sometimes i wake up at night after a pony dream and realize im alone again and its starting to eat at me
A mare lied in bed, staring at the ceiling of the dark room, dimly illuminated only by a small window to her right. The window, dusty and lightly cracked in the bottom left, let in the pale moonlight, allowing her to only make out the vague dark shapes of the room which were the door and a lamp.
As she lied there, she pondered her depressive state. Though she usually felt low, this was a much deeper feeling of sadness that had been wearing at her mind for the past few months, and these past 2 months especially have only increased the feelings.
Tonight marked a month in her new home and town since she moved from Canterlot to Ponyville due to cost of living and recent suffering she had endured. It's not like she had friends there anyway, in fact, most ponies rather disliked her, but they were just unwilling to tell her to fuck-off.
She knew that nopony liked her. She usually didn't care or told herself that she didn't care, but she knew she was lying. She cares so much and this loneliness and longing to finally be cared about by somepony, held close by somepony who won't hurt her or violate her. Torments her mind.
She couldn't even remember when she was last happy or what it felt like. Was she ever happy? It had been so long.
She thought about killing herself to make the depression finally go away, she had the faded scars to prove that she attempted it years ago. For a while she couldn't bring herself to try again, that was just one of the many reasons she hated herself. Now, though, she has confidence.
Getting back out of bed, she trots to the kitchen and has a seat. Looking over the photographs scattered on the table, she immediately feels sick again. What were just awful memories were now seven photographs right in front of her. Her vision becomes blurry as tears form in her eyes. The sight of seeing herself like that. How did they find her? Why can't they just leave her alone? Who else have they sent these to.
The seven photos depicted a crying, bruised her being raped by several stallions. They laugh as she's bleeding from the nose and bawling. That night comes back to her: the pain, torment, terror and rape, and worse of all it was in a way her fault this happened to her.
She met a stallion at a bar and he seemed nice. She was no stranger to drowning herself in booze, as she used to frequent the many bars of Canterlot that hadn't banned her. Despite being hardly coherent already she took the opportunity to let him buy her a drink, she was low on bits after all, Stupidly she had excused herself to the bathroom and in that brief time the stallion must've drugged her drink. Not even 20 minutes after she started drinking it did she start to feel dizzy. The world started spinning around her and the rest of the night is in bits and pieces except for the torment. She was in somepony's living room with four stallions. She didn't realize what was going to be happening initially. In fact, she couldn't even walk or form coherent sentences. She was under their mercy. They were trying to tell her something but she couldn't understand due to her drugged state and this only pissed them off, and then came the first strike.
A hoof across her face, then another in the side of the head. Stunned, she fell to the floor, and they dragged her up onto the couch and started spreading her hind legs. She knew what was happening at this point but could only flail around and plead broken sentences like "n-o-o, stop plea", "ohh c-celestia don't", "just l-l-let me go" but all she received was a bigger beating. Strike after bloody strike to the face turned her into a bloody mess. Then she felt a prodding at her labia as the stallion behind her, holding her down, began thrusting into her. Another stallion's dick soon hit her face as she was forced to blow him. Eventually, after she had all her holes violated and maybe even a few ribs broken, she was left in an alleyway outside. She just lay there leaking from her anus and pussy and the taste of cum still fresh on her tongue, and got up and went home. She got herself into the mess by leaving her drink to go to the bathroom, and she paid the consequences.
Furthermore, she could've taken legal action, but she really didn't want the whole city knowing what happened to her and knowing her, the stallions would've taken any violent measure to make sure she'd never take any sort of action. Getting up, she trots to a door. Upon opening, it reveals a small room with a chair and rope attached to a light fixture on the ceiling.
It's time.
Nothing else is to be done, she locked her cat out of the home, she wrote a short note to those who might care. Entering the room, she approaches the chair and steps on. She fastens the rope onto her neck, and just stares for a few minutes as she thinks for the last time at how she got to this point and what her life had become. She kicks the chair away from her hooves, causing her to drop and cry out at the intense pain on her neck for a minute. Only a minute, as things soon became blurry and her ears range. As oxygen seized to her brain, she flailed and gasped.
There was still time to go to that party that pink pony invited her to and maybe make new friends. But she was too far gone, too jaded. She knew what was best for herself. To leave behind the world, those who hurt her, all those who may still love her and to all those who were and will.
