Snails has a secret: a secret power only he can wield, a secret batch of knowledge only he can grasp, a whole secret world over which he rules as an absolute monarch.

Secret except, y'know, it's right there on his flanks. And I'm getting pretty sick and tired of it making that bean-brain act like a complete and total jackass!

No offense to any donkeys reading this...

An entry in Imposing Sovereigns IV, using the prompt Snails/Knowledge (Or Lack Thereof), this story received an Honorable Mention!