A Derpy Pony Doesn't Take a Fall Lightly
I was sitting on my balcony, smoking a cigarette while overlooking the snowy city. The thick gray clouds cast a cold yet comforting darkness over the city. The snow in the air was thin and falling slowly, shrouding most of the city behind a thin screen of frozen water. The power was out, unfortunately, giving the entire city a more unreal feeling. When you live in the city, the flashing lights, honking horns, and overwhelming light pollution become the norm, and you don't question it. However, sitting out on my balcony on the 21st floor of my apartment building, overlooking the dark, quiet city with nothing but the gentle gust of wind changed my opinion fast. If it weren't for the biting cold, I wouldn't mind if the power stayed off all day.
I took another draw of my cig, breathing the acrid smoke from my nose and watching it get lost in the snowy breeze. I close my eyes and just admire the calming atmosphere. The gentle whispering wind blew across me, bathing my body in a comforting chill. The occasional distant rumble of thunder caught me off guard at first, but I let it become normal. Just the overall peacefulness of this situation was perfect. The rhythmic flapping of wings that stopped by my balcony- wait, what?
Peeking through my closed eyes netted me a full view of a pony with wings now balancing on my balcony's guardrails. It slips off the rails and falls to the floor of my balcony with an audible oomph, and its mismatched golden eyes briefly lock with mine. I glance down at the cigarette between my fingers, wondering what the hell became of tobacco and nicotine. Swiftly, the pony stands back in its, no, her hooves and brushes away her yellow mane from her eyes. Now that she's standing up and looking at me, I can tell that she is a very vivid hallucination, as she seems almost lifelike despite also partially resembling a cartoon character.
There was a short staring contest that ensued, one that I quickly lost as a sneeze made me close my eyes. This caused the pegasus pony to giggle like a little child.
"What's so funny?" I asked, not expecting a response. My voice was ragged and old-sounding, despite only being 37 years old.
"Your sneeze. It was funny!" The pony responded, much to my surprise and shock.
Okay, so I'm probably high. That means that my cigarettes have been drugged and I need to buy a new carton. My thoughts quickly hung onto this explanation. Well, might as well ride it out.
"Well, gee, thanks," I mutter, rubbing my nose and flicking away the mostly used cig. The pony watched it disappear over the rails.
"You're welcome!" She chirped with enthusiasm. What, is she stupid? A quick look at her crossed-eyed gaze told me that I was probably not far from the truth. I sigh and shake my head.
"You… what even are you?" I ask, slowly standing up from my frozen chair. My back protested at the sudden change.
"I'm a pony. I'm also a pegasus!" The pony, also a pegasus, answered cheerfully, and she almost made me jealous about her seemingly endless enthusiasm.
"Yeah, cool…" I reply, opening my sliding glass door and walking inside. The pony seemed to lower her ears in thought as she stared at the glass door.
"Can I come in?" She eventually asked, to which I reluctantly agreed.
"Why not?" As I say that, the pony rushes in. I am quick to get my next words out. "And don't break anything, which means no running-" The sound of something breaking told me that I wasn't quick enough. Looking up and around my dark apartment, I find the pony sitting next to a broken glass cup, her ears and head lowered in shame. I sigh and shake my head.
"I'm sorry, mister… I'm just, I'm naturally clumsy, and I-" I hold out a hand to stop her. As much as I hate to say it, seeing this pony sad tugged at my heartstrings in a certain way.
"It's just a glass cup, no need to worry. Just… don't run in my apartment anymore." The pony's mood brightened significantly, and I almost expected her to start producing light. She nodded quickly and enthusiastically. "Say, do you have a name?"
Her eyes widened. "I do! My name is Ditzy Doo, but many ponies call me Derpy Hooves because of my clumsiness…" That seemed to slightly dampen her mood. "You can call me whatever you want, Mister…?"
"Adam. Adam Walker. It's nice to meet you, Ditzy." I hold out a hand to Ditzy, and I can see many things happen at once. First, she smiles widely. Second, she tears up. Finally, she meets my hand with her hoof and gently shakes it.
"Thank you, Mister Walker," Ditzy says warmly. Despite this being a drug-induced hallucination, the emotions that I feel are feeling very real. Putting on a not-so-fake smile, I softly shake my head.
"Please, call me Adam."
It was now 4 hours later, and I knew that whatever drugs I was on should've worn off by now. So why was Ditzy Doo eating Animal Crackers on my sofa? Well, I'm not exactly complaining. Watching her laugh at kids' shows is pretty cute in a sort of way. Speaking of which, the power had come back on. So here I was, sitting in my living room on my laptop researching about Pegasi who fly in from winter storms and start to watch kids' shows. Needless to say, I got a suggestion to visit a mental health professional.
Ditzy started to giggle at another scene from Spongebob Squarepants, so I looked up to see her lying upside-down on my couch, staring at the TV with a large smile on her face.
"Hey, Ditzy." At my voice, one of her eyes looked over to me, but the other curiously stayed glued to the TV.
"What's up?" She asked, smiling at me.
"Do you have any idea on how you… you got here?" I asked this in hopes of getting a lead on my research.
"I flew here. Duh." And I was also the stupid one to not expect a response like this from Ditzy.
"Yes, I know, but what I mean is… well… what were you doing before you got here?" This time, I was guaranteed to get a good answer.
"I was watching an air show with my friends! It was so cool, you should've seen it!" Ditzy rolled over on the couch, now upright and facing me.
"Was it the Blue Angels?" I asked stupidly.
"Nuh-uh. It was the Wonderbolts, and Rainbow Dash was there too!" Ditzy had this stupidly big grin on her face.
I took a moment to process this information. "Uh… who is… Rainbow Flash or whoever?"
Ditzy's jaw dropped like she had seen a ghost. "You don't know!?"
I felt like I had just woken up something that should've stayed asleep. "...no?" And of course, I had to add fuel to the fire.
"Well, hold your haunches, because this will be a long one!" Ditzy took a deep breath. "So! Rainbow Dash is this awesome mare who can…!"
She was right. This was going to be a long one, I could feel it.
"... and then she performed the Sonic Rainboom, and next thing you know, I'm flying toward your apartment!" Ditzy finally finished, and I surprised myself… because I had not only stayed awake throughout her 30-minute rant, but I had listened to every last word. Needless to say, this Rainbow Dash sounds like an awesome person, pony, gah.
I nodded. "So, you're saying that Rainbow Dash performed this… 'Sonic Rainboom' and it's the reason why you're here?" She nodded vigorously. I sighed. "Unless this explosion tore a hole in reality, then I just don't know how that would be possible."
"Magic!"
"Yeah, sure… magic." Though, it felt like it could be the truth. Hell, I had living, breathing, and speaking proof that magic could exist, if her words about unicorns are anything to go by. Plus, she had wings, so she's already a creature that shouldn't exist.
Ditzy idly hummed to herself, staring at the TV as it spat out advertisements and the like. Now that I think about it… when was the last time I spoke to anybody like this? Well, it didn't matter. I had research to do.
I searched for 'Rainbow Dash'... and surprise, surprise, there was no result. I tried the Sonic Rainboom next and to my shock and horror… there was still no result. I inwardly sighed and closed my laptop, staring at my wall clock—9:46 PM. Damn, here I was thinking that it was the next day already.
“So…” I began again. Ditzy looked back over to me. “Are you going to sleep here… or, you got another place…?” I trailed off after realizing how stupid I sounded.
“Well, I don’t really understand how to go back home yet… so yeah! I’ll stay here… if that’s alright with you?” Ditzy had pleading eyes, or at least, one of them was looking at me pleadingly.
Would it really hurt to keep this pony in my apartment? Sure, it would be extra groceries and stuff, but ponies eat grass, right? I know there is a park somewhere nearby, but was it really smart to bring a possibly mythological creature that spoke out into public? I found that I kept getting more questions than answers. Even if I hated it, which I didn’t, I found myself growing attached to Ditzy. Something about her was rather… charming. She was also great conversation material, even if she was a bit sarcastic. So, more food, more work. Sounds bad, but the reward?
A good friend.
“I’d be happy to have you, Ditzy.” I smile, feeling confident about my answer. Something I did not expect was to have her fly onto me, hugging me tightly. Maybe this meant more to her than I thought. Whatever, I hugged her back.
“Thank you, Adam…” She silently thanked.
“You’re welcome.” I patted her back, staring outside of the window and out toward the city. One day, she will leave to go back to her world. But for now? Why don’t I make our friendship-to-be count?
