Chapter 47: Bacon and Cashmere, The Prince on Mars Reloaded

(By EpicAeromancer33 Written but not Dictated)

The sun is shining on a glorious, white, seaside mansion surrounded by forest and semi-hilly plains. An elaborate wall surrounded it and guards are stationed on the inside of it.

A mile away, a white superbike speeds down the straight road leading to the mansion at a blinding pace. On it was a man who was wearing a white double-breasted suit and a white helmet. The noon sun shines brightly on him through the tree coverage. That, along with the speed he's going at, gives him the appearance of an apparition shifting across the otherwise dim road.

The gate in the outer wall surrounding the mansion comes into view as the man, instead of slowing down, accelerates the bike and proceeds to stand on top of it. The bike smashes through the wall, and as it tumbles around spastically before clotheslining two guards and smashing into the front door before coming to a stop.

The surrounding guards rush to see the mess and look around to see the culprit who was driving the bike but they don't see anything. Something shiny in the sky catches one guard's eye and as he looks up he sees the man in white barreling at him holding a pink and white Gibson Explorer guitar.

Before he could even move he was smashed in the face with the hard wooden body of the guitar and flung into the fountain. The rest of guards don't hesitate to open fire but before they could get more than a couple rounds off the man swung the guitar and sent a giant shockwave, exploding on impact, sending more guards flying and causing dust to be kicked up all around the front of the mansion.

"Kill him!" A guard yelled despite nobody being able to see anything.

The man moves at a blinding pace, through the dust cloud and grabs one guard by the neck and slams him down, breaking it in the process. Just as a guard sees it the man speeds off before he could fire and a second later he gets smashed in the back of the head by the pink guitar.

The main guard is freaking out and constantly turning around to see if he can spot the man but it was to no avail as he was quickly snatched up by the neck, causing him to drop his gun and stare into the man's white motorcycle helmet.

"W-what do you wa-" "Where's Alexander Desperaue?" The man said interrupting the frightened guard.

"H-he's through there, at the seaside at the back of the mansion." The guard said, pointing his finger at the large, destroyed, wooden doors.

"Thanks." The man said before taking his hand the he held the Explorer in and flicking the guard in the forehead, knocking him out.

He lets go of the guard and as his body falls to the ground, he walks over to the fountain and sits down, pushing the guard who was flung over there off in the process and rests his guitar on a slant, being supported by the edge of the fountain. As the man takes off his helmet it turns out that it was Magic who then lies down on the fountain ledge as a cartoony-looking, little, flying, blue imp struggles to get out of his ear.

"What the fuck was that!?" The imp said flying all over the place. "I said stealthily! Stealth-il-y! I mean who smashes a bike through the front of a mansion!?" The imp had a small horn on its forehead with abnormally big, bright purple eyes and had bat wings. He wore a yellow cape with the letter "L" on the back of it as well as a pair of bright yellow cowboy boots.

The imp continues to talk but then stops, realizing that Magic hasn't said a word. As he looks around he becomes shocked when he sees that he's sleeping and snoring.

"What have I done to earn such a slacker as a partner?" He said as he becomes depressed and starts crying on the ground before immediately switching his mood and starts frantically shaking Magic as he's sleeping.

Once he lets go Magic falls back into the fountain and wakes up, nearly drowning.

"Good. You're finally awake; now then, let me brief you on this contract." The imp said, donning glasses as well as a paper and a pen. "Alexander Desperaue, the 3rd ranked assassin in the world-" "Question!" Magic said, intruding the imp, much to his displeasure.

"What are we doing again?" Magic asked as the imp as it immediately froze up and shattered like glass, then immediately reformed, sulking at the ground with exaggerated tears coming from its eyes.

"Why god!? Why!? What have I done to have to follow this guy!?" The imp said as his hand covered his mouth while still crying.

"Hey don't be such a sad sack. Here, have some cotton candy." Magic said, holding a giant glob of cotton candy on a stick.

The imp gasps as he switched from being sad to being happy on a dime, "You really mean it!?"

"Of course kiddo! Magic said with an energetic thumb up as the imp starts to devour the sugar.

After a few minutes of eating the imp immediately stops and chucks the rest of it at Magic's face, "What do you think you're doing, you know I hate it when people bribe me with cotton candy!" the imp yells while pointing his finger at him.

"Now I remember!" Magic says as he combs back the cotton candy into his hair and makes a pink afro out of it, "We're spreading the word of Funk across the universe!" he says as he dons a pair of gold sunglasses.

"No! Now pay attention!" The imp said with cartoony fire appearing from him.

"Awww no fun." Magic said as he sits back down at the fountain, with one leg over the other and resting his head in the palm of his hand, still wearing the pink afro and the sunglasses.

"Okay… Alexander Desperaue, the 3rd ranked assassin in the world, notorious cereal smuggler and dusty smell addict. Went off the grid a while back to hide from other assassins. Reward Bounty: F/ 340,000,000,000-" He stops when Magic's face smushes his out of the way.

"Cereal smugger? Ha! The other guy who controlled pineapples sounded more dangerous!" Magic said as his face gets smushed away by the imp's.

"Magic listen, we have to be subtle, you know, finesse it." The imp said as the piece of paper poofs away in a puff of smoke.

"'Finesse' got it." Magic said as the imp pulls the glasses and pink afro from his head and he smiles and shrugs. He then picks up the guitar and starts walking towards the mansion.

"You do know what finesse is, right?" The imp said, flying next to his head.

"Of course I do Billy." Magic answers.

"I already told you, my name is Lox'op." the imp replied.

"Of course Johnny." Magic replied back earing an annoyed grumble from Lox'op.

As they enter into the mansion. They see that the lobby is decorated with marble and light brown carpets across the floors as well as multiple chandeliers. They see two curved staircases leading up to the second floor and in the middle was the white superbike, smashed into the wall with two guards next to it.

"Damn, I gotta get me a place like this." Magic said as he walks up the stairs.

"Stay focused Magic." Lox'op said in Magic's mind as he is now inside of his head. Once he gets to the top he comes face to face with a large and very long hallway filled with various suits of armor. The hallway had very large windows at one side of it and the armors were on both sides with a red rug stretching the entire length of it.

"Don't do anything Magic." Lox'op said, "I sense these suits of armor-" "WOW this is cool!" Magic said, interrupting him and putting on a suit of armor.

"You idiot! I told you not to do anything!" Lox'op yelled.

"Don't tell me how to live my life Macduff." Magic said casual. As he kneels down to strap armor onto his shin, a gauntlet silently flies overhead with a sword aimed right at his head.

Just as the gauntlet fires itself and the sword at Magic's head, he dodges it and kicks it into a wall causing the sword to become stuck and the gauntlet to lose consciousness but before he was able to get his foot back on the ground a multitude of suits jump at him, armed with various weapons ranging from broadswords to maces.

Magic quickly jumps out of the way just as the armors' weapons strike the ground but even more armor rush past them and swing at Magic who crouches and strikes one of them with his fist, causing the gauntlet on his hand to shatter and jettisoning them backwards. He starts to move again but more and more suits kept coming at blinding paces.

Magic jumps up and over them, taking out and spinning his guitar in his hand and lands. The empty, metallic opponents' feet screech on the floor as they turn around with swords drawn but before they could touch him Magic unleashed a rift causing a giant shockwave to erupt all around him, destroying the armor and turning it to ash, along with his armor.

"Aw damn, I liked that armor." Magic said relaxing and walking towards the back of the mansion.

"You get attacked by freakin living armor and you're acting like its normal!?" Lox'op yelled but then became slightly unhinged, "Of course! Why should I be surprised!?" to which he promptly sighs.

Magic exits to the back of the mansion which reveals a beautiful scene. The shining sea stretched out into the horizon, the patio that he was on was completely empty and in front of it laid one lounging chair with a man who looked like he was in his fifties. He was dressed in a vintage, turn-of-the-century suit, without the jacket and had grey hair and yellow eyes.

Magic began walking over there but the sound of the man's voice caused him to stop, "What are you doing here rookie?" The man asked in a raspy voice.

"I'm here to take your position and get closer to rescuing my beloved." Magic answered, raising his guitar by the neck and pointing its body towards the man.

"Rookies. Nothing but rookies come here seeking glory and fortune, but you're the first to come here with an actual purpose. So son, I offer this one question. Do you like waffle?

"I like pancake." Magic said with a daring grin.

'Wrong answer BOY!" The man yelled as he jumped up from his seat and shot out bullets of dust from his chest at incredible speeds to which Magic dodges and zooms around him. He double-hands his guitar and swings it at the man and it contacts with his back just before the man turns into dust and shifts away to the other side of the patio.

"Hmm, I've never seen a Psochomancer before." Magic said.

"And this will be the last time you'll ever see one. You should've chosen waffle, boy." Alexander said, turning his bottom half into dust and launching himself at Magic. Magic's guitar collides with Alexander's forearm that was covered in dense armor made of dust. "I'll give you this, rookie. Not many have been able strike me."

Magic smirks, "Must be your old age." This remark slightly enraged him as he started putting more force into his propulsion causing Magic's feet to start grinding away the tiled floor. Magic held his own but slipped on a wet part of the floor causing Alexander to punch him in the gut with extreme force thanks to his dust propulsion.

Magic flew back but dug his feet into the ground and stopped before hitting the wall of the mansion. He looked around and spotted Alexander still with his bottom half turned to dust, floating in mid-air.

"Rookies will never win, EXPECIALLY when they don't pick waffle!" Alexander yelled before forming a huge ball of compressed dust coursing with static electricity that kept growing bigger.

Magic bends his knees and reverse handles his guitar by the neck while placing the body behind him. He then pulls a cord that starts the motor inside of the guitar which then releases a large rainbow aurora taking the form of large butterfly wings protruding from it with angelic wings extending in the middle of them and a bunch of aurora trails.

"Rookies! Rookies the lot of ya! Never choosing waffle! You'll fail! This world is cruel and it'll take everything you've ever loved! Die with your pitiful ideals! Dust World!" Alexander said as his Dust World move had just reached critical mass.

The area around magic seemed to start getting crushed due to the immense gravity that was being emitted from his guitar's Reality Drive, "I won't die here!" He said, looking downward but then looked at Alexander and smiled, "There's a beautiful girl waiting for me at the summit." He then launched himself at an insane speed towards the dust man, shattering the ground he was standing on in a second.

Alexander hesitated after hearing his words, a flash of images ran through his mind showing his life, his true love, the day she died, his oath to exact revenge on the man, and his eventual failure.

"Take care Wafflehead." A woman's voice said playfully as a final image of him and a woman kissing ran through his head and he became calm and sighed just as Magic flew by him, slicing and nearly bisecting him across the stomach with his brightly glowing guitar.

Time seemed to slow down as Alex fell and crashed into the floor and Magic landed next to him, "Hey kid." Alexander said as he coughs out blood and Magic looks at him, "If…When you save your broad, never let her go…" He said with a smile while staring up to the sky and feeling the apparition of his love hugging him before he took his last breath, evaporating into dust, and blew away.

"I won't Alexander." Magic said before Lox'op, pulled himself out of his ear.

"We're rich!" He said, pulling out the 340,000,000,000 F/ and throwing it into the air, but his celebration didn't last long as a piece of paper flew in his face and left a giant, red rectangle on his face as Magic nearly died of laughter.

"Shut up!" Lox'op said as steam shot from his ears, before he looked at the paper and Magic snatched it from above him.

"Woodrow Baroninski, the 2nd ranked assassin in the world and wanted for color theft and snoring too loud in public places. F/ 670,000,000,000." Magic turns the paper up-side down, left, right, and backwards then scratches his head. "What? No location like the last one?"

"Well it's a good thing you have me! Isn't it?" Lox'op said pointing his thumb towards himself as a gleam sparkled in his smile.

"You know him, Jackie?" Magic said raising an eyebrow.

Lox'op started to sweat and take his time to answer, "N-No, of course not! Now listen up, due to my vast underworld, black market connections that you'll never have due to not being as awesome as me-".

As he continued to brag, Magic spaced out and thought to himself, 'Do you believe in magic? Yeah! Believe in the magic of a young girl's soul, believe in the magic of rock n' roll, believe in the magic that can set you free!' suddenly he bursts out singing, "OHHHHHHHHH~! I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT MAGIC!"

"Did you hear anything I said!?" Lox'op said, grabbing and shaking him.

Magic stares at him blankly, "One Shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask. What dreams of chronic…and sustained cruelty…".

"What?" He said, freaked out a little.

"Of course I did, bromandudemanmanman!" Magic said energetically.

"Oh yeah? Where does Woodrow live?" Lox'op said, confident that he was right.

"A flying yacht." Magic said with a smile.

"…Lucky guess." He said as they both walked to the front of the mansion to get the superbike out of the wall.

*A day later*

It was noon as Magic and Lox'op, who was inside his head, were flying through the clouds on the superbike that was now converted into a hoverbike and is leaving a rainbow trail behind it as it flew across the sky.

They see the yacht off in the distance. It was a very large and had gold trim with about 34 sails spread out among three masts and had two large turbines at each side. The solid gold and marble figure head underneath the bowsprit depicted a naked woman with wings that were wrapping around her.

"Jeez, what's guy gotta do to get one of these!?" Magic said as he landed on the front deck of the ship and stared around. The ship was at least 3 stories tall, and that's not even including the floors below deck.

"Ah, Magica Junkoloc Jacques! I've been waiting for you! Please come, come in." An ecstatic voice said as a few doors opened to the yacht and several women in playboy bunny-esque outfits come out and escort Magic to the top floor via elevator.

Once the sliding doors open they reveal that the top floor is just one big, faintly pink room. Multiple girls in the same bunny suit were scattered all around the place, playing the hot tubs full of bubbles, chasing each other with pillows, carrying drinks.

"Sweet Pony Christ, am I in heaven?" Magic said.

"No mon ami! This just The Aphrodite!" A man with a French accent said, sitting on a very large red, couch surrounded by at least a dozen of the girls who were feeling him up. He was a Caucasian man, dressed in a gold suit and had semi-long brown hair and green eyes.

"I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you're Woodrow Baroninski, right?" Magic asked.

"Of course I am autre assassin! But enough with the parler affaires! Please sit!" Woodrow said, making a gesture as the girls lead him to the smaller yet still big couch opposite of the Frenchman.

"You know Woodrow-you mind?" Magic said, pointing to his leg that was about to rest on the table in front of him.

'Not at all." He replied as Magic crossed his legs and rested both on the table while slouching down, while resting his guitar on the side of the couch.

"You know Woodrow; you're the first person who hasn't tried to kill me; respect, respect." Magic said grabbing a glass of sparkling white champagne from a girl who brought it over and raised it in a toast.

"Ah mon home, same to you!" He said, raising a glass of the same champagne, "We've gone through hundreds to get to this point, at toast to both of us!" He said as they lean forward, clink their glasses, and drink it. "Girls! Prepare the cotton candy!" Woodrow said, as a giant platter of cotton candy was brought out by five girls and placed in the middle of them.

"COTTON CANDY!" Lox'op said, bursting out of Magic ear and starting to devour it all.

"Ahhh~, it's l'idiot bleu." The man said, staring condescendingly at the blue imp.

"Shit…" was all the blue imp could say as he clenched his teeth.

"You two know each other?" Magic asked, drinking out of the champagne bottle.

"He's the person who trapped me in this form!" Lox'op said, yelling at Woodrow, "That freakin power!"

"Of course I stole your body, stupide!" Woodrow said, getting up and walking to him. "You were a weak assassin! Look at what I've became! I'm the 2nd ranked assassin out of the endless sea of pièces inutiles de merde!" Woodrow said, pointing to Magic, who raised an eyebrow. "Just lie there and eat your cotton candy, because you're never getting it back!"

Just as Woodrow was walking back to sit down, Magic swings at him with the guitar but Woodrow ducks, spins around, and pulls out an IMI Uzi, but before he could fire it Magic knocked it out of his hand and swinging his guitar overhead, colliding with Woodrow's shoulder and sending him downwards and straight through the ship.

"What are doing!?" Lox'op said, surprised.

"Getting your body back." Magic said smiling.

"I never asked for your help." Lox'op said angry.

"Lox'op, you're my friend, I can't stand back and watch a friend go through pain." Magic said as Lox'op became silent.

"I never asked you to be nice to me." Lox'op said, looking down.

"Shut up." Magic said, playfully, earning a small chuckle from the blue imp.

Suddenly bullets ripped through the front window, shredding everything in the room. Magic ducks, covering his head from the shrapnel as Lox'op dives into a closet nearby.

"Vous morceaux de merde! Vous pensez que vous pouvez me prendre! Woodrow Baroninski! et survivre? Je vais vous envoyer en enfer flashily!" Woodrow was heard outside as Magic looks and sees that he's standing on a rainbow and that he was holding a custom made SA80 assault rifle with a scope, drum magazine, and a grenade launcher.

Magic quickly runs towards him as he shoots the grenade but Magic jumps to the left and keeps running. Just as he was at the window the grenade blows up and wreaks the entire room and Magic flies out of it and lands on the deck then proceeds to run toward the hoverbike.

"Ne pas essayer de s'échapper!" Woodrow says as he extends his arm and a bright rainbow shoots out of it, allowing him to zoom over to Magic on it. Just as he got there Magic slides on the floor, underneath the rainbow that was going to decapitate him and gets to the bike. Revving it, Magic summons his guitar which comes from a portal in front of his palm and his bike takes off as Woodrow was following him and they disappear into the clouds.

Lox'op, now standing on the deck, looks at the clouds, "Friend…" he says.

In the sky around the still moving yacht, Magic was ducking and weaving to avoid getting shot. He drives into some clouds just as Woodrow unloaded on it, but the cloud dissipates and Magic, without the bike, comes screaming downwards through the sky towards him.

Woodrow immediately jumps backwards as Magic's guitar collides with the rainbow which proceeds to shatter it and Magic starts falling through the sky. Woodrow shoots a rainbow and slides on it to catch up to Magic.

"Idiot! Vous pensiez que cela fonctionnerait!?" Woodrow yells as he's loads his gun.

"Of course!" Magic yells responding and pulls back his arm and like that the bike speeds downwards and slams into Woodrow's back, causing him to black out and drop his weapon. Woodrow falls as Magic gets on his bike and revs it, trying to get it to start.

He sees the water below and just as he was about to hit it the bike starts and he avoids the water while a large wake splashes up from the ocean. However, before Magic could even catch his breath a rainbow shoots towards him and clips the bike.

"Je vais te tuer." Woodrow says, coughing have way through the sentence as he flies towards Magic on the rainbow as he shoots a volley of rainbow constructs from his free hand. Magic immediately flies away, both of them hugging the water, towards a nearby archipelago.

Both of them duck and weave in-between the coves and rocks, Woodrow assaulting Magic who just keeps dodging the constructs that explode on the water and various rock formations.

A giant rock came between them and just as they passed it Magic flies towards Woodrow who summoned a rainbow sword. Both of them clashed just as they entered into a large cave at the bottom of a mountainous formation in the middle of the archipelago.

A few minutes passed before a giant explosion occurred, causing the mountain to collapse in on itself. And from the rubble was Magic flying upwards, followed by Woodrow, still holding his sword.

"Je vais mettre fin à cela, maintenant!" Woodrow yells as he and Magic head in opposite directions and then turn and fly towards each other, building up blinding speed as they pass each other, and then proceeded to stall in the air.

Magic's torso and arm holding the guitar started to get sliced up, as well as the bike but it held steady despite smoke starting to form.

"Numéro deux. Qu'est-ce un nombre terrible de." Woodrow says, scoffing as he lost consciousness, from the hits inflicted on him by Magic's guitar.

As the rainbow starts to disappear and he starts to fall Magic grabs him by the wrist and looks around.

"Ah crap…where the ship?" Magic says, sighing.

Back at the ship Lox'op was still looking around at the sky, "Friend, I never had one before…" he says, looking downwards and smiling.

"Lox'op~" a voice inside his head said, "This is Magic~. Where are you~?"

"Why are you talking like that?" Lox'op said confused.

"I thought it'd be cool." Magic said "Now, where are yo-wait, yep I see you…ah crap…prepare yourself."

"What?" Lox'op said even more confused before something smashes into the side of the yacht, causing it to tilt slightly, "The fuck was that!?" Lox'op said, not getting an answer as flew downstairs and got to the ball room below deck.

The previously extravagant room was now destroyed with a giant hole in the wall leading to the outside. And on the floor was a pile of rubble. The rubble started to move as Magic pushes it off of him and laughs with Woodrow's still unconscious body next to him.

"Magic!" Lox'op said speeding towards him and sees that he defeated Woodrow.

"Yo Raffanzo! I got your body back!" Magic said as Lox'op made a slanted smile as hovers over Woodrow. Both of them started to glow brightly, causing Magic to cover his eyes. When the light started to dim he sees that they had switched bodies.

Lox'op looks at his attire, "Meh, tacky but it'll do." Just as a piece of paper appears in front of him and he unrolls it, while he reclines and hovers, "Sir. Murderspree Killgore-" "Oh~ that's a pleasant name." Magic said, interrupting him as he just stares at him.

"Hey, you owe me a laugh, I ot your body back for you." Magic said smiling while pointing at him.

"What I will say is thank you…friend." Lox'op said, smiling as Magic smiling back goofily. "Sir. Murderspree Killgore, the 1st ranked assassin in the world and wanted for just genuinely being a dick…There's no price here." Lox'op said confused.

"Who cares about the money!?" Magic said snatching the paper away from him and throwing it behind him while smiling, "I'm finally going to rescue the most beautiful woman in the world!"

"Oh right -" "Where is this guy anyway?" Magic said, interrupting him as he sighs loudly.

"You know, it would help if you cared to know a little bit about this world." Lox'op says, "He lives in Killgore Tower, a large tower that stretches into the Tropopause."

"I'm guessing he's not the creative type?" Magic asks.

"Not at all." Lox'op responds, "So how are we going to get there?" He says, pointing towards the destroyed bike that was now in pieces.

"Hmm, do you have Chromomancy like that guy?" Magic said.

"No, I actually don't know where he got that from." Lox'op replied as Magic started to think and look around, he then proceed to smile and rush out of the room as Lox'op ran after him in a hurry.

Magic kick's down a door at the second story of the yacht and sees that it was the bridge, he then walks in, "Hey Ravioli, What direction is this tower in?" He asks.

Lox'op, having just gotten to the room is out of breath and looking downwards, "About North-East of here. Why?" He then looks up and a look of dread appears on his face as he sees that they were at the bridge and that Magic was manning the wheel and turning it.

"What are you doing!?" Lox'op says, running to him.

"Here, hold this." Magic says as he hand him the now broken wheel, and he starts to freak out.

"Drink sir?" A girl in a bunny suit appeared, startling Lox'op, but he noticed that she was distorted. As he put his hand up to her, it phased straight through, reveling that the women on board were all just holograms.

Magic climbs on to the bowsprit of the yacht and walks to the end of it. He sees the top of the tower in the distance, he then pulls out a radio and places it down and grabs a CD from his pocket labeled with only one word on a piece of tape, "Tunes". He then puts it in the radio and it starts to play Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf.

As the music starts to play he starts to play on his guitar and sing along.

"I remember every little thing.

As if it happened only yesterday.

Parking by the lake,

and there was not another car in sight.

And I never had a girl

Looking any better than you did

And all the kids at school

They were wishing they were me that night."

Magic continues to sing and jam as Lox'op flies out of the bridge and starts talking to him, but to no avail.

And now our bodies are oh so close and tight."

"Magic! Why the hell did you break the wheel!?"

"It never felt so good, it never felt so right~."

"Magic! You're going to end up killing me!"

"And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife,"

"Magic!?"

"Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife."

"MAGIC!?"

"C'mon! Hold on tight!

C'mon! Hold on tight!"

"Ah screw it." Lox'op said, leaving and hunkering down in the bridge.

"Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night!"

I can see paradise by the dashboard light!"

The song continues as the ship was now closing in on the tower fast but Magic now had his legs apart with his arm extended, pointing upwards, with his other hand on the guitar, and was now singing so loud that it drowned out the actual song.

"Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night!

I can see paradise by the dashboard light!

THOUGH IT'S COLD AND LONLEY IN THE DEEP! DARK! NIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTTT~!

PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT~!"

And just as the song's verse ended the yacht collided with the tower, three floors down from the top, destroying everything, along with itself, until it grinded to a halt.

"Are you psychotic!?" Lox'op said, pushing tons of rubble off of him as Magic gets up from lying on the floor.

"No! I just like having fun!" He said with a giant smile and arms extended, as he quickly put on a pair of huge, gold glasses, and grabs his guitar off the floor and started singing as he ran up the nearly destroyed stairs to the top, "Shakin'! Oh oh oh oh OH! Snappin' her fingers! Oh oh oh oh OH! She was moooooovin' round and round! That girl was shakin'!"

As they got to the top floor, they entered into a big, black room, as soon as Lox'op showed up the door behind them closed, locking itself and the lights turn on with blinding luminance, causing them to shield their eyes.

"Magic!" A female voice called out to him happily as he took his arm away from his eyes and saw a humanoid Pinkie, tied to a giant crystal cross with a wide smile and tears running down her cheeks.

Magic starts running towards her with his arms extended and hearts literally in his eyes, "I've come for you my sweet, cotton candy haired, love of my life!" Suddenly, a giant, TV static-like explosion appeared in front of him, knocking him across the room as well as blowing to roof of allowing the sun to shine in.

Magic lifts himself up, looks, and sees a floating man with glowing purple eyes wearing a powdered wig and a red, frilly suit, similar to what men wore during the 18th century along with really high platform shoes. His face had heavy blush on his cheeks and yellow face paint covering half of his face.

As the man landed everything went black and white for a couple seconds before reverting back to normal. As the man looked at him, he opened his mouth and in the squeakiest fucking voice you can imagine he pronounced, "I! AM! SIR MURDERSPREE KILLGOREEEEEEEEE-!"

He was interrupted by Magic's laughter, "Sweet Pony Christ! What the hell is this!?" He continued to laugh.

"You dare! Mock Sir. Muderspree Killgore!?" The man said but quickly calming down with a short exhale, "You can't hope to beat me. This is an illusion boy. Your dream! I am the embodiment of fear!"

"Don't you think I know this is a dream?" Magic says, while pulling his guitar from the floor.

"Then why do you persist so?" The figure said as static swirled around him, causing Killgore to hover slightly above the ground.

"Because" He said, holding the guitar on his shoulder with a smile, "I just can't stay still and allow a woman to be hurt."

"Fine, come at me! And know true fear!" He yelled as an enormous ball of TV static was shot towards him.

Magic immediately reeves up his guitar and swings at it. As it made contact Magic smiled, however, it soon dissipated when he realized it's phasing through the ball. Time seemed to slow down as the ball engulfed his guitar and then immediately devoured him.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Magic screamed as he was no longer seen underneath the thick cover of the ball.

"MAGIC!" Lox'op and Pinkie yelled, crying out for him as Murderspree laughed on.

"Shout out all you want! He's DEAD! Nobody can beat me! NOBODY! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" He yelled triumphantly. As the ball disappeared and Magic was still rolling on the floor.

"Oh God it hurts! It feels like a thousand needles and razor blades are having a rave on my skin! AHHHH-" Magic immeditly stops and gets on his knees while looking at his hands, "Oh…nothing happened."

"Magic!" Pinkie yelled out to him with a smile.

"This guy is just screwing with me, isn't he?" Lox'op said to himself as he sighed heavily.

On the other side of the room, Murderspree looks on as his eyes are popping out of his head and his mouth is so open that it hit the floor, literally, "NOOOOOOO!" He yelled out with the force of a thousand sun's exploding, getting everyone's attention.

On the ground, a man was walking by with a cup of coffee with a tank top and a pair of shorts as he heard the screaming and looked up at the tower.

"Damn crazy assassins, ruining everyone's quiet time." He said, taking a drink of his coffee and walking on.

Back at the top of the tower, Killgore starts yelling, "No! No! Nope! Nope! NOPE! I never anticipated that you would've found out my one weakness! That is, that my power can't affect anything that's outside of a TV!"

"Damn, that's a terrible superpower…" Magic, Pinkie, and Lox'op said, whispering to themselves.

"That blasted contraption has foiled me all along the way!" Killgore yelled melodramatically as his hands were flailing about, "I bribed this organization with my great great great great grandfather's mystical gold that he kept underneath his bed for me to become number 1 and then I waited for a chance to kidnap that woman! That way I could use her power of the 4th wall to make life into a TV and force all channels to play my glorious static 24/7! It would've been glorious!"

He looks at them as they look back. Minutes pass by as the wind blows gently, "Oh God! That's so damn sad!" Magic yelled as he gushes tears into his arm.

"Oh God! That's so damn stupid!" Lox'op said with wide eyes and a look of disbelief on his face.

"Yeah, you're right." Magic said as he immediately stops crying and zooms over there to hit Killgore.

"No wait! I'll give you my grandfather's go-" He said but was interrupted by a swift hit to the face with the guitar, causing him to fly at a break-neck speed through the sky.

"I'll get you Magic! Just wait until your TV signal gets interrupted! I'll be back! YOU CAN'T KEEP DOWN MUDERSPREEEEEEEE KILLLLLLLGOOOOOORRRRREEEEEE!" He yells as he disappears into the sky, shaking his fist.

"Magic." Pinkie says, jumping into his arms, as they hug in a tender embrace, "you came for me." She said smiling.

"Of course, I would brave anything to keep you safe." Magic said as they move closer but Pinkie puts her finger to his lips, to stop the kiss.

"Save it for the real one." She said, smiling as she started to disappear into crystals and eventually evaporate away.

"So what now/" Lox'op said walking to him and putting his hand on Magic's shoulder.

Magic looks back at him and they both start to smile and don gold sunglasses, "VEGAS BABY!" they both yelled as a portal opened up to the Vegas strip and they ran through it.

Suddenly everything went black and text showed up "A Coolio Brothers in conjunction with Double Uzi's and a Wink Studios Production. FIN."

The scene shifts to a lone man in a movie theater. His face sports a plain look as he stares at the screen, "That was terrible."

Suddenly the doors to the theater flew open, "VEGAAAAAAASSSSSS!" Magic and Lox'op yelled.

END…?

Author's Note

Senseless comedy warms the heart of many during the upcoming cold fall and winter, no? Thank you for reading and have warm pleasant day. I must upload more.