The CMC Try to Prank Call
Diamond Tiara had been covered by a premium silk blanket. She had a sleep mask adorning her face, shielding her eyes from the sun that shone into the room through her window. She had decided to sleep in because it was the weekend. She had no school, which meant she could sleep as long as she wanted. At least, that’s what she had hoped for.
*RING RING RING RING*
Diamond Tiara tossed and turned in her bed, grumbling as the sudden cacophony of her phone began to awaken her. “...five….more….minutes….” she vainly tried to bargain with the phone. She wasn’t expecting any phone calls today since Silver Spoon was supposed to be busy helping her parents run their business.
*RING RING RING RING*
Diamond Tiara tried to ignore the phone. She was determined to sleep at least another few hours before even thinking about getting up. Her week was long and stressful as her father was going through the process of finalizing his divorce with her mother, who she didn’t like if she was being honest with herself. Normally she wouldn’t care about this development, but her mother’s constant nagging had kept her up for hours each night. She had to have this. She deserved it. The phone stopped its ringing, relieving Diamond Tiara.
*RING RING RING RING*
The phone started up again only a few moments later. Now angry, the filly quickly sat up and slid off her sleep mask, glaring at the phone sitting on her nightstand. “Interrupting my sleep..! Who would even be calling me at an hour like thi–”, Diamond Tiara started as she looked over at her window, noticing the sun filled sky. “Nevermind…” she sighed defeatedly. She then began to wonder, why WOULD someone be calling her? Usually she only received calls from Silver Spoon. ‘Maybe it’s important?’ she wondered, quickly reaching for the still blaring phone.
“HELLO? IS THIS DIAMOND TIARA?”
Diamond Tiara had answered the phone, hearing a somewhat familiar yet unrecognizable voice. “Yes, what do you want?” she yawned as she responded.
“MY NAME IS…”
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Scootaloo began to search the room, looking for something that could inspire a fake identity for her to use. She hadn’t thought this through. Scootaloo quickly covered the phone's microphone, so as to not give away her identity. “Girls, what do I say?” Scootaloo asked nervously, glancing at Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, who had been scouring a large phone book.
“...Hello?” Diamond Tiara asked, confused by the sudden silence.
Scootaloo began to get antsy, not wanting to blow the perfect opportunity to prank her bully.
“Maybe you could pretend to be her long lost brother?” Sweetie Belle suggested.
Scootaloo shook her head, not liking the idea. She thought it was far too tame.
“How’s about ya pretend to be her pops?” Apple Bloom asked, not taking her attention away from the colossal book.
Scootaloo grinned, liking this idea much more. She nodded and removed her hoof from the microphone.
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“IT’S ME, FILTHY RICH, YOU KNOW, YOUR FATHER?”
Diamond’s eyes widened as a smile crept onto her face. “Oh, hey daddy! Sorry for being so rude, I’ve just been so tired ever since you and mom filed for a divorce… Can you forgive me?” she grinned hopefully, she didn’t want to upset her father, especially not after the divorce. She knew it had been hard on him.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------
“O-OF COURSE I CAN, HONEY…”
This was news to the crusaders, they didn’t think Diamond Tiara was capable of any emotions other than anger and envy. They certainly didn’t know about her less than desirable home life.
Scootaloo gulped, beginning to think that it wasn’t worth it. The other two crusaders now let their full attention lock onto the pegasus.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea…” Sweetie Belle whispered, now evidently nervous as well.
“Y-Yah…maybe ya should just hang up..?” Apple Bloom added, also looking uneasy.
Scootaloo continued, much to their dismay.
“SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY?”
“Well, Silver Spoon is busy today, so I was just going to sleep all day.”
“THAT’S NOT VERY PRODUCTIVE, DEAR.”
“I know, daddy… but there’s nothing else I can really do… I just feel so drained.”
“WHY NOT GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY?”
“Like I said, daddy, Silver Spoon is busy today and… I… I…”
“YOU WHAT, HONEY?”
“To be honest, daddy… she’s my only friend and… I don’t think that anyone else would want to be my friend… not after how I…” Diamond Tiara seemed to have been getting emotional, sniffling as she spoke.
“DIAMOND…”
“I’ve been mean, daddy. I’m sorry… I'm so sorry… I never wanted to disappoint you, I jus–” Diamond Tiara had broken into tears now.
“IT’S OKAY, I’M NOT, err– I’M NOT MAD AT YOU!”
“...R-really? B-b-but I have no friends, daddy!” Diamond Tiara fought through her sobbing to respond.
“THAT’S FINE, DIAMOND. YOU COULD ALWAYS GO MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS.”
“I wish I could, b-but no one would take me seriously! All I’ve done for years is bully everypony! No one would want to be my friend..! No one would ever forgive an evil pony like m–” Diamond Tiara began ranting, only to be cut off by a new, much more familiar voice.
“I’ll forgive you, Diamond!” Sweetie Belle shouted, taking possession of the phone from a now terrified Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle had been so caught up in the emotional scene that she forgot that they were supposed to be pretending to be Filthy Rich.
“Sweetie! What’re ya doin?!” Apple Bloom whispered a little too loudly.
“...What?” Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow, dumbfounded. “Sweetie Belle? Apple Bloom?!” She began panicking. Why were the Cutie Mark Crusaders with her father? Why did her dad sound like he had been huffing helium? Where was Scootaloo? Why was her dad calling her phone instead of just coming up to her bedroom?
“Oops–” Sweetie Belle yelped.
Apple Bloom quickly took the phone from Sweetie Belle and tried to save face. She thought to herself, what would her big brother say in a situation like this?
“EEEEEEYUP… W-WAIT NO, I MEAN, NNNNOPE.”
Diamond Tiara quickly realized that this wasn’t her dad, but rather the CMC. She wiped the tears from her face, her teeth beginning to grind as her eyes narrowed out of anger. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!” She quickly hung up the phone. New tears began to form in her eyes, only this time they were tears of rage. She was livid.
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“DIAMOND? HELLO? Are ya there?” Apple Bloom kept speaking into the now hung up phone.
“Sorry girls…” Sweetie Belle whimpered, looking down at her hoofs in sorrow.
The room fell silent as the three fillies all began staring at each other. The silence was agonizing, each of them wondering what the others were thinking. It felt like hours had passed before Scootaloo finally decided to break the silence.
“That.. That didn’t feel too good. I think we genuinely upset her.”
The two other crusaders nodded in agreement before they slowly began to turn towards the door.
“WAIT!” Scootaloo begged. “It usually doesn’t go like this, I promise! It’s supposed to be fun! When me and Rainbow Dash do it we always have fun!” Scootaloo proclaimed as she approached the phone book. “Just give it another chance, please?” she pleaded, not wanting her friends to leave.
“Okay, I guess we could try it again… I promise I’ll keep quiet this time.” Sweetie Belle reluctantly gave in.
“Alright, but only because ya are my friend, scoots.” Apple Bloom caved in as well.
“Awesome!” Scootaloo beamed as she flipped through the phone book. “Who’s a pony who wouldn’t get mad?” Scootaloo thought aloud.
“How about Miss Cheerilee? She never gets upset, even when she has to deal with, well, us!” Sweetie Belle offered. Scootaloo nodded as she began hastily entering Cheerilee’s number from the phone book.
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Cheerilee had been grading classwork. She was awfully tired, having pulled an all-nighter in hopes of finishing the workload before next monday. The bags under her eyes were a velvet color. It didn’t help that a good amount of the answers she was given were ridiculous. She loved her students, she really did, but some of these answers were astoundingly stupid, even for them. “2 times 5 equals 22222? 91 minus 1 equals 9? 9 plus 10 equals–” She was suddenly cut off by her phone which had begun to vibrate.
*BZZZZT! BZZZZT! BZZZZT!*
Cheerilee glanced at her phone. “Oh great, I bet it’s the school board.” She sighed dejectedly before she answered the phone. “Hello, this is Miss Cheerilee speaking, how may I help you?” she said flatly.
“HEY, IS YOUR FRIDGE RUNNING?”
‘A prank call? Really?’ Cheerilee thought to herself as she tried to formulate a response.
“I SAID, IS YOUR FRIDGE RUNNING?”
“Yes, it is. Actually, I sent Joe to go catch it.” Cheerilee responded in a disinterested tone.
“...JOE? WHO’S JOE?”
“Joe mama.” Cheerilee replied before hanging up the phone. “Don’t they have anything better to do?” She began to grade the work again. “Apple Bloom gets a B. Diamond Tiara gets a B. Scootaloo gets an F. Silver Spoon gets an A. Snails gets an F. Snips gets a…C? Sweetie Belle gets an A. Twist gets an–”
*BZZZZT! BZZZZT! BZZZZT!*
Cheerilee answered the phone again. “Hello, Miss Cheerilee, how may I help you?” She had a feeling that it was the prankster calling back, but she has been pleasantly surprised before. Snips did just get a C, after all.
“IS MISTER WALL THERE?”
“No.”
“HOW ABOUT MRS. WALL, IS SHE THERE?”
“No.”
“THEN HOW IS YOUR CEILING STANDING UP?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHH!”
“Updog.”
“HUH?”
“My ceiling, it’s standing up because of updog.”
“WHAT’S UPDOG?”
“Just grading some assignments. You, however, seem to be very bored. May I suggest that you get a life?” Cheerilee snarled.
“MAY I SUGGEST THAT YOU… UH… YOU SHUT THE HAY UP?!”
“No. If you keep calling this number I will have you traced, do you understand? Good. Bye.” Cheerilee hung up the phone, making sure to put her last few words into a harsher tone to get her point across.
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“DON’T YOU HANG UP ON M– D’aww crud!” Scootaloo groaned, her victim getting away. She turned to the other crusaders, now snickering. “We got her good, huh?”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both gave a confused glance. “Not really?” They replied in unison.
Scootaloo let out a frustrated sigh. “Sorry, girls, I just wanted to have fun. I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this.”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded, seeming to not be mad at her.
“We understand scoots, but it’s gettin late and I think we’re just gonna head on home.” Apple Bloom said warmly, placing a hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder.
“See you at school?” Scootaloo asked in a worried tone.
“Of course ya will.” Apple Bloom reassured her.
Sweetie Belle waved goodbye to the other crusaders as she exited the clubhouse. “See you two on monday!” she cheerily declared.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both soon followed suit.
Author's Note
First story, will edit as needed. If I missed any typos please let me know. Hope you enjoyed.
