Desire

by Regidar

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Drama, Fluttershy, Princess Celestia, Random
Length: 2468

"What do you want, Discord?"

"What do you want, Discord?"

The question is so simple.

So why can't he answer it?

another ennui story to sit forgotten in the servers somewhere

Proofread by alafoel

Published 2024-02-29 23:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-29 23:20:02 UTC

無

Nothing—無/μ.

“What do you want?”

It’s a very simple question. Invariably complex. So vague as to mean nothing. Yet what does nothing mean?

You can twist and distort it around your hoof. You can ruin it with your paw. Your nonsense can mean nothing at all.

“What do you want?”

How is anyone or anypony or anycreature or anybeing—something we could have covered with anyone, mind you—supposed to know anything? How can we trust it after it’s all been destroyed, all taken away?

Did you know that I was not born like this? Did you know that once upon a time so very long ago in that distant, distant past (whatever “time” is supposed to be, anyway) I was not like this?

I want to fool around with every mind. I want to stand still in space and time. I want them all to suffer like I did. I want to love you—I want to kid. I want the sun, I want the moon. I want the whole world in an afternoon. I want to laugh, I want to cry. Most of all, I want to

I have lost all of everything that I was supposed to be, so I gained everything that I am. Do you see? I don’t suppose you do. What is the point of me trying to elucidate this when nothing comes through?

It is banging my stone head against a brick wall. Whichever is softer is the first to fall.

Nothing—無/μ.

“Don’t you trust me to know what you’re trying to say?”

No one ever has. Why are you supposed to be different?

“Does it matter if I am?”

What a stupid question. Of course you’re supposed to be. Why else would I waste my time with you?

“So you admit that I don’t mean anything to you except what I’m supposed to give you.”

Again, stupidity. All interactions are what any thing can give each other.

“Do you know what kindness is?”

What is that even supposed to mean?

“Will you let me ask you something else?”

I suppose.

“Do you love me?”

Of course I do. I’ve never loved anything like you.

“Not even her?”

Not the moon. Not the stars.

“Not even the sun?”

...

“...”

Not even the sun.

Nothing—無/μ.

the color

and the light

sometimes I still cry

a little harmony

out in the night

What is harmony? What do I want?

Wasn’t it supposed to destroy me?

Wasn’t I supposed to be destroyed?

Why am I still here?

When will the stony silence stop ringing in my head?

Never.

Nothing.

Nothing—/.

Nothing—無/μ.

I have seen all there is to see. I have been everywhere I could be. Nothing. Nowhere.

What haunts me? Is it everything?

Maybe. It is so difficult to tell now, now when nothing is any fun anymore.

No. No, I know. Now, I know.

“Tell me what haunts you.”

It’s not everything, it’s

(Accuracy has been questioned.)

Mu (無, μ) means not having, not existing. A state and concept in which a thing or object does not exist. An object does not constitute a material structure. An expression that generalizes the denial of everything. There are antonyms. The meaning may be different from "not defined (undefined)".

An expression that generalizes

the denial of

No-thing. There are no things. It can’t be anything.

Go off vibes, they told me. Go off whatever feels right. That’s what she told me. Will you tell me that now?

“Am I meant to know what’s right?”

You are kind. You’re kind, right? Your kind’s right.

I watched you there, unable to respond to that. So I laughed, hollow that I am. Rings off the cavern walls of my hollow insides, made of stone. It is all a joke. It is all parody.

After all—

What fun is there in making sense?

Nothing—無/μ.

Meaning

Definition
that things do not exist. It is absolute nothingness, and does not stand on ontology (argument), but stands on of course, so to speak.
The fact that things are not under a certain state. Therefore, we stand on an ontology that implies certain things in other states.

Nothing

無

μ

fun is all there is to anything. nothing is worth doing unless it is fun.
so i can’t make sense. not now.
(establish a rule for—both syntax and error)

Turn me back
Turn me back the way I was
Before I was turned to stone
Before I was driven mad
Before I saw all there was to see
Before I drowned in the endless sea

Before all there ever was

Before me

There is this buzz inside my head

Incorrigible and endless dread

I have seen all there is to see

I have been erased. There is no me.

The dogs didn’t run out to bark at me for once

That was nice—still, I’m lost

If it’s a loss you’ve never known

Cherish that—you can still go home.

Nothing—無/μ.

Examples

There is no ~. There is no ~.

It's not ~.

Absolutely no profit. Complete nothingness.

Something does not arise from nothing .

There is nothing that is not there.

atonal music

One of the most dastardly crimes one can commit is a faux pas and the most criminal of faux pas is to bring up the weather. But you see, I’ve had an endless amount of time to contemplate the weather, and to weather myself. Every rain drop, every crystalline flake of ice, every long, long day and every cold, cold night. I could even feel the silvery reflection of her prison. I could hear her thoughts echo down to the earth, resonating in the dark stone that comprised my form.

Her whispers

Her cries

cackles deranged

just like mine.

And we don’t see each other. Not passing on the street, not locking eyes in The Royal Court. We do not speak. I do not tell her what I’ve heard. I could mock her, and I want to. But something prevents me. Maybe it is the most eensy-weensy bit of kindness that I contracted from you when I wasn’t looking.

The sun—she is everything.
The moon—she isn’t.

But she is something so she must still be

Her other face

Her dear sister

Just that

Just that

Just. Like. That.

So undefined, I am so undefined. What is nothing? What do I want? Have I finally lost my mind?

A thousand years I waited in the prison of my own mind. A thousand years I had to be everywhere there ever was, and see everything there was to see.

I haven’t lost my mind. It’s the only thing I have.

So cornered now. I am so cornered.

I’m cornered.

There are antonyms. Are you my antonym?
“What do you want?”
For you to answer me truthfully.

Kindness in the coldest word

Cruelness in the kindest world

Nothing—無/μ.

imaginary
There is no content.
Not yet
Something that does not exist or has not been done from the past to the present.
No
It's not... An expression that emphasizes logical negation.
Non
It is different from ~. Expressions that emphasize differences.

There was once magic like this everywhere, and the reason I am like this, in stark contrast to everything around me, is because we have become disenchanted. The magic they know, the magic they use, is intrinsic and logical. Unicorns have a telekinetic force they can hone, that they call “magic”. Pegasi can fly, and they can touch the clouds and draw whatever they want from their atmospheric essence. Earth ponies can call up the eternity of life from within the soil itself. But these all follow natural law. These are all balanced. These are all true, and orderly, and in concordance with the possessed world.

I? I alone possess real magic. Real magic, dispossessed of this world and its governance. The magic, the power, the raw power to do what-and-as-I-like. To disrupt this world of its precious balances. That’s why they got rid of me, you know. And that’s why she brought me back. To tease me. To toy with me. To look at something other than the frozen form of my fossilized face contorted in jubilation—and then later fallen in fear.

I had nothing except the purest, realest form of it in there. Raw magic coursing through my lack of a body, the unentangled code of creation.

All these occult formations and esoteric understandings of the world rely on a balancing act, an inverse of energies, a yin and a yang. The only cool thing about fascists is their magic. Harmony must have Discord.

I don’t know snow

I can’t stand pain

Just wanted you back again

Cried out

for love

it is in

my blood

cried out

to know

desert

snow

Nothing—無/μ.

Philosophy
In philosophy ( ontology / existence ), nothingness refers to nothingness in relation to existence, that is, being, and is a relative secondary concept. Absolute nothingness, on the other hand, transcends ontology. From an ontologist's point of view, this is a product of thought, a mere concept, and at first glance it appears that it does not exist in reality.

In these rants, you will only see into my endless narcissism. The complete and utter focus on my own soul. For it is the only soul that matters. The terminus of any and all imaginative or real care for those other than me. There in the cold stone, in the stratification of my puerile existence, it became clear to me that was the truth. The only existence offered to me. Now you seek to claim sovereignty over it? To what end? Oh my sweet. Oh my dear. Oh my bunny. Oh my love. Oh my lil chickadee. Oh, my god.

When you’re trapped inside the hell of your own mind for even a few weeks let alone an entire millennium there is no chance you won’t become entirely absorbed in yourself. Not that I was the most humble and outwardly-thinking individual before, but…

The Stone Prison of The Sun really did me in

Didn’t she?

I try so hard not to be bitter. I really do. I fail spectacularly. I see everyone with their little treats, still foals until the day they die, wandering around occupied in their own lives. I know it is what they get, what they deserve. They don’t know what they have. Only I do. Since I have lost it, only I can truly know.

“How does that make any sense?”

If you’re the only sane one in an insane world—

“—or if you’re the only one who isn’t the problem—“

An impasse.

Am I finally going to lose my—

To me, it seems, to me it seems like none of this ever mattered. But that is the luxury I am afforded. Really, it is all I ever am. I cannot escape what influenced me. None of us can. Yet you claim to still speak about love? About justice? About harmony?

“About kindness.”

What in the ever-loving-fluff (your deranged little sickening ‘ponyfeathers’) is that supposed to even mean? What does that mean? Answer me. What is any of this supposed to mean? What have you meant to do for me? What is your function?

“Does everything have to exist as a function of something else?”

What an absolutely idiotic-nigh-moronic-nigh-[retardacted] thing to say to me. Of course. Everything is a function of everything else. We all fit into a grander equation, or narrative if that’s your particular inclination

Everything except for me.

“Do you really consider yourself so apart from everything else?”

Weren’t you listening?

am i finally going to lose my

self-conscious obsession with everything everyone ever does everywhere all of the time

i need to know

i need to know

how any of this relates to me

am i trapped in this place with you

or are you trapped in here with me?

/)~(\

Nothing—無/μ.

So here it is, the eschaton. The gaze at the gate. The blinding sun, the holy light. The dimmest moon, the uncoiled hate. I could not harness it. I could not unravel the twisted chord. Starlight, Twilight, moonlight, Sunset, sunrise, soft flight.

Harness hope and hope to hold me in my grasp, my scabbed talon and curled claw, crumbled paw. Horns and hooves, fanged tooth and defanged truth.

So here it is.

Here I am.

Goddesses—what is it you seek? What is your final divine plan? What do you want?

Was the truth (that you sought) in that secret cavern I could never hope to plumb? That I could never hope to have in my disintegrating grasp?

In my grasp, what I desire.

“What do you want?”

To know the truth.

To escape from this.

To understand.

The terminus of the self is to—

“Discord.”

Realize—

“There is someone outside of—”

Who I am.

Nothing—無/μ.

“Do you love me?”

Of course I do.

“Do you love me?”

I’ve never loved anything like you.

“Do you love me?”

Not even myself.

“Do you love me?”

Not even myself.

“Do you love me?”

So in love with myself that I am deluded into hating it.

“Do you love me?”

I

Physics
In classical physics, a physically empty space is called a vacuum , and a vacuum is considered to be a complete nothingness. However, in modern physics, electrons can be drawn from a vacuum due to fluctuations in the vacuum. It has been observed that pairs of positrons and electrons suddenly appear. Because of this, modern physics holds that complete nothingness (absolute nothingness) does not physically exist.

why is it so hard to breathe?
my lungs don’t work. i am stone. i am trapped in here alone
why aren’t i dead?
“Do you love me?”
am i losing my
“What do you want?”
am i losing my
“Discord?”
am i losing my m

a little crack in the psychic stone

she seeps into me

and I will do the same.

no longer alone

but when I was—the damage done

she’ll trickle into me

I’ll roar into her

my cruelty more kind

and her kindness more cold

HARMONY DISRUPTOR

DISCORD DISORDER

may we both find balance

until we nullify

in cosmic light

the sun collapses

eternity is born

in the heart of black holes

and all that is left is

nobody wanting to deal with this mess

too many accidents

And now?

And now.

And now this prolix tale of how I lost everything and gained myself

comes to such unsatisfactory ends.

Nothing—無/μ.

Mathematics
In mathematics, the concept corresponding to nothing is the number 0 (zero). With the discovery of 0, mathematics became able to describe nothing.