(Most of this is written as tho you are in the thoughts of said person. I'm new at this.)
Owie, owie, owie! My head was pulsing like a drum and bass concert. It hurt. Why am I on the ground? Did I get absolutely wasted again? The voices in my head reasoned that I had just knocked my hea... yes I got wasted. I hate losing arguments to the voices in my head. But at least my nausea was clearing. Okay, okay, OKAY! I know you are mad at me. You can stop hurting now! I reasoned with myself while I rubbed my temples. Did that freak at the bar slip something in my drink? Imma keel him!! With that, I decided to take stock of the situation.
Human? Check. Hangover? Check. Cell phone? Check Schweet! But where did I pull that out? Oh well. Sunglasses? Check. Present location? Looks like the Everfree forest in Equestria. Time of day? No frikken idea. Present condition? Disorientated in an unknown area of a kids tv show. I'm gonna die. But I'm too young to die! I paused. Daaiyem. I'm shallow. Ok, let's see. Nobody ever stops for directions in cartoon shows, sooooooo Imma' walk that way! And proceeded to land on my face. OWWW!! Sonova... I sat fuming for a few minutes before trying to walk again. I shakily got it, and proceeded to try out a theory.
"Ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, BATMAN!" Jump out behind a bush! Gasp! "Ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja, BATMAN!" Bush "Batman!" Sneaking around like Pinky Pie while singing that is so much fun! Heck, I coul...
"Uh, excuse me." Doth thine ears deceive me? 'Twas that the musical sound of, gulp, Fluttershy?! Turn slowly, calm down, and be NICE!!! Yes!! It was Fluttershy!!
"Uh... Hi." I stammered.
"Um, if I may ask, um, what are you doing in the Everfree forest? Or, what are you?" SHE IS FREAKING ADOREABLE!!! But if I tell her the truth, she will just freak out. Um, be polite.
"I got a little lost. Could you tell me how to get to Ponyville? I think I took a wrong turn." It was close enough to the truth for it not to be a lie. But I still feel like I'm lying. To Fluttershy. "Insert frowny face here". Oh, wait. =(
"Sure. Just follow the path over the bridge. You can't miss it." She looked nervous. Probably the Everfree forest. You don't actually notice it in the series, but this place can give you the heebly-jeeblies. Jeebly-jeebly-jeebly.
"I don't mean to be rude, but why are you in the Everfree forest?" She looked panicked. "It's ok! I won't hurt you!" I tried to say before she stammered:
"There's weird things going on in Ponyville right now. All the animals are really frightened." With a shriek, she vanished. Should I be concerned about this? Oddly the voices didn't have an opinion for once. Weird. I pondered as I meandered down the said path to the mysterious PONYVILLE!! Hehe. That's sounds like the name of some 80's kids TV show. Ugh. Creepy.
Do have any idea what all the bright colours do to your brain when you have a hangover? It's not fun.
And so it came to be that I made it to Ponyville at midday, I took it to be. And from the moment I got there, something was really evident. Where is everyone? I mean, there's AJ trying to sell some apples, but the place looked abandoned. Maybe AJ will know what's going on.
"Apples! Git yer apples here! Apples!" AJ looked frustrated. Best to pretend that I don't actually know her.
"Excuse me, but do you know what's going on around here? I mean, this place looks deserted!" Might as well just state the obvious while I'm at it.
Pause. "Beats me, stranger. We got some reasonable folk 'round here, but they been actin' real strange for some time now." She huffed. Now I was curious.
"Really? Like what?" Don't mean to be rude, but I was curious.
"Not really sure. I ain't for rumours, but they say there's some strange thangs at the library." Ooooh, intriguing!
"Huh. By the way, where is the library? I need to see Twilight Sparkle." Hell, might just as well. All the other fanfics refer to people going to her for help, so heck, why not?
"It's the tree house in that direction. Ya can't miss it." She pointed down the street.
"Thanks!" I wonder what the strange 'thang" that AJ referred to is? Oh well, I'm going to find out soon enough. I gotta admit, this place is, um, quite quaint. Ah! Here it is! I wonder if Spike will answer the door. Knock, knock. I wonder how I should tell her...
"Go away!"That was new. I never heard of Twilight not allowing people in. This is not going to go down well.
"Uh, Twilight? I need your help. Please, I'm not here to make fun of, whoever is in there. Please let me in." Silence, then the door creaked open by two inches.
"Who are you?" the purple pony whispered.
"Honestly? I dunno how I got here, and I know you ain't got nothin' like me around, so I was just wondering if you can help me figure out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Oh, and you can call me Christina while you're at it." She still gave me a skwiff look before letting me in.
"Fine. But please behave yourself. My friend is rather freaked." I softly came in. The place was a mess. Books everywhere. It made the librarian in me want to cry. And clean up the place. I was just about to take another step before she hit me with:
"What are you?"Uhhhhhhhhh.....
"Not from this world?" I ventured. She still looked suspicious.
"Don't mock him."She fumed. WHAA..!?
"I'm not! Honest! I know a lot of this world and have never been here! I have never ever met Pinkie Pie and I know her mane smells like cotton candy. You can't keep secrets to save you life, and AJ is a horrible liar! Rainbow Dash is full of herself, and Fluttershy wants to be a tree! Princess Trol... Cellestia gets fed up with everyone acting so uptight and just wants to have fun, and princess Luna is going Loonie!" Stop and breathe! The voice commanded. Oh, don't mind the voices. I've always had them. "Do I need to continue?" I looked at her questioningly. I'm never going to get through to her! She doesn't believe me. Hang on a mo, she is hesitating!
"Ok, so if you are not from here, where from?" My mommie and daddie!! I had a feeling she wouldn't like that sooo...
"Bergvliet, Cape Town, South Africa, Africa, Earth, third planet from the sun, in the Milkyway galaxy." There's no way she will believe that!
"Funny, my friend said about the exact same thing." She said as she went into an adjacent room. Say whaaaa...?
"Really? Maybe I know hi..." I followed her into the room, and did a double take. In front of me sat a being I could have recognized anywhere. Tan skin, REALLY skinny, black hair, blue eyes, a crooked smile... Was it really?
"Christina?" he ventured. IMMA KEEL YOU!!! Instead I walked over and slapped him. Then I gave him a hug.
"Jared, you jackass. Do you have any idea what you have done to me?" I held him tighter. He's alive, he's alive!!!
"You two... know each other?" Twilight puzzled. Whoops. I had forgotten about her. I know him better than anyone.
"He's my husband, Twi."There was a clattering sound. Her jaw had hit the floor. "How long have you been here?"
"Three days." My heart stopped. Three days? That's... impossible! He saw my distress. "Love? How long have I been away?" Too long. For far too long.
"Three years"