One Day at a Time

Always keep your mind on the why.

Oddly enough, it was Iron Will’s voice that kept echoing in Fluttershy’s head as she waited for her friends to arrive. It had been years since she’d been taken in by his seminars, but she had grown enough to realize that not everything was black and white.

Even pompous, overly-muscled egomaniacs sometimes had a grain or two of wisdom.

She was distracting herself, she realized, and took a breath that shook as much with excitement as it did with nervous fear.

Oddly enough the fear wasn’t as bad as she thought it might be.

Interesting.

The map room in the Castle of Friendship was still empty, though, and it was making her hooves twitch. Sure, she’d showed up twenty minutes early, but she’d thought…

“I’m here!”

Fluttershy heard Twilight’s voice even before her ears registered the pop of teleportation. She smiled at the familiar flustered, overworked look on Twilight’s muzzle.

“I’m late, aren’t I? I was sure I’d be late, even though I…”

“Twilight.”

It wasn’t always the best to head Twilight’s rants off before they even built up steam, but Fluttershy was spending enough time with Twilight to know when it was safe. “You’re fifteen minutes early. Thank you again for coming and supporting me in this.” A change of subject wouldn’t hurt either.

“What? Of course I came,” Twilight’s expression still betrayed nervousness, but a kind of excitement too. A mirror for Fluttershy’s own thoughts, perhaps. “I believe in you, Fluttershy. And maybe what you’re planning is a little…unorthodox, but I think it’s well-intentioned. You’re taking all the safety precautions, and you have me to watch out for you. I’ve gone over your plans a hundred times, and everything’s being done safely, sanely, and with informed consent.”

“Now we just have to convince everypony else.”

“You know,” Twilight said. “You could still keep this private. Just between you and…”

“Twilight,” Fluttershy said, her voice firm. “I think it’s only fair if I ask. You know they’ll say yes. And they’ll even be sad if we don’t ask.”

“I know,” Twilight said after a pause. “It’s just…”

She never got to finish. The doors to the map room burst open as Pinkie Pie dashed in. Applejack was close on her hooves.

“Heya, Twi! Hey, Fluttershy! Pinkie cheered as she bounced in, assuming her seat in a languid sort of pose that only she could find comfortable on the tall stone thrones, her front half leaning against the right arm while her hindhooves dangled over the left. “What’s up?”

“Reckon we wanna wait for everypony,” Applejack noted, taking a slightly more normal seat on her own throne. “Dash’ll dart in at the last minute, and Rares’ll wanna be fashionably late. Dunno when that’ll be. Or even what it is.”

“Silly Applejack, fashionably late is just like normal late, but it’s a pony like Rarity doing it,” Pinkie giggled, while Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Any chance we could get a hint at what this is all about?” Applejack asked, her eyes drifting to Fluttershy’s.

Fluttershy opened her mouth. It was suddenly bone dry.

“Let her tell it when everypony is here,” Twilight said. She was calm and in control, but Fluttershy knew she’d been nervous earlier. Perhaps that was just a part of being a princess. Applejack shrugged at the response and settled into her seat to wait.

They didn’t have to wait that long.

“I’m here!”

Rainbow was next, dashing in so fast she’d left her familiar rainbow contrail behind her. Fluttershy realized that was probably why Pinkie and Applejack left the door open. “Am I late?”

“Two minutes early,” Twilight noted, and Rainbow Dash chuckled as she flapped over to her seat.

“Heh. Even beat Rarity. Nice.”

“Not exactly an accomplishment, darling,” Rarity said, right behind her. Of the six of them, Rarity was the only one who was dressed, wearing an off-shoulder long pink sweater, and paler pink socks. On her head was a cute beret. “You are the fastest one, after all.”

Rainbow preened a little in pride.

“So what’s the deets? Spill, Twi,” Rainbow demanded, as Rarity made her way to her own seat, dantilly settling herself.

“This isn’t my show, it’s Fluttershy’s,” Twilight said, nodding Fluttershy’s way.

She tried to moisten her mouth as five pairs of eyes suddenly bored into her. She gulped dry air as she looked at each of her friends.

Their expressions are curious, not judgemental, she told herself. Your friends care about you. They want you to succeed.

She was getting better at this. It still wasn’t easy. She took a few deep breaths to ground herself, focusing on the sensation of the air pulling into her lungs, the feel of her chest inflating.

“I asked you here because I am going to try something adventurous,” she began, amazed that her voice didn’t come out as a squeak. “A plan I came up with to try and… break myself out of a rut. Romantically and… and s-sexually.”

Pinkie gasped. Rainbow’s jaw dropped. But Rarity and Applejack looked on calmly, waiting. Rarity’s expression was even encouraging.

“The reason I’m telling this to all of you is because I don’t want anypony worrying about me if they see me behaving in… strange ways. I am not asking for your help, or your participation, unless you are interested. Princess Twilight has agreed to help me on this journey, to make sure everything is done safely and in proper order. But I’m doing this for the right reasons. I want to explore, I want to feel and enjoy, I want to spread my wings and learn about myself.”

“Pardon me, darling, but you still haven’t told us exactly what you’re doing,” Rarity said, as Rainbow slowly managed to pry her jaw off the table.

“There’s a… a thing. In October. A list of…” Fluttershy gulped, and finally forced the words out. “F-f-fetishes. Kinks. I’m taking vacation for that month, letting Discord watch the animals, and every day I’m going to try a new…”

She paused, still struggling with the words.

“...um. A new sex thing.”

That got a much stronger reaction. Rainbow was up and out of her seat, hovering. Applejack and Rarity were both leaning forward on the table, and Pinkie zoomed forward to glare at her in the eye.

“Okay, who let the changeling replace Fluttershy?” Rainbow muttered.

“N-no,” Fluttershy said, before Twilight could leap to her defense. “It is me. This is what I really want. And I just want to let you all know for… for safety reasons. And…and, well, for those of you who are interested, to maybe explore some of these… games with me.”

“Darling,” Rarity said, gently lifting Pinkie with her magic and depositing her back in her own chair so she could look Fluttershy in the eye without having to stare at an obtrusive pink plot. “I applaud your… boldness and adventurous spirit, but I am… passingly familiar with this Kinktober thing. It is a game for artists, dear. To explore impractical, unrealistic fantasies. Not meant to be acted out.”

“I am aware,” Fluttershy said with a confidence she didn’t feel. “That is why Twilight is helping me with the logistics of it all. We’re doing enough research and study to make this completely safe. There’s also some on the l-list that I’ve already planned to enjoy as an observer, not a participant.” Twilight was nodding along. “That, and… well, any of you that would like to participate, too. I know we’re all… compatible.”

Nopony was spared the blush that followed. They didn’t talk about it much, but the last time Applejack had brought some of her namesake liquor to a group sleepover at the palace, the drunken shenanigans that ensued had proved that they were all very sexually compatible with each other.

By mutual unspoken consent they had agreed not to discuss that night much, until today. Fluttershy was breaking the taboo.

“If you’re not comfortable with the idea, that’s fine,” she continued, as none of the six would meet each other’s eyes. “But if you want to…”

“Why don’t y’all give us the list,” Applejack interrupted. “I don’t suppose we can really say if we dunno what’s on it, right?”

There were mutters of ascent all around, and Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief. Embarrassed curiosity was better than rejection, right?

“They’re interested,” Twilight whispered in Fluttershy’s ear. Her breath tickled the fur, and Fluttershy gave a little shiver. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the subject matter, but the intimacy of the communication did things to Fluttershy that made her think of what was coming. “Here, I’ll show them the list.”

“What do you think, Pinkie dear?”

Rarity and Pinkie Pie weren’t moving very quickly as they walked back to Sugar Cube Corner. Rarity felt the need for something bracing after that conversation, and Pinkie had offered to make her a hot chocolate with a little something stronger and off-menu inside.

For both of them, probably.

“Hmm,” Pinkie said, bouncing alongside her. “It’s…weird. Like, not bad weird but weird weird, you know?”

“I know exactly how you feel,” Rarity said. She, too, had been unable to fully articulate her reactions. “It's not the fetish play I object to. Celestia knows I've gotten up to my own share of naughty fun. It is... simply not what I expected. I mean, she does appear confident. Well, confident for Fluttershy, at least. And Twilight is there. Hmm. Did you see the looks Twilight was giving her the entire time?”

“Ohoho,” Pinkie chuckled. “I certainly did! Do you think Fluttershy realizes?”

“She might,” Rarity said, her tail swishing with amusement. “She’s not dense. Do you think perhaps part of why Twilight is helping is because she wishes to be…” Rarity purses her lips and smirks. “...closely and intimately involved in Fluttershy’s exploration?”

Pinkie giggles. “My theory is that Fluttershy is trying to find a passive aggressive way to recreate the last time Applejack brought hard cider to a sleepover.”

Rarity felt her face heating up, but the idea had merit.

“You think that perhaps she’s trying to overcome her inhibitions, while also pushing past some of our own?”

“Why not?” Pinkie said, her voice low and husky, even though she, too, was pinker than usual. “M-maybe we n-need a little shove.”

They had reached Sugar Cube Corner. Rarity stopped, turning to look at Pinkie. Pinkie looked back. They were both blushing. Rarity’s heart pounded in her ears as half-remembered passion flitted through her mind, obscured by the haze of alcohol-shrouded memory.

“Maybe we do, darling. Tell me, would you mind if I…came up for a moment?”

“It’s crazy.”

Rainbow was flying lazily above Applejack, doing slow rolls and twists, ailerons and barrels and whatever else she needed to in order to push out some of her energy as Applejack slowly moved back to the farm.

“Eeyup.”

“She’s lost her mind.”

“Don’t reckon she has,” Applejack drawled.

Rainbow froze, dipping for a moment as she forgot to flap. “Okay, you’ve lost your mind.”

“Nah,” Applejack said. “Hear me out. Sumpin’ called ‘xposure therapy’. Gettin’ over all your hangups by forcing yourself to face them.”

“So like that week you ate nothing but strawberries.”

“Eeyup.”

They reached the top of the last hill that blocked their view to Sweet Apple Acres. Apple trees were heavy with fruit, nearly ready to begin the harvest. Rainbow eyed them, feeling an odd sort of anticipation. She’d help this year, she knew, and while hard manual labor wasn’t usually her forte, working alongside Applejack had it’s own sort of appeal.

“But still,” she said, “You’re goin’ along with this?”

“Reckon I’ll help her when she asks, too.”

Suddenly Rainbow Dash’s head was filled with images. Some of them were memory of a night they’d all never talked about. Half-remembered images, yellow entwined with orange, passionate cries filling the air. But there was more. Imagined scenes. Potential futures. The kinds that made her tail flag and her heart beat harder.

“Y-you will?”

Applejack turned and looked sharply at Rainbow Dash.

“I will. And I think I know what else Fluttershy is trying to get done, too. Not just for her, but for all of us.”

Rainbow’s mind couldn’t think too hard about that. She gulped. “D-dunno what you’re…”

“Can’t just come out and say what you want? Fine. Gimme that list.”

Rainbow’s hoof felt like lead as she passed over the list. It felt like a hot coal in her hoof.

Applejack snatched it up, her eyes drifting over the things on the list. She retrieved a pencil from somewhere and plopped down on the side of the road.

“Eenope. No. Hah! Not a chance. Not likely. Eenope.”

Her pencil trailed down the list before she finally nodded firmly, handing it back to Rainbow.

“Since you’re being dense, I’ll spell it out for you. Here.”

Rainbow woodenly looked at the list. Only about a third of the entries, the kinks, were crossed out. The rest were left as is… and a few were circled.

“Th-these are the ones you’re willing to help Fluttershy with?” Rainbow asked. Her heart beat even harder, and her imagination went berserk. Her tail popped up entirely, a flag signaling for all the world how she felt about the situation, despite her confusion and worry.

“Nah. Those are the ones I’m willing to try with you. And if you’re fast enough to beat me home, y’all might get number eleven tonight.”

Rainbow’s stunned gaze moved from Applejack, to the list, then back to Applejack again. Applejack had simply turned away and was trotting towards the farmhouse, her own tail flagged to show off her deliberately swaying hips.

Rainbow dropped the list, forgotten. She was, in fact, fast enough.

Even though all their friends had gone off to digest what had happened, Fluttershy’s heart still felt like it was trying to pound its way out of her chest.

“That went…well,” Twilight said, carefully.

“Mmhmm,” Fluttershy said, leaning back on her throne. She allowed a small smile to spread across her muzzle.

“I think Rainbow’s going to need a touch of convincing, but the others seem on board. And Rarity looked eager. You know, I’ll bet we could even get Rainbow involved day one.”

“I think you’re right,” Fluttershy said. Day one had her worried. All the days had her worried. But worry was the constant state of her being. She was used to it; she simply wouldn’t let it stop her any longer.

“If you’re…”

There was that hesitance in Twilight’s voice. That bit of concern, maybe a touch overprotective at times, that made Fluttershy feel paradoxically annoyed and comforted.

“Twilight.”

Fluttershy opened her eyes. Twilight was still in her throne at the map table, but was leaning forward. There was worry in her eyes, and something else.

That wouldn’t do. The whole point of this exercise was to make them all more comfortable with each other.

Well, one of the points.

Fluttershy rose from her seat, fluttering her wings so she could fly directly over the table and land next to a surprised looking Twilight.

“Hey,” she said softly, then in a rush of boldness, leaned forward and nuzzled her. “Are you okay with all of this?”

She held Twilight’s gaze with her own. Not the Stare, of course. But the Stare’s younger, gentler cousin. Twilight gulped and stared back.

“It’s not about me, this is your…”

“Twilight,” Fluttershy interrupted.

Twilight gulped again.

“I’m worried about you, of course. Sure, we’re taking all the safety precautions, and your boundaries are written out—”

“In triplicate, as per your insistence,” Fluttershy giggled.

“--and you’ve memorized your safewords, and of course I’ll be there as often as I can either as an observer or a p-p-participant—”

“Your boundaries are important too,” Fluttershy said, but Twilight quickly shook her head so fervently that Fluttershy realized she’d erred.

“That’s not it. I’m just…nervoucited,” Twilight admitted, finally giving in with a small, watery smile. “Maybe worse than you are.”

Fluttershy took a guess, leaning a little closer. Her heart pounded.

“So. Which day are you most looking forward to?”

Twilight let out a little squeak. Fluttershy smiled. She never pushed things too far, but sometimes it was nice to get a little rise out of Twilight.

“U-uh, well, I’ve only ever c-considered the l-list from an academic standpoint, l-l-looking at the logistics of the whole thing, n-not thinking about the…”

“Which day, Twilight?” Fluttershy felt a surge of elation at the reaction she was eliciting. Twilight looked flustered, yes. Embarrassed, perhaps. But she didn’t look scared.

“Y-you know, as an outsider to this wh-whole thing, I…”

“Which day?” Fluttershy whispered, and Twilight squeaked again.

“D-day four,” she breathed out.

“Okay,” Fluttershy said, feeling giddy as she leaned back, grinning. “I’ll make sure that one’s for you.”

Twilight was breathing hard, and her wings were extended stiffly out to either side. Slowly she smiled.

“Yeah? Okay, I’ll hold you to that. N-now,” and she fanned herself with a wing tip. “We do still have some plans to make, especially if we’re going to approach Rainbow about day one. And a supply run, too… Ponyville doesn’t exactly have a sex shop quite yet. Some of the days we’ll have to outsource, I have an idea about a place in Manehatten…”

Fluttershy let Twilight’s voice wash over her as she looked at the list. So many words. So many adventures.

The little shiver that went down her spine had nothing to do with fear.