C:\Program_Files\Ponyville\Sweetie_Bot.exe

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Sweetie Belle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst
Length: 2759

Being the new guy in town, Sunburst would be the first to admit that he isn't exactly familiar with Ponyville's residents. Still, surely he isn't the only one who can tell that a certain filly is actually a robot, right? ...Right?

After no longer being needed as much in the Crystal Empire, Sunburst moved to Ponyville to assist his friend Starlight Glimmer with her work at the School of Friendship. Being the new guy in town, Sunburst understood that he wasn't as familiar with Ponyville or the creatures that live there as most of the locals. Still, a couple of children running around with what is obviously a robot pretending to be a filly is a strange sight no matter where you're from.

However, when he mentioned this robot to Starlight and Rarity, they acted like they had no idea what he was talking about. Surely he wasn't the only pony in town that could tell she's a robot, right?

...Right?

Published 2023-09-24 08:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-09-24 08:10:01 UTC

C:\Program_Files\Ponyville\Sweetie_Bot.exe

Author's Note

Made for a friend. :twilightsmile:

This story has nothing to do with any other works featuring Sweetie Bot. It's just a little one-off that plays with the core concept of the character.

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!

C:\Program_Files\Ponyville\Sweetie_Bot.exe

Sunburst stretched his legs and smiled before stepping out of his home. It was a late morning in Ponyville, but because it was a Saturday, there wasn't any pressure to get up early. In fact, he technically didn't have to work at all, but he thought it would be a good idea to start setting up his new office sooner rather than later.

Indeed, Sunburst had just moved to Ponyville a few days prior. Seeing as how Princess Flurry Heart was growing by the day, he found himself with fewer and fewer duties as her crystaller. As such, when his best friend Starlight Glimmer sent him a letter asking him to be her vice headmare at the School of Friendship, he happily accepted. He still had a few boxes left to unpack, but for the most part, his move to Ponyville had been smooth. All he had left to do was get his office ready in preparation for classes on Monday.

His horn gently glowed with magic as he pulled a small cart behind him. This cart contained everything he would need in his new office, purchased with funds provided to him by the school itself. He found that fact quite humorous.

The cart gently creaked and wobbled as he made his way down the winding dirt roads of Ponyville. He was in no rush, and he had no other plans for the day. As a result, he decided to take it slow and really drink in all of the sights. He had been to Ponyville many times before, but to see it in such a relaxed, quiet manner was soothing to him. Birds gently flew from tree to tree. Ponies went about their daily business, happily chatting amongst each other and a few even greeting him as he walked by. All in all, it was a lot quieter than the Crystal Empire, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Suddenly, he came to a stop as a couple of fillies ran out in front of him from a nearby alleyway. He gasped in surprise, shocked at how quickly the two fillies nearly ran over him. Then, just as he thought he was clear, a third filly did run over him, her tiny body carrying much more force than he was expecting and bringing him to the ground.

"W-woah!"

Sunburst groaned as he took a moment to regain his composure. He blinked, then realized he should probably be more concerned with the filly than himself. He frantically looked behind him, immediately seeing the culprit.

On the ground, a unicorn filly with a white coat twitched before attempting to stand. She seemed to have issues with her balance, so Sunburst carefully helped her to her hooves. The filly turned around to face him, which only caused Sunburst to jump a second time. Her eyes were green. Like, entirely green, with neon-like irises that seemed to stare through him. Her joints contained small gaps, revealing cables and all other manner of machinery beneath them. The majority of her body looked like a white coat, but upon closer inspection, it appeared to actually be a smooth metal of some kind. Her mane and tail were purple and pink, but they seemed to be made out of plastic. Taken altogether, she looked uncanny.

"U-umm..." Sunburst hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to act in that situation. "H-hello. Are you okay?"

The filly looked up at him. She tilted her head, and it made a whirring noise as she did so.

"Subject identified as: Sunburst. Status: Friend of Rarity. Calculating response..."

Sunburst looked at the filly with wide eyes, his jaw agape.

"What the heck?" His voice was quiet and anxious.

"Hello, Sunburst. I am, indeed, okay. How are you?"

"I'm... I'm fine."

"Response received. Formulating question..." The filly locked up for a moment before continuing. "I apologize for running into you. Are you injured?"

"No, I'm alright. Uhh, wh-who are you?"

Before the mechanical filly could respond, the two other girls approached her on either side and smiled at Sunburst.

"Ah, Sunburst! You've never met Sweetie Belle, have ya?"

Sunburst recognized the filly speaking as Apple Bloom, Applejack's younger sister. He knew that she had two friends named Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, the former of which was a pegasus and the latter of which was Rarity's sister. However, he was not aware that this "Sweetie Belle" was actually a robot.

Sunburst had never seen a fully functional robot. Sure, he had seen some mechanical marvels during his studies, but the idea of a robot that could even come close to passing as a real pony was no more than a work of fiction to him. And yet, there could be no mistake: The filly standing in front of him was not made of flesh and blood.

"N-no, I haven't. I must say, you are a fascinating work of machinery, Sweetie Belle."

"Activating denial module. I am no work of machinery, Sunburst. I am Sweetie Belle, daughter of Cookie Crumbles and Hondo Flanks, sister of Rarity. I do not appreciate such an accusation. Please refrain from sharing any ideas suggesting that I may resemble anything other than a normal filly."

"I... huh?"

"That was really rude, Sunburst." Scootaloo spoke up, her voice stern and commanding for such a small pony. "I don't know what you mean by 'machinery,' but Sweetie Belle is a normal pony like us. It's awfully mean of you to call her names."

"I didn't mean it like that. I suppose I just..." Sunburst glanced at Sweetie Belle once more. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, but the very obvious fact that she was not a pony didn't go away. "I was expecting something else."

"You should really apologize, ya know." Apple Bloom joined Scootaloo in giving Sunburst a disapproving look.

"Um, I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle." Sunburst's voice was filled with confusion. "I didn't mean to... upset you? I suppose?"

"Apology detected. ...Apology accepted. It is alright, Sunburst. Refrain from doing that again." In an extremely stiff manner, Sweetie Belle turned towards Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. "Shall we continue on our Cutie Mark Crusading?"

"Yeah!" The two other girls shouted in unison.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo immediately began to run off in the direction they were heading before almost bumping into Sunburst. Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, stood still for several seconds. Sunburst raised an eyebrow as her entire body started to make a whirring noise before she eventually began to run forward, her starting speed much higher than any filly's probably should be.

"Well, that was... curious."

Sunburst adjusted his glasses and dusted himself off. After watching the two fillies and one robot turn around a corner, he sighed and began to move his cart once again.

What a strange town.

A few hours later, Sunburst heard a knock on his office door. He sat down the pile of books that he was sorting on a nearby shelf and turned towards said door with a smile.

"It's open!"

Sunburst watched as the wooden door was surrounded by a gentle magic and carefully slid open. Peering into the still-unfinished office were Starlight Glimmer, the headmare of the school, and Rarity, one of the school's teachers. The two mares greeted Sunburst as they entered his office.

"Good afternoon, Sunburst! I didn't know you were in here today!"

"Oh, I didn't want to bother you. It's a slow afternoon anyway, haha!"

"Still, you should have told me! I could have helped you carry some of that stuff! Look at how many boxes you have!"

Starlight glanced past Sunburst at the large pile of boxes he still had yet to unpack, a gentle smile on her face as she lightly teased her friend.

"I couldn't ask you to do that, Starlight. Besides, I find organizing to be somewhat therapeutic. I'm doing just fine in here."

"Well, I can see that." Rarity spoke up before Starlight could, her attention focused squarely on a few small tapestries Sunburst had hung from the walls. "You have an eye for interior design, I see. The feng shui in here is divine, darling. Where did you get these?"

"Those were gifts from Princess Cadance. 'Something to remember your old home by,' she called them. They're traditional among the crystal ponies, and it felt more appropriate to keep them here where they could be admired than in my dusty little house."

"Speaking of, how has your move been going? I can only imagine how different it must feel to be living here after having been in the Empire for so long."

"It's been an adjustment, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Everypony is friendly, and I can appreciate the quiet atmosphere. Still, there are a few... oddities I'll need to get used to."

"Oh? I didn't think Ponyville was that strange."

"Well, for example, I ran into your sister on the way here, Rarity. I must say, she... er... isn't what I was expecting."

Rarity raised a skeptical eyebrow at Sunburst's comment.

"Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"

"I just wasn't aware Ponyville had functioning robots, that's all."

"Robots?" Rarity glared at Sunburst, a mixture of rage and confusion on her face. Sunburst recoiled as Rarity took a step towards him. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm not sure how I feel about you comparing my dear sister to a machine!"

Sunburst took a step back, but this only caused Rarity to take another step forward. Meanwhile, Starlight's head turned back and forth between them as she watched the conversation unfold.

"Rarity, have you seen her joints? They're filled with wires, and cables, and... I don't know, robot stuff!"

"Sweetie Belle has a flawless coat, I'll have you know! I taught her proper coat care myself."

Rarity rubbed a hoof over her side as if to show off how pristine she kept her own coat.

"She accidentally bumped into me when I was bringing everything here this morning. I can say with certainty that she doesn't have a coat. It's all metal!"

"...Hm." Rarity stopped her advance, causing Sunburst to breathe a sigh of relief. He was more or less cornered, and if Rarity took another step, he would have nowhere else to escape to. "Are you positive that was my sister? Sweetie Belle is an ordinary filly, and she is certainly not made of metal."

"I didn't think it was her myself, but Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were insistent that she was."

"Oh, those two. They're wonderful friends to Sweetie, but I wonder what goes through their heads sometimes..."

"If I may," Starlight interjected, "I feel like if there was a robot just waltzing around Ponyville, we probably would have heard about it. Something like that is liable to give Twilight a darn heart attack. Are you sure that was a robot you saw?"

"I guess not, since I didn't know metallic fillies were a thing until this morning. I-"

Sunburst was cut off by the door opening once again, this time with no knock. He gasped as he watched a familiar, mechanical unicorn filly enter his unfinished office.

"Scanning room. Starlight Glimmer detected. Sunburst detected. Rarity detected." Two quick, high-pitched beeping sounds echoed through the office before Sweetie Belle walked in a cold, calculated manner up to Rarity. "Hello, sister Rarity. I, Sweetie Belle, have been sent by mother to execute Sister_Retrieval.exe. She wishes to invite you out to dinner with father and mother and Sweetie Belle. Do you accept?"

"Ah, hello Sweetie! Yes, I would love to join you three for dinner!" Rarity turned towards Sunburst, a genuine smile on her face. "See, Sunburst? She's just an ordinary filly!"

"I... Rarity, she just said that she's running an executable file. Plus, she vocalized an underscore out loud somehow!"

"You don't see us making fun of your mannerisms, do you?!" Rarity glared at Sunburst, a fire burning in her eyes.

"I... I..." Sunburst turned to Starlight, who just looked at him with concern. "Starlight, help me out here."

"I don't think I can, Sunburst. You have to be seeing things or something. That's just Sweetie Belle."

"Oh, come on!" Sunburst quickly trotted up to Sweetie Belle and looked down at her. She locked eyes with him, no emotion present on her mechanical face whatsoever. "She's literally made of metal and plastic!"

Sunburst gently tapped the side of her head, which made a loud, metallic "thunk" sound. Rarity gasped, her horn glowing as she pushed Sunburst away from her sister.

"Do not touch her! Sunburst, I expected better of you!"

"Rarity, you heard that! Y-you're hugging her right now!" Rarity had, indeed, wrapped herself around her sister in a protective embrace. "You can feel the metal right now! She doesn't have a coat!"

"Her coat is perfect, Sunburst. I really cannot believe that Starlight chose somepony so mean to children to be her vice headmare! Hmph!" Rarity huffed and stuck her nose to the air as she began to make her way towards the door. "Come, Sweetie Belle. We have other places to be, with less rude company!"

Sweetie Belle stood still for a moment before speaking in her robotic voice.

"Command identified. Beginning Annoyed Departure Protocol." The robot mimicked Rarity, sticking its nose to the air and slowly trotting out of the room. However, right before it did, it stopped in its tracks and looked Sunburst dead in the eyes. "Scanning... Sunburst added to elimination list. Elimination added to bottom of queue. Estimated execution time: <2 days."

Then, just as suddenly as she had stopped, the machine went back to sticking its nose in the air and exited the room, struggling to close the door behind itself in the process.

"...That was pretty mean, Sunburst. What's gotten into you?"

Sunburst glanced back at Starlight, who looked at him like he was sick or something.

"You're telling me you seriously can't tell that she's a robot?!"

"She isn't a robot! Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"I feel fine!"

"Do you need a new prescription for those glasses, then?"

"N-no! Didn't you hear her?! She added me to an 'elimination list!' Whatever that is, I don't want to find out!"

"I'm sure it's just one of her little games she plays with the other Cutie Mark Crusaders."

"Her cutie mark was painted on!"

"Okay, you seriously need to dial it back! Getting a cutie mark was extremely important to Sweetie Belle, you shouldn't demean her like that!"

"I... I..." Sunburst didn't know what else to do but groan and place his head in his hooves. Was he just going crazy? Children may be one thing, but there was no way Rarity and Starlight would be mistaken about something like this, right? Surely he was just mistaken, right? Right, he had to be. There was absolutely no way Rarity's sister was a real, functioning robot, and there was no way that nopony would notice such a thing. Sunburst sighed. "I guess I must be seeing things. Maybe I am more tired than I thought."

After hesitating for a moment, Starlight took a deep breath and placed a hoof on Sunburst's shoulder.

"Let's take a break, maybe have a cup of tea. I know you aren't the type of pony to be mean to children for no reason, and we need to make sure we get you all sorted out before classes start on Monday."

"O-okay. Thank you, Starlight."

With that, the two ponies departed the office. Starlight was concerned about her friend, but surely his strange remarks were just due to the stress of moving, right? Meanwhile, Sunburst did his best to calm his growing nerves. Surely there isn't a robot walking around pretending to be Rarity's younger sister, right?

As Sunburst lay asleep that night, he was blissfully unaware of his bedroom door carefully creaking open. A pair of glowing green eyes pierced the darkness, looking directly at his unconscious form.

"...Command aborted. Switching to Gaslight Protocol."

With stiff movements, Sweetie Belle turned around and exited the bedroom once more, her joints making loud, mechanical noises as she closed the door just loud enough for Sunburst to hear.

"H-huh?!"

Sunburst stared into the darkness, but saw nothing.

"...I should really go see a doctor."