Rebel Without a Clop

The conductor of the Friendship Express walked up and down the aisles of the busy train car, calling out: “Canterlot Central Station! Last stop! Everypony has to get off!”

“I’m... unnnghhh... working on it!” Pinkie Pie squealed. The mature mare had made instant friends with the young pegasus gal sitting next to her on the train, and the two hotties had spent the entire journey from Ponyville vigorously scissoring on the now fluid soaked seat. A double dildo slammed up each of their butts with each powerful bounce of Pinkie’s plot against the pegasus’ more compact rump. The noisy rectal rodeo continued until both mares gushed sticky fluid all over each others’ cunt lips, one last time. Pinkie hugged and kissed the younger mare to celebrate another horny job well done!

“Thanks, Mrs. Pie!” the pegasus moaned quietly, sighing happily in the older mare’s embrace. “Us girls have to stick together if we’re going to make it through November!”

Pinkie giggled at the sticky mess of marecum that connected the two mare’s thighs and labia with strings of goop. “Wow, we really are stuck together...” she mused. With great difficulty, Pinkie worked her butt hole off of the big, pink dildo her new friend had shyly offered to share, her pussy slurping loudly as she tugged her messy lips away from the pegasus’ similarly gooey cunt.

Pinkie lowered her head and kissed the head of the fake cock that had just popped out of her well opened ass, savouring the tangy taste of her own bum. “I can see you’re a fan of my husband!” she giggled, using a hoof to smack the very familiar shape of the flare that had just been deep up her butt.

“Oh... is it that obvious?” the other mare blushed. She worked her teeny tiny pega-plot off of the other end of the big dildo, where an identical copy of Cheese Sandwich’s perfect dick could be found. Cheese’s shape was one of the most famous in Equestria, as he used it as the model for many of his adult pranks and “gag gifts.” There must be thousands of mares, not to mention other creatures, whose holes had been resized to fit that trademark flare and extra thick medial ring!

“No need to feel shy!” the pink MILF assured the younger mare. “I love this weenie so much, I married it! Say, the next time you’re in Ponyville, stop by our house for a DP from Cheese Sandwich and our son! Lil’ Cheese is legal now, and his ding-dong is HUGE! 13 inches at least!”

“Oh my gosh...” The petite pegasus’ wings, which had been drooping, quickly stiffened again with arousal. “I’ve never even heard of a dick that big... he’d rip me apart!”

“Don’t you fret, we’ll make it fit!” With a passionate kiss on the lips (the top ones) Pinkie left her brand new friend to recover from her climax and sproinged off the train, headed towards Canterlot Castle.

As Pinkie pranced up the main boulevard, her bountiful body bouncing in every direction with each and every leap, she soon found her Pinkie Sense running haywire with premonitions of penile problems galore. It seemed that Canterlot was simply full of stewing, pent up stallions committed to abstinence — and frustrated mares who hadn’t been consulted on this important issue, and were already feeling its negative effects on their quivering pussies! Here was all the cum Pinkie hadn’t been drinking from the Chalice of Life, still swimming about in thousands of untended, musky horse balls!

Stallions who would have once cheerfully mounted Equestria’s horniest hotwife, favouring her with a direct injection of their seed, now forced their gazes away from Pinkie’s huge wobbledonk and fat, nurseable teats. Guys who only yesterday would have given anything just to clop off on one of Pinkie’s cutie marks now crossed the street with their hooves pressed frantically against their sheaths. Pinkie Pie, once the most desired mare in all the land (well, 3rd or 4th most desired, if she was being honest) was now seen as unworthy even of being a male’s cum target!

“Heya, Joe!” Pinkie waved cheerfully at her Canterlot baked goods distributor as she passed his bustling shop. “I’ve got a big, fat ‘donut’ for ya! Pink and steamy, and I made the hole extra big, just the way you like it!”

“Erm... maybe later, Pinkie!” Pony Joe fled into his shop and barred the door, then slid open the takeout window to continue the conversation. “Why don’t we put something down for the 1st of December? I’m free just after midnight!”

“Grr...” Pinkie grumbled and hopped on by with her head held high. She’d saved Equestria countless times, and this was to be her reward? Surrounded by horny stallions yet not dicked into a cock-coma? Not acceptable!

Inside Canterlot Castle, the yummy studs of the Royal Guard stood to attention awkwardly, unaccustomed to such heavy weights of genetic liquid dragging down their unemptied nuts. Sneaking up to the throne room, Pinkie placed her ear against the door and heard the sound of raised voices.

Uh-oh! Flurry Heart was arguing fiercely with Twilight. There was a good ol’ friendship problem happening right here, and Pinkie Pie was ready to rush to the rescue! With a dramatic flare and a party cannon’s worth of confetti, she burst into the throne room and cried out “SURPRISE!”

“Not now, Pinkie!” the two Princesses shouted in unison.

“Aww, why so gloomy?” Pinkie frowned. “Are your royal holes missing out on dong cause of that dumb No Nut November thing?”

“H-how did you know?” asked Flurry Heart. “Wait, don’t tell me that Uncle Cheese is doing No Nut?”

Pinkie laughed at the very thought. “Naaah, he’d never do that... if he knows what’s good for him! He banged me twice this morning!” Pinkie turned and pulled a fleshy cheek away from her hindquarters, exposing her fragrant and leaking holes. “I’ve still got some of his cum up my plot, if you need a little taste! It’s all the way up there, though! You’re really going to have to dig in!”

Flurry Heart winced. “Oh my gosh, Auntie Pinkie, that’s so gross! This is the highest throne room in Equestria, not one of your picnics full of filthy peasants!”

“Erm, y-yes, Pinkie, quite inappropriate.” Twilight Sparkle bit her lip as her hungry eyes surveyed Pinkie’s skullcrushing ass and recently widened bunghole, leaking the merest leftover dribble of Cheese Sandwich’s crave worthy sperm. “I’ll be slurping—I mean, scolding you in private, once I decide how to handle this vexing No Nut issue.”

“I don’t get it, Twilight,” Pinkie prattled, removing her hoof from her plot cheek, letting it swing free and slap against its twin sister with the force of an earthquake. “Why’d you come up with No Nut November, anyways? Is it supposed to teach us that we shouldn’t rely on cum from stallions? That the real cum was inside us the whole time? Cause that makes NO sense!”

“I didn’t come up with it.” Twilight shook her head angrily. “No Nut November is not a legally recognized holiday in any way.”

“No wonder it was missing from my calendar of fun! It’s fake and it sucks!” Pinkie dropped her detective hat onto her head and frowned seriously. “Don’t worry, Twilight,” she promised as she paced up and down, leaking juices upon the royal carpet. “I’ll get to the bottom of this bummer, and get those stallion cocks right back up our bottoms and our bums! Hrm, now, who could be behind such a sinister plot to neglect our plots?”

“It’s not a secret, Pinkie. Chancellor Neighsay is the one promoting No Nut November. It’s part of his campaign for male chastity and continence.”

“Ooh, chastity, kinky!” Pinkie thought back to the time she’d experimented with locking Cheese’s dick up in a cute pink cage... an experiment that had lasted 10 whole minutes before she’d needed him out for an emergency surprise party behind her uvula! “No wonder Neighsay is so grumpy all the time! Who’s his keyholder?”

“He’s not in chastity. He’s just...” Twilight sighed. “...Cranky and annoying.”

“Aww! Well, make him stop cranking and annoying us!”

“I can’t. I may be the Princess, but I’m not a dictator. Chancellor Neighsay has a right to free speech.”

“What about my right to free jizz?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “That is not a thing.”

“Aw, nuts... are what I’m here to drain!” Pinkie tapped her chin thoughtfully with a hoof. “Hey, how come I never heard of Chancellor Neighsay pushing these bogus shenanigans in Ponyville?”

“I wish I hadn’t heard about it,” Twilight grumbled. “Neighsay’s speeches are all anypony has been talking about here in Canterlot.”

“And they’re broadcast on the radio, all around Equestria!” Flurry Heart added.

“Huh? Radio?” Pinkie scratched her head. “You mean that big tower thingie that Derpy keeps knocking over?”

“Damnit, that explains SO MUCH...” Twilight muttered. She caught her breath and muttered. “One thing at a time, Twilight... I’m sorry, Pinkie, but my hooves are tied, and not in a kinky way. Stallions have a right to their own bodies, and a choice to abstain from sex is part of that. I can’t order everypony to start masturbating again just so you can get your cum fix.”

“Hrm, maybe not... but you can order the Royal Guards to pull a train on my throat!” Pinkie bounced away cheerfully. “I’m off to the barracks, Twilight! See ya!”

“Pinkie, stop!” Twilight stamped a royal hoof, and Pinkie suspended herself in mid-sproing, turning to look at her friend before dropping to the ground.

“Y-yeah?”

“You’re being selfish and greedy! Yes, I could use the Royal Guard to solve this problem for you, me, and a few others, but that wouldn’t do anything for the rest of my subjects. If you truly believe that No Nut November is wrong, then you should confront Chancellor Neighsay and make an argument for the male orgasm. Go on his radio show and talk some sense into him. That way you’d get all the guys in Equestria to stop depriving their lovers of fat, veiny horse dick... oh, gosh... rammed into every hole... call me a slut and make me clean you off...”

“Let’s give Twilight some time alone,” Flurry Heart suggested. The young Princess guided Pinkie out of the throne room, even as Twilight started whimpering and tugging on her teats with her magic.

“Yeah, good idea!” Pinkie agreed. “She’s really out of it today! I better give Chancellor Neighsay a piece of my mind, or she’ll get so airheaded she’ll forget to raise the moon! Then it’ll be daytime all the time, and I’ll have to cancel my sold out series of stargazing/facesitting parties!”

“If anypony can change Neighsay’s mind, it’s you, Pinkie!” Flurry Heart’s lovely face was full of optimism. “Now, you said that nopony in Ponyville has heard of No Nut November before?”

“I’m not sure... my husband knew about it, and I think some of the younger stallions have been talking about ‘not the nuts.’” Pinkie mused. She thought Button Mash had been begging Spoiled Milk to stop playing ping pong with his cute little colt-marbles, but maybe he was actually excited for an upcoming month of abstinence!

“Y-young stallions, you say?” Flurry Heart cozied up to Pinkie, breathing heavily, her magic forcefully pressing on her clit and keeping it from winking out. “Tell me, is Ponyville where all the barely legal studs have been hiding?”

“Hahaha, sure, my son’s got LOTS of guys his own age to hang out with! Button Mash, Apple Slice, Pound Cake, Spike and Rarity’s weird kid...” Pinkie laughed playfully at the memory of all those fine, handsome males, then blushed a deep pink as she remembered the way they all looked at her! “Geeze, but who knows what he gets up to with those friends of his?” Pinkie’s expression slowly darkened and she snarled. “Say, maybe that’s why he hasn’t been pounding mares all day with his 14 inch weenie! His friends are a bad influence!”

“F-fourteen inches?” Flurry Heart nearly fainted.

“Not a millimetre less!” Pinkie lied cheerfully.

That settled it! Flurry Heart put a wing around her family’s longtime friend. “Pinkie Pie, I’m going to Ponyville to check on your son. You don’t need to worry, I’ll make sure he’s OK, and not corrupted by all this No Nut November nonsense!”

Pinkie smiled broadly, knowing that her son was safe in the care of Equestria’s youngest royal. “Thanks, Flurry Heart! I always knew you’d make a good Princess, even if you were an accident!”

“Wait... what?”

Pinkie slapped her hoof over her muzzle. “Nothing! Nothing!” she frantically claimed. But the princess whose very birth she couldn’t keep a secret was already teleporting away, heedless of the older mare’s flub.

After what she’d just heard about the young and virile attractions of Ponyville, Flurry Heart couldn’t get to that lame hayseed town fast enough! From the Crystal Empire to Canterlot, Chancellor Neighsay’s fiendish blue balling was sweeping Equestria like a cold shower. The gorgeous young princess, accustomed to having any dick she wished to sample, was most frustrated at being denied. A town where No Nut November was unheard of sounded like a paradise to the perpetually horny mare!

“Golly, 14 inches...” she muttered as the bright flash of her teleportation magic faded away and the cheerful sights of small town Ponyville came into her view. Even if Mrs. Pie was exaggerating a bit, it had been far too long since Flurry Heart had indulged in a truly huge slutstuffer. Flurry’s mother Cadance had chided the young princess over and over again for her “preferences,” repeating that love and kindness were more important in a husband than length and girth... yet the whole time, that royal hypocrite was married to the biggest, fattest daddy-dong in all Equestria!

“Finally!” Flurry mused, “a hung guy I can take home to Mum and Dad! Yeah, there’s no way they’ll say no to Mr. Element of Laughter, Junior!” Yes, Cheese Pie was about to have the honour of becoming Flurry Heart’s very first royal consort... whether he wanted to or not!