Worst Waitress

by gapty

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie, Spike, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3223

During a vacation to Rock Height, a tourist town through and through, Twilight Sparkle encounters Trixie Lulamoon as a waitress—and Trixie provides the worst service imaginable.

During a vacation to Rock Height, a tourist town through and through, Twilight Sparkle encounters Trixie Lulamoon as a waitress—and Trixie provides the worst service imaginable.

Huge thanks to RB_ for prereading and to PseudoBob Delightus for proofreading this fic!

Published 2023-08-26 22:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-08-26 22:50:00 UTC

Worst Waitress

Trixie stomped over to the customer and threw the tray of food on the table. “Here’s your slop, whiner. Now shut up. Trixie doesn’t want to hear any more of your screeching!”

With a flick of her tail and an upward thrust of her snout, she turned and walked away with finality.

“Um, excuse me, you forgot—” the customer called, but without looking back, Trixie used her magic to snatch a napkin off his table and stuff it into his mouth.

With a long exhale, she smiled widely. “At last, peace.”

The other customers cheered with one mare even putting her hooves in her mouth and giving a loud whistle.

Trixie almost fell into her magician’s habit to bow before the crowd, but caught herself just in time and made a threatening glance.

The room went dead silent.

“Who dares whistle at Trixie?” she asked, eyeing up the culprit.

The mare pressed her lips together, while the others at her table hid their giggles behind their hooves.

Without warning, Trixie took the mare’s plate, and left the room.

The customers broke into a thunderous applause.

Everypony needed a vacation, even Princess Twilight Sparkle. In her case, it was one enforced by Spike and her pony friends, who rescheduled all her meetings without telling her, but it was a vacation nonetheless.

The one week trip included traveling by a train to Rock Height, a town with a nearby mountain hike through a pine forest that ended with an astonishing sight of a waterfall park. Twilight had heard of this quite famous place before, so she was excited for it.

However, her plans were disrupted when a thick fog arrived, making it so that one couldn’t see a hoof in front of one’s face.

“Aw,” she muttered, looking out the window from a hotel, the landscape totally obscured. “And I was so excited.”

“Don’t worry,” Spike responded, watching through the brochure. “This town is a tourist attraction through and through. They opened a funfair this month, they've got a shopping center with cafes and restaurants, they even have a history museum and a—”

Before Spike could finish his sentence, Twilight ripped the brochure from his claws and looked through the pictures herself. “A museum showing the history and culture of this town? Spike, get ready. We’re leaving in ten minutes!”

“Of course the museum.” Spike rolled his eyes, but giggled softly.

“…and by adding fences to meet safety standards, mayor Pitch Throw made the hiking path official, thus starting the tourist boom in Rock Height.”

Twilight listened to the monotonous voice of the museum guide pony with huge interest. The class of little fillies next to her didn’t share that passion, but instead were either fighting their urge to fall asleep where they stood, or staring at the princess with wide eyes.

Meanwhile, Spike was busy staring at the crystal mine diorama and licking his lips.

“This concludes the museum tour. I hope it was interesting and you learned a lot,” the guide pony finished, his voice still monotone.

“I did!” Twilight responded with a cheerful smile. “But I had a few questions regarding the economical influence of the crystal mines.”

The guide pony’s eyes widened in shock, and he glanced at an imaginary watch. “Ehm, sorry, but… my shift is over in… right now!”

“Aw, maybe next time,” Twilight replied. “Do you have some suggestions for where I should go to learn more?”

He exhaled in relief before rubbing his head. “Well, you could watch the theater show in two hours. It's about the mine workers' conflicts from the past—or something.”

“That’s great! Spike, write that down,” Twilight commanded.

“Hungry…” Spike muttered, practically drooling over the fake crystals.

Twilight took a glance at the time. “Actually, you’re right. It’s already lunchtime. Let’s go and visit a restaurant first.” She turned back to the guide, who'd almost managed to sneak away. “Do you have a suggestion?”

He gave an exasperated sigh before rubbing his forehead. “I guess Magic's Diner. It’s quite famous around here.”

“This restaurant sure is popular,” Spike commented upon seeing a long queue at the entrance door. “The food here must be pretty good.”

“Don’t forget though, we only have one hour and thirty eight minutes before the show starts,” Twilight reminded him.

Spike waved her off. “Pff, we've got plenty of time.”

“Don’t be so sure of it. With how many ponies there are, it could take a while before we get served. Maybe we should go to a different one?”

“Nah, I wanna know what’s so good about it.”

Twilight nodded in agreement. According to the sign, the restaurant had only opened recently—yet the dining room inside was already half full. She started to worry that they'd arrived too late to get a seat. Luckily, her concerns were unwarranted as the queue moved quickly and they were soon at the reception. She also got a table without any reservation—probably because of her Princess status.

An earth pony led them to their table and gave them the menus. A quick glance left Twilight disappointed. Burgers, hayfries, salads… She should’ve known that 'popular restaurant' just meant casual and overpriced food. There wasn’t even anything that stood out as unique to her.

She decided to push her doubts away and just order some hayfries. Maybe the food was indeed very well made. Luckily for Spike, they even offered some gems to snack on. At least something stood out…

“Need a drink?”

Twilight's ears flinched, and she turned her gaze to another table. She rubbed her eyes and took another look, not believing the sight. Was that Trixie?!

What was she doing here? Wasn’t she a traveling stage magician? Did she go broke?

“I would like a glass of water, please,” the earth pony replied politely.

“Good for you! Trixie doesn’t,” Trixie responded and went to another table.

Twilight’s jaw dropped. Did Trixie seriously just blow off a customer? She was wearing a waitress’ outfit, so there was no doubt she worked here.

“Was that Trixie?” Spike asked, also watching the encounter. “She hasn't changed at all, huh.”

“I don’t get it,” Twilight said. “The earth pony laughed it off, but I don’t think this behavior is acceptable.”

With piqued curiosity, she kept an eye on Trixie, who was walking from table to table. The former magician was too far away for Twilight to hear the words she spoke, but based on some shocked expressions or laughter, it was clear that Trixie wasn't behaving.

At last, Trixie finally went to the counter and took a tray with a glass of water on it, then walked straight to the earth pony who had ordered it.

But Trixie didn’t put the tray down.

“Um, that’s for me,” the earth pony chuckled.

“Take it,” Trixie replied, her expression deadpan.

Realizing that Trixie meant it seriously, the earth pony stood up and reached for the glass, but Trixie stepped back.

“Huh?”

“What’s the problem?” Trixie asked innocently.

“Well—”

“Trixie told you to take it.”

The earth pony straightened his posture and reached once more for the tray, but Trixie took another step back. He groaned and made another attempt, but to no avail.

“Looks like you don’t want it,” Trixie responded with a click of her tongue and levitated the glass to her mouth, drinking the cup empty in mere seconds. “Honestly, that was some good water. Highly recommended.”

Laughter erupted from the other tables, at which Twilight could only rub her temples in confusion.

This wasn’t Trixie being impolite anymore, this was her bullying the customers of this restaurant. How was this approved? Why did the earth pony just shake his head and go back to his seat with a grin? Did the manager of this restaurant know about Trixie’s behavior?

“That was so mean!” Spike complained. “Twilight, we should do something about her!”

Raising an eyebrow, Trixie gave a glance at him. Her lips formed into a wide smirk as she approached their table.

“Have you already chosen what to eat?” Trixie asked politely, levitating a pencil and notebook out of her pockets.

Twilight took a deep breath. She wanted to address Trixie’s attitude towards the earth pony, but considering how he hadn't complained, she decided to let it pass—for now.

“We did. I’d like two hayfries and two glasses of water. And of course an order of emerald pieces for Spike.”

Trixie nodded as she wrote down in her notebook. However, even when Twilight finished her order, Trixie kept writing and writing.

“Um, Trixie?”

“Do you think it needs more shading?” Trixie asked, turning the notebook around and showing, instead of an order, a sketch of herself.

Twilight didn’t know how to reply. Trixie seemed completely serious, as she didn’t show any sign of a smile, but the ponies in neighboring tables broke out in laughter.

Spike couldn’t hold his anger anymore and beat his fists on the table. “We told you what we ordered, Trixie!”

“What do I look like? Your waitress?” With a roll of her eyes, she threw the notebook on the table. “Write it yourself.”

“That’s it!” Twilight exclaimed and stood up, flaring her wings. “You, Trixie, have gone too far!”

The room went silent as every pair of eyes locked in their direction. Trixie, in her years of practiced confidence, didn’t back up but simply turned around, yelling, “Lightning, prepare the meal for these two special guests. They’re mine.”

As soon as Trixie said that, all the other patrons started whispering to each other, making quick glances at Twilight and Spike.

“Um, what’s going on?” Spike asked Twilight as Trixie walked away. “Why is everypony acting so weird?”

“I don’t know, Spike,” Twilight responded, returning to her seat. “I don’t know.”

The cooks had skipped straight to Twilight and Spike’s order—Twilight could tell, as another table had ordered their hayfries before them. Seeing Trixie carrying the tray to them with a suppressed grin, Twilight expected trouble.

She had tried to call for a different waiter or waitress, but was ignored. It seemed that when Trixie said that she and Spike were hers, everypony else simply accepted it.

“Here you go,” Trixie said with a monotone voice, laying the tray on the table. “Two hayfries and two cups of water.”

“And the gems?” Spike asked.

“They’re still being cooked.”

Spike scratched his head. “But you don’t cook—”

“Ketchup or mayonnaise?" Trixie interrupted, raising two bottles in the air with her horn.

“For me, ketchup,” Twilight replied.

The red bottle hovered above her plate and gave two tiny drops of ketchup. Trixie then abruptly turned around and left for another table.

“But that’s not eno—” Twilight objected, but had to duck when the ketchup bottle was thrown at her. “What was that?”

Trixie walked away.

“And I wanted mayonnaise…” Spike complained, then grabbed a hayfry and took a bite. “Mhm, still, not bad!”

Clenching her teeth, Twilight turned to another passing waitress. “Excuse me, could you please call the manager for me?”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, “but you’re not my table.”

“That doesn’t make sense!” Twilight groaned in frustration, getting a few laughs from other tables in return. “And why are you laughing at me?”

No one responded.

Despite the awful service, Twilight had to admit that the food was indeed very good. Even Spike couldn’t stop eating from his plate despite his grumpy face. However, she intended to personally complain to the manager, even if she had to use her princess status to do it.

When Trixie finally reappeared, Twilight bit her lip.

“Your gems are ready,” Trixie said, sounding annoyed.

“Finally! What took you so—ugh!”

While Spike spoke, Trixie levitated one and stuffed it into his mouth.

That was the last straw for Twilight. Her horn lit up and a magic beam hit Trixie.

“Ouch!” Trixie exclaimed.

“If you don’t want to act polite,” Twilight said, her voice threatening, “then I will teach you manners!”

“Manners?” Trixie responded, her voice angry.

“Yes, manners!” Twilight retorted. “As a waitress, you can’t treat your customers like this!”

“Yes, I can!” Trixie shouted. “Why else would anypony come here?”

Twilight opened her mouth for a fiery response, but stopped as something inside her mind clicked. “They come—” She gulped. “—because of you?”

“Yes, Sparkle. The meaner Trixie is, the bigger the tip. They want her to act like this!”

“Oooh…” Spike chuckled nervously. “So being rude is your role? Now it makes sense!”

“Yes, genius!” Trixie responded. “And now the act is broken. Congratulations, you've ruined the fun for everypony here!” She turned around and stomped away.

Twilight lowered her head in shame, feeling the annoyed stare of everypony in the room. Spike put a comforting hand around her shoulder, but Twilight saw the guilt written in his face.

Performing in Rock Height had proven to be a wise decision: With groups of tourists always visiting, Trixie’s magic show had never had such a large audience as it did today. On top of admissions, she'd received some very generous tips from rich ponies, which surpassed her average monthly income in most other towns.

However, law enforcement threw a monkey wrench into her plans—as usual. Trixie hadn’t had to buy a performance license before, but with this town being a tourist trap, the fines for not having one were immense. Her wagon was confiscated on the spot and she wasn’t allowed to leave town until she’d pay her fines.

Thus, with much reluctance, Trixie was forced to take a job as a waitress.

She hated every moment of it.

Forced smiles, always being in a hurry, and remaining polite with impatient and rude customers; her frustration with the job grew more and more. But she stuck with it just to get her wagon back as soon as possible so she could leave this rotten place of bureaucratic exploitation.

However, there was only so much anger Trixie could keep bottled up inside.

“What do you mean the soup is ‘undercooked’?” Trixie retorted. “First it was too spicy, then it was too cold, and now this?”

“Well, it is,” the old mare replied, wrinkling her nose. “Make me a new one!”

“No.”

Several ponies in the room went silent, watching the scenery before them. Trixie didn’t care.

“I beg your pardon?” the mare asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“When Trixie says ‘no’, she means ‘no’!” Trixie esponded firmly. “She knows exactly what you’re doing. You complain about the food, but you eat half of it every time, just so you don't have to pay for anything.”

“Well I never!” the mare exclaimed with a gasp. “Are you calling me, the wife of a factory owner, a cheapskate?”

“Exactly, cheapskate.”

“I demand to speak to a manager!”

“Really?” Trixie gave a wide grin. “Because you’re speaking to one right now.”

That was a lie. Trixie knew that all this would result in her getting fired, but she didn’t care anymore. All she wanted was to teach this rich, self-important cheapskate with fake jewelry a lesson.

“This is insufferable!” the mare yelled. “I will never eat here again!”

“Oh, please, no! Who else will get on her nerves?” Trixie replied with obviously fake shock, before she returned to her angry expression. “Trixie hopes to never see your face around here again!”

“I’m leaving!”

“Not without paying!”

“I didn’t eat anything!”

“Yes, you did!”

“No, I didn’t!”

Trixie’s face was already red from rage, and this was her last straw. Her horn lit up and several napkins connected themselves to a rope in the air, bounding the mare on her seat.

“Let me go!” the mare shouted.

Instead, Trixie raised the bowl of soup up to the mare's face and spoonfed her—literally. Nopony intervened—whether it was surprise, fear, or just gawking, Trixie neither knew nor cared.

Once the bowl was empty, Trixie finally freed the old mare and slapped the bill onto the table with a wide grin. “Now you ate it.”

Of course Trixie was fired on the spot. What else was to be expected?

Nonetheless, she was angry at the decision and blamed it on everypony except herself. Why couldn’t her customers show the least amount of decency? Why was the owner so obsessed with reputation when this cheapskate clearly only wanted to get free food? How would she get her wagon back now?

“Hey, Trixie!”

Flinching her ears, Trixie turned her gaze to a pegasus mare. “What?” she asked, sounding annoyed.

“I heard about how you put that rich old mare in her place.”

Tilting her head, Trixie tried to figure out from the pegasus’s expression whether she was being sarcastic.

“The truth is, everypony in the food service knows and hates her,” the pegasus continued.

“So what?” Trixie asked. “I’m fired. Nopony else will hire me after what I just did.”

“I will.”

Trixie squinted her eyes. “Why?”

“Because there are too many restaurants in Rock Height. Mine doesn’t stick out from the rest. However, if you work at my place…”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Why would anypony want Trixie to serve them?”

“Because that will be our business idea! Not only do you provide terrible service, you’re even rude to them!”

“That’s stupid. No one would want that!” Trixie responded with a groan. What was the pegasus even thinking?

“Oh, trust me,” the mare said, her expression as serious as it could be. “If they come for bad service, they will love it, especially with somepony as terrible as you—ehm, in a good way, of course!”

Trixie rubbed her chin. An opportunity to be rude to these annoying customers and get paid for it? That sounded too good to miss out on!

A smile spread across her face. “Alright, Trixie accepts it,” she responded.

“So that’s how you came to this job!” Spike commented.

“Yeah, Trixie just told you!” Trixie responded with a groan.

“Nonetheless, we’re at fault,” the owner of this restaurant said. “We tried to make sure every guest knew about Trixie’s role, but since it was so successful, there was no need anymore—at least that’s what we thought.”

“And I’m also very, very sorry,” Twilight replied. “I should’ve guessed from the other ponies’ reactions that it wasn't meant seriously.”

“But that still begs the question of why you targeted Her Highness,” the pegasus asked, turning to Trixie. “We agreed that you don’t pick on anypony who isn’t in the know.”

Trixie chuckled nervously. “Um… about that…”

“You knew I wasn’t aware?” Twilight shouted, flying closely after Trixie’s tail.

“She’s sorry, she’s sorry!” Trixie yelled, trying to dodge the many beams of magic aimed at her. “Trixie promises to pay for your next meal!”

“I don’t need a free meal!” Twilight cried, shooting another magic beam at her. “You made me look like a fool!”

“How about a free magic show?” Getting hit, Trixie jumped in pain. “Ouch!”

Meanwhile, a big crowd had gathered on the streets, watching the chase with great interest. The owner of the Magic’s Diner used this opportunity to prepare tables outside and serve the guests with food and drinks.

Money should be made with every opportunity, after all—especially here in the small tourist town of Rock Height.

Author's Note

If someone wasn't aware of it, "Magic's Diner" is a reference to Karen's Diner :trixieshiftright: