Bemused. That was the word, Twilight thought. It summed up her feelings rather succinctly.
Gathered outside the farmstead at Sweet Apple Acres, a small crowd of assorted well-dressed creatures stood chattering among themselves. Jovial was the mood, as was called for on a wonderfully sunny day where a happy occasion was set to happen. Though the majority of the crowd were equine, interspersed throughout were several dragons, griffins, changelings, and even a number of large yaks. As new arrivals to the farm slowly filtered in through the front gates, the crowd dispersed one by one, passing into the threshold of the barn. In the doorway, a slender young pegasus with a vibrant purple mane and a coat of cool orange was checking the names of guests against their list, with an earth pony mare then directing them to their designated seating.
Twilight nodded to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom as she stepped down the aisle between wide rows of folding chairs. The decor was very… interesting. Black and white everything. Bouquets, bunting, bridesmaid dresses, absolutely every piece of wedding decoration had been done with just the two colours. All the chairs were pointed towards a stage, where a huge pair of chequered flags had been ornately arranged in a crossed formation as a backdrop.
It was the decoration that had been the source of Twilight’s bemusement, but there had been an equal dose of amusement to balance the two out. It didn’t strike her as being a particularly wedding-appropriate colour scheme. But, she conceded, she did have some fairly traditional views on wedding normalities that could be attributed to her Canterlot upbringing. The chequered flags and the sporty aesthetic did seem very on-brand for both Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Taking her place at the lecturn to one side of the stage, she began to retrieve the quills and ink from her saddlebag, along with a small pile of paperwork. Pony marriages required a hefty portion of bureaucracy to officiate, not that she minded of course. The forms were doozies, to borrow Pinkie Pie’s vernacular, but there was some supreme thrill to be had by checking all the right boxes, and doing things by the book was immensely satisfying.
Why Twilight was still single was a mystery to behold.
Guests continued to filter in as Twilight double and triple checked her paperwork. The physically-larger guests were directed to standing room at the back, as much as the yaks threatened a diplomatic incident, and immediate family filtered towards the front row. Something gnawed at Twilight’s heartstrings, as she spotted the photographs of Granny Smith, Bright Macintosh, and Pear Butter sat on the chairs next to Apple Bloom’s reserved place. On Rainbow Dash’s side, her parents sat next to Scootaloo’s reserved seat. Other front row honours included the other Elements of Harmony, with Spike, Starlight Glimmer, and Sweetie Belle also present to even out the numbers.
In rows further back, a delightful mishmash of different faces appeared one by one. Swathes of the extended Apple family, Wonderbolts of all stages of their careers from trainee to retirement, faculty and alumni from the School of Friendship, and all manner of creature large and small that Twilight and her friends had come to know throughout their many years.
At quarter to eleven, Twilight managed (with what some guests would later describe to each other as ‘panicked flailing’ but she considered to be ‘a subtle wave of a hoof’) to catch Scootaloo’s attention from across the room. The alicorn mouthed the words ‘ten minutes’, receiving a nod of understanding in return. As Scootaloo’s voice could be heard calling to any guests loitering outside to queue up and take their seats, Twilight produced a scroll from her saddlebag. When Rainbow Dash had given it to her, the instructions had been very clear: to start the ceremony at five to eleven, and read this scroll out loud to the guests. It was beginning to worry Twilight that she’d yet to actually see either Applejack or Rainbow Dash today, but she had promised to do her task and not ask any questions.
She’d quietly thought Rainbow Dash was teetering dangerously close to ‘bridezilla’ territory.
When Scootaloo and Apple Bloom strolled down the aisle to find their places, with all other guests now seated and chattering among themselves, Twilight checked her watch. Five minutes and thirty-six seconds to eleven. She waited for thirty-six seconds, then cleared her throat. Immediately, the room fell silent and all heads turned towards her.
She would never admit it out loud (when sober) but being able to effortlessly command the attention of an entire room with a single ahem was one of her favourite things about princesshood. The fact that it was only within the last few months that her mane had finally taken on the trademark ethereal flowing structure that was commonplace for alpha alicorns, of which there were only three currently living, added to her satisfaction. Cadence, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, who was presently three rows back and trying not to be too embarassed by her daughter Flurry Heart’s goth phase and outfit, was sadly only a beta alicorn, and thus would never receive such a divine hairstyle. Or immortality. The first family reunion since these details had emerged had been awkward to say the least.
“Dearly beloved,” Twilight began. “Thank you all for coming. We are gathered together here in the sign of Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle… that’s me, obviously …to join together two mares in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honourable among all sentient creatures; and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this humble estate these two equines present…”
She paused. “Err… or for now, two equines who will be present, now come to be joined. If any creature can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
‘Don’t anycreature dare,’ she thought to herself as she surveyed the room. A few curious heads were turning around to join in with seeking out anycreature bold enough to interrupt the proceedings. Hey, even Twilight couldn’t deny the drama would at least be interesting, if a little irritating. But, respectful as they were expected to be given how carefully curated the guest list was, everycreature in the room remained silent.
After giving the room a few moments to consider, Twilight smiled. “Well, that makes this whole process a lot simpler,” she jested, eliciting some polite chuckles from most of the crowd, though the yaks didn’t seem to gel with the Equestrian sense of humour and remained stoic and silent.
“Now, as some of you are aware, the brides have given me a letter to read from, before the ceremony gets properly under way.” Holding the scroll aloft in her magic, Twilight looked from Apple Bloom to Scootaloo as if for clarification. “But as I understand it, none of us actually know what it says?”
Apple Bloom simply shook her head, and Scootaloo gave a shrug.
“Well, no sense in delaying I guess,” Twilight continued, clearing her throat again as she unfurled the scroll and set it down on the lecturn. “To our assembled friends and loved ones,” she read. “We would like to begin with a thank you to everypony and everycreature for taking the time out of their busy schedules to join us on this important day. We know being sappy and mushy isn't something either of us do very much, but we are both so happy that on the day we celebrate our love for each other, we can do so with all of you.”
The crowd let out some quiet ‘aww’s, and Twilight paused for a moment to allow them to take in the saccharine moment that, she had to agree, was a display of affection Applejack and Rainbow Dash rarely showed.
“The time right now is five minutes to eleven. We know this even at the time we've written this, because we've…” Twilight frowned, squinting and closely examining the letter. She just had to make sure it definitely said what she thought it said. It did. She let out a loud sigh of resignation before she continued reading. “ …because we've asked our favourite egghead and princess, Twilight Sparkle, to officiate our vows. And her timekeeping is second to none, so if anypony is going to keep the ceremony running diligently and punctually, it's her.”
Once again, the crowd ‘aww’ed in small scatterings, but there was definitely some suppressed giggling interspersed throughout.
“First, some background. While planning this day, the two of us had somewhat of a disagreement. We had both imagined ourselves at the altar wearing a suit, and the other wearing a dress. Now, some folks would just say 'why don't you just both wear a suit', and while that might have been a good compromise? It doesn't account for the fact that both of us are very competitive.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “And if…” She trailed off again, once again squinting at the paper for a double take before she reluctantly continued reading. “And if Twilight just rolled her eyes, it's just because she knows that 'competitive' is an understatement.”
No ‘awwing’ for that part, but the whole crowd laughed. Applejack and Rainbow Dash owed her big time for this.
“So, the two of us agreed upon a challenge, one to commemorate the day our feelings for each other really started to brew. Some of you may remember it well, the Running of the Leaves where we both came dead last. While outwardly we may have kept it under wraps, we both agree that it was on that day that we had started to fall for each other. And we were only supposed to be making leaves fall! Though it was a slow-burning thing, years passed by until we started going out. But it was years after that, during the post-run social event, that we proposed to each other. The fact that everypony knew we were both going to ask each other at the same time is something neither of us will ever live down. Thank you all.”
Okay, that was unfair. Mocking Twilight twice in a short span of a few paragraphs, and then totally disarming any feelings of annoyance she could muster by bringing up that particular event. It had been the sweetest display of love and affection that Twilight had ever witnessed, and it wasn’t fair to remind her of that when she was trying to be irked with them.
“And today, in the spirit of the event that brought the pair of us closer and closer together on multiple occasions, we will… race once more?” Twilight couldn’t keep the confusion out of her voice as she read on. “We are currently sat in position at Ponyville's town hall. At the sound of the first bell when the clock strikes eleven, the race begins. A hoof-race from the middle of town, to the finish line right where you are all sat waiting. The first of us to set a hoof upon the stage, she will be declared the winner.”
The whole crowd started murmuring in confusion as Twilight looked at the chequered flags behind her. Suddenly they made perfect sense.
“So, what's the prize worth racing for? The winner gets to wear the suit, and has a gold wedding band. The loser has to settle for wearing the dress, and a silver wedding band. Oh, and don't worry, we won't let our competitiveness ruin the day. In fact, we plan to make this our anniversary tradition: an annual race to see who wears gold for the year, and who wears silver. I mean, it's us, so don't pretend to be surprised by all this.”
By now, the full gravity of the situation and the meaning behind the written words was beginning to settle upon the crowd. Excited whispers passed from mouths to neighbouring ears. Some of the elder members of the Apple clan looked scandalised by the affront to a traditional ceremony, whilst the assembled Wonderbolts were laughing and exchanging hoofbumps. Apple Bloom had her face buried in her hooves in embarassment, while Scootaloo was teetering on the edge of their seat like they were eager to see the outcome. Twilight, meanwhile, was taken aback. But this was very on-brand for both Applejack and Rainbow Dash, so she wasn’t entirely surprised.
Then silence fell on the room as the distant but unmistakable sounds of a ringing bell began to roll across the valley. As all other eyes on the room fell on the open doorway to the barn, Twilight looked down at her watch. Lo and behold, it had just struck eleven o’clock. Which meant that at that moment, somewhere in town, both Applejack and Rainbow Dash were now sprinting their way towards Sweet Apple Acres. At least, she’d hoped Applejack had been smart enough to call out Rainbow Dash pre-emptively on any cheating, and level the odds by forbidding her from using her wings. Gosh, it really was an exact repeat of the Running of the Leaves more than ten years ago. Where had the time gone?
“Also,” Twilight continued to read, everycreature’s eyes turning back to her as she spotted a postscript. “Thank you to Spike for transcribing this letter, as well as helping us come up with the bigger and fancier words. See you all soon!”
Heads seemed magnetically drawn to the beefy purple dragon in the front row. He may have recently gone through a growth spurt, but the grin of badly-feigned innocence plastered across his face was no different than it was when he was a baby.
“Y’all helped ‘em come up with this?” Apple Bloom gasped. ”An’ it dint cross ‘yer mind even once that the rest of us might’n be in a position where we ought’a know?”
Spike shrugged. “They made me Pinkie Promise not to say anything.”
“And nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise!” declared a sugar-fuelled voice of doom from the Apple side of the crowd.
“Alright, everycreature, settle down,” Twilight said soothingly, though Apple Bloom still looked affronted. “Though this is an… erm… well, let’s call it an ‘unconventional situation’, it’s still something Applejack and Rainbow Dash have decided they wanted to do for their wedding.” This caused further chattering amongst the crowd, but Twilight continued nonetheless. “Those of us who have been a part of the wedding planning process know exactly how much work, thought and effort has been put in by both of them in the run up to today. The decision to go through with this spectacle will not have been made lightly, nor without great consideration that it is what they want to do on their wedding day.”
More chattering and murmuring, particularly from the Apple family.
”And neither of them are especially ordinary ponies, in fact I can tell you firsthoof how extraordinary the both of them are,” Twilight continued, turning her head slightly towards the bulk of the Apple clan. “So holding a grudge against the pair of them for straying away from normalities would be an atrocious waste of time, if you ask me.” Her words had a mixed effect on the Apples, with some drooped ears in shame, but some elder faces seemed to just steel their resolve to be dismayed. Ah well, Twilight figured, it was their loss.
“But I’m sure,” she added, looking down to Apple Bloom. “That there were no ill feelings towards anypony that led to them being left out of the loop. I mean, even I didn’t know they were doing this!” Apple Bloom’s expression softened. “Hey, they were just surprising us in their own unique way. And you know, even after all these years, the fact they can still surprise us all is something rather special, don’t you think?”
Smatterings of applause came from the crowd, and Apple Bloom gave a self-assuring nod to herself as Scootaloo zipped over and offered a comforting hug. The tensions ebbed away from the room as Twilight unfurled the scroll to its full length, finding that, to her surprise, a small flag had been attached to the bottom. She picked it up in her magic, and the alternating patterns of black and white squares seemed to pass a message to her. One more task. A very slight grin spread across her face and she chuckled knowingly.
Time seemed to drag as the crowd slowly turned back towards the doorway, and excited whispering and chatting began to echo around the barn. Though she’d given her reassurances to the crowd, a small voice at the back of Twilight's mind would not let up with spouting its concerns about what would be happening momentarily. But, as she was well-versed in doing by this point, she silenced that voice. Several times. It kept resurfacing, like an annoying pest. Come now, there was a time and place for intrusive thoughts, and that time had been and gone when she’d asked if anycreature objected. And yet, still the voice persisted.
Twilight’s ears flicked. Was that… could she hear approaching hoofsteps?
One by one, the whispers in the crowd died down, and some creatures even started shushing each other, so Twilight guessed she’d heard correctly. And the more quiet the room got, the louder the noises became. Distant hooves, thundering louder and louder towards them. Briefly the tension in the room resurfaced. Twilight knew why. Hearing them, but not being able to see them? That was the worst part. It was ultimately inconsequential to her, which of the two ponies would win this race. But she couldn’t help but hold her breath as they waited for either of the racing ponies to appear.
And then, there they were. First Applejack bolted into sight, then came Rainbow Dash, trailing so close behind that the pair could well have been neck and neck. It was hard to tell, from where Twilight was standing. She could see both of their faces, bright red with exertion in the morning sun. Applejack’s hat teetered alarmingly, like it was deciding whether or not it was worth sticking around if every day of marriage would be this turbulent. And Rainbow Dash’s wings, tucked out of sight by the length of rope wrapped tightly around her midriff, seemed to strain against the bondage in protest. Like they’d give anything to be free. Which was probably true.
In their seats, the creatures in attendance sat closest to the aisle all began to lean backwards, away from the approaching turmoil. Twilight sympathised; watching Applejack and Rainbow Dash barreling towards her at top speed, she’d sooner be fighting some gargantuan monster again if it meant she didn’t have to stand right there.
The floor began to shake. Nervous whispers in the crowd. A typhoon of orange and cyan surged relentlessly closer. It crossed over the threshold into the barn, causing everycreature they passed to flinch away as neither of them slowed down. Acting purely on instinct, Twilight winced as she expected something to go very wrong very fast.
Sadly, Twilight was correct more often than not.
Time appeared to slow down as Rainbow Dash clocked onto the fact that she was about to lose. And all it took was a stumble in her resolve to convince the first domino to fall. She put a single hoof wrong, and chaos ensued. Down she went, flipping over herself and colliding into Applejack’s back legs. Instantly, the two ponies became one tumbling mess as they crashed and careened head over hoof, down the aisle towards the stage in a frenzied mess of fur and feathers. The rope keeping Rainbow Dash’s wings secure flew off, scattering cyan feathers in all directions as Applejack’s hat shot into the crowd and knocked an unsuspecting Soarin off of his chair.
Everycreature else could only watch helplessly as the pair of ponies barrelled forwards, momentum easing slowly away as they crashed across the hay-strewn floor, and finally stopping just inches from the stage. How the two of them had managed to steer their path of destruction in a perfectly straight line, and not hit anycreature else in the room, Twilight could only guess.
The crowd all rose to their hooves, several moving forward to get a closer look and make sure the two ponies were unhurt. Almost as soon as the two of them had stopped rolling, however, Applejack had managed to rise up on four shaky legs. She breathed heavily and grinned down at Rainbow Dash, who was equally out of breath but had been unfortunate enough to end their tumble on the bottom. Dash squinted up at her fiancée, struggling to control her heaving lungs as she had to pause to blink away the dust from her eyes.
“Well then… sugarcube…” Applejack wheezed, waving away everycreature currently moving in to offer assistance. “Ah’ reckon… reckon that’s… a win… ‘fer me. Un… unlucky.”
“You… think… so?” Rainbow Dash gasped back.
It took Applejack a moment to process Rainbow Dash’s words. And for a beautiful moment, the pegasus was treated to an expression of confusion. But then it twisted into horrified denial as Applejack registered not only the words, but the smile plastered across Dash’s face. The evil grin. One that she loved to bring out during any ‘gotcha’ moments. Applejack looked down, under her midsection and towards her hindquarters. There, clear as day, she could see that Rainbow Dash had stretched out one of her own back legs, and had placed it tenderly against the stage.
“The first of us to set a hoof upon the stage, she will be declared the winner,” Twilight recited, suppressing a chuckle.
Applejack turned, her face now level with Rainbow Dash’s. The earth pony’s nostrils still flared dramatically as her lungs fought for air, but the tiniest of smiles seemed to tilt the edges of her mouth very slightly upwards. The wording had been agreed upon by both of them. She’d lost fair and square. Rainbow Dash leaned up, giving Applejack a very brief kiss on the lips, and they grinned at each other.
”Hey Twi… you know… what to do…” Dash panted.
Standing to attention, Twilight walked over to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and waved the chequered flag around above their heads. The crowd cheered and applauded as they realised that the pair sprawling across the floor hadn’t done either of them any serious harm, and the mood turned back towards the festivities.
”C’mon sweetie…” Dash continued. “Let’s… let’s get you… in that… dress.”
What followed the dramatic arrival of the two betrothed ponies was somewhat chaotic. Despite all protests from Applejack and Rainbow Dash that they weren’t hurt, Twilight had still insisted that they be given a thorough once-over from a trained medic before the ceremony could proceed. Given that the alicorn was literally the one present with the power to deem the marriage official, there really wasn’t any wiggle room. But, after relenting and letting themselves be looked at, both Applejack and Rainbow Dash were declared to only be bumped and bruised, and things could continue.
Given the pair of them now needed time to get dressed, Twilight had called for a short recess to the guests, and led them outside the barn to mingle. It was at this point that Rarity had to sheepishly admit that she wasn’t completely in the dark about the arrangement for the plans of the day. After all, she had prepared both suits and dresses for both of the brides, and thus had been told that something untoward would be happening at the ceremony. The fact that she hadn’t been privvy to the specifics did little to dispel the looks of annoyance she received from much of the Apple family, but nevertheless, she set off with Applejack to help her get ready.
It was hardly Rarity’s finest work, given that Applejack refused all but the most basic of makeup, but soon the earth pony was tidied up, mane brushed, and all dressed and ready to go in a magnificent white gown. With one last hug and some well-wishes from Rarity, Applejack found herself alone. She couldn’t deny, it was a real fine dress. Long and flowing, but layered and decorated with tassels that made it feel no different than the dress she wore to her first Grand Galloping Gala. But she tried not to dwell on how that particular event had gone.
A knock at the door distracted her. “Rarity?” she called out.
”Actually, err… it’s me,” came a raspy voice as the door pushed open. A multicolour mane appeared, and Rainbow Dash’s head poked in.
”Dash? Don’t yer’ reckon it’s bad luck, seein’ me before an’ all?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged as she pushed the door all the way open, revealing her smart black suit. She’d gone for a simple and straightforward suit, with a long coattail that ran all the way down to her flank, and tiny Zap Apples adorned her cufflinks. “I’ve seen you already today, so even if I believed that mumbo jumbo, we’re already cursed. But, I got you something, and I wanted to give it to you before the ceremony.”
She leaned her head out of sight beyond the door frame, and returned holding a large white circular box with the ribbon grasped in her teeth. She stepped in and deposited it on the floor at Applejack’s hooves.
”See, I kinda made a gamble that you wouldn’t win,” Dash explained sheepishly. “Regardless of whether or not I accidentally took us both down. And I just wanted to do something special.”
Applejack smirked. “’Accidentally’, huh?”
But with the way Rainbow Dash turned her head away, Applejack knew she’d hit a nerve. Once upon a time, Rainbow Dash would do anything to win and wouldn’t care about whether or not it was sporting or fair. Just as long as the gold medal was hers. But recent years had giving way to a more maturely-minded Dash, who appreciated the thrill of the competition just as much. A hard-fought second place meant far more to her than an unfairly-earned first place.
”Sorry,” Applejack murmured as she recognised the logo on the box. “Stetscolt?”
“Uh-huh,” Dash replied. “Look, I know your hat means everything to you. It was your old man’s hat, and as long as you’ve still got it, it’s like he’s still here with you. And I’m not trying to replace that. But I wondered if, just for today, you might wanna try something… err… different.”
Applejack gasped as she opened the box. It was beautiful. Though the same shape as her hat, this one was white like a crisp layer of snow. Rainbow Dash must have co-ordinated with Rarity, as the fabric band matched the shade of white on the dress exactly. And neatly tucked on one side were two decorative flowers; one cyan, and one orange.
”Oh… oh Rainbow Dash…” Applejack whispered. “It’s… it’s amazin’… and ah’ reckon mah’ Pa would just be pleased as punch to be getting’ you as a daughter-in-law…”
As Applejack pulled it onto her head, trying to fight back the tears threatening to spring loose from her eyes, Rainbow Dash stepped forward. She reached into the box, pulling out a simple veil, and rested it into place atop the hat. Then, for a few moments, she just looked into Applejack’s eyes. But the earth pony couldn’t resist. She reached up, lifted the front of the veil, and then leaned in to kiss Rainbow Dash.
The two ponies held each other there for a few moments, lips together, and in the blissful timeframe that passed they each had nothing to worry about. Together they stayed, and would stay until impatient princesses came knocking. Not that either of them knew that in the moment, of course. But when it was just the two of them together, anything else seemed of no consequence.
“So,” Applejack said, when they finally gave each other a chance to breathe. “We ought’a make trails, huh? Got a whole bunch’a guests down there waitin’ on us.”
Rainbow Dash smirked, resting the tip of her muzzle against Applejack’s. “They can wait a few more minutes.”
Author's Note
This story is written under the assumption that the episode 'Made In Manhatten', which depicts Applejack's hat being damaged, tossed out and nonchalantly replaced by Rarity with one from a street vendor, is not canon.
