My Mountain

by LunaUsesCaps

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 16376

Rainbow Dash proposes that Derpy join the Ponyville Circuit Races. But that poses its own problems.

With the Ponyville Circuit coming up soon, Rainbow Dash thinks it would be a great idea if Derpy decided to compete in the race. However, something like that poses its own set of problems.

Published 2012-10-24 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-24 00:10:01 UTC

My Mountain

“Nothing but bills again?" Blossomforth whined, her hope fading as she shuffled through envelope after envelope. "Ah, whatever. See you at work tomorrow, Derpy."

"Have a good one, Blossom," I said casually, only to find myself quickly face to face with a large wooden door frame.

I could feel my nostrils flaring out involuntarily. It wasn't the first time I'd been shoved off like an annoying house fly. Actually, it wasn't the first time today that I'd been shoved off like an annoying house fly. I honestly couldn’t remember when old Mr. Jenkins got such an attitude; I felt bad for all the other residents of Ponyville's care facility who have to deal with him today.

It wasn’t that I didn't like being the mail mare, but...

Okay, I did. I completely hated my job.

Work was a necessity though. Dinky and Sparkler sure weren't going to feed themselves and with all of the new taxes that had been put in place, I didn't see government handouts being all that helpful either. Luna put a tax on the moon. The moon. How in Equestria do you tax a moon?

At least my second job was a bit of a respite from mail delivery. If anything, I did enjoy the company of my friends when I was chasing clouds or something of the sort. Sometimes we even slacked off and played leap of faith - a game where you had to jump from cloud to cloud without using your wings. Rainbow Dash was a nice boss so she didn't usually mind, but if the game were to get too intense or prolonged, she'd usually put an end to it.

Even better still, the entire week had a clear schedule. The whole weather team was going to work for the sole purpose of doing absolutely nothing. It was going to be the single best week I’d ever lived in my life.

After a brief moment of thought, I realized that I was still standing awkwardly at Blossom's doorstep. I turned, ruffling my wings as I prepared to set off towards the library. There was apparently a very important book delivery today, at least guessing by the rush stickers on the package. I'd heard rumors about Twilight Sparkle being excessively neurotic, so I had no intentions of making her stress out any more than usual.

I took in a deep breath, flapping once to test out my lift. It was satisfying enough, so I gave it my best running start and took off into the skies at top speed. As I raised to about the level of the treetops, I let out a blissful sigh as the crisp autumn air brushed against my coat in a cool, soothing tunnel of wind.

My ecstasy was short lived however, because the moment I began to look towards the ground for any signs of a lavender unicorn or baby dragon, I started to feel a slight tickle in my left eye. It wasn't something anyone would normally be worried about, but I’d been dealing with the same problem for my entire life, and I knew the tell tale signs of a disaster about to happen.

Right on cue, my eye went up at a random angle, obscuring my vision. I tried to slow down and maintain my flight, but before I could do anything, my back leg hit a stray tree branch; a stray tree branch I could have seen and avoided otherwise.

Hitting something no larger than a stick wouldn't usually do any real damage or off a pony's balance; however, when you're going so fast that you can barely breathe while on a half-delivery, half-joyride, the little things can be of great significance.

I tumbled in mid-air, flailing my limbs as I spun wildly before crash landing on the ground with a loud thump. Checking myself over, I spat out the mouthful of grass I had acquired from the not-so-perfect end to my mail run. Once I made sure I didn't have anything more than a few scrapes and bruises, I picked myself up and dusted off my coat.

"Are you okay?" asked a feminine voice from behind me, causing me to turn around in confusion. Sometimes I liked to think that maybe Princess Celestia sometimes got bored, or that the universe itself just loves to be ironic, because I couldn’t find one explanation in the entire world for why Twilight Sparkle stood in front of me.

"Yeah I'm fine. By the way," I began, digging into my saddlebag to pull out a brown, book-shaped package. "There's a delivery for you."

-~{>L<}~-

The old couch squeaked in displeasure as it was disturbed by my exhausted body flopping unceremoniously on top of it. I wanted to buy a new one, but it was another expense, and I didn’t really care. Carl did his job fine.

Yes. I named my couch. There's nothing wrong with that.

But there was something wrong with coming home every single day feeling like a sea pony who just got done tugging a cargo ship. It wasn't the first time I'd gone and hurt myself like that, and I would bet my right hoof it wouldn’t be the last. See, I had a... reputation around Ponyville. For some reason, ponies seemed to think I was clumsy. Crazy, right?

I mean, it wasn’t like it was my fault. If it weren't for my stupid eye, I would’ve been just as good a flier as Dash, Cloud Kicker, or any other pegasus. It really wasn't fair, but I couldn't complain; Celestia had blessed me with so many things. A stable job, a roof over my head, and two wonderful fillies.

Though I still couldn't help being a bit depressed at times. I didn't see anyone else who had to deal with this problem. I had actually gone to a doctor before, and he said I had lazy eye syndrome. I wasn’t really sure on the specifics, but I think it meant that my eye was lazy.

Just as I was about to get some well-deserved rest, the door burst open heartedly to reveal the exuberant face of probably the single most annoying pony on the list of those I loved.

"Honey, I'm home!" shouted Sparkler sarcastically, trying her best to do an adequate impression of a stallion. It wasn't working, but I still gave her an "A" for effort.

Speaking of ’A’s...

"Oh you," I teased, testing the waters before bringing up what I knew she wouldn't want to talk about. "So, do you have your report card for me today?"

"Come on, can't I at least get in the door first?"

Called it.

Sparkler groaned, biting down on her saddlebag to tear it violently off her shoulders. She stretched and relaxed, having dealt with the extra weight. Once satisfied with the state of her muscles, she took a moment to look me over, and her face twisted up in confusion.

"Wow, Mom, are you okay?" she asked upon seeing my condition, more than a little concern dripping into her voice. "You look like you got in a fight with a three-headed manticore rhino."

"A what now?"

"That's not important," she said, trying her best to keep me on topic. "What in the hay happened to you?"

I sighed. She probably could already guess, so there was no point in holding back on the answer. It just felt weird, having to explain where you got your bruises from to your daughter, as if the roles were reversed and she had authority over me. I hated it when she had to worry. I loved her dearly, but I was a big girl; I could take care of myself.

However, that didn't stop me from stammering on my response.

"I-uh, well... I-"

My very choppy monologue was interrupted as a second ball of pink fur rushed through the front door, this one jumping immediately onto my lap and making herself comfortable. It sort of hurt a bit at first, but she was just so darn snugly; I didn't have the heart to ask her to get off.

"Mommy!" Dinky greeted enthusiastically, gripping my neck with a surprisingly forceful hug. "Look how good I did!"

With a considerable amount of effort, Dinky levitated over a small envelope and dropped it on my nose. I grasped it in my hooves, then carefully tore it open using a tooth. Before I could look, she pulled out the card inside and shoved it in my face.

All D's.

My child was never a genius.

"That's great, muffin," I said, rubbing her head as I passed the card to a now-curious Sparkler, who had made her way over to the couch while this had been going on. She did a once over on the paper and raised her eyebrow at me, to which I responded curtly with an indifferent shrug. I guess I'd have to talk to Ms. Cheerilee soon enough about getting Dinky a tutor.

"How about you go look in the kitchen? I think someone left some cookies there for such a smart filly..." I said, watching her eyes light up as she kicked off me, running towards the counter. I wanted to conceal it, but I couldn't help wincing at her sudden movement. "Unhh..."

"Don't worry, Mom." Sparkler said as she shushed me softly and ran a hoof through my mane. Curse it all, she was never going to let me live this down until the day I died. "Sparkler is here for you."

"I hate you," I said, not truly knowing exactly how much of it was a joke. "I had another rough landing; I'm fine. Now get your arm out of my hair and show me your grades before I put you in a worse shape than I'm in."

"Harsh," she said, whistling as she proudly handed over her report. "I'm waiting for my appropriate praise and rewarding."

I took a look at the card. It was good - very good. But I wasn’t not one to miss an opportunity to mentally torture my teenager; it's healthy for them every now and then. I couldn’t be letting her get too arrogant now, could I? What kind of horrible mother would I be?

"You got a B," I stated matter-of-factly. She looked at me with an unimpressed expression and rolled her eyes, trying to figure out if I was serious or not.

"And straight A's..." she added with haste.

"But a B nonetheless," I repeated, tossing the paper onto the floor in mock-disappointment. "I had such high hopes for you... now I know you'll just end up giving it away to stray colts for your bits..."

"Mom!" she screamed, turning bright red as horror spread over her features. A part of me thought I was taking this too far, but I was having way too much fun.

"Oh come here, you," I said, bringing Sparkler into a somewhat awkward hug. "You did wonderful, and I'm very proud of you. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know," she said, her expression turning oddly critical. "What are you going to do about... well, you know? You can't go on smashing into things every other day and coming home looking like this."

Sparkler pointed at my left eye, and I let out a defeated whine. She was right, I couldn't go on like this. But sadly, as much as I cared for her, I couldn't tell her what I planned to do about it. It wasn't because it would worry her, or because it had nothing to do with her. There was a very simple reason that I couldn't tell her.

I didn't know.

-~{>L<}~-

Ker-phlunk. That's a funny sound. It's the sound something makes when you drop it in the water.

It was also the sound my tennis ball makes when I bounced it off the floor, onto the wall, and back. I guess nobody ever really appreciates how interesting work actually is until they're sitting in a boring office not doing any. Not to mention, with all the new budget cuts in place, we couldn’t even afford heating. So I was throwing a ball back and forth. In a boring office. A boring office that had long since passed absolute zero.

I had the odd feeling that conditions were only this terrible because I had expected today to be, oh I don't know, fun. Maybe if the weather wasn't a government-run operation, we could actually stop living in such cruel conditions every single day. In the summer, we were volcanic spores. In the winter, we learned what it was like to be a polar bear that had just gotten a haircut.

But that wasn't why I was angry. The boss had decided it would be a great day to send us to work, make us sit around and punch in time cards, then not even show up. I swear, sometimes Rainbow Dash could be a real mule.

"No offense, Loraine," I said nonchalantly.

"Uh, what?" the mule asked, raising an eyebrow at me quizzically.

"Oh, er, nothing. My bad," I replied, giving her a sheepish grin. I forgot sometimes that other ponies couldn’t hear what's going on inside my inner monologue. I guess that sucks for them, because what I thought could be pretty darn interesting sometimes. Wait a second, how the hay did Loraine get a job working as a weather pegasus? Come to think of it... how did she even get up here?

Gossip-worthy mysteries aside, I had only been at work for just over an hour, yet it was already starting to feel like it had been an entire day. With Cloud Kicker playing paddle ball, Blossom giving herself a hooficure, and Thunderlane mouth-drawing some sort of odd fork-looking thing, I began to doubt that I was the only one that had nothing to do.

I’d always been a careful filly though, I had to be. So, just in case I was wrong, I opted to give misery what it loves.

"Hey, Cloud Kicker," I said loudly, making sure I was heard. "Did you get those TPS reports in on time last week?"

"Yeah, why?" she asked, studying me incredulously.

"Oh, no reason," I replied. Crisis averted.

She continued staring at me for a few moments, but eventually seemed satisfied with my lack of an answer. "So," Cloud Kicker began, looking awkwardly around the room. "I heard the Circuit's coming up this weekend. You going?"

I let out an exaggerated groan, slumping my shoulders to better express my distaste. Damn. Why did she have to remind me of that stupid contest? If I wanted to spend my spare time watching a bunch of sweaty pegasi fly around frantically for no visible reason, I'd just come to work on my days off.

"No," I said, coming off way more bitter than I actually was. "I don't think I am."

Cloud Kicker was slightly taken aback by the venom laced in my words, which as I said, was completely unintended. She did her best to hide it though, and simply shrugged it off. It was just like her - sometimes I wondered if she even experienced any real emotions at all. Hard outer shell, boyish bravado... admittedly, it's a little attractive, but I did worry about her sometimes.

"Sorry if I came across... you know," I said, offering her a shrug. "Just tired today."

"Tell me about it," she said, seemingly unfazed about everything. "Dash has me working every day for the next month. So, why aren't you going to the races this year?"

"Just doesn't appeal to me," I said. "I guess I have no reason this year."

It was then that Blossomforth decided to speak up; Celestia forbid her opinions go unheard even once. "So, you have better things to do? Wouldn't your kids want to go?"

Why? Why did she have to bring my girls into this? I'm sure, of anyone, they could not possibly care about anything less than they do the Ponyville Circuit. I didn’t think Dinky even knew what it was, and Sparkler probably wanted to spend all weekend with her coltfriend.. I should’ve probably hired someone to spy on them. I wasn’t going to care for any more kids.

Nah, Sparkler had a good head on her shoulders, but that was all beside the point. "I hardly think that my fillies want to go. They're busy studying anyways." Hah. I wish.

Blossom rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, they need to get out of the house sometimes!" she said, growing annoyed with me for some reason I didn’t understand. "And you! You're going to drive yourself into the ground if you keep working yourself to death with no release!"

Other than Cloud Kicker giggling madly at Blossom's use of the word release, the absolute silence that had taken over the room made her realize just how loud she had been. Blushing madly, she slowly crawled under her desk, doing her best impression of Fluttershy like she always did when she had one of her daily panic attacks.

Luckily for her though, Rainbow Dash decided that it was the perfect time to make a grand entrance through the sunroof and take the attention off of a mortified Blossom. She flew in slowly with her chest puffed out, trying her best to look like a descendant of the heavens. If you asked me, with the sunlight bouncing off of her coat, she wasn't doing too bad of a job. After doing a couple laps around the room to make sure everyone was there unnecessarily, she landed in the middle of the undersized hallway. Now I know where Sparkler gets it from...

"Well then," she began, ruffling her wings as she absorbed all of the hateful glares targeted at her. "I guess it's fair to say that I'm a little late."

I had to try not to laugh. It was a bit sad - this was the farthest anyone had ever seen Rainbow go in the direction of admitting she was wrong about something. I felt bad for her though, she was busier than a lot of us and still managed to run this place smoothly. Bless that filly's heart, even if it was three sizes too small.

Ignoring the onslaught of poisonous stares, Rainbow Dash continued, choosing to speak no more of her understated tardiness. "Listen up, pegasuses," she said, blatantly unaware of how to pluralize the word pegasus. "I'm giving you the week off of field duty because it shouldn't be that hard for you pansies to not push any clouds."

Everyone mumbled in agreement; however, Dash wasn't done. "That being said, you all know what's coming up this weekend, and I don't want to see one cloud in the entire sky, got it?" she said, shooting intimidating glances at any standing pegasus in her general area. "Now, I know it isn't the most favorable of positions, but that means one of you needs to be on scouting duty at all times. I can't have any runaways messing up the Circuit. Each and every one of you knows how strict their field policy is. If it gets even the least bit wet, every spectator will have to wait through hours of delays."

At the mention of the single most terrible responsibility in all of Equestria, the entire office let out an annoyed sigh. Sitting in the office doing nothing was one thing, but solo scout duty? That was torture. All you did was float in the sky for eight hours with no one to talk to, no time for breaks. There wasn’t even a general sense of importance in what you were doing. You’d just stare at the vast expanse of nothing. All day. And, if you happened to see a cloud, you pushed it away. That's it. I think I just succeeded in explaining the punishment for murderers in the afterlife. At least, that's what I'd do. Ponies would be so scared that no one would commit a crime again. Ever.

"- And there will be no delays happening on my watch," Rainbow Dash said as she looked around, almost sickeningly satisfied with her employees' displeasure.

Right about then, every single pegasus in the Ponyville weather business - plus Loraine - was forming an angry mob around the boss. Every pegasus except yours truly. You see, I was still sprawled out in my rolly office chair, absent-mindedly ker-phlunking my ball inside of my cubicle. As the silence that followed Dash's speech began to take root, my soft ker-phlunks were the only sound penetrating the entire building. To no one's surprise, that caused the entire staff to stop and stare at me.

Rainbow Dash in particular was eying me curiously, making her way over to my desk. "Derpy," she started, whistling like a dog trainer as she gestured at me with a hoof. "Walk with me."

When the words rolled off her tongue, I didn't know whether to be offended or terrified. For one, she had just treated me like some sort of trained animal. On the other hand, there was the very real threat of scouting duty. As proud a mare as I was, there was nobody in the entire world I wouldn't suck up to in order to get out of that.

As we rounded the corner into the hallway, away from the other workers on the main floor, I decided to make the first move, even though it wasn't really my fault. If anyone else had a week like mine, they'd be pretty irritable and grouchy too.

"Look boss, I'm sorry if I disrespected you," I began, growing more confident with my speech. "I really didn't mean to seem ru-"

"Oh the hay with that, Derpy," she said, cutting me off. "We've known eachother since we were like five, I'm not going to start eating you out over sitting during one of my speeches."

I couldn't help but blush at her word choice, and upon noticing that, Rainbow face-hoofed.

"Not like that..." she said. "Anyways, the reason I called you out here is that our heater is broken."

I ran a hoof through my mane, cracking off the frozen droplets of sweat that had formed on my head since this morning. "Really? I didn't notice."

Rainbow Dash shot me an unamused deadpan, and I motioned for her to continue. "As I was saying," she started, pausing to see if I had any plans of interrupting. "The heater is broken, and we don't have the money to fix it. You see, the Ponyville Circuit has this thousand bit reward if you win-"

No. She wasn’t going to--

"-and other than me or Cloud Kicker, you're the fastest pegasus this side of Equestria. Not the most accurate, but definitely the fastest."

Absolutely not.

"So I was just wondering if..."

I tried to decipher what Rainbow calls a compliment and translate it into an actual message. She was right, of course, but certain... complications made flying difficult, my raw speed was nothing at all to spit at. "I know what you're trying to ask, Dash," I began, planning to squash this bug before it takes host and becomes unstoppable. "But I'm not interested. If I'm only the third fastest pegasus around here, then why don't you or Cloud Kicker compete?"

"Well, there's a problem with that." Of course there was. "We've already won before, so we aren't allowed to compete again. Come on, Derpy, it'll be fun!"

"No it won't."

Rainbow sighed. "Look..." she said. "I didn't want it to come to this, but I've decided to enter you as a representative of the Ponyville weather squad. So go home, take the day off to rest, and fix whatever attitude this is; I'll be seeing you at the university track for practice at eight. I can't stay and talk right now, I have a meeting to get to. Trust me - you won't regret doing this!"

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. "But you can't-"

As I began my protest, I was interrupted by Rainbow Dash flying at record speeds out of the building, doing anything she possibly could to avoid talking to me. Doing anything she could to avoid hearing me complain about having all of this dumped on me at the last minute. At least it was a little flattering, knowing that there were no other pegasuses for the job. Wait a second, now she had me doing it too. It was supposed to be a good day, and now I was supposed to fly in a contest. A stupid contest. To pay for what the royals don’t want to.

Well, that wasn’t supposed to happen.

-~{>L<}~-

Though earlier had made me skeptical that Rainbow actually knew anything about me or what I wanted she did make one good decision: a day on the couch and a hot cup of cocoa did absolute wonders for my mood. It's weird - when you're upset, you find it difficult to understand how you could be calm, and when you're calm... well, you get it.

But my window of clarity and contentment didn't change the fact that the last place I wanted to be in half an hour was the university track. Don't get me wrong - the Ponyville University had a beautiful campus as well as great sports facilities; which, due to our low population, were usable by ponies who didn't belong to the faculty or student body. I actually went there quite often. Today, on the other hand? No. I didn't even want to give Dash the satisfaction of having me show up, much less try to appeal to her standards of competitive flying. It was an insane bias, but when you focus your whole life on the Wonderbolts, you tend to only be impressed by a Wonderbolt-quality performance. I couldn’t give a Wonderbolt-quality performance. I couldn’t even give a performance that didn’t end in a Derpy-shaped crater.

Even though I was preoccupied with my own thoughts, I couldn't help but stare intently at Sparkler. She was quietly working on her calculus problems, laying down next to the fireplace with a book under her. I think she knew that I was there, but I doubt she'd seen me looking at her. If she had, she would have already-

"Picture lasts longer," Sparkler commented dryly, not bothering to look up from her textbook as she did so.

"Well if that isn't the most overused cliche in the history of the planet," I said, dusting off my legs as I got up from Carl. The room was only lit dimly by the fire and light of the moon because Dinky had already gone to sleep. No one wanted to wake up Dinky from her nightly rest - no one. She could be quite the devil child if prematurely roused from whatever dreams she was having.

I slowly made my way over to the rug Sparkler was laying down on, draping a wing across her back as I took my seat beside her. Initially startled, she looked back at me in confusion. I smiled warmly at her, and eventually she returned to her studies without speaking of it.

"So, what is this stuff?" I asked sincerely. I had done algebra and whatnot when I was her age, but Sparkler was brighter now than I was back then. I had absolutely no idea what the fancy math she was doing was or how it worked.

Sparkler grimaced slightly. "It's calculus, but you already know that," she began, craning her neck in an almost painful manner as she looked back at me. "Didn't you take some of it in high school?"

Another example of why other ponies should’ve been able to hear my thoughts. "No, I never had any plans to go to college after I graduated. All of my close friends were headed into the weather business, and other than Cloud Kicker, it's what every young pegasus was expected to do. So I never took any advanced classes like that."

"Oh," Sparkler said instinctively, allowing my words to sink in. "What do you mean, other than Cloud Kicker? Isn't she a weather pegasus too?"

"Well yes," I began, brushing off some soot that had gotten on Sparkler's hoof while tending to the fire. "But her family never wanted her to be. You see, Cloud Kicker didn't go to regular school like all of us, she was trained at West Hoof, one of the country's most prestigious military academies."

"A military academy?" she asked, now completely unfocused on her homework. I'd have to remind Twilight to give me a copy of Painfully Obvious Parenting Mistakes: Schoolhouse Edition. "Why? I've never imagined Cloud Kicker as much of a fighter, only a... a..."

"A lover," I completed for her, causing Sparkler to blush fiercely. "Yeah, she decided against that whole guard thing, even though the entire Kicker family comes from a long line of officers and war heroes. I guess it just wasn't for her."

"I see..." she said, drawing her own conclusions on everything. "So, uhm... calculus."

"Yeah..." I replied, scratching the back of my neck. For some reason the drift off onto my friend's history had made things more awkward than they should’ve been. I'd eventually have to ask her why she suddenly wanted to stop talking about it, but now wasn't the time.

"Where are all the numbers? Math usually has a lot more numbers," I pointed out, staring at the page along with Sparkler.

"There still are some," she replied quickly, eager to get off the subject of Cloud Kicker. She pointed to a bunch of really tiny numbers next to letters. "They're called exponents. They determine how many times you multiply a variable by itself."

I twisted my head to get a better view, contemplating better how all of these x-potatoes worked. "What's the point of math if you're not trying to find a number? There's no solution to any of these."

"Maybe it doesn't seem like it," Sparkler said, writing down some alien and possibly demonic symbols. "But it's about simplification. Using logic to understand the bottom line of things, that's what math is. It teaches you to think without bias - there's only one way to do something, no opinion, no other method, just a puzzle and the picture it turns into. You just have to understand how it gets there."

I was a little surprised by how she worded it. It was... somewhat philosophical, if you asked me. I knew Sparkler was smart, but talking about math like that at her age when other colts and fillies were out drinking their brain cells away? It was impressive. Very impressive.

I didn't understand a word of it.

"When you're some famous college professor one day, remember the little ponies, will you?"

Sparkler laughed - genuinely this time. It's good that we're bonding; the last few weeks we’d only been bickering senselessly. Most ponies adopted at the older age she was never really adjust to living with their new parents, and I thank Celestia every single day for her being who she is.

"Is this your way of opening up a relevant conversation?" she asked with a wry grin. Upon seeing my dumbfounded look, she rolled her eyes and decided to elaborate. "Cloud Kicker already told me you were meeting her and Rainbow Dash at the university track."

What? I didn't even know Cloud Kicker was coming to the track, how would Sparkler know? Also, when did she talk to Cloud Kicker in the first place? I didn’t make much sense, but first things came first.

"Where did you see Cloud Kicker?"

"She was talking to the Principal after school," she said with a shrug. "Beyond me as to what. When she saw me, she asked if I wanted to watch you practice your flying for the Circuit - but that confused me. Don't you hate the Circuit?"

"It's not my favorite event," I said, immediately winning the world record for biggest understatement ever made. "But the boss wants me to do it so she can fix the office heater, so I guess I'll try for her."

Sparkler stared at me incredulously for a few tense moments. "Your eye," she finally said.

"What about it?"

"Don't be like that, Mom," she said in a concerned tone. "You know what will happen if you go out there."

I opened my mouth to disagree with her, but as I started, my left eye decided that the kitchen counter was a very interesting and important place to look at. I sighed, slumping my body in defeat and resting my chin on her back as I gently stroked her mane.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked, more to myself than Sparkler. "I can't just say no. I'm sure I wouldn't lose my job, but I hate disappointing my friends. If ponies were counting on you, wouldn't you do everything you could to help them?"

"Of course I would," she said, turning away from me to draw more hieroglyphs. "But not at the risk of hurting myself - especially with hundreds of ponies watching."

"Then you'll stay up to make sure Dinky's okay until I get home?" I asked, smiling sheepishly. That was low, really low, even for me. It needed to be done though, and with an affirmative - albeit annoyed - nod from Sparkler, I decided it was best to head out. It was already seven fifty-two, and the track was a good five or six minute flight from my place. I rose to my hooves, matting down Sparkler's mane and fur as I did so. It wasn't her fault that I came and messed it up, so she shouldn't have to suffer cosmetically.

Satisfied with my hack-job of a hairdo, I walked over towards the front door, pushing it open. I recoiled as I came in contact with the crisp night air, the wind-chill hitting me like a giant block of ice.

Inching out of the door, I spread my wings, letting the breeze trickle down every individual feather. I shivered briefly, but the nice kind of shiver, the kind you get when touch itself gives you goosebumps. I closed the door, turned, and jumped up, flapping powerfully as I gained more and more altitude. This time, I was going to stay high up and take it slow, in case of any unwanted eye movements. No branch would get me this time.

Luckily for me, I didn't even have to deal with it to begin with. As I cruised along the cloudless sky, I couldn't help but become mesmerized with every single star painted so beautifully above me. This was as close as anyone would ever get to absolute peace, and I wondered what it must have been like for princess Luna. She had made this, all of this, and being intertwined with something so perfect must’ve made her one amazing pony.

Far to the north, I could see Canterlot from the height I was at. It was a breathtaking city when it was lit up at night, happily sitting at its perch on the broad side of Mount Astron. Astron was a vastly impressive pile of rock itself. When I was in school, I learned it was actually the tallest mountain in the entire world.

Sadly, my scenic flight came to an end almost as soon as it had begun. Taking notice of University of Equestria below me, I spread out my wings to their tips to start my glide downwards. I could have descended quicker, but doing so without crashing takes a lot of effort and energy, two things I shouldn't put in when I know I'm about to go into flight practice.

I closed my wings as I touched down, trotting slower and slower until I finally came to a halt. Waiting for me in the bleachers were Rainbow Dash and Cloud Kicker, who were playing a game of cards while waiting for me to show up.

"Got any threes?" Rainbow asked halfheartedly, obviously bored with the game by now.

"Go fish," Cloud Kicker replied in a bleak monotone, throwing her hand of cards in the air as she spoke. She turned in my direction, and her expression immediately brightened upon seeing me.

"Hey, look!" she shouted, poking Dash violently on her shoulder. "Derps made it!"

Rainbow Dash's ears perked up as she looked at me, and a wide smile took over her features. "I knew you'd come in the end, kid," she said, sending the deck of cards into an explosion of white, red, yellow, and black as she flew towards me. She landed and put her arm around my back. "They always do."

"Who's they?" I asked suspiciously.

"They're no one," she said confidently. "But if they were them, they would have been here, they always are. They're like me, and I know I would be, but that's because I'm the loyalest of all the pegasuses in Equestria. Hay, I'm the loyalest of everypony in the entire world, whatever race you are."

"My head hurts now..." moaned Cloud Kicker as she walked over to us.

I giggled softly. "Yeah, Rainbow, your expert use of Equine language never fails to impress me either."

"Hey!" she said, apparently offended. "I can do languaging better than anypony else! Get'm in here, I'll show all of you how good I language, and then some."

"I'm sure they would be pretty stricken with awe too, wouldn't they?" the lilac pegasus asked, causing both of us to break out in uncontrolled laughter at the boss' expense.

"Quiet, both of you," she demanded, her cheeks turning a bright shade of pink. "We're not here to crack jokes. We're here to win our right to not freeze to death upon walking in our building."

"I have a dream," she continued, pacing back and forth in front of us. I quizzically looked to Cloud Kicker, who simply shrugged in response. "Where weather ponies can go to work without being tortured by the winter temperatures! Where we can be equal to those who are rich, not in the ways of greed, but a way that gives us the ability to do our jobs!"

"Yay," Cloud Kicker said softly.

"I have a dream," she said, putting in more expression with every passing word. "Where a pony can walk into her office without being bombarded with staff complaints! Where all pegasuses can get their TPS reports in without making the excuse that they were busy lighting desk fires and making blankets out of the lounge cushion cases!"

Who was it this time? Always the TPS reports...

"I have a dre-" Rainbow began, but was cut off as I brought my hoof over her lips.

"Thank you for the speech, Dashie," I said sweetly, drawing back my limb. "But I have a daughter waiting for me to get home. Don't we have some flying to do?"

Rainbow Dash brushed her face off and nodded. "Here's how it's going to work," she started, walking over to Cloud Kicker and pointing at her with a hoof. "This one here will be racing you. She won't be going at full speed, but she'll put up as much of a challenge as you'd get in the Circuit itself, judging by the current entrants. You'll have to-"

"Wait," I interrupted. "How did you get that kind of info on the contestants?"

"There's this baby dragon with connections, and he owed me a few favors." Rainbow Dash said monotonously, as if everything about the scenario wasn't completely abnormal. Judging by Cloud Kicker scratching behind her ear and pulling out a piece of lint, I think she was pretty indifferent about the whole ordeal as well.

Am I the only normal pony on the entire planet?

"Anyways," Rainbow said, returning from the extraneous topic. "You'll have to put in a hundred and zero percent if you want to win this race."

Maybe Rainbow Dash just doesn't get it. "I really don't care if I win or lo-"

"Wouldn't that just be a hundred percent?" Cloud Kicker interjected, looking back and forth between both of us. "What?" she asked after being met with two equal deadpans.

"So," I started, taking some of the attention away from the confused pegasus. "Why again are we doing this in the black of night?"

"That's easy," Cloud Kicker boasted. I sometimes forgot how vastly intelligent that pony was. Even the school part of West Hoof wasn’t like school at all. They taught you all about flight -- wind conditions, humidity, wing care, takeoff and landing, the whole shebang -- all topics that were covered by Cloud Kicker in a monologue that I hadn’t been paying attention to.

"-and that's why you never want to fly straight upwards during daylight hours," she finished, shuddering as a memory came to her. "I learned that the hard way a long time ago."

Having had it up to her neck with all of the talking, Rainbow let out one of her patented dog - or tortoise, in her case - whistles and silently gestured for us to follow her onto the racetrack. I couldn’t honestly say that I wasn’t nervous, but I was glad I was up against Cloud Kicker and not the boss herself. Rainbow Dash could be very competitive, and a drawback of that was the fact that she would smoke me out in under ten seconds - she was rarely able to exercise restraint or discipline. It just wasn't her nature. Cloud Kicker, on the other hand, was trained her entire life to do just that.

Cloud Kicker and I knelt down next to each other, lining up with the white markings on the ground. Racing up in the clouds for fun was one thing, but with so many regulations on professional races, you were always kept so close to the ground to the point where you could quite literally eat the dust of anyone in front of you. I’d even seen some ponies wear surgical masks and goggles to races so they didn't have to deal with all that.

I extended my hoof to hers, and we tapped them lightly to each other. It wasn't really necessary for a practice run, but tapping hooves was always a custom when it came to racing. It showed you respected your opponent and would play fairly. It was something a lot of race ponies tended to forget nowadays, with trash talk and whatnot, but Cloud Kicker and I were mindful of the old morals and traditions - even if I hated racing with every fiber of my being.

"Good luck, Derps," she said with a smile. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

"You too," I returned happily, though I wasn’t sure how much my skill had to do with me winning or not. Cloud Kicker had been directly instructed by the boss to go easy on me, and she probably was going to let me go by a lot. Sure, Rainbow Dash said I was fast, but compared to her or Cloud Kicker? I was more along the lines of tank or Pinkie Pie after she’d gone on one of her ice cream binges.

Rainbow Dash raised herself onto her hind legs, then smashed her forehooves down in a loud stomp to signal the beginning of the race. I kicked off from the starting line, flapping my wings violently as I shot past Cloud Kicker through the first turn. Already I could feel my back and lungs begin to burn with effort, but I blocked out the pain.

I soon realized that Cloud Kicker wasn't planning on letting me have such an easy ride. She sped up until she was neck and neck with me, our combined turbulence creating a massive dust cloud behind us. I put more effort into every stroke as I flew, slowly gaining a couple ponies' length in front of the other pegasus.

It was only when we went in for the second lap that we both noticed a fatal error in what we had done by flying so close to each other. Dust from our combined wake created not a moment ago filled our bodies as we went through it, forcing me to stare down at the bottom white lines painted on the dirt track in order to see where I was going.

When the dust cleared, I looked back to see that I was now significantly ahead of the other pony. Cloud Kicker was coughing, but any concern for her health was ignored due to the fact that she was still flying despite her current state. I turned again towards the front of me, focusing solely on passing the checkpoint and maintaining my lead while going into the final lap.

Unfortunately, things didn't always happen the way you wanted them to.

It was such an ever so slight sensation. It was so unimportant, so normal to anyone who wasn't me. That was a fact. Every single other pony would just dismiss it as nothing. But as I said before, when you'd dealt with the same exact problem for your entire life, you knew what the telltale signs of disaster were.

This time, however, it was a tale I really didn't want to tell, more so than any other. The tingle in my left eye began to grow more intense, and soon enough, I felt my whole world blurring as my brain tried to match what my left eye was seeing to the actual image I wanted to see that was portrayed in my right eye.

Losing my sense of balance and control, I tumbled at full speed on top of the ground, smashing defensively hoof-first into a set of bleachers.

"Gah!" I screamed out in agony, clutching my injured hoof to my chest. It was then that I felt a strange pulse, and sense of warmth in my arm. I raised my hoof to examine it, only to be met with a huge gash bleeding out onto my coat.

"Whoa, whoa," Cloud Kicker said as she flew over to me. She examined my hoof gently and sighed, placing it on my chest. "Put that back where it was. It doesn't look like you broke it, or severed an artery, but you still want to put pressure on it."

Rainbow Dash ran at full speed towards the crash site, in her panic, forgetting she had wings. "Celestia..." she said, surveying the scene. She knelt down to me and began stroking my mane in an out of character display of affection. "Derpy, are you okay?"

I coughed up some dust and licked the grass below me to clean out my mouth. "I think so," I said weakly. It was a lie - I was in a lot of pain, but I didn't feel like I was dying anytime soon, so there was no reason to make a big deal about this.

"She shouldn't be flying home in this condition," Cloud Kicker directed to Rainbow Dash, instinctively taking command of a delicate situation. "We need to get her to the school infirmary. I estimate she won't be on her wings for a couple days or so, but she should still be able to race."

"Always glad to know you care," I snapped at her. She didn't look fazed by it at all, but I guess it didn't come as much of a surprise that ponies could get nasty when they were hurt. It wasn't Cloud Kicker being insensitive I was mad at anyways, she was just assessing everything to the best of her ability.

"I'm sorry," I told her. She waved me off with a hoof, but I continued. "I'm angry at myself. This is my fault."

That got a response out of her. "Your fault?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "By Blossom's beard, Derps, how can this possibly be your fault?"

I pointed to my lazy eye, and Cloud Kicker leaned in to take a look at it. "Hmm," she droned, considering my face a bit too personally. "Maybe there's something I could do to help?"

It was safe to say I wasn't very convinced. Cloud Kicker may have been trained in emergency medicine, but doctors themselves had told me that it was an untreatable condition. I doubted that anything she could’ve possibly come up with would’ve done me any good. But that didn't mean I wasn't willing to try it. What was the worst that could happen, anyways? I ended up blind in one eye? To be honest, that would’ve actually been an improvement from what I had now. At least I wouldn't keep crashing into things.

Cloud Kicker turned back to the boss, who was still petting me like a cat who got its tail stepped on. "Rainbow," she said calmly. "I'll worry about Derps. You go make sure that her kids are okay, and watch them for tonight. Understood?"

Rainbow Dash was a proud pony. That in itself was an understatement that rivaled even me not finding racing my favorite activity. But, when it came right down to it, and she knew exactly what she needed to do...

"Understood," Rainbow replied with an affirmative nod. "I'll tell Blossomforth to cover your shifts for the next couple of days. You have more important things to do."

"That would be nice," Cloud Kicker agreed.

"There's cocoa in the cupboard," I offered to the boss as she flew off, not really paying attention to what I was saying. I was currently in a half-conscious mindset; the exhaustion from getting up early, staying up late, racing, and eventually crashing had finally hit me full force.

"Come on now, big filly," Cloud Kicker chided, dragging me upwards to where I was leaning on her for support. "I'm not going to do this all for you. You still have three good legs to walk on."

I breathed deeply, putting my weight on my remaining good hooves. "Cloud Kicker," I began, looking away from her awkwardly.

"Yeah?" she asked, stopping to look at me with sincere interest. It wasn't her problem to deal with me like this - I'd always been a klutz. Before, I said how I found Cloud Kicker attractive in a way. This, however, shed a new light on who she was to me, and in every romance novel I'd ever read, this was my knight in shining armor, saving the damsel in distress. This was where I was supposed to kiss her.

But I didn't. I didn't want to. The moment was fine as is, because vulnerability and being there for someone didn't need to mean romance. Right now, it served to prove the unbreakable bonds we shared as friends. That was something much different than romance. It was something better.

"Thank you."

-~{>L<}~-

"Wake up, sleepy head."

"Unnh..." I groaned, half of it because of waking up, the other half due to the fact that I was being poked mercilessly by some broad object. Some broad object that had every intention of torturing me, because it kept making these strange, annoying sounds for no particular reason.

"You got bruised up, not brain surgery. Stop being asleep," the source of the annoying sounds commanded.

Rationalizing that following its directions would make it shut up sooner, I blinked open once, and was hit with a painful ray of sunlight. I immediately responded with a hoof over my face, and slowly adjusted myself to the morning brightness. Lowering my arm, I realized that the origin of annoyance was Cloud Kicker, who was now wearing a sport coat and matching fedora.

"You look ridiculous," I said plainly. I yawned, sitting up on my hospital bed. "But I like it."

Wait.

Hospital bed?

"I thought since the races were coming, I would try showing off the proper attire," Cloud Kicker said, playing with her hat. "If you wanted, I have extra clothes in my-"

"Hold on," I interrupted. "Why am I in a hospital?"

"Oh," she started, looking me over like a detective. Her costume added to that image, sort of. "The drugs they sedated you with probably caused some short term blackouts. You were in a pretty bad flying accident, and this isn't a hospital. It's just a school nurses' station."

The memories didn't rush back to me, but they were coming bit by bit. I raised my right hoof, and sure enough, it was properly dressed in bandages and tape. It may be petty, but the first thought that came to my mind was how long it would take for my hair to grow back. Sighing, I pushed down the guard rail and slipped out of my blankets, clambering off of the bed. Biting my lower lip, I put more and more pressure on my legs - an ability that no one should ever take for granted. Never in my life had I ever felt so absolutely drained and exhausted. It almost made me nauseous.

"Hey," Cloud Kicker started, coming to my side and offering herself to lean on. "Don't strain yourself now. You have flying to do."

"Don't remind me," I said jokingly.

I guess after a hit like the previous night, I should’ve been grateful that I could even fly again. I was sure that if not for the brompton cocktail of painkillers, my hoof would be more sore than an easy mare with a hemorrhoid. The ability to force Sparkler to run to the drug store for me was what made being a parent all worth it in the end. I doubted she'd mind, because if she didn’t go, I'd be in too bad a shape to complete any of my other responsibilities.

Sparkler. I had a hunch that it wouldn’t be long before I was on the receiving end of one of her worrisome rants. She was just like me, she cared too much -- even if she usually didn’t want to show it. When she’d see me hurt like this... I didn’t want to think about it. The worst thing was that it was all because of this stupid, Celestia-forsaken eye. I wished I could just rip it out and be done with it.

Speaking of my eye...

"So," I began in a sweet voice, smiling almost seductively up at Cloud Kicker. "You had a solution to my problem?"

To my misfortune, instead of stepping back and blushing like I had expected, the blond-maned pegasus decided that she should chuckle at me and ruffle my mane. "Of course I do," she said in between laughs. "Do I look a liar to you?"

There was this one time at Flight Camp...

"Here," she said, digging in her coat pocket and pulling out a small box. "Open it."

I eyed the package incredulously for a moment before carefully removing the top with my mouth. Once done, I lifted out Cloud Kicker's black, flimsy, elastic gift; a gift which made absolutely no sense. Confused, I put the object on the infirmary nightstand, furrowing my brows as I studied it more closely.

"You got me... an eye patch?" I asked. Not only was it an eye patch, it looked like it had been painted over.

"Well? Try it on!"

I let out an exaggerated sigh. I don't think Cloud Kicker quite understood my predicament. When my eye wanted to give me trouble, it didn't just make me nearly blind, it made me dizzy as well. That was something you probably couldn’t treat with an eye patch. Oh well, if only to humor her...

"What the-!?" I exclaimed in frustration, struggling to get the blasted thing on. "It's way too small... wait."

I scratched at the front of the eye patch, revealing a skull and crossbones as I removed Cloud Kicker's black paint. "Did you..." I began in disbelief. "Did you steal this from Pipsqueak...?"

"Steal is such a strong word," Cloud Kicker replied indifferently, shrugging her shoulders. "A more fitting one would be, oh I don't know, found."

She'd done it. She'd actually done it. I didn't think it was possible for someone like her to stoop even lower than she already had, but stealing from children? That was just... it didn't even fit. To top it all off, the stupid eye patch didn't even fit. But instead of arguing with her over the ethical controversy of finding Pip's eye patch, I decided to start with the most important issue at hand.

"I think it needs to be a little bigger," I said, defeated. "I think I'd cut off the circulation if I tried to put this on again."

"Fair enough," Cloud Kicker mused, taking the particularly tiny pirate accessory from me and putting it back into her jacket. "I know this unicorn in town who can make you a brand new one. Since this was my idea anyways, I'll pay for it."

I wouldn't tell her, but I really didn't want to go through the trouble of getting another eye patch. It's not like it would help me at all, and this was getting too out of hand for me. When she was just giving it to me, that was one thing. But now, I'm supposed to truck all over town to see some eye patch specialist. To be honest, I think I could use a couple more pills.

Without another word, Cloud Kicker motioned for me to follow her. I didn't have anything with me in the room, so I made my way out to the hallway with her. It was harder than I first suspected, but thankfully, she was there to make sure I didn't fall over on my bad leg. As we went along, the walking became easier and easier, so I distanced myself to a comfortable spot a couple feet away from her. Eventually we came to a receptionist's desk, only to be met with a very unexpected face.

"Nurse Redheart?" I asked suspiciously. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the hospital?"

"No," she said, not bothering to look at me as she placed some patient charts on the counter. "Times are tough. I moonlight here on most nights, and when I have days off I'm here too."

"Ah," I responded for lack of any words, processing what she had just told me. "I'd of thought they paid you better over there."

She laughed bitterly. "With all the new taxes in place? Not only does that mean I have to pay more, but so does the hospital. So that means salary cuts."

"I have an idea," Cloud Kicker said, drawing both of our attentions. Until now, she had been standing there without making a sound, awkwardly shuffling her hooves. Unlike the rest of us, Cloud Kicker was very well off. Not only did she come from a wealthy family, but her high-ranking executive position on the weather team also raked in at least six figures. "Why don't you work first aid at the Circuit? I'm sure they're looking for someone qualified."

"Me?" Redheart asked. "The racing committee is run by the Wonderbolts. I'm sure ponies like that can afford to hire actual doctors to work first aid."

"Look," Cloud Kicker continued, putting her arm around the white earth pony. "You're a pretty girl, and I've got connections. If you want that job, you come straight to me. Got it?"

Blushing, Redheart lowered her head in embarrassment. "Uhm, t-thank you, miss..."

"Cloud Kicker." She finished.

"Cloud Kicker," the nurse repeated, smiling as she regained her composure. "I like the name. We'll keep in touch, I hope?"

"Oh, there will be a lot of touch involved."

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed Cloud Kicker by her ear and dragged her flank out of the school and onto the sidewalk. She protested at first, but eventually settled with angrily crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out in an almost comedic fashion. I swear, if you had tried, you could’ve still heard Nurse Redheart's escalating heartbeat back inside the building, even over her nervous giggling.

"You can be so immature sometimes," I said, letting go of her ear. "Leave that poor nurse alone. She's done nothing to deserve this."

Cloud Kicker got up, brushing her coat off and winking slyly at me. "You act like it's a bad thing."

Choosing to let Cloud Kicker be Cloud Kicker and keep my cool, I gestured for her to lead the way towards this eye patch unicorn. I didn’t think I could truly be mad at the time - I just didn't have it in me. There were other, more important things on my mind that refused to silence themselves despite trying my hardest to repress my thoughts. As we walked on, I naturally shied away from the other pony, allowing myself to cringe slightly. I don't know why I did, but I guess it's just a reaction to believe that other ponies can feel what you're thinking, and trying to hide it.

Sadly, the precautions taken to prevent mind reading are the types of nonverbal signals that tell someone you're troubled with something. Since Cloud Kicker was a military mare, as well as a born leader, she was extremely perceptive. Expecting her of all ponies not to take body language seriously would be foolish, if not outright idiotic.

Unsurprisingly, she did in fact notice me being so uncomfortable.

"Hey, Derps," she said in a soft tone, stepping closer to me. "Is everything alright?"

Great. What was I supposed to do? Lie? Play off everything I had just been doing as nothing? She was smarter than that, and it would be an insult to both her and out friendship if I did. Still, I didn't feel like I should be imposing on anyone. My problems were my own, and whenever I expressed any weakness to my children in the past, it always turned out bad for me. I guess that's a bias on my part. Being a single parent means learning to deal with your emotions alone, lest you want to inflict pain or anxiety upon those you care for.

But that being said, Cloud Kicker wasn't my child. Maybe - just maybe - I was over thinking things this time. Wow, did everypony do this? Had I really become that cynical that I was considering whether or not to show any form of real emotion to anyone? I was starting to wonder if a heater wasn’t what Rainbow should’ve been opting to use her money for, but company-insured psychiatric counseling instead. I couldn’t be the only messed up one here.

"No," I began. Knowing Cloud Kicker, she wasn't going to let this go, and I doubted telling her would make things any worse. "Everything isn't alright."

Losing my sense of balance and control, I tumbled at full speed on top of the ground, smashing defensively hoof-first into a set of bleachers.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Gah!" I screamed out in agony, clutching my injured hoof to my chest.

"I think I have to," I said as I looked off to the side listlessly. "Or I'll go completely insane."

"I'm angry at myself. This is my fault."

"Sit down," Cloud Kicker said, patting down a patch of grass for me to lay on. I complied, resting my achy hoof and making myself comfortable. "What's bothering you?"

"I can't do this, Cloud Kicker," I stated in defeat. "I can't fly in that race. I know you're trying to help with the eye patch and all, but..."

"But what if you still mess up?" she completed, nodding for me to continue.

"Yeah," I agreed, drawing circles in the ground with my uninjured leg. "I could fail the entire weather team... worse, I could hurt myself even worse than I have now. What would I tell my daughters if I suddenly couldn't care for myself anymore? What if I got a bad head injury? I mean... I could even..."

"Stop," Cloud Kicker commanded, scowling at me and resting her hoof on my side. "You're not going to die, Derps. You scare me when you talk like that."

"You can't rule out the possibility," I argued. "Look at me... this is risky stuff, Cloud Kicker."

She sighed, pulling me into a comforting hug before taking me by the shoulders to look into my eyes gravely. "I know it is. But I've dealt with ponies like you before. I promise that an eye patch will fix your problem. It's basic nervous behavior - when one part of the body isn't responding or functioning properly, you focus more energy on another part. Haven't you ever heard of someone who's blind being able to hear much better than a person who can see?"

"I suppose I have," I agreed lacking any enthusiasm. "But even still - let's say this does work. What happens then? I'm not like you and Rainbow Dash. I can still lose this. Everyone would hate me."

"That's nonsense," Cloud Kicker said, almost disgusted. "I guarantee you that no one would hate you."

She was right, it was nonsense. Pretty much everything I had been saying was nonsense, and there was absolutely no denying that. But that didn't change the fact that I still didn't want to compete in the circuit. There was so much to lose, and so little to gain. Rainbow had enough money of her own anyways, so I still didn't understand why she couldn't just pay for the heat herself. It wasn’t fair to me at all.

All of those were excuses, however. For me, one thing stood above them all.

"I'm so terrified, Cloud Kicker..." I admitted, hiding my face from the other pegasus.

She kept her silence for a moment, considering me carefully. "I never actually completed my guard training," she finally said solemnly.

I raised my head, looking at her in genuine shock. Cloud Kicker's entire history and personality was based on the military. She was so well rooted in it that her parents had even planned for her to become one of Celestia's personal guards. It just made absolutely no sense at all, whatsoever.

"What?" I asked. "But how? You're you. Cloud Kicker, trained warrior."

"Nope, not completely," she corrected, taking her hooves off of my shoulders and staring off into the north. "At least not in their eyes. There was always one thing I never had the guts to do."

I followed her gaze and found my eyes locked on the city of Canterlot. She breathed in and continued her story. "The last test of any prospective member of the Royal Pegasus Guard is to climb to the peak of Mount Astron..."

I raised my eyebrow and looked back at her. "Why is that so hard? I've flown from the ground up to Canterlot myself many times without even getting the least bit ti-"

"With your wings tied behind your back."

I sat there for a minute, working my mouth up and down as my brain registered her statement. That's just... unbelievable. How is anypony themselves supposed to scale Mount Astron without flying, much less every guard that's ever existed? I looked at her for some sort of confirmation that everything she said wasn't true, but her face remained stoic and neutral.

"I guess..." Cloud Kicker started again, not moving her eyes from the broad side of Astron. "I guess this race is sort of like your mountain. It may present itself as an impossible challenge at first, but once you get over your fears and face it head on, everything you need will just... come to you. You'll find the strength you never knew you had, the courage buried deep down in your soul, a flame ignited within the very core of your bones. But most of all, you'll find a light to guide you where you need to go. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I... I think I do," I said, staring at her intently. "Cloud Kicker... why didn't you even try?"

Cloud Kicker cringed, causing me to regret uttering the words that had just left my mouth. "Because I didn't have it in me," she spat at herself more than me. "Let me tell you something Derps, and don't you ever forget it. It's the most important thing you'll ever learn."

I stayed silent, allowing her to continue. "In my life, I've done a lot of settling because I was afraid of things. I can't form a real relationship that lasts longer than once or twice and sometimes the morning after. Heck, I won't even try for one of those fancy weather overseer jobs in Cloudsdale that I've been looking at because I'm too scared that I might not be up for the cut."

The revelation about her lifestyle was startling, but I didn't want to interrupt. Cloud Kicker turned to look me straight in the eyes with a face so severe it was almost frightening.

"If you remember only one thing I ever tell you, Derpy, remember this. The second you start walking away from things you want in life because you think you aren't good enough... There's no turning back."

-~{>L<}~-

"Oh now that just won't do," Rarity concluded, removing the roll of measuring tape she had floated towards my head.

I don't quite understand how I failed to piece all of this together. It's not like I could think of anyone else who would make clothes in Ponyville, but Rarity just didn't seem like the type to be designing pirate gear for ponies without outrageous compensation. It almost made me feel guilty - Cloud Kicker's wallet was probably going to commit suicide after a long, depressant spiral because of this. That said, I knew it would be a bad idea to try and talk her out of it after seeing her so eager to help. A pony's spirit was something you should seldom break, and only gently when it was absolutely necessary. I'd learned that lesson over and over again every time I dealt permanent psychological damage to my children. It was a wonder they weren't in therapy yet - Rainbow Dash might’ve not been the only one who needed it.

Everything aside, I couldn't help but feel oddly grateful. Though I doubted the effectiveness of an eye patch to do anything but block out half of my vision, the attempt was nice in itself. The doctors themselves had just given up on me and told me it wasn't that big of a deal, and hay were they wrong. At least someone was trying to do something about it. That would always be good enough for me.

Even if the experience was absolutely torturous.

"Tch-" I muttered instinctively as Rarity pricked another needle onto the left side of my face. "Do you do this with everyone?" I asked, irritated.

"Not at all, darling, it's just that... your head is... well..." she said, trying her best to come up with her wording as she continued to assault me with tailoring equipment. "... interestingly shaped."

"But in a good way," Cloud Kicker added hastily. Yep. At least trying. Good enough. It didn't save for the fact that my head was so interesting, though.

"Yes, quite," Rarity agreed absent-mindedly, completely focused on her work. After another tense moment of sitting patiently while my face was thoroughly violated, the designer stopped everything she was doing. "Aha!" she declared, galloping over to her sewing machine.

"I'm guessing that's a good thing?" I asked Cloud Kicker, giving her a hopeful look. She shrugged optimistically in return, staring over at Rarity to watch her work.

"Very good, dear," Rarity answered, smiling as she displayed quite an impressive mastery of her craft. I wasn’t a huge fan of dressmaking and whatnot - but it didn't take an expert to see skill at its prime. "It's just about... err... done!" she shouted with pride.

I claimed the eye patch in my good hoof as it was levitated over to me. It was jet black, with no other markings or tags. I carefully slipped it on, letting my mane fall down against the strings as I secured it in place. I opened my eyes again, slowly taking in the feel of the room around me.

It was exactly the same as before.

"I like it," I said honestly, a smile forming around my lips. "It's comfortable."

"Well? Come on now," Rarity said, nudging me out of my sitting position. "Take a look at yourself."

I reluctantly obliged, walking to one of the mirrors with not-so-much pep in my step. I guess it was a little childish to still feel insecure about my appearance when I lived a life and played a role like mine, but on the inside, everyone has their things. If I'm knocking over tables and crashing into things, I'd like to look nice while doing it. I closed my eyes as I approached the glass panel, cringing in suspense. I slowly creaked my free eye open, looking at myself.

"W... wow..." I said, nearly speechless.

I didn't know such a small thing could change how you perceive yourself on a massive scale. I couldn't even see myself in the mirror anymore, I looked... intense. Not intense like attractive or breathtaking, but intense like an army veteran whose known nothing but the death and torture of others. With all of my "battle" scars and the fact that I had grown my hair out longer, the eye patch made me look bitter, dark, and hateful. I looked like someone who could command the total obedience of others with the slightest flick of my hoof or change in tone. It was electrifying. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was in complete control.

"It's amazing," I finally conceded, continuing to admire myself. "I feel so powerful. Like I can do anything."

Rarity beamed. "I'm so glad you like it, but I still need to be paid," she said, smiling sheepishly.

"I gotcha covered," Cloud Kicker said, tossing two gold coins onto one of Rarity's desks. "Keep the change."

Rarity raised an eyebrow, walking over to her work station to inspect the currency. Upon getting a look at what Cloud Kicker had just given her, she gasped in disbelief. "But, Cloud Kicker, these are hundreds!" she protested. "I couldn't possibly accept this mu-" she said, but was cut off as her door closed loudly in front of her.

I smiled at Rarity. "Thank you, miss. I think it's worth whatever she gave you, if that helps."

"Oh, you're too kind, Derpy Hooves," she said, blushing. "Go on now, you should be on your way. Your friend is probably waiting for you."

"Right," I said. "Waiting for me."

-~{>L<}~-

Cheering. Screaming. Chanting. Calling out the names of ponies which I'd never heard of in a way that made me feel utterly insignificant. It was like worship. Like a song sung by a broken nation rebuilding from the ashes of war, thanking their king for his great sacrifice and leadership. I was stunned by their persistence in encouragement.

The stadium was deafening.

Due to the day's wind chill - which existed despite the efforts of the weather team - I had chosen to wear my contestant number on the neck bandanna that Sparkler had once given me for Hearth's Warming. The white and black box stood out against the grayish blue scarf, but I didn't mind. As long as my neck was warm, I was happy.

However, no cozy bandanna would alter the reality that I was standing in one of the indoor hallways of the Grand Circuit Hall that had only been build in the time span of a few weeks. It was phenomenal how two rich alicorns could fund the construction of such a massive place - especially since it was only temporary, and would be torn down after the races were over. They always moved the circuit to a new city every four years when it took place.

The Grand Hall wasn't the only building in Circuit Park, though. There were various temporary buildings for athlete lodging, dining, souvenir shopping, and even more tracks for the children and earth pony divisions. But nothing, and I mean nothing, would distract anyone from the magnificence of the Grand Hall and the main event which took place in it. With the massive oval of interlacing solid steel beams stretching a total of over half a mile long, a quarter mile wide, and hundreds of feet tall, it was an absolute marvel to look at. Not to mention, it put a huge boom in Ponyville's economy - there hadn't been this much revenue among local business since the Summer Sun Celebration was held here two years ago. That as well as the thousands of construction jobs to build this, work here, and demolish it? Yeah. I can't say it wasn't awesome to host the Circuit, as much as I hated racing.

It was actually Twilight Sparkle's idea to host the races here. She thought that since all of these new taxes got a bunch of ponies laid off, this would do us well. She was as right as she'd ever be, and with both princesses wrapped around her purple hoof, it wasn't hard for her to make it happen. I guess it was kind of ironic how the tax money that once did us harm was turning around to do so much good. Maybe everything wasn't so bad after all.

At least that's what I thought until I remembered that budget cuts were the reason I was there in the first place. Sometimes it’s impossible to decide which side of an argument you're on. Perhaps it would be better to have no opinion at all? Yeah. I liked that idea. I liked it a lot.

None of that was of any relevance, though. I was here, about to compete in an event that happened to be the very epitome of all that I despise -- and I’d most likely make a complete fool of myself doing it, if not get more hurt than I already was. Knowing all of that, there really wasn’t much point in reminding myself of all my insecurities leading up to this.

"Beautiful place, huh?" Cloud Kicker said, walking up beside me. She had dropped the coat, but was still wearing her dark gray fedora. "Must be amazing for the princesses to be able to drop this on the map whenever they please."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"The competition doesn't look too bad. Everyone's getting ready, so do you need anything else?"

I blew air out my nose, staring at the arguing event officials and grounds keepers raking the track in preparation for the race. "What's the point of building a castle of glass when the wind can pick up stones?" I asked.

Cloud Kicker studied me intently for a few moments before following my gaze to the center of the circuit. "You're more than a little nervous, aren't you?"

"You could say that," I responded, lowering my head in thought. "What happens when your eye patch doesn't work?"

"It will. Trust me," Cloud Kicker reassured, sounding certain of herself.

Before I could protest against her, I heard a pair of light hoof beats behind me. I turned around to find Sparkler and Rainbow Dash smiling back at me, and I couldn't help but give in to their infectious mood.

I smiled as I rustled Sparkler's mane, receiving an annoyed groan in return. "She didn't give you too much trouble, I hope?"

"So many push-ups..." she said, shuddering.

"Nah," Rainbow answered, giving Sparkler's mane a ruffle of her own. "The kid's a born athlete I tell you. She'll be just like me one day!"

I gave my daughter an apologetic glance - I could only imagine the horrors she was forced to endure under the adrenaline junky of a pegasus that I had put in charge. As much as I admired Rainbow Dash, one of my children "being just like her one day" was exactly what I was afraid of. Sparkler was already arrogant enough, I didn't need her running around the house knocking over bookcases as she practiced her new stunts too.

"So, Mom," she began, coming to stand on the unoccupied side of me. "You feeling alright about this?"

I was going to respond, but Rainbow Dash cut me off. "Of course she is, sport!" she said, slapping Sparkler on the back. "Derpy's got this race in the bag. Nopony but me or Cloud Kicker has a chance of beating her, and we aren't in the race. It'll be easy. I've already even placed an order on a new heater."

Great. Not only was she giving everyone this false hope in me, but now if I lost, she'd be out all of the money she spent in advance on my victory which probably won't happen.

"Will all contestants please report to your stations?" asked a loud, grizzly voice over the intercom.

"Guess that means me," I said. "Wish me luck everybody."

"Wait," Cloud Kicker said, holding onto me with her arm. I turned back around to see an uncharacteristically grave pegasus. "You can do this, Derps." she said.

"I believe in you too," Sparkler added.

After a moment, we all looked to Rainbow Dash in apprehension. "Ah, what the hell," she said, flying over to pull all of us into a group hug. "Go get'm, Derpy."

I was the first to break off the hug, nodding to all of them as I left the hallway out into the stadium. Upon my arrival, I could hear a chorus of ponies from the area above me chanting my name in that worshiping fashion I spoke of earlier. It was almost as stimulating as the eye patch was.

I made my way to my place on the track, ruffling my wings as I took my stance next to the other racers. I loosened up a bit after noticing that no one else was readying themselves, and looked to an orange pegasus next to me in confusion.

"They won't be starting us for another five minutes. Chill," she said, almost disrespectfully. I had half a mind to set the filly straight right then, but my anger towards someone no older than eighteen was better left on the track. "They have to do announcements," she continued.

I was planning on asking what announcements they were doing, but I was once again interrupted as the intercom came on a second time. You know, my train of thought being derailed was starting to get really frustrating. "In position one, we have Jet Stream, representing the city of Cloudsdale!"

As the white and blue pegasus' name was announced and his picture appeared on the giant television screen under the press box, the Cloudsdale sitting section broke out in a rave of shouting and screaming. I think I even heard some mares pronounce their love to him.

"Coming from our magnificent capitol, we bring you Winston Wingtip!"

The crowd continued to cheer, this time for a considerably portly gray pegasus. He rose from his standing position and did a short flip in the air, garnering even more affection from his loving audience.

"And now, representing the fabulous Manehattennites - a pegasus whose ferocity makes him truly live up to his name - let's all make a huge roar for Spike!"

I stared up at the television screen then back at the pony near me to check and make sure what I was seeing was real. A purple pegasus with a spiky green mane was bowing before the audience, smiling arrogantly.

Well.

That's pretty weird.

"Here, I present to you... Wait... This isn't right..." the announcer said as the sound of flipping papers was being picked up by his microphone. "Well, it seems we have some difficulty locating this contestants information. But give it up for the unnamed character before us!"

Even without knowing who exactly they were cheering for, the crowd did in fact give it up for a mysterious looking lime green pegasus, who seemed pretty indifferent about the whole ordeal.

I turned again to the orange pegasus next to me. If the announcer was going in the order I think he was, then she was next. Her eyes were closed as she breathed in a rhythmic pattern, calming herself down. Apparently, I wasn't the only pony with nerves.

"I would ask that everyone in the audience stand and salute for a pony that acts as a leader in a group whose courage and sacrifice was the only reason that an entire herd of manticore were contained within the Everfree Forest during the recent series of attacks... Coming from her position at West Hoof Military Academy, Lieutenant Commander Blazing Embers!"

I'll have to admit. I did not see that coming.

The entirety of the Grand Hall stood in respect and screamed the war veteran's name. She did nothing in return but open her eyes and continue her controlled breathing. Right about now I was glad in so many ways that I have patience and didn't end up giving a commander a verbal beat down. I mean, whoa. It just blows my mind how a pony so young could be so high ranking. Also, seeing as she was positioned at West Hoof, I couldn't help but wonder if she somehow knew Cloud Kicker.

Those questions were for another time, however. Right now, Commander Embers was a temporary enemy of mine, and I had no intention of displaying myself as any less than a formidable threat to her success here. Even if she had the very high possibility of destroying me in a couple seconds out there.

"Our final contestant, a mail mare from right here in Ponyville... Make some noise for Derpy Hooves!"

I don't think I'll ever find out why. Maybe it was that the majority of people in the stadium were from here. Maybe I looked really nice that day. Maybe my name made them pity me a little, so they wanted to make me feel better. I will never know. But it still happened.

The crowd exploded.

I looked around in awe as my name was chanted over and over, everyone seemingly joining in to give me props. I looked up at the board to see my face - a face that portrays just about the opposite of my real personality. I must have been tired this morning when they took the pictures for this, because I never remember looking that severe. I was staring harshly straight into the camera with my free eye, the black eye patch covering the other one that would have made me appear much less powerful. The scars on my face from my earlier crash were still very present, and the blond mane running down the left side of my face all made for one undeniably scary looking version of Derpy Hooves. It wasn't the real me.

But for now, it was a part I didn't mind playing.

I jumped into the air, opening my wings to blow a strong gust of wind in all directions toward the audience - a trick I picked up from Cloud Kicker from when we were both on scouting duty back in our rookie days. After being returned with a choir of Oohs and Aahs, I gracefully lowered myself to the ground and braced myself dramatically for the beginning race. I was soon followed by the rest of my peers, but there was one pony in particular I had the feeling I needed to try something with.

I turned to the orange pegasus beside me and extended my scarred hoof. At first, she looked at me suspiciously, but soon a small smile befell upon her lips. "The flier's truce," she said in thought, connecting her hoof to mine. "It's been a very long while since someone showed me a sign of respect like that. I thought the old ways were all but forgotten."

"They are," I said, bringing my hoof back to the track.

"Best of luck, Derpy Hooves," she said.

"You too, Lieutenant Commander."

As we finished our pleasantries, a loud gunshot sounded over the stadium with a crack.

I sped off immediately, claiming a small lead in front of the other ponies. I could feel the dust below me forming a large turbulence, and though that wasn't too big a problem, it was something I'd have to deal with on the next lap around. I don't want to end up like I did in my first practice race against Cloud Kicker.

As I came around the first corner, I faced the screen - which was now acting as both a television and a scoreboard - and saw the chaos that was happening behind me. Jet Stream, Commander Embers, and Spike were keeping a considerable tail on me, but Winston Wingtip and the unnamed lime green pegasus were both in a coughing fit. Winston because he was - I'm just going to say it - way too fat to be in a competition like this, and no name because he couldn't handle all the dust being kicked in his direction.

I rounded another corner, bringing me into my second lap. I was still in the lead, but the "small" problem I mentioned earlier was still upon me. A massive dust cloud was coming up fast, and if I didn't take action, I was going to end up like our lime friend over there.

Instead of speeding through the cloud like I did the first time, I stopped mid-flight and pushed a powerful gust of wind into my section of cloud, making a tunnel just big enough for me to fly through. This delay was long enough for the three ponies that still held some merit in this race to pass me, but it was worth it. I raced through my tunnel, the hole closing as my drag caused the dust to follow behind me. This stunt I pulled made a trail of dust follow me like a brown comet's tail, but I didn't care at this point.

I turned around quickly, smiling when I took note that the dust cloud had slowed down all of my remaining opponents. Commander Embers was still closing in on me; however, there was absolutely no sign of Jet Stream or Spike, who must have lost their control in the dust. God speed you magnificent pegasuses.

The dust eventually cleared, leaving two wheezing ponies and two who now had no hope of winning. As we both came into the final lap, I dared a glance at the lieutenant commander, who had a determined look on her face as she sped up to reach me. It was odd how she flew, one of her wings wasn't in-sync with the other. It was... lagging behind, per say.

"You're good," she said. "Real good. Army good. Have you ever considered enlistment?"

"Doesn't this seem like a bad time?" I half screamed over the roaring wind we were pushing. She gave no response, only turning back to watch the front of her. I put more energy into my flapping, straining my every last inflamed muscle in any attempt to secure my victory. I had to win this.

So it was no surprise what came next.

I felt my covered eye begin to tingle, growing stronger by the moment. I cursed inwardly. "Not now, oh Celestia, not now," I said under my breath as I continued to fly. I knew that I never had a chance here. It was stupid of me, and now I'm going to injure myself to the point where I'm a burden on my family. I braced myself as the tingling turned to pain, which became more intense until...

... Nothing?

I could feel my eye rolling out of place in my head. I knew that part. But this time, since all my focus was on my right eye, that usual blur from getting mixed vision signals was absent. There was nothing to stop me from winning. I smiled automatically as a surge of confidence hit me, my wings acting on their own as I shot past the commander, gaining on my prize of the finish line.

That's when I heard her. From behind me, the commander whimpered in pain, something that was out of character for any guard, not to mention an officer of such prestige.

I turned around, watching in slow motion as Blazing Embers tumbled to the ground in a sickeningly familiar fashion. She rolled onto the cement next to the track, scraping some of the fur from her back.

I immediately rushed off of the track to her aid. Without thinking, I pulled her upright and dragged her along. "Come on," I said in a commanding tone. "You're finishing this."

"What in Luna's name are you doing," she coughed out, wincing with every step she took. "You can win this. Leave. You've already done enough to earn my respect."

"No," I said. "This has happened to me. I don't know what exactly you're going through... but I understand it. That wing... You injured it, didn't you?"

"Everyone has their battle scars," she spat at herself. "Mine just happens to be in a bad place, no thank to any manticore. It's why I'm not on the front line anymore and I'm stuck sitting at a desk in the academy with my pity-given Lieutenant Commander rank. It's too painful to fly, and I came here to prove a point. I guess I can't even do that."

"You did prove your point," I argued, continuing to nudge her along. "You see this eye patch? It's here because at moments I can go practically blind, and all of my scars are because of it. We didn't ask for any of this, but we deal with it, and we came here anyways. I've only known you for a good ten minutes, Embers, but I'm not finishing this race if you aren't in front of the finish line waiting for me."

She looked like she was going to rebut that, but, she sighed and continued to struggle her walk back onto the track.

"This is amazing folks," the announcer began. "It looks like Derpy Hooves is helping up an injured Lieutenant Commander Blazing Embers! This is something you just don't see every day!"

The crowd broke out in another chorus of cheers, to which the commander cringed. "Why am I being applauded for failure," she said.

"You're not," I argued. "You're being applauded for your efforts. Even though you knew you were hurt, you still made it over a mountain."

For a moment, Embers turned to look at me, silently understanding the gravity that came with mentioning an act that was most likely a strong point in her memory. She nodded slowly, leaving my side to walk across the finish line independently.

I followed her through, soon to be met by the other four contestants as they crossed at full speed. They all respectfully gave us our space as the commander collapsed on her tortured legs.

"Thank you so much, Derpy Hooves," she said, lying down as she gasped for air. "But you deserved to win that. Is there anything I can do to repay you for your act of selflessness?"

I was about to say no on instinct, but a thought came to me.

"You're an authority figure at West Hoof, right?"

"Of course," she answered. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

I smiled.

-~{>L<}~-

"Ugh, these ropes are itchy," Sparkler complained. "Why do I have to wear them? I don't even have wings!"

"Because we have to wear them," replied Cloud Kicker. "Anything that we have to deal with, you have to deal with. Why did you want to come along anyways?"

Sparkler shrugged. "I had nothing better to do. I also didn't want to have to watch Dinky all weekend when I could just as easily ask Blossomforth to do it."

Cloud Kicker didn't respond to that; instead, she walked over to my side. The closeness to another pony was nice, especially due to the icy pelting of snow on my fur. She joined me in staring up at the monumental wonder before us. A wonder that due to snow clouds, we couldn't even see the top of.

"I know the boss was pretty pissed at first," she started, adjusting her bound wings to a more comfortable position. "But I know Rainbow Dash. You made the right choice, and she respects you for it. I know I do."

"Thank you, Cloud Kicker," I said, not taking my eye off of Mount Astron. "It means a lot."

Just before the moment could become meaningful, it was ruined by an orange pegasus with a bandaged wing. "Alright, gang. Rules are simple. You each get one backpack full of supplies, no food or water - you have to gather that yourself. You have only five days to make it to the peak of Mount Astron, where I'll be waiting for you."

"And Cloud Kicker," she continued. "When you make it to the top, you will be officially initiated into the Royal Guard by the power vested in me by Captain Shining Armor himself,"

I fixed my own backpack, a slender green bag with a muffin stitched to it. I was packed light myself, nothing but some extra rope, a few tools, and an empty thermos. I looked over to see Sparkler running off towards the base of the mountain.

"Last one up has to touch Rainbow Dash's hooves!" she screamed, very aware of how sensitive the boss is about ponies getting too close to them.

"Oh kid, you don't know what's coming," Cloud Kicker threatened, running behind Sparkler with a new-found surge of energy.

Their personalities were so similar it was frightening. They both were cocky, lighthearted fillies at heart. Despite all their annoying faults, in the end, I'd like to think they'd both always be there for someone who needed them like Cloud Kicker was to me. There was just one problem though. They didn't understand something they should I have taken into consideration.

I had no intention of touching anyone's hooves.