Entry 1: Dreaming the Life, and then Entering Equestria
Pre-recount note: Hello, Lolguy 2 here, and what I’m about to tell you is completely true. I have not gone insane, nor have I been put on anything. I’m a bit too young for that. Anyway, this is going to sound crazy, but right now I’m in Equestria. Yeah. Well, my story will be told to you in first person present tense, and all of it happened today. (AN: Actually, this is an experiment of in-character writing. This is a self-insert, told how me in the story said, and all reviews should be written in brackets or parentheses like this is, except that they should also be bold. You can also ask questions in-universe, as this will be posted as a story up on the in-universe FIMfiction, through means which you won’t know until the story starts. Also, the questions will have an effect on the story, so you can ask me to do something and I will or won’t do it, and you can ask a question and I’ll answer it. So, all my fellow Bronies and Pegasisters, REJOICE! FOR THE GREAT JOURNEY TO EQUESTRIA COMETH- *cough cough* sorry, been playing a bit too much Halo recently, and if anyone says Halo is gay, remember, we’re BRONIES, for Celestia’s sake(not that there’s anything wrong with gay things, of course). So, begin this story!)
~~~~Cloudsdale~~~~
I stare down the meanies who bullied Fluttershy. They’re big mean bullies. Right then they challenged me to a challenge. “What do you have in mind?” I smirk arrogantly. The bullies smirk.
“A race,” the older one of them says.
----A few minutes later after frantic dreaming, ???----
I wake up. Huh. That was a weird dream. I dreamt that I was Rainbow Dash before My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic started. Now what was weird, and believe this, was that it was extremely detailed - like extremely. I remember what Dash’s birthday was, her favourite place, and all her presents up until then, when she was six and 2 months, when the day of the Sonic Rainboom event finished, I woke up. It actually seemed more like memories than a dream. Now to get up- WAIT, WHERE AM I? I can feel the dirt on my feet (Not that I mind that, due to not wearing shoes a lot of the time around home), and I’m pretty sure that’s not left over from yesterday. I look around, but it’s completely black.
In other words, simply lovely.
Oh well, at least my bishop is still there.
I check my pockets, and feel something in there. It feels like… like my phone! I take out my phone, and press the button. It lights up, and it looks… a little different. Its charge meter is blue. And full. I don’t know what that means, considering I have an LG Optimus 1, which doesn’t have anything about a blue bar. Not to mention that all the bars, which are blue. I hear a growl behind me. I turn around, very slowly, and shine my phone over that area. A giant bear growls at me, stars dotting its skin. Now, I don’t know about you, but three things are going through my head at this moment. The first is ‘Holy crab, is that an Ursa Minor?’ The second is ‘This means I’m in Equestria, and probably near Ponyville, since Ursas are in the Everfree forest! Awesome!’ The third thought is the most compelling one, however. It’s ‘RUN AWAY!’ So I do. I run in a random direction, and the bear growls. Luckily, I chose the right direction, because I can see the cave mouth. Wait, already? Wow, I feel a lot faster than I used to. The Ursa is already really far behind me. Wait… the Ursa’s moving a lot faster! Darn it! I didn’t know Ursa minors could sprint! I’ve gotta get to the closest place there is!
My instincts tell me to turn left. I see a hut, but it’s extremely far away! I can’t get there before the Ursa gets me! But then, a few muscles that weren’t there before start to flex. I see the ground fly away from me… Wait a second… that’s not the ground flying away from me! I’m flying! I do a raspberry at the Ursa, and fly towards the hut at my fastest. And, boy, am I fast! When this happens, I feel a weird buzzing on my left buttcheek. Actually, that's probably just a little bit.of pins and needles. My wings are pumping, as hard as possible. I get to the hut (which I assume is Zecora’s hut) as fast as possible, which is in ten seconds. Exactly ten seconds. Or, as a favourite character of a show which I like, or rather a pony that is my hero, would say, I got there in ten seconds flat. I land, open the door, and dash in there, as fast as I can. “Phew… I sure am glad I got there before the Ursa got me…” I breathe. However, Zecora is in there. Her eyes go wide.
“Do I hear an Ursa Minor’s cries, and see a human before my eyes?” she rhymes. I stare at her. It’s not every day you see a talking creature who looks like a miniature real zebra. Seriously, if you think you have an idea of what Zecora looks like, discard that immediately. She looks exactly like a real zebra, although smaller, with a more emotive and humanlike face, and different eyes, and not to mention her cutie mark and accessories. When you see Equestria for yourself, it looks a lot more realistic… Anyway, she stares at me. I stare at her.
“Uhh… Sorry for barging into your house?” I say awkwardly, chuckling and rubbing the back of my head. She shakes her head.
“Why is it that everyone I meet here must barge into my house in some sort of fear?” she rhymes in a huff. Whoa, I didn’t even know it was physically possible to rhyme in a huff. But then, she looks at me slightly differently. “And this human has a rainbow mane! That takes me on a trip down memory lane…”
I’m confused, to say the least. First, why would Zecora say it takes her on a trip down memory lane? Second, I have rainbow hair? “What do you mean, rainbow mane??” I ask her.
“If you do not know how you look yourself, gaze into this mirror settled upon my shelf,” she rhymes helpfully, pointing at a mirror. I look into it. Wait, my hair is rainbow coloured? AWESOME! AND I have these awesome cyan wings! This is 20% cooler than anything I’ve ever seen before! They make me look like Rainbow Dash! Although I need a shirt with openings for wings, however, since I can’t just have tears in my shirt all the time like I have today. Maybe I could get Rarity to make one for me? “But I would advise against going to Ponyville, you look similar to a friend of ours who died on a hill. They were fighting an evil, monstrous, unrelenting enemy, and he killed her on a hill because she was their key to victory.” Oh… Rainbow Dash is dead… that’s really sad… I, I almost feel like crying, but I don’t, only mourn quietly s-since that’s what little kids d-do. “They defeated the evil with time to be had, but her yesterday death was still extremely sad. The town do not know this yet, but I do, as I was her replacement.” She’s too sad for rhyming? That’s… something.
“Don’t worry, uhh…?” I say, because if I said her name she would probably be suspicious.
“Zecora,” she says, sadly.
“Don’t worry, Zecora. I bet your friend would want you to be happy instead of worry about her, and she’s probably watching happily from the afterlife.” Suddenly, I hear a roaring noise from outside. “Oh crab forgot about the Ursa Minor, we better run!” I pick up Zecora and run outside. She’s not that heavy actually, and I carry her easily. I unfurl my wings, and take off.
Zecora points in a direction. “Ponyville is over there,” she says. Wow, she must really be in a deep blue funk if she doesn’t rhyme. I fly over in the direction, as fast as I can, and soon reach Fluttershy’s hut. I land down in front of it, and set Zecora down. “Thank you,” she says. I knock on the door. The Ursa Minor is going a lot faster than before! She better hurry!
The Ursa keeps coming at us. I knock frantically on the door. Oh crab! This can’t be happening! I get on my knees and start praying on one side of the door, and Zecora starts chanting that nursery rhyme she sang in Bridle Gossip. Suddenly, the door opens, and I see Fluttershy. She looks angry. She… oh gosh, she’s using the stare. She glares angrily at the Ursa Minor, and says “WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, YOUNG MAN? Your mother would be ashamed of you! Going after some poor innocent ponies! If you want to eat, then you should be back home with a giant bottle of milk rather than here chasing after and eating these innocent ponies!” The Ursa looks sheepish. It starts crying, and runs back to its cave. Silence.
“That… Was… AWESOME!” I yell. “I mean, you really showed that Ursa your stuff! You’re really cool! Say, what’s your name?” At first, Fluttershy squeaks and recoils, but then she looks at me… and gasps.
“A human!” she says in bliss while bounding over to me. “Wow, I thought I would never see a human ever! All my books say they’re extinct, but it looks like that’s not true! Oh, this is so amazing! My name is Fluttershy, by the way, and you can stay with me if you want to!” I blush slightly. “Oh, and it blushes! How cute!” she preens over me. Okayyyyy… this is getting really creepy. I back off, and then run. Phew, I’ve got away from her. Suddenly, she pops up in front of me. “Oh, leaving so soon? Don’t you wanna stay and tell me what it’s like being bipedal and having prehensile digits? I’m asking you because I’ve never seen your kind before.” GAAAAAH! When she’s fan-girling over animals, she’s almost as creepy as Pinkie is sometimes! I fly up, and fly away, but she somehow manages to keep up with me. Darn it! I just wanna get away from here as fast as I can! I just go back to the house, and go into it.
Oh! Before I go in… “Zecora?” I ask. “Can you get Fluttershy to calm down before she comes in? She’s getting kind of creepy…” Zecora nods. I go into Fluttershy’s house, and wait for a few minutes.
----A few minutes later----
Fluttershy and Zecora come in. “Look, Mister human, I’m really sorry for what I did, okay? Sorry, I didn’t mean to be creepy! I’m really sorry!” says Fluttershy quietly while cringing. I nod.
“Apology accepted. Oh, and I’m sorry for scaring you when I yelled out then. I didn’t mean to. Sorry…” I say, apologising to Fluttershy. She nods shyly. She then looks at me a little closer than she did before.
“Wings? I read that humans didn’t have wings, let alone cyan ones.” And then she looks at my hair. “Rainbow hair? With your personality, and wings, and hair, you remind me of someone I knew…” she trails off sadly. I blink. Oh Celestia, what have I done?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to remind you of your friend,” I say sadly, Fluttershy still crying. I hug her. She sniffles, and cries a bit more.
“Her name was Rainbow Dash,” I think I hear quietly. I perk up.
“What was that?” I ask. I think I heard it right, I just gotta confirm it…
“I said her name was Rainbow Dash,” says Fluttershy, slightly louder, confirming my suspicions. “I’ve read that humans have weird names unlike pony names. I want you to take her name.” I blink. Did I hear right? Somehow reading my mind, Fluttershy nods slightly. “You heard me right. Ponies sometimes pass on their names down to younger generations, when those ponies die. I want you to take the name Rainbow Dash.” I smile slightly.
“Hopefully I’ll live up to her name,” I say proudly. So, I’m the new Rainbow Dash. Literally, rather than the way Spike was, considering my new name is Rainbow Dash.
“I think my friends will want to meet you,” says Fluttershy, back to her normal timid tone. I smirk. So do I. And I wanna meet them too. I mean, an exchange of wits with the amazingly intelligent Twilight Sparkle, meeting the fabulous Lady Rarity (and trolling her), meeting Spike the dragon and playing proper rock paper scissors with him, meeting Applejack and telling her I’m scared of fruit, and meeting the… well, outlandish and random Pinkie Pie, as there are some people on earth as random as her, so I won’t really have to mind.
There’s one thing on my mind, though. “Do you have any food?” I ask Fluttershy. You see, if you’ve read James Patterson’s ‘Maximum Ride’ series, you’ll get my drift, but, if not, then let me explain. Since I’ve just became half-human, half-bird, that means my metabolism will be a lot faster than previously, and that means that I have to eat a lot more, as flying takes up a LOT more energy than you would expect.
After-Entry Note: So, this just happened, and I’m in the middle of eating right now. Fluttershy is watching me type this on my phone, so I’m gonna have to finish up soon. She’s probably going to bring me to see the other mane six, or mane 5, sadly. I can’t believe Rainbow is dead… I really wanna see what happened to that bad guy who killed her. See ya later, gotta go! Flutters is calling for me to go and meet her friends, and after that I’ll probably pay my respects to the original Rainbow, since my name was changed, you know?