Author's Note

Resume: During the Dirk Thistleweed concert at the Starswirled Music Festival, Applejack gets stripped and her foot stomped while dancing at the front of the crowd, and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie help her get away from the crowd. She tells her friends to go back and enjoy the concert without her, but they refuse to let her miss the concert by herself, and one of them offers to be her "accountibilinakebuddy".

“Accountibilinakebuddies”

In the main stage during the day. A country duo on keyboard and violin has drawn a loud, happy crowd, and Applejack begins working her way up through their ranks.

“Almost to the front! Come on, y’all! Do the Catwalk Stomp!” Applejack said.

The girl nearest her takes this encouragement just a bit too seriously, putting her hand on Applejack's short denim jacket with rolled-up sleeves and yellow fringe at the pockets, ripping it off her torso, keep it for herself and bringing her heel squarely down on one booted foot (Applejack's foot) with a crunch. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash have pulled in a bit closer.

“Yow!” She pauses. “I’m okay, so long as no one else...”

She never gets to finish that sentence, as the crowd goes way over neare her without see what they're really doing and does the same think: they undones her low ponytail by take her red hair tie off of her long blonde hair (leaving her blonde hair loose) and rips Applejack's sunglasses with transparent green apple-shaped lenses, brown hat edged with green puffs, white dress with flowered hem and red apple clip at the neckline, red underwear and brown boots marked with red apples off of her entire body.

“Yow!” She got confussed, smiles and hides her embarrassment. “I-I mean... it's nothing than a little agitation do not solve, right?”

Applejack now completely naked tries to hide her bare light orange body with her long hair loosed along with her hands as Bulk dances his way over and mashes the same appendage under one heel. The screen flashes briefly to an X-ray image of her lower leg and the newly fractured bones in its foot while leaving Bulk’s unaffected. From here, cut to a close-up of his broad, shirtless chest as Naked Applejack’s scream of pain rings out loud and clear. He moves off, oblivious to the injury he has just inflicted and leaving Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow in view.

“Maybe I oughta mosey outta the line of stompin’.” The naked blonde said as balances on her good barefoot and clutches the broken one.

The other two each lend an arm for support. Dissolve to them easing her onto a tree stump well back from the stage.

“Y’all head back. No reason you gotta miss the up-front-ness on account of me.” Naked Applejack said, cutting to Rainbow.

“Oh, we aren’t letting you miss Dirk Thistleweed and be all alone fully naked.” Rainbow Dash said, gesturing toward stage.

From o.s. “Yeah!” Pinkie Pie said and pan to frame her. “It’s against the Fun Times Festival Friends Partner Pal Credo to go off without an accuontibilinakebuddy!”

“Aw, y’all are the best.” Applejack smiles and then thinks. “Hmmm…”

Cut to her perspective of these two, Snips strolling past behind them and sporting a floppy, gaudily striped/decorated top hat.

“…who should I ask to come with me?”

She stops short, mildly flummoxed at these words. Back to her, weighing the issue carefully.

“Hmmm…”

Green eyes shift from one to another.

Snap to Naked Applejack and Pinkie Pie, the latter now sitting on the grass. A third performer has joined the duo onstage to play acoustic guitar.

“Thanks for hangin’ with me, Pinkie.” She sighs gloomily. “I-I’m sure we’ll find some other way to see Dirk Thistleweed…someday.” Pinkie shoots to her feet.

“Wait a minute.” Pinkie turns Applejack’s face to her own. “Today is someday! I’m gonna make sure you still get to see Dirk Thistleweed...” Sneaks; zoom in slowly. “...with a crazy plan that’s crazy like a fox. And it’s so "fox" that it might just work! Come on, crazy!”

She peels out in a cloud of dust which makes her own yellow-laced pink sneakers sliding off of her feet on purpose, then returns baresocked after a moment’s delay at a more sedate pace.

“Oh, right. Bad foot. Can’t run.” Pinkie lifting Applejack’s injured bare leg and drop it. “Got it!”

A second high-speed bug-out is followed by her appropriation of a wheelbarrow, the dumping of Applejack into same, and an energetic carting away of the patient. Cut to an extreme close-up of a steep uphill slope, the solitary wheel trundling up in fits and starts to the tune of Pinkie’s labored grunts and heaves, then to a most apprehensive Applejack.

“Uh, Pinkie, it’s... it’s not a big deal. We can just go back down the hill.” She said; Zoom out to frame both.

“No! You... are... seeing... Dirk... Thistleweed!” Baresocks Pinkie Pie said trying hard.

She gains the hilltop and tips Applejack forward to the grass naked on the end of this, then lets the wheelbarrow topple onto its side and flops across it with an utterly spent groan. Cut to just behind Applejack’s bare shoulder and zoom in slowly on the stage, which she can now see clearly from one side up here, then back to her.

“Oh, my gravy!” Naked Applejack smiles broadly and makes a soft gasp. “This is amazing!” Glancing to one side. “Pinkie Pie, you’re the best!”

Confusion registers on her face as the camera zooms out to show that the magenta-haired goofball is nowhere to be seen. She checks a few other angles, but comes up dry until her attention shifts back to the stage and the added guitarist being pushed up to its edge by Pinkie.

“CAN YOU SEE HIM NOW, APPLEJACK?” Pinkie said loudly.

This can only be Dirk Thistleweed, then. A security guard seizes the opportunity to nail her with a flying tackle which it makes Pinkie's fluffy yellow socks slides themselfs off of her feet and falls into the stage like a feather; both go sailing off the stage and into the crowd, but Pinkie Pie now baretights laughs as they bounce her overhead. Naked Applejack offers a slightly strained grin and wave at her friend’s overenthusiastic effort to make her happy.

Now after the Pinkie's help, snaps to a long shot of Naked Applejack and Snips sitting at a table well away from the stage and zoom in slowly. They are side by side, but turned just a few degrees to face away from one another, and he lets his short legs dangle over the edge of the bench.

“It’s kind of weird, don’t you think? Pickin’ me when both your real friends offered to be with you?” Snips said.

“You looked so lonely without Snails.” Applejack said.

Snips removes angrily and throws down his hat. “Hmph! That name means nothing to me!” Sighs regretfully. “I don’t get it. I told him I lost my earplugs and then he just…abandoned me!”

“Well, at least we have each other.” She pats his shoulder

“It just stinks not to have a friend around, you know?” Snips leaves table, retrieves his hat.

“I-I’m sayin’...” Before she finishes.

“I’m all alone.” He said; increasingly worked up.

She said annoying. “I’m literally right next to you.” Cut to Snips.

“Just me, myself, and...” A testy throat-clearing from Naked Applejack; she shoots him a quizzical look, and Snips comes out of the pity party with a tentative smile. “Y-Y-You want to be my new best friend?”

“I-I’m not sure if I...” Applejack scratches back of head.

“Oh, o-oh, y…I-I…I understand.” He says sadly.

“All right! I’ll be your best friend...” She sighs resignedly.

“SNAILS!!” Snips runs past her, instantly perked up.

He pulls his hat on and embraces his fellow dimwit, who has just arrived at the tables.

“You came back!” Snips said happily.

“What do you mean, Snips? I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you! ” Snails said.

Zoom out slightly as Dirk walks up to the boys, carrying a stack of folded clothes.

“Dirk Thistleweed?” Applejack said surprissed as her mind blowns.

“You guys know Snails?” Dirk laughs. “He’s the funniest fella I ever done met!”

Cut to Applejack, stunned naked far beyond the capacity for speech, and back on the start of the next line.

“Do the thing. Do the thing!” Dirk's voice catching excitedly.

“The thing” turns out to be Snails making flatulent noises by means of a hand shoved into his armpit. He, Snips, and Dirk laugh themselves silly over the old gag, the singer dropping his load of laundry, while Naked Applejack tries and fails to make any kind of sense out of what she has just witnessed.

Dirk then asks while blushing happily by seeing Applejack completely naked with her long blondie hair loose. “Hey, uh, considerin’ y’all’s friends with the greatest artistic genius of our generation...” Cut to the three teens; he continues o.s. “...why don’t y’all join me backstage?”

Now Naked Applejack gets her face working again and smiles right along with the two clowns. Dissolve to a long overhead shot of the main stage and its cheering crowd and zoom in slowly. Dirk is now performing on acoustic guitar with the violinist and keyboard player seen in the opening, and Applejack, Snips, and Snails are watching from the wings, she stretched out on a couch naked, the two boys on their feet. Dirk winks at the trio.

“Never leave me alone again!” Snips hugs Snails so happily by see him again.

“Still right here.” Applejack miffs, waving vainly for attention.

“Iris out” to black, centered on her face.