She knows he'll read it...
In the bustling world of Canterlot High School, where magic and friendship intertwined, Twilight Sparkle found herself on a mission that she couldn't quite believe. She had always considered herself an aficionado of fanfiction, especially the works that revolved around the magical world of Equestria, but what she had discovered left her both perplexed and concerned. Her closest friend, Rainbow Dash, had been up to some rather unusual antics. Twilight had to investigate.
Twilight knocked on the front door of Rainbow Dash's house, her curiosity driving her to get to the bottom of this strange situation. Rainbow Dash, a cool and confident athlete, opened the door with her usual swagger. She raised an eyebrow at Twilight's quizzical expression.
"Hey, Twilight, what's up?" Rainbow Dash greeted her with a warm smile.
"Rainbow, can I come in? I need to talk to you about something," Twilight replied, casting a quick glance around Rainbow's cozy house.
"Sure, come on in," Rainbow Dash said, stepping aside to allow Twilight entry.
As they settled into Rainbow's living room, Twilight couldn't help but notice Rainbow's laptop open on the coffee table, a screen full of text that seemed to be a fanfiction story in progress.
"Rainbow, what are you writing here?" Twilight asked, her eyes narrowing as she read a few lines of the story. It seemed to be a mishmash of characters and plotlines, all intentionally disjointed and bizarre.
Rainbow Dash chuckled, leaning back in her chair. "Oh, this? This is just some garbage fanfiction I've been working on for the past couple of weeks."
Twilight raised an eyebrow, her curiosity growing. "Garbage fanfiction? Why on earth would you want to write that?"
Rainbow Dash grinned mischievously. "It's all part of a plan, Twi. See, there's this guy I used to be friends with about five years ago, and a writing site I used to use about ten years ago. The site's full of kids in adult bodies pretending garbage stories are good when they're not harassing other authors. And the former friend... He's one of those hypersensitive, failed reviewers, you know the type."
"No, not really. Rainbow, I haven't written fanfiction since I was ten."
"Oh. Well anyway, this guy, he spends his days whining about bad amateur fanfiction as if it's the end of the world. But if you asked him what makes him an expert on writing he'd get mad at you. It was kind of funny back when he mocked overhyped garbage but he got mad whenever I mocked it with him too much because he wanted to feel like he's always the biggest deal in the room. On one hand he takes fanfiction way too seriously and tries to analyze every word of it like he's the second coming of the Angry Video Game Nerd. But on the other hand he doesn't put enough effort into what he says he wants to make for me to respect him as a real creator. He just sits on the sidelines and critiques others because it's easy. He critiques bad fanfics instead of real published novels because it's easy. And if his obvious lame critiques aren't going to magically make someone a better author overnight he blames them, not what he said or how relevant it is to what anyone else wants to write. There was one time he said he was going to review a real book, Barry Trotter and the Philosopher's Scone, but he kept putting it off and putting it off until he forgot about it completely and went back to reviewing bad fanfics nobody ever heard of or cared about exclusively within his own personal circlejerk."
"Rainbow, when was the last time you showered?"
"This morning after my ten kilometer jog. Why?"
"Just curious. So what does that have to do with all those weird fanfics you've been uploading?"
"This guy... I know he's still mad at me, and I predicted exactly how he was going to react once I called him a loser to his face. So I decided to mess with him a little. The writing site he uses... I've been posting this ridiculous AI generated fanfiction full of dumb jokes and weird junk, and I know it's going to drive him nuts. He'll take every word seriously, and I'm just going to sit back and laugh at how worked up he gets."
Twilight leaned in, intrigued by Rainbow's elaborate prank. "How did you come up with this plan?"
Rainbow Dash explained, her excitement evident. "Well, I came across his latest rant about a fanfiction story and he was just... Well, it felt like he was going through the motions, like he was doing this because he felt he had to, not because he wanted to. He missed me, I could tell. Still with the way he was hyperfixating on even the dumbest of details... It struck me how absurdly seriously he takes it all. I remembered our old friendship a long time ago, and I thought it this prank would be epic. So, I made this AI pump out this weird garbage fanfiction that's so intentionally terrible it's almost a parody of his reviews."
"Who taught you how to use AI?"
"Tutorials on Hooftube."
Twilight couldn't help but chuckle at Rainbow's devious plan. "I have to admit, it's quite a creative way to get back at him. But if you walk up to his face and ask him to review all of these garbage stories he might catch on to what you're doing."
"I know. But if I dump one garbage story on him, he's going to read all the other ones out of spite."
"Well, I can't argue with that logic. But, Rainbow, don't you think you're putting a lot of effort into something that won't lead to any meaningful change or resolution?"
Rainbow Dash's expression started shifting from amusement to contemplation. "You know, you're probably right, Twi. I should be doing more important things with my life, like working on my sports career, or studying, or spending time with the people who really matter to me."
Twilight smiled, relieved that Rainbow was starting to see the bigger picture. "Exactly. It's great that you don't let that reviewer bother you, and it's kind of funny that you produced a ton of garbage for him to sift through knowing it will bother him, but maybe it's time to move on from fanfiction and focus on your passions and goals and everything that can make you feel more accomplished than the person you were yesterday."
Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement. "You're right, Twilight. I'll wrap this nonsense up and put it behind me. Thanks for helping me see the light. Although..."
"Although?"
"It doesn't really take that much effort at all. All I have to do is ask the AI to write something, whether I think it'll be dumb or not, and I get dumb garbage writing only an idiot would take seriously. A nerd would only go through that garbage with a fine-toothed comb looking for something to hold against me as a person if he was a total loser, you know? So I've been asking the AI to make garbage while doing other stuff on my epic gamer PC. One time I even accidentally left the name of the AI in my writing without realizing it, and I had to hear it from him, the nerdy reviewer guy, because he proofreads my garbage for me so I don't have to. I can't believe none of the idiots on the failed writing site noticed. But then again, they're dumber than the nerd is, which makes the nerd feel like a genius, when he's really not as smart as he thinks he is at all."
"I'm sure you could pump hundreds of thousands of words into a story without ever applying real effort, but as an amateur writer myself, I think you'd be a happier person if you tried to write something genuinely creative instead of holding on to old grudges and passing off machine-generated noise as your own work."
"Yeah. To be honest there was this one really funny stupid thing the nerd said, where he claimed I was ripping him off by critiquing a crap story he also critiqued. Like he thought he copyrighted his reasons to hate the story, and my reasons for hating the story, and the reasons spoken of in a review somebody else wrote about it long ago. He accused me of wanting to be just like him. But in truth... I really don't want to be anything like him. I forget how many years it took him to finish reviewing Fallout Equestria. If I had his work ethic I'd literally never get anything valuable done. He hates the government because it's corrupt, which is respectable, but instead of finding small ways he can make oppressing innocents and burying the truth harder for that government, he turned bitter. He focuses on what he can control, and what he wants to control, and he abuses people on a forum full of abusive assholes. It's a toxic influence on me and I'm better off for leaving it and being my own person free from his control."
"Rainbow Dash, I'm proud of you for realizing you're better off without these people. Surely there's something out there you'd rather make than more work for him, right?" Twilight smiled.
Rainbow Dash smiled. "Making more work for him to slog through is hilarious, he deserves to have his time wasted. But... to be honest I've always wanted to make this super awesome comic with explosions and fighting and magic and hot Elf ladies. But with political rants to make it deep and mature so dumb nerds won't call it low-brow. I want to make something good I can feel proud of, even though I sometimes make garbage for fun too."
"Really? Can you show me your work on the good comic?"
Rainbow Dash showed Twilight her work.
The canvas depicted a chaotic world filled with sword-wielding anime characters in dynamic poses, explosions, and swirling magic blasts. Motorcycles and hoverboards zoomed through the air, and sharp-edged weapons glinted in the chaotic battlefield. Harsh shadows were jet black, and thick pointed linework had extra-sharp edges.
"This stylization! This dynamism! This tasteful censorship! When did you get this good at art?"
"I dunno. I doodle sometimes. I don't think I'm a prodigy or anything."
"You don't have to be a prodigy. How long did it take you to make this?"
"I sketched it just before you showed up."
Twilight Sparkle's eyes widened with amazement. She leaned closer, examining the intricate details and vibrant colors.
"YOU WHAT? Rainbow, this is incredible! It's like a scene from an epic anime battle!"
"Thanks! I know some art snobs out there say this stuff isn't real art, but I've been practicing like crazy, and I'm so stoked with how this turned out."
"I can't believe you've only been doing art for a year. This level of improvement is amazing. Forget that nerd, forget that site, forget everything that had anything to do with it. This comic... Is this your real passion?"
"Yes."
"Then fight for it, and don't let any junk like this take a second away from what you really care about."
As Twilight and Rainbow Dash shared a moment of understanding, it became clear that while fanfiction could be entertaining and a way to express creativity, there were more important things in life to pursue. Rainbow Dash had her sights set on a bright future, and Twilight was there to support her all the way, no matter how strange the people they encountered along the way might be.
They would always be together on this bizarre adventure they called life.
Life-osuction after you get fat from goblin deez nuts! Haha, gottem!
In the days that followed, Rainbow Dash did indeed wrap up her prank with the intentionally terrible fanfiction. One last time, just for one last time, she laughed at it on the writing site and watched with amusement as her old friend took the bait. His angry rants and detailed critiques filled the comments section, just as Rainbow had predicted. But Rainbow Dash didn't engage; she had moved on. She was free.
As she focused on her sports career and her studies, Rainbow Dash realized that there were so many more meaningful pursuits in life. Her athleticism was taking her to new heights, and her determination to succeed was unwavering. Not to mention her art and her comic. Some called it trashy, but she, she called it treasure. And while she ignored all the flaming from trolls, she treasured every last positive commenter.
Twilight was proud of her friend's growth and newfound maturity.
One sunny afternoon, Twilight and Rainbow Dash sat on the bleachers of the Canterlot High Soccer field. Rainbow Dash had just won another thrilling match, and her face was beaming with pride.
Twilight turned to her friend and said, "You know, Rainbow, I'm really proud of how you've grown and chosen to focus on the important things in life. Your talent and determination are remarkable, and I know you're going to achieve amazing things."
Rainbow Dash flashed a confident smile and put her arm around Twilight. "Thanks, Twi. And thanks for helping me realize what's truly important. Our friendship means the world to me."
And with that, the two friends sat together, basking in the warmth of their friendship, leaving the world of fanfiction behind as they embraced the many exciting adventures and challenges life had to offer.
As Twilight and Rainbow Dash held hands without looking at one another, blushing just a little, and ignoring the bitter green-skinned faceless weirdo who kept calling them gay like that was a bad thing, just enjoying the warmth of their close bond, they suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of loud, rapid footsteps approaching.
"Speaking of something more important than fanfiction, that sounds like Pinkie Pie." Twilight smiled.
Pinkie Pie burst onto the scene, her eyes wide with excitement and her hair poofier than ever.
"Girls! You won't believe what I just learned today! There's this thing called the Federal Reserve, and it's, like, super duper evil!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged bewildered glances.
"I guess that's technically also something more important than internet fanfictions and bad reviewers and dumb personal grudges."
Twilight tentatively asked, "Pinkie, what are you talking about?"
Pinkie Pie launched into a rant that seemed to come from nowhere. "The Federal Reserve controls all the money, and they're, like, totally secretive about it! They print money out of thin air, inflating the money, and it's not backed by anything real! So everyone ends up slaving away all day because of nothing! Fake money! Imaginary money invented by imaginary debt that just keeps going up and up and up! Banks can go bankrupt giving themselves and their rich buddies money and get bailed out by the taxpayer! My parents are taxpayers! We have to do something about it, like, right now! Twilight, blow it up, or send a letter to Celestia asking her to blow it up, or something!"
Twilight tried to follow Pinkie's erratic train of thought but found it increasingly challenging. "Pinkie, I'm not sure what you want us to do about the Federal Reserve. Besides, in this Equestria Girls timeline, I'm just a person, not a princess."
Pinkie Pie paused for a moment, her eyes darting around. "Oh, right, you're not Princess Twilight, you're Sci-Twi. My bad."
Rainbow Dash, who had been silent during Pinkie's rant, suddenly thought of something...
"Hey, should I have been calling you Twilight or Sci-Twi this whole time? Also, I wasn't sure if I should say it out loud until now but I've kind of feeling bad about this for a while but there's also a chance you won't have thought about it until I said it out loud and ruined the whole thing for you, but... Is it, like, demeaning to call someone who exists in the world they were born in by a nickname specifically because you know that person's alternate universe version and consider her to be the 'real Twilight' while every other Twilight is just 'a different Twilight'?"
Twilight laughed and hugged Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow, it's okay, you can call me Twilight or Sci-Twi or whatever else you want. It's not demeaning at all." Twilight assured her. "In fact, I think it's nice that you think of me as more scientifically inclined than the Twilight from your world-"
Twilight suddenly stopped smiling, and stopped hugging. "Wait, are you the Rainbow Dash from the pony world? Has that been you this whole time?"
As the confusion continued to mount, Sci-Twi, the otherworldly counterpart to Twilight Sparkle, finally showed up with Sunset Shimmer. The live studio audience went wild cheering for the best thing that ever happened to MLP, Sunset Shimmer, and the perfect example of how a bad idea can be salvaged and turned into a great idea and then squandered by a bad setting full of bad ideas.
"What's going on?" Sunset Shimmer asked. "Why is this school full of at least fourteen Rainbow Dashes now?"
Sci-Twi interjected, "Rainbow Dash, I've been wondering about something too. How did you even get into this world?"
Rainbow Dash scratched her head, her memories seeming hazy. "I don't know."
With that, the conversation seemed to fizzle out into a confusing mix of ideas and questions, leaving the friends feeling more bewildered than ever. They sat together on the soccer field, pondering the mysteries of the multiverse, lost in their own thoughts, and the story came to an enigmatic close as the camera zoomed in on Pinkie Pie's mother's chest while the musical "dun dun dun dun ding!" bit played from that Vine video about the Lemons.