Anon and Luna Wait in an Uninteresting Line Outside of a GameStop for an Unspecified Amount of Time

by RunicTreetops

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, Human, Princess Luna, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1422

Luna really wants a copy of this week's hit new game, but she isn't about to wait in line alone. Anon would rather be anywhere else.

Super Mario Bros. Wonder comes out tonight, and Luna intends to be the first pony in line to get it. Of course, she isn't going to wait alone. That'd be stupid. And who better to drag to GameStop with her than Anon, the guy with absolutely nothing better to do?

This can only go well.

Published 2023-10-17 21:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-10-17 21:50:00 UTC

Anon and Luna Wait in an Uninteresting Line Outside of a GameStop for an Unspecified Amount of Time

Anon shivers as he tightens his coat, his teeth chattering all the while.

"It's cold," he mumbles. His breath is visible in the frigid night air.

"I don't want to hear it," Luna responds, her voice serious, yet clearly hindered by her attempts to hide her own discomfort.

"Why exactly are we here again?"

"I told you, Super Mario Bros. Wonder releases tonight, and I will be the first in line to play it."

"Couldn't you have just bought a digital copy?"

"Clearly, you know nothing of media preservation."

"Maybe not, but I do know how to preserve my health. And standing outside of a GameStop in the middle of the night isn't the best way to do that."

"Stop being such a baby."

Anon glares at Luna, but says no more. A particularly strong wind begins to blow, causing Anon's coat to billow along with it. Luna's mane (which is much too voluminous to be contained beneath her hoof-stitched hat) does the same, with much of it getting stuck to her face. She silently scowls as her horn begins to glow, signalling the use of her magic. She attempts to use telekinesis to tuck her unruly mane into her own winter coat, but all she succeeds in doing is making her back cold after she slightly peels the coat off of her body. All in all, neither are very comfortable.

It's the middle of the night in Canterlot. Most of the time, this means that Luna is in charge of protecting Equestria, mostly by observing the dreams of its populace. Tonight, however, she intends to do no such thing. She and her human companion stand in the darkness, the environment around them illuminated only by a solitary street light. Behind them is the dark outline of Canterlot's local GameStop that has absolutely always been there.

"And when exactly do they open?"

"They were supposed to open half an hour ago."

"Then why are we still here?"

"Because they have to open at some point."

"And if that isn't until morning?"

"Then we shall wait until morning. I will be the first one through those doors."

"Luna, you have a problem."

"I am aware. That's why I brought you along."

"So I can suffer with you?"

"Yup."

"Why?!"

"Because you're a beta cuck."

"I... what?"

"You're a little loser baby."

"A-and what does that make you?!"

"An alpha mare. A gigachad."

"What the heck are you talking about?!"

"I am speaking the language of the gods. The gamer words."

"I don't get it."

"I know, and that's precisely why you're here."

"..."

"..."

"...You could have at least given me something to do."

"Are you a brainrotted zoomer that needs constant stimulation? Need me to put some Subway Surfers gameplay in front of you, too? Maybe some Family Mare Funny Moments™?"

"I don't recognize several of those words."

"Ugh, you're so lame."

"Can we discuss literally anything other than new ways to insult me? Because I can just go home."

"I don't really appreciate you thinking that you could just walk away from me unscathed, but fine. What do you wish to discuss?"

"Well, how was your day? I haven't talked to you in a while."

"...Really?"

"What?"

"That's the best you can do?"

Anon clicks his tongue in annoyance.

"How am I the normal one between us? Is it so wrong to ask how you've been doing?"

"I don't do much."

"You're an alicorn princess. You are one of the most interesting creatures in the entire country. I find it hard to believe that you 'don't do much.'"

"I raise and lower the moon, I ensure that the castle staff sleeps well at night, and I protect the dream realm while most of Equestria is asleep. There isn't much more to it."

"W-well, how has the dream realm been?"

"Same as always. Not a whole lot of nightmares nowadays."

"So you just peer into random dreams all night long?"

"I have to swim through a lot of garbage. Most of which I'd rather not talk about."

"Like what?"

"What part of 'I'd rather not talk about' do you not understand?"

"I-"

"Or would you prefer it if I talked about the little 'fantasies' you have about my sister?" Anon's face immediately goes red and he turns to face the other direction. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

The two stand in silence for what feels like an eternity, doing their best to ignore the merciless cold assailing their senses. Aside from the wind, Canterlot is almost completely silent. This is unusual, as Canterlot is a noisy place, even in the middle of the night.

"Where is everyone?"

"Asleep, mostly."

"Sure, but we're not."

"I am the Princess of the Night, Anon. It would be foolish to assume that I wouldn't be awake at this time. Same goes for you, since you are my company this evening."

"No no, I understand why we're here. What I really want to know is why there isn't anyone else here."

"Did I not just say that everypony is asleep?"

"If that's true, then why are we even waiting?" Anon throws his hands into the air and gestures to the area around them. The line to get into GameStop consists of Luna, himself, and... that's it. "There's no one else here!"

"Intimidated by the presence of a couple of true gamers, no doubt." Luna briefly glances at Anon, looking him up and down in the process. "Well, one true gamer at least."

"I really don't think that's the compliment you think it is."

"I wasn't talking about you."

"I know."

"..."

"..."

The pair continue to stand in silence outside of the darkened GameStop for a long while, neither sure of what else to say. Eventually, they are forced to squint as sunlight begins to peek over the numerous buildings surrounding them, prompting Luna to begrudgingly lower the moon.

"How long have we been out here?"

"All night, it seems. My sister isn't the type to get the time wrong."

"She also isn't the type to drag me to an empty GameStop all night," Anon mumbles.

"I heard that, chud."

"Can you stop it with the words that don't mean anything?"

Before Luna can respond, a middle-aged stallion with a full beard and a thick pair of glasses approaches the pair, a look of confusion on his face.

"Um, hello."

"Ah! Good sir!" Luna looks at the stallion with excitement, a smile finally gracing her face for the first time since Anon met up with her. "Are you the proprietor of this sacred ground known as GameStop?!"

"I... work here."

"Marvelous! You are extremely late, but I shall forgive your transgressions this time so long as I get to experience the joys of this week's scrimblo bimblo platformer before anypony else!"

The stallion uncomfortably reaches for his keys and begins to unlock the store as Luna excitedly questions him.

"Are, uh, you talking about Super Mario Bros. Wonder?"

"Yes, precisely!"

"You do know that doesn't come out until tomorrow, right?"

Luna's eyes go wide, and Anon can practically hear her heart shattering into a million tiny, plumber-shaped pieces.

"That... that can't be right."

"It's a Thursday, princess. Games typically release on Fridays. We are doing a midnight release tonight, though."

"..."

"...Er, princess?"

Luna remains silent for a moment as her eyes seem to glaze over. Eventually, she closes those eyes and lets out a deep sigh.

"Very well." She turns around and slowly begins to leave, her head drooped towards the floor. "Come, Anon. Today, we return home as failures."

Anon quickly catches up to Luna and starts to walk at her side, his hands stuffed into his coat pockets.

"Come on, Luna. Keep your head up."

"I'm tired. I'm cold. I'm going home empty-hooved. We have completely wasted our evening. I see little reason to walk with pride right now."

"We can play Sonic Superstars if you'd like." Slowly, Luna picks her head up. She looks at Anon with surprise, and her eyes seem to sparkle slightly as the morning sun hits them. "I know it's not really the same, but maybe we can still have fun?"

"...I think I'd like that."

"Okay so it says here that you have to install Epic Games to play Sonic Superstars."

"I bought it through Steam."

"I know."

"...Fuck."

Author's Note

Why did I make this?