Celestia’s sun rose in the sky, signaling the dawn of a new day. One of its many rays found its way into the window of Ponyville’s local library, illuminating the two ponies sleeping in their bed. Suddenly, the eyes of one of the pony, a blue pegasus, snapped open.
“Game time,” Rainbow Dash said to herself, before climbing out of bed with a determination that she normally reserved for her stunt work.
This is it, she thought. Today’s the day.
Her hooves hit the wooden floor with a sharp snap! Rainbow winced. “Hmmm,” said the alicorn as she rolled over. Rainbow’s ears stood straight up. “Dashie…?” came a voice that normally Rainbow loved to hear.
Rainbow Dash froze, her heart hammering in her chest. “Dashie…” her marefriend repeated. “I… I don’t want any more lemons.” Rainbow then heard a dull thud, presumably Twilight laying back down, which was followed by a volley of snores.
“Phew,” Rainbow said, before opening the bedroom door and shutting it behind her, just in time to see Spike open up his door. “Good morning, my scaly friend!”
“Oh no, she’s happy.”
Rainbow decided to ignore the dig and continue: “I have good news! You are hereby relieved from your cooking duties as of this morning!”
“What?” Spike said, raising an eyebrow. “But then who’s…” His eyes widened. “Please tell me…”
“That I’m going to cook my marefriend the greatest, most romantic breakfast in the history of the breakfast?”
“But… you have to remember what happened last time.”
“Eh heh,” Rainbow said, her confident grin slipping for just long enough for the drake to notice. “Spiiike, c’mon,” she said, ruffling Spike’s scales with a hoof in a way she thought was playful. “We all know that was an accident…”
“Do you know how long it took for your fur to grow back?”
Suddenly Rainbow felt uncomfortably warm. “Well, you see… um…” Rainbow then licked her lips. “It… it’s like Twilight say’s: if we don’t learn from our mistakes, we are doomed to… repeat them?” she finished with a forced smile. Rainbow blinked, once, twice…
Spike sighed. “Whatever,” he grumbled before shutting his door.
“Jerk,” Rainbow hissed as she flew past his room. Who did he think she was? She was Rainbow Dash. The Rainbow Dash. She was going to cook the awesomest breakfast to woo her even awesomer marefriend. She would show him, just like she showed all those ponies who were jealous of her back in flight school. Rainbow smiled as she remembered the looks on their. faces Guess what losers?, she had said. My marefirend is a princess. Who’s gay now?
Rainbow Dash then landed in the kitchen, quickly spotting Spike’s apron. Curious, she put it on and headed over to a nearby mirror. “Wow,” she said. “I look good in this… pfft! What am I saying? I always look good!” She then shook her head. “Focus Rainbow! First, we need to turn on the stove and… and…”
Rainbow Dash frowned. “Wait… how do I…”
She then flew back into the kitchen, landing directly in front of the dark gray stove, its surface just shinny enough to reflect her uncertainties right back at her. Cautiously she reached out a hoof and twisted a dial.
Suddenly there was a hissing sound, like a snake about to strike!
“Gah!” Rainbow cried. She immediately turned the dial back. “Oookay. Wait, I remember! There’s some kinda code” She began moving the dial again. “What was it? Up, up, down, down, left, right, left right, B, A?” She was halfway through the code when she realized that there was no B or A.
“Know what? I don’t need a stove! I have…” she quickly scanned her surroundings. “Toast!” she triumphantly cried, grabbing the nearby toaster, and shoving a slice of bread inside with a soft clank.
“Twilight is gonna love this…” she declared. “She’s gonna wake up and see… and see… um, uh…”
She’s gonna see a stupid piece of toast! A little voice inside her head shouted. She recognized it as the one Twilight always told her to ignore.
Oh my gosh Rainbow Dash! You are so cringe! She’s gonna dump your sorry flank when she sees this! Why did you ever even think you had a chance with her! She’s a literal princess and you’re a pathetic loser who will never amount to anything because you can’t even make breakfast, and you’re gonna DIE alone because TwiJack is a much better ship…
“No!” Rainbow shouted. “No! I could fix this” She then brought a hoof up to her temple, furrowing her brow like Twilight did whenever she was deep in thought. “C’mon Rainbow Dash, think! Think!”
“Wait…” Rainbow said slowly, a smile appearing on her lips. “Yes. Yes! That’s it!” Rainbow then raced over the cabinet and opened it. “Sprinkles!” she triumphantly exclaimed as she snatched the small container. They were even rainbow colored!
With an excitement normally reserved for her stunt work or bashing Daring Do haters Rainbow Dash flew back over to the toaster and began pouring her touche personnelle over the toast. The sprinkles poured out much quicker than she was anticipating, coating the slices of bread in a thick, vibrant layer. Oh well, Rainbow thought as she turned the knob. Maybe they’ll add more flavor?
“Now,” Rainbow thought out loud. “For the finishing touches…” Rainbow then turned back to the cabinet, quickly spotting a few old cereal boxes. “Awesome!” she said as she grabbed her favorite. “Now I just need the milk an-”
A sudden crackling sound interrupted Rainbow from her thoughts. She whirled around. Her romantic breakfast was emitting tiny, rainbow-colored sparks and sizzles from inside the toaster. Rainbow’s eyes widened. Before long, the sparks intensified, and then suddenly a flame burst its way out of the toaster, dancing merrily atop the scorching bread.
“Uh oh.”
Twilight awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside. She let out a small yawn as she stretched her wings, before rolling over. “Morning Dashie,” she said, anticipating her marefriend’s morning nuzzle. “Huh?” she said after a moment. “Dashie?” She opened her eyes, finding nothing but an indentation on the bed and a lone blue feather.
“Rainbow?” Twilight said as she sat up. “Where did you…”
Suddenly, an ear splitting screech tore through the air, muting Twilight’s pained yelp as she covered her ears.
“Twilight!” Spike shrieked as he threw open the door.
“Spike!” She instinctively grabbed him into a hug.
“What’s going on!? Are we going to die!?”
“I don’t know!?”
“DANG IT!” A third voice shouted from below.
Twilight gasped. “Rainbow!” She then teleported herself and Spike one floor below. In one corner was Owlicious, screeching frantically inside his cage as Spike rushed over to calm him down. In the other was Rainbow Dash, furiously pounding the smoke alarm into the ground as if using it like a hammer.
“Why,” Rainbow said in between strikes. “Won’t.” Pound! “You.” Pound! “Stop!” Suddenly, Twilight’s magic enveloped the smoke alarm midstrike, and with a soft click it went silent. “Phew! Thanks Twi!”
Owlicious then began shrieking again. “Uh, guys?” Spike said.
The two mares then turned around to see a missive wall of flames coming from the kitchen.
“Oh road apples!”
“Sweet Celestia!” Twilight blared. A notebook labeled “Emergency plans” materialized in front of her, and she frantically flipped through the pages. “Spike, get the owl! Rainbow, get the fire extinguisher!”
Rainbow nodded and then flew over to retrieve the extinguisher. She pointed it at the kitchen and released the handle. However, instead of foam it sprayed a menagerie of streamers and confetti, which only made the flames grow taller.
“Huh?” Rainbow said, then noticing that the extinguisher was more pink than red. She then turned it over and read the label: “Auntie Pinkie’s novelty party starter? Dang it Pinkie!”
It was then Rainbow heard a scream. “Twilight!” She rushed over to the library, finding Twilight watching in horror as the flames approached the bookshelves. “Twilight are you…”
“The books!” Twilight replied, placing her hooves on shoulders. “We have to save them!” Without waiting for a reply she darted over to a shelf, grabbed an entire row in her aura and then teleported them away. Rainbow followed suit, grabbing as many books as she could carry in her wings before galloping outside. Just as she threw them down several other large piles magically appeared around her. She then heard the door slam open and turned to see Twilight racing towards her with a series under each wing and an entire section balanced on her back.
“Okay,” Twilight said as she threw her books down. “1, 2, 3…”
“Twilight?” Spike said.
“...756, 757, 758… NO! I’m missing one!” Then she turned and ran back into the burning house.
She opened the door, the smoke burning her lungs, the heat searing her fur. She spotted the book sitting and was about to drive for it when somepony grabbed her. “NO!” She cried, kicking and flailing. She could almost reach it…
“Twilight! We need to get out of here!” Rainbow said before falling into a coughing fit, allowing Twilight to slide just forward just enough to grab the book.
“For feathers to shake! Just leave it!”
“No!” Twilight turned to face Rainbow, tears streaming down her face. “You don’t understand! I can’t lose… Erenst Cline’s Ready Player One? Wait… ew! Why do I have this?” She then promptly tossed the book into the fire, which eagerly devoured it.
Then Rainbow’s grip tightened, and the world became a blur. Soon Twilight found herself landing on top of her books, her oldest thanking her by breaking her fall.
“Wait here!” Rainbow ordered. She then took off, darting around the sky until she found a dark cloud. She grabbed onto a corner with all four hooves, pulling with all her might.
“C’mon… c’mon…”
With a mighty grunt, Rainbow finally tore a piece off. She flew back like a rainbow-colored missile, coming to a halt just in front of the library’s window.
“Rainbow kick!” she roared, shattering the glass to pieces with a single buck. She then flew to the other end and began to push. She grit her teeth, ignoring the sounds of the window frame breaking as she stuff the cloud into the library. At long last she heard the tale-tale crackling of electricity, followed by the pitter-patter of water falling onto wood.
Relieved, Rainbow then allowed herself to glide back to the ground. She landed beside Twilight, Spike and Owlicious (who had somehow gotten out of his cage).
“I… I did…” Rainbow said in between pants. A sudden sense of giddiness then overtook her. “Haha, I did. I won! Sweet Celestia, did you see that!? That was so awesome!”
Rainbow then spread her wings. She was prepared to do her victory flight when she felt Spike’s claw tapping her leg.
“Uh, Rainbow?” said the drake, gesturing with his other claw. Rainbow turned to see Twilight looking at something in front of her. She was covering her mouth with her hooves, baring an expression that didn’t seem to share Rainbow’s excitement.
She then turned around again to see the front of the Golden Oaks library. At first it didn’t seem too bad; the outside didn’t look that burnt, and smoke had stopped coming out. Then she saw the large puddle forming at the front door. The phrase “water damage” settled into her mind.
“Oh road apples.”
“My… my home,” Twilight stammered before collapsing into a sobbing fit. Rainbow instinctively wrapped a wing around her, while Spike gently patted her on the back.
“Shh,” Rainbow cooed. “It’s okay…”
“H-how… How did this happen?”
Rainbow’s hair stood up on end. Beside her, Spike let out a nervous chuckle. “I, uh, better go write a letter to the princes,” he said. Spike then turned and ran, impressively managing to trip only once as he scampered off. In contrast, Owlicious gave Rainbow Dash a mornfull look, and then bid her farewell with a simple “Hoo” before flying away.
“I…” Rainbow began. Then she sighed. “I started a fire while I was cooking you breakfast.”
Twilight lifted her head and Rainbow winced. Her violent eyes were lacking their usual warmth and intelligence, instead they were laced with pain and sadness. “Y-you did this?”
“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear! I-I just wanted to cook you a romantic breakfast… b-but then I got distracted w-with the cereal… and the toast caught fire… a-and… and…
This is it! She’s finally gonna be done with you! There’s no way you can go back to being friends, heck none of your OTHER friends are gonna wanna see you after this! Heck, you’d be lucky if Celestia doesn't send you to the moon because of this! You stupid, worthless…
“Wait?” Twilight said. “Your idea of a romantic breakfast was toast and cheap cereal?”
“And sprinkles?” Rainbow said lamely.
Suddenly Twilight buried her face into Rainbow’s chest. “Oh, Dashie,” she whispered. “You really do love me!”
Rainbow held her marefriend as she sobbed, gently stroking her mane. She felt a smile on her lips.
Nailed it!
