(1) Inner Turmoil - Only Chapter Unless I continue
Dear Princess Twilight,
It is a rather hot day at Canterlot High, way hotter than the normal summers back in Equestria for that matter. Like- hot enough that you would collapse from levitating a book!
Sunset smirked to herself while writing, ‘You’ll pass out if you do anything big today, Sunset,’ she internally laughed, looking back at the journal.
Anyways, I was just thinking of how much I am enjoying time with my new friends, despite that time not always feeling reciprocated-
“Rainbow! Go long!” shouted Spitfire as she launched the ball across the field; Sunset looked up from her journal, back to the game in front of her.
“I got it!” Rainbow Dash called back, leaping into the air, a quick flash of blue shining across the field as wings sprouted from her back.
“Woah! She ponied up!” Screamed Pinkie Pie, shaking Sunset in excitement. Pinkie’s enthusiasm was quickly stopped by a grab of her wrist from her victim.
“Jeez! Pinkie!” she snapped in agitation.
Pinkie looked down at her friend, dejectedly, “Oops. Sorry, Sunset.”
‘Great, I didn’t want to make her sad. You better repent before you lose a friend. Wait- where did that come from?’ Sunset pondered her thoughts before apologizing.
“No! No- it’s fine, Pinkie, really. I was- I was just caught off guard, is all. I’m sorry too.” Sunset replied, letting go of Pinkie’s wrist; both of them smiling at each other as she turned back to her journal at hand.
Just- even if I am on the sidelines, I am still grateful to have my friends by my side, as they have me by theirs. They even invited my over for a-
“They aren’t grateful.”
Sunset jolted out of her thoughts, looking around. “W-who said that?!”
“Said what, darling?” Rarity looked over, concerned. “We were all just watching Rainbow’s practice.”
Sunset glanced back over to the field, only to see the game playing out just fine. “O-Okay then, I’ll continue writing to Princess Twilight, I guess.”
-They even invited me over for a slumber party this weekend after we go to the movies! Rarity was also telling me about some of the new shops in the mall, though they were all fashion-related; but I figured I’d check some of them out with her as well! I do wonder what we’ll do after the mall though… Perhaps a walk downtown?
“Someone will follow you.”
As soon as “it” stopped, Sunset looked back up, “I swear! I heard someone whisper something in my ear! Are you absolutely sure you saw nobody just now? No one?!”
“Look sugarcube, if anyone was gonna see if someone was around, it would be you” Applejack stated, turning to the group, “and I would also know for certain when one of us was lyin’, and I’d make a fuss about it.”
‘Sure you would, I treated you all like shit for years.’ Sunset looked over to Applejack, “You’re absolutely sure? This isn’t some sort of prank?”
“No, silly!” Pinkie exclaimed, “Why would we prank you like that? All of my pranks would be at parties or with cupcakes!” she finished, pulling out half a dozen cupcakes from her hair.
“And I’m not of that pranking-type, darling. I’d be much more formal about our ‘shenanigans.’” Rarity said, gesturing around the last word. “If it is stressing you this much, you should get somewhere a bit more comfortable than out here, this heat is ruining my hair!”
On any other day, Sunset would laugh at Rarity’s joke, but she merely nodded and packed up her journal.
“Yeah, I think you’re right Rare’s, I’ll head on home. Tell Rainbow I enjoyed watching her practice.” Sunset waved to her friends, making her way around the school, beginning her walk home.
“They pity you.”
That voice. There it was again.
“Those six don’t care about you.”
“Who are you?!” Sunset shouted.
“Maybe you should figure that out before causing a scene.”
Sunset merely stammered at that response, “Y-You!” A few people around her looked over in confusion at her outburst.
“Everyone’s watching you…”
Sunset’s eyes darted around her as she walked by the road. Eyes on her the entire time, sweat dripping down her face.
“If you don’t stop looking around, you’ll be put in a mental hospital.”
She kept glancing around, everyone staring at her as she made her way to her house a few blocks away.
“With how you’re acting, you deserve to be in one.”
Sunset’s face warped to a look of confusion and surprise at that jab as she felt herself hit something. “I-I’m so sorry!” She called back as she started running, glancing over to the street beside her; the bumped-into blonde looking back at her in concern as she ran off.
“Oh, what if you jumped into the road?”
Her eyes widened in realization, ‘You’re in my head…’ she spoke to herself, sweat continuing to bead down her face.
“Took you long enough, dumbass.”
‘I-I’m not a dumbass!’
“Well- I’m your conscience, whatever I say goes. So all things considered, you’re my pet.”
“No…”
“My little creature to play with as a doll.”
“No.” Sunset said, looking around at the surrounding buildings.
“You made a wrong turn, I see.” The voice then gave out a small chuckle,“Only a complete screwup could do that, it’s a straight line, for Celestia’s sake!”
‘No! You’re wrong! I’m no screwup!’ Sunset shut her eyes, shouting to herself.
“Eh, you’re right. More like a dumb bitch, if anything.”
‘Wh-Wha?!’ she stuttered out.
“People are watching, open your eyes and just look for a good building.”
Sunset sighed and did as told by herself. ‘Okay, now what?’
“Look for the best one to think about jumping off.”
‘Why?!’ Sunset shouted to the voice as she looked.
“No reason…just think about one.” The voice calmly replied, seemingly taking a sip of metaphorical tea, as Sunset started to hyperventilate.
‘N-No, I need to get home and rest.’
“But don’t you just adore my company?”
‘I don’t! I hate you! I hate all of this! Why do you put me on edge 24/7?!’ Sunset spat at it, rapidly breathing, feeling her arms start to tense up.
“Because you don’t want some useless thing to cause you to become me, now don’t you?” The voice called back, lifting the surrounding fog in Sunset’s mind.
Sunset backed up to the wall of a nearby alley. “N-No… I-I defeated you!” she shouted, as her legs gave way, her arms too tense to keep her upper body stable.
“No, more like you shut me out for a while, but I will always be a part of you…” The demon Sunset said, moving towards her in her mind.
“N-No! Stay away! I don’t want to die!” Sunset yelled out, sobbing into her arms, looking around for her frantically.
“... Sunset?” a soft voice called into the alley.
Sunset quickly glanced over, seeing a shadow. “N-No! I don’t wanna die! Don’t hurt me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” Her sobs soon drowning out her words amongst her cries.
Footsteps sounded by Sunset as the soft voice returned. “O-Okay. Sunset, concentrate on my voice…” this new voice crouched down by her. “What are five things you can hear?”
Her eyes widened, now knowing who the voice belonged to. “T-Twilight…” was all she could get out between cries.
“Good, now give me four more.” the purple-haired girl calmly replied.
“P-people w-walking…air c-conditioners, c-cars on the road, and m-my voice…” she got out between large breaths, her sobs getting quieter.
“Perfect, now how about five things you can feel? Twilight looked up at her friend through her glasses.
Sunset, still looking down, gave it her best to reply. “T-The ground, my jacket, the wind, my hair, and my pants?” she asked Twilight.
“Yes, that all works for your response.” Twilight nodded, “Now, how about some colors you can see?”
As she breathed in and out slowly, she could feel Twilight blocking the demon from her mind. “Black, from m-my jacket.”
“That’s good, any more?”
“Orange, f-from my h-hair…”
“Great!” Twilight congratulated softly, “How about three more?”
Sunset slowly looked up and shakily nodded, looking around the alley. “R-red, like the bricks on that building.”
Twilight nodded in reply as Sunset continued with the final two.
“Purple, like your eyes. A-And, blue, like my blouse” she completed, her breathing softened as she tiredly looked at Twilight.
Twilight looked back into Sunset’s eyes, “Are you okay with touch at the moment?”
Sunset meekly nodded, “C-Can we go home? Please.”
Twilight softly grabbed Sunset’s hand. “Of course, Sunset. I definitely wouldn’t leave you after an anxiety attack like this again.”
All Twilight got was another nod in reply as they both slowly stood up, Twilight walking Sunset back to her apartment.
As she sat on the couch, Sunset pulled out her journal to continue her letter to Princess Twilight. Twilight brought over a light blanket and pulled sunset to her to cuddle under it as she finished writing.
Hey, Twilight? Sorry about cutting off the letter earlier, it happened again. And after a lot of fussing from the Twilight over here, I’ll try to get some help for this anxiety. Thank you for being my friend.
-Sunset Shimmer
"That's good to hear, Sunset; but I didn't fuss at you?"
A few small laughs were heard as the sun fell into a quiet night, one of the calmest in weeks for Sunset.
Author's Note
Hi there everyone! This is my first every fimfic, so I figured a simple one-shot that could get a lot off of my mind was a good place to start.
A lot of how this chapter was done is similar to my own personal experiences, but I obviously don't have a literal "brain demon." The little part of me that gives all the weird thoughts suffices, I'd say.
Anxiety sucks, and that's what I was basing this off of. The "again" at the end refers to the anxiety attack, but it was Sunset's first time interacting with her inner demon.
I hope you all enjoyed this, and again, please criticize my writing for me to improve, this is my first ever Fimfic after all!
-Sai
P.S. This is no longer a one-shot! Enjoy more chapters as they come!
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The morning light started to show its face to Sunset as the rain pitter-pattered against the windowpane, well as much light as a rainy day was willing to give, that is. It was one of those days, as Rainbow would put it, where it was harder than usual to pull your body out of the bed, the world outside wanting to lull everyone back to sleep, letting the world rest for a day.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Sunset tiredly climbed over the bed and slapped her alarm, silencing it- for now.
“Five more minutes should do me some good” she muttered to herself, falling asleep in her new position.
“Sunset? Wha…what time is it?” another person said, the form underneath Sunset shifting suddenly. She slowly looked over to where the voice originated from, only to see a purple and magenta pile of hair.
"Twilight...?" Sunset murmured, her voice laced with uncertainty.
“Whaaahhh! Sunset! I- uh- good morning!” Twilight near-shouted as they both sat up simultaneously, their cheeks flushing with embarrassment as they were a bit tangled up together.
“What are you doing here, Twi?” Sunset said, as her mind promptly awakened to the situation at hand. She slowly moved herself, trying to untangle herself just a bit without falling out of the bed. “Not that I’m upset or anything, just that this is a bit of a shock.”
“Well- uh, do you remember what happened yesterday afternoon?” Twi asked as she leaned over to search for her glasses on the nightstand.
“I- I remember hearing a voice and a demon, me-, I don’t know. Just something coming after me? But apart from that-” Sunset shook her head, her expression being slightly puzzled. "I... I don't remember. I must have been really tired. Did you save me?"
“Um, save you? I- I think it was me helping you save yourself, if that makes sense?” She replied, looking back over, having donned her purple glasses. “You wrote to Princess Twi- me, well other world me that is about it. I think that could help you remember a bit more from last night?”
Sunset nodded slowly, trying to piece together the events of the previous night. Having finally untangled herself she walked out into the living room to read her journal, and to give Twilight some space to get ready for the day.
“Let’s see here…” She whispered, flipping open the journal.
“a rather hot day at Canterlot…. thinking of enjoying time with my new friends…. not always feeling reciprocated…. on the sidelines, I am still grateful…. they have me by theirs…. what we’ll do after…. Perhaps a walk downtown?”
“Wait, what?” Sunset noticed how the second half of the page was blank with a few dried marks where some water must have been. “That’s it? What’s on the next page?” she rhetorically asked herself, flipping the page, which to her luck contained another entry.
“Sorry about cutting off the letter earlier, it happened again.” Sunset simply stared at the parchment, new water slightly damaging the surface.
“S-so, that’s what happened…” She muttered, promptly closing the book and walking into the bathroom. As her face made itself present in the mirror she simply looked at it in disgust. “W-what? You couldn’t even hold it together for a day?! How stupid are you!”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Um… Sunset? Are you okay in there? I think I heard shouting.” Twilight softly spoke through the door as Sunset kept looking at herself in the mirror.
“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute!” Sunset called back, making sure her voice could reach.
“That’s right, she only wants the bathroom anyways.” Her reflection suddenly spoke back.
“Wait what?! Who are you?” Sunset shot back to her reflection.
“Oh this is so cute~! You don’t remember what I did yesterday? How weak.” The mirror slowly lost the light it had as the Sunset within turned a scarlet colour. “I’m you after all, remember your place.”
Sunset backed away, seeing herself as a demon once more. “N-no! You should be gone!”
“Gone?! Oh, you sweet sun, I am you. You’ll. Never. Escape. Ta ta!” The demon’s tone suddenly shifted as it disappeared with a crackling noise, leaving herself alone in the bathroom once more, in complete silence.
“O-okay, Twilight, you can come in.” Sunset said, leaning against the wall, still staring at the mirror.
“Alright, Sunset what’s-” Twilight began, quickly noticing that Sunset had tears running down her face. “Sunset, what's wrong?”
“I- I don’t know… everything, I guess?” Sunset said, giving up and letting her tears run freely as she grabbed Twilight in an embrace. “A-and that I was mad at myself for not being able to fight off what happened yesterday a-and-” she stopped as Twilight laid a finger on her lips, nodding to her.
“Alright, I think I understand. She came back, didn’t she?” Twilight asked rather straightforwardly, getting a meek nod in return. “Okay, just remember that she is not real, and that we all fight our inner demons.”
“B-but I literally was a demon. Twi- I d-don’t think I can relate t-to other people like t-that…” she replied, with a slight quiver in her voice.
“Oh- no no no! I didn’t mean it that way. I was just trying to explain that we all have different experiences but that we all have to find a way to fight-. Sorry, I'm babbling again, aren't I? What I'm trying to say is, we're in this together, and I'm here for you.” Twilight rambled, over correcting herself.
“You were babbling again a little bit.” Sunset said with a small giggle. Twilight’s rambling always had a rather amusing effect on her. “But you could keep rambling if you’d feel better.”
“No. What matters right now is how you’re feeling, ok? Don’t try to get your way out of seeing someone on this.” Twilight replied, pulling Sunset to her feet as well. She then looked down to her watch. “Now, it is only 8 am?! W-we have to get to class! Or at least see vice principal Luna as she works as the guidance counselor- but come on! Let’s get you moving, that always helps me, at least!”
Sunset slightly lost herself in Twilight’s rambling once more and then joined her in walking back to the bedroom and promptly getting ready, then quickly brushing her teeth to start out the day.
As Sunset turned away from the mirror, a faint, whisper-like, noise seemed to fill the room, accompanied by a chilling sensation crawling down her spine. She apprehensively glanced back at the reflective surface, her heart pounding.
But nothing appeared.
“Well, it is a Monday, it was bound to start off a bit strange.” She thought to herself, short of breath, quickly calming herself as she went to grab her backpack and journal, walking out of her apartment to meet Twilight again at the bus stop.
Back in the bathroom, however, the mirror formed a faint teal glow, cracks etching their way along the surface. Slowly, it spelled in Equestrian:
“You’ll. Never. Escape.”
Sunset stopped for a second, her breath catching in her throat. She was certain she had heard something, then looked back over to see Twilight waving to her from the bus stop. Sunset quickly brushed off the strange feeling and hurried over to join her.
“Mondays are just weird.”
Author's Note
Hi again!
Thanks so much for the feedback on the last chapter! It means the world to me! Oh! Also, sorry about taking- four months?! Ok, yep, I'll try not to do that again.
Anyway, as you can see from the chapter, and the story as a whole (since I swapped a tag) is that this is now a mystery as well as a relatable story for me!
This chapter was way more mystery-focused than a relatable anxiety attack moment this time, as I do need some semblance of a plot to be created now that this is post-one-shot and now going to be a fully fledged story!
Anyway, as always, feedback is appreciated and I hope you all enjoy!
-Sai
P.S. I am going to edit the Author's note of the previous chapter to clarify that it was designed as a one-shot but that the story continues for those curious.
