It seems to be a calamitous time in the world. Rockets flying over Israel, terrorism, and all sorts of things that are stress inducing. This is especially problematic if you are a political science student, who’s academic job is to learn about complex geopolitics and international relations. Usually, situations like these aren’t personal, but when you’re Jewish, it’s VERY personal. There are many different ways of managing stress and anxiety. Exercise, meditation, mindfulness, and proper sleep. However, there’s quite a unique method many people don’t know about, and it involves a certain Princess of the Night…
After a very long day, Noah collapses onto his plush bed in his Montreal home, and he just sobs. He’s tired, fed up, and annoyed. School is too much right now with the world boiling over, and Noah just wants a moment to forget everything that’s going on.
“I…I just want everything to stop. It’s too…too much.” Noah cries, clenching his pillow and screaming in it. “School, work, babysitting, my cousins, it’s all too much. I want a vacation, dammit.” He groans, throwing his pillow against his wall. It seems that he’s reached a breaking point, and there’s not much that can be done to remedy it. In an act of sheer desperation, Noah taps his cyan blue hourglass necklace, paging his guardian angel, and certified Best Pony.
“Luna…I know you’re busy and stuff, but I need you. I…I really, really need-”
Before Noah could finish this thought, the temperature of Noah’s bedroom lowers to an ambient, soothing coolness, and the alicorn goddess of the night herself apparates into his bedroom. She is, indeed, a majestic creature, standing at 7 feet tall, a good head and a half taller than Noah. Her dark blue and purple hues reflect the cosmos themselves, and her starry mane is a mirror into the universe itself. She looks at the 20 year old human in front of her, and she smiles warmly.
“Noah, you know you can call me whenever you are in distress. I am not upset that you paged me. Come, tell me what’s ailing you.” Luna says, trying to calm Noah down. She sits down comfortably on her haunches, and uses her magic to gently drag Noah into her wings’ embrace. She protectively wraps her wings around Noah, and nuzzles his forehead.
“Shhh…I can see the distress in your aura, child.” Luna says, lulling Noah’s nerves. Her alicorn horn gently luminates a beautiful violet, and sends soothing magic to relax all the nerves in Noah’s body. The effect is immediate and swift. Noah’s body isn’t as tense, and he takes a few deep breaths. Luna passes her front right hoof, and Noah gently holds it, feeling the love and tender care his guardian has for him.
“It seems your planet is having some issues with conflict resolution, my sweet.” Luna says, planting a kiss on Noah’s forehead. She looks lovingly in Noah’s eyes, and waits to see what he has to say.
“You’re telling me, Luna. We have a literal war on two fronts going on. Israel and Chamas are at it…again, and now Chezbollah got involved, and-.”
Luna puts a hoof on Noah’s mouth, shushing him. She’s a stern pony when she has to be. “Noah, We have no use hearing about the fine details about this geopolitical squabble. It is beneath Us…and by Us we mean you and me, not the royal We.” Luna says, calmly but with conviction. Luna gently removes the hoof from Noah’s mouth, and gently ruffles his brown hair.
“I’ve been with you since you were a child of six, and you’re still the same, Noah. Anxious about things beyond your control, and unwilling to accept the fact you can’t change the future.” Luna gently scolds him. She sees Noah is a bit upset by this, but decides to calm him down some more. She lets Noah out of her embrace, and stands up.
“I have an idea, my love. We haven’t spent much time together this month. Would you like a classic Luna experience? I love taking you to outer space, Noah. I know how happy you are, flying with me. You’re literally my everything.” Luna says, giving a prankster’s wink to her charge. Noah smiles warmly at the suggestion, and replies: “I just need to put on something a bit warmer first, Luna. Even with your magic giving me oxygen in space, I need something warm in a vacuum.”
Luna nods: “Take thy time, child.” Noah goes somewhere a bit more private and puts on a waffle shirt and jeans. The waffle shirt ought to keep him warm during his adventure with Princess Luna. Once Noah is dressed, and ready, he is pleasantly surprised to see the alicorn deity fully decked in her divine tack. It is platinum in color, and the saddle has the zodiac woven into it.
“Noah, remember when I crafted this? You were eight years old, and I decided you were old enough to ride. You were begging for three years to fly with me, but I didn’t want to take a small child to space.” Luna reminisces. Noah smiles, and approaches Luna, putting his forehead on her muzzle.
“I remember quite well, Luna; especially considering you didn’t let me fly with you for another two years after that. I love you, but it was like riding a horse for those two years.” Noah jests. Luna playfully blows air in Noah’s face.
“We are not a horse, you silly boy. We are Best Pony, and thy guardian deity. Guard thy tongue or We will not give you the privilege of riding astride our back.” Luna retorts. Noah and Luna often get into these playful feuds. They both love each other dearly. Noah grabs Luna’s saddle with his hands, and puts his right foot into the platinum stirrups. With one swift and clean motion, he mounts his trusty moon alicorn. As soon as Noah is secure atop Luna’s back, he fells much, much calmer. Luna can sense that her human pupil is calmer, and she looks back at him and grins. “Glad to see you are calm, my dear. Now, let’s get started, shall we?”
Luna teleports the two of them outside, to Noah’s backyard. One cannot take off on an escape velocity from a college kid’s bedroom! Luna’s horn ignites once again, and she places her bridle’s reins in Noah’s hands. She looks back at him with the warmest smile. “You lucky boy…riding an alicorn. You must make all your friends jealous! Now, where does my favorite human wish to travel today? Proxima Centauri? The Andromeda Galaxy? Earth’s Moon? Remember, the observable universe is the limit. We can fly faster than light!” Luna smiles, stomping her hoof with pride. Noah gently taps Luna’s sides with his feet, and flicks her reins. “How about…Pluto. We haven’t been to the Kuiper Belt yet. I could use some quiet in the outer rim of my solar system.
Luna takes a minute to think about her rider’s request, before responding. “Ok, then. If you can answer this question, I’ll take you. Assuming we begin on Earth, and only travel at the speed of c (the speed of light), how long would it take us to complete our journey to Pluto? Remember to show your work.” Luna is such a troll. As Noah is thinking about this answer, Luna gallops into a running start, and launches herself into the air, gaining some altitude on Earth. She levels out at the cloud level, giving Noah some time to think.
After doing some crappy mental math in his head, Noah has the answer Luna’s looking for. “Alright Luna. I have your answer. C is equal to 299,792,458 m / s, and Pluto is 5.2015 billion km from the Earth. That means, assuming you only travel at the velocity of C, it would take…uh…just under five hours? 4.6 to be exact?”
Luna whinnies with pride. “Looks like my political science student isn’t bad with numbers. Ok, you win Noah. We’ll go to Pluto. AND, because thy adorable steed is in fact a divine alicorn, we need not be limited by the speed of light. I use magic for FTL travel. I can get you to Pluto in under ten minutes!” Luna takes a second to adjust her wing flaps, tilting them a bit upward towards the heavens. Noah grasps Luna’s reins with excitement, and says: “Ok, I’m ready. Punch it, Luna!”
Luna needs no further permission than that. She contracts her pinions and begins her escape velocity from Earth’s gravity. Luna’s horn is glowing gently with a violet hue, enveloping both herself and Noah with a healthy dose of oxygen. Slowly but surely, the duo fly above the clouds, and then the stratosphere, and finally, Earth’s orbit altogether. She looks back at her rider, and grins. “It has been many weeks since I’ve got to call you an astronaut, Noah.”
As Noah and Luna finally leave Earth’s gravity, they do a single orbit around the blue marble, just for the scenic view. Seeing the planet from this vantage point was always something sacred that Noah and Luna have shared with each other, and it’s a moment of sincere reflection and focus.
“It’s so small from up here, even at ISS altitudes in Low Earth Orbit.” Noah comments, reveling in the cosmos that his beloved teacher can share with him. Luna nods, flapping her obsidian purple wings to continue her ascent. “Indeed, Noah. Your planet is quite small from our vantage point. And to think, there’s a war going on right now. But let’s not focus on that. Focus on the voyage ahead. I need my handsome human to steer his mount to Pluto in one piece!” Luna jests, her horn’s magical signature lighting up a bit more.
“Quantum jump in 3 seconds. Grab Our reins…” Luna says, gaining velocity at an unnatural pace. They fly past the moon in seconds.
“2”. Luna says, speeding up even more, the moon now becoming even smaller.
“1…MARK!”
Just like in “Star Wars”, all of the stars in the universe begin to blur into wavy lines and shapes, and Noah and Luna finally enter hyperspeed with a single motion. It would seem logical to assume that traveling faster than light would mean feeling an immense sickness or malaise, akin to feeling mutliple Gs when riding a roller coaster, or being in a spaceship. Thankfully, Air Luna is quite a comfortable ride, so the gravity is at exactly 1 G, and the ride is scenic, not scary.
As Luna carries them both to the Kuiper Belt, Noah’s mind drifts off from his worries on Earth. Here he is, with his beloved alicorn mentor, flying at warpspeed through the solar system, to have some quality time together on the dwarf planet Pluto. Just as Princess Luna said, it took exactly ten minutes at FTL speeds to reach Pluto. With a graceful descent, Luna slows down and deactivates warp speed, reaching the surface of Pluto with poise.
Coming to a complete stop, she sighs with content, and then turns her head back at Noah: “Ok. You may climb down now. We’re here.” Luna says, her voice an ever soothing calmness on Noah’s brain. Listening attentively to Luna, Noah hops off, and the alicorn’s horn flashes, removing her riding tack, teleporting it away. Noah is quite used to his cosmic misadventures with Luna, but being on Pluto, the literal edge of the solar system, has a certain mystical quality to it that some of his other space trips haven’t had.
The surface of Pluto is unlike anything Noah has ever seen. A vast expanse of icy plains, with towering mountains of water ice in the distance, and a sky painted with a soft, pale blue hue. The dwarf planet's thin atmosphere created a surreal, dreamlike landscape, with the distant sun appearing as a bright star, casting a gentle light over everything. Luna, sensing Noah's awe, said, "It's beautiful, isn't it? A place of solitude and serenity, far removed from the chaos of your world." Noah nods, taking a moment to breathe in the otherworldly atmosphere. "It's... it's perfect, Luna. Thank you for bringing me here." Luna smiles at him warmly, her starry mane shimmering in the dim light. "I thought you might appreciate a moment of peace. And what better place than the edge of the solar system?"
The two of them begin to explore the icy plains, with Luna occasionally using her magic to levitate them over particularly treacherous terrain. As they walked together, they talked about everything and nothing, from the mysteries of the universe to their shared memories and adventures. After a while, they arrive at a small clearing, where the ground was covered in soft, powdery snow. Luna, with a playful glint in her eyes, uses her magic to conjure up a picnic blanket and a basket-filled with an assortment of brunch items.
"Brunch on Pluto," Luna declares with a chuckle. "I thought it might be a nice touch."
Noah laughs, "Only you could think of something so wonderfully absurd. I love it."
They sit down, and Luna serves them both a feast of pancakes, fresh fruits, and steaming cups of cocoa. As they eat in a peaceful quiet, they continue their conversation, laughing and reminiscing about their past adventures. After their meal, Luna lies down on the blanket, stretching out her wings. "Come," she beckons to Noah, "Snuggle with me, like old times. I know you’re dying to snuggle with me. I’m so soft."
Noah hesitated for a moment, then lay down beside her, resting his head on her soft, warm flank. Luna wrapped a wing around him, pulling him close. Her warm, fluffy body keeps Noah comfortable and cozy. That's all Luna wants. The two of them lie there, in each other's embrace, looking up at the starry sky. The distant sun, the stars, and the vastness of space seem to envelop them both, creating a cocoon of warmth and safety. The worries of the world fade away, replaced by a profound sense of peace and contentment. After what felt like hours, Luna whispers, "Sleep, my dear Noah. Rest and recharge. When you wake, we'll return to Earth, and you'll be ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead." Noah nods, his eyes heavy with sleep. "Thank you, Luna, I love you. You're my everything" he murmurs, drifting off into a peaceful slumber, wrapped in the warm and cozy embrace of his guardian alicorn.
