A Message for the Ruler of Equestria
Author's Note
Just so you know, I don't hate the story this is a continuation of. I was just inspired by that story to make a hypothetical scenario showing how Earth might respond to the destruction.
Here's a link to the original story if you want to read it for yourself. It's recommended that you read that story first so you'll understand what's going on.
A Message for the Ruler of Equestria
It was a long day for the residents of Equestria, but everypony was winding down for the night after all the time they spent clearing out all the junk they found on Earth.
While they were out and about in the city of New York, Princesses Celestia and Luna found a few TVs in a nearby building and decided to take one for themselves. It would be nice to see what stuff from the human world was like.
At that moment, Luna was freshening up, preparing to enter the dreams of other ponies and ensure they got a good night’s sleep. Celestia, meanwhile, was watching some shows on the TV they took.
“Wow, it sure seems like the humans have done alright for themselves,” she noted, “Nonetheless, I’m sure they appreciate all the things we did for them,”
She then changed the channel to CNN, and the first thing she noticed was a female human in a suit addressing the viewers.
On the top right corner of the screen was a red square with flames, and a black silhouette of her head on it with the words “When Equines Attack” on it.
“In recent news, some of you are likely aware of the events that transpired on this planet a week after the island now known as “Equestria” arrived on Earth through unknown means,” the human said.
This got Celestia’s interest. She had recently discovered a device in the vault of the castle where the Elements of Harmony were being held that allowed Equestria to teleport to other planets, and Earth was the first planet they arrived on.
She planned on revealing this to several world leaders after she and the others were done making their improvements. In the meantime, she could enjoy hearing the amazing things the humans had to say about their services… but what was with the strange image onscreen?
“In case you don’t know, let me explain,” the human began, “Earlier this morning, a colony of strange equine creatures invaded several world countries, and went on a rampage, leaving death and destruction in their wake. Tons of world landmarks were destroyed, and millions of people have been killed or injured,”
Those words made Celesita’s eyes shoot wide open in shock. What was this human saying? She had her ponies get rid of several buildings on Earth to make room for the stuff she thought they would like, and now this human was telling those who were watching that it was an attack? She didn’t believe any of it.
The screen cut to footage of several locations on Earth, showing several humans reacting to what went down. When she, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight were flying away from destroying the Statue of Liberty and replacing it with one similar to what was in Manehattan, they thought for sure the humans down below were praising them, but she was looking at footage of several New Yorkers looking at the statue, and none of them looked happy. Some were horrified, while others were sad or angry.
“Woah… that doesn’t look good,” Celestia thought to herself, “I’m sure they’re still trying to get over the shock. I’ll find at least one human here who’s pleased, I’m sure of it,”
But she didn’t. All of the footage she looked at showed humans who were not pleased with what the humans did, and there were several interviews with random humans, and everything they said was negative.
“Do you know what the worst of it was?” said a human from China who was complaining about the destruction of the super long wall that Derpy destroyed, “They think that everything they destroyed was meaningless stuff that we wouldn’t miss! The Great Wall of China was not meaningless! It was built years ago so the Chinese could defend themselves from invading countries! It is a staple of our country’s past, and we’re all thankful to have the wall for all the protection it gave us years ago, and now it’s gone! A VERY IMPORTANT SYMBOL OF OUR COUNTRY’S PAST! GONE! FOREVER! AND IT’S ALL THOSE FUCKING PONIES’ FAULT!”
Those words were enough to send shivers up Celestia’s spine. That male human seemed incredibly upset about the loss of that wall. Was it that important to China’s history?
“Sis? What’s going on?” she heard Luna ask as she walked into the room.
“Oh, hi Luna,” Celestia said, “I’m seeing this story about what we were doing on Earth earlier today,”
“Really? I take it the humans are thankful for what we’ve done for them?” Luna asked.
“Uhh… I don’t think they are,” Celestia answered, pointing to the screen with her hoof, “Look!”
Luna fixed her gaze on the screen, and she saw what she meant. A lot of humans didn’t look happy about what the princesses and the other ponies had done, and the story seemed to mention that there were several deaths and injuries.
“Uhh… they seem to be acting a bit harsh,” Luna said.
“Well, a lot of these humans are saying that the things we destroyed were important symbols of Earth’s history and many key moments in the cultures of each country,” Celestia replied, “Perhaps they wanted everything the way it was before we arrived,”
“Oh, come on sis, it can’t be that bad,” Luna guessed, “I’m sure not everyone has bad things to say. What harm could we have possibly done?”
Luna’s question was immediately answered by the words of a male human and his daughter, the latter of whom was in tears while the former looked very angry. The setting was New York, and the humans were in front of the remains of what was once the World Trade Center.
“I didn’t think these ponies wanted to harm us when they first arrived, but I guess looks can be deceiving,” the man said, “Tons of landmarks and buildings were destroyed, and a heaping amount of people were hurt or killed in several cases! My wife is dead, for fuck’s sake!”
“My mommy’s dead!” the human girl cried, pointing to the remains of the WTC, “My mommy used to work there. She was a wonderful person, and she loved us very much! And now she’s gone, forever!”
As the girl kept crying, her father noted this and had something else to say, preferably to any ponies who were watching the report.
“Oh, did you hear that? Did any of you good-for-nothing freaks hear what my baby said?! Her mother is dead, and guess whose fault it was! We’ve already lost a World Trade Center years ago to terrorists, and we thought for sure we’d be keeping our new one forever, and now you’ve destroyed it! You killed my wife, my daughter's mother, you killed tons of other people, you injured many more, and you don’t even care! It’s like you hate humanity, for all I care! You never should’ve set foot on our land, and now you know why!”
Those words shook the two princesses to their very core and the crying girls’ tearful chanting of “Bad ponies! Bad ponies!” only worsened this. They thought for sure that what they did would make the humans happy, but instead, it made them sad, angry, scared, and other terrible things.
And as the story went on, more and more people had to speak the truth.
“My family and I went on vacation to Italy to take in the culture, enjoy our surroundings, and have fun, not to get traumatized by the destruction of Earth by an alien species!”
“Tons of people are dead, and our beautiful pyramids are in ruin! We don’t want these shitty ponified pyramids! We want our Great Pyramids back!”
“Ponies were once my favorite animal in the whole world, but now I hate them! They destroyed all of Stonehenge, and they hurt everyone!”
“This is our country! We don’t want these ponies on our land!”
“It’s the end of the world!”
“IT’S HELL ON EARTH! SATAN HAS BROUGHT THESE EQUINES HERE TO RUIN US ALL!”
Never in all her life have either of the princesses been this close to crying. The humans were furious about everything that happened. The ponies of Equestria have trashed all of Earth, thinking no one would mind, and they didn’t know all the harm they caused until they heard tons of people blame them for everything bad that happened.
The silence was broken when they heard a knock at the door, and when Celestia opened it with her magic, they were surprised to see Twilight and her friends were there, and they looked horrified.
“Twilight?! What’s going on?” Celestia asked.
“Princess Celestia, what’s going on?!” Twilight asked back, “My friends and I were using a radio we found on Earth to listen in and see what the humans had to say about what we’ve been doing, and everything we’ve heard was hurtful,”
“Yeah, do they not like the paint job I did at the White House?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Oh dear… you found out too?” Celestia asked.
“Found out what?” Twilight asked back.
Luna pointed to the TV screen, which was still covering the destruction of several places and landmarks on Earth, and they saw what they meant. No one was happy about the changes they made, and according to what the female human was saying, tons of humans died or got injured.
“What the hay?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed in horror, “What we did was that bad?!”
“They… they hate us, don’t they?” Fluttershy nervously asked, almost in tears at what she’s been hearing.
As much as Celestia wanted to ease the shy pegasus’ concerns, she was right. The humans must’ve hated them that much if the harm they caused was this bad.
“Okay, we’ve just received word from the White House that the president has a message for the leader of the attackers,” the female human narrating the story said before it cut to a conference room, where an old man in a suit was standing, addressing the audience in attendance.
“Hello, this is US President Joe Biden speaking, and I have an important message for Princess Celestia, the leader of the ponies who attacked our beloved planet,” the president began, “I don’t know what compelled you to do this to us, but we as humans have led amazing lives up to this point. The things you have destroyed are important symbols of our history and culture. We loved them very much, and you took them from us. It’s almost as if you view humans as inferior to ponies, and think we all need to flock to your cause. You are the most unhinged lunatic the world has ever seen, and frankly, I am disgusted that we haven’t noticed your intentions until now: I bet you wanted all of us humans to disregard our religions, cultures, etc., and devote every single aspect of our lives to you, so you forced your religion and culture upon us when we didn’t want it. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re a fascist dictator who wants the whole world in your hooves,”
Hearing those words made Celestia’s heart shatter into billions of tiny, unrecognizable pieces.
“It’s true… THEY DO HATE US!” Fluttershy cried out, bursting into tears upon hearing all those words.
“Ah can’t believe they’re saying this!” Applejack said, “You’re nothing like that, Princess. You only wanted what was best for every creature, did you?”
“Well, yeah… but I doubt any of the humans will ever believe that,” Celestia admitted.
“I’ve been thinking long and hard about what to do about this, and that’s when I got something,” President Biden revealed, “I got in contact with other world leaders, and they’re all willing to go along with my plan, despite many of our differences. An internal investigation says you preach peace and harmony with others, and we’re using that against you. The USA and all other countries in the world will be putting aside our differences, and working as one… to launch an invasion of Equestria!”
“INVASION?!” the ponies cried out in horror.
“Since you got a kick out of destroying our stuff and killing everyone, we’re gonna see how you like it when it happens to you. We will attack your kingdom, we will destroy everything in sight, buildings, and landmarks alike, we will slaughter every last one of your people and leave no survivors… and we’ll be saving you for last,”
Celestia didn’t know what to say. Were the humans seriously going to do that to Equestria?
“Although…” Biden said, “I’m more than willing to call off the invasion altogether if you pay all the fines resulting from this. You did the crime, so we’re expecting you to pay off all the fines we ask of you,”
“Wait, really?” Twilight asked, “We can save ourselves if we pay off all those fines?!”
“I sure hope it isn’t too much money,” Rarity said, “Who knows how much they want from us?”
“First off, we want you to pay $50 million to every single world country to cover all of the damage you caused, as well as all of the hospital and funeral bills. The royal family of the UK wants £75 billion as compensation for all the lives lost in their kingdom, and because I hate you for what you did, I want $500 million for myself,” Biden explained, “If you don’t pay every last penny off by tomorrow morning, we will invade Equestria, and leave it in worse condition that you left Earth in. That is all,”
As the president stepped down from the podium, the ponies who were watching were staring at the screen, with horrified expressions on their faces.
“I BEG YOUR PARDON?!” Rainbow Dash cried out, breaking the silence, “THEY WANT THAT MUCH?!”
“I don’t even know how many that is in bits!” Luna said, “Who knows how much that would be?”
Twilight immediately got to work calculating how much money they’d have to pay. From what he read, there are 195 different countries, each wanting $50 million. 195 multiplied by 50 million means their starting amount to pay was $9,750,000,000. The UK’s royal family is demanding £75 billion, which converted to $92,894,925,000, and the president wanted $500,000,000 for himself. All of this added up to a whopping $103,144,925,000! Assuming a single US Dollar is equal to 10 Equestrian Bits, the total they had to pay in bits was…
“$1.0314493e+13”
“Uhh… how much is that?” Celestia nervously asked.
“The… the amount of money we have in the treasury is less than 1/10 of what the humans are demanding! WE CAN’T POSSIBLY PAY BACK ALL OF THAT!”
“What are we going to do?!” Pinkie asked in horror.
“Well… there is one thing…” Celestia decided, “The device in the vault we used to get here. We’ll just have to get out of here,”
It was clear that they had no other choice, so the others silently agreed to the plan. Celestia made her way to the vault as quickly as she could, hoping to get to the vault and get Equestria out of Earth to prevent the kingdom from being invaded.
Unfortunately, several of the spies that the US government sent to find out the ponies’ motives were already in the vault, staking the place out for any guards who might know what was happening, and Celestia had the unfortunate luck of running into them.
Hours later, Equestria was left in an even worse state than Earth was, and the humans decided to claim the fallen land as their own and rebuild civilization there, finding the device in the vault, and teleporting Equestria to another planet.
Unfortunately, due to a miscalculation, the land mass was teleported to the planet Jupiter, where it got pulled into the gas giant’s Great Red Spot and ripped apart. All of the humans were dead before that happened anyway on account of the atmosphere of molecular hydrogen and helium, as humans need oxygen to live.
So yeah, no one wins. Everyone loses.
