Twilight Sparkle And A Cucumber

by Sparlight_Twikle

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1396

Twilight Sparkle has discovered a new hobby, but she keeps it hidden from her friends.

Twilight has found a new hobby. When nopony is around, she locks up the library, takes a cucumber from the kitchen, goes up to her bedroom, and...

Rated Mature for immature humor.

Read aloud by The Borgia and by Kirbs2002 (starts at 39:23).

Published 2012-10-04 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-04 23:10:01 UTC

The chapter about cucumbers

﻿Spike was away.

This simple fact meant a lot for Twilight. She could finally do that little secret thing she loved to do without risking that somepony or somedragon would see her doing it.

She trotted down and carefully locked the front door. The last thing she wanted is having some of her friends barge uninvited and catch her in her confidential activities. She trotted upstairs and checked the locks on the window. It was very likely that Rainbow Dash would carelessly fly in if the window was left open. She also pulled the curtains, just to be sure. Voyeurism was rampant in Ponyville and usually the perpetrators were pegasi.

Having successfully secured her privacy, the unicorn trotted to the kitchen. She opened a cupboard and removed few rarely used pots from there. To her eyes there was revealed a beautiful vegetable she bought yesterday and hid from Spike: a cucumber. It was perfect: the length, the diameter, the hardness... She could only imagine how much pleasure it would give her.

Twilight gently took the cucumber and put the pots back in place. She carried it all the way up to her bedroom and lay on her bed. She couldn't take her eyes from it. She was earnestly awaiting the moment the vegetable would end up inside her. Lying on her back, she levitated the cucumber into the air and stared at it for a while.

“Wait, something's lacking,” she said. She caressed the surface of the cucumber with her hoof and realized that she'd need something more. She put the vegetable away and trotted back to kitchen. She opened a fridge, took a jar of mayonnaise and few tissues. “Just in case,” she murmured to herself. With the newly acquired items, she returned to her den. Once again she lay on her back, levitated the cucumber, opened the jar and dipped the green vegetable in the mayo. She levitated it back up and yet again stared upon it.

‘I wonder what my friends would say if they entered while I was doing it,’ she thought. She giggled, because the images appeared in her mind with ease.

Twilight Sparkle was lying in bed, enjoying a large cucumber. Suddenly, something broke through the window pane. Shards of glass flew everywhere and a cyan pegasus emerged among scattered remains of the window. Twilight froze in shock, losing magical grip on the cucumber. Drops of mayonnaise stained the sheets.

“What... what are you doing here?” the unicorn asked, while trying to hide the vegetable from her friend's sight.

“I just dropped in...” Rainbow Dash began, but then she noticed Twilight was trying to hide something. She flew to the ceiling to take a better look and immediately burst into laughter. “Really, Twilight, a cucumber with mayonnaise?”

The unicorn blushed and begged: “Please, Dash, don't tell anypony!”

Rainbow put a hoof to her chin, pretended to think for a moment and answered: “Nah.” Then she flew away, turning a deaf ear to the pleas coming from the bedroom.

Twilight nervously glanced at the window. Luckily, in reality there was no Rainbow Dash crashing into the bedroom window, at least so far. The pegasus was probably somewhere else, for example at the Sweet Apple Acres, boasting about his newest aerial trick to Applejack. Twilight suddenly imagined the farm pony paying her an unexpected visit.

Twilight Sparkle was lying in bed, enjoying a large cucumber. Suddenly, she heard that the door downstairs had been broken and quick hoofsteps could be heard on the stairs leading to her bedroom. The bedroom door opened and an orange pony ran inside.

“Twilight, we've got a problem!” Applejack shouted as soon as she entered the librarian's private quarters. She galloped to the upper level of the bedroom and skidded to halt. The unicorn was frantically trying to hide some sticky green vegetable.

Left speechless, Applejack heard only a whisper from her friend: “Please, I can explain...” She shook her head and quickly turned around, repeatedly saying to herself: “Ah ain't seen no Twilight with a cucumber, Ah ain't seen no Twilight with a cucumber, Ah ain't seen no Twilight with a cucumber...”

Twilight couldn't imagine Applejack ever approving of her newly discovered hobby. The earth mare was really conservative in these matters, so it would be better if she never found out. The librarian pondered for a while which of her friends would be the most open to the idea of enjoying a mayonnaise-covered cucumbers in a bedroom and her analytical mind immediately found an answer.

Twilight Sparkle was lying in bed, enjoying a large cucumber. Suddenly, a pink shaped popped out from under her bed, spraying confetti everywhere and yelling: “Surprise!”

“Pinkie, what are you doing here?” asked Twilight, trying to regain magical grasp on the cucumber. She failed and the sticky vegetable fell down and rolled away.

“I wanted to throw you a surprise party, but I see you found a way to entertain yourself on your own! A cucumber with mayonnaise, why didn't I think about it before?”

Pinkie Pie crawled from under the bed and, humming a cheerful tune, left the library.

‘Well, this one would go better that the rest,’ Twilight thought to herself, still looking at an immobile cucumber hovering over her belly. A cucumber... Suddenly, she remembered which of her friends loved to use cucumber slices on day-to-day basis.

Twilight Sparkle was lying in bed, enjoying a large cucumber. Suddenly, she heard the front door opening. Did she forget to lock it? She tried to remember, but she wasted too much time on it, because a moment later the bedroom door opened, revealing Rarity.

“Twilight, I heard from Spike that you would love to...” the white unicorn paused, when she noticed Twilight, trying to hide a mayonnaise-covered cucumber. She chuckled and said: “Oh, Twilight, I never knew you were into this kind of things...”

Twilight smiled sheepishly instead of replying.

Rarity continued: “I'm not judging you. In fact, I think a mare has her needs and what she does in the confines of her own bedroom is her private matter.” Rarity inched closed and winked: “I also have my guilty pleasures nopony knows about.” She took a step back. “So, er, I'll wait for you downstairs, if you don't mind.”

Rarity turned around and left the bedroom, giggling.

Twilight's mind put forward several candidates for Rarity's guilty pleasures, but in a violent fight for her sanity she managed to push them back with images of fluffy, cute bunnies. ‘Speaking of bunnies,’ she thought, ‘I wonder what would Fluttershy say if she saw me now...’

Twilight Sparkle was lying in bed, enjoying a large cucumber. Suddenly, she heard a whisper next to her bed:

“Sorry, Twilight, was I too quiet?” Fluttershy asked, watching as Twilight enjoyed her cucumber. Twilight opened her eyes and rolled down from the bed.

“Fluttershy!” Twilight replied, getting up from the floor on the other side of bed. “You startled me!”

“Sorry... Um, is that a cucumber with mayonnaise?” the pegasus asked.

“Yes, but...” Twilight started, awaiting Flutteshy's shock and panic. To her surprise, nothing like that happened.

“Okay,” the yellow mare said, “but you know, I personally prefer cucumbers with chili sauce.”

“Okay, that's enough of that silliness,” Twilight said aloud. It was time to finally get to that cucumber she was levitating for a while. A single drop of mayonnaise had already fell down on her belly button, tickling her as it went down to her side.

Twilight lowered the vegetable and closed her eyes. She prepared her body for the delight the cucumber was to give her. She slowly slid it inside her, thankfully the mayonnaise made it easier. She moaned in pleasure and clenched her teeth. She felt the smoothness of the dressing. She pushed the cucumber further with her magic. She continued this gratifying process for minutes. Each time she pushed it, a smaller part of the vegetable was outside the unicorn, until finally the whole cucumber ended up inside her. She licked her lips and enjoyed the feel of the cucumber moving towards her belly. Thanks to mayonnaise, the cucumber slid quite easily. The sheet was stained and it stuck to her coat.

Twilight lay down for few more minutes and then slowly opened her eyes, saying to herself:

“I think I'll eat another one.”