Machines, maniacs, and magical mishaps

by Rhododendron

Rating: mature
Tags: Violence, Human, Narcotics, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Changelings, Science Fiction, Comedy, Profanity, Adventure
Length: 2121

Anthony M. Xavier, ex-commander turned head researcher of the IMMC, has his life turned around when an experiment deserts him on a planet outside of humanity's controlled space.

Once a high ranking Commander in the Imperium of Mans Marine Corp, Anthony M. Xavier sought greater potential in pursuing his father's legacy in the military's research and development team. Becoming the head researcher because of his father's great accomplishments, Anthony sought to build a machine that could transport supplies millions of light years instantly. Now he's trapped on a planet outside of the Imperium's records with no way of getting back. Will he get back? Will he make friends? Will he ever tell his mom happy birthday? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z.

P.s. This is my first horse story, as such criticism and mockery would be greatly apriciated. I will also like to apologize for bad grammer and or story telling it will happen reapetedly. If you choose to read this just know the pain WILL be immense and without limit. Good luck. :)

Published 2023-08-27 19:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-08-27 19:20:00 UTC

Chapter 1: It's your fucking Nightmare

It was a very late night for Anthony. Him and his team of scientists were inside the lab cooking up something great. "How much longer now? I would like to go home," An annoyed Capt. Bowman an IMMC (Impeirium of Man Marine Corp) officer standing in as the officer in charge of the station the lab was in. He was covered from the neck down in black armor that was scratched and battle-tested. On the right breast stood a single gray image of the milky way galaxy (to remind people where we started). He carried his standard-issued plasma assault rifle hooked magnetically on his back, and his helmet on his waist. "Oh!? It shouldn't be long now sir," The nervous red-headed scientist by the name of Janet said, "Mr. Xavier any updates?" Anthony M. Xavier, head researcher of this station's division (a title only given to him due to his father's work), didn't respond. Not cause he was being rude but because he was literally lost in his work, his body halfway inside a complicated-looking machine. He wore blue coveralls over his zero-suit that all military and military-acquainted personnel were supposed to wear. The machine he was working on should, in theory, be able to transport weapons, ammunition, and food to any exact position within 5 million light years away. This project was started by the old lead researcher who had passed away 20 years ago and was recently picked up by Anthony. He had been working on this project for only 2 and a half years but had made surprising progress.

"You listening dumbass!?" Yelled the military officer. Anthony heard that one, "Just running my pre-operational procedures. You can leave anytime you want. That is, if you don't want that achievement medal approved by your command?" Anthony retorted. Closing the panel he came out of.

"You're not a part of the IMMC anymore, you have no right to talk to me like that."

Oh, he's definitely not getting that medal now, "Do you want my machine or not?"

Capt. Bowman didn't respond, not wanting to lose his rank over snapping some stupid know it all ex-commanders neck in public.

Finally, he shuts up. "Now then Janet, If you would be so kind?" Anthony motioned towards the computer connected to the machine. Janet, a red-headed girl in a lab coat, was an intern he had taken. While she showed a lot of hesitation and nervousness, she was exceedingly smart and knew how to work with machines. "On it Mr. Xavier." Several crates had been loaded onto the platform earlier. Three were full of military food and water rations, two had antimatter fabricators, and one was full of the best whiskey the Imperium of Man could provide (A note reading "from Xavier with love" on it). Janet was now heading over to the terminal and input coordinates to the planet Zion (specifically a military outpost, that was waiting for the cargo for confirmation of the capabilities of the machine). Walking over to his terminal Anthony sent an interstellar message to the planet stating the time and contents of the crates arriving. "All good on my end. Janet, you're good to send it, " anthony said giving his assistant a thumbs up. Janet pulled a leaver, not long after a loud charging sound and a bright flash of light came from the now empty platform. "That's it?" Capt. Bowman interrupted.

"What do you mean 'that's it?' That was several tons of military supplies," Anthony said (Not to mention histories largest amout of whisky illegally transported, but no one needs to know that).

"How are we supposed to know it got there, and that it wasnt just vaporized?"

"We wait for their transmission back."

"Well? How long is that gonna take?"

"Anywhere from three to four days."

"Then why am I here? Smart-ass"

"Because you have to be here during the experiment to have your medal sign off. Which, good luck finding someone else to help sign that shit off, cause im not gonna help authorize it anymore dipshit," Anthony always had a problem with keeping his mouth shut, always getting him into unnecessary trouble. Today was no exception. Not long after insulting the man, Capt. Bowman had pushed Anthony. Hard. He went flying into his machine hitting the console. His poor body was electrocuted as the emergency systems came to life, the intercom screeched its horrendous noise and the red emergency lights blared. The entire room was set into panic as the machine started smoking and humming loudly. Everyone started running for the exits as The humming grew louder and louder. The resulting explosion blew apart the entire building the laboratory was built on.

------------------------‐----------------------------------------

It was a peaceful morning in Equestria. Birds were chirping, butterflies dancing, and the sun shone down its elegance onto the land. Normally, this would be a morning one would appreciate and smile about, Anthony was no such person. There he was lying motionless on the ground, when the first of the suns rays landed on his face waking him from his slumber.

"Uuuuugh," He groaned, opening his eyes. 'The sky?.... Why am I outside?' He sat up at a speed his body did not agree with, his head pounding in retaliation and his stomach crying out for mercy.

'Oh god, I think I'm gon-' and just like that, what used to be last night's dinner, was violently ejected from his stomach onto the ground to his left. "Yeah, that." He said gasping. He had gotten to his hands and knees, his body screaming at him for the movement. He stayed in that defeated position for a few minutes before using a nearby tree to help him get to his feet.

Hang on a second.

He wiped his eyes clean, just in case he was just seeing things.

Nope, the forest was still there.

...

'Ok, how the hell did I get here? The nearest forest to my sector is more than 100 miles away.' Anthony, still nauseated and sore, tried to recall the events of last night. All he could remember was getting pushed into his machine, this angered the man. "Just you wait asshat, when I get back I'll make sure your next command is with those creepy mother fuckers in sector 11." He fumbled around in the pockets of his coveralls. 'Let's see. Got my car keys, my phone, wallet, soldering kit, my multi-tool, and my plasma cutter. Okay not too bad.' He pulled his phone out. The clock showed that it was 10:45 a.m., and the battery was at 83 percent (the battery should never be under 100). 'Oh great the nuclear battery stopped working. No bars either thank you interstellar mobile, 7g anywhere my ass,' Antony looked around and weighed his options. On one hand he could stand here with his thumb up his ass, or he could try and find out which bar was closest to his locaton. 'No use standing here then,' He thought, and began stumbling from tree to tree slowly making his way deeper into the unknown.

The next few hours had not been nice. Anthony's head had stopped pounding by now, but his body was still sore, and he felt like he was making no progress. He took his phone out again the time stating that it was now 01:38 p.m. and the battery was 92 percent. Questions started flooding his mind. How the hell did a nuclear battery get turned back on? How did it turn off in the first place? Am I even on my planet? Is that tree staring at me?

...

Anthony slowly turned his head to look at the impossible creature to the left of him. Staring right back at him was a wolf like crature that appeared to be made of fallen branches and mixed twigs. Its eyes glowed green and, what could only be tree sap, was frothing from its mouth. The crime to reality itself stood in a lowered stance and started to growl. Antony quickly put his phone away and brought his hands in front of him.

"Good boy, I don't want any trouble. Let's just take things nice and ea-"

He couldn't finish his sentence as all too quickly the monster lunged towards him. Diving out of the way and landing bodily on his stomach, Anthony then made to get up and run. As he was getting up he saw more glowing eyes in front of him, and it was at this time. He knew. He fucked up.

Anthony couldn't think. His mind was busy telling his screaming muscles to shut up and focus on his footing. He was snaking through the trees hoping to lose his pursuers in the forest. He did not know how close he was to those gaping maws. He began to notice the trees thinning and the foliage slowly stopped showing up until he saw a clearing up in front of him. Anthony then did the most stupid thing in his entire life. He looked back, and not even two seconds after turning his head he tripped over something.

Not stopping to look at what he ran into, he kept his eyes on the pack of monsters circling him. He crawled backward until his back was pressed up against a tree. He pulled his plasma cutter out and readied himself, as slowly they made their way toward him, mouths frothing in anticipation. Anthony was out of options and stared wide-eyed at the monsters, his tragic fate looking so clear, before a loud metallic noise was heard, and the wolves ran away.

Anthony sat there, panting, staring, and not believing what had happened. The sound went off again and he felt a familiar vibration in his pocket. Anthony pulled his phone out. Looking at the screen there was a message for an alarm. July 16th, 02:00 pm "Don't forget to call Mom and tell her a happy birthday."

...

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Anthony burst into tears and kissed his phone. He sat there giving thanks to his phone promising to never question anything about it ever again. After his drawn out, and not at all unmanly, apriciations to the machine were given. He turned to face the thing he tripped on that nearly got him killed. "Wha..?" Only to find the body of Capt. Bowman on the ground. A small red light shone from his left breast, a small detail that indicated there was no power.

"How the hell did his antimatter reactor turn off." He quickly pulled out his multitool and started getting the left breast plate off. Looking at the interior of the armor he noted that nothing looked broken, but the reactor was indeed shut off. Anthony went to work on starting the reactor up again. The process took him longer than needed (Anthony being scared shitless handling equipment that could vaporize anything in a 100-mile radius if it went off) but soon the armor sprung to life.

Red holographic lights sprung out spelling the word "deceased" above the officer.

"Jesus Christ. What the hell happened."

Anthony took the helmet off of the officer's hip and put it on. Searching through the helmet's computer he looked at his interstellar map location only to find nothing. "Those monsters were a dead giveaway away I wasn't on my planet, but I never thought I could be so far out of the Imperiums recorded space." Anthony looked again at the dead Marine, "You were an asshole, but you never deserved this."

For the past couple of hours, Anthony was set to remove the officer's armor and attach it to himself manually. Making sure to check his surroundings, not wanting to get jumped by the local wildlife again. Slowly piece by piece he had a full set of military armor on. It had automatically shrunk down to his 5' 4" form (as opposed to Capt. Bowman's 5' 8" form) and ran its diagnostics, all operations seemed normal except the radio comm, 'Must be out of range.' He dragged Capt. Bowman's body into the middle of the clearing and dug him a grave using his plasma cutter to help break away the dirt and rocks. "An IMMC officer. Laid to rest on an unknown planet in an unmarked grave." Anthony couldn't help but feel disgusted.

It was now nighttime for whatever planet he was now stranded on so he decided to just lay against a tree. Confident that the armor would be able to hold up against anything under plasma weaponry. "Goodnight mom, sorry i couldn't call you today," he said to himself. He took one last look at the patch of dirt that held the officer's body and fell asleep.