Merchandise

by TheEighthDayofNight

Rating: teen
Tags: Changelings, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Sex, Profanity, Random, Violence, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe
Length: 1461

Trex becomes a marketable plushie

Trex is a cute bug.

Night Reader sees a marketing opportunity.

Riots consume the world.

Technically takes place in the Equestria at War universe, but no significant elements are brought up, nor is lore contributed to.

Art by FacadeArts

Published 2023-09-26 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-09-26 23:50:01 UTC

Who wants one?

Night Reader whistled lightly to himself as he waved at another happy customer, a rather strange white-maned changeling who was already wearing his new shirt. It'd been a busy day so far, but a profitable one! He knew that his idea was perfect, and since he'd managed to convince his sponsor of the same, he was going to be raking in the bug bucks.

His smile brightened and he lowered his shades as he spotted a quartet of familiar changelings. One looked horrified, one looked amused, and two looked like enthusiastic customers. Night Reader spread his hooves and cried out his greeting.

"Trex! How's my favorite buggo doing?"

The yellow-eyed changeling still looked horrified as he stopped before the merch stand, his tail lashing back and forth.

"What is all of this? Why is all of this?" He jabbed a hoof at one of the shirts. "That is a lie! I sleep smooth!"

The blue unicorn chuckled and looked toward the other changelings, two of whom were currently searching their wallets.

"Valm, Closed Case, Petra. Want anything? Only 69.99." He winked at Trex. "Though for my special buggo, I can give you a discount."

"I'll bite you!"

"Buggo, so public," Night Reader snickered. "Don't make Petra jealous now."

While Trex hissed at him, Petra chuckled and pointed to a plushie.

"One of those please."

She offered him a healthy stack of hives marks, and Night Reader eagerly handed her the plushie.

"Your very own Trex plushie madame! The softest, cutest, and smoothest bug around! Just look at how those yellow eyes shine! You can only get that quality in the lowest bidding factories around!"

Petra giggled as Trex let out another shriek of indignation, and she booped the plush's nose.

"Adorable, and excellent craftsponyship, Herr Night Reader, don’t be bashful. I can tell these are hoof made. How did you fund this?"

"Queen Chrysalis funnily enough," Night Reader said as Valm counted out enough marks for both a plushie and a shirt. As he passed the changeling his wares, he chuckled, tossing the marks into an open shoebox of cash. "She gets twenty percent, but heck, with how well these buggos have been flying off the shelves, she should've argued for a bigger cut. I'm definitely making a life sized version, once I expand my workshop of course."

"For personal use or commercial?"

Night Reader's broad smile was all the answer needed to draw another shriek from Trex. The yellow-eyed changeling swatted at Night Reader with his newspaper.

"Bad! Bad bat! You've never seen me un-smooth damn you!"

Night Reader pulled aside his scarf to show off the shirt he was wearing.

"I beg to differ buggo."

"I have enough!" Closed Case shouted. "Two shirts and a plush!"

Night Reader passed the eager fedora wearing bug his merch and tossed the cash back again, pulling out a sign that said "Almost Sold Out" and placing it on the front of his stand. Trex howled at the sky.

"How are you almost sold out? Who buys this stuff? And why are you advertising with my name!?"

Night Reader glanced at his signs.

"Oh, that was Queen Chrissy's idea. Said since you were a public figure, it'd make the merch sell better, and hay, she wasn't wrong. She's a smart bug she is."

Trex plopped onto his rump, hiding his face and moaning softly.

"My reputation is ruined."

Petra chuckled and patted his head.

"There there, at least you'll be making some money to get out of that debt of yours. The royalties must be fantastic if sales are this good."

Trex peaked up, sniffling.

"That's... true. I could use the money..."

Night Reader chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. Petra and Trex both looked to him, and he flashed a nervous grin.

"Actually... you don't get any royalties, because you hadn't bought the rights to your likeness... I actually own the "Trex Von Vyrax" brand now..."

Petra snorted and smiled, while Trex face-hoofed, sinking back to his slump again.

"Why? Just... why?"

"I can cut you in though!" Night Reader enthusiastically offered. "A full ten percent royalties on all Trex Merchandise sales, I'll even back pay you!"

Trex glowered, looking up from his sulking.

"In exchange for what? There’s the biggest but in all creation coming."

Night Reader’s grin failed to falter. "I’ll require your assistance with future product creation, and advertising of course. I have an artist that does the most realistic body-pillows-"

Trex snarled, but then sighed and nodded.

"I can see that making money. And what else?"

Night Reader grinned.

"I think you know what else buggo."

Trex sighed and he nodded.

*****

Trex tugged at his "Trex is the best cuddle-bug" t-shirt.

"Why do I have to wear it? It's about me!"

Night Reader continued hugging him, his head resting on the changeling's head.

"Shush, it’s to sell more merch. We've already shaved two-hundred thousand hives marks off your debt, we can easily double that this week with this launch!"

Trex sighed, then began growling.

Trex, the cuddle-tastic changeling, waddled over, his mascot head slightly off-kilter as he extended his hooves.

"Sounds like somepony needs a cuddle!"

"I'll throw your bones into the wind!" Trex snarled, snapping his teeth at the mascot. “The rest I’ll feed to the timberwolves!”

Night Reader giggled and gave the mascot a nod.

"That means he loves it! Go get the crowd warmed up for us! We've got two more minutes on this contractually obligated snuggle and then we'll be out!"

The mascot stiffly saluted before waddling onto the stage. A loud cheer sounded in the air, and Trex winced.

"That sounds like a lot of changelings."

"Oh yeah, from all the hives." Night Reader said, rubbing the changeling’s back. "Queen Chrissy has really gone all out on this. Heck, Dieter *volunteered* to be the mascot. You've really become a national hero with this stuff." He patted Trex on the head and pulled away from the hug. "Just like I knew you would, such a good buggo."

Trex blushed and grumbled. "I'll still bite you! There's not a "no biting" clause in my contract."

Night Reader waggled his eyebrows.

"Kinky buggo, save that for later once we've launched."

Trex let out a skree of hatred while Night Reader stood and moved toward a box, pulling out a large pillow, and a full sized Trex plushie. He set the plush bug atop the original's back, carrying the pillow in his magic. As Trex opened his mouth to protest, Night Reader wrapped a hoof around his withers and pushed him toward the curtain.

"Showtime!"

Trex tried to resist, but the unicorn was larger and stronger, and he was soon pushed onto the stage before a roaring crowd. At the front, an orange stallion let out a particularly loud shriek before fainting into the hooves of a pair of mares, one with wild striped hair, and the other with a long, purple cloak. They held the fainted stallion while the changelings around them clamored to get closer to the stage, forcing the royal guards to form a tight wall to keep them from getting at Trex. The yellow-eyed buggo smiled nervously, while Night Reader snatched over the microphone.

"Good evening every-buggy!" he called. "Who wants to hear the Cuddle-Tastic Trex say his catch phrase?"

The cheers were deafening and the press of changelings grew. Trex winced at the sight and looked to Night Reader, who nodded him toward the microphone. Behind the unicorn, waiting off-stage was Queen Chrysalis and Petra, who both happened to have small Trex plushes in their hooves, tails waggling excitedly. Looking back to all of the excited, over-enthusiastic changelings, he knew what he had to do. He owned a twenty percent share in Trex Co now, if their new product sold half as much as Night Reader said it would, his debt would be cleared and he’d have a tidy nest egg. All it required was five simple words. He sighed and stepped closer to the microphone, his voice wholly un-enthused as he said;

"Who wants a buggy huggy?"

*****

The riots lasted six months as factories struggled to produce enough Trex merch to satiate the masses. A new age was quickly delivered with the masses of Trex the Cuddle-Bug plushies and body pillows, however, that eventually went global, spreading world-wide peace and snuggle bug supremacy.

Author's Note

Originally written in an hour (in notepad lol) and inspired by the cover, this is the cleaned up version! Another gift to one of my inspirations, and best friends on discord, Trex von Vyrax! Love you buggo!

Context: We have had many arguments on where changeling bits are. Unsmooth means bug bits are hangin in the breeze!