A DASHING THIEF
An SFM collaboration by SirSirloin and Novanaptune4.
Concept and SFM art by NovaNeptune4
Dialogue by SirSirloin
[A dark and stormy Friday night, in a dilapidated castle somewhere outside Canterlot]
“Razza razza, fricca fraka, stuck in some lame library on a Friday night…I’m a hero, exploring creepy old castles is supposed to be fun! Instead, I’m stuck here with Twilight on my back about rEsPoNsIbIliTy and junk…”
[BUMP]
“Huh?! Damn place is falling apart. No great loss, none of these dust gatherers even look worth readin’! ‘Cept maybe this one. ‘The Greatest Thief Who Ever Lived’. Rouge, eh? Never heard of her. Bet she had fun, though.”
[twitch]
“Lotta adventures. Only goin’ into boring castles when she wanted to.”
[twitch] [flap]
“Nopony giving her a hard time! Nopony holding her back!”
[flap-flap-flap]
“Hell, even if this castle was boring? At least she’d probably get to leave with something awesome, like gold, or diamonds, or--”
“Almost did, sweetie!”
[FLAP]
“Huh?!”
[FWOOOSH]
“GYAGH!”
“And I’d have gotten away with it, too, if the old bitch who ran this place a couple hundred years back hadn’t been a poor winner and trapped my soul in that admittedly stylish tome. Thanks for setting me free, by the way!~”
“W-who…What…?!”
“Weren’t you paying attention, sweetie? I’m Rouge, the greatest thief who ever lived…and you’re the cutie who’s gonna help make my comeback happen!~ Does my dashing hero have a name?~”
“Uh, n-name’s Rainbow Dash. Happy to help a lady out, I…I guess…Man, you’re gorgeous…”
“Oh ho, you’re a vision yourself, Dashie!~ I can call you Dashie, right? We’re about to become good friends after all.~ The closest.~”
“Sure…And we are?”
“Totally! Hell, even our names…’Rainbow Rouge’, doesn’t that sound perfect?”
“Perfect for what now?”
“Eh, or even just Rouge Dash. I’m not picky. And you won’t be either!”
“Perfect for what?!”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m a ghost without a host, and you’re so perfect, the other end of my spectrum, that your mere presence set me free! I simply MUST show my gratitude!~”
“Uh, h-how? Like a lifetime's supply of stain remover gratitude, or…?”
“No.~”
[SWOOP]
“Like this.”
[Dash gasping as the strange spirit places two fingers against–almost into her spine]
“AGH! Ugh…hugh…wh…wh…Hhhh!”
[And into her soul.]
“Whugh…wh…what’s ha…hagh…happin’ to…me…?”
“I am, sweetie, just relax and enjoy it. I’m not even fully linked yet and I can already tell you are.~”
“C-cold…buh…b-but…so warm…”
“That’s not the word you’re looking for.”
“S-s-so…so…”
“Say it.”
“Agh…agh…”
“Dashie. Stop lying to yourself for once and just say it.”
“…so right!”
“Now was that so hard?~”
“D-didn’t…didn’t know I could…feel this way…”
“I did. And now you’re going to feel it for the rest of your life. Not a bad reward for just opening a dusty old book, huh?~”
“M-my head…my b-b…”
“Yep! Mind, body, hell, even your soul. All exactly what I’m looking for in a host!~ Well, the soul needs to lose some weight, all that moral baggage, and really, what’s a master treasure hunter like you going to need with a conscience anyway?!”
“N-no, m-my…my b…”
“Your bicuspids? Heh, yeah, that’s a nice touch, don’tcha think? Show’s people you mean business.~ I mean, I did think about making you a little batty, but I also don’t want to mess with those lovely wings of yours. Just because we’re merging into my perfect reincarnation doesn’t mean you can’t be your own thing!~”
“Muh…muh…b-b…”
“Your brain? Heh, yeah, like getting eaten out and an all over massage at the same time, isn’t it? It’s fun for me, too!~ Sinking into the core of your being, flooding your mind with all I know and all I am, mixing oh so perfectly with your knowledge and your skills and your adorable confidence… You think you were confident before, Dashie, you just fucking WAIT until I’m done drowning out all that silly ‘Am I a good person?’ nonsense or those little pockets of ‘What will people think of me?!’ You’ll know what they’ll think of you: that you’re the best damn treasure hunter in the world and if they were as honest with themselves as you are, they’d be killing each other just to kiss your boots!”
“B-b…”
“Boots, yeah. Boots, brains, and you’ve already got the beauty! We’re gonna be the complete package!~”
“My…butt…s-so b-big…”
“…oh, right. Heh, yeah. Gotta make ya look the part, don’t I? Now hold tight, this is gonna be FUN.”
[Howling wind]
“I…c-can’t…I-I’m Rainbow D-Dash! I-I’m the E-Elment of…s-sonethin’…I’m not a…b-but I wanna…deep down I w-wanna…I-I can’t…C-can I…? I…I…IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--”
[THUNDERCLAP]
Transformation GIF
[A dissolving hiss as the pink-purple smoke clears, revealing a busty, beautiful, smirking new form]
[♫Sinister, sultry saxophone music ♫]
“I am gonna have way too much fun with this.~”
[A few ancient death traps, puzzles and locks later…]
“Mmm, well that was easy. Let’s see, the hearing of a bat, the speed of a Pegasus, the body of a goddess, and the cunning of a snake. Yeah, this is gonna work out just fine.~”
[The gem emits a wine glass hum in her elegant hand]
“Why thank you, my little toy. We are a beautiful matching set, aren’t we?~ And you’re just the first in my collection. The Sonic Rainboom was nothing. Equestira’s never gonna forget me. Hell, look at me! Why would they want to?~”
[Distant trotting. A calling voice] “Rainbow? Are you still here?”
“Oh, this is gonna be fun.”
“AGH! D-D-Dash?!”
“In the lovely flesh, Twilight!~”
“W-what happened to you?! Those clothes, that body…th-that gem. That’s the gem from Princess Celestia’s wedding ring! It was right, it was here all along! Uh, good work, I guess…”
“Thanks, sweetie. Oh, but enough of that Celestia stuff, m’kay? Finders keepers.~”
“Your voice…your eyes…Dash, what’s happened to you?!”
“The best thing that ever could, honey.~ Tell you what, no halfsies on the treasure, but why should I keep all this fun to myself?~”
W-what fun?”
“Sit right there, doll face, I’ve got a book over here that’ll explain everything…~”
END…?
Author's Note
SFM art by Novaneptune 4. Highly recommend them for SFM commissions and their prices are great. Check out their gallery to find these lovely pics all on their own, including a smoking transformation GIF!
PDF version of this story downloadable here.
Custom Rouge Dash commission info here.
