We Don't Have Time for a Slow Burn Romance!

Chapters

The Part Where the Two Main Characters Meet
The Part Where They Dramatically Trip and Almost Kiss
The Part Where They Go to the Beach
The Part Where They Go to the Cultural Festival
The Part Where They Visit a Hot Spring
The Part Where They Live Happily Ever After

The Part Where the Two Main Characters Meet

Author's Note

Well, you all asked for it. Have some more Moondancer!

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!

The Part Where the Two Main Characters Meet

You lean your back against the building behind you while doing your best to take up as little space as possible. The streets of Canterlot are so crowded, you may as well be drowning in a sea of multicolored ponies. In front of you, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy fly a fair distance above the crowd. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Starlight Glimmer and Rarity are squeezed in just as tightly as everypony else. Of course, there is only one event that could cause this sort of crowd to appear in Canterlot: The Princess Procession.

To be honest, you still don't really understand the purpose of this event. When you asked Twilight about it, she told some story about an ancient Equestrian tradition that reinforced the public's trust in the nation's leaders or something. There was a whole lot of detail and not a whole lot of actually helpful context, so you just chalked it up to "pony weirdness."

And pony weirdness is an apt way of describing the event itself, too. For all intents and purposes, the Princess Procession is a parade of peculiar proportions. Ponies from seemingly every government branch in Canterlot march in formation. There are Royal Guard units, members of the EEA, plenty of elites that you saw back at the Grand Galloping Gala, a Wonderbolt here and there, and pretty much everypony in-between. It isn't just a normal march, either. They all go through a specific set of motions, each unique to the group performing them. Some look dance-like, while others are more rigid. The Wonderbolts perform many flips and twirls, the pencil pushers of the legislative committee do a sort of synchronized walk... frankly, if you didn't know any better, you'd think this was a circus performance.

Yet, the stars of the show should be obvious by the name of the event. Equestria's princesses each have their own part to play in the parade. You peer over the sea of ponies in front of you just as Twilight slowly goes by. It's a good thing you're so tall, otherwise you would have no hope of seeing her. She forces a smile at the crowd as she focuses on her movements. She leaps into the air, stops, falls, lands on all fours, then does it again. She steps right, she steps left. She does a... standing backflip? Wow, even from here you can see that she's working up quite the sweat. Yet, despite the fact that her movements are clearly extremely methodical, they don't exactly look graceful. You would assume that she's doing something wrong, if not for the fact that not too far behind her, you can see Princess Luna going through the exact same motions.

You're gonna be honest here: They look absolutely ridiculous.

You chuckle to yourself. Equestrian traditions are weird. As you watch Twilight and Luna head down the road, your friends begin to move with much of the crowd in an attempt to follow them. Meanwhile, you hang back, purposefully pressing yourself against the wall as best you can. Sure enough, the sea of ponies slowly begins to disperse. Most follow the procession, but at least a few go in every other direction as well. You breathe a sigh of relief. You aren't the best with crowds.

Besides, you know the parade's route. It still has a long way to go before it reaches its conclusion. Though, you should still definitely be keeping an eye on it. You do have a part to play when it comes to that conclusion, after all.

...Now that you think about it, where's Moondancer?

Right, Moondancer. After your date last month went as well as it did, you made sure to keep in touch. You might live far apart, but that doesn't mean you can't keep in contact via some good old letters, right? You exchange mail pretty much daily, discussing whatever you might think of. You learn more about each other seemingly every day, and it only makes your bond all the stronger. Heck, you've even picked up a few books on basic magical theory. You're still far from being able to have an in-depth conversation about it with your marefriend, but you have to start somewhere, right?

However, today was supposed to be different. After all, Moondancer lives here. Twilight, who frankly supports your new relationship a bit too much, even made sure that you two would get to spend some time together by assigning you the same role in the Princess Procession. You'll need to be at that grand finale together if you want to get your job done properly. It isn't exactly a complicated job (especially compared to what poor Twilight is doing), but it's an important one nonetheless.

And yet, Moondancer is nowhere to be seen.

You pull a folded-up letter out of your pocket. ...Yeah, this is where you're supposed to meet up. The end of the procession is technically on the other side of Canterlot, but this was just a convenient spot considering how close it is to her house. Besides, so long as you avoid the procession's route, you can also avoid the parade and the crowd pretty easily and head straight to the end if you need to. At least, you would if Moondancer were here. Which she isn't.

"Hmm."

You mumble to no one in particular as you think. Moondancer isn't the type to just forget about this, and while she may get nervous easily in social situations, she also isn't the type to leave you hanging on purpose. You feel a tightness begin to form in your chest. Maybe you're just jumping to conclusions, but you can't deny that this seems strange. After a few moments of silent contemplation, you nod to yourself and begin to walk across the now-empty street.

Hopefully she just forgot to set her alarm or something.

You sigh as you knock on the familiar wooden door. You've arrived at Moondancer's house, having no clue where else she might have gone. You wait a few moments, but there is no response. With a tilt of your head, you knock again. Once more, there is no response. You lean to the side to peer through her window. The curtains are closed, but you can tell that the lights are off. Hm. Maybe she isn't home after all? Just for the heck of it, you decide to try the door handle before departing. However, you almost stumble forward as the door actually opens. She wouldn't normally just leave her house unlocked like that, especially if she isn't home.

"Moonie? It's Anon. Are you in here?"

You receive no response. After standing awkwardly in the doorway for a few seconds, you take a deep breath.

"I know you're a bit embarrassed about your house, but I'm coming in anyway. I hope you don't mind!"

You cautiously enter the quiet abode. Sure enough, the lights are all turned off. More than that, the living room is a mess. Granted, you knew she was already a bit disorganized, but even you can see the problem here. A nearby shelf, which had seemingly been mounted on the wall next to the door, has fallen halfway off of said wall, tilting at a downwards angle and dumping the numerous books it was holding up onto the floor below. Said books litter the entire living room, and when combined with the hundreds of books she already had all over the place, the whole house looks like it had been the victim of a terrible natural disaster. You stare silently at the mess. If your marefriend is home, she probably isn't going to like you gawking at what she is almost certainly embarrassed by.

You take a few steps into the house, prepared to begin a proper search for the missing mare. However, after only a few seconds, something peculiar catches your attention. Among the dozens of books littering the floor, one in particular grabs your eye. The book lies open on the carpet, its binding a deep blue color. However, what made you look at it is the faint glow coming off of the exposed pages. When you kneel down to take a closer look at it, you realize that the visible pages themselves cannot actually be read. The paper contained within the book is producing the glow, covering up whatever text might have actually been transcribed on them.

That's... odd.

Without thinking, you reach out to touch the book. This proves to be a mistake, as the instant your fingers make contact with the paper, you feel an intense pulling sensation. It's as if the book itself is tugging on your arm, and to your shock, your hand passes right through the pages. You try to fight the book, doing your best to plant your feet into the carpet below you and back up, but all that does is make it feel like your arm is about to get ripped right out of its socket. After a few more moments of struggling, your leg slips. All at once, your entire body gets pulled to the floor and towards the pages of the book. Then...

You're falling.

You're surrounded on all sides by an endless void of white and yellow magic. The magic shoots past you as you continue to fall farther and farther. You look up, but you can see nothing above you. You look down, and the only thing to greet you is an endless void of magic. You open your mouth to scream, but no sound comes out. Tears fill your eyes as you continue to fall. Questions race through your mind about where you are, how you got there, and what you're going to do next. However, before any of those questions can be answered, your vision goes dark.

And just like that, you lose consciousness.

Your eyes gently flitter open, only to be met with sunlight pouring through a nearby window. You shut your eyes tight once more to shield them from the sun. You realize that you're lying on your stomach, and you awkwardly pull yourself to your knees. You look around, taking in the sight of your apartment around you. The cold, white walls seem uninviting as the morning sun fills the space. You glance at the digital clock sitting next to your mattress. 7:45 AM. Neat.

...

...Wait.

7:45?

...

YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!

You rush to your feet, throw open the nearby closet, and quickly get dressed in your usual school uniform. Now a whirlwind of activity, you put your nice shoes on and book it out of the apartment, a piece of fresh toast held gently in your mouth all the while. You race down the street, your bag loosely hanging from your back as you slowly make your way past the seemingly always-in-bloom cherry blossoms. Finally, on the horizon, you see it. You might make it on time after all!

A few minutes later you slow to a stop, doing your best to catch your breath as you reach the gate. With a smile on your face, you look up at the magnificent building in front of you.

Your name is Anon, and starting today, you're going to be a second year at Ponetsu High School!

...

You blink.

...

You blink again.

...

...Huh?

Apartment?

Cherry blossoms?

High school?

You look down at yourself. Sure enough, you seem to be dressed in a traditional school uniform for Japanese high school boys. It looks a bit odd on you considering you're a grown man and have also never been anywhere near Japan, but that's what it is all right. If it wasn't for the fact that you've read so much manga and watched so much anime in your time, you probably would have no idea what's going on right now.

Actually, scratch that. You STILL have no idea what's going on right now.

You look around. Plenty of students are filing into the school. All of them are ponies, and they're dressed in ponified versions of what you can identify as school uniforms. The stallions look sharp, and the mares even have little dresses that don't really cover anything whatsoever (not that there was anything to cover to begin with). Some say hello to you as they pass by, but most don't pay any attention to you. You start getting flashbacks to your high school years.

Ugh, you feel a headache coming on.

The bell at the school begins to ring, and the students around you hurry into the school building. You look at them with confusion before turning around. However, to your surprise, there isn't a landscape behind you. Instead, it's like a blurry approximation of a town that's not quite there, almost like you're looking through a foggy window. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Turning back to the school, you sigh. You really don't want to do this, but without any other obvious courses of action to take, you slowly make your way into the Japanese-style high school.

Upon entering the school, you look around at the students filing into all of their classrooms. The school has multiple floors, and if your weeb knowledge has taught you anything, it's that the grades are separated by floor. If that knowledge has taught you anything else, it's that if you're meant to be attending this school for whatever reason, you're probably a second year. It's ALWAYS a second year.

Well, considering nopony seems to be objecting at the sight of the grown human man walking through the halls... screw it! You find the closest staircase and ascend to the second floor. Sure enough, you're pretty much immediately greeted by classroom 2-A. Because being in any lettered class other than A would be too much work, wouldn't it?

You slide the door open and step inside. It appears that class has already started. The room of ponies all look at you with fear in their eyes just as the stallion standing next to the chalkboard sees you enter.

"Ah, Mr. Anon. Late on your first day, huh?"

"..."

"So, it's gonna be like that, eh? I don't take kindly to troublemakers, I'll have you know."

"..."

The stallion lets out an aggravated sigh before turning to the class.

"Well class, as you know, Mr. Anon here is a transfer student. He'll be joining you from this day onward." The teacher turns to look at you. "Introduce yourself and take your seat, class has already started."

You turn to the class of high-school-age ponies. This is the most ridiculous scenario you've ever been in, and frankly, you're already fed up with it. You hold a single hand in the air for an unenthusiastic greeting.

"Yo."

The teacher looks at you with fury.

"What kind of a greeting is that?!"

All right, screw this.

Without another word, you turn right around and step out of the class. The teacher begins to yell at you, but you ignore him completely. It's been many years since you graduated high school and you are not doing it again. However, now that you're standing alone in the quiet hallway, you finally have a chance to ponder a few things. How did you get here? Where is here? Why did you get dressed like this, and why are these ponies acting like they know you?

While these thoughts fill your mind, the bell conveniently rings once again. You look up, only to notice that the sunlight coming through a nearby window is suddenly a deep orange color. That would indicate that it's the afternoon, but wasn't it morning just a few seconds ago? Sure enough, students pour out of the many classrooms nearby, happily chatting amongst themselves as though the day is over. They pay you no mind as they go about their business. You can do nothing but stand there in complete disbelief at the utter ridiculousness of the events transpiring around you. This is a dream, right? It has to be. What else could possibly be going on here?

Your thoughts are interrupted by something bumping into you from behind. You turn around, and you're immediately greeted by a short unicorn mare looking up at you nervously. Her mane is tied up messily, her large glasses are barely hanging onto her face, and her horn gently glows as she carries a large stack of papers in front of her. Said papers are piled so high, she couldn't see where she was going and ran right into you.

"O-oh! Sorry senpai, I need to get these worksheets to Mr. Norooka right away!" The mare blushes and looks away from you before trying to get around you. However, you quickly move to prevent her from doing so. "S-senpai?"

"...Moonie?"

"Huh?! 'M-Moonie?!'"

The mare blushes even deeper, and in her efforts to hide her growing embarrassment, she drops the stack of papers. You finally get a good look at her in her entirety. She's dressed in a school uniform, but there can be no mistake.

This student is Moondancer.

"What are you doing, Moonie? Where are we? What's going on?"

"What are you talking about, senpai? I just said I was trying to get these documents to Mr. Norooka! And what do you mean, 'where are we?' We're at school. You know, Ponetsu High School? Where else would we be?"

"Umm, in Canterlot? Doing our job at the Princess Procession?"

"Princess Procession? Senpai, what are you talking about?"

"You know, the big parade thing where the princesses do that whole... whatever it is they do?"

"...Not ringing a bell."

"And why do you keep calling me 'senpai?'"

"B-because you're my senpai, of course!"

She looks away from you in embarrassment once more. You roll your eyes. You're tired of this charade. Without warning, you bend over and pick Moondancer up, effortlessly lifting her into the air to look her in the eyes.

"Moondancer. We are both fully grown adults. We haven't gone to high school in years. Neither of us are Japanese. I'm not even a pony. So, I'll ask again. Where are we?!"

Moondancer stares at you for a couple of seconds with confusion on her face. However, all at once, her eyes seem to shine. She blinks, then she blinks again. After that, she shakes her head violently. When she looks back at you once more, there is a renewed clarity to her expression.

"...Oh no."

"Moonie?"

"H-hi, Nonny."

"What's going on?"

"Uhhhhhh, ehehe, about that..."

You narrow your eyes at Moondancer. The events that transpired before you woke up in that apartment are now much clearer in your mind.

"Moondancer?"

"Y-yes, Nonny?"

"Are we in an enchanted manga?"

"...Maybe?"

Moondancer gives you an extremely forced, guilty looking smile.

"Why do you even have one of those?"

"It was an experimental copy, all right?! The enchanted comic store didn't know what to do with it, and I made sure to get my hooves on it. It's a collector's item, for Celestia's sake!"

"And why did you open it during the procession?!"

"I didn't! I was trying to get my book about the procession off of my shelf so I could review what we're supposed to do, but the book got stuck and I pulled too hard and the shelf fell! Then the manga landed at my hooves and... here I was!"

You stare at her for a moment in disbelief. You briefly consider saying something a bit rude, but you quickly brush that thought aside. This was clearly an accident, after all. She probably feels incredibly guilty as-is. No need to make her feel worse about it.

"Ugh, this sucks. Isn't the whole point of these enchanted comics that we have to live through the story of the main cast?"

"That's typically how it works, yes. It's a very niche hobby, and usually reserved for only the biggest of comic superfans."

"And what manga are we in that we have to live through?"

Moondancer blushes even harder and looks away for a third time. You simply stare at her while she does so. After a few moments of awkward silence, she squeaks out an answer.

"Poni Can't Communicate?"

"...That manga about the two high schoolers that's infamous for how insanely long it takes for the lead couple's relationship to go anywhere?"

"That's the one."

"..." You stare at Moondancer for a moment before sighing. "Good thing we're smarter than them, right?"

"What do you mmmmmm?!"

Moondancer is cut off by you suddenly pressing your lips against hers. She's a bit too shocked to respond properly, and you pull away just as quickly as you started it.

"There. Storyline resolved. Can we go home now?"

You weren't speaking to Moondancer so much as you were speaking to the world around you. Unfortunately, it doesn't respond.

"...It's not that simple." She has to force her words out through her embarrassment.

"Then what do we have to do?"

"We have to go through all of the major story beats before the manga considers itself completed."

"W-wait. The whole story?"

"That's typically the case, yes."

"But we don't have TIME for a slow burn romance! The Princess Procession is going on as we speak, and if we aren't there when it comes to an end, we are going to be in so much trouble!"

"I-I know!"

"So what do we do?!"

Moondancer looks at you for a couple of seconds. Suddenly, she closes her eyes. Over the course of the next few moments, she takes deep breaths. As her breathing steadies and she begins to calm down, you find yourself doing the same.

"We'll just have to speedrun this romance."

"Like, get through the manga as quickly as possible?"

"That's the only thing I can think of."

"..." You look at her for a moment. She gives you a look of focus and understanding. After taking one more deep breath, you nod at her. "All right. This seems really, really stupid, but I guess we don't have a choice."

"Right. Now then, let's head to the roof."

"The roof? Why?"

"So we can share a boxed lunch I made for you."

"Wow. How... cliché."

"This manga is nothing but clichés. Hopefully that'll make our job easier." Without hesitation, Moondancer turns around and heads for a nearby staircase. "Now come on, we've got no time to lose!"

"C-coming!"

The two of you begin to ascend the stairs, your minds racing as you do so. It's a lot to take in, and the pressure of your strict time limit isn't doing you any favors. Indeed, your relationship could very well rely on whether or not you make it to the end of the procession in time. Meanwhile, as you fiddle with your Japanese high school uniform and make your way up the staircase, you've never felt more uncomfortable.

This is going to be really dumb, isn't it?

The Part Where They Dramatically Trip and Almost Kiss

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The Part Where They Go to the Beach

You and your marefriend hesitantly walk out onto the hot sand. You have to raise an arm to cover the blinding light of the sun, and you see Moondancer doing the same. Slowly but surely, you make your way towards the coastline.

"I've never been a big fan of beach arcs. They're almost invariably filler, and it seems like every manga feels the need to have one at some point."

You chuckle.

"I don't know, I think they're cute. Gives you time to appreciate the characters in a more laid-back setting than is typical."

"More laid back than a slice of life manga already is?"

"Hey, you never know. After all, you just said they're usually filler. Since you don't have to worry about the will-they-won't-they, you get to relax as a reader about as much as the characters do in the story."

"But what if I want the will-they-won't-they? What if I want them to just get on with it?"

"You mean, kinda like we're doing right now?"

"Yes, exactly!"

"Speaking of, how long has it been?"

"Dunno. Time is technically progressing normally in the real world while we're in here, but the lack of a consistent sense of time or space makes it difficult to judge."

"So we should probably just assume we're running late and get a move on."

Moondancer sighs.

"I guess."

"Hm? What's the matter?"

"N-nothing. Let's go get waist-deep in the water, weakly splash each other for two panels, and then never get into the water again."

"Uh, sure. If you say so."

The two of you do exactly that. The water is surprisingly refreshing, considering it isn't real. You lightly splash at Moondancer, and despite how silly and forced it feels, you can't quite get the smile to leave your face.

"H-hey! Watch the glasses!"

"Haha! I'm just doing what you told me to!"

"You jerk!"

Moondancer splashes you as hard as she can, resulting in you getting completely drenched. The next thing you know, you're both laughing and having a wonderful time together in the water. Perhaps splashing each other is as enjoyable as manga makes it out to be.

Eventually, you both come to your senses and start to settle down. Moondancer is the first to make her way back out of the water.

"Jeez, the heat hits you immediately when you're not in there anymore."

"I'm surprised an enchantment can do all of this," you say as you start to get out of the water yourself.

"A-Anon, don't!"

"Huh?"

You emerge from the water, stopping when you're only about ankle-deep. You look at Moondancer with confusion as she quickly turns around, her face red as a beet.

"Seriously?! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you hadn't read a manga before!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"Your trunks!"

"..."

Wait. She doesn't mean...

Oh dear. Yes she does.

You quickly make your way back into the water, stopping only when you're about chest deep and adequately covered up. After doing so, you immediately begin to feel around along the sand and rock below you. Meanwhile, Moondancer continues to awkwardly stand in place while looking the other direction. Ordinarily you would ask her to help you to speed the process along, but luckily for you, you're in a manga. As a result, it doesn't take too long for you to find your missing pride.

With the trunks back where they belong, you exit the water once more. The hot air is noticeably less drafty now. You awkwardly clear your throat, unsure of what to say next.

"Well... that's one more trope down, I suppose," she mumbles, finally gathering the courage to look at you again.

"...Can we just not speak about it ever again?"

"I won't if you don't."

"Deal."

Moondancer laughs, doing her best to shrug off the awkward vibes.

"So, we've got two typical beach activities down. What's next, I wonder?"

You glance around at the beach. A few ponies are doing their own thing here and there, suspiciously (and somewhat uncannily) lacking any distinctive features. However, for the most part, the beach is sparsely populated. As you think this to yourself, you notice a few unoccupied towels laid out on the sand. They coincidentally have Moondancer's cutie mark stitched into them.

"I'd say right over there is a good start. What do we need that many towels for, though?"

Moondancer follows your gaze, seeing the beach towels for herself. She narrows her eyes for a moment as she apparently gets lost in thought, but she suddenly gasps before looking around.

"Is there a... yes, there is!" Her eyes lock onto a nearby stand of some kind. It appears to be selling assorted fruits. "Go stand over by the towels, I'll be right back!"

"Uhh, okay."

You do just that, and a few moments later, Moondancer excitedly runs up to you. Her horn is glowing, and in her magical grasp is a particularly large watermelon and a baseball bat.

"Ohhhhh, we're doing that. W-wait, where did you get the bat?"

Moondancer looks at the bat with confusion, apparently having only just noticed it.

"I have no idea."

"...Well, it doesn't matter I guess. Let's do this. Er, wait, aren't we supposed to do it blindfolded?"

"Yeah, and then you get dizzy and try to hit it. It's like a piñata."

"R-right, I was just wondering where we were going to get a blindfold."

"Uhh... do you have it?"

"Why would I have it?"

"I don't know, I had a bat!"

"Fair point, I guess." You look down at your person. Considering all you're wearing are your trunks and sandals, there are only so many places to look. Sure enough though, you find a thin piece of cloth in one of your pockets. "Huh. What do you know?"

"Which of us should go first?"

You shrug.

"I don't really care, to be honest. We just need to keep up the pace."

Moondancer's expression hardens. She glances away from you briefly before locking eyes with you once more.

"Yeah. Just put the blindfold on me, I guess."

Her voice is noticeably lacking the energy it had mere seconds ago.

"Moonie? You okay?"

"I'm alright. Just blindfold me, dude."

"W-well, if you say so." You do your best to get the blindfold around her eyes without causing too much discomfort. After a moment, she seems well and truly blind. "Is that okay?"

"It's perfect. Thanks. Now, spin me!"

You chuckle as you start to spin her around and around in a circle. After a few moments, you stop her dead in her tracks facing the direction of the melon.

"Alright, you're good to go."

Moondancer attempts to take a few steps forward, but it's clear that she has completely lost her sense of balance. In fact, after only a couple of steps, she's going off in the wrong direction completely. You carefully approach her from behind, gently grasp her by her sides, and point her back in the right direction.

"Uhh, hehe. Thanks."

She takes a couple more steps forward, and her hooves finally find their place on the towels. After three more hesitant steps, she stops. Taking a deep breath, she winds up, bringing the bat high above her head before it comes crashing down.

Aaaaaaaaaand she misses the melon by a solid four feet.

"Dang it."

"Haha! It was a nice try, though."

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, wise guy."

Her voice is sarcastic, yet playful as she removes her blindfold and throws it at you. It smacks against your chest before you smile back at her and begin putting it on, blinding yourself completely.

"This blindfold is better than I thought."

"You'd better not be cheating under there!"

"I'm not, I'm not!"

To make sure, Moondancer tightens the blindfold to an almost painful degree. After that, she starts to spin you around and around using her magic. Sure enough, it proves to be extremely disorienting, and you quickly lose track of which way you're facing. After a few seconds, however, she finally stops you.

"You're up, Nonny."

"Here goes nothing."

You take a single step forward and nearly fall flat on your face. Thankfully you do manage to catch yourself, but you have no idea if you're going the right way anymore. With a great deal of hesitation you take one more step forward, then another. You slowly get into a shaky, dizzy groove, and eventually you feel the texture of the ground change beneath you, indicating that you're close to your target.

With a shrug and a deep breath, you bring the bat above your head. With one powerful swing, you feel the bat slam into something that crumples beneath its weight. You're caught completely off guard by this, causing you to stumble backwards and fall onto the sand behind you. Removing the blindfold, you see that you did, in fact, hit the melon. Standing a bit to the side is a very excited-looking Moondancer.

"You did it!"

"I guess I did. Huh."

Getting back to your feet with a bit of difficulty, you regroup with your marefriend on the towels. She eagerly uses her magic to pick up a piece of melon and places it in your hands before grabbing a piece of her own. With a shared smile, you both take a bite.

...Before promptly spitting it out. Again, food has no taste here, as it isn't real. Plus, the texture is goopy and weird. Ugh.

You and Moondancer share a look of disgust, which quickly turns into a couple of grins, which then in turn becomes a laughing fit.

"How did we end up in this situation?!"

"I thought we were going to spend all day at a parade, not choking on fake melon at the beach! Haha!"

You laugh harder, slowly losing the ability to even speak properly. The utter ridiculousness of everything going on is getting to you, but at least it's a nice bit of fun. Even if you have places to be.

It takes a few minutes for the two of you to regain your composure. When you do, you share one more warm smile.

"I'd say this beach arc is about done, eh?"

You nod your head in the direction of the water. The sun is beginning to set over it, painting the beach in a brilliant orange-yellow glow.

"I suppose so," Moondancer mumbles. You can't help but notice a twinge of sadness in her voice. "I guess we should get going, huh?"

"...Moonie?"

"Hm?"

"Have you... never been to the beach before?"

Moondancer glances away from you, a slight pink tint beginning to find its way to her cheeks.

"I, er, don't really get out much," she says, her voice nearly a whisper. "You're a good excuse for me to leave the house, but to tell you the truth, I barely ever leave Canterlot. I just... don't have the motivation, I guess."

You look Moondancer over as the two of you slowly walk back in the direction you came from when you first arrived at this beach. The school is long gone, having been replaced by a normal-looking road. You just have to hope it takes you to where you need to go next this time, too. However, you push that concern from your mind, as your marefriend is currently hanging her head down low.

"Moonie."

"Hm?" She doesn't look up.

"When all of this is over, and the weather gets a bit warmer... let's go to a beach together. A real one."

That gets her attention. She looks up at you, a mixture of confusion, surprise, and hope in her eyes.

"Really?"

"Sure, why not? I know we're in a rush, but this was pretty fun, all things considered. I'd love to get to do this with you again. And without a time crunch, too! Or, you know, tasteless mush pretending to be watermelon."

Moondancer looks at you with interest before letting out a small chuckle.

"Th-thank you, Nonny. I'd love to."

"Oh, and I think I'd enjoy a chance to see you wearing something like that again. You look great in it."

Moondancer's face immediately goes completely red, and you find yourself receiving a light smack across the cheek thanks to her magic.

"Sh-shut up!"

She may sound angry, but it's clear that she's hiding a smile. You laugh as the two of you continue to walk. It almost causes you to not realize that the scenery has changed once again.

The first thing that hits you is the smell. It smells... odd. A strange mixture of sweet and savory scents fills your nostrils, causing you to look away from Moondancer and towards your surroundings. No longer are you walking across a beach at sunset. Instead, you appear to be standing in front of Ponetsu High School once more. However, the school looks vastly different than it did just a short while ago. Banners are strung up all over the place, students and adults alike are walking to and fro, and the sheer number of colors and sounds makes it clear that some sort of event is going on.

"Wow, didn't think we'd get to the cultural festival arc so soon."

"You know, we never had these at my school. Granted, I'm not Japanese, but it would have been neat to experience, I think."

"Same here. All we had were hoofball rallies."

"Football for me."

"...Well, we're here now. Soooooooo-"

"Sure, Moonie. Let's take a look around. We still can't hang around for too long, but I suppose we'll probably never get another chance to do something like this again, huh?"

"Considering enchanted comics are one-use-per-pony only, no, I'd say we won't. Now come on, I want to try some taiyaki!"

Moondancer begins to trot ahead of you enthusiastically, and all you can do is follow closely behind her and shout as she gets lost in her excitement.

"We won't be able to taste it, though!"

The Part Where They Go to the Cultural Festival

You look at Moondancer with amusement. She pouts and looks down at the small basket filled with taiyaki, a single one missing a bite-sized piece.

"Well? How was it?"

"Sh-shut up."

"I tried to warn ya."

"Well can you blame me for being excited?!"

Moondancer makes a show of throwing the basket into the trash and looking away from you, the adorable pout never leaving her face. Meanwhile, the stallion standing behind the taiyaki stand (which was apparently set up by class 1-C) visibly takes offense.

"Why don't we find something else to do? Something that doesn't involve mush-food?"

"Sure, though we'd better get a move on. Not only are we on the clock, this is a pretty big school. Also, darn near every single stall I saw on the way in was a food stall."

"Let's try a different floor, then."

You share a nod before heading to a nearby staircase. It's difficult to navigate the halls, what with all of the stuff and the sheer number of visitors, but you eventually manage to make it up to the second floor.

"You know, just once I'd like to see a high school where the second floor is for the third years."

"I imagine that would get confusing for the readers. It's intuitive to have the grades match up with the floor they're on."

"It might be intuitive, but it's not very original."

"Originality might be nice, but tropes are tropes for a reason. They work. No need to break away from the norm if it makes things harder on the reader."

"Perhaps. I just like seeing something different every once in a while, you know? I mean, come on. Look at this." You pat a stallion walking past you, and he doesn't even register it. You do the same for a mare walking behind him, and she too doesn't react. Another stallion, this one being one of the "classmates" of yours from earlier, starts to walk by. You give him a hearty smack on the back, and he doesn't even look in your direction. "Nopony here besides us matters. They're no different than set dressing until it's time for the plot to make them relevant for the sake of a joke."

"What, do you expect every single background character to have an in-depth backstory?"

"That's how real life works."

"And this isn't real life. Do you know the names and backstories of every single pony in Ponyville?"

"...I refuse to answer that."

Cough.

"Anyway, as riveting as this discussion is, I'm not seeing much more up here beyond food either."

"That is usually how it goes in manga, isn't it? The food is usually a big draw. There might be a montage of some other stuff, but usually the only other major plot point to happen during the cultural festival is the part where-"

"Ah, Anon! There you are!"

"H-huh?"

You find yourself getting interrupted by a short mare wearing what seems to be a French maid outfit.

"It's almost time for your shift! Come on!"

The mare grabs you and starts to pull with much more strength than she appears to be capable of. The next thing you know, you've been yanked into Class 2-A. The whole room appears to be this class's designated space instead of having a stall outside. Somehow, despite the fact that it's a classroom, it seems to have been completely transformed into a dining space. Several small tables are set up around the room, and about a third of the room in the back is screened off. The walls have been covered in posters and iconography of mares dressed up as maids, many of which are clumsily serving food.

...Oh. Oh dear.

"Wh-what exactly do you mean by 'my shift?'"

"Everypony in 2-A has to participate, Anon! That includes you! And since you didn't want to help out the other stallions with setting up the classroom last night, you get to be one of the servers!"

"But we're the only ones here."

"Yeah, and my shift is up! So get changed!"

Your "classmate" produces a small bundle of black-and-white clothing from seemingly nowhere and throws it at you before forcefully shoving you behind the screened-off section of the room. You sigh as you look at the bundle in your arms.

You're not getting out of this, are you?

A few minutes later, you step out from behind the screen. Your classmate has already left, but that doesn't mean you're alone in here. In fact, it's quite the opposite. While mere minutes ago this room was empty in terms of visitors, now every single table is filled with ponies waiting impatiently for their waiter. Which... you suppose is you.

You look down at yourself. As demeaning as it is to be dressed as a maid, at least they had the courtesy to give you one made for your human body. You can feel your face becoming more and more flushed as all eyes in the room turn to you, a few small giggles and snickers audible in the otherwise quiet room. With a sigh, you grab some menus from a nearby stack and begin visiting the tables one by one. Some ponies order drinks and the sort, but thankfully, all you have to offer is tasteless tap water, so it's easy to remember what they want.

Finally, you reach the last table. It's a smaller table, and a single mare sits there all on her own. Moondancer does her utmost to contain her laughter, but she is having a very difficult time doing that.

"You know what, Nonny? Getting stuck in this manga was worth it for this moment alone!"

"..."

"I mean seriously, look at you! They didn't even bother to give you a butler's outfit or anything! Haha!"

There are tears in her eyes now as she lightly stomps her hooves on the floor below in delight. You just stare at her, doing your best to retain what little pride you have left.

"Can I take your order?" You slide her a menu as you ask your question through gritted teeth.

"Ahahaha, haaaaaaa... alright, let's see what you've got here."

Moondancer looks down at the menu. Apart from the complete lack of beverages, there are a few different food options available. They are, of course, all microwavable behind that screen over there, but it's technically food nonetheless. Besides, the food isn't really the draw of this place, is it?

You are.

"I think I'll have the takoyaki."

"Sure, I'll go get that for you."

You begin to turn around, but you're stopped in place by Moondancer's magic.

"Bup bup bup! That's not how a maid is supposed to respond to their master~!"

You turn back to look at Moondancer. She visibly winces when she sees the expression on your face.

"...I'll go get your takoyaki." Your turn around completely, not backing down from Moondancer's gaze as you look her directly in the eyes. If looks could kill, she'd probably die. "Master."

Your voice is cold. Moondancer breaks eye contact first, a cold sweat starting to appear on her brow... and a slight redness starting to appear on her cheeks, for some reason? You take that as your queue to retreat behind the screen. You didn't even bother taking anypony else's orders. After all, they aren't real, and you doubt they're important to the plot that you're oh-so-desperate to wrap up, both because you need to escape from the enchantment and because you want to take this ridiculous getup off.

You find a frozen pack of takoyaki and unenthusiastically pop it into the microwave. As you do so, you notice that there is a limited assortment of other ingredients next to the microwave. You aren't really one for mischief, but you start to get an idea.

A few minutes later, the microwave dings. You remove the takoyaki and get to work. After a few moments, you feel satisfied with what you've made. You step out from behind the screen and start to make your way towards Moondancer's table. Some other patrons start to object, but you ignore them completely.

When you arrive at the table, Moondancer looks up at you with excitement. You give her an ominous smile.

"Here is your takoyaki, master. I worked really hard on it, so I hope I didn't mess anything up."

You place the finely decorated food in front of Moondancer, who seems shocked at your demeanor. However, this shock quickly changes focus, as she is thrown through a loop by how appetizing you ended up making her microwaved meal look.

"Wow, this actually looks delicious!"

"Nothing less than perfection for my master."

"...You're starting to creep me out, not gonna lie. Still, it'd be a waste to not try out the fruits of your labor!"

With a smile, Moondancer excitedly grabs a piece of takoyaki and bites into it.

She promptly spits it out onto the floor, causing you to erupt in boisterous laughter.

"I can't believe you fell for that!"

Moondancer blushes once again in embarrassment.

"How do I keep forgetting?!"

"Probably because I did everything in my power to make you forget that it's not real food!" As you laugh, you confidently turn around and dip behind the screen one more time. When you reemerge a little while later, you're back in your normal outfit. "Now come on, I think we're done here."

"Ugh, fiiiiiine."

With that, the two of you depart from the classroom. However, you're both caught completely off guard by what awaits you outside. No longer is there a cultural festival going on around you. No longer is the air filled with interesting smells or the sound of laughter. No longer are you even inside of Ponetsu High School. No, instead, you seem to have emerged into the open air of a small mountain village.

Snow gently begins to fall onto the two of you, and you're immediately hit by an intense, frigid wind. It seems kind of unfair that the food doesn't taste real but the uncomfortable weather gets to feel real, but you digress. The sun has already set, and the moon hangs brightly in the sky above you. Mountains surround you on all sides, and although there are a few small houses darted around here and there, the main draw of this setting is obviously the long, single-story building directly in front of you. A quick glance to your right reveals a well-maintained sign that's only somewhat obscured by the snow.

Pokkaido Inn - Hot Springs Available

"...Ah," the two of you say in unison. "The hot springs arc."

You share a glance before turning back towards the building.

"As much as I would like to argue," you mumble, "it's really freaking cold out here."

"Agreed. These arcs tend to bore the heck out of me, but if we have to do it, we have to do it. If I had to guess, I'd say we have maybe an hour until the end of the Princess Procession."

"Yeah, let's get a move on." The two of you begin to quickly make your way towards the building, doing your best to hide how uncomfortable the cold is making you. "Though I'll admit, I've always wanted to visit a hot spring."

"Same here. Hopefully we'll actually be able to feel the not-real water."

With a mixture of time-limit-induced anxiety and hot-spring-fueled excitement, you and your marefriend prepare yourselves for the next leg of this strange, rushed journey.

The Part Where They Visit a Hot Spring

You stretch out your back against the warm rock behind you. Your eyes are closed and your hands are behind your head, but once you hear your back finally pop, you place your hands back into the delightfully warm water of the hot spring. A sigh escapes you as you allow yourself to relax, even if only for a little while.

You open your eyes, taking in the area around you. It's an open-air hot spring, and the gentle snowfall continues into the night. However, the steam from the hot spring, combined with the walls on all sides blocking out the wind, means that so long as you're sitting in the water, you're extremely comfortable.

The spring itself is lined with smooth stone, and a few larger stones stick out of the water in some places. The thick wooden walls on all sides make up the rest of the inn, and there are an assortment of racks and barrels for storing things and keeping things dry. Towels are available all over the place, and you're using one yourself to remain covered up (even if the water itself does a fine job of doing so).

You aren't alone in the spring, either. A group of other stallions are standing around here and there. Some chat amongst each other, some are a bit more rowdy than they probably should be, and some are trying to quietly enjoy the sensation, much like yourself. You recognize these stallions as your "classmates." As you and Moondancer learned upon entering the inn, it seems that the manga's story dictates that you have come here as part of a school trip. Not quite the private, romantic getaway you, er, might have been hoping for, but at least you get to experience it in some form.

You glance over to the far end of the hot spring. A massive wooden wall cuts through the area, easily fifteen feet tall. You may not have ever been to a hot spring before, but you've read more than enough manga to know that on the other side of that wall, the mares are enjoying their half of the hot spring.

You quietly smile to yourself. You hope Moondancer is enjoying this as much as you are. You begin to close your eyes again, but before you can, your attention is grabbed by a group of your "classmates" approaching you in the water, clearly making a conscious effort to remain quiet.

"Hey, Anon!" One of the stallions leans in close to whisper to you. He also has a towel wrapped around himself, as do the rest of the stallions, but you're not really sure why. Ponies don't usually wear clothes anyway, so what are they trying to cover up? "Got a minute?"

You give the stallion an uninterested look.

"Why?"

"Your height could be really useful, you know!"

"...Excuse me?"

The stallion nods his head to the side, clearly gesturing towards the large wall separating the stallions from the mares.

"C'mon, don't you want a peek, too?"

"I'm sorry, 'a peek?'"

"Yeah! You know, at the girls! They're right there! If we support each other on our shoulders, we could easily peek over that wall!"

You look at the stallion with a mixture of confusion and disgust. Meanwhile, he just beams at you.

"No. Absolutely not."

"Aww, why not? I know you have the hots for Moondancer!"

"My relationship with Moondancer is none of your concern. Plus," you say as you pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance, "I'm not a disgusting pig like you."

"You're telling me you've never considered getting a good look at-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, because the answer is no. I actually have these things called a 'moral compass' and 'basic respect for others.' You should try them some time."

"Pfft. Whatever, dude. Just don't be mad when we succeed!"

With that, the group of stallions saunters off, apparently to recruit some more of their classmates to the cause. Ugh. Teenagers. How gross can you be? Even if they did manage to look over the wall, there's nothing to see! Are you the only one who is aware of the fact that ponies don't normally wear clothes? Because you feel like you're going crazy.

Trying to push the matter out of your mind, you close your eyes, do your best to focus on the moment, and return to your relaxation. A few minutes later, however, you are once again forced to look up from your state of peace due to an unexpected sound.

Sure enough, four of the stallions have grouped up next to the wall and trying to precariously balance on one another to reach the height necessary to look over said wall. You narrow your eyes as they do so. The rocks beneath them are slick, and their hooves are still wet, too. If they keep trying this, they're going to-

SLAM.

...Fall.

"Ha ha!"

You mock the group. They deserve no better. You receive a few spiteful stares before the stallions manage to recompose themselves. To your surprise, they immediately start to try again. They fall a second time, but they did a bit better that attempt. Seconds later, they're already trying again. They're, uh, getting really good at this really quickly, aren't they? They might actually succeed.

What are they even trying to accomplish? What will they see, Moondancer in her everyday appearance but sitting in a hot spring? Yeah, sure, go ahead and ogle that all you want, you pervs.

...

...Ugh. The more you think about it, the more the idea of them peeping on Moondancer, whether there is any point to it or not, makes your blood boil. You look up at the ridiculous stack of stallions, now three ponies high. One more and they'll be able to see over the wall. With a sigh you finally emerge from the water, making sure to keep your towel for decency as you make your way over to the wall. The stallion struggling on the bottom greets you with a cocky smile.

"What, did you finally decide to join us? Check it out, we're almost there!" The stallion struggles to look up, but you see the last stallion needed to reach the top of the wall almost on the third pony's shoulders. You look back down at the stallion, who just smiles at you. You give him a cold glare before rolling your right shoulder. "Hey, you feeling alright dude? You look kinda mad."

You say nothing. The stallion's eyes go wide as you wind yourself up. Then, all at once, you punch the stallion with all of your might directly in the face. The stallion, who was struggling to support the weight of three other ponies, goes flying several feet backwards, and the other stallions in the stack also end up going every possible direction but up. Four distinct thuds are heard as they all hit the rock below.

You're pretty sure it's the manga that gave you the strength to do that. Your right hook is NOT that impressive in real life.

Either way, the stallions all look at you with a defeated expression. They look like they want to say something, but they are too afraid to do so. Instead, you simply walk back towards the door that you entered the hot spring from, whistling loudly enough for the mares on the other side of the wall (Moondancer specifically) to hear you as you do so.

It's time the two of you moved on.

You and Moondancer slowly walk through the old, wooden hallways of the inn. Since everypony else is still in the hot springs, you have pretty much the rest of the inn to yourselves.

"So? How did you like the hot spring?"

"It was pretty enjoyable," she responds, "but to be honest, I think it'd be better if I wasn't surrounded by a bunch of mares talking about their boyfriends the whole time."

"Wait, really? That's all they did?"

"Ever heard of the Bechdel Test?"

"I have."

"Good. Because a lot of manga do not pass it." She sighs. "This one included, apparently. Anyway, what about you?"

"My experience was about the same. Very relaxing, until I was reminded that my 'classmates' are with me. Only they weren't talking about their marefriends."

"Let me guess. They were trying to peep on us?"

"Eeyup."

"Did you join them? Usually the male protagonist gets roped into it one way or another."

"Aw, come on Moondancer, have some more faith in me than that. I actively stopped them from doing it."

"How so?"

"Right hook."

"Really? Last I checked, your right hook is NOT that impressive."

"I know, right? Manga logic, I guess. That punch panel would probably have a lot more detail than the rest of the chapter, I imagine."

"Hmhm, you're probably right! Still, thanks, I guess. I'm not really sure I'd appreciate getting ogled, regardless of if the ponies doing it were real or not. Though I think I'd be okay if it was just you."

"Hm?"

"Nothing!"

"...Well, I'm not sure I'd appreciate them ogling you, either. A-anyway," you say as you attempt to change the subject while both of your cheeks get a bit red, "what do we do next?"

"Normally there's an overnight sort of thing that happens during these hot springs arcs, but we don't really have time for that, do we?"

"No, no we do not. I guess we just have to hope that we find some other trope to run into instead."

As if on queue, the two of you turn a corner into one of the rooms that you were allotted. You both share a glance as you recognize what you see in the middle of the empty space. It's a small table, somewhat close to the ground with a very large blanket draped over it and a bowl of oranges resting on top of it. You smile at each other and end up saying what you're both thinking simultaneously.

"Kotatsu scene."

Without any hesitation, you both practically throw yourselves onto the floor on opposite sides of the table. You tuck your lower bodies beneath the table and rest your upper bodies on top of it, relishing in the comfort that the heat provided by the lamp hidden beneath the table provides. After all, once you stepped out of the hot springs, it got cold again very fast.

"Ahhhhhh... this thing is great." Moondancer closes her eyes in satisfaction.

"Yeah," you reply, "I've always wanted to try one of these."

"I think there's a store in Canterlot that sells them, but Celestia knows I can't afford one."

"Maybe we can both pitch in to buy one some day." You close your eyes as well, content to just enjoy the moment.

"...You know what, Nonny?"

"What's up?"

"Even if we end up missing the Princess Procession and embarrassing ourselves in front of the nation and then possibly getting punished by the most powerful figures in the country... I'm glad we're here. It's been fun."

You let out a long, contented sigh.

"Maybe it's just the kotatsu talking, but I feel the same way. Looking back, this has been a great time. I've just been so stressed out about our time limit that I wasn't really thinking about it."

Moondancer smiles, though she doesn't open her eyes.

"It's strange, really."

"Hm?"

"We really haven't been dating for all that long, but I feel like I know you so much better than anypony I've ever met. I just feel... I don't know, relaxed around you, I guess? I don't know how else to put it."

"I feel the same way, Moonie." You playfully nudge her leg beneath the table, causing her to accidentally snort in amusement. "I wish we could see each other more. It sucks that we both have reasons to be tied down to our hometowns."

"Hey, maybe if Twilight takes Celestia's job one day, you'll get to live here in Canterlot, too."

"It's a nice thought, but what are the odds of that?"

"I don't know, but... somehow, I feel like we'll be able to make this work."

"Well, if nothing else, I'll be doing my best to make that happen. I want this to work. I want to be around you more."

"Dude, all the time that I spend not with you, I spend wishing I was with you. Er, is that clingy of me to say?"

"Only if it's clingy for me to say I agree."

"R-really?" Her face goes beet red, and you find your own doing the same. "Th-that's good."

You both struggle to find any other words to say. You sit there for a few more quiet moments, your eyes closed as you just take it all in. After a little while, you feel Moondancer's hooves on your hands. Immediately following that, you feel yourself being gently pulled towards her via magic. You practically have to force your eyes open, and you do so just in time to see her own eyes, inches from your own, close voluntarily as she gently presses her lips against yours. You return the gesture, making sure to hold her hooves just a little bit tighter as you do so. In that moment, you wonder if you even care about the Princess Procession all that much anymore.

...

However, when you finally back away from Moondancer and open your eyes, you're caught off guard by what you see. You both gasp at the environment now surrounding you, the brightness of it immediately causing you to recoil. Although you're still under the kotatsu, the small inn room has disappeared, leaving the two of you stranded in a white void.

"Wh-what? Moonie, where are we?"

"I have no idea."

Hesitantly, you emerge from the kotatsu. You hate to leave that warmth behind, but if you don't do so now, you might never want to leave. As soon as you're both free from its clutches, it disappears right in front of you, leaving the two of you alone in the endless expanse of white.

Suddenly, the whiteness seems to get brighter. After a few seconds, you have to shield your eyes from the light hitting you from every possible direction.

"What's going on?! What comes after the hot spring?"

"Argh, dang it! I totally forgot!"

"What?"

"Poni Can't Communicate isn't finished yet! We've reached the end of the manga!"

"Wait, so now what? Do we get to go home?"

"I-I don't know! This is the only enchanted manga out there, remember? I have no idea what's happening!"

The light continues to grow in intensity, and it feels as though a wind is hitting you from every direction at the same time. Unsure of what else to do, you use your free hand to grab onto Moondancer. You kneel down and pull her towards yourself, being sure to hold her tight. In response, she holds onto you just as much. The wind gets louder and louder, the sound drowning out even your own thoughts. It continues to increase in intensity, and it feels as though your body is about to get turned inside out.

Then, all at once, everything stops.

The Part Where They Live Happily Ever After

"Hey, Nonny?"

"Y-yeah?"

"You can let go of me now."

You open your eyes. There isn't much light around you anymore. In fact, it seems rather dark. The scent of paper and dust fills your nostrils as you look down at Moondancer, who you are still clutching tightly to your chest. You promptly let go of her and stand back up.

"Sorry."

"No no, you're fine. Just... another time." Your marefriend blushes and looks away from you before excitedly gasping. "We're back!"

"We are?"

Your eyes slowly adjust to the new level of visibility. Sure enough, you seem to be surrounded by the disorganized mess that is Moondancer's living room, broken shelf and all. The manga that you had been sucked into lies dormant at your feet, and you take a nervous step back. You know that it supposedly only works once per person/pony, but you don't want to risk it.

"Looks like reaching the end of the manga let us out. To my knowledge, it isn't supposed to be that jarring or terrifying, though."

You let out a deep breath, relishing in the fact that you're back home one way or another.

"Either way, we made it out. Mission accomplished, I'd say."

"Not yet, Nonny! We still have to make it to the Princess Procession!"

"Right! What time is it?!"

Moondancer uses her magic to move a stack of books near a wall, revealing a clock hanging on said wall behind them.

"We've only got five minutes!"

"Let's move!"

Without hesitation, you book it out of Moondancer's humble abode. Moondancer looks around in confusion for a moment, but she quickly starts following your lead as you head down the street and begin to weave through a number of alleyways.

"I didn't know you were this well-informed about the layout of Canterlot!"

"I wasn't until I started getting ready for the procession! I wanted to find a route that avoided all of the crowds!"

"Why, for instances like this?!"

"No, because I wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible!"

"Nonny, if we weren't sprinting for our lives right now, I'd probably swoon."

"Aw, thanks!"

The two of you finally emerge onto a street that is full of ponies. However, that crowd is about fifty feet away from you. There is a clear roadblock between you and them, that roadblock being a massive white stage that has been set up in the middle of the street. Upon that stage, Princess Celestia stands perfectly still, almost like a statue, in a ridiculous pose. Meanwhile, you watch as Princess Cadance flies onto the stage as well, striking an equally silly pose right next to her. Seeing as the two of you are behind the stage, you get a good look at the rest of the procession. Twilight and Luna are rapidly approaching, and once all four princesses are posing on stage, that will be the signal for you and Moondancer to play your part. Mess it up, and who knows what might happen? Luna could send you to the moon! Celestia could send you to the sun! Cadance could... you don't know, make the two of you break up or something? But worst of all would be Twilight. Messing up here could be the end of everything you hold dear. Your very relationship with Moondancer might hang in the balance. Because if you upset Twilight... she'll tease you about it.

Oh, the horror!

"Alright Nonny, I'm gonna be honest: I'm not entirely sure what it is we have to do! I didn't have time to review my book on the subject because of the manga, and we've been so focused on getting out that I never thought to ask!"

You look over at the procession. Luna is flying up onto the stage now. You have mere seconds before Twilight lands on the stage as well. From seemingly nowhere, you produce two baseball bats and toss one to Moondancer, who catches it with her magic.

"You've got Cadance duty!"

"I've... WHAT?!"

"Just follow my lead! Rainbow Dash and Applejack will be doing the same thing from the front! It's time to make up for your loss at the beach earlier!"

"What are you talking about?!"

You see Twilight take her position on the stage. With that, all four princesses are lined up in ridiculous poses, each standing eerily still. The upbeat, dramatic music reaches a climax. You look to Moondancer and nod before running up to the stage from behind. Moondancer gasps and follows you. You slow your pace just enough to ensure that you and Moondancer are moving at the same speed. Looking ahead, you can see Dash and AJ doing the same from the front, the crowd having dispersed just enough to allow them to get through.

Finally, all four of you reach the stage at the same time. As you do so, you leap into the air, and a nervous Moondancer follows suit. The music suddenly cuts out, and you focus on your target. After raising the bat above you and winding up, you bring it crashing back down onto Twilight's head before you reach the ground. A terrified Moondancer winces as she does the same to Cadance. Meanwhile, Applejack smashes her bat into Celestia, while Rainbow Dash makes contact with Luna. You all hit the ground in unison. All four of your baseball bats broke upon impact with the alicorns' heads, and to the shock of the crowd, none of them even flinched. You take a knee to bow before the princesses, and Moondancer does the same upon seeing you do so along with AJ and Dash. After a moment, the four princesses finally break their stupid stances and take a collective bow, causing all of Canterlot to erupt into a collective roar of cheers. From the ground, Moondancer looks at you with confusion. All you can do is smile back at her and shrug.

You made it.

You collapse onto Moondancer's sofa, and she unabashedly throws herself on top of you. Both of you close your eyes and allow your bodies to go limp. After everything you experienced today, you're more exhausted than you've ever been before. You both let out a sigh of relief as you relish the feeling of your stresses finally melting away.

"What was that all about anyway, Nonny?" Her voice is a quiet, almost pouty mumble. It's the cutest darn thing you've ever heard.

"I don't understand it at all, to be honest. Ancient Equestrian traditions are super weird. I guess it's supposed to be a display of power or something?"

"Ugh. I hate public events."

"I know you do, Moonie. Still, you've been living in Canterlot your whole life. I'm amazed you didn't know what the finale of the procession was."

"I've never been."

"Never?"

"My parents always had to work during it, so I was left to study on my own instead. Then, when I was an adult, I chose to study on my own instead."

"Hah. Yeah, that sounds like you. Would you consider going now?"

Moondancer removes her glasses and gently places them on a nearby coffee table (that is, of course, covered in books) before burying her face into your neck.

"Nope."

"Not even just as a spectator?"

"Well... I suppose if you were with me, it might not be so bad."

"Hmhm, I'm so flattered."

"Oh, shut up."

She squeezes you tightly, which gets a chuckle out of you. You wrap your arms around her and gently scritch the back of her head, causing her ears to go all floppy. It's adorable.

"So, what do you want to do now that we've got everything taken care of?"

"Nonny, I just want to take a nap right now. So, uh, don't move. I'm comfy."

"Haha! Your wish is my command."

"...When we wake up, can we get something to eat, too? I miss eating food that's actually real."

"Sure. What are you feeling?"

"Some oranges, at least."

"You've been thinking about that ever since we got under the kotatsu, haven't you?"

"Maybe."

Moondancer's words have been becoming gradually more quiet as your conversation has gone on. You open your mouth to speak again, but you stop yourself when you hear a gentle snore leave her mouth. Smiling to yourself, you simply lay back, hold your marefriend tight, and allow yourself to slowly succumb to the sweet temptation of sleep.

Because now, you have all the time in the world.

Inside Canterlot Castle, Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight Sparkle rub their poor, aching heads.

"Hey, Twilight?"

"Y-yeah? What is it?"

"Next year... just let me pick the bat-bearers, okay?"

Twilight winces as Celestia places an ice pack on her head while Luna does the same for Cadance. Meanwhile, the sisters are doing their best to ignore the throbbing pain in their own heads.

"Good idea. I'll just tell Anon and Moondancer to read some manga instead or something. I'm sure they'd like that."

And as the four aching princesses agree to a new course of action for next year, the Princess Procession officially comes to a close.

Author's Note

And that's it! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it!

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!