Phoenix's Scrap Bin

by PhoenixHorseGuy

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character
Length: 4532

An assortment of cut chapters, abandoned projects, and scenes that didn't make the final edit. All written by your favorite tax fraudster.

An assortment of cut chapters, abandoned projects, and scenes that didn't survive to the final edit. All written by your favorite tax fraudster. Don't expect this to be updated very often.

Published 2023-09-15 00:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-09-15 00:30:00 UTC

HBS Prologue One: Ice, Snow, and Concrete

Author's Note

Her Beloved Son: A Brief Introduction

Story name: Her Beloved Son: The Rise of Solar Flare

Story Description: Some guy slips on an ice patch and hits his head on his driveway. He wakes up with a headache, in a new body, in another persons bedroom. Oh, and now he’s fourteen years younger, for some reason.

To make this situation even stranger, Princess Celestia has taken a very… peculiar interest in Equestria’s newest colt. One that may end up changing both their lives forever.

Word count (according to Libre Office): 5,337 words, when including chapter titles and the story description.

Note: This story was set to begin seventeen years before the events of FiM take place, and would have primarily taken place in Canterlot. The last chapter of the story would have taken place three days after the return and defeat of Nightmare Moon, with Solar Flare's introduction to Luna. All of this was written way back in March of 2023, and outside of some reformatting, it has remained entirely unedited from it's original state. I might revive the idea in the future. For now, though, it shall remain here. Left to the scrap bin.

Additional note: I find it kind of funny how I went through the effort to indent my chapters with this story, when I don't even bother to do so for "The Crystal Human".

HBS Prologue One: Ice, Snow, and Concrete

Prologue One: Ice, Snow and Concrete

I heard my shovel scrape against the concrete as I drew another line in the snow. I held the shovel up and carried my prize to the pile of snow at the edge of the yard where I dumped my payload. I then returned to the other side of the strip of concrete, ready to repeat the process again.

The job wasn’t that hard to be frank with you. In fact, it’s one that I’ve had to do many times over the years. Just a simple fact of life in New York State. It snows in winter, and sometimes there’s so much snow that you need to shovel your driveway in the morning so you can get in and out of it.

Doesn’t mean that I didn’t find it incredibly boring and tedious though. Thankfully, I was almost done. Only two, maybe three trips more, then I could go back inside and warm up. Still had another hour and a half before I had to drive to work. I had enough time to eat breakfast, take a shower, get in my work clothes, and drive to work. Even with potential traffic, I expected to get there at least a few minutes early.

One of the very first things that got ingrained in my mind when entering the workforce: punctuality is key. Being late to consistently meant being chewed out, or worse, fired, by your boss. Don’t get me wrong, being a cashier isn’t exactly the greatest job in the world, but it pays the bills and it gives me something to do during the day. Really that’s all I can ask for out of a job.

I drop another payload of snow in my little pile. ‘Trip one of three done’ I think to myself as I head back to the other end of the driveway and begin my return trip. Was there a more efficient way to do this? Oh, absolutely. No doubt in my mind about it. But this method gave me more time to think. Better to get lost in my own thoughts now rather than later when I’m in the middle of checking out a customer or something.

But what thoughts was I getting lost in exactly? Just anything that happened to pop into my mind, really. Questions about life and the meaning of it, random mental reminders to do things like take out the garbage or feed the dog, what I might do on my day off tomorrow. Sometimes the mental jukebox would kick to life and play a song or two. Perhaps even combine a bunch into some sort of Frankenstein's melody of sounds and lyrics. According to my mind, Psychosocial by Slipknot works well with I/Me/Myself by Will Wood. Whether I can trust my mind on that is a mystery.

Eventually my mind drifted to an odd dream I had been having recently. One that had been recurring for the past few months. I’m no stranger to odd dreams. Far from it. I’ve been a victim of the classic “infinite bathrooms” dream for nearly two years at this point, and before that I had a few different recurring dreams when I was younger. But, as cliché as it sounds, this dream felt different for some reason.

Let me set the scene for you: It’s the middle of the night, a full moon hangs in the sky as I find myself in my old elementary school. The building looks run down, though it is clear that it had only been abandoned recently, perhaps in the past year or two. As I wander around I get the feeling that someone or something is watching me and my movements from the shadows, but dream me keeps shaking it off. Perhaps he thinks that it’s of no concern.

‘Oh, it’s just a raccoon!’

‘Maybe a family of bats set up camp here for the night?’

‘Probably just some homeless guy who took up shelter here.’

Okay maybe the last one would be a cause for concern under the right circumstances, but lets not dwell on that. This is the retelling a dream after all.

Anyways, I eventually end up in the gym. As I wander around, I see a light coming out from under the supply closet door. Curiosity gets the best of me (and doesn’t kill me, unlike the cat) and I step into the closet. Most of the floor has been replaced with a bottomless pit. Or, at least it looked bottomless. It stretched on for miles downward into eternal darkness. I also see a single, solitary light floating above it. Now, it didn’t look like a light bulb on a string or anything, but rather a ball of white light. Enough to let me see, but not enough to blind me.

As I’m standing at the edge of the hole, I feel something push me. Never saw who, or what, did it. I fall down the hole for a while until I eventually end up in a walkway of stones in a field of stars. I see doorways of white light on both sides of the path, and the path itself seems to stretch on forever. Before I have time to look around properly, a booming voice comes from somewhere above me:

“WHO GOES THERE?”

I look up in an effort to locate the voice, yet nothing is there. Just the moon and more of the infinite starry abyss that this infinite walkway finds itself in. The voice speaks again:

“WE SAID, WHO GOES THERE?”

The voice was loud and imposing, but also feminine and… regal? Can you even use regal as a descriptor for voices? Eh screw it, I’ll use it as one anyway. ‘She’ was also pretty clearly pissed off about me being there.

“Uh… who are you? And where am I?” I ask to the disembodied voice, confused out of my mi-

*VROOOOOM*

The internal retelling of my dream gets interrupted as the snowplow comes down the street and pushes more snow into my driveway.

“Oh for fucks sake” I mutter to myself as I look at my newly acquired snow. It was a minor inconvenience, one that would only delay me by a minute or so, but an inconvenience nonetheless. I shovel the new snow out of my driveway and start making my way inside. I check my phone and see that it reads 7:42.

“Okay, my shift starts at nine. That gives me… one hour and eighteen minutes to get ready and get to work. Just need to hope there isn’t that much traffic. Hopefully I won’t be late.” I say aloud to myself. I stop for a moment before shaking my head and continuing on. “I need to stop talking to myself.” I mutter under my breath.

As I walk up the driveway, I fail to notice the large patch of ice that I was about to step on. I also fail to notice that I’m about to slip on it until it’s too late.

“SHI-” I don’t get to finish my explicit until I hit the back of my head on the concrete. Hard. Shortly afterwards I feel like blacking out, cold and in pain.

‘Hopefully someone finds me quickly.’ I think as the world above me descends into darkness.

HBS Prologue Two: Still Alive... sort of.

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

HBS Prologue Three: A Stranger in a Strange World.

Prologue Three: A Stranger in a Strange World.

“Is something wrong with your hooves?” She asked. The worry was evident in her voice.

“I… I…” I couldn’t find the words, so I shut up and just kept staring down at where my hands were supposed to be. After a few more minutes of this, I finally spoke.

“I… need a moment to process… everything… that’s happening to me right now.” I replied.

Celestia nodded. “Very well. We shall leave you alone for now. I must attend to the day court. If you need anything, there will be two guards posted outside the door. They should be able to get you anything you request. I’ll come visit you around noon.”

I nodded, staying silent as I look down at my hooves again. Both Celestia and the guard left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Me being me, I got out of bed and started pacing around the room. It was difficult at first, but eventually I got the hang of using four limbs to walk. At some point I started talking out loud to myself again.

“Where the fuck am I? Why did I end up in the Royal Gardens? Why am I a talking horse? Why am in a princesses bedroom? Did I put my laundry in the dryer?” I stopped my pacing at that final question, trying to remember. “Fuck! I didn’t!”

I was about to resume my pacing when a knock came from the door. A guard poked his head in. “Hey, you okay kid? I just heard you yelling through the door.” This guard looked exactly like the one from earlier, but he sounded a lot younger. Probably in his twenties, if I had to guess. Concern was evident in his voice while he spoke to me.

“Yeah, everything's fine. Just remembered that I didn’t put my laundry in the dryer before I ended up here is all.” I replied. “Oh wait, you just reminded me of something.”

“And that is?’

‘The fact that I’m a child again.”

The guard gave me a very confused look. “What do you mean by again?”

“Well, last I checked I was a nineteen year old with a job, a car, and enough of a social life to pretend that I do have one. Now, I’m at least younger than ten years old and being held captive in a princesses bedroom by another talking horse.” I said. “Either I have somehow discovered inter-dimensional travel completely by accident, or I am hallucinating after doing a fuck ton of drugs.”

The guard simply pulled his head back and closed the door, seemingly deciding that he didn’t want to deal with a mentally ill child anymore. Good. I wouldn’t want to deal with me either if I was in his shoes. Or would it be horseshoes? Who knows at this point.

After that interaction, I finally noticed the bathroom connected to the bedroom. ‘Might as well see what I look like now.’

I walked in and… it was a bathroom. Shocking, I know.

No seriously it kinda was. I wasn’t expecting this place to have running water.

It was a pretty standard bathroom. Had a toilet, a shower, a sink. Everything you would expect from a bathroom. The bathtub looked a bit big, but what do you expect from the room of a princess who’s taller than everybody else in this place? I saw the mirror in it’s usual place up over the sink… which I was to small to see over the top of. I contemplated asking a guard for help before noticing a box in the corner of the room. I pushed the box over with my head and jumped on top of it. Now I could see the mirror and, by extension, myself.

I had a white coat of fur and light blue eyes. My mane and tail were short and orange. It felt weird having short hair again after growing it out for the past three years, but that was quite low on my list of concerns right now. I also had a horn sticking out of my head, so that was cool. I also took this chance to verify that I am, in fact, still male.

‘Good. At least there’s one thing that’ll stay consistent.’

I left the bathroom to resume my pacing and ended up in front of the closed curtains. ‘Well, if I’m gonna be in here for hours on end, might as well get some sunlight.’ With that, I opened the curtains to reveal that the window was actually the entrance to a balcony. I step out in order to get a good look at my surroundings.

The sky is still blue, and there were some clouds scattered about in it. The deadly laser we all call “the sun” is high in the sky, yet it still felt somewhat chilly. I noticed snow on the roof of one of the other towers and a few icicles scattered about, so I come to the conclusion that it was winter in… wherever I was. Still needed to figure that out. I could see I was in a castle of some kind, overlooking a city in the side of a mountain. All in all, the view was beautiful, and it helped me calm down some after the stressful morning I’ve been having. Judging by the suns current position in the sky, it was a little before noon.

“I’m definitely late for work.” I chuckled to myself when I said that. Work. Work was the least of my concerns right now. I’m sure that even my asshole of a boss would understand why I didn’t show up this morning once the news of my death and/or disappearance breaks. Assuming any of this was real, of course. I could be hallucinating. Or maybe I’m dreaming. Or maybe I did die and got reincarnated. Really, who knows at this point?

I looked over the railing at the ground below. “If this were a dream, then I would probably wake up before I hit the ground.” I stopped myself for a moment and shook my head while chuckling. “Haven’t even been here for a day and I’m already thinking about killing myself.” I stopped looking over the railing and back out at the city.

I was quickly lost in my thoughts. So lost in them, in fact, that I didn’t even notice Celestia sit next to me until she put a wing over my back and pulled me into a hug. Her wings were soft, and she was warm. I felt comfortable for the first time since I woke up here, and I would be lying if I said that I wanted that to end.

Another thought entered my mind in that moment: This is the first hug I’ve had in years. I got hugged plenty as a kid, my mother wasn’t a monster, but it had been a while since the last time I was hugged by someone. Even then, I didn’t stop looking at the skyline. We stayed like that for a few moments, simply looking out.

“Enjoying the view, my little pony?” Celestia asked, her regal yet calm and comforting voice just seemed to have some calming effect on me. Whether it was magic on her part or my already much calmer state of mind I’m not sure. I nodded in response. “It’s nice to see your doing much better than you were when you woke up.”

“You can thank the view for that, princess.” I replied, still focusing more on my own thoughts than anything else going on. Finally, I sighed and meet Celestia’s eyes. “I still have no idea what I’m gonna do about all of this though.”

Celestia remained quiet, so I took that as permission to continue. “I mean, I have three working theories right now. Theory A: I’m dreaming, and I could wake myself up right now by jumping off this balcony and simply waking up in a cold sweat back in my bed at home before hitting the ground.” I noticed Celestia raise an eyebrow at that. That was enough to tell me she didn’t like the fact that a child was contemplating suicide just to see if he was dreaming or not.

“Theory B: I did a lot of drugs at some point and now I’m having a really crazy hallucination. If that theory is true, then I could just wait out the drugs effects and figure it out from there.

“Theory C: This is real. I am now a talking horse, in a land full of talking horses and this is just my life now. I am also a child again, and- wait, are child labor laws a thing here?” Celestia nodded. “Okay, there goes that plan of getting a job at a shady factory somewhere for some cash. That means I would probably end up in an orphanage somewhere until I either get adopted or get kicked out by the people running it for not being a child anymore about a decade or so down the line.” I shrug, or at least try to. I haven’t figured everything out, okay? “That gives me a decade with free housing and free food if the second thing happens. More than enough time to figure out some kind of plan for the future.”

“Well, haven’t you been thinking a lot?” I swear I could see a small smile on her… muzzle? Or do I stick with just saying face? “Most colts your age aren’t thinking that far ahead.”

“I kinda have to. If Theory C is correct, then I’ve been thrown into a world I know nothing about in a body I only figured out how to move properly about an hour ago. And I highly doubt anybody would believe me if I walked up to them and said ‘Hello fellow horse! I used to a hairless monkey, but now I’m a horse! Can you teach me how to survive in your world?’” I chuckled. “That would get me a one-way ticket to a psych ward if I did that.”

Celestia seemed to crack another small smile at that. “Yes, I suppose it would. But do tell me, my little pony, have you thought of any other paths besides the orphanage? If Theory C is correct, of course.”

I looked back out at the city. “Not really, honestly. Suicide is out of the question. I haven’t lived here long enough to consider it as a serious option yet. Homelessness is a possibility, but I don’t think I would last long on the streets. Child labor laws prevent me from getting a job, so trying to earn my own income right out the gate is out of the question. Orphanage and possible adoption seems to be the most realistic and safe option in my mind.” I looked back up and met Celestia’s eyes. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, have you considered asking to stay here in the castle? If what you say about coming here from another universe is true, I would more than happy to provide you a guest room while you get your bearings.” Celestia said. “Who knows, perhaps you can find a way back home somewhere in the royal archives.”

Author's Note

As you can see, overly analytical and rambly characters are my specialty.

HBS Prologue Four: A Deal With a Princess

Prologue Four: A Deal With a Princess

I froze up at that. Was… was she serious? She just met me, what, two hours ago? And now she’s offering me a room in the castle? Even when she’s openly admitting that my story is hard to believe? For all she knows, I’m just some traumatized kid with a mental disorder and an overactive imagination. Granted, I do have the last two things, but that’s besides my point.

But then an idea entered my head. Perhaps…

“You know more than your letting on, don’t you?” I finally said. Celestia seemed unphased by this as I continued. “You know about the existence of other universes, don’t you? If you did, you would be more likely to believe my story, and thus more likely to help me when I need it. You have no reason to entertain my antics if you believe that I’m just some crazy child who’s trying to cover up his trespassing with some fantastical story. And you would even less reason to let me stay here… unless you wanted to keep a close eye on me to ensure that I don’t do anything stupid that may hurt you citizens. Or to make sure I’m not planning on causing any intentional harm to them.”

Celestia chuckled a little at my rambling. “My, you are bright for a colt your age. Yes, you are correct. I was withholding some information from you. I did it as a test. To see if you could connect the dots without me spelling it out for you.” Celestia smiled once again. “As for you, my offer still stands. If you wish to stay here in the castle, I would be more than willing to allow you to do so. I can also give you access to the royal archives, so you can see if you can find a way home.”

“… You know what. Fuck it, why not? Knowing my luck, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to go home anyways for some bullshit magic reason I don’t know about yet.” Celestia released me from her wing hug and the two of us started walking back into her room. “Still can’t hurt to try though. So, are you sure I won’t get a concussion?”

“My personal doctor checked on you while you were asleep, and he is certain that you don’t have one.” Celestia began. “Though he did tell me to tell you that you should make sure to drink plenty of fluids and take it easy for a few days.”

“Did your doctor also figure out my age, per chance?”

“He believes you to be five.”

‘So we’ve got a nineteen year old with a mind in the gutter in the body of a five year old. Great. No way this can go wrong.’ I thought to myself.

“I got a good look at myself in the mirror.” I said. “Tell me, is there anything useful about having this thing?” I asked, tapping at my horn.

“Well, you horn can be used to channel your magic.” Celestia explained, picking up a paper from her desk in her yellow magic to demonstrate. “You can use it for a lot of things, like long distance teleportation or creating a shield to defend yourself.” She set the paper back down on the desk. “Most unicorns tend to stick to simple telekinesis, however. If you want, I would be willing to teach how to har-”

Our conversation was rudely interrupted by my stomach, informing us that it has not had food enter it since I ate dinner last night. “How about we discuss this more over lunch?”

“Um, yeah. Lunch sounds nice. Didn’t have a chance to eat breakfast this morning.” I replied.

Before I could even reach the bedroom door, there was a flash of light. Once the flash evicted itself from my eyes, we were in what looked like a private dining hall. One long table with chairs all around it in an equally long room. Choosing to just accept the fact that I got teleported here, I sat down at the nearest chair, which just so happened to be one of the closest chairs to the one Celestia was sitting in, right on her left side.

“Just so you are aware,” Celestia began. “The proper term is ‘ponies’. Not ‘talking horses’.” I nodded and she continued. “There are three types of pony. Pegasi, who are the ones with wings, unicorns, who are the ones with horns, and earth ponies, who have neither.” So I’m a unicorn. Good to know.

“And what would you be? A unicorn-pegasus hybrid?” I asked. “You do have both wings and a horn.”

“No. I am an alicorn.” Replied Celestia. Before she could go more into detail, two ponies walked into the room. One of them, a lime green earth pony with a brown mane and tail and brown eyes, gave me a weird look while approaching the princess.

“Good afternoon, your highness.” Began the earth pony, who I could now tell was a mare. “We have your usual ready, just how you like it.” She turned her attention to me. “And who might you be?” She asked, a hint of veiled annoyance in her voice.

“This little colt is my personal guest, Salad Bar. He is going to be staying in the castle as a friend of the crown for the foreseeable future.” Celestia cut in, not giving me a chance to speak.

“I see” Said Salad Bar. “What’s his name?” She asked. “If we’re going to have a guest here for the foreseeable future, I would like to know his name.”

“Salad Bar, I’m no-”

“No no.” I said, cutting Celestia off and shocking the other two ponies in the room. “I apologize for interrupting you, princess, but what Salad Bar is asking is a pretty reasonable request. In my eyes at least.” I continued. The other ponies seemed to have come down from their shock after my apology. ‘As for my name, it’s-” I stopped myself for a moment. ‘Shit, I should’ve thought this through before I opened my big mouth.’ I decided on the first thing that popped into my head.

“My name… is Solar Flare. It’s nice to meet you.”

Author's Note

I really did Salad Bar dirty by not giving her a more original name lmao

The Crystal Human Chapter Seven: The Walmart Draft

HBS Chapter One: (Unnamed)

Four Years Later…

Author's Note

... and that's all I wrote.

No, I didn't have to include this here, but I figured that I would anyways. I never miss an opportunity to make a good joke.

Anywho, that's the end of Solar Flare's story for now. Enjoy what you got to see of it, ig.

It feels utterly bizarre to me how different this story feels. It's almost like someone else wrote it. I mean, indented paragraphs? Not using italics to indicate thoughts? What was I thinking!?