Anon decides to box Sunbutt(2/5)

by milk rain

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Profanity, Random, Shining Armor, Violence, Princess Celestia, Flash Sentry, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2956

After 1v1ing bug queen and absolutely running her fade, Anon thinks he can now take on Sunny D. Why exactly? Well he beat up the ant and that broke into his house, and Sunbutt lost to her so surely he can take on the number 1 cake eater in the world

After 1v1ing bug queen and absolutely running her fade, Anon thinks he can now take on Sunny D. Why exactly? Well he beat up the over sized ant and that broke into his house, and Sunbutt lost to her so surely he can take on the number 1 cake eater in the world.

(I love taking a photo off the internet and putting GREEN over it, I am so original :derpytongue2:)
(Anon 1v1ing the bug queen is no longer a 1 shot i am truly getting desprate :ajsleepy:)

Published 2024-04-15 23:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-04-15 23:50:00 UTC

Put your hooves up honey

The Princess of Sunflowers was doing what she does every day. Day court, but today was a really slow day there was not much going on. She was listening to Filthy Rich propose some new building he wanted to her. He just kept rambling on even though what he was proposing could be summoned up in two sentences. But her day would turn on its head when then golden doors would slam open.

"And as you can see Princess-" Filthy Rich was interrupted by the doors behind him slamming open. He would look back in confusion only to see the local human Anon standing at the doors. Anon was dressed in black shorts and a black shirt with a backpack with him. he moved away from the door as he approached Sunbutt.

"Excuse me you hairless monkey! but can't you see-" But Filthy Rich would be silenced as Anon placed his hand over his mouth and pushed him out of the way sending Filthy stumbling into his presentation board. He took a few more steps and he was now looking up at Sunscreen.

Celestia took a good look at Anon. She was interested in what he wanted, But She could tell just by looking at his eyes, that there was pure determination running through him. whatever he had to say could make her day less boring After analyzing Anon she smiled as she spoke up.

"Hello Anon what brings you here?"

Anon did not reply straight away he looked back to the door looking over all the nobles he had pushed past through to get in here. Then he looked around at the guards which somehow decided not to stop him. and then he looked back at Sunbutt and he knew this would work.

He pointed at Celestia, and with a commanding voice, he would say. "Listen here Sunbutt I challenge you"

"Challenge me to what exactly?"

"To a fight!" As Anon said this they could hear gasps from ponies all around them, Celestia had already caught onto his plan though. He came in here and made sure there were a lot of witnesses to hear what he was going to say putting her on the spot. He also likely knew that she would never turn this offer down because that would make her look weak in the eyes of her subjects. She truly had no other choice but it should not be that hard to take down Anon she thought to herself.

"Ok Anon, and why would you want to fight me?"

"Well recently as we both know I just beat the shit out of bug queen recently and the fact that you lost to her when she invaded Canterlot gives me a good enough reason to fight you because well if you lost to her and I won against her then its safe to assume I would drag you through the mud if we fought," Anon said smugly

The ponies around them started to whisper to one another as Celestia and Anon kept looking at each other. Celestia would break the silence by saying. "Well, Anon if you want to fight me so bad I'll gladly accept this duel."

But Anon would just laugh, "Don't go expecting things so easily, there is a rule in this fight that you will have to follow."

"Oh and what rule would that be?"

Putting his hand into the side pocket of his shorts he would find what he was looking for we would pull out a golden ring, Anon would then flip the ring off his thumb like a coin before snatching it out of the air and pointing it as Celestia. "you my friend will have to wear this."

Celestia was taken aback by what he was holding in his hand. "My my Anon are you too afraid to take me on at my full strength?" Celestia said with a grin plastered on her face

"No, actually I bet I could still beat the bricks off you even if you weren't wearing this magical inhibitor, see I have taken notice that creatures like you, that cast magic take a while to cast the spell they want to do about a couple of seconds around 3 to 4 give or take. So If I just stay on my target and don't give them the space or time to cast it it's pretty much a battle of physical strength at that point. But knowing you, you're a much bigger threat than bug queen, so I took extra precautions."

"Well, nonetheless I still accept your offer for this duel."

"Good then when would you like to start?"

putting a hoof on Anon's shoulder she would lean in close, telling Anon. "We can start...now" As she said this both of them were teleported away

Anon would be teleported face-first into sand, as he got up, he would dust himself off and take a look around in the new room they were in. "And where are we?" Anon questioned

"One of many training grounds for my guards, we can use this without being bothered by anyone," Celestia stated

"Uh... I don't know about that one Celestia." Anon would say pointing at some guards who were on the bleachers and looking down at them. 5 guards to be exact 2 of them standing out that being shining armor and flash Sentry. Celestia would look at them with a scowl before sighing deciding to speak up and address her guards.

"Hello, my faithful guards while I would ask for you to leave I think a small audience would not hurt."

"What is going on?" Flash asked.

"Me and Anon here are about to duel."

"You and the human Anon?" Said Shining Armor. The guards would look at each other before 3 out of 5 of them would start bursting out into laughter.

"Oh man, I feel sorry for you Anon. This will be over in less than 2 minutes if you can even make it that far." One of the guards said.

"In all honesty, I don't even need to be here to see the outcome of this match." Another guard said

"Are you all crazy have you guys not seen the newspaper recently Anon beat up the changeling queen badly with just his hooves- I mean hands," Flash said.

"Ok, but that's the Changeling queen. We are talking about Celestia here flash." Shinning said he looked at Anon with concern on his face. "Are you sure you want to do this Anon?"

"Of course captain I have confidence."

"That can only get you so far." Whispered shining. Anon looked at Celestia giving her a nod as he got ready putting on some black hand wrapping while Celestia put on the magical inbhibtor both prepping for the match.

"Hey. why don't we bet on this match? I got 20 bits on Celestia." One of the guards would say putting 20 bits down.

"Um, you know we are not allowed to bet on matches right? It's against the rules." Shining said with a stern tone in his voice. The other two guards did not listen as one bet 60 bits and the other 10 bits on Celestia.

"You guys are idiots Anon is going to win. And I am very confident in that so...120 bits." flash said. Shinning eyes would go wide at the number of bits and would quickly change his tone.

"Ya know it would not hurt to play along. Kinda need some more bits for Candences birthday, gotta get her a nice gift you know." Shinning would add 20 bits to the pile. As the guards were counting up the bits, a purple glow would appear on top of them as Luna had teleported right beside them. They stared at Luna who was staring at Anon before she looked down at them.

"Betting on match are we?"

"No," One of the gaurds said with worry in his voice.

"Ah, don't worry I won't do anything or tell her. You're not my guards anyways, but if you were I would make all 5 of you do 30 laps around the entire castle." Luna said a grin coming across her face. The guards looked at each other some sweat coming down their faces.

"But if you are going to do this why have the bits out in the open for her to see." Luna would sigh smacking her hoof against her face. "You move in front of the bits. You move to your left and flash move to your right." The guards did as they were told. "See now she won't see them. And it's a good thing too because I am about to get their attention."

Luna would clear her throat before shouting in the canterlot voice. "ANON THE HUMAN!" Anon was startled by the calling of his name and quickly looked over to the bleachers where he saw a judging Luna looking at him.

"Yes?" Anon said

"You spar with my sister but not me?"

"I know you would probably be into a sparing session with me but I wanted to go at Celestia first. And is she not the strongest out of the two of you?" Some of the guards looked up at Luna an audible "OH!" could be heard. Luna quickly looked back now cutting them all off.

"SILENCE YOU FOOLS STOP ACTING LIKE 5-YEAR-OLD FILLYS!" Luna shouted. The guards quickly shut up.

"Celestia, tell Anon here that we are both equal in power and strength." Celestia stared at her sister for some time before slowly looking away not saying a word.

"Ah, this is a betrayal! You know what Anon. KICK HER ASS!" Everyone went silent. The only one speaking was Celestia.

"Wow thanks, Lulu for cheering me on." Sarcasm in her voice. Luna would sit down cross her fore-hooves and look back down at the guards.

"I bet 200 bits on Anon." She stated bluntly as she made more bits appear with her magic.

"DAAMMMMMNNN!" One of the gaurds said

"Oh, I am eating good tonight." Shinning Armour said rubbing his hooves.

Anon finished wrapping the final bandages on his hands. He made sure they were a tight fit before looking in Celestia's direction.

"Ready?" Anon asked.

"Ready whenever you are."

"Can we get a countdown?" Anon asked looking towards the Bleachers.

"I'll do it" Replied Luna.

"3" Anon took a stance as he glared at Celestia

"2" Celestia glared back with the same energy as his own cracking her neck before digging her hooves into the sand.

"1" They both took a deep breath in.

"GO!" Shouted Luna, As Celestia rushed Anon. Anon keeping his stance waiting for his opportunity. As Celestia got closer he grabbed her horn and used her momentum against her sending her to the sandy ground. Before Celestia could recover a knee came rushing at her hitting her square in the face. Not letting her get any time to recover Anon quickly got on top of her Celestia now on her back as he went for a couple of strikes. She moved her head out of the way dodging his punches before thrusting her horn at Anon. Anon was in shock Holy shit is she trying to take my eye out! Celestia took this window of opportunity and quickly pushed Anon off of her. She would scoop Anon up flinging him into the air. As he fell back down she quickly spun around and was preparing for a buck.

Anon's world slowed down around him as he began to have flashes back to when Chrysalis bucked him. he got broken ribs because of that. "You have to be shitting me." As Anon said this. the hit would make contact with his upper arm sending him flying. He would fall to the ground landing on the sand. he would touch his upper arm. It did not feel like it was broken to him but it could just be the adrenaline pumping in his veins. He looked at Celestia as she spoke up.

"You know if you want to forfeit now I won't blame you Anon."

"Forriet? Like in hell, I would do that!" Anon got to his bearings as he charged at Celestia this time. He would go for her face again but she would still dodge out of the way of the hits. She would counterattack but miss as she stumbled forward.

"Oh! broke your ankles" Anon said as sent a hard punch to the side of her face. Celestia stumbled backwards this time but Anon caught her by the horn holding onto it. He would charge up a mean left hook and slam it into her face letting go of her horn. Celestia tried to regain composure but only to be met with a punch full force into her face breaking her nose.

"Oh shit! Celestia your-" But Anon would be cut off as small chuckles could be heard from Celestia as she got up

"My, my Anon you made me bleed." The whole room was in silence as Celestia spoke. "You want to know something Anon."

"What?" replied Anon

"You are now the 3rd creature in history to make me bleed."

"Wow, I don't know if I should feel honored or scared at that fact," Anon said. As Anon stared at her for a little while longer the chuckling would come back followed up by laughter.

"I have not seen my own blood in a long time Anon!" Anon's stance would soften as his face was not plastered with a look of concern. "You know, you breaking my nose has not made me feel this alive in hundreds of years-" But Anon was having none of it quickly cutting her off

"Now hold on a minute. You would not happen to be secretly a masochist would you?" Celestia stared at him a grin plastred on her face before quickly becoming more serious.

"Seems like I have to lock in now." As Celestia said this she would quickly vanish from sight.

"WHAT I SAID YOU COULD NOT USE YOUR MAGIC, THAT'S CHEATING!" Anon shouted

"Not magic Anon~ Pure alicorn speed!" Anon looked back only to see Celestia behind him staring at him with the craziest look imaginable.

"Bye-bye ~," Celestia said as she punched him with her Fore-hoof sending him flying. before he could hit the ground she used her speed to get behind him, grabbing his neck and slamming him into the sand about 5 times before giving him a break.

"Do you yield human?" Anon looked at her rage now filling his face.

"I yield to no one!"

"Suit yourself~" She threw him into the sand one last time before letting go. Anon quickly recovered grabbing a fist full of sand and sending it into Celestia's eyes.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S CHEATING!" She shouted. Anon went in for some punches with multiple left and right hooks before finishing it with a forceful headbutt. He now saw that Celestia was off balance. He realized that she was on the ropes and he could finish it right now. A couple of jabs to the face, a left hook then a right. Celestia was beyond dazed she was about to fall over, but Anon wanted the knockout, he grabbed her horn one last time as he pulled back his fist for an uppercut.

"W-wait," Celestia said. But for her it was too late as Anon rammed his fist into her jaw. he swore he saw the eyes roll into the back of her head as she was sent flying. She would crash down onto her back As Anon walked up to her side. He listened for breathing and hoped he did not kill her not that he thought he could kill her anyway but nonetheless, she was breathing.

As it all settled in The adrenaline pumping through him began to disappear he could now feel that she in fact broken a bone and he quickly fell right beside her as he held his arm in pain.

Everyone in the bleachers was silent except for Luna who was munching on some popcorn and Flash who was snickering to himself.

"HAHAAHAH SUCK IT LOSERS!" Flash quickly grabbed all the bits. Luna stopped munching on her popcorn and looked at Flash.

"We are splitting the bits Don't forget that Flash." As she said this she would teleport over to Anon and Celestia. She looked at the both of them examining them before Using her magic and casting a healing spell on them both. Anon watched as the blood around Celestia would begin to disappear and she would begin to awake.

"Ow, Did I win?"

"No, you did not Tia." Said Luna as she began to much on popcorn again. Celestia looked over to Anon.

"If it broke, that was never my intention Anon sorry, just tried to hurt not break." Celestia said guilt in her voice.

"Eh, not all that bad i have had other bones broken before. And I should say sorry too for going a bit overboard with my punches. I almost thought I killed you." Celestia laughed at that.

"Kill me? You might make me bleed, but killing me? In your dreams human."

"Yeah yeah whatever." Celestia put up a hoof gesturing to Anon.

"What are you doing?"

"hoof-bump" Anon chuckled as he raised his fist.

"We humans call it a fist-bump." They smashed fists and hoof together as a wince of pain jolted through Anon as they did it. Celestia's smile would soon dissipate as she remembered something.

"Anon"

"Yeah?"

"I AM NOT A MASOCHIST!"

"Oh boy, here we go."

Author's Note

Thanks for the Feature. 4/16/2024 to 4/18/2024