of us.” He grumbles and lights his horn. “Talk to Animals” The magic slapped him cross the face, the potency of the magic he’s absorbing accidentally causing an injury. It healed soon after.

“Pony Visitor.” Cerberus spoke, his voice deep and holding authority. “What brings you to this prison?”

“Prison?” He looks at the cages again, somehow there were more behind him. He didn’t know how he didn’t see them the first time. “Yeah it seems to look like it…”

“Answer the question, Pony.” A huff from his nose caused Anonymous’ body to shiver. It was cold, too cold for Cerberus.

“Well. I tried to pay my mentor, she must’ve saw my wormhole spell, then she tried to copy and, now I’m here.” He steps back on instinct.

“You have performed the explanation as to why you’re. Now we must ask about the crime you have committed.”

“What…” Anon was a little stunned, to his knowledge, he hasn’t committed any crimes. Unless…

“The attempted tampering of private equipment for the Tartarus Holding Cell Company.” With another howl from the dog emits a file drawer from the ground, with one of the heads biting the handle and pulling out a file. “As of according to section 504-3, any creature attempting to move, displace, or touch a property item of Tartarus, will be placed under arrest.”

“Oh god, this is hell. The dog is a fucking bureaucrat!” He knows of Tartarus, it’s been a fun location to visit when he can just go there without dying. The smell of lava and fire gets old quickly after the 16th version of hell. Yet, this is worse.

Anonymous quickly tried to turn to run, but one of the heads grabbed his tail and lifted him into the air. “…Mercy?” Anonymous chuckled, hes not going to attempt to fight an emissary of hell. That didn’t work the last time he did.

“Another rule violated. Section 595, any creature attempting to run, escape, or evade punishment gets an extra time to their sentence.” The dog’s head flung Anonynous up to the top of the mountain it was guarding and slammed his way into a cage. His back aching at the cold metal bars.

“Ow…” He straightens out his back, expecting for himself to heal. Nothing came.

“Welp. Fuck. I’m stuck in that god damn anti-magic field.” Anonymous slumps down and scratches his hoof at the bottom of the cage.

“I am very aware pony. Not even I can absorb anything from here.” An old voice was to his right, with a turn to his head he saw a ragged black cloak cover a shivering body. Every breath emitting a fine cold mist.

“Yeah. Neither can I, that dog is a very annoying Bureaucrat. I just know he’s going to skip on doing paperwork just to ensure our suffering.”

“I would know, he’s been guarding my cell for many centuries.” The voice still spoke slowly, even as the figure turned to face Anonymous, he couldn’t see his face.

“Cool. Cool. Just got here,” his hoof pressed against his chest as he bowed, “Anonymous.”

“I am also Anonymous, to you.” The cloaked figure bowed in imitation.

“Eh, fair enough.” He sits down as he stares at the cloaked figure. He doesn’t feel weak per se, just powerless. His magic absorption isn’t helping either as the little magic he gets lingers then washes away. “So who are you really?”

“You haven’t heard the tale?” A deep breath escapes the creature’s mouth. “Of the creature who almost conquered Equestria.”

“You have any idea how little that narrows it down?”

“The one where the creature gets betrayed.”

“That’s seven! Get more specific.”

“…he specializes in Magic absorption.”

“I haven’t gotten around to that yet.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“Then beg.”

“…”

“…”

“So I am-“

“Don’t care, I’m breaking out now.” Anonymous stands up, his eyes started to look at the bars of his prison, they weren’t just but some sort of concrete with steel rebar. Hard to break, but easily broken with a different type of tension.

“Don’t try to do that, foolish one. For even I can’t allude the guard’s gaze.” His voice is annoyed, strained even. He is tired of Anon’s shit.

“Cool. Cool. Don’t care, I got this.” Anon kept trying to twist the bars apart, but couldn’t get the grip strength. His hooves flying off and unable to grip the bars.

“I failed miserably on multiple attempts. Your best boon is to have the guard distracted.” The cloaked figure sits down, if anything he’s going to enjoy watching Anon struggle to open a lock without magic.

“Too long. Just gotta hoof it from the Magic nullification area and keep moving.” He decided to turn around and lift up his hind legs, giving the door a hard buck. All he got was strained legs and pained hooves.

“I see you are aware of that. The guard has a special type of magic to keep you in place. It’ll be difficult to escape through sheer force.” The figure chuckled at Anon’s misfortune.

“The howl? Uhhh. I got a plan dude. I got this.” Anon needed a way to keep magic in him, the little he’s getting from his magic absorbing should be enough to shoot a beam at the kick.

“You clearly don’t have a plan. Your struggle is amusing, but I shall see another corpse lay before me before you-“ Anonymous shoots a beam at the lock using what little he has in the tank. “Oh? Intriguing…” The creature smiles underneath the shadow that covers his face. “How about this, little pony.”

“Anonymous, I’m Anonynous.” Another strained beam towards the lock of the box. This time a left a hole in the blue concrete.

“Ponies and your annoying names,” the figure ahems, clearing his throat and continues, “Anonymous, I believe we could be vast here. Our ability to absorb magic is what led us to this predicament. With our abilities combined, we could be unstoppable.”

“Cool. Cool. I’ll accept if you can find my mentor. She’s a much stronger Unicorn than me if she can just open a portal to hell?” Anonymous was internally thrilled at having a party member for once. It’s been so long since he was the leader of one.

“Oh? Sounds like a good beginning for us.” The figure laughs, almost sinking into maniacal laughter before he stops by clearing his throat. “Apologies. Force of habit.”

“It’s all good. Just give me time, I’m working with very little here.” Anonymous shoots another weak beam at the lock, finally chipping the last of the concrete and is met with a metal wall. “Guys, the thermal drill, go get it!” He had to start shooting heat beams towards the lock, which is marginally more taxing, but little by little he’ll get through.

“Quiet down! The guard will hear you, there’s no telling what he would do to you, if you are caught attempting to break out.”

“Don’t worry. I’m very good at fighting.”

“Doubtful, your scrawny appearance, even for a pony, doesn’t scream fighter.” The voice chastises him.

“Ouch, way to make a guy feel self conscious…” He continues his beam in silence. Now his thoughts linger on needing to bulk up, like that captain in Canterlot. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Author's Note

Gonna have to rewatch season 4 for Tirek personality relearning

Hell Hound

“How long will this take?” The cloaked figure was bored out of his mind. Anonymous has been shooting that weak beam of thermal energy into that lock for what feels like hours, when really it’s only been 9 minutes. It’s long enough for a B-Story that won’t be covered.

“The drill is a piece of shit. Yet, it’s working. I’d give it a few seconds, an extra forty if I have to recharge.” Anonymous was sweating, not because of his exhaustion, but due to the heat he was generating on his horn. He internally thanks himself that he read that book on fire magic when he first got here.

“Foul language doesn’t conquer Equestria little pony.”

“Cool, are you going to say anything productive, like any strategy, how to get out of here, or even light conversation?”

“Fine! I know where the exit is, Cerberus always takes the same route to leave outside to do his business, the strategy for him is to evade his gaze a howl from him could bring us back to his clutches.” The cloaked figure is tired of waiting, the patience was already lost within. He’s so close to finally leaving this place.

“Well, I’m sure that’ll be fine. If we go together, then it’s an alliance.” He shoots an extra beam and finally melts the lock, with a kick he forced the door to the cage to swing open. The cloaked figure is pleased with this result, finally getting off the ground and to stand at his door’s cage. Anonymous quickly takes a peek at Cerberus, the dog licking its own crotch. “How does that count as mastur—I should shut up.”

“Quickly little pony. We don’t have much time.” The cloaked figure revealed its arms, the bony red arms finally extend themselves. With his yellow eyes peering from the darkness of his hood. Anonymous doesn’t mind this actually, it’s interesting.

“Got it. This should be easier from this way.” With Anonymous peering the lock, he jammed his horn inside the hole and gave it a beam of fire towards the lock’s innards himself. He quickly retreated his horn back and watched as the new party member pushed the door open.

“Excellent.” The new cloaked figure stretched his legs. The old bones crack and pop back into place, a deep groan escapes the old man. “Perhaps there are good ponies around.”

Anonymous flinched at the comment. “Sounds very racist. Alright.”

Anonymous earned was a very eager ‘hmm?’ from his new friend. “You’ve seen it before haven’t you? You didn’t call it creaturism, or anti-friendship rhetoric. You’ve been around more than just Equestria.” He speaks with slightly more respect, a hand against his chin, his body leaning in to inspect Anonymous

“Yeah? I’ve been around.” Anonymous takes a step back from this impromptu inspection. “So should we get going, or are we here to explain terms? It’s only a matter of time before Cerberus turns around.”

“It’s simple. He never inspects our cages, so long as we are patient. He…” He shows down his speech as he watches Anonymous walks towards the stairs. His arm stretched and snatches Anonymous’s tail. “You fool! You can’t handle the beast up front!”

“Shut up. I know how to fight.” Anonymous pulls his tail out of his hands, the weak grip letting him go. He doesn’t bother to turn to face the figure.

“This isn’t about fighting! Cerberus can will you back to his location and toss you in!” His voice is growing more furious.

“Oh cool, I can absorb that. Just have to time it.”

“You can what?” His anger died down suddenly, a shift in his eyes signify interested.

“Absorb magic, why?”

“Interesting…go on.” He pats Anonymous on the back, he walks forward automatically again. Anonymous still has no clue why he does that.

With Anonymous looking down the stairs, he dips a hoof to touch the first step. Immediately he felt Magic absorb into the hoof exposed and attempt to flow into his body, however it was cut off by the main platform of the mountain. “Rejection field. Interesting…” He ponders, ’this was specifically designed to prevent magic from being used, or absorbed. This guy behind me did say he can absorb magic, how did Cerberus know to place me here? I didn’t expose any of my magic absorption ability, unless he knows something.’

Anonymous lets his entire body out of the top of the mountain. His body takes the intense magic in the air and made him shiver slightly. The tingling sensation of magic entering his body after not being able to absorb properly was not something he’s used to. It feels good to him. It’s a high he can’t chase.

Cerberus’s tail twitched and turned around to face Anonymous barking at him. Anonymous didn’t need to know what he’s saying to get the gist of it. They are going to throw down.

It’s been a while since Anonymous had a proper fight. He stretched his limbs out and cracked his neck before lowering his upper torso, his hooves sliding across the rock on the ground.

Cerberus howls the three heads aimed sky high, a wave of magic emits from its mouth. Anonymous was prepared for this and had to manually kick his absorption up a notch, letting the wave of magic slide into his body. It was invigorating, the magic of pony hell was blue flavored oddly enough.

With a huff anonymous kept walking down the stairs. Cerberus kept howling, Anonymous kept absorbing the magic being flung at him. Anonymous could risk a jump in, but he has to play the neutral. His hooves stay on the ground to prevent any unsafe movement that can be punished swiftly.

Cerberus began to open its middle head’s mouth wide open, a swirling mass of orange energy began to form. The form growing bigger with each bark the offset heads did, almost as if they were contributing to the magic.

Anonymous smiled and did what any sane person would do, run straight at Cerberus. His hooves kicking the side of the stairs and lunching him down them at an alarming rate.

With a bark from the middle head, a beam of energy flew straight towards Anonymous, but he had a plan. Anonymous howled, forcing the beam of energy to be displaced. Now instead of a beam heading towards Anonymous, it was facing towards Cerberus and blasting the dog with its own energy beam. The dog got pushed a considerable distance away, now standing just a few inches away from a drop. The dog barks aggressively at Anon.

“Oh? Didn’t like I used your own spell against you? It was weird having to Howl again…” Anonymous’ wasn’t sure if he was talking to the dog or himself. He didn’t care, he needed to let something out. “Polymorph was a fun spell you know?” Anonymous smiles, good memories flood him as he finally makes it to even ground against the guardian. “I wonder if Polymorph works with this body, but that’s for later.”

The dog barks confused at him. Yet, began to charge at him. The idea is to use its large size to pressure Anonymous. With a lunge the dog jumped to close the distance. Anonymous looked, unamused as he just grabbed Cerberus out of the air with his telekinesis. The flailing and barking of the dog to prevent the hold on his body were proven useless, as his limbs were eventually caught and held in place.

“Now normally I wouldn’t be able to lift you, but considering this place is full of magic. Perhaps it was a mistake to let magic reject crystals lie around everywhere, because now all that magic,” He stands up on his hind legs, positioning his leg forward and pulling his foreleg to reel back. “Is going to me.” He twists his hips and focused magic into his hoof. It’s been a while since he got to do some monk stuff, why not test it on the hell dog?

He steps forward and lets his hoof make contact with Cerberus’ chest, causing the creature to fall down to the dirt and get locked in place. The limbs of the creature being held down by bands of magic. “There we go.” He hates to do it, but the spell also included a muzzle to prevent Cerberus from barking. It was their method to casting magic, so it’s best to be safe.

“Excellent my friend. Now, we have Tartarus to escape from. Now if you don’t mind.” The cloaked figure gripped Cerberus’ middle head, and lifted it up to face him. “You’ve been a thorn in my side for long enough.” His voice is angry, too angry. It made Anonymous slightly uncomfortable.

“So what are you gonna—“ Anonymous stopped talking as soon as he heard screams of terror. Cerberus’ magic was slowly streaming out of him. It went straight into his friend’s mouth, the once frail body of the cloaked figure slowly growing with life. Their once frail arms began to grow muscle, the upper torso was beefed up, and even the horse parts lost their gray and began to show a pure black coat.

“Haha. I am back!” The cloaked figure’s cloak began to rip apart. The figure behind the cloak ripped it off and showed his entirety. Anonymous looked at Cerberus and saw only a small black pit bull was leftover from the magic being absorbed. The troubling part is that Cerberus had no more magic, or at least had a silence spell placed upon him. Anxiety filling his body. He should’ve payed more attention to the mythos here. Anonymous slowly realized he made an alliance with someone dangerous.

Someone who can both force your body to reject magic and keep it that way. Someone who can physically alter their appearance with magic. Someone who can probably keep an infinite supply of power.

That someone…

Is Tirek.

Author's Note

I wanted to put explanations for Magic, because god damn I love making magic systems.

But the explanation breaks the flow of the story currently. So it’s here in the author’s notes.

The two types of anti-magic were as follows, Rejection Fields and Silence Fields. Rejection forces the magic out of a body, it can’t be learned by a normal wizard so it must be attuned via a crystal, or a magic item. Rejection is not perfect, it only actively rejects magic if it can detect a set amount of magic.

Silence cuts off the exhaust of magic, it can be learned, but can be broken through sufficient force. It can still be attuned to magic items, but its effect is stronger when used by a competent mage.

I need to work on making my action sequences a little better. I’ll figure it out eventually.

The Blue Sky Is More Beautiful Then Ever

“Sooo…You’re Tirek. The guy who got betrayed by his brother, and now you’re on a revenge binge to overthrow the sisters?” Anonymous twirls his hooves around, trying to make sense of his unsurprising new friend. For the moment Anonymous can only look up at Tirek, a centaur isn’t what he had in mind for a party member, though he is jealous. Hands are a commodity he wishes he had.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had this opportunity.” Tirek looked at Anonymous with contempt, even he can sense it. The infinite energy Anonymous was absorbing. It was enticing. Tirek had to get that passive absorption for himself. However, due to only having the magic of Cerberus in his body, and Anonymous’s previous display against Cerberus. He’ll need to wait.

“I’d assume so, can’t tell you how many times I’d wanted to overthrow a monarchy. Though, they haven’t wronged me yet, besides Luna.” He grumbles the last part.

“How did Princess Luna wrong you?” Tirek was intrigued by this.

“Shift through my memories, not very kind of her to be honest.”

“Of course, a pony cannot help but sneak into every crevice that isn’t theirs!”

“Ha.” Anonymous laughs, he always found racism in other worlds humorous to him. He doesn’t know why, just something about it tickles that very specific spot in his brain to toggle violence. He has played too much Warhammer. “Casual racism again, I wonder if there’s competitive racism here.” Somewhere someone at a school board sneezed.

“This is no laughing matter, we need to exit Tartarus.” Tirek walks past Anonynous, his stomping hooves and newfound height felt towering for the poor Anonynous.

“Yeah. You go do that, I’m still looking for my mentor.” As Anonymous tries to walk deeper into Tartarus, he felt something grab his tail and drag him. “Ow! Hey!” Anonymous swings his hind hooves but found them suspended in the air. This isn’t a good position to be in!

“Leave your mentor. If they’re mentoring you, they must know their way around Tartarus.” Tirek drags Anonynous behind him, since he knows the way to the exit due to watching Cerberus’s guard patterns.

“I mean, yeah, still want to learn Illusion Magic…” Anonymous goes slack, deciding to just go with the flow.

Tirek looked at the stallion being dragged behind him with a disapproving glance. “Illusions are nothing more but a cowards way of fighting. You should build on what you already know colt.”

Anonynous paused, staring at the receding mountains before turning his head to face Tirek, “Cool. Cool. Still looking for her.”

“Then find your mentor. Just know this pony, I’m only sparing you for securing my freedom.” Triek turned away dropping the pony on the dirt as he proceeded to leave. Anonymous grumbled as he wiped his chest clean of blue dirt and rocks. As he turned around Tirek was gone, leaving Anonymous alone in this labyrinth of blue rocky roads and cliff faces.

“Fuck…this really is hell. Should’ve just…nah. Shoulda coulda woulda, just move on me.” Anonymous straightens his back and took a direction to march in. His thoughts swirl as he was left to his own devices.

“Hell…Tartarus…the Nether…The Shadow Realm.” He lists off places and got gears turning. “Wait a second. I need some lava!” He quickly sprints off deeper into Tartarus. This should work, it worked in another world.

“UGH! This is the worst!” Trixie yells in frustration, her cape was now muddy and dirty. The hat she wore was now bent and covered in mud. She didn’t end up in Tartarus at least, merely landing herself outside the gate to the portal. Her new ‘apprentice’ Anonynous flew straight through the portal into the gates. Transporting him to only Celestia knows where. “Trixie finally gets a chance to make real money! And what does Trixie do! She messes up!” Her face grows more red as tears slowly form at the edges of her eyes, looking down at the Amulet she bought in Canterlot. It works, yes, but she always feels angry, upset, and always thinking of swindling ponies. She spent her entire allowance on it, the Rock Family weren’t very good paying ponies, but it gave her enough funds to return to Canterlot. “Now how will Trixie get her home back! Ponyville is keeping Trixie’s cart and now…now…” She stops, her angry slowly dies down. Her thoughts finally calm.

She turns to the dark mountains of Tartarus and heaves, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Trixie is better than this…” She takes off the amulet and slides it into her saddle bag. The only thing she has left of her old home. “…if I want to beat Twilight Sparkle in a duel, then I need to learn new spells…without the amulet. Then put the amulet back on and use the spells.” She shakes her head, standing proud. Her bravado returning in stride. “A limitation Trixie will have to work around!” Her confidence shines, a smile on her face. With her emotions satiated, and free from the influence from the amulet. She lets her walk to the nearest village be in introspection.

“Obsidian is weird.” He continued to force chunks of obsidian into one meter cubes and placing them into a rectangle formation. The good ol’ 4 by 5 frame was stable. He had to use plenty of magic to keep it together. “How did I get this lava and why is the lava blue? I’d say the sky is blue but…it’s black.”

He is tired of living in a blue world. It’s all blue, too much blue, there’s a clue here but there’s no blue dog named blue to help him blow through a blue’s clue. Blue.

“I have an urge to sing…” Anonymous mutters himself as he shoots a blue fire onto the obsidian and it creates a purple shimmering mess. “Oh hey, it works here. How creative, or maybe it works off belief of whatever.”

He quickly climbs on and stared at a wall, seeing his vision swirls and cloud with purple energy. “It’s a good thing I haven’t eaten anything yet, otherwise I’d throw up my lunch.” With a smile he felt his body teleport somewhere.

The portal dropped Anonymous in a pleasant valley. With the stallion flung down into a bed of grass. It was oddly comfy as he shifted to his back. Looking up at the sky. The blue sky never looked so beautiful.

Author's Note

Can’t leave Trixie out of this.

As for Tirek.

Help.

I ran out of ideas. I was originally going to set up a fight, but that is too soon. So, I’ll just let him be. He’s out, and waiting.

Besides, I still need a chest, he’s still going to be found by Rare Find eventually. Then suck him dry. Take that as you will.

Anyway, it’s time for a trip across Equestria to get back home. Twilight won’t miss him, too much. Hopefully.

I wonder who I should make him encounter…

A rocky farming home?
An equal opportunity village?
Or somewhere else?

I dunno, need some help.

Rocks.

Anonymous was walking down…nowhere, he picked a direction and began to walk. He’s in a middle of a grassy field just moving forward. Due to his distance from Ponyville he couldn’t teleport directly too there, and even if he did the ambient magic found out here meant that he wouldn’t have a second shot if he went into somewhere dangerous. Like Tartarus again.

Yet the grassy fields slowly change, green pastures slowly melded down into a grey dull quarry. His legs were finally aching at the hooves. His body felt like it was being beat down from the heat of the sun. It sucked to put it lightly. “How the fuck did it get hotter as soon as I got here?!”

His voice was hard by no one as the cold wind brushed his already sweaty body. “And it’s windy…am I near a cave?” His question was answered as soon as he looked over to the left, it was a quarry. A giant hole in the ground in a spiral formation for harvesting and collecting minerals for mining. Either that or it’s just a neat hole. Anonymous was standing just at the edge of a sudden drop to the quarry. He took a step back and used his magic to slide down the wall to land himself on the flat ground.

Anonymous looked down at the mine below as he walked up the path, heading towards the only exit to the quarry. “Good start. If there’s a mine, there’s a path to any sort of civilization, mining communities most likely. No Dwarves as far as I saw in this world so probably Earth Ponies manage this place. I hope they’re not racist like Dwarves, but I’ll take what I can get.” Not very good memories with Dwarves, well that’s before he got drunk with the Dwarves. It becomes ‘blood brothers for life’ and the ‘mine is our paradise and home’. A bunch of nonsense that he falls for every time. Though he hates elves though, they suck.

Anonymous stops himself as he looks at a sign. “Welcome to Rockville,” He reads out loud, “Population…Pie…” His head tilts at the latter half, it was a poorly drawn image of a pie nailed on the sign. He lifts up the piece of paper and saw the population was small, only five residents. “It’ll do. Family community most likely, a married family who won’t stop making kids and they had a population big enough to become a village technically, or everyone moved out. Though they have a mine. Miner family?”

He talked past the sign, on his new journey he walked past a couple of rocks littered on the ground, the ground was covered in a thin layer of dirt but clearly was over from a wonderful gray quarry extending this far out. A fence post along the path reminded him that this was probably someone’s land. He didn’t want to test Earth Pony strength firsthand yet.

“Rocks…more rocks.” He looks over the land and noticed a single windmill in the center of this patch of land, running down wires that bump out of the ground and into a house. “At least they have electricity, unless that just grinds rocks. I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.” He was approaching a nearby entrance to the farm, just an opening at fence with another sign. Pie Family Rock Farm. “Huh…rocks…I wonder if there’s a turd farm. Lot of money in turds.”

With nothing left to lose he approached the house, deciding to slowly knock on the door. “Howdy there partner!” A redneck tone of voice rung out to him. His head quickly darts to the left him to see what spoke to him. “Down here buddy!”

Anonymous looked down to see a rock. Not even that it’s more of a pebble just placed on the railing of the porch. “What the fuck…” Anonymous slowly muttered as he stared down at the pebble. He could feel a magic signature in the mineral friend, but he can’t absorb anything from it. Must be because it’s a rock.

“Names Boulder! I hope ya don’t mind me askin’ but what in Celestia’s green pastures is a stringy fella like you doing here?” The rock doesn’t even move, Anonymous had to bring up the stone to his ear to even hear him better.

“I’m Anonymous, uh, are you real?”

“As real as I’d ever be! Hell, it’s nice to finally meat another pony who can understand my persuasion.”

“Another?”

“Correct-o my friend-o, my best buddy Maud takes care of little ol’ me. She’s such a sweetheart she is she is.”

“I feel I should know who that is, but I’m oddly hungry for a Mud Pie…or anything really. I haven’t eaten in a few days.” Anonymous felt his stomach rumble the stocked up magic from Tartarus isn’t going to last for much longer.

“Now dontcha get your little head in a twist. We got tons of things for ya—oh hey Maud!”

“Maud? Who was—“ He turned his head to the right and saw a grey mare stare at him with a blank expression. “Oh Jesus!” He flinched at the sudden friend beside him, almost dropping Boulder from his grasp. He didn’t even feel her!

“Hello. Could you please give Boulder to me?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Sure.” He slowly hands over Boulder to who he can only assume is Maud and give her the rock.

She brought the rock to her ear. He could hear whispers of something.

“So Boulder says you can be trusted. Can you please follow me? With a unicorn we could lessen up our work hours to just a few less hours.” Her voice was almost monotone, slow and tedious but every word given a chance to be heard and spoken.

“Very helpful. I guess. Wait, can I get food after or before working?”

“After. It’s only an hour to lunch.”

“Great. Great. I’m Anonymous.” He held out his hoof in hopes for a greeting

“Maud.” With a curt nod she shook his hoof as well, even her shaking his hoof felt static. It was odd.

“I guess I’m working on a rock farm?”

“Correct. We are harvesting granite today for an order. A pony apparently broke the gate to Tartarus and the groundskeeper has approached us to supply material.” Maud let go and began to walk down the path exiting her home. Anonymous had to follow behind her. Working on a rock farm should be…fun? The children and by extension, Anonymous yearn for the mines.

Author's Note

Behold! Rocks!

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. I got into FFXIV. Should be pretty obvious where I went with my free time.

Sorry for the short chapter.

Forest of the Free Forever

This Everfree…thou shall be tamed! If my name isn’t Anonymous, you shall be brought down to earth and fall underneath my rule.

“Hey. Twilight?” Celestia hasn’t granted us a grant; it’s been just grand without the grand payment for my hiring, but she did start giving me a stipend once I told Twilight my chronic jobless status. Now, I just got a Royal stipend. Apparently, those are put in place for Ponies with ambiguous cutie marks who cannot get a job.

“Yeah?” Me and Twilight, we're cool now. She gets to keep her name in my mind now. We’re just two mad scientists staring at some parchment when lines go up and down. It's like one of those devices detecting earthquakes, but this just detects magical pressure.

“What’s the story of the forest there? I remember having to circle the thing just to get here.”

“The Everfree? It's a place where nature goes on its own. The trees grow by themselves, the animals do things by themselves, and the weather changes by itself.”

“Huh. Neat. Doesn't sound too dangerous?” Are these ponies such control freaks that once something is out of their control, it's automatically bad?

“No, but there's monsters living in that forest, ti-”

“Hold that thought, Twilight. I’m going in.” Cutting her off, I quickly take some crystals from behind Twilight and head upstairs.

“Wait! Anonymous! You can't! It's too dangerous!” Twilight rushes after me, taking off her nerd glasses as she gives chase.

“Unfortunately, Twilight. I feel a previous life come to me. The spirit of that soul rings deep in my heart.”

“Say what?”

“I am a Monster Hunter! I shall fight the beasts who dare defy nature!” On my way through the library, I looked at the crystals that I had taken. I could fashion a very rudimentary flamethrower with the instruction of the fire magic. It'll be like using a hair spray bottle with a lighter, but it will still get the job done.

“What?!” Twilight clearly had enough of my shit. I, however, haven't given enough.

“Don't stop me, Twilight. Adventure calls!” I sprinted off into the distance, heading straight towards the Everfree Forest.

“Wait! Come back!” Twilight may have wanted to stop her new friend Anonymous, but she knows she can't stop a stallion on a mission. Boys, am I right?

Man, this town feels a lot bigger once you're settling yourself down. It's probably due to perspective, but what do I know?

Stopping myself at the edge of this forest, I can see trees lining the border, with bushes held high to prevent anything from wandering in. Upon closer inspection, the bushes have thorns.

Keeping myself on the edge, following the path, I eventually found myself at some cottage all the way out here. Birdhouses line the trees of the Everfree, housing various birds.

“Natives! I can do this.” Using a small spell on myself, I cast Speak To Animals. I'll have to do this spell again in about 10 minutes if more animals are around.

“Helloooo?” I asked out loud, best to see what was happening.

“Great… Fluttershy has a new guest.” I hear a very disgruntled bird talk as he exits his birdhouse.

“No idea who Fluttershy is, but I'm willing to learn.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Hold you…hold my horses, actually. How are you talking to me?” The bird looks up at me. It's so weird talking to animals. They haven't figured out facial expressions yet.

“Magic.”

“Course horn heads figured that out.”

“Nah, don't worry, only I figured it out so far. I think.”

“Good. Good. I don't need everyone and their families to talk to me. I just want Fluttershy, you hear?”

“Not here to see this Fluttershy. I'm planning on entering the forest.”

“Are you stupid, or do you have a death wish?”

“Yes.”

“…just go down the path that leads into the forest, and for the love of Boreas, talk to the zebra there. She talks funny, but I’d rather not have Fluttershy traumatized at a corpse.”

“Thanks, dude.”

“My name is Mr. Jay, and I’d rather you speak to me that way rather than dude.”

“Alright. Thanks, Mr. Jay.”

With the information gathered, I took off into the forest, following the path into the place.

Mr. Jay has had enough and went back indoors.

“I wonder if I could sing a song…if I had a guitar on me, I could do something catchy.” My path into the forest has been a long one. The place does feel different from everywhere else. I sense no magic in the air, nor do I think of anything nearby. I can't tell if this place automatically shuts down my magic absorption or if there's nothing around me.

With the dark, dank forest around me, I kept my eye out for any danger that could harm me. I had no plans for this place. I wanted to fight a monster and then leave. Possibly strip said monster of the parts, then make something funny. A giant sword made from it will do.

With a new mission sent, I found myself before a wooden hut that was deeply carved into a tree. It must be where that Zebra lives. With a knock on the door, I decided to wait. Then, the door opened to greet me with a Zebra.

“It's nice to meet a new face. What brings you to my place?” Hey, that rhymed. Neat! Plus, she seems like a neat tribe member. I wonder what she's doing in the forest.

“A little birdie told me I should visit you before venturing deeper into the forest.” I wonder if I should copy her. Imitation is the best form of flattery, after all.

“What that bird said is true. I shall give information to you.” Is she doing the limerick again? Odd.

“Yeah. Just looking to see what creatures live in the forest before I go explore.” I'm going to hide my poaching practices. I don’t know the rules of poaching here, but I'll be the reason as to why there's a poaching law now.

“Well, there are Timberwolves, Ursas, and Manticores. However, I recommend you find some tools before you explore.” Is rhyming her gimmick? It's an odd one, but if you live alone out here, then it probably does something to your head.

“Don’t worry about that. I got this.”

“I know stallions are bold and strong, but I never seen one who could be more wrong. You'd sooner hurt yourself in the Everfree. So, for goodness sake, go back and be.” What’s with everyone fearing this place? It doesn't seem that bad.

“Still, don't worry. I got this.” I’ll just solve this whole issue by running away, so I turned tail and ran. My destination was to find one of these monsters and end its miserable existence!

The Zebra didn't stop me, so I kept going deeper and deeper. The forest’s path was a short one, as in it just stopped at some point, and I'm now marching through some grass. It's a decently big forest, probably a large area within the tree line. I wonder if anyone has correctly mapped the place.

Most likely not, but I do hear some rustling nearby. Thanks, predator-adverse evolution. It helps with hunting for some particular reason. Peeking my head through the thistle, I found it. A wolf made out of wood with green eyes of gross color stares down at me. My magic is detecting life with him, and now that I know I can passively absorb magic from him, I can easily work with this.

With a bark, he jumped to lunge at me. I just hopped to the side and watched him use one of his paws to catch himself and swing his upper body in my direction. A seasoned predator, I see. It continues to bark at me, trying to intimidate me. However, due to my stupidity, I won't be deterred!

A light of my horn causes the creature to lunge at me again, no doubt part of its instinct. I assume the animals here are used to magic, so they attack the caster first. Clever, but not smart enough.

I caught the creature in the air with my magic and smashed it against a nearby tree. I can grab other dudes with magic; it just takes a lot of energy to hold constantly, so I just throw them.

The timberwolf’s back snapped open upon contact with the tree. I saw something hidden within. The mana source is the thing that brings the wolf life. It's an object that is shaped like a heart, only instead of pumping blood, it’s raw magic. Suppose I can take that and bring it back to Twilight. Imagine the possibilities!

“Magic Missile,” I mutter. I should take advantage of the creature while it’s down. The three magic blasts form from my horn, launching into the air and crashing down onto the Timberwolf. Blasting off two of the legs and it’s maw. I have to reduce as much of their ability to fight back as possible. Using one of my hooves to hold the wolf by the neck against the tree, I punch a hole in its chest. Using my horn, I tug on the magic source before yanking it out. I don't remember if I heard cries of pain, but since these creatures have evolved to regenerate, they likely don't feel pain.

With the magic source in my hoof, I store it in my pocket. I didn't even use the flame thrower, but to be fair, I didn't have a method of fueling the fire, so it'll just be like using a heater.

“A successful hunt!” I don't know why I said that out loud, but it felt necessary.

With a turn, I went back to leave the forest. It's odd the wolves should be using pack tactics. I wonder why this one was alone. I'll stop thinking about it. It'll only hurt if I think.

“Hey, Mr. Jay.” I wave to the bird as I pass by. It chirps a lot at me. I don't know what he’s saying.

“Cool. Bye.” I just left him.

‘Stupid horn head…’ Mr. Jay thought.

“Twilight, I'm back!” With the door to the basement opening, Twilight seemed to shut a book and hide something under the desk.

“Oh! You're back already?”

“Yep. Was fun in there, the Zebra in there was weird, but fun.”

“Zecora is always like that.”

“Neat. Anyway, I have this magic source, and I was wondering if there have been any studies on it.” I opened up my pocket dimension and began to shift through it.

“Magic source? From what?”

“A timberwolf.” I pulled out what looked like a green heart. It's a little dry now, thanks to the heart being no longer filled with magic. I realized I probably should've cut tubes sticking out of the heart at this point.

“SWEET CELESTIA!”

Turns out, she was not frightened by the heart, but how badly I was treating the heart. She lectured me on properly extracting a magic source from a timber wolf next time. She also didn't chastise me for going in alone and taking the source. So there's that. She's a huge nerd.

With the source now stored in a cooler, I'm now left outside for my transgressions against proper dissection. Also, I'm still homeless! It is time to rectify that problem. I can't have Spike be my mailbox for my royal stipend forever!

Friendship! Friendship?

Princess Luna invaded my mind. It’s only fair I get to invade her. Her mind is pretty dark, it’s a dark castle with hallways leading to different sections of her mind. The most important thing was the center, it’s her and her sister. It’s a nice display, but I’m looking for the good stuff, embarrassing stuff. We may have eased the tension, but I’m not going to let her get a leg up.

Though, I do have options. I could mess with her mind, torture her, you know mind rape. I’m not going to do that here, that would be very rude and also Celestia will kill me. I’m not going to test someone who can move the FUCKING SUN! Besides, I already tried digging into Celestia’s dreams, girl has a fucking barrier I can’t even crack into.

Anyway, Luna doesn’t know, and I haven’t found much. Just a couple of pleasant memories of parents, ain’t messing with that I’m not that vindictive.

With my search slowing down, I find something shiny in the corner. A garbage can, of course! I immediately began to shift through the garbage.

“Huh…Fifty Shades of Horse…they have erotica here?” I hold the novel in my hooves, I’m going to copy this down for later. Perhaps when the time is right I can remind her about this dirty thing.

Then I found something interesting, it was Luna, but she dyed her mane a stark red, she had piercings in her ear and the best part, “Blood Moon” was her name. This is perfect. She was a goth kid! God, I…didn’t know they had those all the way back when. How old is Luna? Well over a thousand I think. Does staying on the moon freeze your age or let you keep aging? I’ll ask her next time.

I dig into the trash can and pull out a rock, it seems to be one of these elements of harmony or whatever. Haven’t seen the rocks myself, but from what Twilight tells me, it matches their cutie marks. This seems like a collection of tainted elements, she must be ashamed she can’t use them anymore. I’m going to copy that memory, it’s actually a little cruel, but I think digging around in my brain without permission is fair compensation.

The last thing I found in the trash can was a strange slippery mist thing. It can hear the whispers from it.

“You don’t deserve rest.”
“You know what you’ve done.”
“You made your sister cry.”
“Go to sleep. Don’t wake up”

“Jesus!” I throw the mist back into the trash can. I felt the memory, she’s mind raping herself. Good! Saves me the trouble! Sorry Luna, but I’m not going to stop you!

I step away from the garbage, it seems she stores her trashy and unhealthy thoughts here. I need something darker, something I can use for blackmail. Yet, she is oddly pure. The only other spot I can’t check is the section on Nightmare Moon. I can’t enter that place, she must’ve learned mental barriers on her own.

I light up my horn and escape from her mind. To my left is Celestia’s dream world. I feel an urge to attempt something stupid.

So I am going to run headfirst into this orb! I float myself back and hold my head down, aimed right at Celestia’s dream. “If I can’t use magic! I’ll use my head!” A wondrous war cry from my voice as I fling myself towards the orb. With a crash I feel my horn has dug into the barrier, progress! Then the barrier reforms and breaks my dream avatar’s horn.

I sit up panting, my heart is pounding from the adrenaline of being in pain. With my breath calming I look at the window. It’s starting to creep to morning, I think I woke Celestia up as well with my little display into her head. Best not to think about it.

I get off the couch Twilight let me sleep on tonight and head over to the kitchen. “I should try my hand at cooking. Never know when that could be useful.” I try to remember Twilight’s usual breakfast schedule, but I don’t know it. Spike does, but the lizard is difficult to stir awake at this time. So lets do this! I’ll make the best damn omelet this side of Equestria has seen! The only question left is do they have red wine and soy sauce?

With my search through the cupboards, I found soy sauce, It seems fresh enough. No red wine though, I mean, fair enough but I would like to ask for cooking wine next time. If such a thing exists.

So, I got my recipe down. Step 1, beat eggs like a father beating their son with a belt. Step 2, pour in a little bit of soy sauce, not too much to overpower the egg. Step 3, spices because I actually know how to season my fucking food! Step 4, turn on stove.

“Wait…shit!” I realize I forgot the frying pan.

Step 4.5, frying pan on stove with butter. Step 5, patience and pour a light coat of the egg mixture to the bottom of the pan. Step 6, whilst only letting the bottom of the pan cook, use a tool to roll the egg from one side to the other. It’s so much easier with magic. Step 7, repeat until you have multiple logs of eggs cooked.

Now you have egg rolls without the bread, I think they’re called something in Japanese. No idea what, but I made it.

Pouring more soy sauce into a small dipping cup, I set it next to the little egg logs. “It’s missing something…” I think about what plants go well with eggs, trying to remember anything from a civilized society. “greens!”

I grab come celery, chop them up, add peanut butter and raisins. Ants on a log! Haha! A childhood favorite. I set them on a separate plate on the table and sigh in relief. I done cooked breakfast, I should do it more, relax myself. The last few days have been nothing but excitement and stress. I need to unwind. Also, I need to expand my friend group. Luna might be the newest member, but I do need some guy friends. That can be worked on today.

I take a seat in front of the table, waiting patiently for everyone to wake up. Hearing some footsteps I see Spike walk in the kitchen, yawning as he ties the pink apron to his body.

“Mornin’.” I wave to him, he waves back eyes half closed from waking up too early. His hands clutched a baby blue blanket with him, I guess he is too tired.

“Hey…” He stops once he got a good whiff of the aroma. The food seemed to lift him by the nose and into the air. “Woah!” He seemed to caught himself and landed himself back on the ground. Still holding on tight to the blanket. “Did you make breakfast?”

“Yep! This egg omelet roll thing…I don’t know what it’s called and some celery and peanut butter!” I would’ve added some meat, but horses can’t eat meat.

“Woah. I don’t have to make breakfast today.” Spike was happy to go to the chair and sit down, dropping his apron to the floor. “Guess I don’t need to do that today!” He is giddy and reaches for the egg roll things.

“Yep! Take it easy today, cause I have a plan!” I stand up, I just made this plan on the spot.

“What’s the plan?” Spike is still eating his roll, his mouth is full.

“Spike, please chew first.” I wipe some of his crumbs off the table.

“What are you, Twilight?” A couple of crumbs spewed from his mouth.

“Yes. I just need to dye my coat purple and straighten out my hair.” I chuckle, I mean I can probably do that with magic. Actually I’ll try it! What could go wrong. Lighting up my horn it fizzled instead of doing my spell. That’s odd, I was doing telekinesis fine earlier.

Spike was still chewing, at least he’s doing that now. With a gulp he began to speak. “Uhhh, that normal?”

“Probably, I can fix it later. Just as long as I can do telekinesis and…” I light up my horn and attempt to open my pocket dimension, only for my horn to shoot sparks, fizzling out. “…get my wallet.”

“Oh, that portal thing.” He chews on his celery now, a healthy breakfast at least. Got no raisins here, I ain’t a fan of raisins. “Guess you can’t open it for now. It’ll come back eventually, I think.”

“Yeah. It will. Just takes a day.” A day without magic…I can do this!

“Also, what was your plan?”

“To make friends. I was going to go out to a bar and get some drinks. I guess I can’t now, I don’t have money and the stipend doesn’t turn in today.” I rest my head on a table, I try telekinesis to see if that still works. I lift up a roll, but my magic fizzled out and dropped it on the table. “Damn it.” I covered my mouth as soon as I swore.

“It’s all right dude. Nameless taught me a bunch of those words.” That shook me a little.

“Not something to be proud of…” My mood is a little sour due to no magic, but I’m sure it’s fine. Nothing too intense is happening today, right?

“They’re still fun to use!” I’m scared now.

“Right…” I my ears are picking up clip-clops, and wood. Twilight must’ve woken up.

“Good morning boys.” She is cheerful this morning, I wonder what that’s about.

“Morning Twilight!” Spike is having a good time, the mood feels conflicted to me, but I’ll transition to happiness. “Anonymous made breakfast.” He took another celery stick, I really did use the last of my magic to make breakfast.

“Thanks Anonymous!” Twilight sat herself down, I think she has a coffee maker in her room because she slightly smells of caffeine. Either that or her shampoo. Also, where is her bathroom anyway? I usually just go outside and hop in a river. It works.

“No problemo.” I have to grab the roll to eat, it’s not particularly filling but it’s tasty. I should melt some cheese inside of this, maybe add a couple onions, mushrooms would definitely add a lot.

“Huh, these are tasty.” Twilight was using her magic to hold the finger foods. I’m slightly envious at that now. I’m now basically an earth pony just without the strength.

“Thanks. I want to add more to it. I can always do better.” I look at my little roll, I can do so much more.

“I don’t know how much you can add to this.” Twilight seems to be enjoying my cooking, it’s the little things.

“I know. I love to cook.” Why did Twilight’s tail raise a little then get out back down?

“Good to know.” She puts on a nervous smile and chuckles a little. Spike noticed this and gave his big sister an elbow to the stomach, she only chuckles more nervously.

“Yeah. It is.” I wonder if I’m going to take over kitchen duty. Spike’s breakfasts are pretty good themselves. Pancakes with hay I can live without I suppose.

“Anonymous. Can we talk about something?” Oh? With moi? Be still my beating heart…actually don’t I like being alive.

“Yeah. Sure.” I step down from the chair and watch as Twilight does the same, coping an extra celery stick for herself as she does so. She must like peanut butter.

I follow her into the main central room of the library. I ponder her possible questions, maybe Luna told her what’s in my head, or maybe she found out where Nameless came from. Or maybe-

“So, have you gotten something for Spike’s birthday?” She stopped my train of thought, I haven’t thought about that.

“I uhh…made him breakfast?” I quickly respond.

“No silly. An actual gift. I read that dragons love to get material items for their days of birth, so maybe we can get Spike something.” Is she goading me into hanging out with her? Oh hell yeah.

“When is Spike’s birthday anyway?”

“In a week. So let’s get him something before the whole town does. He is a local hero, so he’s bound to get a lot.”

Right, Discord is a thing. I should visit his statue, he can’t be too evil. “So, what should we get him?”

“I don’t know. We could get him a gem, but those are very difficult to give as gifts.” Twilight decided to use her horn to grab a book off a shelf, it’s apparently a guide to giving gifts to other races.

“Right. He can eat those…” This adventure will take us long and far! To the ends of Ponyville’s gift section! To the…wait I have no money. Fuck!

How do I break this to Twilight?

Also what is Nameless doing? I didn’t see her at breakfast.

Nameless was swearing at a million miles per hour to a very tired Luna. She was slightly excited to talk to some pony in their rest, but was regretting it.

Nameless on the other hand was given a heads up on Luna’s snooping and was tasked with annoying her. Anonymous didn’t expect her to start as soon as possible so he just didn’t check on her.

Author's Note

An excessive amount of dragon coming to you, from a lazy writer near you.

The Second Hour

My search for this zebra lady ain’t easy. The dark depths of this forest are just as confusing as ever. I’ve only entered this place once, and it already feels as if the entire forest has shifted, changed, and even transitioned. This place is a dungeon ain’t it? A location where it’s different with each passing day. I still envy those who can reliably travel these types of places. It’s a wonder how they made these places their own by living in them.

With my travels causing me to pass by some very blue looking flowers. A bit pretty, but I can’t afford to take risks, tally-ho!

Nameless took all the risks, mixing in some of this stuff called ‘Poison Joke Powder’ into a small thin test tube. Don’t worry, she had protective equipment, and goggles. It made her feel smart, no she IS smart. With a quick wooden cork she blocked the tube and began to shake. This stuff would slowly bubble on the inside, slightly glowing blue to the reaction.

“Now pour the blue into the mix. Or else you’ll fall to its tricks…” Nameless rehearsed a small verse she heard from their instructor Zecora, a neat Zebra. She knows a lot about this stuff, something about living in a forest or whatever. They’re learning about magic or whatever. It doesn’t matter what they’re learning. It’s just every student gets to participate in doing alchemy today for fun. Since it’s a very flexible form of magic for non-unicorns. Nameless took it upon herself to learn the ‘Funny Joke’ a form of Poison Joke that removes the poison effect, but allows the user to quip the funniest Jokes around. It will make everyone laugh. Or so it says on the page Zecora gave Nameless.

It however, has a very sinister side to it. With some review to the other student’s chosen pages, she decided to grab just a small bit of some saltpeter using her oddly large cave knowledge, and some strange acid. She also used a mortar to crush a gem stone and mixes that together. Something shiny. Now she just needs to show this to Zecora, get that grade, and head out to recess! She wonders if she can keep the thing, it could be pretty fun to get Anonymous to actually be funny for once or perhaps get revenge on Twilight for putting soap in her mouth. No, she needed to make a statement, if she can get that rich girl to drink this, then she can be happy that she got Anonymous in trouble. It’s a good plan!

“Just a little more…” My voice is shakey, as I cross a wooden bridge, it’s a difficult endeavor. As fun as I can become, when it’s life or death, I choose to live. Now with some people I care about, it’s best to tread lightly. Overly cautious leads to disaster, too carefree leads to other disaster, and whatever I’m doing leads to this odd castle. The darkened disheveled bricks and vines growing from the tops. The mold was not lost to me.

This place reminds me of Luna’s memory place, it must be what she holds most dear to her heart. This castle maybe, she is thousands years old so perhaps this is her old house. How intriguing…

My adventure takes me to a strange looking statue, a tree with five holsters for candles. At least I think they’re for candles, might be too big for a candle but perfect for a fire pits. The artifact in the center has a diamond shaped hole cut out of it. I assume this must’ve stored an artifact. Looters must have been here already, a shame. I wonder if there’s treasure around.

“I shall find a library and search through it!” I announce to no one, I was hoping to startle anyone stalking me with a loud sound, but no body came. Why a library you ask? Well, ancient spells tend to be more powerful than the modern ones. As back then, when magic would be considered new and powerful, they would push them to their limits. Now that this world has tempered down a bit, the extra spicy stuff such as moving the fucking sun would be lost.

Just spit balling here, Luna might have connection to this castle, so therefore there must be a spell about moving the sun and moon. If anything, a big explosion spell could work as well.

I kick open a door and find myself in what looks like a throne room, I’m next to a very rusty throne next to me, the rust seems to seep into the wall above it, leaving only the view of a moon. The throne next to it, has had its metal extracted and removed, leaving only the dilapidated wood and stone that once held the throne astray. I wonder why the thrones were built into the wall, but it was probably a sign of power and to not steal the metals that make the throne.

Taking an exit to the right of the empty throne I find myself in a room with shelves, books lined upon them. Looters must’ve not have taken these books, either due to no value or no powerful spells to sell. Might as well shift though. I’m supposed to be searching for a Zebra for my magic waning. This will do. I can hopefully catch her once she’s home.

With my magic taking a couple of books off the shelf I began to take a gander through them. “Let’s see here… A love story about a mare with a…changeling? Okay, fantasy creatures exist here as well. Odd, this place is plenty magic enough.” I toss away the book and open up another one, with the covers faded I cannot see what they are until I open them. “A book on how to make bread…I’ll just rapid fire.” I open another book up. “Stallion’s guide to herding…Sonic Rainboom, and other Pegasus powers, this is a keeper. If I can get my hand on a shapeshifitng spell, I can try these out….”

Adding that particular book to my pocket dimension, I felt a disturbance as I close the pocket. Illusion magic, in this library? Oh, yes please. I love Illusion magic dude, if they’re being illusion magic then best case scenario they have illusion spells. Now I couldn’t find any new illusions spells that aren’t party tricks. Fake confetti is cool and all, but I want something useful. Duplicates, long standing illusions, smoke, and mirrors, that sort of thing.

To be fair I also love Destructive magic, explosions and lasers are cool man. I need to figure out how to shoot lasers with my hand when I go to the next world. It’s gonna be sick.

With my heart ready, I take a trip down the path of where the illusion magic is occupying. I’m met with a brick wall. Of course, I have to do the standard. I punch the wall!

Reeling my hoof back I crash it into the wall and force the illusion to fade away. Leading me to a lone platform with no railing with a book at the top. I can feel the magic already, let’s do this! Walking up the steps slowly, careful not to fall into the abyss below I take the book into my magic, spikes produce from the stone tablet book the title on the front reads as: Inspiration Manifestation. Awww, it’s not illusion, but manifestation should be useful. Creating matter is stupid broken! If they’re magic in property, then it’ll difficult to maintain, but if this book has the ability to just create matter, then we got something going here.

Opening it up, it’s not so much instructions on casting, it’s an incantation! Even more useful! Incantations aren’t just another form of casting spells, they change the property of your casts. Basically you start naturally using lighting, cast an incant, now you can use fire. With others it would drain them passively until their magic has burned away. With me, my magic naturally cycles because of my absorption so I can theoretically hold an incantation forever.

“Ahem. Might as well test it.” I exit the room and set myself in the library, opening it up and reading my lungs. I have to speak from the heart if I want the incantation to work.

“From in the head to out in the world, every thought to action. Hold close this book and through its spell, you'll start a chain reaction. Projecting forth whatever beauty you see. Only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free.”

Sickly green magic slowly exude from my eyes, my horn now the same color, I take a look at a book shelf, suddenly my magic reacted to my eyes and it turned the bookshelf from dilapidated wood and bent nails, to a beautiful royal shelf. Red velvet held the books up as they also got restored to their former glory. Haha, haha! It works!

You know, I needed a house. This castle shall be mine! It’s squatters law!

Wait wait wait, I’m going insane! I should probably put this book down…after I refurbish the place! Let’s do this!

Author's Note

You ever watch MLP, find something really funny, and put it in words?

School arc going hard I think.

Also, going slowly to get 69k words, it’ll be funny I swear!

Great and Powerful Tutor! TRRRRRRR-

“WHAT?!” Twilight doesn’t really yell at me, so I had to jump in my chair. Almost spilling my cereal. Having to quickly adjust my bowl, I don’t want to cry over spilt milk today.

Oh hey, I can hear my thoughts again. Neat! Bababooey!

“What do you mean you’re meeting Trixie?” Twilight sat back down in her seat, realizing she’s spilling her milk.

“Oh hey, you know her that’s neat!” I drink my coffee

“I do know her, she’s the mare who embarrassed my friends!”

“Cool. Good to know she is talented enough to do so.”

“Cool? Cool?! Anonymous, if she’s meeting you alone, in the Everfree, with an expected payment. She’s going to rob you! Why else would she meet you in the castle of the two sisters?”

“No she won’t, I’m very capable with my magic. You should know this by now.”

“Yes, while you are talented. You don’t know the basics of magic combat, even I know the basics.” I flinch at the accusation, I do know magic combat Twilight, I just never told or shown you. I don’t think I told her much about myself. I should remedy that.

“Why? Is your brother a soldier who taught you how to defend yourself?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“…lucky guess.” I sip my coffee as I look outside. I’m a little bit offended. I do know my magic combat! How else would I have survived in multiple lifetimes? It’s quite easy, just blast a bigger bolt of energy, or drain them until they can’t cast magic then retaliate. “But don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I do know how to fight.”

“Please Anonymous-“

I cut Twilight off, “That’s quite enough, alright? I’m a grown ass man, and back where I’m from, we learn to defend ourselves before we can speak! Well, not literally, but I can fight.” Why am I so heated? I didn’t have to assert my voice like that.

“I…fine. If you get robbed, don’t pin it on me. I’ll look for you if you don’t come back.” Twilight is looking a little annoyed. It’ll be fine, I swear.

“Right…I’ll…be on my way.” I get off the chair and take my cereal to the sink, drinking the last of the milk before setting it down.

“You go do that.” Her voice is firm, I can’t help but feel a little bad for my actions. I’ll apologize later, I have to get my priorities straight now. Learn Illusionary Magic, talk to someone about mental health, and then date Twilight. Getting myself back into the dating scene will be difficult, just gotta make myself worthy!

I leave the kitchen. Taking a look back to see a miffed Twilight and Spike just talking, probably about what just happened.

I am stupid, but I’m still stupid. So I’m just gonna go.

Anonymous walked out of the library and made his way towards the forest, his mind feeling a little sealed since he left. “That’s odd, can’t hear myself think now…” He rubs his horn, a slight tingle to his horn shocks his hoof. “Ouch, I’m guessing I’m still at maybe 60%? No, 65% full strength. Twilight must be a strong one for me to get myself to think properly.”

His eyes wander the streets of Ponyville. It’s been a while since he’s been here now. It still doesn’t feel like home to him, still the mentality of a tourist here. Even with his studying at home, he can’t help but shake that feeling.

He needs friends, he knows this. The only ponies he feels a somewhat connection with are the royals, Luna and Twilight. Luna is the Princess of the Moon, and Twilight is straight up a protégé to the Princess of the Sun. He starts to think about visiting Luna, probably to tease her about Blood Moon, and other various jokes.

Also to give Twilight a proper hang out session that isn’t spending hours in the basement creating nothing. The design process of streamlining the Timberwolf Magic Engine (patent pending) hasn’t been going the greatest. Too many failures.

He didn’t realize he ended up at the Everfree’s edge until he bumped his head on a tree with a ‘bonk’ accompanying his new injury. “Ow.” He rubs his forehead. “Yep. Therapy. Should move that up a tier. Why did I need therapy now?” Sidestepping the tree he bumped into he walks through the dark confines of the Everfree. His magic absorption getting more energy the closer he gets to the castle.

He feels, invigorated. His mind slowly forming itself in his head. Though, the magic feels angry. The nature of the energy was palpable, he could taste it. It feels a lot like the energy that Luna and Celestia would give off. Though it’s odd he didn’t feel such power in her dreams.

His hooves shake at the thought of so much power. Excitement coursing through his body. She’s a real deal, a powerful illusionist! No wonder she asks for so much, it’s a necessity. She has the power, she gets to demand as much as she wants. “Is 60 bits a lot? It doesn’t seem like that much to me.” He mutters, still unable to hear himself think. “Doesn’t matter! Let’s go!”

He quickly jogs over the bridge above the dark cavern below as he felt the energy grow stronger the closer he gets to it. It’s beautiful.

“Wait.” He halts himself before entering the castle proper. The door was right before him, he could feel her on the other side waiting.

“If Twilight says she’ll rob me then I got to test this theory first.” He decided to cast a spell on himself first, a quick emergency teleport spell. The destination needs to be set as well, so he let the spell teleport behind the attacker. All in hopes that he could say the funny line.

He stepped inside, seeing the sky blue mare with a black cloak covering most of her body. The magical artifact acting as a collar keeping her ensemble together. She was staring at one the door, awaiting her student. With a smile she brushed off dirt and

“You’ve arrived, Trixie was half expecting a fluke or Trixie’s mind playing tricks.” She looks malnourished, from what little Anonymous can see under her cloak, she hasn’t been eating well at all. “Didn’t even let Trixie confirm if you were real!” She stomps a hoof to the ground.

“Oh, so that’s why you wanted me to wait.” Anonymous couldn’t hear himself think, but still wondered why all the powerful wizards he meet always refer to themselves in the third person. Is it a magic thing, an ego thing, or a title thing? He never really figured it out.

“Trixie will forgive this. As long as you provide the bits.” She looks at Anonynous, inspecting him. The Amulet she bought recently will do wonders with keeping a new stream of income. Bleeding this colt dry of his funds!

“Right. 60 bits…” He opened his pocket dimension, and pulled out a small bag of bits he had prepared the morning earlier to give to Trixie.

Trixie seemed intrigued by such a spell and attempted to replicate it by just seeing. The spell she casted accidentally opened a different type of pocket. It was watery, so purple. An obsidian black edge outlined the portal.

“Ooo. Fancy.” Anonymous was happy with the talent his new tutor showcased, then the edges of the portal began to spin, a suction began to pull the both of them towards the portal. “Wait. What did you do?!” Anonymous yelped out as his bits bag was whisked away into the portal. The edge slowly shifting into a swirling mass of magic.

“T-Trixie is just uh- HAS THIS UNDER CONTROL!” Her eyes lit up red, the horn following quickly. The fury she felt at this embarrassment was enough to shoot a blast to close the portal. In the end, it just made it worse, causing the portal to only grow stronger with its suction.

“Woah!” Anonymous felt his body lift into the air, his instincts kicked into look around to find something to grab. “Chain of Thorns!” Anonymous used his horn to light up a magic chain to grab onto a nearby pillar.

“Noooo!” Trixie began to struggle against her own spell. Using her magic to form crystals to root herself into the ground. “Trixie will not have her own spell backfire! Dissapear!” She closed her eyes and felt a surge of anger, using this emotion she attempted to close the portal again. This time, she tried to forcefully stop the suction. Her magic gripping the sides of the portal like a valve, she attempted to halt the constant turning. It didn’t work, her magical grip slipping as the portal was practically unstoppable. “Gah! I can’t stop it!”

“Maybe I can! But uh…” He looks down at Trixie’s hooves, seeing he’s running out of time with crystals at her hooves began to crack, then suddenly shatter. A scream escaped Trixie’s mouth as she flies towards the portal.

“Damnit! Uh…” He looks at the pillar he is attached to but decided to let go. The chain breaking and he began to let the suction bring himself towards the portal. Reaching out a hoof to attempt to catch her. “Trixie!”

Trixie however was flailing about and accidentally bucked Anonynous in the face, causing his vision to dizzy up for a moment. A moment to long as both of them ended up swallowed by the portal.

The portal lingers for a moment before suddenly closing, leaving no trace of anything being there.

“Ow…” Anonymous felt his eyes finally steady straight as he pushed himself off the oddly blue rock he was standing on. His magic absorption was on overdrive, healing the bruise on his forehead swiftly. His eyes darted around, it was dark. Yet he felt something approach quickly, he turned around to see a growling three headed. He yelped in fear as he jumped back, “Cerberus?! That’s a thing in this world?” His heart was pounding, the magic he’s absorbing from just being here was just too much. It was powerful. Even more so from this dog, who seemed to be loaded with the energy.

The dog didn’t seem keen on killing him, but only to guard something. Like a good guard dog. Even if that guard dog is Cerberus.

Stepping away from the dog, he quickly went away from the area he was guarding. Which seemed to be staircase to a cage. The contents he could not see. It’s not the time to be exploring he has to find someone.

“Trixie?!” He yelled out, trying to see if his mentor was safe. His adventures now taking him to an unknown.

Author's Note

Welcome to Tartarus. Aka Pony Hell, Aka Cozy Glow’s Time Out chambers.

I wonder if I can keep going with this trait. Think about problems, wants to solve it, goes to furthering his problems without realizing.

For me, it’s a little difficult to write. Yet, fun. Can’t explain why it’s fun, but I’m having fun.

I’m trying to improve my writing. Story beats are getting somewhere now at least. Firm ideas at this point. Just at a loss of how to execute.

To make this easier, I’ll just write it down.

Improvement (Mind TL {We are Here} - Body AJ - Soul FS) - Royalty (T-L-C) - Royalty (PT.2 Cr-Ca-S-D) - Invasion - ???

The future is there at least. Going to try to reach for three chapters per arc for every large arc.

Also, honest thoughts. First or Third Person? I make some funny business happen depending on what gets chosen.

Will keep writing and editing my work, thank you all for enjoying my stuff.