Ghuzrod Sunrekka Becomes Da Biggest 'n Smartest!
Interlude One Part One
Previous ChapterNext Chapter“Alright ya gitz, quit yer shovin’,” I bellowed, pulling a giggling ork out of the train car.
“But boss. Zippy turned himself inside out again,” complained the ork I was dragging by his ear.
“Twilight, can you turn Zippy right side in?” I shouted, resisting the urge to groan in annoyance.
“I'z fine. Da air jus stings a little, iz all," declared the skinless ork stepping out of the car. “And walkin'. That urts alot too.”
“On it boss,” Twilight interrupted.
I shook my head and walked over to the edge of the station to better observe the entire debacle from a better vantage. The orks were piling out of the cars in a semi-orderly fashion, acting more like unruly children out on a field trip than bloodthirsty alien killers. Naturally, they clustered around what few of their midst had achieved whatever small modicum of magical mastery possible.
Eventually, these groups would evolve into small mobs with a head mage serving as their leader but that would take time. For now, they were like annoying teenagers, bothering everyone they crossed paths with and generally having the attention span of a gnat. Twilight and Rainbow Dash were doing a good job of corralling them but Trixie was only making things worse.
Already the showboating mare was acting more orky than I had expected. Though subordinate to Twilight, Trixie eagerly gathered the majority of the magic-capable orks around her. There they acted like the toadies of a high school bully while at the same time, the mare herself was the biggest teacher's pet imaginable. The moment Twilight demanded something happen Trixie and her entourage were there to help. That all fell apart after they were left to their own devices for too long, however, as evidenced by the ork currently carving his name followed by ‘wuz here’ in one of the posts. This wouldn't be a problem but the dumbass was cutting so deep into the wood that the structural integrity of the entire structure was suffering.
“Oi, you lot! Quit bother'n da station managa an get yer butts 'n gear. We're headed into town," I shouted, shaking my fist at the pair of orks curiously inspecting the unflappable older stallion who was attempting to do his job.
“Its quite alright. I have four boys myself so I am quite used to it,” the orderly pony replied.
“I like his funny clicky fing. It's pretty," one ork muttered.
“Dats a watch ya idiot. It tells da time," the other ork retorted, slapping the first one upside the head.
“How duz it do ‘dat without a mouth?" Shot back the first speaker.
I rolled my eyes and turned back to a quickly approaching Twilight.
“Ya said ‘da town hall was empty right?” I half asked, half stated.
“Uh yes, that is the case,” Twilight replied. “Mayor Mare lost the majority of her staff after the first time a group of orks wandered through town looking for a fight. Since then she’s been operating out of her mayoral bunker.”
I blinked and raised an eyebrow.
“Hey, I didn't know we had a bunker either. I don't think anyone’s paid attention to the town budget in nearly three decades,” Twilight exclaimed.
“Dats concernin’, but not our problem,” I muttered. “We’ll move 'der for now. Go get permission while I get everyone settled ‘n."
“Is it still asking permission if you’ve already done it?” Twilight shot back, a small smirk on her face.
“Details, details,” I retorted, waving off her concern.
“I’ll meet you at the town hall then,” Twilight replied before trotting off.
“Roight. Now to gather up these gitz,” I murmured.
“Can I do it?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Oh uh sure,” I murmured, having forgotten that the pony had been at my side almost the entire time. “If ya fink ya can.”
Rainbow Dash just chuckled. “I got this.”
“Alright, you lousy no good bunch of washouts!” Rainbow Dash shouted, immediately getting the attention of every ork present, as well as Trixie. “We’re moving out! Follow me, don't stray from the group, and don't embarrass the boss or so help me I’ll make you run so many laps you’ll puke blood!”
Any doubt I had that the small mob of unruly orks would be opposed to being ordered around by a pony vanished immediately. The motley crew of mostly morons assembled into something close to a column within a few short seconds, their meager belongings carried on their backs or tucked under one arm. Even Trixie was standing in line, her mouth finally closed, at least for the moment anyway.
“Foward, march!” Rainbow Dash bellowed.
Following Rainbow Dash’s lead, I strode ahead of the pack, the pony close to my right side. A glance over my shoulder confirmed that the orks were dutifully following along. Though their marching coordination could use a little work, they were at least not wandering off again.
“Nice job,” I whispered. “Where’d ya learn dat?”
“I took over for Spitfire for a summer,” Rainbow Dash answered, her tone hushed. “Even earned a spot as backup drill sergeant should that old bird finally take another vacation.”
“Like dat’s gunna happen," I remarked.
Rainbow Dash snorted in amusement.
I strode down the main thoroughfare of Ponyville, a smile on my face. My first mission was a complete success, and things were looking up. Adding to this soaring sense of hope was the presence of Ponyville’s residents.
Far from fleeing in terror like I had thought they’d do the majority of those we passed looked on at the passing posse of orks with something akin to amusement. Friendly waves were returned though I noted that no one was quite bold enough to approach or say hello. A few ponies were hiding behind locked doors or shade-drawn windows, but this was a big first step for the naturally skittish creatures.
Nearing the end of our walk, and with the town hall looming tall before us I made another realization.
The proportions of this place were ridiculous.
Why did such a tiny town need such a massive structure? The main floor had ten-foot-tall ceilings, a statement made stranger by the fact that ponies were like, two feet tall at most. The second and third stories were also just as big and had their own balconies. It was only the fourth, and I assumed the fifth floors that were smaller.
Located in the center of town and easily twice the size of the second largest building, this was the perfect temporary headquarters slash wizard tower.
“Makes for a good base, eh?” Rainbow Dash prompted.
“Mmhmm,” I rumbled, nodding.
“You can see almost the entire province from atop that tower,” Rainbow Dash noted. “If I moor my cloud home up there then we’ll really be able to use it as a good lookout.”
“Gud dink'n. But kan it be reinforced so we don't need cloud walk'n dingies?" I asked.
“Oh yeah. I’ll have to get another pegasus to help me but with a bit of extra cumulus clouds we could make it into a tiny floating fort,” Rainbow Dash declared.
“Hmmm,” I murmured. “You sure dat’s okay?”
Rainbow Dash stiffened for a moment before nodding.
“If it means Ponyville is safer, then that's a sacrifice I am happy to make. Besides, maybe now I’d be able to finally sleep in my old bed,” Rainbow Dash added.
I nodded slowly, leaving that particular conversation for another time. For now, I had to focus on my growing army as we were finally at our destination.
“Roight!” I bellowed, stopping abruptly and turning around on my heel. “Dis iz gonna be yer new home. I want yer lot ta get dis place reinforced an' remodeled ta serve as our new base uv operations.”
I snapped my fingers and pointed down at the lone unicorn in the crowd.
“Trixie,” I began. “Ya are 'n charge uv dis little operation. Don't mess it up now, got it?"
“Yes boss!” She shouted, only to blink in confusion. “Why did the great and powerful Trixie just say that?”
“Ya'll be work'n wit' Twilight on dis while also train'n ‘da rest uv ‘da orks ‘n magic. Twilight will also be 'n charge when Iz gone so do wot she says. An 'dat goes double for ya lot! I don't want ta hear any grumbl'n from ya," I snapped, turning my attention to the gathered orks and making sure to glare at them.
“You’ze got it, boss!” Declared another of the orks followed by a round of nodding or shouting in agreement.
“Good. Now get to it you lot,” I snapped, gesturing over my shoulder.
Trixie and the rest of the orks piled inside, rushing past me and immediately making a ruckus. I ignored the rowdy orks getting to work and looked out in the direction of where I assumed Sweet Apple Acres was located.
“Ya really think it's wise to leave Trixie in charge of that?” Rainbow Dash prodded.
“If she isn't ‘n charge uv anyth'n she’s gunna be ornery an' unruly. Best ta give ‘er small tasks ta keep ‘er busy. Besides, Twilight iz too responsible ta let Trixie do anyth'n too stupid," I dismissed with a wave of my hand.
“True. So what's next on the docket?” Rainbow Dash pressed, following my gaze.
“Provisions,” I declared. “Gonna need Applejack’s help.”
“Good thinking.”
The sound of approaching hooves drew my attention down to Twilight.
“The hall is ours,” declared the orkized unicorn. “After hearing about our plan Mayor Mare handed me the deed and closed the door on my face.”
“She had the deed? But isn't that town property?” Rainbow Dash muttered, scratching her head.
“Once this is all over and done with I am going to have to take a long look through the town’s books,” Twilight murmured bitterly.
“Fer now I got a job fer ya,” I exclaimed. “Ya'll be 'n charge uv fortify'n dis place, teach'n 'da orks magic, learn'n magic yourself an’ ta top it all off, start'n a research an’ development group.”
“That's quite the set of responsibilities,” Rainbow Dash remarked.
“Nothing I can't handle… provided I have Spike’s help that is,” Twilight murmured. “I really should get him from Rarity’s. I can feel a list coming on.”
“Dat can wait,” I interrupted. “I had some questions furst."
“Oh uh okay. Shoot,” Twilight offered.
“Do ya have some kind uv powda dat kan 'plode?” I asked. “Like fireworks. Wut’s in dat?”
“This is for that, gun project you talked about on the train, right?” Twilight offered, to which I nodded. “Right, no I don't think that's going to work.”
“But why though?” Rainbow Dash pressed. “From the sounds of things it's just a refined version of the stuff in fireworks.”
“It's called magepowder,” Twilight began, taking on a scholarly tone like she was teaching someone very young. “And if it's in that small a place the most it could do would be to make a bright flash. Provided you enchanted it with a light spell.”
“So you need lots?” I pressed.
“You would need a charge about the size of a bottle rocket,” Twilight declared. “But you can't go too big otherwise it becomes inert again.”
“How much kan yer get 'n wun kontaina before dis becomes an issue?" I continued, scratching my chin.
“About this much,” Twilight began, measuring a space between her hooves roughly about as tall as a regular pony. “At that size, it gets really heavy though and most propellants don't work.”
“You know a lot about this kinda thing,” Rainbow Dash pointed out.
“I uh… may have read a considerable amount on pyrotechnics after being placed in charge of that first summer sun celebration,” Twilight admitted.
“Dats great,” I declared.
“It is?” Twilight murmured. “But I thought that wouldn't work for your gun thingies though?”
“It means we kan make artillery shells,” I proclaimed. “How did dey launch dese fings?"
“A pair of enchanted boards that had a directional force multiplier added to them,” Twilight answered. “Though it was only used once before Celestia asked them not to repeat the performance. At the time she said it was to make it more special but I asked her about it years later and she said that it had too many negative applications.”
“Makes sense,” I rumbled. “Kould yer replicate it?"
“Theoretically,” Twilight muttered, only to wince. “But are you sure that is wise? I’m not sure I follow Celestia’s reasoning but she is very wise.”
“Trust me, we are gunna need it,” I retorted sternly.
“We are going to be having some really big fights, aren't we?” Rainbow Dash inquired.
I nodded.
“Wow. Okay, I kind of assumed this was a possibility but I’m still a little sad that here we are,” Twilight exclaimed.
“It will get worse,” I continued. “Before all ‘da fight'n' iz throo, ya will see horrors ‘da likes uv which dis planet ‘as neva seen before."
“That's… grim,” Twilight muttered.
“Dark, too,” Rainbow Dash added.
I rolled my eyes and groaned.
“Wot about a mana gun? Someth'n 'dat fires a koncentrated beam uv powa at a foe?" I pressed, ignoring the slightly concerned expressions on the pony’s faces.
“We talked a bit about that on the train,” Twilight picked up. “I gave it a bit of thought since then and I think it's possible but I doubt the output would be quite on the scale that you were hoping for.”
“Oh, you are talking about the light staves right?” Rainbow Dash suddenly offered.
“Uh yes? How do you know about that?” Twilight asked.
“Pfft, military history is like the only cool part of history,” Rainbow Dash dismissed.
“Wot iz dis staff?” I pressed.
“It's this wicked cool staff the ancient unicorns made to fight pegasi raiders. It barely did anything to anyone with metal armor, but if you hit a wing you could burn off important feathers and knock the pegasus out of the sky,” Rainbow Dash excitedly answered.
“I saw a few in a museum and was even able to handle an original Celestia keeps in her study,” Twilight added.
“Make a bunch an’ see if yer kant make it more powerful," I ordered.
“I don't know,” Twilight murmured. “Apparently the design was iterated on plenty but no one was able to make it useful against anything other than bare skin.”
“Don't sell yourself short Twilight,” Rainbow Dash began. “You’re way smarter than all those walking antiques.”
“I appreciate that Rainbow Dash but I doubt that very much,” Twilight exclaimed tiredly.
“Do yer best,” I added.
“I can do that much,” Twilight admitted.
“Roight,” I began again, clapping my hands together. “Twilight, yer in charge. Rainbow, let's go chat wit’ Applejack.”
“Oh is that it?” Twilight pressed.
“Fer now,” I replied. “Dere will be more. But dat’s it fa now.”
“Well alright then. I’ll go get started. After I grab Spike, bring all my supplies to the hall and…” Twilight paused and tapped her chin. “I’ll also have to secure enough lab space but the basement of the hall should be enough.”
I watched as the unicorn trotted away muttering to herself, no doubt already coming up with a long list of things she’ll need to do.
“Okay, so Applejacks?” Rainbow Dash offered.
“Eeyup,” I declared.
I hummed softly to myself, enjoying the quiet moment and pleasant scenery. A voice in my head was eager to point out that this beautiful landscape I was enjoying would likely be irrevocably changed by the coming conflict. It was a dark thought, and one I quickly shoved away, focusing purely on relishing the relative silence of the ill-used dirt road.
The colors, the smells, the sound, I drank it all in, pressing these precious moments in time deep into my memories.
“Nice afternoon, hmm?” Rainbow Dash offered.
I grunted and bobbed my head in agreement.
“Shame it's probably gonna end up all messed up soon,” Rainbow Dash added.
“I was dinkin ‘da same fing," I remarked. “When it's done doe we'll put it all back. Every last bush, tree an squirrel.”
“And every last apple tree,” Rainbow Dash added.
“And every last…” I murmured, my gaze lingering on a rather large apple tree that stood out from the rest. “Were dey always dat big?"
“What are you- oh uh no,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I’d tell ya what I know but Applejack could probably explain it better.”
“Mmm, okay,” I rumbled.
My gaze lingered on the apple tree a little longer, my brain noting that it was twice as large as its nearest peers. It also had twice as many apples, and each of these apples were easily twice as large as a normal apple. They also had faint, glowing green veins running up from its base, the strange lines pulsing every few seconds like a slow, steady heartbeat.
“Weird,” I murmured before finally looking away.
Rainbow Dash and I passed between the gate a moment later before making our way up the main path leading to the Apple family home. As we walked I noticed that a fair few trees had been mutated like the one I had seen earlier. Some were slightly larger, while others were shorter but still clearly mutated, with there being no pattern to how this strange affliction spread.
“Get back here ya varmint!” Shouted a familiar if slightly altered voice. “That ain't for eating!”
“It's an apple, apples are for eating!” Yelled back the shrill voice of Apple Bloom.
Coming to a stop, we watched as the youngest Apple sibling sprinted out of the barn, with a large bright green, and slightly glowing, apple stuck into her bow. Close behind her was the middle apple sibling, Applejack, the mare slightly altered by her exposure to my mutating blood though she was still easily recognizable. She had larger teeth than Rainbow Dash, her already green eyes were greener still, and her hair had faint streaks of emerald. Other then that she was a bit taller, a bit stockier, and seemed more muscled than the last time I had seen her.
“Not them apples!” Applejack shouted. “We still don't know what them crazy things’ll do if ya eat them!”
“They’ll fill my belly is what they’ll do!” Apple Bloom shot back only to come to a screeching halt and stare up at me with wide, curious eyes. “Oh wow, mister. You sure are tall.”
“Strong too,” I added, flexing a bicep.
“Showing off? I think I might be rubbing off on you,” Rainbow Dash prodded, bumping my side.
“I’ll be taking that,” Applejack exclaimed, grabbing the apple from the distracted Apple Bloom. “Thanks for the hoof, er hand there Ghuzrod. This little critter was gettin' into the weird apples again.”
“I can't say I blame her. They taste amazing,” Rainbow Dash added.
“Even Rainbow Dash has tried one? Why can't I have just one little bite? That's no fair,” whined the pony child.
“Dats cus she ain't a normal pony and that was true before we all ended up a little orky,” Applejack exclaimed with a chuckle.
“True. I was like, in the tenth percentile of awesomeness,” Rainbow Dash declared.
“May I?” I asked, gesturing to the apple.
“Oh uh sure thing. Gotta warn ya though. We still haven't done much testing on em so I can't guarantee they taste any good. Or won't turn ya into a slug or something,” Applejack added.
“I’ll take ma chances,” I exclaimed.
Taking the offered apple, I bit into it and was immediately rewarded with a burst of flavor. It was good, really good but it was also very very strange. Though inititally sweet, and slightly tangy like an apple that was on the cusp of being ripe, it quickly gained an umami flavor not unlike heavily seasoned meat. Beef specifically, with the flavor being relatively close to a steak, albeit one basted in apple sauce or perhaps served with a side of applesauce.
It was a strange combination that worked far better then you may think.
“That good eh?” Applejack remarked. “Maybe I should try sellin’ these weird things.”
I ignored the comment and devoured the rest of the apple, stem and all. After swallowing the final shreds and sucking down the lingering juice, I looked down at a grinning Rainbow Dash.
“Told ya it was good,” pointed out the mare.
“I need as many uv dese as yer kan give me," I declared.
“Slow down there partner,” Applejack retorted, holding up a hoof. “I’m not even sure I wanna sell these things.”
“But Applejack, business is already down. What on account of everypony running for the hills after them orks showed up,” Apple Bloom replied.
“I have a garrison uv soldiaz ‘n need uv rations an’ dese... dese are perfect," I exclaimed wholeheartedly.
“Soldiers you say, eh?” Applejack muttered, rubbing her chin. “Having more guards around might make the other townsfolk come back.”
“Not guards, orks,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “The boss here recruited a bunch of spell slingers and Trixie.”
“Can't say I’m too happy to hear that particular varmint is back in town but if she comes along with a bunch of friendly beefcakes that can use magic then it ain't all bad,” Applejack admitted. “Alright, you got a deal. I’ll give you all the weird apples you want. It ain't like there’s much demand for the regular kind what on account of all the hub bub in the Everfree.”
“And you can test what they do on a bunch of willing volunteers,” Rainbow Dash added.
“That too,” Applejack admitted.
“So does this mean I can try one?” Apple Bloom asked, the filly doing her best doe eyes.
“I fink us orks, an orky poniez should be ‘da only ones ta try it. For now," I offered.
“Aww dangit. And here I thought you were cool,” Apple Bloom muttered.
“All adults are lame. Get used ta it kiddo," I remarked.
“You go on inside now. The lame adults are talking,” Applejack added, shooing Apple Bloom back in the direction of their home.
“Fine,” murmured the foal.
“I’m assuming thats why y'all made the trip down here?” Applejack inquired now that Apple Bloom was out of earshot.
“Pretty much,” Rainbow Dash replied, while I just nodded.
“Well, I suppose it could be worse. At least they ain't going to waste,” Applejack murmured.
“Are the trees hurtin'?” I asked.
“Nah,” Applejack dismissed. “Whatever is makin' them do this it ain't hurtin' ‘em none. I ain't no tree talker like great aunt Matilda, but even I can tell that they are healthier than ever. Happy too. I swear I can almost hear ‘em singin' at night.”
“Are you sure that's not just Granny Smith singing in her sleep again?” Rainbow Dash prodded.
“Granny’s been sleeping so soundly she ain't even been talkin' no more. She don't even wander around either. It's kinda nice,” Applejack answered.
“Huh. Well that's good,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
“Whelp dat’s all I really wanted ta do ere. Rainbow dash, did ya have anyth'n ta add?" I prompted.
“I was just gonna say that I’ll be outta yer hair after tonight. Gonna be staying at the hall from now on,” Rainbow Dash stated.
“Well, that’s nice to hear. Bessy’s been missing her stall something fierce,” Applejack remarked.
“Need a hoof with bringing those apples to town? There were a lot of em. Last I saw.” Rainbow Dash added.
“Nah. I should be able to haul ‘em all by myself,” Applejack dismissed. “Can't say I like the tusks but I sure do enjoy being bigger and stronger then Mac.”
“How's he taking this development by the way? I haven't seen him much recently,” Rainbow Dash pressed.
“With quiet stoicism and plenty of bitter mumbling when no one else’s around,” Applejack replied.
Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“We should fink uv a different name for ‘em dough. Da apples not Big Mac. How about, green delicious?" I offered.
“Not a bad name. We already got red delicious and golden delicious,” Applejack added.
“That doesn't sound half bad,” Rainbow Dash agreed.
“I’ll think about it,” Applejack murmured, rubbing her chin. “I’ll have to see what Granny thinks. She knows the name of every last apple out there.”
“I'll leave it ‘n yer hooves den,” I exclaimed.
“Alrighty then. You guys have fun. I’ll see ya after supper sometime with the apples. Gonna take a bit to get 'em all loaded up,” Applejack explained.
“See ya then,” Rainbow Dash replied.
I gave the mare a wave before departing alongside Rainbow Dash. Together we walked out of the orchard, our heads held high. I was happy to have provisions for my soldiers and though the strange trees were worrying, it seemed to be purely beneficial.
However I still felt a little guilty about perverting the natural beauty of this place.
“I wonder how it would taste if we fried it in a pan with butter,” Rainbow Dash mused aloud.
“Now dat, iz a propa gud idea,” I declared.
Rainbow Dash grinned, raising her nose a little higher into the air.
As we walked back, we either basked in the light praise like in Rainbow Dash’s case or you were me and were working out all the ways these new apples could be used in baking.
“I wonder what would happen if we candied them,” I whispered to myself.
I had thought up the thirteenth thing I wanted to try with the new apples when I heard the rapid clopping of approaching hooves. Looking up, I saw Pinkie Pie and Rarity approaching, both were distraught but neither appeared to be on the brink of panic. They also looked the least changed of the mane six, with Rarity having downward pointed tusks that barely poked over her bottom lip while Pinkie Pie seemed completely unchanged save for a slight green glow to her eyes. Which was perhaps the weirdest shift out of all of them, now that I was thinking about it.
Rainbow Dash noticed the two points at about this point as well, and we both moved a little quicker, meeting them halfway.
“Oh thank goodness we’ve found you,” Rarity exclaimed. “We’ve received dreadful news.”
“We gotta go on a rescue mission!” Pinkie Pie blurted out.
“Your parents I presume?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I remember you girls talking about them earlier and that you were both waiting on a letter.”
“Yes, we received word from the guard that they’ve abandoned the town of Appaloosa. Which was where my mother and father were staying,” Rarity replied.
“And that means the rock farm too!” Pinkie Pie added. “We gotta go check on them!”
“Got a bad feeling?” I inquired.
Pinkie Pie eagerly bobbed her head. “Super bad!”
“I was hoping we’d have at least a day until we had to leave again but it looks like we won't get the chance,” Rainbow Dash murmured.
“We will,” I retorted. “If ‘da guard left, ‘da trains wont be runn'n which means we need alternate transport.”
“Oh yeah. I didn't even think about that,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
“Then what are we going to do?” Rarity exclaimed, voice tinged with barely contained panic.
“You are gunna sew me a few uniforms while Pinkie Pie ere makes us a trukk," I declared with a grin.
“Ooh, boy! I haven't made any new inventions in months! This is awesome!” Pinkie Pie proclaimed.
“I am not opposed to doing some work for you. It seems only fair given what I’m asking you to do. However I must ask, why uniforms?” Rarity asked.
“'Cos furst impressions are important," I began, only to frown. “'Dat an’ I ripped dese pants like two hours ago an’ its start'n ta get drafty down 'der.”
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