She's Unreal

by Tardy to The Party

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Drama, Original Character, Mystery
Length: 1813

Two Stallions have a heated midnight talk. The subject? If its a bad thing that one of them can't seem to remember getting a wife.

In a world where war and conflict is being waged seemingly just beyond his busy Mining Town, Iron Rail's problem seems to take up more of his thoughts then impending destruction. Maybe a walk will help him clear his head, and if he meets a friend along the way?

Well, it can’t possibly make things worse?

This is my first story and a love letter to everyone whose worked on a story with me and/or has just been a good friend!
This work is set in the same universe as the story Same Heart, Different Days By DrySpell but largely unconnected.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/538701/same-heart-different-days

Lastly I'd like to thank Some Leech for proofreading this work.

Published 2023-08-27 19:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-08-27 19:30:00 UTC

She’s Unreal

Moving down the gravel path, Iron Rail was lost in deep thought. Should he really be spending the precious time he has to himself just wandering about. For most of the day Iron worked in his town’s mines extracting the very ore of his namesake to feed the war effort. Iron can’t remember a time of true peace, only war, brief armistices then back to more war. He’d hoped the treaty with the griffons he’d heard about many moons ago would’ve helped but a true end to the fighting doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon. Though said war had nothing to do with the conflict that was raging within the young Earth pony’s head.

Looking up from the path, Iron noticed a familiar Pegasus laying on the hill adjacent to the path. Hearing Iron’s heavy steps, Wind Rustle glanced at his friend waving him over.

“Enjoying this lovely night as well, Ronni?”

Iron stopped, the use of his wife’s pet name for him stirring the thoughts that had only a second ago been forgotten.

“Actually, I came out just to think and could you stop calling me that,” Iron demanded while still taking a seat next to the splayed out Stallion.

Wind Rustle may have put on some muscle since starting in the mines but he still possessed a more slender build then the average Stallion, especially comparing Rustle to his own stature. Now feeling his friend's inner turmoil, Rustles asks, “What’s on your mind”?

Iron Rail takes in a breath and lets it out. “I don’t think my Wife is real”

Unable to hold back his laughter Wind Rustle bursts into a fit much to Iron’s unamused face. “That’s what’s got you so glum right now!? What does that even mean? Like she doesn’t love you or something? Or maybe we all just imagined her being at every town function and neighborhood party? I bet you wish it was all in your head when she burned down half your house that one time?!?!?!” Hustle now with his hoof covering his face still in his own world while Iron waited for his so-called friend to finish making a joke of his serious question.

As his laughter died down, Iron cleared his throat and started again. “What I mean is, who is she? I don’t have any memories of her before she just appeared in my house one day.”

Rustle’s laughter was completely dead now mirroring his now perplexed face. “But you said you guys met while she was passing through town and with the war being so close at the time you asked her to marry you. Like ah kinda, life’s too short kinda thing.”

“No, She told you that. She tells that to everyone that asks, including me!” Iron corrected. “My earliest memory of her is stumbling back home after a particularly long shift and she was just there asking if I wanted a bath”.

Hustle then stood up shouting, “WHAT?!?!?” startling Iron. “Some random Mare is in your house pretending to be your wife and you don’t ask any questions like, I don’t know ....WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU?!?!? Hustle now in utter shock at this revelation.”

“It was a tough day, one I don’t think I’ve had in a long time since. I didn’t even realize the window was broken until a whole week la-”

Hustle interjects, “A PROBABLY CRAZED MARE BREAKS INTO YOUR HOUSE THROUGH THE WINDOW AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT ISN’T TO RUN TO THE GUARDS!!!!!”

Hustle shoots up and starts to run towards town to alert the guards. Only getting a couple of feet away before he’s tackled to the ground by Iron Rail.

“Dude, get off!” Hustle yelled being held on the grass in an almost compromising position.

“Look, just promise me you’ll let me explain and I’ll get off you, please!” Iron pleaded from atop his friend.

“Fine, just get off!” Iron then moved off of Hustle allowing him to flop on the grass. As he adjusted himself making sure no feathers were plucked or out of place Hustle looked at his friend with an annoyed glare “What? Is she that good in bed?” he snapped.

Blushing, “No! I mean she isn’t bad, she… It’s not that!” Steadying himself and taking a breath. “She doesn’t seem bad. She’s funny, She helps around the house and her quirk with walking into walls is just so cute. Plus it’s been nice having someone there.”

Rolling his eyes, Hustle sighed “That’s it? That can all be an act. What if she’s just using you? What if she’s one of those Changelers?”

“Changelings?” Iron corrected questioningly.

“Yeah! What if she’s trying to make a foothold in town starting with you? What if she’s already laid her eggs in you and any day now you’ll burst, allowing her to take over the whole town!!!!”

Iron let that picture fester in his head for a moment before beginning his rebuttal. “If all it took to control a town wouldn’t they just release egg-filled prisoners into towns?”

“And now you're thinking like one!!!!” Rustle shouted, slowly making some distance between them.

Shaking his head, Iron continued, “I’m sure if she was a Changeler, I mean Changeling she’d have done a better job at sneaking into town then just breaking into the loneliest Stallions house and insisting she’s his wife.”

“Ok, forgetting she could be a changeling, she is still a random mare that broke into your house. Why not still call the guard?” Hustle said, making his point.

“Because. Because things feel better ok!” Turning his head with wavering eyes, Iron continued. “Back when my Dad was lost in the war my Mom was so sad, so lost, she ended up working herself to death, remember?” Hustle too lowered his head, remembering such a hard time for his friend.

“Looking back now, I think I was headed there too. Maybe not that week or even that month, but I might have just…..but that was before” lifting his head to gaze at the stars. “Before that crazy mare broke into my life. Just her being her, really helped me.”.

“Then why question it at all?” Hustle inquired, confused as to why they were even here if he wanted to keep the lie.

“I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted to make sure someone knew that if I’m just being stupid and something happens to me or the town, someone will know”.

Rustle scrunched his face. “Well it sucks that pony is but I’ll do my best I guess. Ok mister Crazy Horse. Head back home to that crazy or evil mare of yours. I’ll make sure you’re still alive for work tomorrow,” Hustle said, laying back down.

“Thanks, Hussy,” Iron said before trotting away from rocks thrown by his now perturbed friend.

Taking a breath, Iron walked through the front door of his home. It was a modest home once but that was before the unicorn Lemon Butter. Now his house was adorned with family photos both new and old as well as odd knick knacks like an interesting framed leaf or a burnt beam which supported a part of his home before the fire said mare caused. Lemon Butter was asleep on the couch until a loud bang from the basement woke her up. Something Iron never noticed as odd until recently.

“I’m up! I’m….oh. Hey! Where did you go? I made Surprise Soup,” Lemon Butter said pointing to the pot on the stove as well as a bowl prepared for him. The surprise was if the soup was edible or not due to it having different ingredients each time it was prepared. Iron had actually come to love the game that the soup brought, even if he couldn’t waste it and even if it was a bad kind of surprise.

“Sorry, Lemon,” Iron said, walking over and giving her a smooch. “I went for a late night walk to relax before work tomorrow.” That wasn’t a lie really.

“Oh Ronni dear, why not relax another way?” Lemon said with a sultry smile while swishing her tail.

“Maybe tomorrow, I actually wanna get some sleep.” Before heading to bed though, Iron walked up to his wife and placed a hoof on each shoulder, practically leaning on her as he stared into her eyes.

“You’d tell me if you were some crazy monster, right?” As he finished his question, the door to the basement began to creak open before Lemon used he magic to close it again. The sound of the door caused Iron to turn his head.

“What was-“

“Wow! You must be pretty tired then.” Lemon Butter sped as she rushed her Husband to their room. “Asking odd questions like that, now get some sleep you wouldn’t want to converse with the rocks in the morning!” Practically throwing him in. “I’m also gonna barricade the door to make sure you get some sleep.” With the fridge now firmly blocking the door, Lemon turned to the basement door and opened it. Taking a couple steps down and shutting the door.

“Are you soft in the shell? Why did you open the door? I had the perfect response to that,” Lemon whisper-screamed

“A response to rival the perfect idea to barricade him in the room? Who is the real Soft Shell?” the darkness answered. If he’s asking questions it’s only a matter of time. Your luck as plentiful as it’s been is starting to run dry. I’d rather die in battle than to be caught and tortured in a cell.”

“It’s not luck, I’m the best at-“

“The best Grafter maybe but you didn’t want that job. No! You wanted to be a-”

“Need I remind you that you're alive because of me you meathead and don’t start with me failing and getting us tortured. If it wasn’t for me puppeting your almost comatose body to safety you would’ve rotted on that battlefield or worse. SO IF ANYONE IS A FAILURE IT'S YOUR WORTHLESS PATHETIC LITTLE…..I’m sorry,” he sighed, placing her hoof to her mouth and catching her breath.

“I’ve never heard you yell like that,” the darkness answered a bit shook. From the darkness a holed black hoof emerged. Lemon met it with her own.

“I’m so sorry, I guess his question rattled me too. We’re in this together. We’ll see how tomorrow turns out, if this can’t be salvaged, then I wanna do it,” Lemon said, hardening her gaze.

“Are you certain you can do it this time?” the darkness asked, retracting its hoof.

“I’ll do what I must,” Lemon said, turning determinedly followed by her slamming horn first into the closed basement door, getting herself stuck. Lemon began to flail about trying to dislodge herself from the impromptu horn trap.

“Sometimes you make me wish I was an Exploder,” said the darkness, shaking their unseen head.