Just For Kicks

It had been a week since the events at the Ceremony where Rainbow had agreed to train a weather team for Canterlot and she had arrived in Ponyville three days ago. She had yet to tell anyone of her friends about the events of the night that occurred in the throne room. If there was anything Rainbow hated it was seeing her friends sad. She couldn’t shake the feeling that by accepting the Princesses offer, she was somehow betraying her friends. She was lying in her bed in her luxurious cloud home, unable to sleep and aware that Luna’s moon would be out for a few more hours, she got up and made her way to the kitchen. Along the way she heard a what sounded like distant thunder but thought nothing of it.

“Man how am I gonna tell everypony?” she thought aloud. She cast her thoughts aside as she poured herself a glass of water from a cloud pitcher, the cold liquid making it way down her parched throat, soothed her mind and her body. Well im sure ill figure something out, after all I am Rainbow… her thoughts were cut short by a loud crash and the sound of breaking glass. She quickly put her cup on a nearby cloud counter and cautiously moved towards the source of the noise. Much to her dismay she had no broom or lamp conveniently lying around to use as a weapon, at least none in her kitchen which received all its light from windows and the fridge. The one time I need a broom its not…The sound of something bumping into a wall behind her snapped her out of her thoughts and triggered an immediate reaction.

Without even a second thought Rainbow randomly bucked behind her hitting something hard, sending a wave of pain through her left hoof. Great, just what I need, as much as she would have liked to tend to throbbing hoof her attention was needed elsewhere. Without considering the repercussions she called out into the darkness of her living room. “Hello? Is anypony there?” she could make out a broken window from the little light that the moon gave the room. Where is that switch, she began fumbling around the walls until Ah ha! There you are. Once she had found the switch she wasted no time in flipping the little bugger. At once a nearby lamp powered on and revealed a sight no pony could ever expect to be prepared for.

Lying on the ground in her cyan drapes was a pegasus colt, unconscious and bleeding. Rainbow immediately yelped in surprise and terror at the sight of the injured colt. “What the hell!” As if her words were roars of thunder the colt awoke and clumsily jumped on all fours. “Wha huh ohhh”, and as quickly has he got up he passed out. A now stunned Rainbow simply stood as this colt lye unconscious on her floor with scratches all over him, obviously received from him breaking through her window. She sighed and spoke “I guess everything can get explained later”. She soon began to drag the colt outside and onto the steps leading into her house. By Celestia is he heavy, she thought as she struggled to get the colt nearly twice her size onto her back. “You better hope that nurse Red heart isn’t passed out on the front desk buddy” she said aloud to no one in particular. With a flap of her wings Rainbow began to make her way to Ponyville hospital, with a million questions in mind for a certain unconscious colt.

“Oh my head agh ahh, where am I?”

“You’re in Ponyville hospital” Said a pearl white pony with a nurse cap on. “And you are very lucky”

“Lucky? Like lucky to be alive?”

“No, lucky that Ms.Dash requested that you not be thrown in prison for breaking and entering!”

“What? What the hell is going on here and, wait why the hell am I hoof cuffed to the bed!”

As the mysterious colt began to lose his temper with the judgmental nurse a tall doctor entered the room confused as to what the situation was. “What on earth is going on here? Nurse Red heart, explain… The doctor stopped midsentence once he made eye contact with the colt. “Oh yes now I see, eh nurse would you be so kind as to leave the patient and I alone for a moment, patient confidentiality and what not.” Hesitantly the nurse replied, “of course doctor, I’ll be in the break room” and with a huff the disgruntled mare left the room. As soon as the nurse left the doctor turned to the colt with a wide casual smile on his face, “So I hear you broke into Ms.Dash’s home, why it’s not the smartest thing anypony could do I must say it’s one of the bravest things..” “What? No doc you got me all wrong, I didn’t break into anypony’s home.” “Are you sure?” That’s not what Ms Rainbow told me, she said you crashed through her window and…” he was cut off by a low cough emanating from what he believed to be the door. There stood a not too happy Rainbow Dash, her body soar from having to carry somepony twice her size across town in the middle of the night and then having to remain in the hospital for him to regain consciousness, unable to sleep in the uncomfortable chairs. In short her peaceful night was ruined and the cause was staring at her, with his hoofs cuffed to the bed.

“If you don’t mind doc, I have a few questions I’d like to ask him” She gestured at the mysterious colt with her hoof. “Not at all Rainbow!” As the doctor left the room the bounded colt thought he could see the doctor mouthing “good luck” to him. As the door shut all that remained was an awkward silence. Rainbow finally got a chance to get a good look at the colt in question. His coat was a faded purple and his mane and tail were rough and unkempt, and were a dark blue with gray streaks running through them. He had purple eyes and a palm tree for a cutie mark and around his neck was a blood red bandana.

The colt was the first one to break the silence. “ So, you must be Rainbow Dash?”

“Who wants to know?” Rainbow yelled.

“Easy there, why are you so hostile?”

“What do you mean why? You broke into my house!”

“I did not break in; I just couldn’t find the door so I made one.” The colt was now relaxed and had a smile on his face. Oh Celestia I hope she doesn’t kill me, the colt thought to himself.

“What! It was five feet from the window you came in. What kind of thief are you?”

“For the last time, I am not a thief!” The colt with his grin gone decided to put an end to the argument. “ Look Rainbow…”

“How do you know my name huh?”

“Will you just let me talk, sheesh” Why Celestia and Luna respect this rude mare is beyond me. “Do you want the long version or the short version?”

“Version for what?”

By Celestia is she thick! “Never mind ill just start at the beginning, names Kickback by the way.”

Rainbow simply stood, huffed and sat on a nearby chair as Kickback began to explain his reason for crashing through her window in the middle of the night. Once she made herself comfortable Kickback took a deep breath and began his story.

It was the day after Celestia and Luna had offered Rainbow the opportunity to train the Canterlot weather team that wonderbolt scout Kickback had arrived in town. He had just arrived at the wonderbolt headquarters when a light blue pegasus colt stopped him on the way in.

“ Kick? Is that you?”

Kickback turned around to see Soarin, one of the wonderbolts top fliers standing behind him with his face covered in what seemed to be pie crumbs. “Soarin? Hey Soarin how’s it goin!” The two promptly made their way to each other, but before they could shake hoofs Kick tripped on a rock and face planted the hard Canterlot cement.

“ Ouch.” Kick said with his face in the ground in a melancholy voice as if he hadn’t just completely eaten it.

“Still clumsy as ever I see” Said Soarin in a light chuckle. “So how was Manehattan? Any new talent out there?”

Trying to compose himself Kick managed to get a reply out. “Oh ha ha. As for Manehattan, things didn’t go so well.”

“Why what happened? Spitfire said that there was a colt there with a lot of potential?”

“Oh he has potential alright!” Kick managed to say while rubbing his aching nose.

Soarin, now noticing that Kick’s nose was bleeding a bit had decided to take the conversation into the wonderbolt headquarters. The building was massive as it wasn’t a building so much as an arena. With multiple wings residing in it, it wasn’t uncommon for recruits to get lost in the behemoth. The outside of the building was unique in that it did not match the standard architecture of Canterlot. It was more of a Cloudsdale atmosphere with elaborate arches and statues of past wonderbolt's.

“Alright Kick, go get that thing looked at while I take care of something real quick.”

“Alright, see you around Soarin.” With that the two waved goodbye as Kickback made his way to the medical wing of the building.

“So you fell?” Asked a silver coated nurse.

“No! for the last time I didn’t fall! I just did a gravity check.” Kick replied with a nervous grin.

“Look can you just fix me up please? I have somewhere to be right now.” Rolling her eyes the nurse opened a nearby drawer and pulled out bandages and began to wrap Kick’s nose. It was done so fast that before he knew it, Kick found himself being pushed out of the medical room and the door being shut behind him. Well she didn’t waste any time… Kick’s thoughts were cut short when he noticed the bandages on his nose.

“OH COME ON!” He shouted so loud that everypony waiting in the nearby chairs jumped or gave him a surprised look. Kick, ignoring the stares he was getting from everypony, made his way out of the medical wing and began walking to what he hoped was the mess hall. “Maybe a snack will make me feel better.” As soon as Kick opened the large double doors into the mess hall he was greeted by a few stares and a roar of laughter. It didn’t surprise him though, after all who wouldn’t laugh at a fully grown colt with his nose wrapped in Starwsirl the bearded bandages. One laugh stuck out in particular.

“Soarin show yourself!” Kick shouted.

Soarin was struggling to laugh and swallow an entire pie at the same time when Kick finally found him among the horde of ponies. “Keep eating like that and you’ll have a heart attack Soarin.” Kick said with a smile.

“Ill probably work off the meal from laughing at you so hard. I think I feel a six pack coming on ha ha.” Many of the ponies had returned to their meals while a few were still chuckling at the sight of Kick.

“ So tell me Kick, what the hell happened in Manehattan?”

“You know, I’m still not sure. All I know is that he probably wont be doing any flying for a few weeks.” Kick took a seat next to Soarin and gave a deep sigh. “ Look, id rather not talk about it ok. So is this the something you had to take care of” Kick said gesturing to all the empty pie tins lying around Soarin’s bloated belly.

“What? Today was pie day. Besides, I actually do have some real business to deal with, im just getting some much needed R&R before I head out.”

“What do you mean much needed? I thought wonderbolt’s only perform during the season? Or did they change the rules

again while I was gone?”

“No its nothing as strenuous as performing, they’ve just had me running around Equestria as a scout nonstop.”

“Isn’t that my job? Or did that change while I was gone?”

With a light chuckle Soarin responded “Well I guess there aren’t enough of you guys to go around and apparently the princesses are creating a weather team for Canterlot, so we have been put in charge of finding Ponies that can handle the job. Been searching since about a week after you left.”

“A week after I left? That’s about three months Soarin, not that I doubt your abilities as a wonderbolt but scouting isn’t really your strong suit. How many have you guys rounded up?

Now laughing Soarin tried to get a response out. “Well believe it or not we haven’t really been looking. The princesses were originally going to take the weather team from Ponyville instead of training one but none of them accepted the offer.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe, and I thought you said you were “working” sounds like you’ve been doing the exact opposite for the past three months.”

Soarin’s cheerful grin turned into a guilty smirk. “Yeah well flying all over Equestria pretending to work is actually a lot of work.”

“I can only imagine.” Kick replied in a sarcastic voice. “So what’s this real business you have to deal with?”

“ Well, since none of the ponies on the Ponyville team accepted the offer the princesses decided to try and convince their captain slash trainer to at least come for a while and train a weather team for Canterlot. She accepted but under one condition.”

“And what would that be? Wait why wouldn’t they just get one of the wonderbolt’s to train them?”

“She would accept only if she was offered the opportunity to try out for the wonderbolts. Also we aren’t really a weather team; I don’t think Spitfire can even tell the difference between clouds. I don’t think I can either!”

“Ah I see, so im guessing you’re going to Ponyville to scout this mare?”

“Yup and nope, her name is Rainbow Dash if I remember correctly and it won’t be a scouting mission. The princesses gave specific orders that she be accepted into the wonderbolts without any questions asked. I would just be there to give the illusion that she is being scouted when in reality she is already a member.”

“Wow, way to undermine my principals and my job. What’s next are we gonna start allowing earth ponies into the team?”

“Actually we do, who do you think makes all our food? I wouldn’t trust a unicorn with fire even if my life depended on it. “

Now face hoofing Kick gave a deep sigh as he turned to the mess hall’s kitchen only to see an entire staff of earth ponies cooking up blue ribbon worthy meals. “I need a vacation” he said with heavy groan.

“I think I can help you with that” Said Soarin in between inhaling pies.

“What do you mean?” A now curious Kickback asked.

“Well im going to Ponyville to basically pretend to do your job and if you stick around here im guessing Spitfire’s gonna chew you out about whatever happened in Manehattan.”

A now interested Kickback fixed his posture in the chair. “Go on.”

“Well how about you got to Ponyville in my place while I stay here and do Celestia knows what.”

“How is that a vacation?” Any signs of Kick’s interest had faded.

“All you would have to do is do your job without actually doing it and relax while you’re there. Seeing as how I don’t know a thing about scouting you’ll be there for awhile.”

“I don’t know Soarin, sounds risky.”

“There is no risk, its as simple as eating pie.”

“How would you know; you don’t eat you inhale!”

Now laughing Soarin replied, “True, so what do you say?”

“It’s not like you to pass up a vacation.”

“Sue me, besides i really do need to catch up on this weather team nonsense and get to scouting."

It took Kick a good ten minutes before he responded. “Alright ill do it, who knows maybe I might have some fun in Ponyville. I hear they have the best apples in Equestria.”

“There you go, just one thing though.”

“What?”

“Make sure she doesn’t find out that she is already accepted, I’ve met her before and if she found out she got in without a tryout, it would hurt her, probably make her think that she doesn’t deserve the position. Which she DOES by the way, we actually had you scheduled to scout her before this whole weather team nonsense. Don’t know why though, we already knew we wanted her.”

A now smiling Kickback turned and got up from his chair.

“Where you going?”

“Well Ponyville is a day by train, so if im going to get there the fastest way possible I better go a reserve a slot.”

Soarin now confused asked“a slot for what?”

“A slot on the fastest way to get anywhere of course.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Yup, the wonderbolt stunt cannon.” Kick now with a wide smile on his face made his way out of the mess hall, leaving behind him a now fat Soarin unable to lift himself with his wings.

“I woke up late on the day of my appointment and rushed to the cannon. The crew was off duty and I wouldn’t get another chance to use the thing for weeks, so I may have shot myself out of the thing without knowing how to use it. I really just loaded TNT into the barrel and jumped in and lit a match.” Kick said to Rainbow, indicating that the story was over by taking a deep breath. As far as she was concerned he was there to scout her. He had carefully left out the parts about him falling and how Rainbow was already a wonderbolt. Let’s hope that was enough to get me off her bad side He thought to himself. It was now dark out and Rainbow was somehow still awake, all her attention on Kick.

“Alright I believe you” Rainbow said almost in a suspicious tone, “but to be safe im gonna have one of my friends check in with the princesses to make sure you’re a scout.” With that Rainbow turned and began to make her way out the door and almost did until she heard Kick shout, “STOP!” She turned around to see Kick pointing to the cuffs on his hooves.

“Do you think you could take these off? My hoofs are starting to ache and I think they are turning purple from the lack of blood, hard to tell when your entire coat is a shade of the damn thing.”

Rainbow looked at him then the cuffs and then back at him and began to chuckle. “Yeah no problem I’ll get somepony to take em off, right after I get some much need sleep.” Before Kick could protest Rainbow had left and shut the door leaving behind an annoyed Kickback.

Well, Kick thought, looks like this is gonna be one hell of a vacation. Deciding that there was nothing to do but sleep Kick moved towards the lamp to shut it off. However his hoof stopped a mere three inches from the switch. Surprised he cast a glance over his arm and saw that he was as far as the cuffs would allow. With a heavy sigh, Kick fixed himself in the bed as best as he could without dislocating a leg and closed his eyes to get some much needed rest.

Just before it all went black he swore he could hear some tape ripping.