T-R-I-X-I-E

by gloamish

Rating: everyone
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie, Comedy
Length: 1045

Of course Trixie knows how to spell her name!

After Trixie's latest show (which Twilight is attending as a sign of support and not because she's assigned herself as the magician's parole officer,) Twilight notices something odd about the showmare's autographs.

translations: russian
readings: VisualPony
reviews: present perfect, ghost mike

Published 2023-10-01 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-10-01 03:50:01 UTC

And That Spells Trixie

"Um."

Squeek! Trixie reveled in the noise of the marker as she finished the flourish on her third signature. Starlight stood next to her, the remaining two posters suspended in her magic.

"Hmm."

The line wasn't very long, so she made sure to linger on each fan. Not long enough for the stars to fade from their eyes, but enough to drag it out and really savor her reward for today's performance.

"Uhh..."

And it was a great performance! Capital-G Great. Nopony even threw a tomato at her. In truth, this was her first time signing autographs in Ponyville at all, and it was embarrassing how outdated the posters were.

"Trixie?"

When a foal asked for an autograph, she practically galloped to her wagon, and it took her a while to find the old rolls squirreled away above where she hung her hammock.

"Trixie?" Twilight asked again, and Trixie couldn't suppress an eyeroll this time.

"Do you need something from The Great and Powerful Trixie?" She asked, synchronizing her title with another autograph to really drive the point home. Princess or not, Twilight had never signed an autograph, probably.

"Well, I was just..." Twilight's eyes followed the poster as it left.

Squeeeeeek. Trixie really went slow with the last autograph, half to savor it, half to annoy Twilight, and half to delay having to speak with her. Unfortunately, it could only be put off so long, as the mare clutched the poster to her chest, rolled it up, and placed it in her saddlebags before trotting off.

"Can I see your signature?" Twilight asked, finally.

Trixie finally turned to her with a smug look, able to properly engage in the conversation now that she had the upper hoof. "That is an awfully strange way of asking for my autograph, Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight wondered if this could wait a few years so she could properly grow into her alicornhood and look down her muzzle at Trixie, as she deserved. Out of impatience, she settled for levelly glaring at her, really letting the silence drag.

Unfortunately, the showmare was an expert at suspense. Settling for the flattest voice possible, Twilight acquiesced. "May I please have your autograph, Trixie."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is not familiar with any ponies by that name," Trixie said, examining her hooficure.

The sigh that emanated from Twilight could've cowed lesser ponies into cooperation, but Trixie was quite the opposite of lesser. "May I please have your autograph, O Great and Powerful Trixie."

"Well of course!" Trixie the ever-generous said, uncapping her pen with a flourish. "Anything for a fan." She cast about for a moment. "Hm! I seem to have run out of posters..." Tapping the end of the marker against Twilight's nose, she grinned. "I hear really enthusiastic fans can make do, though..."

Twilight just continued staring at her with undisguised loathing which she took as enthusiastic consent. With a flourish (and a sad lack of squeaking), Trixie autographed Twilight's forehead, dotting the i with a little heart drawn around her horn's base for extra humiliation.

Adding to the theory that alicornhood also draws on a lost fourth pony tribe who have an innate talent for patience, Twilight Sparkle managed to not bite Trixie. But she did have to grind her teeth together. For a moment, she crossed her eyes in an attempt to read what was written on her forehead. Realizing that was futile, she summoned a mirror from within her castle with a flash of magic (leaving Spike giving a gunshow to a blank wall) and levitated it before her, examining the writing.

"T, R, I... X-I-E. Hm."

"Trixie," Trixie agreed, nodding to herself. She couldn't see the expression on Twilight's face, blocked by the backside of the mirror, but didn't like the slight edge of humor creeping in. Maybe Twilight was misinterpreting the heart she'd added as something other than a show of mockery? Trixie wasn't sure what else it could be read as, though.

"Trixie." The mirror disappeared in another flash of magic, leaving in its place a concerned Princess. "Do you... not know how to spell your name?"

"What."

She changed tack. "What does your name mean, Trixie?"

"Well, of course it means... good at tricks! Like, magic tricks!" Trixie turned and, with a yank from her teeth, revealed her cutie mark, plainly underlining the statement.

Twilight nodded. "Yes. trɪksi; 1. full of tricks; 2. difficult to handle," she defined, giving multiple definitions for completeness's sake alone. "Except it's spelled... T-R-I-C-K-S-Y." She strung together the letters with the diction of somepony who'd considered spelling bees a sport as a filly.

"What?" Trixie said. "No it isn't. Why would it be spelled like that?"

"... Because the etymology is trick + sy? Wait, how do you spell trick?"

"T-R-I-K, of course," Trixie replied, nodding to herself.

Twilight stared at her. "Trixie, when you said you learned everything you know from a street magician, exactly how literal were you being?"

The showmare shuffled her hooves. "... Trixie would like to speak to her attorney."

Twilight looked around. Apparently Starlight had snuck off at some point, unwilling to get stuck between the two in an argument. She let her voice retreat to a gentler tone. "Trixie, if you ever need, uh... lessons, then-"

"Aghhh!" Trixie shrieked in frustration, leaving her wagon unattended as she turned and fled toward the sun setting over the park. "This isn't the last you'll see of me, Twilight Sparkle!" she declared, falling over when she raised a hoof to shake, then picking herself up and continuing on until she vanished over the hill.

"... You literally live in the castle..." Twilight said, to thin air.

"Well, she lives in her wagon. She just sleeps over in the castle," Starlight responded, appearing out of said thin air.

Twilight leapt back with a yelp, then composed herself. "Starlight," she nodded. "Uh... What'cha got there?"

"Oh, this?" Starlight asked, levitating a stack of forms alongside her. "Legal name change application."

"No."

Author's Note

saw someone say trixie's name is really weird by pony standards and was like hey what if it Isn't, Actually. now this

sorry i give her such a hard time constantly. i love her i promise