I was living the dream in Ponyville and living like a hermit, selling herbs to the locals, sipping cocoa in my checkered robe. Life was good. The ponies were quirky, the scenery stunning, and the weather was reliably predictable. Except for one thing—there was this one pony who made my life... interesting. At first, I couldn’t make sense of their weirdness, but after some time, I learned to just roll with it.

I’m sitting there, in my cozy little shack, sipping cocoa (which I almost spilled on my green face), looking out the window. Sunset’s here, time to harvest some herbs. I grab an apple and glance at the calendar—it’s marked with a red circle for the summer solstice celebration. Of course, I completely forget about it. Who needs parties when you’ve got a perfect view of the sunset and cocoa in hand?

I toss my shoes on, muttering to myself, “I’ll remember eventually,” as I wander out into Ponyville. The ponies wave as I pass, but honestly, I don’t even bother with them. I’m that weird green guy in town. They know me, I know them. It’s fine.

The Everfree Forest calls to me. It’s dangerous, sure, but it’s full of rare herbs. I’m here for the loot, not for a stroll through paradise. As I make my way through the forest, collecting medicinal plants and herbs that would make a fortune in the right hands, something catches my eye—a dark blue mist that zips past me like it’s late for an appointment. I freeze, herbs in hand, trying to figure out if I’ve lost my mind or if there’s some kind of ghostly prankster in the woods. I blink. It’s gone.

Okay, screw that. I’m out. Fast. My mind races as I retrace my steps back to the safety of town, but I can’t shake the feeling that something’s off. Ponies glance at me as I pass, sensing my nerves. I don’t care. I’m not going back there tonight.

Back in my warm, cozy house, I lock the door behind me. Screw the mysterious mist, the creepy forest, and whatever the hell just happened. For now, I’ve got my herbs, my cocoa (finally), and my peace. Tomorrow, I’ll head back to the forest. Or not. We’ll see.

I stepped out of my house and glanced over at Anon's place on the outskirts of Ponyville. It looked like a disaster zone—grass taller than a stallion's mane and peeling paint that screamed 'I need help!'. But hey, not my problem. Not today, anyway. Today, I was all about securing a front-row seat at the Summer Solstice celebration. Princess Celestia lowering the sun? Yeah, that was the main event.

As I strutted towards Town Hall, ponies bustled around, prepping for the festivities. Banners fluttered, and the air buzzed with excitement. I was all in, grinning like a kid who'd just discovered sugar. But then, of course, fate had to throw in a curveball.

Just as Celestia’s grand entrance was about to happen, the sky turned dark, and out of nowhere, Nightmare Moon appeared. The crowd gasped, panic set in, and I stood there, completely dumbfounded. My heart raced, but then—oh no. I remembered something. Earlier that day, I’d seen Anon coming out of the Everfree Forest, a weird mist following him like some kind of shady fog machine. And he looked off. I couldn’t figure out why at the time, but now? It clicked.

My stomach dropped as the pieces fell into place. I shot my hoof in the air. "Wait!" I screamed. "I saw Anon! He came from the forest with the mist! He’s gotta be involved!"

Ponies around me exchanged confused glances. Slowly, though, murmurs spread. Other ponies started to speak up, confirming what I’d seen. The crowd grew restless. Meanwhile, Nightmare Moon was droning on about eternal night, but I couldn't focus on her. My brain was too busy trying to figure out how the heck Anon was wrapped up in this.

Then, of course, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack overheard me.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Anon? The weird green dude? What’s he got to do with any of this?"

Pinkie Pie bounced in place. "Ooh, ooh! I bet he’s a secret spy for Nightmare Moon! That’s why he avoids me and my awesome parties!"

Applejack squinted. "Now hold on. Anon helped me out before, gatherin’ herbs for Granny. Maybe we should give him a chance to explain."

Pinkie Pie interrupted with a grin. "We need to find him! Where does he live?"

"Edge of town," I said, pointing dramatically. "His house looks like it’s been attacked by a tornado and a paintbrush."

Rainbow Dash didn’t waste a second. "Let’s go. We’re getting answers, now."

Applejack, ever the cautious one, added, "Let’s make sure we don’t accuse him of anything without hearing his side. We owe him that much."

As they ran off, it hit me. Nightmare Moon was still there, and apparently, she wasn’t too thrilled that the ponies in the crowd weren’t cowering in fear of her. Her monologue was cut short as she realized the moment was slipping. And that’s when the riot started—ponies shouting, running in every direction like their tails were on fire.

Nightmare Moon snapped. "Screw this," she muttered under her breath, turning and storming off to her next plan—getting the Elements of Harmony and casting eternal night before anyone could stop her.

Meanwhile, I had one thought buzzing in my head: I’m going to have so much to tell the others.

I wake up in the evening, groggy as usual, and shuffle into the bathroom for a shower. The hot water hits me like a blast of reality, and after drying off, I throw on an office shirt, red tie, dress pants, and leather shoes—because, y'know, it’s totally normal to dress up like you’re going to a meeting when it’s 8 PM.

Feeling somewhat presentable, I head to the kitchen for breakfast—because dinner can’t be a meal without breakfast first, right? I shove some food in my mouth, grab my stuff, and head out.

The second I step outside, the chaos of Ponyville hits me. Ponies are running around like their tails are on fire. My gaze shifts to Flash Trade, who suddenly stops and stares at me like I'm a fugitive. He locks eyes with me and... raises a hoof?

"YOU!"

Without thinking, I slam my door and lock it. Not today, Flash. But, of course, the pounding begins. It's like the universe hates me. I peek through the window to find Flash, now apparently auditioning for Ponyville's Next Top Villain, trying to break down my door.

"I know you did something! You were running out of those woods when the mist appeared!" he yells.

Before I can process his accusation, a group of ponies comes charging toward my house. Leading them? The pink menace herself, Pinkie Pie, with that freaky smile and eyes too big for her face. They’re heading straight for me, and I can already feel my social anxiety kicking into overdrive.

I scramble for my secret weapon—the case—and head toward the Everfree Forest. A safe haven… until she bumps into me.

“Oh my gosh! I found you, Anon-Mario!” Pinkie bounces off me like I’m a trampoline, giggling like she didn’t just murder my escape plan.

“Uhh, making-a a pizza… Delivery-a pizza to… uh, Mr. Anonymous,” I stammer, my mustache crooked and my bald head sweating like a running faucet.

Her wide blue eyes narrow in on me. “Hey, Mario! I was looking for Anon!”

I try to hold it together. “Y-yes, Pinky! Always delivering-a pizza to-a my customers! But Anon, he, uh... not-a here. Don’t-a know where he went,” I ramble, praying she buys it.

Suddenly, hooves thunder in the distance. I see Rainbow Dash coming in like a comet, skidding to a stop.

“Wait, is that a monkey?” she blurts out, eyes locked on me.

“What the hell did you just call me?” I mutter, but my words get lost in the mess.

Pinkie, always the troublemaker, grins. “Well, I thought I found Anon, but it’s just Mario delivering a pizza! So random, right?”

Before I can explain how not random this is, Rainbow spots my case. "Is that supposed to be a… pizza?"

“Y-yes?” I stutter, barely holding on.

Then Applejack barrels in, out of breath but on cue. “Why the heck are y’all playin’ dress-up? Oh hey, Anon! And, uh, what’s that contraption on yer face?”

All three ponies turn to me, confused. My stomach sinks. That’s it. I’ve exhausted all possible excuses. Without thinking, I spin around to run into the forest, but the combined weight of three ponies slams into me, dragging me down.

This is how I die.

Author's Note

Hey, Trashmanic here. I've just started writing this story after coming up with the name. I'm writing it mostly for fun, and it'll be a mix of episodes from the show and completely original chapters.

December 10th, 2024: The chapter was edited to address pacing issues, and the (POV) was removed for chapter 1 and 2.