I see past the whispers

by Babycord

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Violence, Death, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 991

Can you see what they hide?

One.

Two.

Three.

Repeat.

One.

Two.

Three.

Repeat.

Published 2023-09-03 02:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-09-03 02:30:01 UTC

Count again

57 steps.

That's how it takes me to trot from one end of my area to the other.

314 steps.

That's how long it takes from my cell to the bathroom.

2000 steps.

That's how long it takes from here to the lunch room.

Again.

12000 steps.

That is how many steps it to arrive from one side of this place to the other.

One, two,

Again.

There's a noise, a pony from down the hall thrashing about. A mare a little older than me, an ex-noble. A pony who secretly hated herself because despite the money she could never fill the hole in her heart. A hole that was left by a colt from a high school.

His high school.

One, two,

Again.

The doctor here. A wise young stallion who spent his entire life to be remembered for something great. Something that will help ponies or at the very least impact the future generation.

His wife isn't the only one he's sleeping with. Noir can live with the shame of going against the values that his parents taught him.

Not that he will.

One, two,

The pony next to my area has been fighting his addiction for years. He never had any problems growing up. He lived a quiet life while aslo managing to find a gift in music. His flute skills were great, but when enrolled in an Academy he felt small compared to the rest. He fought and crawled to be noticed, and appreciated like his peers.

That didn't happen.

So one day he discovered something that would take the pain away. Something that helped free his mind, but aslo his body. However, it aslo ended up damaging the nerves in his hooves ruining his dream and his goal. Oh how badly he tries to play but he can't The pain is too much he can't grip things like he used to. Now he sits alone hating himself and wishing he had a second chance.

That chance never came,

And now He doesn't know how much else he can take.

Unfortunately, he doesn't have a choice anymore.

One, two,

There's a mare walking by. She's new and afraid, she doesn't know why im staring her down or why she was obsessed with her mother's beauty. Her mother was a kind soul who cherished her daughter with love, but that very same daughter both loved and hated her. You see her mother was beautiful almost like a god that she cherished but hated because she would never become like her. She will never get compliments or have a stallion look at her with hearts in their eyes.

She will never be beautiful.

She's running now, she doesn't want to be here but it's too late the entrance is already blocked.

She won't stop screaming.

One, two,

I look in the mirror. A pony with white eyes along with a hint of green stares back at me. Broken, scared, confused, always confused,

But I don't see that no instead I see faces. Faces of ponies with water filling their lungs.

Breath, Why is it getting so hard to breathe?

Count again.

I-i have to count.

I pace. Trying to find the numbers trying to find the rhythm but I can't.

The water.

It's so deep, so cold.

One. Two.

My mother is telling me to stop slacking off. I'm playing too close to the edge She's worried but im not Why would I be worried?

One, two,

Dad is busy but his eyes keep glancing back to me.

One, two,

I can feel the water splashing against my fur.

One, two,

I'm on the floor now. I'm screaming trying to breathe there's too much water too much water too much water.

One, two,

A pony comes into my spot. A mare with dark colors and heavy makeup. She doesn't like the world and doesn't like herself for being born in it, but she looks at me with kindness and puts a hoof on my stomach.

I gasp.

She counts.

One, two, three,

I tear up.

One, two, three,

The mare back-ups as I get back on my hooves. She looks at me and I look at her and for once I can't see.

I can't see.

She smiles and goes over to stand beside me. She knows what to do even if no pony told her.

One, two, three,

Her steps are slow and playful, She looks over at me in the corner of her eye. She's enjoying this she starts moving with a robotic slowness. She's a liar like the rest only better but this she can't fake.

One, two, three,

I laugh the feeling isn't new. Nor is the mare. Her name should be important but I can't remember. Had to count had to breathe all the time couldn't remember names. Didn't have time never had time.

She's going backwards now her head moving to a rhythm only she can hear.

I should count.

I have to count,

But the laughter and energy in the air was too much and I couldn't stop myself from mimicking her. She smirks proud of what she accomplished

One, two,

We both slowly go back then forward then back then forward again.

The laughter was too much now. I couldn't breathe as my sides burned with fire.

I collapsed and the mare wasn't far behind me. Together we wheeze and pant the air still trying to leave our lungs even when there was none to give.

One, two,

I would glance over at the mare and she would too our expressions matching. There's a fondness behind her eyes. A story that I can't see one as old as Nightmare Moon, but it doesn't matter because here i can breathe. I can breathe because the liars told me I could.

One,

I blink and look up at the wall.

A pair of green eyes stared right back at me.