Chapters Humans roamed about in every direction. Big mechanical machines that went by too many names to count zoomed by. Enlarged albino mice stomped about in the streets, sending earthquakes rushing through the area.
...Yeah, that wasn't supposed to happen. Pinkie had seen mice before. They weren't usually half the size of Canterlot.
Seeing these abnormalities wasn't exactly news to her. She'd faced down villains that looked even weirder and seen stuff in Ponyville that would get her laughed at over yonder if she told anypony else. But apparently weirdness was a big deal in this other world, because these human children dressed in business suits were always around to fight them off. She couldn't deny that it scared her a little, since she had often been called "weird" and similar adjectives by her friends and by other ponies. And she certainly was weird. What other pony had a whole world inside of their hair where they could pull out any object they desired? What other pony had the ability to make their entry and disappearance by simply popping in and out similar to a unicorn teleporting? What other pony could defy gravity, break the fourth wall, explode her body and survive? They were all...what had the kids called them? Oddities? Yes, they were all oddities. She was an oddity.
And oddities were what those kids seemed to be after.
She wanted to explore this fantastical world, but at the same time, the prospect of those kids catching her worried her. About the only thing that brought her relief was seeing a unicorn trot by that certainly didn't look like any other unicorn she had seen in Equestria. If anything, she'd have pinned it as being incredibly deformed. Why didn't the kids catch that oddity? Should she inform them, in a way that wouldn't allow them to draw suspicion to her? Maybe if she saw more of them. Otherwise they might pin her as crazy.
While exploring one of the stores in the mysterious new world, she bumped into a girl who exuded power. Pinkie wasn't exactly sure how. By all accounts, she looked like a normal human, though different from the ones in the human world that Twilight visited. Dark skin, hair tied into a bun, navy suit (Rarity had told her once that navy was a powerful color, hence why many businessponies wore it), purple shoes...the scowl on her face.
"May I help you?"
Pinkie cleared her throat. "Ah, um, yes! Yes! I..."
All it took was a simple hoof gesture...no...a simple hand gesture.
Celestia's sake, had it been that long since she had gone to the other human world? She forgot she had hands. She forgot humans had hands.
Which meant she was crawling around on all fours like an absolute idiot.
Quickly, she rose to her feet, stumbling a little as she tried to get used to the sensation of feet and being a biped again. It was practically instinctual to her as a pony. As a human in this world, not so much. "S-sorry." she muttered. "I'm..."
The other girl moved closer to her, narrowed her eyes, and whispered, "You're not Otis's sister or anything, are you?"
That question caught Pinkie off-guard. "No. Who's Otis? And I'm a sister, just...not to Otis, 'cause I don't know him! I mean I just got here, how'd I have any idea who Otis i-"
She mentally slapped herself. Ugh, her big fat mouth...she had to learn to control that.
"You just got here?" The girl sat on this for a moment, then perked up. "Ah, you mean you just moved to Toronto, right?" She nodded. "I understand. Going by your outfit, though, it seems you got admitted to the Odd Squad Academy pretty quickly. Are you on a field trip?"
"Nope!" Pinkie bit her lip and tried to backtrack. "Um, I mean, yes! Uh, I kiiiinda lost my group...but it's okay, I have a good sense of direction so I'm sure I'll find them!"
"Are you sure? Sofa So Good is a pretty big place."
"I'm sure!"
The girl looked Pinkie up and down, as though doubting her confirmation. Pinkie was sure she was beginning to sweat, which really wasn't helping her case. Still, the girl seemed to buy it as she stuck out her hand. "All right. The name's Ms. O, by the way. I run Precinct 13579 right here in Toronto."
Taking her hand and shaking it, Pinkie's brain scrambled for names like it was on fire and the mini-Pinkies were in sheer no-plan panic mode. As such, she spit out the first name that made its way into the light of coherency. "My name is Olympia! Nice to meet you, Ms. O!"
She could feel the internal groan from where she was standing.
Ms. O, however, didn't seem to mind. "Likewise. Keep it up and you'll be on fast track for graduation. Maybe I'll even have a spot open for you."
Her words only served to confuse Pinkie, as if her words weren't already confusing enough. So the pony-turned-human nodded and smiled.
"Hey! Oprah!"
Pinkie's eyes shifted past Ms. O and landed on another girl and a boy who were approaching them. Pinkie was quick to note that the boy was tall, almost absurdly so. Like Princess Luna, just as the first pony that came to mind. And just like Ms. O, he and his friend were wearing navy suits, with the only difference being that he had pants and donned a purple tie instead of a two-rowed necklace with purple beads.
If this was an ambush, Pinkie walked right into the fire.
If it wasn't an ambush, she'd probably let her jaw drop a few stories if she didn't keep it in check.
"Where were you two?" Ms. O asked. "I've been checking out baby stuff for Orson for the past fifteen minutes!"
The girl rolled her eyes. "Otto got stuck in a row of office chairs." Noticing Ms. O opening her mouth, she held up a hand. "Please don't ask me why. I only left to look at the laptop displays for five minutes."
"Don't you have a laptop?"
"Yeah. One I paid almost 1,000 Jackalope Dollars for that got destroyed by a rogue blob, remember?"
"...Oh."
Pinkie had to admit, the dynamic between the girl and Otto was similar to the dynamics she and her friends shared. It was this similarity that allowed her body to relax a little, putting on a genuine smile and letting part of her worries melt away. "D'aww, you guys must be bestest friends, huh?"
Both kids looked at her like they had just noticed her. "Sure are." Otto piped up, wrapping his arm around the girl and pulling her close. "Olive and I are partners. Though you, uh, probably already know that."
A series of choking sounds coming from the girl -- named Olive, supposedly -- paired with frantically waving limbs made Pinkie's eyes widen. "Hey, you're squishing her!"
Otto gasped, immediately setting down Olive. "Oh God, I'm so sorry." He watched as his partner bent over and began sucking up air like it was the last in stock on a store shelf. "I'm really not used to having so much strength I have now that I finished my training under Oscar. Y-you know Oscar, right? Lab Director of Precinct 13579? Inventor of gadget-combining? Ah, you probably have."
Pinkie didn't respond, instead taking a pause to think about the irony of what she just said.
"Anyway, you two, this is Olympia. She just moved to Toronto."
"Nice to meet ya!" Otto grinned and took Pinkie's hoof- er, hand, shaking it. "Let me introduce myself a bit more formally. I'm Otto, the co-Director of the Mississauga Odd Squad Precinct."
Olive weakly raised a hand. "Olive. Co-Director of the Miss-" A round of coughs interrupted her. "Mississauga precinct. Otto's my...partner. With a heck of a strong grip."
"I said I was sorry!"
"Not as sorry as you're gonna be when I wring-" Coughing. "Oh God, I felt the mucus come up that time..."
"You want me to get you some water?"
"You paying?"
"Yeah?"
"Then go get me some." Olive straightened up. "And if you're not back in ten minutes, I will find you."
"And you'll kill me?"
"Don't confuse Olympia with needless references, partner. Just get me the water."
"All right, all right. On it."
Pinkie watched as Otto walked away, then her gaze turned on Olive. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"
Olive waved a dismissive hand. "He does this stuff all the time. Oscar's still working on trying to get him to balance his strength so that when he hugs me it doesn't kill me."
"Good, 'cause hugs shouldn't hurt pon- people!" Pinkie bit her lip at her slipup. "They shouldn't hurt people! Hugs are supposed to be soft and warm and friendly!"
"I agree. But tell that to him." Playfully rolling her eyes, Olive smiled. "Have you made lots of new friends at the Academy?"
Pinkie eagerly nodded. "Uh-huh! I've made friends like Twilight, and Applejack, and- and Fluttershy, Dashie, Rarity!"
Oprah and Olive shared a confused glance. "I don't think you heard the last part of Olive's question." the bun-haired Director said. "She asked if you made any new friends at the Academy. Not in the city."
Now Pinkie understood the question.
And now she understood how badly she messed up.
Luckily, she had an excuse on-hoof -- or, well, on-hand -- ready to go. "Ah, s-sorry! Those are, uh, my imaginary friends. Haven't let go of them since I was a fi- a baby, it seems! Haha...aah..."
Yeah, no. Something told her that Ms. O and Olive weren't buying it. But at the same time, their expressions told her that a girl who hadn't quite grown out of the "having imaginary friends" phase of childhood wasn't exactly news in a world full of tentacle-limbed men and cute manipulative puffball creatures, which was good for her.
"Um, so anyway...why are you called Ms. O and you're called Olive? I dunno about you, but I always thought 'Ms.' was a title."
"'Ms. O' is the title given to female Directors, while 'Mr. O' is given to male ones. Some Directors are more...strict about being called that than others..." Olive jabbed a finger at Oprah. "But Otto and I are more relaxed when it comes to it. You can call us by name, not by title."
"You can thank him for that. He helped Olive to not be so uptight."
"That's not why! I would have dropped the rule anyway!"
"Uh-huh. The grass in the Odd Woods is multicolored too, you know that?"
"Oh you're not you when you're hungry. Have a juice box."
"What was that about making needless references?"
Pinkie came to the conclusion that this trio got into more spats than her friends did, though to her, it was just more proof of how strong their friendship was. Rainbow Dash would be proud, especially for how often she butted heads with Applejack and still was friends with her by the end of the day.
Oprah reached behind her back, obtained a fruit-punch-flavored juice box with the straw already inside, and took a mighty sip from it. "You should get back to your group, Olympia. You don't want them to leave the store without you."
"Oh! Right! Wow, I completely forgot." Pinkie turned on her heel. "Nice meeting you! And Otto too. Bye!"
And so, she merrily bounced away.
Unfortunately, pronking doesn't really work as well with two arms and two legs.
"I'm okay!" she called, getting to her feet in a second and resorting to running towards...well...she had no idea yet. She did know she wanted to get out of the store, though. Maybe she could visit that Odd Squad Academy. After all, if her goal was to spread happiness and smiles to this world, she needed a good launching point.
And also a good disguise, to ensure she wouldn't get smited by either this world's inhabitants or by any of Equestria's royalty. Did this place even have royalty? Were Directors princes and princesses? The more she thought about it, the more questions surfaced in her mind.
Maybe a trip back to Equestria to clear her head would help. She needed to go back to work, anyway, so it was a win-win. She'd see more of this new world later. For now, all she had to worry about was whether the portal had closed or not.
Finding the portal that was still open was a relief.
Stepping into her homeland once more was even more so.
Pinkie didn't necessarily have a good gauge on the world she had just gone to yet. She learned of the existence of "Odd Squad", saw and met kids in suits that apparently belonged to "Odd Squad", and visited a store that was far more expansive than Davenport's store any day of the week. And it had only been...what? A half-hour? An hour? Looking out the back door of Sugarcube Corner showed that it was at least the afternoon still, evidenced by the ponies walking and trotting through Ponyville.
Sighing, Pinkie closed the door and turned around. The portal was no longer there. A frown formed on her face before she mentally put "master the recipe that will activate the portal" to her to-do list and took a deep breath to prime herself for helping potential customers.
"Pinkie? Is that you?" Mrs. Cake called, trotting down the stairs. "Goodness, where have you been? We couldn't find you!"
"Sorry! I, uh...had to go to Carousel Boutique for a delivery. Rarity ordered some cupcakes for her and Sweetie Belle but couldn't pick them up, so I decided to deliver them firsthoof!"
Mrs. Cake moved behind the counter and headed for the kitchen. "Ah, I see. Well, in the future, would you mind telling me or Mr. Cake where you're going? And don't run off when you're not on break, either."
"Got it!" Pinkie grinned, reaching back with her hoof to give herself a pat on the back for coming up with a good excuse on the fly. Maybe she was getting better at those. If she was, then it would be a skill put to good use in the other world. Which reminded her, she had to finish crafting her "Olympia" identity...but that would be for later. She needed to recreate the portal first.
Throughout the day, she helped many ponies find the pastries they wanted, all while thinking of ways to open up the portal. All she had to go off of was that two cups of unicorn magic and rainbows were used, but as an Earth pony, she had no unicorn magic on her nor could she access any rainbows. So she was forced to stick with the cupcake batter and figure out what ingredients she used and how many. After all, crafting the perfect portal took careful measurements, just like in baking.
It wasn't until she had sent the last pony off that she had gotten an idea. How convenient that said pony happened to be a Pegasus.
"Hey, Cloud Trail!" she called, bursting through the door and making a mighty leap to land right in front of the white-furred Pegasus mare before she could fly off. "Can I ask you for a favor?"
"Oh, anything for you, Pinkie Pie! What is it?"
"Can you get me some of that liquid rainbow? The reeeeeeeally spicy stuff?"
Cloud's brow furrowed for a moment, as though wondering how Pinkie was able to taste the liquid rainbow she was describing. "Uh...sure! If I might ask, what do you need it for?"
"Just wanna try out some new recipes with it. I experimented the other day but the cupcakes that came out were totally tongue-tying! And not in a good way!"
"Hopefully not in a literal way either." Cloud chuckled. "Anyway, I'll get that for you and drop it off tomorrow before I go to work. How much do you need?"
Here was where Pinkie had to do some quick math. She wasn't sure how often she needed to remake the portal, but then again, she couldn't just dry up the weather factory's rainbow pools completely. She had to ration it, so that the Pegasi could still make rainbows. Unless there was another way to get liquid rainbow, but she never asked Rainbow Dash or any other Pegasus about it. She made another mental note to at least ask Rainbow later on.
"Hmm...maybe six large jars?"
"That much?" Cloud blinked in surprise, then shrugged. "Well, all right."
Pinkie scooped the other mare up in a tight hug. "Thanks so so soooooo much, Cloud Trail! You're the best!"
"Don't...mention it..." Cloud gave a dry cough. "Could you please put me down, though? I can feel my wingbones creaking..."
Pinkie suddenly flashed back to Otto doing the same thing to Olive, and quickly set Cloud down before she could become a mess of waving limbs and rattling hacks. "Oh! Sorry." She gave a sheepish grin before turning and waving. "See ya tomorrow!"
She didn't bother to hear the "bye" Cloud gave back. She was already making a beeline for Rarity's boutique to secure some unicorn magic. She wasn't sure whose unicorn magic she had to begin with -- Twilight had given it to her and she was too busy to answer the question of where it came from -- so she had to resort to asking all of her horned friends for assistance. Surely one of them had magic potent enough to create a lasting portal.
...Okay, that was a little rhetorical. Twilight had potent magic. And she was an alicorn, which would make the portal even better, even stronger, more long-lasting. Another win-win.
Pinkie changed course. As she dodged pony after pony, her heart beat faster and faster with excitement, while her brain stirred with conversation pieces she could give to Twilight that wouldn't make her suspicious. Though Pinkie had an advantage in the form of "Pinkie being Pinkie" being offered as a reason behind a lot of her actions, Twilight was still a very perceptive pony, and she hadn't forgotten the alicorn struggling to find meaning behind her Pinkie Sense. Pinkie had to keep the other world safe. If other ponies like her went through it, who knew what would happen? If this "Odd Squad" really did get rid of oddities, they probably would exterminate ponies on sight just for not looking like that incredibly deformed unicorn.
When she got to the door, she began frantically banging on it, her eyes widening when the door creaked open after the third-or-so knock. She was quick to make her way inside, galloping through the halls as her head whipped back and forth and her vocal cords resonated with the call of her friend's name.
"Pinkie? Pinkie!"
Pinkie skidded to a halt, taking the carpet with her as it bunched up. She turned, her features lighting up when she noticed who had summoned her. "Twilight! Twilight Twilight Twilight Twilight-"
And so the name-calling continued, right up until Pinkie barreled into her target and sent both of them rolling on the floor like a marble on a decline. Pinkie was the one who ended up on the bottom, which was weird to her because she was usually on the top, but that was only a fleeting thought as she waved her front legs wildly.
"Pinkie, calm down!" snapped Twilight, before Pinkie could even speak. "And please get off of me."
"Oh, sorry!" Pinkie backed off, leaving room for Twilight to stand. "But I need to ask you for something! It's super-duper-ooper important!"
"...Do you mean 'uber'?"
"No, silly! That's for emergency favors."
Twilight fixed her with a half-lidded stare that held no trace of amusement. "Uh-huh. So what did you want to ask?"
"I need some...no, wait..." Pinkie tapped her chin. "I need three large jars of your magic! Stat! On the double!"
Twilight's expression was hesitant. "My magic? Why do you need my magic?"
"Well, you see, I had this unicorn magic in the kitchen that I used to make some super-awesome cupcakes but I don't have any more and so I thought 'hmm, alicorn magic would make these taste soooooo much better!' So I decided to come to you 'cause you're the only alicorn and I dunno about you but it'd be weird if I asked Celestia and Luna for their magic but you're my bestest friend so of course I'd come to you first! And also I need some liquid rainbow which Cloud Trail is getting for me but she won't deliver it until tomorrow and I really really reeeeeeally wanna try experimenting tonight so I kinda sorta thought your magic would be more powerful than unicorn magic and rainbows combined!"
For a minute or two, all Twilight did was stare at her in utter confusion -- a standard reaction for anyone when it came to Pinkie's ramblings. Still, the pinkest pony in the name of pink was confident she would trot away with what she was looking for.
"I...uh..." Twilight's eyes darted around the room in thought. "So, to sum up...you want my magic for a cupcake recipe?"
"Ding ding ding! You are correct!"
A small portion of confetti was thrown in Twilight's face, which was followed by Pinkie standing up on her back hooves and clapping with her front ones. Twilight rubbed a piece off of her cheek and stared at her friend. "Well, I don't know how good my magic will be in taste, but I'm happy to help. I'll get some jars from the kitchen."
As Twilight teleported away, Pinkie returned to four hooves again and glanced around the room. To her complete lack of surprise, it was filled with book after book, neatly organized by name, author, color, and series number. She tried looking for a book on the world she had gone to, just out of curiosity's sake, but nothing presented itself. As it should be. Looking for books on "Odd Squad" didn't turn up anything either, leading Pinkie to realize that there certainly wasn't an equine equivalent of it lurking in Equestria somewhere. Once again, as it should be.
It only took another few minutes for Twilight to teleport back, three fully-stocked glass jars floating in her purple magic aura. "Here you g-" She winced as her magic sputtered out, leading Pinkie to extend her tail and catch the jars vertically. "Sorry for the wait. I didn't think there would be too many adverse effects...but my head is pounding."
Pinkie watched as the jars seeped into her tail as though it were a vat of goo. "No, no, don't apologize! If anything, I should apologize! Common sense kiiiinda escaped me, I guess." She gave a bout of nervous laughter. "Anyway, thanks a bunch, Twi! I'll be sure to save a cupcake or two for you to try! Oh, and one for Spike too, of course."
"Thanks." Twilight began to meander towards the doors, clutching her hoof to her head. "If you find Spike out there somewhere, can you tell him to pick up some aspirin?"
Pinkie followed, bouncing ahead of her. "Sure thing!"
As Twilight was about to give another thank-you, her horn sparked, causing her to give a sharp yelp as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"Are you gonna be okay?"
"I'll...be fine. If I just rest for a little bit, I think I'll be set." Twilight responded, her voice raspy. "See you later, Pinkie."
Pinkie didn't give her own goodbyes right away, instead bouncing out the doors and watching as Twilight went to her right and stumbled her way towards...well, wherever she was going. Probably her room.
"Try not to use any magic!"
"Uh-huh..."
As much as Pinkie wanted to stay behind and make sure Twilight got the rest she needed, she had things to do. Besides, Spike should be around to help Twilight get into bed. Maybe. Hopefully.
So with the jars of alicorn magic in hoof, she raced back to Sugarcube Corner, theories and experiments running through her mind like carriages on busy Manehattan streets. She had to get this portal right. She had to get to that other world again. And she had to find out what this "Odd Squad" was really about. If they were going to get in her way of her goal of spreading joy, then she needed to find a way to deal with them before they dealt with her.
Pinkie had lost track of time.
It was very uncharacteristic of her. But in between the experiments she ran and the peeks into other worlds that weren't Toronto, all she knew was that it was nighttime. She hadn't even noticed the Cakes going to bed by the time she had depleted one jar of Twilight's magic and had moved on to the second one.
Now, she was beginning her third jar. A few stray mane hairs popped out of place as she unscrewed the cap. Her bottom eye twitched as a desperate plea by her facial muscles to let her organs rest for the night. Her teeth ground together in frustration as she tried to figure out one thing:
Where am I going wrong?!
She lost track of how many cupcakes she had made, too. No matter how much she tried to recreate the recipe, something seemed off. She remembered adding a pinch of something to the cupcakes...maybe? She couldn't recall.
It was only when she had taken a bathroom break that it hit her.
Last time, the cupcakes fell on the floor and made the portal. So by that logic...what if...
It was a true eureka moment. She quickly washed her hooves and rushed downstairs, eyeing the freshly-made batch of cupcakes sitting on the kitchen counter. Knowing where she wanted the portal to be activated -- assuming she even had a choice in the matter -- she moved her head under the tin of pastries to lift it up, then went back upstairs. From there, she dashed into her room and closed the door behind her, making sure to lock it in case the Cakes woke up and decided to investigate the cause.
A sigh slipped from her lips. Her blue eyes scanned the walls for what felt like hours, and when she found the perfect spot, she trotted over.
"Here goes nothing!"
A flick of her head, a quick pivot on the tips of her front hooves, and a quick buck sent the tin and the cupcakes flying towards the wall. The cupcakes splattered, while the tin clattered to the floor.
Pinkie held her breath.
The ruined cupcakes began to glow a bright purple, then suddenly seeped into the wall. Seconds later, a circular portal formed, starting small and growing outward until it was a reasonable size for one pony to fit through. Completely entrenched in the wall, it didn't look like it was going anywhere anytime soon.
Her jaw dropped. A breathy chuckle forced its way out, which seemed to be a trigger for her eyelid to go mad again. If someone had walked in and seen her in her current state, they would have called her insane. Not that it mattered to her, because she had come across a complete breakthrough.
She leaped up into the air with an excited squeal. "I did it! I made the portal!" she cheered, giving no regard to anyone else sleeping in the building. Once she landed, she rushed through the portal without a second thought.
"Here I coooo- "
She was met with nothing but a landscape of pure night. Toronto was largely quiet, though there were still oddities roaming around. "Odd Squad" didn't seem to be around to take care of them, though, which surprised her but also didn't surprise her at the same time. She made a mental note that this world, much like the other human world, didn't have any temporal disparity -- if it was nighttime in Equestria, it was nighttime in Toronto too.
A noisy yawn that she had inadvertently been holding back came out, and the back of her hand rubbed against her eye. "Ugh..." She turned towards the portal. "Guess my job here's done for the night. Still got a lotta work to do, though."
Which included cleaning up the kitchen, much to her dismay. However, she found herself utterly incapable of doing that, as she meandered back through the portal and promptly collapsed onto her bed. Had she noticed that the portal was still active despite her exit, she would have been surprised and very excited. But with it being Celestia-knows-when in the night (the morning?), all she wanted to do was sleep. Whatever needed to be worked out with the portal, as well as with the identity she would assume while she was in Toronto, could wait, for now.
The note had been laid out on the countertop, right next to the register. It told of a friendship mission Pinkie had been called on to a faraway land where she might not return for a few days...or even a few weeks, if worse came to worse. Any inquiries they had could be redirected to Gummy, who would be holding down the fort in his owner's absence.
As Pinkie closed her suitcase and began tucking it into her mane, she looked at the portal, then out the window. The sky only had a few kisses of sunlight within it. Celestia was raising the sun. Ponies would be getting up soon.
She bit her lip. Maybe I should've told the Cakes I was leaving for a few months, not a few days...
Nah. If I did that, they would've gotten suspicious.
As much as she wanted to tell her friends, she didn't want to make them suspicious too. The whole point of exploring this new world, after all, was not to draw suspicion from anyone, whether it was from the ponies of Ponyville or from "Odd Squad".
Rushing to the door to make sure it was sealed tight, she let out a sigh. It was supposed to sound relieved, but came out more anxiety-ridden instead. She wouldn't be lying if she said she wasn't scared at what she was planning on doing. One wrong move, and the cat would be out of the bag. She couldn't, wouldn't, risk that.
That, naturally, included leaving Gummy behind. Her becoming a human in another world largely unfamiliar to her was bad enough. She didn't want to know what Gummy would turn into if he went through the portal.
"I'll...see you soon, Gummy. Real soon."
With a deep breath, she took careful hoofsteps into the portal and closed her eyes.
TO-DO LIST FOR TORONTO:
Look at my new human form. Learn what I look like and remember it!
Apply to that "Odd Squad Academy" Ms. O mentioned
Learn all I can about "Odd Squad" -- are they dangerous? Or are they nice? Ms. O, Olive and Otto were nice, so does that mean "Odd Squad" is nice? Must investigate
Make some friends
Spread smiles!
Oh yeah, and try the candy here. And the food. Oh, and the pastries! I bet they're all super delicious!
In a nearby clothing store, Pinkie stared at the mirror that hung in the changing room. Her new human form seemed rather...what was that word Rarity used once? "Sloh-vein-lie"? No...it was "sloh-vehn-lee". Slovenly. Yes, she looked slovenly.
She donned a roomy gray sweatshirt with some sort of a weird emblem on it, one of those images that just kept going and going. Now that she looked at it, the emblem was on her navy pants and her purple shoes, too. She tenderly touched the purple glasses that sat on her face, blinking as she realized that she still had perfect vision with them on when she wasn't visually impaired in any way before. Usually, when she wore glasses with lens, the world got really blurry and she could barely see anything. It felt weird, but the glasses were a nice touch on her, so she decided to keep them.
Her auburn-red hair was nice too. Tied back in a large down ponytail and secured by a purple tie...
Wow, what's with all the purple? Maybe I should be called Purplie Pie! Or Violetie Pie!
She giggled, toying with her hair for a few moments before she gave an affirmative nod. She had a name. She had a physical appearance that would help others recognize her...well, aside from the tan skin. It seemed like quite a few humans here had skin like that. Either way, she was ready to go to her next destination. Getting directions from a few store clerks, Pinkie began making her way to what would become her new school.
And while the journey there was long and arduous -- seriously, what was Torontonian public transportation? -- the school itself was an incredible sight.
Boasting six buildings of varying colors and shapes, the Odd Squad Academy looked more akin to that one bakers' school for rich ponies Pinkie had tried to get into in her teenage years, in that it was more of a college campus than anything else. Hopefully it wasn't as classist as that bakers' school. She still remembered the harsh rejection letter along with the "INSUFFICIENT INCOME FOR ADMITTANCE" wording stamped across it.
She looked around at the many students that passed her, hoping to spot a few friendly faces. At some point she began to run towards what had to be the front doors, wanting to get admitted to the school as soon as possible so she could start making friends and spreading smiles.
When she spotted a front desk, she bounced up to it. "Hi! I want to attend school here, please!"
The agent in charge, donning a similar suit as Olive but with a red tie and red shoes, eyed her with confusion, glancing at her shirt and then making eye contact with her. "Um...are you sure you aren't already attending?"
"Positive!" Pinkie grinned. "My name's Olympia! Do you have an Olympia here?"
The agent began typing on her computer. Pinkie watched curiously as she squinted, then widened her eyes.
"Well I'll be. We don't have an Olympia in our student body." The agent glanced at her. "May I ask why you're wearing an Academy uniform if you aren't attending the Academy?"
"I, uh, I-I-shadow! I was, um, I shadowed here...once...and they gave me a uniform and everything! See, I just moved to Toronto and I need to pick a school and I figured since my name started with an O like Ms. O and Olive and Otto I could come to the Academy and learn all about Odd Squad here so here I am! And also, also, the uniform's really cool!"
While Pinkie hoped her cobbled excuse was good enough, it surprised her that the agent's eyes went slightly half-lidded as though she had heard motor mouths before. "You've met the modern greats already? How long have you been living in Canada?"
"Allmylife!"
The agent stared at Pinkie, then sighed. "Lived in Canada all your life, just moved to Toronto, terrified about attending the Odd Squad Academy. One more and it might outclass the dancing shark I saw last week." She went back to typing on the computer. "Anyway, Olympia, was it? I'll need your DOB."
"Born on a Tuesday! October 20th! I'm eleven!" Jeezaloo, am I possessed or something? That's not even my real birthday!
"Mhm, got it. Your name starts with an O, so there's no need for a name-change..."
And on and on it went. Pinkie was forced to give a fake address, a fake emergency contact, and a fake record of her current vaccinations. As unsurprising as it was, the ponytail she donned was thick enough to serve as good hammerspace for her to reach in and pull out all kinds of items -- an act that apparently wasn't deemed odd enough for the ones dressed in business suits to sentence her to execution for.
It felt like forever before she heard those magic words: "All right. You're in. I'll have your schedule printed by tomorrow."
"I'm in?!"
"Yes. You're in." The agent stood up and stuck out her hand. "Welcome to the Odd Squad Academy, Olympia."
"Yes!" Pinkie did a fist-pump, grabbing the agent's hand and shaking it with enough force to send said agent shaking along with it. "Thank you thank you thank you! Oh, I'm so happy!"
"A-a-any...ohh..." The agent began feeling around her general bubble, beginning to stumble away as Pinkie's grip loosened on her.
And then she keeled over.
"I'm gonna...ohhhh no..."
Okay, making someone throw up was not how you became their friend.
Pinkie knew this. She just got a little overexcited, that's all. Surely she could apologize and try again. It was an honest mistake. She had done the same thing tons of other times to ponies, and most of them always managed to forgive her. Why would a human in this world be any different?
...Yeah, okay, no. The stink eye shot at her by the agent the next time their eyes locked answered that question.
Still, that was where one of the other agents stepped in. Explaining that Ortega was prone to getting sick easily and was very much jaded from working at "Odd Squad"- whoops, Odd Squad for so many years, he offered Pinkie a tour of the school so she could prepare for tomorrow, which she happily accepted. She got to see every single building from top to bottom, peek inside a few classrooms, and even meet a few students who quickly befriended her.
Once the tour was over, she decided to head back into town to check out the bakeries as a way to fill up the rest of her day. She was quite hungry anyway, and needed something to fill her up. It would, at the very least, knock something else off of her to-do list.
The bell above the door to the bakery that was quite literally called Town Bakery tinkled a friendly tune. Pinkie moved to the side to allow a couple to walk out with a cake in a box, then made her way inside and began ogling the pastries. They didn't look as divine as Sugarcube Corner's...in fact, she could argue they looked decent. But as Rarity often told her, looks can be deceiving.
"Hi there!" a woman's voice called. "I'll be right with you!"
"Sure thing, just take your time!"
While she waited, Pinkie reached into her hair and pulled out the booklet the guide had given her. She had obtained all sorts of information about the school from him, but as this was the place where she was going to start her smile-spreading journey, she wanted anything and everything she could get her hands on.
"Sorry about the wait." The woman, wearing a traditional baker's outfit, stumbled out of the back room. "Oh, Odd Squad! Er...I think?"
"I'm a new student at the Odd Squad Academy!" Pinkie chirped. "My name's Olympia!"
"Ah, that explains it. Sorry about that. I'm really not used to seeing any more than agents in business suits." The baker laughed. "Anyway, what can I get for you?"
Pinkie tapped her chin. There were so many good options...but maybe humans having large appetites wasn't so common in this world, so "everything on your menu" was off the list. "Can I get...um...oh, oh, I know! A chocolate cake!"
"A whole chocolate cake?"
"Yeah!" Pinkie blinked. "Wait, no, uh...not a whole cake. Two chocolate cake slices, please!" Two...that's not so uncommon, right?
"Sure!" The baker tapped on some kind of ele- a computer. Yes, that was a computer. More specifically, a tablet. Pinkie's time in the other human world had served her well when it came to technological knowledge.
Finally, when it came time to hear the price: "Your total will be $4 exactly."
Pinkie reached into her pocket.
Stopped.
Realized two things.
I don't have any money in my pocket, do I? And...do stores here even take bits?
Beginning to panic, she furiously reached in her hair and dug around for any semblance of a dollar bill or a coin. While it was an easy money generator back in Equestria -- not that she would tell anyone; it was a get-rich-quick secret -- she didn't know if that translated to this world.
"I-If you can't pay it, don't worry about i-"
"No, no! Please, I-I can pay it! Just...gimme a minute..."
After another minute or two, Pinkie finally pulled out a bill. It didn't quite look like the money she had seen in the other human world, though. It looked similar, but this bill had a picture of a jackalope on it.
"Ohh, a $10 Jackalope Dollar bill?" The baker smiled. "It's your lucky day, huh?"
Pinkie stared at her, surprised that her nabbing free money didn't raise any suspicions -- if not in the "she can pull stuff out of her hair?" sense, then in the "where did she get that money from?" sense. Either way, she was confident that the bill was not four bits like she had wanted to grab. But at the same time...it seemed to be accepted currency here, at least far more so than bits.
"Yeah...I guess it is." she responded hesitantly, placing the bill on the table. "Here."
The baker took the money, opened the register, and took out a $5 Jackalope Dollar bill followed by a $1 one. "Here you are!"
Pinkie took the money and put it back in her hair, more on instinct than anything else. Upon checking, she found out that the booklet she had been holding earlier was also back in her hair. But that wasn't what worried her.
No, what worried her was her hair suddenly shifting to meet this world's currency needs. It was like it knew it was in another world. She was confident she had no Jackalope Dollar bills in it when she was in Equestria...but then, she hadn't really paused to look. She never thought "I'd like to have a Jackalope Dollar", reached into her hair, and gotten one.
Ah well. Something to look into, she supposed. But that was low on the priority list.
"All righty, two chocolate cake slices for you!"
Pinkie eyed the slices, the feeling of hunger beginning to gnaw at her more fiercely than before. After giving her thanks to the baker, she went towards an empty table, sat down, and immediately dug in.
Honestly, getting her hopes up over the slices tasting anything above "decent" was a dumb move.
The cake was...average. Sort of like what Rainbow made once. Pinkie had lied through her teeth, telling her it was amazing, but in reality it was just...average. Certainly nothing like the gorgeous confectioneries Sugarcube Corner made.
...Okay, maybe that was a little biased. But she knew good sweet treats when she tasted them, however much Twilight tried to insist she didn't taste most of the food she ate.
Still, she was hungry, and she had a ton of other bakeries to hit up in town, so she gobbled down the slices and began heading off towards the next stop.
By the time she checked into a hotel around sunset, Pinkie was sure she had made lots of friends. At the very least, nearly everyone she met was friendly enough to ask for her name and give her a smile.
But she knew friendship. And simply asking for someone's name and giving them a smile didn't mean you were their friend. She would have to get to know the people she met on a deeper level if she wanted to really become their friend.
Sitting on her bed, she reached into her mane and began taking out to-go box after to-go box. Really, when she wasn't befriending people, she was trying all sorts of delicious food and paying up accordingly, pushing the limits of just how much money her mane stored. To no surprise, it was a lot. A lot that would probably convert to bits when she stepped through the portal.
At some point in her unloading, she pulled out the booklet she had been handed by the agent who had showed her around. She had been so busy touring Toronto that she never took the time to stop and read it.
Well...there was no time like the present. After all, tomorrow was her first day at the Academy.
Opening a to-go box and taking out a cookie, she flipped to the first page.
Welcome to the Odd Squad Academy -- "E Weirdipus Bizarreum, Strangeus Non Normalur"
What is Odd Squad?
Odd Squad is an organization run by kids. We investigate anything strange, weird, and especially odd. Our job is to put it right again.
(It's a lot more complicated than that, but chances are your Professor Os have probably already told you.)
A frown formed on Pinkie's face as she read through the motto at the top again. She knew for a fact it wasn't Ponish...maybe pony Latin? Some kind of Latin. Though translating it was out of her realm of knowledge. She recognized bits and pieces like "weird" and "bizarre", "strange and "normal", but outside of that it just looked like gibberish. She made a mental note to ask Twilight for a few language books sometime.
Flipping through the rest of the pages showed a list of rules for the school, as well as a map of where each building and each classroom was and a list of staff as well as their odd-looking numbers (which were the result of adding up letters in names). Pinkie absorbed every bit of information, knowing it would take her several steps closer to finding out whether Odd Squad was a friend or a foe.
One glance out the window when she was three-fourths of the way done showed that the moon had risen already. Another glance at the clock on her wall showed it was 10PM.
Which turned into 10:30 by the time she went about eating dessert, putting her food away, bathing, brushing her teeth, and climbing into bed. Lucky that her hotel room came with a free mini-fridge. The perks of free money.
Laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, she felt her heart race with nervousness and excitement. Nervouscitedness, as it were. Tomorrow was her first day of school at the Odd Squad Academy. It was pure deja vu from when she had first attended school in Ponyville as a filly. How excited she was to meet her new classmates and make new friends, even if a lot of them turned out to be friendship rejectors who got their kicks from mocking and teasing her.
She only hoped she would have a better experience at the Academy, with more human students.
Eventually, fatigue overtook her. Her dreams became filled with all of the fun times she would have at the Academy -- throwing parties, making new friends, and of course, spreading smiles to everyone she came across.
Arriving in classroom 1B for Odd Sciences, Pinkie was quick to note at how the room looked similar to that of a college, just like the building itself.
She was also quick to note how completely apathetic the Professor O teaching the class was. His half-lidded eyes, his droning monotonic voice, and the way he would mutter something about low salaries were all clear indicators that he really needed some cheering-up.
And with that, she had her first customer.
She tried to pose as an enthusiastic student who was eager to learn. She absorbed everything she could about Odd Squad, asked questions, and received weird looks from other students. That last one she didn't mind so much, though. Her main focus was befriending Professor O.
Hammerspace 101 was an interesting class. If not because it was one of the ones she excelled in, then because the Professor O leading that class took a shining interest to her for whatever reason. She was more perky, which delighted Pinkie but unnerved everyone else.
After only two weeks, Pinkie imagined she was getting top marks in every class, something that wasn't a reality when she attended school back in Ponyville. But top marks were good, because it meant she could explore more of what Odd Squad was about. It felt like every day brought new knowledge, and at one point, she had asked one of the students she had made friends with, Omity, just how much there was to learn.
The answer rattled in her brain for a while: "So much, your mind will explode. Not literally, though."
And the more she thought about it, the more excited she got.
She had to restrain herself from asking too many times when graduation was, because she had a feeling it would set her back. Not to mention all she got for an answer was "soon". Soon when? There was far more to explore than the Academy. And it wasn't like she could go and join up with a precinct herself. There was a standard procedure that had to be followed.
So she continued to excel, walking on the road to studiosity and becoming one of the up-and-coming agents that showed the most promise while also continuing to let her happiness become infectious to everyone she passed. She made sure to go beyond a simple smile and wave, and discovered new interests that she had never even heard of, like blob-tossing and curling.
There was one downside, though, and that was her lack of progress in cheering up Professor O. No matter what she tried, he still had the same gloomy look on his face. Even when his birthday rolled around, he didn't so much as host a party. As far as Pinkie knew, no one even gave him presents.
Right then and there, she made a Pinkie Promise to pull him aside and make him smile, or as Celestia was her witness, she wasn't going to graduate. Because if she couldn't make him smile, what hope did she have of making agents at her future precinct smile?
It was a week after his birthday. Pinkie made her way into the Science building of the Academy campus, finding him chatting with a sandy-haired boy wearing glasses and a labcoat.
"Professor O, Professor O!" She frantically waved. "Happy birthday!"
The boy gave Pinkie a confused look, which he aimed right at Professor O soon after. "It's your birthday today?"
"Last week."
"Oh, happy belated birthday! Bet it was a good one, heh."
Professor O didn't get a chance to respond, as Pinkie grabbed his arm and bounced up and down.
"Hey..." The boy pointed. "You're Olympia, right?"
Pinkie turned. "Yup! Who're you?"
"Oscar. President of the Scientists." The boy stuck out his hand. "I'm surprised we haven't met yet. Though, I think you've only been here for...what, a few weeks?"
Pinkie gladly accepted the handshake, though her excitement caused her to be rather rough, making Oscar stumble a little. "Yeah! The Academy's really fun. I bet I'm doing amazing! Ooh, ooh, can you tell me what my grades are? Oh, wait, I bet you can't. You're not the principal of the Academy."
"Nope. You'll get your grades in November." Oscar said. "We go by three-month quarters here."
Pinkie's expression fell. "Oh." And then, just as quickly, it brightened. "Well that's okay! All I really want is to cheer up Professor O."
A heavy sigh of annoyance was her response, though she was too absorbed in running through other potential plans to notice.
"Good luck with that." Oscar smirked. "He's always been like this. If you can make him happy aga-"
The sound of something exploding could be heard from behind a set of doors just behind the front desk, and Oscar proceeded to scream at a pitch that could best be described by Pinkie as "Scootaloo if she faked the sound of screaming". Professor O, on the contrary, remained stoic, merely turning his head to look.
A minute later, a duo of Scientists stumbled out, wearing the same clothes Pinkie was. Blue goo was all over their clothes, from their sweatshirts to their shoes. Pinkie could even see some in their hair.
"What..." Oscar blinked. "...did you..."
The first Scientist, with his hair sticking up like spikes, coughed. "S-sorry, Oscar." he muttered, wiping his cheek free of goo. "We were experimenting with blobs and Oisio decided to add bran flakes to the mixture..."
"Which are explosive."
They glanced at Professor O, their eyes widening. "Yeah."
Professor O's eyes somehow turned more half-lidded than usual. "Tell me again how this place hasn't burned down to the ground yet."
"It was made from materials specifically designed to be explosion-resistant, heh."
"Weeeeell..." Pinkie rocked back and forth on her feet, a sly smile making its way across her face. "I have good news for you, Professor O! And you, and you, and you, and you, and all of you!"
"Oh no..."
"Just hear her out." Oscar advised. "I'm sure that whatever Olympia has planned isn't that bad."
Pinkie grabbed ahold of the Scientist's arm and jerked it towards her, making his body dip down just low enough for her to whisper into his ear. His pupils shrunk as he glanced at Professor O, then back at Pinkie.
"You...really?"
"Yeah!"
"For him?"
"Yeah!"
"...Are you absolutely sure?"
"Aww, Oscar, don't worry! I have experience in this kind of stuff! I was known as a bit of a party animal, if ya know what I mean..." Pinkie nudged him. "But I'm not graduating until I make Professor O smile!"
Professor O did a double-take, not that Pinkie noticed it.
"See, I live for making other po- people happy." Pinkie mentally slapped herself for her near-slipup. "But no matter what I do, I just can't seem to make Professor O do anything other than frown! I mean, that has to be so sad! And it doesn't reflect well on my classmates." She crossed her arms. "Smiling is good, and I want him to realize that!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Oscar could spot Professor O with his face buried into his hands. "Uh...well, that's great, heh! Just...excuse me for a moment."
Pinkie watched as Oscar slid over to Professor O. The boys turned their backs to her, and she tried to lean in as close as she could to figure out what they were saying without being accused of eavesdropping. If the secret was being spilled, she would never forgive Oscar, though in that moment, she regretted not forcing him to make a Pinkie Promise so it wouldn't come off as sheer pettiness.
...Actually, maybe she needed a new name for those. One would compromise her true identity. The other didn't roll off the tongue so well.
After a couple minutes, Oscar and Professor O broke free and turned back to Pinkie. "Sorry about that, heh. I have some, uh...work to do. But best of luck with your little...thing!"
It was clear to Pinkie now that maybe Oscar wasn't the best at social skills. Still, she gave her goodbyes and watched as he left.
"Final class of the day is about to start. Let's go." Professor O said, walking by her on his way out.
Pinkie glanced back at the doors that Oscar had gone through for a brief moment before she excitedly followed her teacher.
The months began to fly by so fast that Pinkie wouldn't have even been surprised if time travel were involved. She excelled in her classes as usual -- and boy, did her all-O's report cards reflect that -- but making Professor O smile was becoming more and more of a fruitless endeavor. If anything, he was seemingly becoming more and more annoyed by her presence, going so far as to try and single her out and then exclude her from lessons when singling her out only served to motivate her.
And that was to say nothing of the ponies back in Ponyville. Pinkie was forced to write a letter and place it where the Cakes could find it, tricking them into thinking she was going to still be a long while but would come home safe. It hurt to lie to them, especially for as long as she had been, but the more she got used to going to the new world, the more she committed to the bit.
By the time she was close to giving up on her mission, June was just getting started. She had long since learned that she was on the fast track to graduating by the summer, though she didn't get many details beyond that. Well, that, and something about Professor O wanting her out of the Academy as soon as possible.
The Big O himself having spoken to her about her behavior several months before only seemed to enforce this theory. He was...smaller than she had expected. He couldn't count higher than five, still played with toys, and spoke in a voice that was to be expected in five-year-olds, yet he ran the entirety of Odd Squad. It felt weird to obey him, but Pinkie obliged, pretending that she was obeying the whims of a young party guest to take some of the awkwardness out of it.
As Odd Diseases and Disorders concluded for the day, Pinkie received a notice that she was to be seen after class. Since she was the one who often went to Professor O, her mind went on high alert. Did she overstep her boundaries again? Was she getting another warning?
"Remind me again. You're on track to be an agent in the...Investigation department, by summer's end, right?"
"Yeah! I've been counting down the seconds, too! Though I don't know exactly when I'm gonna graduate 'cause I never really got a specific day-" Pinkie paused. "Oooooh, is that a smile I see?"
If Professor O did smile, it was lost in the quick reversion to a frown. "Well, I have bad news. I just got word from the Big O that it's not happening because-"
"WHAT?!" Pinkie stopped in her tracks, staring at Professor O with her mouth wide open and letting her books slip in the grip of her arms. Seeing that he wasn't going to stop and look back at her caused her to hastily run after him, adjusting her purple glasses. "B-but I'm such a good student! All my friends talk about my good grades! I-I help them study, and I always make sure they're happy in school! Why wouldn't I graduate?!"
Professor O gave an irritated sigh. "It's not happening..." He paused to fight the trembling of his lips and his voice. "...because he and I are letting you graduate right now."
With incredible comedic timing, the books fell to the floor, accompanying their owner's jaw-dropping reaction. It wasn't often that Pinkie was rendered speechless, but to graduate as early as June when the meteorological summer hadn't even started yet was news that shook her to her very core.
"Jeez, if it would've made you be quiet, I would've broken the news sooner." came Professor O's despondent mutter, but it went completely unheard of by Pinkie, who furiously shook her head to snap herself out of her shock.
"But...hold on, tell me more! Where am I going? Who'm I gonna be partnered with? Is it someone I know? Oh, please please pleeeeeeease let it be one of my friends!"
"Precinct 13579. The Director there has a couple spots open following the departure of two of her best agents, Olive and Otto. As for who you're gonna be partnered with, she declined to tell me."
"Is it a colt or a filly?"
"...Huh."
"Oop!" Pinkie covered her mouth. "I mean, is it a boy or a girl?"
"Just...follow me. I have something to show you."
Pinkie picked up her books and rushed after him, her heart racing in excitement. Thoughts of not seeing her friends again and memories of the many fun times she had at the Academy sat in the back of her mind, but first and foremost was seeing what her teacher had in store for her.
What met her vision was a sight that was truly incredible to behold. Sitting on a table covered with a red tablecloth was a large cake with eleven candles stuck into it and arranged neatly. Her friends made up a majority of the other guests, all giving her a grandiose round of applause and their well wishes. It didn't take long to deduce that this was a party.
No, correction -- a party for her.
She desperately tried to restrain herself from going crazy, but ultimately failed, rushing to each and every party guest and giving them her thanks. What was more, in the midst of Professor O giving his own congratulations, she saw him crack a smile. A small smile, but it was a smile all the same that marked the end of her mission. She could now graduate with satisfaction, knowing that she had made what had to be the grumpiest teacher of the entire Academy turn his frown upside down.
And with her mission complete, she could spice up her own party, for herself and all of the guests involved. Long had she boasted about her party-planning skills. Now she had a chance to show them off. It even earned her a fun new nickname, "The Celebration Master". It wasn't the most unique of nicknames, but it certainly stuck with her, all the way until she was gifted her graduation certificate and shunted up the tubes to her new workplace.
If one had exceptional hearing and put their ear to the ground, they might have been able to hear a long scream of elation.
Traveling through the tubes was a thrilling experience. It was like a fun carnival ride, but if the ride shifted your organs around in the process. Pinkie had experience with it through her lessons in the A Series of Tubes class, and also had experience with manipulating her body parts as a pony, so it didn't bother her.
What did bother her, though, was being sent on a case only a few seconds after arriving at Precinct 13579. She didn't even get past the Tube Lobby before she was introduced to her partner and fired off towards something called the "Mulligan Office Building". Still, when she and her partner exited the tubes, it left them both free to do whatever they wished.
"Okay, before we really get going, maaaaaybe we should introduce ourselves?" Pinkie grinned. "Speed stats: Olympia, 11 years old, favorite animal is alligator, favorite number is all of them, favorite color-"
"Duck!"
The next thing Pinkie knew, she was dragged to the ground. It took her a moment to reorient herself, looking around for anything that presented itself as dangerous. "Uh...what's...happening?"
"There's a duck." Pinkie's partner pointed at a lone duck waddling past them. "I...don't like ducks."
"Aww, why not? Ducks are great! Their waddling is so cute, and they can do really cool tricks in the water, oh, and there was this one time I saw an island in the middle of the lake with a house made for ducks! I wanted to go to it, but I couldn't, 'cause I can't fly."
Pinkie's partner stared at her. Pinkie responded in kind by smacking herself in the forehead.
"O...kay. Let's just go inside." Pinkie's partner rose to his feet. "The name's Otis, by the way."
By this point, Pinkie wasn't at all surprised that their names started with the same letter. "Olympia and Otis" did have a nice ring to it, though. "Nice to meetcha!"
When the duo were inside, they were quick to identify the problem. A man dressed in business-casual attire was floating in midair, though he looked disinterested at his predicament.
"Oh, Odd Squad." The man swung his arms in a desperate attempt to try and get down. "Please help me get down. I've been stuck up here forever and I really have to get to work."
Just as Pinkie was about to speak, Otis held up a hand. "Hold on. I've got this."
He took out a rope from behind his back. In a single leap and bound, he jumped up, tied the rope around the man, and pulled him down.
The act only lasted a few seconds, but Pinkie's jaw dropped all the same. She wasn't sure where to start first -- was Otis a disguised pegasus, like how she was a disguised earth pony? Did he have the same abilities she had? Were they secretly sibli- wait, no, that last question didn't quite make sense. Pinkie always had three sisters. If she had a secret brother, she was sure her mom or dad would've told her about him.
"Holy cheeseballs!" she exclaimed. "Otis, that was amazing! How...how did you do it?!"
Otis simply shrugged. "It's a talent." He bent down and tied the rope around a pillar.
"And you didn't mention this to me?!"
"We only just met." Otis glanced at the man. "Sir, would you mind explaining how you got this way?"
"Hopkins is fine, thank you. But anyway, I was walking towards my office when I suddenly started floating." Hopkins glanced upwards. "If it weren't for the low ceiling there, I would have gone all the way up."
Muffled screams caught Pinkie's attention. She swiveled her head towards the large window to her left, where, to her surprise, a dentist and a construction worker were quite literally left hanging, gripping onto two statues for dear life.
"Uh, Otis? You wanna get those two, too?" she asked, resisting the urge to giggle at her impromptu pun.
Otis looked, but didn't react. "Yeah. Be right back, sir."
A correction of "It's Hopkins!" was made, but Otis didn't bother to oblige as he walked out of the building.
Pinkie, for her part, found it suitable to try and befriend what had to be a client, going by how he hadn't panicked. "Hi, si- uh, Hopkins!" She grinned. "I'm Olympia!"
"Nice to meet you."
"Sooooo how long have you lived in Toronto?"
"Oh, all my life. And you?"
"All my life too, too!" Pinkie giggled. "Are you-"
"Office clerk. Sort of like what you guys do at Odd Squad, but I handle more financial responsibilities. Taxes, payrolls, stuff like that."
Pinkie gave a nod and decided to segue into a topic that was more her speed. "Hey, do you like sweets?"
"Of course I do. Who doesn't?"
There was an uncomfortable silence as Pinkie slightly leaned forward, silently pressuring Hopkins to talk more about what he liked to eat to satisfy his sweet tooth. But either he wasn't keen on talking, or something about Pinkie was unnerving him.
"Uh...so...what sweets do you like?"
"Cookies. Brownies. Maybe a croissant here and there, or an eclair."
Usually, when faced with someone who was boring, Pinkie would find it fit to fill the silence with her own brand of energetic joy. Now, though, she found herself looking out the window at Otis, who had the rope attached to the dentist in his teeth and was working on tying another one around the construction worker.
And there was, of course, the silence. The ugly silence. Hopkins looked, by all means, completely approachable. He was just a guy who had been affected by oddness. So why was he so neutral and bland? Was he, perhaps, still affected by oddness, and that was why he wasn't in a good mood?
"Okay." Pinkie took a deep breath and pulled out a notepad and a small pen from behind her back, both bearing the red hexagonal seal of the Investigation department. "I believe I can help you solve this. What did you eat today?"
"Uh...well, I had some toast with jelly and some orange juice for breakfast. And for lunch, I had a sandwich."
"Aha!" Pinkie thrust her index finger at him, striking a pose like that of a detective that just had a eureka moment. "What did you have in the sandwich?"
"Just ham and mayo."
Pinkie scribbled that down on her notepad. The concept of meat, as well as the concept of eating meat, wasn't too surprising to her, especially since the human world had meat made for consumption. What made her stop and think, though, was one of her many lessons.
"Food is one of the most common ways to contract diseases of both odd and non-odd natures"...that was what one of the Professor O's said. And there are a ton of villains who attack with food and stuff! So maybe...
She tapped the pen on her chin. Like turning on a light, it suddenly came to her. "Where did you get the sandwich?"
Hopkins paused to think. "It was from some crazy food vendor. She kept saying that if I ate her food, then she'd make me a balloon." He shrugged. "I thought I was going to get a balloon animal if I bought something from her, and I do like balloon animals, so I bought a sandwich."
"I do too!" Pinkie chirped. "Balloon animals can be made into so many cool shapes and-" She stopped and cleared her throat. "No, no, Pinkie, focus on the case, focus on the case!"
"...Who's Pinkie?"
Time seemed to stand still for a moment. Pinkie froze, looking into Hopkins' confused eyes. Ohhh Celestia no. How is it I spent all that time at the Academy and I still can't get the name "Olympia" to stick in my head?! Now I have to make up an excuse! Uh, ah, what would work...?
"She's...she was an old friend of mine!" She hastily adjusted her glasses. "Yeah, I, uhh, always liked saying her name, and it was a joke that we would always call each other by the opposite names. 'Pinkie' kinda sorta stuck with me, but I go by Olympia. That's my actual name. I mean, if it wouldn't, I wouldn't be an Odd Squad agent, would I? Haha...ha..."
If Hopkins wasn't convinced, his expression didn't give it away.
"Olympia?"
Pinkie turned around. "Otis!" She heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. You, uh...got the other floating people?"
"Yep."
"Great! Hey, guess what? I think I might've figured out the problem!"
Otis blinked in what could generously be called surprise. "That fast?"
"Yeah! See, uh, this...uh..." Pinkie began to gesticulate wildly, nearly knocking her glasses off in the process. "Hopkins told me he ate a sandwich that was sold by this weird lady who said she was gonna make everyone who bought her food balloons." Her eyes drifted to Hopkins' stomach, nearly tempted to crack a joke about all the times her stomach had grown from eating food but opting to focus her efforts on steadying her nerves instead. "So I'm thinkin', what if we go and talk to the weird lady? She might be the reason why all these people are floating!"
For a minute, Otis sat on the theory. Then he gave an affirmative nod. "Sounds good. Let's go."
"Wait! What about the floating people?"
"Tie them to one of the poles."
Pinkie turned back around and looked past Hopkins to where the three-dimensional square-shaped pole was. "Ah. Well, that'll work."
Once Hopkins, the construction worker, and the dentist were secured, and the information about the weird lady was gathered, Pinkie and Otis went on their way.
"...and you know, I really thought this case would take longer to solve. I mean, I learned a lot at the Academy, and so did you...probably, maybe...but it feels like this shouldn't be so easy for being new agents and all."
"There she is."
Otis pointed to a woman who was chatting with an elderly man, presumably trying to get him to buy one of her products. She certainly looked cheery enough, but also eccentric -- a blue shirt with poofy sleeves, a yellow vest, a watermelon-patterned apron, shorts that looked like they were sewed by jesters, and shoes sprayed with some kind of golden dust. Oh, and the transparent fanny pack that had six balloons tied to its strap. Couldn't miss that.
But what really caught Pinkie's attention was the hair. Brown and curly, embedded with curly streamers and marked with paper umbrellas in lieu of bows. The woman looked like she just walked out of one heck of a party, and Pinkie was instantly enamored with her. She quickly rushed over to the little stand the woman had, standing behind the man and waiting for him to finish.
"Hello! May I interest you in one of my sandwiches?" the woman asked, opening the door and reaching inside of her cart. "I have many different kinds -- peanut butter and jelly, cheese, ham...and if you eat my food, I'll make you a balloon!"
Pinkie's grin stayed plastered on her face for all of five seconds before it dropped. She had been taught that most villains recognized Odd Squad agents, but either this woman was blissfully unaware or was feigning ignorance. Pinkie couldn't tell which it was.
"Uh..." She glanced at the options. "N-no thanks! We actually, uh..." Her head swiveled to her partner. "Maybe you should take this one."
Otis nodded and took a step forward. "May I have your name, please?"
"Oh! It's Party Pam."
"Pam, we've been getting reports of people floating because of the food you're selling. Did you happen to serve a businessman, a dentist, and a construction worker today?"
Pam nodded. "Sure did! They were all fascinated by my lovely sandwiches. Would you like one?"
Seeing Pam push her sandwiches took Pinkie back to when she was a new employee of Sugarcube Corner, and tried to force pastries onto passing ponies because she really wanted their money. Of course, she had long since grown out of that strategy now, but she could sympathize with Pam, and she decided to jump on that advantage. "Pam?" she asked. "Exactly how much do you make in a day?"
"I...what?"
"You don't make much, do you?" Pinkie shook her head, as though answering the question herself. "And you thought making them odd would be a selling point." When Pam didn't answer, she continued. "Maybe it's a good idea to not threaten your customers with making them balloons. Oh, oh, I know! You can make them balloon animals instead! Like, if they ask for a cat, make them a cat! Or a dog! Or a giraffe! Those are the best kinds of balloons!"
With tears welling up in her eyes, Pam looked almost ready to cry. "Oh...my God. I had no idea," she murmured. "I did want to make more money, and I thought...making people into balloons...I mean I saw it in a commercial once, and everyone looked so happy!" She gave a sigh, running a hand down her face. "I am so sorry. Here, I have some pound cake handy."
Pinkie's mouth began to water as Pam reached into the cart again and took eight slices of pound cake out. She had to resist eating it, and further resist thinking of the colt she babysat named Pound Cake.
"Come with us." Otis said. "You can help us in bringing the floating people back down to the ground."
Pam nodded, placed the plate of pound cake on her cart, and began following the agents.
Pinkie, for her part, could probably see the whole "one problem is solved, another problem is created" thing coming.
Good news: the floating people were brought down to earth.
Bad news: there was still an unchecked one ascending into space.
Even worse news: it was Pinkie's boss.
Staring up at her while Otis attempted to undo his shoelaces, Pinkie's mind scrambled for solutions. She was perfectly able of rescuing Ms. O on her own -- it wouldn't be the first time she'd rescued an airborne being. But it was harder to resort to usual tactics in her new body. It wasn't like she could suddenly sprout wings, which...well, they were actually cardboard wings that somehow granted her the ability to fly. But even so, she couldn't grow a pair of wings in this form or make cardboard wings work here.
Suddenly, an idea came to her, one that would work in both forms. And in this wacky world, it wouldn't attract too much attention, or so she hoped.
Clenching her fists, she took a deep breath and bunched up her legs.
"Olympia, what are you-"
A loud whooshing noise interrupted the question as Pinkie leaped into the air. Faster and faster she soared through the sky, bursting through gray clouds and slightly shivering as the air grew colder.
"Ms. O, hold on! I'll save you!" she called as soon as she saw a dark speck. Her hands became outstretched, her ears only caught the tail-end of a response about seagulls, and her mind was focused on the task at hand.
I'll save you, and then we can become friends!
Without a word, Pinkie snatched Ms. O from the sky, then, in an arching motion, began descending towards the ground as though preparing to kick an opponent in the face. The fact that the younger girl wasn't screaming didn't click in her brain, though she held on tightly to the sandwich that was in her hand.
Finally, with a boom, Pinkie landed, her fist resting in the sizeable crater she had made. Otis, holding his extended shoelaces, stared at the feat with something that she somewhat recognized as mild awe. "You could've just eaten the sandwich and floated up to her, you know."
Pinkie fixed him with a look of confusion. "Why? That would just make the problem worse! Then who would save me? You? 'Cause you'd float up here too, and then someone would have to save you...it's an endless cycle!" She giggled. "My way was much better."
"I..." Ms. O coughed. "Thank you, agent. But how did you know...?"
"Pam told me!" Pinkie pointed to the woman, who was rounding the corner with her cart. "She admitted she sold you a sandwich that made you float. Why'd you buy one, anyway?"
"I was hungry." Oprah threw it backhand. Miraculously, it landed in a conveniently-placed trash can. "Given the track record of villains' fashion choices, I probably should have used better judgment."
Before anyone could respond, Pam rushed up with the cart. "Oh, thank goodness!" She sighed in relief. "Oprah, I am so sorry. I-I just needed more money, and selling to you...I mean, you run Odd Squad. You're rich!"
Oprah held up an index finger. "I run an Odd Squad precinct. Not the entirety of Odd Squad." Her eyes went half-lidded. "And no, I'm not rich. Even if I was, my money wouldn't change the fact that you're running a failing business."
"But..." Pam stammered for a minute. "Sandwiches are all I know how to sell! It's been my livelihood since I was a child! I couldn't possibly give it up no matter how much I failed at it!"
"You're losing money." Pinkie said sympathetically, laying a hand on Pam's shoulder. "Sometimes, you have to know when to fold 'em." She perked up. "Oh, I know! How about you start a party-planning business! I mean, 'party' is in your name and everything! And you're already a super-duper good baker."
Silence fell over the group. Pam tapped her chin. "Hmm...that's not a bad idea. Plus I could still make my sandwiches!"
"And other food!" Pinkie added. "I'm a bit of a party aficionado myself, you know. I'm happy to give you some pointers!"
"Oh, would you?" Pam wrapped her arms around Pinkie and hugged her. "That would be great. Thank you so much!"
"Anytime!"
Ms. O began to squirm. "Uhh, a little help here?"
"Oh! Right, sorry." Pam let go and moved over to her cart, grabbing a piece of pound bread and giving it to Ms. O. "Here you are. Eat this and you'll turn back to normal."
To Pinkie's surprise, Ms. O took a huge bite out of the pound cake. It wasn't until she swallowed the bite that the pony-turned-human let her go, breathing a sigh of relief when she didn't float back up.
"Thank you." Ms. O dusted off her skirt. "Of course, I hope you realize this means we need to take you into custody."
Pinkie saw Pam's expression change into disappointment for a brief second. She suddenly leapt in between the two, eye contact fixed on her boss. "But Ms. O, she's reformed now! We can't just throw her in jail! She didn't do anything wrong!"
"She committed an odd crime, agent. That's grounds for prosecution. If it were on accident, I could be a little more lenient, but she knew she was selling tainted sandwiches. Sandwiches that could have led to a pretty hefty death toll."
Pinkie opened her mouth to fire out a retort, but suddenly remembered all of the Academy lessons she had been taught about villains. They were mean at best and pure evil at worst. They were not to be trusted. And if persuaded, some could be reformed. But Party Pam was nothing more than a woman who had almost completely good intentions. She wanted a new business tactic, so she decided to make her sandwiches with the ability to make people float. She was misguided, was all. And Pinkie couldn't let her just rot in a jail cell.
"Can't she do something to avoid going to jail?" she asked. "Like community service, or helping Odd Squad!"
"Olympia." Ms. O held up a hand to stop her, gazing at her with pity. "We're talking about a person doing something that could have killed people. That's not something that deserves a slap on the wrist." She gently placed her other hand on her shoulder. "Pam will be fine. But you need to understand that not every villain can be saved. Some can" -- her eyes moved to Otis for a brief second before they moved back to Pinkie -- "but most can't."
A pitiful whine got caught in Pinkie's throat.
"It'll be okay." Pam assured, walking over to Pinkie. "I need to face the consequences for what I've done." She opened her arms and wrapped them around the girl in a hug. "If it weren't for you, I never would have realized that what I was doing was hurting people. So I have to thank you."
Normally, Pinkie would either be the one initiating hugs, or would be the one who immediately wrapped about four pairs of forelegs around the other pony doing the hugging. Now, though, she hesitated for a moment, her forelegs moving on their own and wrapping themselves around Pam's back thanks to her unconscious.
It's not fair. It's not fair!
But a deep part of her knew that, just like in Equestria, some things in life weren't fair. She couldn't be friends with everyone. She couldn't reform everyone. It was just a fact everyone had to learn at some point.
That didn't mean seeing Pam being taken away by her boss stung any less, though.
The only thing that alleviated some of the pain was seeing Headquarters for the first time. Her eyes shone with wonder at all of the activity going on, and it even led her to develop a secret handshake with Otis by chance, even if he adamantly denied it. She began to get excited, her mind pushing Pam to the wayside as she began to run through all the cases she could possibly go on. She got a break for the rest of the day to get acquainted with Headquarters, and decided to spend it by running through the halls, checking out various rooms, and ignoring Otis's pleas to stop.
When she got to the hotel for the evening and flopped onto her bed, she was still abuzz with adrenaline, but found room to think back on what Ms. O had told her about Pam, about villains receiving serious consequences after inflicting harm on others that could have led to death.
Every Academy lesson about villains has taught me that they get into serious trouble for what they do. I understand that. Tirek, Chrysalis, Tropical Cyclone...they did bad things and got in trouble for it. Once a villain, always a villain.
But Pam was different. Pam wasn't a villain. She was misguided. And what does Odd Squad do for misguided people? Do they still get taken into custody if they did something bad that hurt people?
Maybe...maybe it's all about intent. Wanting to harm people and not meaning to. Maybe...that's why Pam...
The thought unfortunately lay incomplete as her eyes slowly closed and she fell into unconsciousness.
Author's Note
Yeah yeah...it's been a while. Rest assured, I'm gonna try and get this multi-chapter piece out of the way bit by bit. I haven't had time to map out how it should end, but I'm about...halfway there, I'd say. Going to be making this one of my big projects that I hope to complete in 2025.
There were few ponies who could match the exuberance and cheer of Pinkie Pie.
Ever since that fate-laden day, when the Sonic Rainboom had washed over her and her family's rock farm, sending her mane and tail in a tizzy and letting her experience an emotion not ever felt before, she had made it her life's mission to cheer other ponies up through any means possible. Even a simple game of hide-and-seek meant a lot to a pony who was having a crummy day, no matter how old they were.
But one of the most frequent, tried-and-true methods she went back to were parties.
Specifically, the kind of parties that made ponies happy from the moment they walked in to the moment their hooves stepped free of the doorway.
Pinkie liked parties because they weren't just a source of happiness, they were so flexible. Parties came in all sorts of shapes and forms, had all sorts of guests, and held all sorts of tones. A birthday party, for example, could be happy and joyful, but she had come across at least one foal who was in their goth phase and wanted something dark and brooding. The black had taken forever to get out of her hair that day, one of the cons of not turning to Rarity and instead declaring she could dye her hair herself. But the phenomenal party made the struggle worth it.
On top of that, there was no end to how a party could be decorated. If a pony wanted thousands of bits worth of decorations around their house, fine. If they wanted only a few balloons and a streamer or two, fine. Personally, Pinkie preferred going all out, but she too was flexible.
And the location...it could be anywhere. A park, the interior of a well-lit mansion, even a storefront. Pinkie believed the wilder the better.
Of course, life wasn't that idyllic. Nopony could live a life full of pure goodness without encountering something bad.
But it just so happened that the "bad" consisted of villains crawling out of the woodworks. Villains who didn't particularly like parties, or smiles, or even happiness. Villains that Pinkie certainly didn't feel sorry for.
As an Element Bearer, she had a duty to protect Equestria from harm, to protect it so that ponies could continue smiling and having parties. And together with her friends, she did it. She succeeded every time, even when the chips were down. The villains got blasted away or destroyed, just as they deserved. After all, somepony who didn't want to smile was an enemy of hers.
That was why she held a saying close to her heart: "once a villain, always a villain".
Many failed in understanding what power happiness had. It was infectious. If somepony was having a grumpy day, Pinkie would make sure they would smile by the time their head hit the pillow that night. The same held true for villains -- many had that evil "mwahaha, I'm going to defeat you and all your friends and all of Equestria" smile, and that was what ticked her off. That wasn't the smile she was looking for. She wanted a smile of pure happiness.
Take, for example, Tropical Cyclone. A Pegasus pony who had the power to conjure natural disasters whenever she was angry using a magical artifact known simply as the Weather-or-Not Necklace. Not even Rainbow Dash could stand up to her torrential torment of thunderstorms, nor could Twilight or Rarity dispel the nasty tornadoes and hurricanes that threatened to sweep them off of their hooves. It had taken some serious Element work to get her to calm down, but its light was not enough to dispel the darkness that sat in her heart. Even when Pinkie tried to befriend her, she had coldly whacked her hoof away with a wing, spoke swears that would have gotten Pinkie a spanking from her parents, and flew off into the sky towards the unknown. When Pinkie returned home that day, exhaustion and sadness washed over her. She felt a sense of defeat that made her hole herself up in her room and think.
Among one of those thoughts, out of many, was the possibility of going to every world and spreading happiness. After all, if Twilight had gone to the human world, what was stopping Pinkie from going to a different world to spread her mission?
She knew parties were her career calling. She knew spreading happiness and joy was her destiny calling. It was in her cutie mark and everything. But she couldn't just stop at Equestria. She couldn't just stop at Equus. She had to go beyond her world, to other worlds that could benefit from a touch of her wisdom and mentality. She was already making frequent visits to the human world, working together with her human counterpart to spread the cheer. What was one more for the road?
The problem was, she didn't exactly know how to get to any other worlds without consulting Twilight. And she already knew what Twilight would say if she asked her. Long lectures about how traveling to other worlds was dangerous if Pinkie didn't know what she was doing, how she could get trapped in a world she went to if something went wrong, how some worlds weren't as fond of equines as others. The same boring technobabble that Pinkie didn't care to listen to because she already had experience with going to another world and it wasn't as disastrous as what Twilight was describing, especially since the alicorn had no idea Pinkie was even going to the human world. (The two Pinkies resolved to keep their meetups a secret from their respective friend groups. They hated keeping secrets, but felt this was one crafted out of necessity that wouldn't nag at them too much.)
So when Pinkie managed to get a mysterious portal opened up to a mysterious world by way of dropping a bowl of cupcake batter on the floor, of course she was right on board with being the first (and only) pony to go through. It was, to put it simply, a happy accident, since putting in two cups each of rainbows and unicorn magic was only meant to make the cupcakes taste sweeter and the recipe certainly didn't include a "do not drop, otherwise portal will appear" warning.
But it didn't matter how she made the portal. She could worry about the logistics behind that later. Right now, she was standing in a whole new world. And somehow, some way, even though she had never been here before, she felt like she was home. She felt a renewed sense of purpose. Like a new avenue had been opened up for her dream, because...well, it had.
It was perfect.
Or, well...maybe not so perfect.
