I'm hoping that this one might be my past life.
Sometimes Celestia had to do things to keep her little ponies safe.
She wouldn’t do them if they weren’t necessary, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Though, they’ve been desperate times for long enough that they’re normal to her subjects. But not to her, no, she refuses to accept this rotten life as normal.
But she has to, so she puts on a friendly face to disguise the disgust she feels towards these circumstances. She smiles, even whilst drinking her too-sanguine tea. She eats the fruit borne from the bodies of her citizens even whilst they taste like ash in her mouth. And she tells them that it’ll get better soon.
Sacrifice is necessary, and when it comes down to it, a sacrifice of honesty is much more acceptable than of lives. It was always her sister’s element anyway. But she would sacrifice every last bit of herself to keep her ponies from having to do the same. Unfortunately, she has no choice.
And so she drinks her bitter penance. The freshest water they have, but to her it tastes like the blood it came from. The pony who served it to her gives her a gentle smile, which is returned without sincerity.
The servant frowns, and Celestia almost thinks her deception was caught, but then she speaks up.
“Your Highness, I’m afraid the crop yields predicted for this season are too low, and we will have to enact the mortis protocol”
The mortis protocol, probably the greatest secret kept from her little ponies. When ponies run out of food they’re told that emergency food stores must be used, and that isn’t entirely false. But what is kept secret is what exactly said food is.
They’re told it’s an underground fungus, dried to prolong its edibility, though given its unhealthy nature and unfortunate taste it isn’t used except in the worst of situations.
Celestia feels sick at the idea.
“Very well, what is the percentage predicted?”
“Fifty percent, your highness”
That was far too low to be simply low yields.
“What happened.”
The servant sniffs, “I’m sorry your highness, but the ponies of the A7 block gazed. It seems in their madness they chose to destroy our crops. The situation should be resolved in the next season but-”
Celestia lowered her head and wept. The servant, to her relief, stayed quiet.
“Tia…” A broken voice called out, and she heard wobbly footsteps before a hoof stroked her back. Celestia looked up with wide eyes. Luna looked at her with a knowing frown.
“Luna, you’re awake, you mustn't-”
“I won’t leave you to suffer alone. My condition is fine.” She looked as though she could hardly stand, and Celestia wondered how much effort she was putting into staying upright.
She noticed the cables connecting Luna to the medical devices straining, and she pulled them closer. Luna flashed a smile in gratitude but it quickly vanished after seeing Celestia’s concern.
“How much did you overhear?” The distant look she received said all she needed to.
“Luna…”
“Forgo my normal meals, I can’t allow you to suffer alone.”
The servant looked uncertain. Celestia’s brows tightened at this declaration, before sighing out.
“Please sister, you need your strength.”
Luna’s expression darkened, and Celestia flinched at the unexpected strength in her eyes.
“For what? More time delirious and in pain with no chance of recovery? I know my condition isn’t changing any time soon. In fact, I believe it would be better if I slept as Cadence did.”
“Sister, no… I need you.”
“So now you admit it?” A sad smile, “Worry not, as I said, you won’t suffer alone. Cadence will keep you company in my place, likely even better than I do. We made an arrangement, before her sleep. I’ve already decided, as soon as the season ends I will enter respite.”
“You can’t.” Celestia choked out, weeping harder than before. Sobs wrenched from her throat as her sister began stroking her once more. She couldn’t leave she just got back. She couldn’t.
“I need to do this, you can’t cling to me forever. You’re not alone sister, you need to see that.”
“Who else but you?” Celestia whispered out.
“Discord, for one, he may spend most of his time guarding the settlement but I’m sure he’s able to talk with you.” A coughing fit tore through Luna, but she carried on, “As I said Cadence will take my place. But more importantly, there are thousands of ponies outside, they may not be immortal but they’re still people. How long has it been since you’ve been outside sister?”
Celestia had nothing more to say to that. Luna fell to her knees, lying down on the soft pony fur carpet. Her head lowered to the ground, her neck too weak to support it any longer. Luna’s eyes were half-lidded but still burned with a clarity Celestia hadn’t seen from her sister in a long time. She could tell she was fighting to stay awake.
“Your Highness, shall I?”
“If Luna requests it…” Celestia felt ashamed at taking food from her sister, but she knew Luna would suffer had she not accepted.
“Very well, that was all, I apologize your highness.” The servant trots away and Celestia hugs her sister’s emaciated form close, all the while dreaming of better days.
When Celestia awoke the next ‘morning’ she was greeted by a tray of fruits and greens. Her sister was absent from her side and she felt a spark of fear. Her eyes darted around until they landed on Luna’s sleeping form nestled in her bed. Her medical devices returned to their normal location.
Celestia forwent the utensils brought alongside the food, instead choosing to levitate her meal into her mouth. The vegetables tasted rotten to her, spoiled by the knowledge that her sister would be forced to subsist off of what she was supposed to.
Celestia stood up in the middle of eating, stretching her sore limbs. She walked towards the window and gazed at the sight outside. Ponies moved about the obsidian pillars, pegasi and thestrals flitting about between the towers while earth ponies and unicorns trotted on bridges. There was a plaza below, a large open space that connected all of the towers, Plaza 6, Celestia recalled.
She thought back to what her sister said, about talking to her little ponies. She had kept herself from doing that, she knew every interaction would be stained with guilt. She was barely able to face herself, let alone her subjects.
And Luna… How could she leave her behind? It had been years since she had left her room, in the fear something would happen to her sister had she left. Celestia lowered her head, she could not go outside. It would be far too much.
But, as she watched the ponies going about their business, she felt a longing from deep inside her soul. Maybe Celestia couldn’t go outside.
But someone else could.
Celestia opened the door to her room, causing the guards outside to jump in surprise.
“Your Highness, is everything well?”
“Send for my aide will you?”
“Yes ma’am, Sprightly Spring will be here shortly,” one of the guards saluted before running off.
Celestia’s eyebrows knitted in confusion, being unable to recognize the name. Her eyes widened as she realized that was the name of her servant. She had never learned of her name. In the past, Celestia had endeavoured to learn the names of all the castle staff, but here she was not even knowing the name of the pony she talked to most.
The remaining guard looked at her with concern, she flinched back and closed the door. Had she really fallen so far? She looked outside once more. She would be out there, talking to ponies, when had that become so daunting? When was the last time she had made a speech, talked to the common pony?
She looked at the calendar on the wall, all the dates jumbled and blurred together like watercolours thrown on a canvas. She flinched back in revulsion.
She stared at her sister on the bed, her once familiar form turned alien. Her mane red like the eye that stole her moon. Her body decayed.
Celestia fought the urge to puke as the taste of her breakfast returned. She guzzled a glass of water but the taste of blood forced its way down her throat.
She looked outside for some form of solace but it was all colourful static and noise.
She opened her mouth to scream.
“Your Highness?” A jump, Celestia’s horn flared up with an attack spell ready to cast.
She turned around and her fear cooled at the sight of her servant, Sprightly as she had now learned. She let go of the spell, forcing a gentle smile onto her face.
“I apologise, Miss Spring.” Sprightly looked taken aback.
“O-Oh, you’ve never addressed me by name before.”
“I apologise for that as well, I’m sure you’re curious as to why I called you?” She received a nod in response.
“I’m going to leave my room today, though not as myself.”
“Your Highness?”
“There is a spell, much like a changelings-” Sprightly looked confused, before changing to a look of recognition.
“Oh, one of the old races, I’m sorry Your Highness I’m afraid I did not pay that much attention to those in history.”
“Species, but yes. Changelings possessed the ability to change their form. This spell emulates their natural ability. I will use it, while I’m gone I’d like for the guards around the chambers to be doubled and a doctor monitoring Luna.”
“Yes your Highness, it will be done.” Sprightly nodded.
Celestia was pleased, she lit her horn to cast the spell. The spell enveloped her body in yellow fire and then she was gone. In her place was a demure unicorn mare with a yellow mane and light pink coat. Her cutie mark was a sunbeam coming through a window, a reminder of what was lost.
“Until I return to my ordinary form I will be Natural Light.” Natural was a persona she had constructed after the death of her faithful student, named to honour her memory.
“Would you like me to escort you outside?”
“No need.” Her horn flared up once more and in a flash of light she was outside, transported to the plaza. Her unfinished breakfast left forgotten.
Many ponies surrounded her, going through their days. Natural was overwhelmed by the amount of ponies suffocating her. At the same time, she was isolated, she knew no one. The crowd was too close, but too far at the same time. She felt lost, and scared.
A distant memory, from a better time centuries ago.
“You seem calmer these days, my student. I’m proud of how much you have grown.”
“Thank you, Celestia, I couldn’t have done it without you or my friends.”
“Do allow yourself some credit, ________.”
“It’s true though, oh! Cadence actually taught me a breathing technique, it’s been very useful lately.”
“Oh?”
“When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, and let it all out slowly, push your hoof out like you’re pushing all your troubles away.”
“I might have to use that myself.”
“You? You’re the calmest pony I know!”
“I appreciate the thought, but I am not so calm as I appear. I have my moments, same as every pony else.”
“Well, I hope that it helps. Feels weird teaching you something for once.”
“You’d be surprised at how much you have taught me, then”
“It can’t be that much.”
Take a deep breath, and slowly let it out. Push your troubles away.
Natural looked out at the sea of ponies. Or so she had felt they were. Now with a clearer mind it was obvious it was only a few dozen ponies out on the plaza. She felt silly that she had been so panicked.
With a smile on her face, she walked up to a pony selling hoofmade bracelets. The knowledge of what she had done stood heavy on her mind, but she pushed it away. She had somepony to talk to.
“Hello, my name is Natural Light, what’s yours?”
Author's Note
My first (published) alt universe! More will be posted in this, so don't worry if not everything makes sense right away.
