We Need to Make Sure Anon is Still Single
"We'll meet back here at six, okay?"
"I'll be there. Good luck, Shining."
Shining Armor and Cadance share a hug before parting ways. It's Hearts and Hooves Day, and the two have decided to go on a date in Ponyville to celebrate. They do this pretty much every year, and it always makes for a fun time. Unfortunately, their dinner reservation got a bit screwed up, and now Shining has to spend the rest of the afternoon getting that sorted out. In the meantime, Cadance intends to pay the Castle of Friendship a visit.
She has some very important business to attend to there.
With an enthusiastic knock on the castle doors, she is greeted by smiling visage of her sister-in-law, Twilight Sparkle. The two share a brief hug and do their typical "sunshine, sunshine" greeting before Cadance is let inside.
"I'm surprised to see you here, Cadance. Didn't you and Shining Armor have dinner plans?"
"We did, but they got a bit messed up. He's trying to fix that as we speak."
"I'm sorry to hear that. What could have happened to make the restaurant screw up THE princess of love's reservation on Hearts and Hooves Day?"
"I don't really know. Something about a bunch of loitering teenagers and a disorganized mailmare."
"What do those have to do with your reservation?"
"Your guess is as good as mine."
The two walk through the castle halls, though to Twilight's surprise, Cadance is the one leading the way.
"Well, it's nice to see you regardless. I thought you'd have more important things to be doing today than visiting little old me."
"You know, I don't actually have any responsibilities tied to the holiday. My title and today's existence are completely unrelated."
"Huh. That seems like a wasted opportunity, if you ask me."
"That's not to say I don't have fun with it anyway. Did you know that there's a rumor going around about me?"
"Oh? What's that?"
"It's apparently quite popular among single stallions to make jokes about how I'm 'not doing my job' by getting them marefriends. Like that makes any sense."
"Wow, that... does sound like a troubling rumor."
"Hmhm. I don't really mind it. I don't think most ponies take it seriously, anyway. Buuuuuuuut, it DID lead to a pretty fun tradition on my end."
"And what's that?"
"Annoying the crap out of Anon every year."
Ah, Anon. Anon is the only human in Equestria. His sudden arrival was due to some freak accident, and ever since then, he's been living with Twilight in the Castle of Friendship. All things considered, he has adjusted to his new life extremely well. However, Cadance has always given him a hard time. It's all in good fun, of course, but she likes to tease him for being a hopeless romantic that has absolutely no luck with the ladies.
"What do you do to him?"
"Oh, nothing too serious. I usually just send him a bunch of letters reminding him that he really needs to get a marefriend. Or I'll cast a spell on him when he's asleep to make him think he's in love with someone that doesn't actually exist. Small stuff like that."
"...That sounds uncharacteristically mean of you."
"I seem to recall him mocking the Crystal Empire every time he visits. Says it's 'too gaudy' or 'an empire made of crystals and subsisting on positive emotions is destined to fail.' This is just me getting even with him."
"I don't know, it seems kind of mean-spirited. I mean, I'M still single too, but you don't make fun of me."
"The difference is that you're single by choice, Twilight. Anon is just a loser."
"..."
"Anyway, I'm going to surprise him by making fun of him in-person this year. Hope you don't mind!"
"Not particularly, I guess? I suppose I am a bit interested to see how this plays out."
The two conveniently arrive at Anon's bedroom at that exact moment. With a cocky grin on her face, Cadance knocks on the door. The two wait for a response for about ten seconds, but they hear nothing on the other side of the door. With a tilt of her head, Cadance knocks again. Once more, there is no response. Finally, she just tries the door handle, and is surprised to find it open.
The bedroom is kept surprisingly clean. Anon doesn't own that much stuff besides the essentials, so other than a half-filled laundry basket and a poorly made bed, there isn't too much to look at. However, what is notable to Cadance is that the lights are off. Oh, and that Anon isn't there.
"Hm? Where is he?"
"I'm... not sure. I don't remember hearing him leave today. And he definitely didn't tell me anything about going somewhere."
"Are you sure he's not in the library?"
"Positive. That's where I was when you knocked on the door."
"...Huh."
"You... you don't think he might have actually-"
"Nope. Impossible. If he had a special somepony, he would have told me. He would jump at the chance to rub it in my face."
"I suppose I probably would have known about it as well."
"...We should investigate."
"Investigate?"
"Right. We have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Anon is still single this Hearts and Hooves Day!"
"Uhh, I don't know, Cadance. This sounds kind of... really stupid?"
"Excuse me?"
"Anon isn't in his bedroom on Hearts and Hooves Day. This means that he's out and about. He is either doing something with a special somepony we don't know about, or he's doing something completely unrelated. In the former scenario, good for him! In the latter, we just look like fools for searching for him."
"Okay, but counterpoint: I'm really, really bored."
Twilight sighs.
"Fine. Let's go hunt for our missing, potentially still-single human."
"Yes!"
"So, where do we start?"
"I'd say we ask around. Check if anypony has seen him today."
"Who should we ask?"
"How about... her?"
Cadance points to a nearby mare. Her mint-green coat and mane make her stand out among the folks in town, and her ((((((roommate)))))) appears to be busy buying them some sweets from a candy stall. Twilight shrugs, and the two make their way over to the mare.
"Um, excuse me?"
The mare turns around, giving the pair a smile.
"Oh, hello princesses. Can I help you?"
"Er, we were just wondering if you'd seen Anon around today. You know, tall, human, conveniently lacking any sort of defining characteristics for me to describe?"
"Yeah I know who you're talking about. I mean, I am the resident human expert."
"You... are? That exists?"
"Sure does! I know every little thing he does!"
"W-well that's great! Where is he?!"
"The only exception to that is when I'm with Bon Bon here. She's the only thing that could steal my attention away from him."
"...Oh."
"Last I saw, he was heading over to the flower stalls. He bought a bouquet, but it was made up of a really weird assortment of flowers and wasn't very visually appealing at ALL."
"Huh. Well, okay. Thank you for your help!"
"Of course! If you see him, tell him I said I've got my eye on him."
"W-will do."
With that, Cadance and Twilight slink away from the odd mare, exchanging awkward glances as they do so.
"So, he bought flowers? Sounds like he has a date to me."
"Now hold on. Dense though he may be, even Anon would know when a bouquet looks terrible."
"True, not to mention that I doubt Roseluck would let him walk away with a crappy looking bouquet if he said he was giving it to a lady."
"So we're back to square one."
"Not necessarily. For whatever reason, he DID buy flowers. We just have to figure out where he went after that."
"Let's just go ask Rose, then."
"Good afternoon, Rose!"
"Oh! Hey, Princess Twilight! And... oh goodness, hello Princess Cadance!"
Cadance slams a hoof menacingly on the stall. However, the mares on the other side don't even notice. Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily Valley are frantically darting around their flower stall. Before them, a comically long line of ponies wanting to get last-minute flowers for their special someponies wait impatiently for their orders to be fulfilled. Twilight and Cadance stand to the side, trying to find a moment when the mares aren't too busy to speak with them. They're disappointed when that moment doesn't come.
"Think we should try going somewhere else?"
"Hmm... well, this is the only lead we have right now." Twilight clears her throat. "Um, Rose?"
Rose responds, though she never once looks up from her work.
"What is it, Princess Twilight?"
"Did Anon come through here at some point today?"
"He sure did! Wanted the strangest bouquet, too."
"What was strange about it?"
"Well, he wanted an assortment of roses, just like everypony else does on Hearts and Hooves Day. But on top of that, he wanted some dragon sneeze flowers."
"Really? Those, uh, aren't exactly pretty. Also, aren't they not even in season right now?"
The three mares all freeze to glare at Twilight for just a moment.
"Do not doubt our flower power!" They say in unison before returning to their work as if nothing happened.
"Uhh... okay. But, Rose, I thought you had a policy against knowingly giving customers bad-looking bouquets."
"I do, but he said the bouquet wasn't just meant to be a sign of affection. Normally I would've pressed him on that, but as you can see, I'm a bit too busy today to linger on one customer for too long!"
Sure enough, as this conversation has gone on, she has helped no less than twenty desperate ponies with their flowers.
"Yeah, I can see that. O-one more thing, though."
"Yes?"
"Did you see where he went?"
"I think he went over to the jeweler's. Couldn't tell ya what for, though."
"Alright. Thank you for your help, Rose!"
"Have a nice day, princesses!"
Twilight turns around as Rose returns to focusing on her work. Cadance looks at her with a worried look.
"We have to get moving!"
"Why?"
"The jeweler? On HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY?!"
"Cadance, I think you're getting a bit too caught up in-"
"There's no time! Let's go!"
Cadance grabs Twilight by the hoof and literally drags her in the direction of the jeweler, becoming increasingly more desperate to learn Anon's whereabouts.
The little bell above the door to the jeweler's rings as the two alicorns enter the small, well-maintained shop. Unlike the flower stall, the store is lacking any customers. Granted, this is to be expected; most jewelry in Equestria is custom-made, and those take time to make. Ponies trying to get something last-minute are better off getting their significant others something other than jewelry today. However, the older mare that runs the shop is still standing behind the counter regardless, and she greets the two with a smile.
"Why, hello there, princesses. It's a pleasure to see you."
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Stone." Twilight happily greets the mare and walks up to the counter.
"I must say, I am surprised to see you here."
"Don't worry, I know it's too late to get something made in time for the holiday."
"Oh no, I meant because you're still single, hoohoo!"
Twilight blushes and looks at the floor. Cadance speaks up on her behalf.
"Sorry, Mrs. Stone, but we really just wanted to ask you a question. Have you seen Anon come through today?"
"Anon? You mean the tall gentleman wearing the suit?"
"He... was wearing a suit?"
"Sure was. He looked quite dapper, too. He came in here a few hours ago."
"What did he want?"
"Curiously, he didn't want any actual jewelry. Rather, he just wanted the jewels themselves."
"He did?"
The mare nods.
"A few rubies, some sapphires, and even an emerald."
"Wow. That... doesn't sound cheap."
"He actually picked out the smallest ones I had. They weren't even cut, either."
"Uncut gems?" Twilight finally speaks up again, her voice curious.
"Yes, I was confused too. Then he told me he needs them as an ingredient in some potion he's brewing. I didn't even know he made potions, but who am I to turn down a customer?"
"D-did he say where he was going?"
"Not specifically, no."
"Alright, thank you very mu-"
Twilight is cut off by Cadance once again grabbing her and literally dragging her away. Mrs. Stone simply laughs and waves as the two exit the store.
"Cadance, what's the matter?"
"He's brewing a potion! That's a MASSIVE lead!"
"Well, that's true. I also didn't know he knew how to make potions, and I LIVE with him."
"So, he doesn't do it at the castle?"
"Potion making, in my experience, is a smelly process. There wouldn't really be a place in the castle he could hide it."
"Hmm. Where would he go to brew a potion, then? And why do it in the first place?"
Twilight places a hoof to her chin as she thinks.
"...Ah!"
"Did you think of something?"
"Potion making is a difficult skill to train, and for all of his flaws, I know that Anon isn't dumb enough to try to do so without supervision."
"So you think somepony is helping him? Who?"
"Who else would he ask for help with brewing a potion but Zecora?"
"AHA! That would also explain why nopony knows exactly where he is!"
"He's in the Everfree Forest!" They exclaim simultaneously.
The further into the Everfree the pair gets, the more frantic Cadance becomes. By the time they actually reach the outskirts of Zecora's hut, she doesn't even bother knocking, instead choosing to just throw the front door wide open.
"ANON?!"
"Cadance, don't just barge in!"
The two alicorns freeze in the doorway, taking in the scene before them. In the center of the room, Anon and Zecora peer into a large cauldron that is currently placed over a lit flame and gently bubbling. The smell is sickeningly sweet, and whatever concoction is within the cauldron is a deep purple color. Sure enough, Anon is dressed in a suit, though to their surprise, Zecora is also dolled up quite a bit. It's a sight Twilight hasn't seen from Zecora since... ever, really.
"Stop right there!"
Cadance's voice is loud and demanding, though Anon and Zecora had already stopped what they were doing when she threw the door open. They share a confused glance before Anon responds.
"Uhh, hi?"
"What exactly do you think you're doing?!"
"What does it look like? Zecora is teaching me how to brew potions."
"On Hearts and Hooves Day?!"
"Yeah?"
"What are you, a loser?!"
Anon furrows his brow, frustration evident on his face.
"Aren't you the one constantly reminding me that I'm single? What would you prefer I do, wallow in my bedroom all day long?"
"...Yes."
"Well too bad."
Cadance grunts, causing Twilight to pat her on the shoulder.
"I'm sorry about this, you two. She's been... antsy today."
Zecora smiles.
"Worry not, frustrated princess. Anon is quite used to your pettiness."
"Pettiness?!" Cadance glares at Anon. "We've been trying to track you down all afternoon, and you're telling me you STILL don't have a marefriend?!"
"Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Well... that..." Cadance shakes her head in frustration. "Why the flowers, huh?!"
"The... ohhhhh, the bouquet? Roses and dragon sneeze flowers are both ingredients for the potion we're working on."
"And the jewels?"
"Same reason, though I did have to pulverize them before putting them into the cauldron. THAT was an ordeal."
"..." Cadance fumes silently for a moment before finally raising her voice one more time. "Then why the suit?!" She turns to look at Zecora. "And why are you dressed up with him?! (You look incredible by the way.)"
Anon and Zecora share another glance, and they both blush before looking at the ground. Their expressions seem less embarrassed and more... sad.
"...We don't really get a chance to dress up like this very often."
"Being single every year can be... quite disheartening, and going out in public like this is just too embarrassing. We wanted a chance to show somepony our best traits, even if we both lack Hearts and Hooves dates."
"Th-that's...!"
Twilight glares at Cadance. The pink princess looks down at her sister-in-law and sighs. Anon and Zecora are kindred souls, it seems. Even if they're both single, they just wanted a chance to have a nice Hearts and Hooves Day in their own way, without the judgement of others. Then, she practically knocked their door down specifically to judge them.
"...I'm sorry, you two. I-I didn't know."
"I'm sorry as well. I should have tried to talk her out of this."
The embarrassed non-couple behind the cauldron share a confused look before smiling at each other and directing their attention back towards the princesses.
"It's alright. We forgive you."
"Regardless of... whatever all of this is, we shall simply call it water under the bridge."
Cadance and Twilight look back at them bashfully before glancing around the room, unsure of what to say or do next. After a few moments, it's Anon who breaks the silence.
"Jeez, look at the time. It's dark out already. It has to be almost nine at this point."
The alicorns turn and look out the window. Sure enough, the sun has completely set and the moon has taken its place in the sky.
"I guess we'd better get going, huh Cadance?"
"Yes, that would probably be for the best."
"Are you two going to be okay getting home?"
"We can just fly over the forest, Anon. Are YOU going to be okay getting home?"
"We already discussed this when it was still bright; Anon will be staying with me tonight. This potion takes a long time to brew, and Anon wants to remain here to see it through."
"Alright, then. Goodnight Anon. Goodnight Zecora."
"Goodnight, princesses!"
Without another word, Twilight and Cadance leave the hut, feeling incredibly awkward and humbled by the day's events. Meanwhile, within the hut, Zecora watches as they spread their wings and begin to fly off.
"...Are we good?"
"They've taken off, but they're not yet gone. Have patience, my dear Anon."
After a few more seconds, Twilight and Cadance disappear over the horizon. As they do so, Zecora turns towards Anon and nods, her cheeks now a deep shade of crimson. Without missing a beat, Anon embraces her, and the two begin to kiss passionately as their Hearts and Hooves Day comes to a close.
Meanwhile, in Ponyville's fanciest restaurant, Shining Armor sits at a table all alone. A waiter swings by to check on him, but he quickly waves the waiter off. Everypony else has already left the restaurant. He glances at a nearby clock. Cadance is now four hours late.
...Ugh.
Author's Note
Yes, yes, I'm working on an actual Anon/Zecora fic, calm down.
Also, sorry if Cadance seemed OOC here. She was just... so fun to write like this.
As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!
These Ponies Don't Know What Gaslighting Is
Author's Note
Surprise! A second chapter!
These Ponies Don't Know What Gaslighting Is
Twilight snuggles up against her pillow just a little bit more than she already was. The tiniest of snores escapes her nose as she dreams of not being single anymore. All in all, she sleeps peacefully, even as the sun begins to peek over the horizon. Luckily for her, she has no prior engagements this morning, meaning she can get the rest she so desperately needs by sleeping in for once in her life.
...
"TWILIGHT!"
"AHH!"
Twilight is suddenly awoken by a scream, causing her to jump in place and fall off of her bed onto the floor. She lightly hits her head, and as she rubs her throbbing temple, she scrambles to get to her hooves.
"Wh-who, wha?!" Twilight peeks her head up over the bed, her covers still somewhat stuck to her thanks to her horn. Through blurry, tired eyes, she can see the faint outline of a pink mare blocking the sunlight from the window behind her, which is open. "C-Cadance?"
"Twilight, you need to get up! This is an emergency!"
"D-did you come in through my window?"
"That's not important right now, Twilight!"
Twilight groans as she shakes the bed sheets off of her and straightens out her bangs a little bit. She rubs her eyes to get the grogginess out of her system and does her best to give Cadance her attention.
"What's going on?"
"We have a MAJOR love problem on our hooves, Twilight."
"A... love problem?"
"You and your friends deal with friendship problems all the time, right? Well, I deal with love problems."
"Such as?"
"Not important. What IS important is that my Cadance Sense is going off."
"Your Cadance Sense?"
"An innate feeling I get when somepony has wronged me. A twitch of the tail, a flick of an ear. It's practically indecipherable sometimes, but today? Ooh, today I am hot on the trail of the perpetrator! It has led me to Ponyville, and there are only so many ponies it could have been!"
"Okay, I'm gonna need you to slow down. First of all, you have a Pinkie Sense? And it brought you here so that you can, what, find a mysterious pony that has 'wronged' you?"
"Precisely."
"..." Twilight stares at her sister-in-law, her disbelief and mild annoyance evident on her on face. "What could possibly be urgent about it? What's the worst thing it could be?"
"Oh, I'll TELL you what it could be! It could be..." Cadance looks back and forth throughout Twilight's room as if to make sure that no one is eavesdropping on them. "...Anon."
Twilight immediately groans.
"Cadaaaaaaaance, we went through this already last year!"
"EXACTLY! Hearts and Hooves Day is just a week away! What if he's getting desperate?!"
"If he is, it's because of what we did last year! Just leave him alone!"
"I'm sorry Twilight, but that's the one thing I absolutely cannot do. As the princess of love, it is my duty to resolve any love-related conflicts that might disturb the carefully preserved harmony of nature."
"...Which means you need to bother Anon?"
"It absolutely does."
Twilight rolls her eyes and starts getting back into bed.
"I'm sorry Cadance, but I'm not helping you with this again. You need to drop it. Just leave him be."
"But what if he has a marefriend now? Not only would that be extremely unprecedented, it would also mean that he DIDN'T TELL ME!"
"Sounds to me like your goals aren't as noble as you're trying to make them out to be."
"...Fine." Cadance turns and heads towards the door to Twilight's bedroom, magically throwing it open with a huff. "I'll solve this problem all on my own. And just you wait, I'll uncover whatever it is he's hiding from me!"
Cadance dramatically slams the door behind her as she exits, leaving Twilight alone once more. She sighs and uses telekinesis to close the window Cadance came through for some reason and closes her eyes, desperate to get just a bit more sleep.
Unfortunately, she immediately leaps out of bed in surprise again when her door gets thrown open seconds later.
"TWILIGHT!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Twilight groans.
"He's gone! I KNEW something was up!"
"He doesn't even live here anymore!"
"W-wait, what?"
"He moved out about a month ago. Found his own place."
"Where?!"
"He went to..." Twilight suddenly sits upright. "...I don't actually know."
"You didn't ask where he lives?"
"I... I guess I didn't. Huh."
"You haven't gone to visit him or anything?"
"Things have been really busy lately, Cadance."
"Well, aren't you curious to see how he's doing?"
"..." Twilight thinks for a moment. She really should know where Anon lives. Why did it never occur to her to ask? What HAS he been up to? "...Ugh, fiiiiiiiiiiine. But we are NOT insulting anypony or throwing their doors open this time, got it?!"
"Yay!"
Cadance follows Twilight through Ponyville, taking in the crisp morning air as they walk. It isn't particularly lively yet, but ponies are gradually beginning to populate the space.
"Where are we going, Twilight?"
"Sugarcube Corner. If there's one pony who will know for certain where Anon lives, it's Pinkie Pie."
"Ooo, good call!"
The two conclude their conversation right as they arrive, the sickly sweet aroma of the confectionery filling their nostrils as they gently open the front door. Sure enough, standing behind the glass display case/countertop is Pinkie Pie, happily greeting the two of them with a smile.
"Hiya, Twilight! And hi, Princess Cadance! What brings you in here this morning?"
"Hey Pinkie, we just wanted to know-"
Cadance interrupts Twilight by slamming a hoof onto the counter and glaring at the party pony, who takes it as a challenge and begins a one-sided staring contest.
"We need to know where Anon is."
"You mean like right now? At home, I'd reckon. He's not exactly an early bird."
"And where is home, Pinkie Pie?"
"Where the heart is! Duh!"
Cadance brings a hoof to forehead.
"Ugh, no. I meant, where does Anon LIVE?"
"Ooooooooooh. With Zecora, of course!"
"WHAT?!" The two princess shout simultaneously.
"Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't he?"
"Pinkie, what do you mean by-"
Before Twilight can finish her question, Cadance has already dragged her out of the building and into the street. She shows no signs of stopping as Twilight is tugged through the dirt, forcing Twilight to stand on her own and begin jogging alongside Cadance.
"Wh-what's the hurry?"
"I was right from the beginning! They ARE a couple!"
"W-well, we don't know that for sure. If Anon has been learning how to make potions, he could just be her apprentice, or-"
"Twilight, the implications of a stallion and a mare, or in this case a man and a zebra, living alone together in a secluded location away from prying eyes are clearly too raunchy for your poor, innocent mind to comprehend. So, let me just say that there is no way there isn't something going on between them!"
"First of all, rude. I read novels of all kinds, and I know my raunch. Second, way to make some heavy assumptions about our friends. This is how rumors get started, Cadance!"
"Twilight, I sincerely doubt that there is NO truth to what I'm saying. And I'll prove it to you once we get there!"
The princesses come to the edge of the Everfree Forest. They have to pass by Fluttershy's cottage on the way to the entrance that leads to Zecora's hut, and they suddenly find themselves stopping as a very long line of ducks slowly walk across their path. Cadance is about to take off and start flying before they are both stopped by Fluttershy herself calling out to the pair.
"Oh, hello Twilight! Hello, Princess Cadance!"
"Hey Fluttershy! How are you doing today?"
"Oh, I'm doing just-"
"Yeah yeah yeah, you're doing fine. Can you get your ducks to move a bit faster?"
Cadance prances in place, clearly as impatient as she has ever been, but she stops when she catches Twilight glaring at her.
"Cadance, I said you weren't allowed to insult anypony already. No being rude, either!"
Cadance sighs.
"Yes, Twilight."
"Good." Twilight turns to Fluttershy with a smile. "So, you were saying?"
"I'm doing fine. Mr. and Mrs. Quackington's eggs just hatched the other day, as you can see. Aren't they just precious?" Sure enough, many of the ducks appear to be itty bitty things. Both Twilight and Cadance can't help but want to hug them all, but they hold themselves back. "What are you two doing?"
"Cadance wants to know what Anon has been up to. Apparently she thinks there is some kind of 'love emergency' going on or something."
"Oh, goodness! I certainly hope not! I thought he and Zecora were getting along really well."
"W-wait, he and Zecora?"
Fluttershy looks at Twilight with confusion.
"Yes?"
Cadance flies right up to Fluttershy and looks her dead in the eyes with a serious, somewhat wild expression.
"Do you mean to imply that they're a couple?!"
"..." Fluttershy glances at Twilight with anxiety and confusion before looking back at Cadance. "I should hope so?"
"What do you mean by that?!"
"W-well, I should hope that they're still a couple considering they got married about a month ago."
"WHAT?!" Both princesses yell simultaneously once again. Fluttershy cowers at their outburst.
"Wh-why are you yelling? You were both at the wedding!"
"No we were NOT!"
"For once, I agree with Cadance. We definitely were not there for that! This is the first we're hearing about it!"
"Twilight, you were Zecora's maid of honor."
"I was not! I would definitely remember if that..." Twilight's expression goes blank for a moment. "...happened."
"Hm? What's wrong, Twilight?"
Both Cadance and Fluttershy look at Twilight with concern.
"...I also should have known where Anon lives. But... I didn't."
"What are you implying?"
"..." Twilight looks up at Cadance, her eyes now filled with just as much determination. "We need to see what Anon is doing."
A few seconds after Cadance knocks on the door to Zecora's hut, the zebra herself opens it and gives the princesses a smile. She wears the usual rings all around her body, but she is also wearing a sort of apron that covers both her front and her sides.
"Ah, two princesses have arrived at my door without warning. To what do I owe the pleasure this morning?"
"We need to-!" Cadance stops herself as she realizes how loud and forceful she was about to be. She takes a deep breath and starts over. "It's nice to see you, Zecora. We came here because we wanted to see Anon... and because we have reasons to believe that you've been keeping secrets from us."
Zecora turns to Twilight, and is surprised when she simply nods. With a tilted head and a smile, Zecora steps aside to invite the pair in.
"While these accusations are quite abrupt, I'm sure we can clear everything up. Come inside, take a seat. Anon just finished making some tea."
Cadance steps inside, and Twilight gives Zecora an anxious smile as she enters behind her.
"Thank you, Zecora."
Zecora simply chuckles as they enter the hut. Sure enough, Anon is standing in the small kitchen near the back of the hut. Zecora leads the pair to a nearby table, and three sit down right as Anon approaches with a tea set and four already filled cups.
"Good morning, ladies."
Cadance glares at Anon with a furrowed brow.
"Do not 'good morning ladies' me, mister! What is all this?"
"Hm? What do you mean?"
Anon seems genuinely confused as he hands each of them a filled teacup.
"All of this? Why didn't you tell Twilight you were moving here? And what's this about you two being married?!"
Anon takes a calm sip of his tea, as does Zecora. Feeling a bit awkward, Twilight does the same, and even Cadance, who never stops glaring at Anon, slowly brings the cup to her lips. In his defense, the tea is delicious.
"Well, first of all, I did tell Twilight I was moving here. Multiple times. Second of all... yeah, Zecora and I got married a little over a month ago. Didn't we, dear?"
Zecora smiles and nods, a slight blush on her face as she takes another sip of tea before replying.
"To this day I find it hard to believe. I never imagined someone would want to marry me."
"Why didn't you tell either of US about that?!"
"I did. You were THERE, remember? You gave a speech about the Hearts and Hooves Day debacle at the reception." Anon turns to look at Twilight. "And YOU were the maid of honor."
"How do neither of us remember that?!"
"I-I don't know!"
Anon, having finished his tea, lifts his hands into the air pleadingly. Cadance stares daggers into him, causing him to sweat a fair deal. Zecora interjects, worry on her face.
"Princess, please, if you are able... try not to cause a scene at the table?"
Cadance continues to glare at Anon for a moment before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.
"This is just too strange. I can't believe that you two are married."
"Well, believe it."
Anon raises a hand, revealing that he does indeed have a band on his ring finger. Zecora tucks a hoof beneath her apron-like clothing, revealing a ring that has been made into a necklace hanging around her neck. Twilight and Cadance glance between them, realizing that they're telling the truth.
"I'll be darned."
"They really are married."
After a moment of awkward silence, the two princesses sigh and finish up the rest of their tea.
"How could we have forgotten?"
Anon shrugs.
"Maybe it's got something to do with princess of love stuff? Or perhaps trauma?"
Cadance tenses up.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm just saying, you're the one who seems the most bothered by this. Maybe your mind just blocked it out to force you to forget how much you embarrassed yourself at the reception."
"How much I WHAT?!"
"Yeah, you said all sorts of nasty stuff. One too many ciders, perhaps?"
"...Oh Celestia." Cadance rests her head in her hooves. "What have I done?"
"W-well what about me?" Twilight looks at Anon with confusion. "What did I do?"
"You were right there with her, Twi. It was like a comedy duo. Really funny at the time, but I can't imagine how embarrassed you were after the fact."
Despite the fact that neither of them can remember a thing about the wedding, both Cadance and Twilight find themselves blushing from ear to ear. That explanation doesn't sound great, but... it's the only one they have. After almost a full minute of very awkward silence, Cadance sighs once more.
"I'm sorry, you two. Again. I really need to learn to stop sticking my nose where it doesn't belong."
"I'm sorry as well. Once again, I thought it was a bad idea, but I got caught up in it all so much that I just went along with it."
Anon and Zecora laugh.
"Oh, trust me, Twi. We're used to it. It's all good."
"...Ugh." Twilight buries her face in her hooves in embarrassment.
"Well, uh, how is the marriage treating you?" Cadance gives an awkward smile as she asks her question. Anon smiles at her, then he looks at Zecora. She smiles back, and both of their faces go a bit pink, much to Cadance's surprise. "Wh-what are you two... oh."
As Cadance began to ask her question, she watched as Zecora pulled her clothing to the side, revealing what was hiding underneath. Cadance immediately recognizes what she sees, and her eyes widen with shock. Following her gaze, Twilight is right there with her.
"You're having a baby?!"
Neither Anon nor Zecora answer. Instead, they just blush and sheepishly look away from each other. Man, those two are cute to watch.
"..." After a moment of silence, Twilight stands up and looks away, her eyes completely glazed over. "I think this is a bit too much for me to take in one day. I'm getting a terrible headache."
After a few seconds, Cadance stands up as well and walks up alongside her.
"Y-yeah, I think I'm feeling the same."
Anon and Zecora stand up behind them. Zecora stays back while Anon guides them to the front door and holds it open for them.
"Well, it was nice seeing you two, even if you have to leave so suddenly like that."
"Y-yeah, it was good to see you too."
The princesses appear woozy as they exit the hut. They gently shake their heads as they flap their wings and take to the sky.
"Goodbye, Anon. Bye, Zecora. Good luck with the marriage! A-and the baby, I guess."
"Thank you! Goodbye to you, too!"
Anon waves as the princesses take off, apparently too shocked or too ill to say another word. He just chuckles as he turns back to the hut to face his wife, closing the door behind him as he does so.
"Well, that takes care of that. I'd say 'let's hope the potion works,' but... this would be the, what, fifth time now that it did?"
"It is the sixth, if memory serves. Though I admit I'm starting to have a few concerns."
"Yeah, they're starting to do this more and more frequently. You sure they aren't building up a tolerance to that memory loss potion?"
"I won't say that it's impossible. After all, potions aren't infallible. Though if we are to take today's visit as a sign, I'd say we're running out of time."
"Eh. You can't rush perfection." Anon embraces Zecora, being careful to not put too much pressure on her belly. "This whole pranking thing is just a hobby, anyway. Cadance went around telling everypony in the Crystal Empire that we were dating before we were ready to make it public, so I'd say making them forget that we're even together over and over again until they walk in one day to see a kid in your arms is fair payback."
"The rumors they accidentally spread were aggravating, I agree. But I still don't feel great about spiking their tea."
"Do you want to stop?"
"..."
Zecora struggles to withhold her laughter. As she does so, she realizes Anon is as well. The two burst out laughing, clearly having had this conversation before. It seems that in the world of humans, zebras, and princesses, nothing is too petty or too serious to be considered a prank.
Meanwhile, in Ponyville, Cadance has forgotten why she's even there. In a panic, she throws herself through a once-again-sleeping Twilight's window, ready to go on an adventure to discover why her "Cadance Sense" is going haywire.
