Bug Trap

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy, Changelings, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Human
Length: 2475

The changelings are coming! The changelings are coming! And to make matters worse, Twilight and friends are out of town! Whatever will you do?!

By sheer dumb luck, you learned about an upcoming invasion of Ponyville planned by Queen Chrysalis and her army of changelings. Unfortunately, there are two major problems. First, Twilight and her friends are currently on vacation, meaning that the only thing standing between the changelings and Ponyville is little old you. Second, the invasion is supposed to occur at sunrise, which is about an hour away.

Oh dear.

Published 2023-08-22 18:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-08-22 18:30:00 UTC

Bug Trap

You furiously slam on the door to Sugarcube Corner, your fist rapidly hitting the wood about half a dozen times per second.

"Come on come on come on come on come on!"

Suddenly, the door opens, and you find yourself accidentally slamming your fist directly into Mr. Cake's exhausted-looking face.

"Ow! Anon, what in Equestria are you doing at this hour?! The sun isn't even out yet!"

"Sorry Mr. Cake, but this is an emergency! I need to be let into Pinkie's party cave!"

"Wh-what? Slow down, I just woke up. What's going on, exactly?"

"Argh, we don't have time for this! Mr. Cake, Ponyville is in danger, and our lives depend on me getting into Pinkie's party cave!"

"I'm not sure if I really have a say on if you-"

You lightly push Mr. Cake to the side and sprint into the building, rapidly turning the corner and heading towards Pinkie's living space.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cake, but you'll thank me later, I swear!"

"W-wait!"

Ignoring him, you book it into Pinkie's bedroom, quickly locating the big plastic ice cream cone and pressing down on its swirly top. Sure enough, the ice cream folds in on itself, activating a trap door beneath you and sending you down a long slide into the pink pony's secret party planning hideout. This is where she keeps everything she needs to do her Pinkie Pie stuff, and hopefully, it's where you'll find what you're looking for.

Hoo boy, you have your work cut out for you tonight, don't you?

It was another sleepless night for Equestria's resident human. You were taking a stroll through town in the dark, a habit that you formed a few months back. Ponyville is an incredibly peaceful place, meaning that nighttime strolls like this are perfectly safe, calming endeavors. You took a deep breath, relishing in the crisp, clean, cool night air.

However, you suddenly stopped in place. From the corner of your eye, you saw movement in a nearby alleyway. Narrowing your eyes, you turned your full attention to said alleyway. Half the reason these strolls are so peaceful is that nopony is awake, and finding a kindred spirit in the middle of the night is a rarity, to say the least (no pun intended). So... how could you not be curious? Throwing caution to the wind, you started to walk towards the alleyway.

Before you could reach it, however, the source of the movement makes itself known. Emerging from the alleyway was none other than Fluttershy, her long mane covering most of her face as she stared at the ground while taking occasional glances in your direction.

"Fluttershy? What are you doing here?"

"O-oh... um..." Her voice is a whisper, barely audible over the evening breeze. "J-just going for a walk."

"A walk? You? At this hour?"

"...Yes."

"Is everything okay? You don't typically go for nighttime walks like this, even on your worst days."

"...Oh."

She looks away from you, the fear in her eyes and her shaky posture making her look like the most vulnerable thing in the world. You tilt your head at her and smile while taking a few steps forward.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"N-no, I don't think so."

You continue to approach the cowering mare.

"Are you sure? I think telling me what's on your mind could do you some good."

"I-I don't want to talk."

"Well that's unfortunate, because..." In a swift motion, you reach out and grab at the mare, causing her to squeal and struggle in your grasp as you lift her off of the ground. "You're going to talk one way or another."

"What are you doing? P-please, let me go!"

"You know, you're doing a pretty good job pulling off the whole 'terrified Fluttershy' shtick." You glare at the mare, your voice cold and calculated. "But unfortunately for you, Fluttershy is out of town right now."

"...Wh-what?"

"Also, you got the eye color wrong."

"...Urgh." The pony that looks like Fluttershy suddenly drops the "scared" facade, instead taking up a horrible scowl. Her body seems to glow as it is enveloped in what looks like green flames, and about a second later, "Fluttershy" has been replaced by a changeling drone, its black body and green eyes making it seem intimidating in the quiet, moonlit alleyway. "You're smarter than you look... whatever you are."

"Thanks. Now then, if you'll go ahead and start telling me exactly what it is you're doing here, I'm all ears."

"Hah. I'm not telling you anything."

"Alright, have it your way."

You adjust your grip on the changeling, making it so that you've got it by the neck with just one hand. With your now-free hand, you reach into your back pocket, and the changeling's eyes go wide.

"Wh-what do you think you're doing?!"

"Whatever I have to do to make you talk."

From your back pocket you retrieve a small cylinder, the spray cap on top bright red and ready to go. The changeling knows just as well as you do what this is.

"W-why do you carry around a bottle of Raid with you in the middle of the night?!"

"Mosquitoes and stuff."

"You're not supposed to spray it on yourself, idiot! That's a different kind of spray entirely!"

"You haven't seen Ponyville mosquitoes, then."

"I... what?" You bring the bottle right up to the changeling's face, causing it to now legitimately cower away from you in fear. "Alright, alright! I'll talk!"

"Good. Now, then..." You lean in really close, doing your best to seem as intimidating as possible. "What does love smell like?"

"...Huh?"

And that was how you learned about Queen Chrysalis's plot to attack Ponyville at sunrise. The fact that she is doing so while Twilight and friends are out of town is sheer coincidence, meaning that the responsibility of protecting the town falls to you. And you don't have much time to prepare. You needed a plan, and fast.

Luckily for you, as you throw open a few doors leading to rooms that are connected to the entrance to Pinkie's secret party cave, you find exactly what you're looking for: A room filled to the brim with craft supplies. Taking the comically large, bright-pink slide into the chamber, you immediately begin digging through cabinets and closets in search of your target.

"Come on, she has to have some in here..."

Because it's the middle of the night, you couldn't just go to the store to get what you need. Even if any stores were open, you doubt they would have what you need in the quantity that you need it.

Finally, you throw open a closet to reveal a few unopened crates, each taking up about a cubic meter of space. Thanks to the labels on them, you immediately know that you've found what you were looking for:

A ridiculous amount of glue.

Well, here goes nothing.

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

Mayor Mare looks at you with worry on her face. She, as well as the majority of Ponyville, is hiding with you inside of the Ponyville town hall. Difficult though it may be, the crowd is doing its best to stay as quiet as possible, and the voices that can be heard are little more than whispers.

"No, I'm not. But it's better than nothing."

"I can't really say that fills me with confidence."

"Yeah, me neither. But do you have a better idea?"

"No, not really."

"Then I guess we're sticking to the plan."

You glance at a nearby clock. The sun rose about twenty minutes ago, meaning it's time for the final phase of your plan. It was a very busy hour. You gathered what you needed, set up your trap, got Mayor Mare's help to warn the whole town about the upcoming attack, and gathered everypony you could in one place. Then, all you had left to do was wait for the right time.

You stand up in front of the anxious crowd, doing your best to sound like a leader and horribly failing as your voice immediately cracks.

"Everypony, it's time. I know how terrifying it must be, knowingly walking directly into what was supposed to be a changeling ambush. If you don't have the nerve to come with me, I understand. However, without the Elements of Harmony to protect us, we have nothing but each other to rely on. And we aren't defenseless! I don't know if my trap worked, but we already know about the attack! Their greatest strength is their ability to lie and to deceive, and we've already got them figured out. Now, all we have to do is defend our home! Who's with me?!"

Out of the two-hundred or so ponies, maybe a couple dozen at the most respond to your call to action. So... more than you were expecting.

"Then let's go! Raaaaaaaah!"

The volunteers unenthusiastically yell with you as you open the door to the town hall in an anticlimactic manner. Doing your best to hide your trepidation, you start to march north of town, the place where you set up your trap. The rising sun bathes the landscape in light, and the morning dew sticks to your shoes as you walk through the grass. It would be pretty if not for the possibility of an imminent, painful death looming over you.

You slowly begin to climb a hill. Just on the other side, the trap you prepared awaits. In a few seconds, you shall see if your efforts to save the town helped in any way, or if everything you did was in vain.

...

When you finally make it to the top of the hill, what you see causes both yourself and the small crowd you brought with you to gasp collectively.

There, at the bottom of the hill, is a massive bug trap. Using a bunch of cardboard and about a metric ton of glue, you made a massive version of those sticky fly trap thingies people put near windows and stuff sometimes. Thanks to your interrogation of that changeling you met a little while ago, you learned that from a changeling's perspective, love smells suspiciously similar to cucumbers. So, all you had to do was douse the whole thing in cucumber juice. Is this the stupidest idea you've ever had? Yes. Did you do it anyway because you panicked? Yes.

Is there currently an entire army of changelings, including Queen Chrysalis herself, stuck in your stupid trap? To the surprise of everyone, that's also a resounding yes.

You pog as you look behind you at the crowd of ponies that went with you. They do the same back. After a few moments of silence, you all let out a cheer as you rush down to the trap.

Sure enough, Queen Chrysalis and a few hundred changelings are embarrassingly stuck to the trap to varying degrees. Some are still standing, some are even upside-down, but most are stuck on their sides, Chrysalis included. They all look either worried, annoyed, or unfathomably angry, and occasionally you see one of their limbs or wings twitch before they realize the futility of doing so.

With a cocky smirk on your face, you wander over to where Chrysalis is stuck to the trap.

"I cannot believe you fell for this."

"SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE BESTED BY SOMETHING SO STUPID!"

Her body glows with the familiar green fire of a shapeshifting changeling, revealing the form of an ursa minor. Unfortunately for her, said ursa minor is still stuck to the trap, its fur making a painful-sounding ripping noise all the while. After a few seconds, she shapeshifts back with an aggravated sigh.

"Looks like you won't be doing this again any time soon."

Chrysalis lets out a yell of pure rage before finally letting out a much quieter (yet still angry) groan.

"Release me, fool."

"No, I don't think I will."

"Pfft. What a cowardly tactic. To think that Twilight Sparkle would stoop so low."

"Oh, she had nothing to do with this."

"Huh?!"

"Nah, she's out of town right now. This was all thanks to yours truly."

"..." She looks at you with disbelief for a moment before scowling. "You've sealed your own fate, you disgusting creature. When I escape from here, I will tear you limb from limb."

"Mmmmmmmm, no. You won't."

"Hah! As if you could stop me!"

"Bet I could. Maybe I'll make a big bug zapper next time."

"F-fool!"

Chrysalis's cheeks go red. She's obviously extremely embarrassed that she fell for this.

"For now though, I think we're just gonna wait here until Twilight gets back. She'll know what to do with you."

"And how long will that take?"

"Who knows?"

"You're just gonna wait here for an unknown amount of time waiting for your friends to arrive?!"

"I don't have much of a choice."

"Because you know that we're going to break free and kill you the second you turn away?!"

"No." You gesture to your feet, which you just so happened to get stuck on the same trap that you set up for the changelings just a couple of feet away from Chrysalis. "It's 'cause I'm stuck too."

"I am surrounded by idiots!"

And so, Ponyville was safe once again. It wasn't until the following day that Twilight and her friends arrived and took care of the problem properly, freeing you from your own trap in the process. Apart from Pinkie being a little upset that you stole so much of her glue, all's well that ends well. Hey, not everyone is cut out to be a big hero.

Hm... are you forgetting something?

...

Nah.

Fluttershy slowly heads towards her cottage, a yawn escaping her as she walks down the dirt path. However, she suddenly comes to a stop as she notices a bit of movement out of the corner of her eye. If she's not mistaken, something just ducked into that bush over there. With a tilt of her head and a curious expression, she slowly approaches the suspicious bush.

"Um, hello?"

Just as she gets close to the bush, a shadow-like figure leaps out at her. Just before it can reach her, she squeals and instinctively reaches for her saddlebag, pulling out her handy-dandy bottle of Raid and spraying the figure.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The changeling falls to the ground, clutching its freshly sprayed face in pain.

"O-oh my goodness!"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS STUPID TOWN CARRY RAID AROUND WITH THEM?!"

"Have you seen Ponyville mosquitoes?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Author's Note

I just couldn't get this mental image out of my head of Chrysalis stuck in a fly trap and felt compelled to write a story about it.

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!